ladyarwenrose

I don't get that option. they make you go on medical leave (uses up all sick and vacation time) and then you go on STD. once i'm on STD I only get 75% of my normal pay....and that's only because i've been there over 15 years. most people only get 50%!!!

I struggled with my decision to do this as well. I feel your pain. It's overwhelming to hear/see everything that has happened to you so far. But I agree with the others. I beleive it's more a steering away from the bad doctors/hospitals then anything else. It took a lot of research for me to finally decide to go ahead with this. I thought about it for almost 10 years (secretly). As far as finding a doctor that was right for me? I lucked out and liked the first one I saw, and he uses the best hospital in my area. I originally wanted to do the lap band, but he does all three surgeries. I found them on www.lapband.com. they have a section where you can see doctors in your area that do the surgery. check it out, maybe it will give you some more idea's on who to see. and maybe start a topic here for people that are in Florida and ask who they go to see? I'll keep you in my thoughts! hugs

So today we had a luncheon for a team-mates birthday. mostly stuff that I can't have anymore. I stayed away from the pop and desserts (yeah me). I did have a few chips (oppps). I had a salad (yes!!!). and the meat was italian beef sandwiches. oh well, I had one. I start my pre-op diet on Saturday and the next birthday luncheon isn't until mid-July so things should be good for now. and for the next one I doubt I'll be able to eat whatever they decide to have anyway. which is a good thing, right??? If it's something I can't work with for lunch then i'll just decline to attend. Funny thought....wonder what they will be able to do for my birthday in October. Can just imagine their horror as what i'll be eating from now on and what they always want are on completely different spectrums of the food scale. LOL This is also why i'm glad there are no family functions coming up. Unless they do a birthday/anniversary get together the next one isn't until Thanksgiving. yeah My anxiety kicked up something fierce today and almost threw me into one of my panic attacks. Thank God I calmed myself down. Not really sure why either other than i'm in so much pain from my back, hips, and knees. The doctors are being jerks about giving me pain meds too, which doesn't help. I just want the pain to go away. I want to be able to live a normal life. I want so many things that I can't have at this moment in time. Hurry up July 2nd! Hurry up! HUGS

So I have only told 6 people at work so far that i'm having the sleeve done on July 2nd. There are another 3 that can probably guess that i'm doing this, or something like it. My boss doesn't know, just that i'm out on July 2nd and will not be back for 2 weeks. HR knows of course so that they can approve my medical leave. I haven't told anyone else or hinted at it with anyone. I haven't even told anyone that i'll be leaving at the end of June. I'm fluctuating between just letting it all out and to hell with what they think. Or to keep it under wraps. Unfortunately it may be out of my hands now. 2 of the people that know are loud....so the more they talk to me about it the better the chance that someone overhears (and understands) what i'm doing. And then there's the lady that found out today. I never meant for her to know. but there were three of us talking about sleep studies. she asks if i've had one too, of course I say yes. all of a sudden she's asking me if i'm having the lap band done. i'm not a good lier, and I can't hide things very well. I said no and after pushing me I told her I was having the sleeve. she too is a loud mouth. three rows of people can hear her talk about whatever. I asked her to not tell anyone and to not talk about it out loud. we'll see how long that lasts. I have a feeling that it will be around the department very soon. (she's a big gossiper too) My boyfriend says so what, to f**k with whatever they say. it's my choice and my body. it's my life i'm saving, not theirs. and he's right, completely right. but I have to work with these people. I don't know, maybe I should just let it out. Or.....I could just blurt it out on Facebook the day of the surgery.....since about 20 people from my department are facebook friends. that would get the word out REAL fast. hehehehe. my boyfriend says not too, but we'll see how I feel on surgery day. decisions decisions side thought....wonder if my wonderful mother (sarcastic) told anymore of my family? I'm not going to say anything to anymore of them. And if she continues to turn grandma against me and actively work to change my mind then she's not invited to be there on surgery day and I won't want to see her after that. she'll become a see you on holidays family member. I'm even thinking of moving out of state once I get some things straightened out. that would be a few years from now. Phew! It's a lot to think about! Till next time.....HUGS

Someone told me that I should keep track of my experiences, thoughts, success, etc. So here I am, writing about my life and kinda nervous about it. Who am I? I'm 36 years old, team lead of accounts payable for a large private company. I'm someone that you would view as successful and confident. but i'm not confident at all! I'm 334 lbs as of today at my doctor's. I've been overweight my entire life. Growing up you'd have viewed me as the pudgy kid that everyone liked. but somewhere around 4th grade that all changed. Whether it was the sudden need for glasses (and the subsequent non-stop teasing)....or the freaky way I found out my dad did drugs....I started to put on pounds quickly and never stopped. I became a loner, only associating with others that would be considered loners. Only one person stayed with me during all this, my best friend from 1st grade (and btw, we're still friends today). in junior high it got worse, i packed on the pounds faster. My uncle tried to rape me and I was trying to hide my body from all men in order for them to NOT want me. By College I was around 280lbs and a size 26. Four years later I was a size 30. Today i'm a size 34. I'm not confident at all! I hate the way my body looks....truth be told I hate everything about me (personally). I've struggled with depression all my life and it affects the way I view myself inside. I have tried to lose weight every way possible. I've tried liquid diets, i've tried atkins, i've tried weight watchers, i've tried counting calories, you name it i've tried it. The most I ever lost was 20lbs and it came right back (and then some). Truth be told, I never truely wanted it more than I want it right now. But it's too late to do it on my own now. I need help! and the Sleeve is the tool I have chosen for myself. I did a lot of research and put a lot of thought into it. But I could never do this alone! Luckily I have a wonderful man in my life and he fully supports whatever decision I make. And since he lives with me he will be there to help me stay on track, etc. You may be asking yourself (or maybe not) what made me finally decide to lose the weight once and for all. On March 7, 2008 my baby sister (at 20) died in a violent car accident. She was the sunshine of the family, the glue that kept us all together. Losing her almost killed me. I wound up in the hospital and discovered I was bipolar and finally got the help I needed. She was always the pudgy one in school but was popular. The last year of her life she was losing weight, joined the track team, was doing really well in school. She talked to me over and over about needing to get a grip on things and lose the weight. A week before her death mom and I got to see her in a track meet. she was awesome! (in our eyes....about average over all) the last thing I ever said to her was that I loved her and was proud of her, and with a hug we parted ways forever. When I finally got myself together I remember her gentle proding to start losing the weight. And i've tried to do just that ever since. I can just imagine her in the background, cheering me on, praising each little victory with me. You see by the time I got a grip I was up to 382lbs....now i'm 334! big difference right? I'm finally learning how I need to eat and how much i'm supposed to eat. and this surgery will just help me get that much further. to do this surgery you have to have people behind you that will support you through the entire process. It doesn't have to be a lot of people, just ones that will sincerely be there along the way. for me that's my boyfriend, my best friend, and a handful of co-workers. Unfortunately that is NOT my family. It hurts me to think that they won't support me in this. because of their reaction I've stopped telling anyone else. my department at work has over 30 people in it. only 8 know. my parents know. Dad initially tried to change my mind the day that I hinted at it to them. he hasn't said a word since, just ignored it like it wasn't happening. Mom is actively trying to get me to NOT do this. My other sibling doesn't like it, but will support my decision....besides she's 3 hours away anyway. Mom is the one that told one of my aunts (who hasn't said a word) and my grandmother. After doing some research of her own my mother told my grandmother what she discovered about the risks and complications of the procedure. my grandmother called me balling her eyes out and BEGGING me NOT to do this. It was the hardest thing i've ever done to stick to my decision and talk through her fears. don't think it helped much though. since then my family just ignores it like it's the elephant in the room. If I had a word of advice to anyone that's still thinking about doing the sleeve it would be to think Long and Hard about your decision. do the research, ask lots of questions, use this site (it's awesome!?!). but most of all....make sure you have some strong support. there will be people out there (like my family) that will actively try to change your mind....or come against you for doing (or have done) this. If you're not absolutely sure about your decision you will be in turmoil. I'm telling you right now, if I didn't have my boyfriends support I would not be doing this. he is my strength. he helps me remember to let things go, think positively, etc etc. the exact opposite of me...lol. he's the love of my life and i'm awed to have such a great man in my life. okay, guess i've talked long enough. I'm going to sign off. till next time. *Hugs*

my entire family is BEGGING me NOT to have this surgery. They tell me that I can do this on my own. I just need to eat less....eat healthier....go on a diet....try weight watchers again....etc etc. I tried explaining to them why i'm doing this. that i'm doing this for my health. that i'm on the CPAP in orer to keep breathing when I sleep. that I can't excersize because of the weigh causing major issues with my back, knees, hips. (to which she said I just need to push past it and excercise) I'm having more and more internal issues because of my weight. they still oppose it. and my own mother has said that if she could come over and FORCE me not to do this she would. so i've stopped talking to my family about it. i'm still having this surgery and they just won't be a part of any of it.

thanks

Kinda off topic, but anyone else here not able to cook well? I tried cooking something last night because my boyfriend wasn't feeling that well. (btw...he does all the cooking normally). I started to burn the potatoes, but luckily still salvageable. I was so discuraged!!!! I want to be able to cook well enough to participate in the meals. but last night was yet another reminder that i'm a failure in the kitchen. no wonder i've gotten to where I am today. I was eating premade stuff that I could just warm up. Wonder If i'll ever be able to really cook?

how much is each ice cube? is it 1/4 cup? 1/2 cup? guess i could check it out for myself but i'm curious now and i'm at work. lol I will definately be trying this for some of things that i'll be eating that are not on my boyfriends desired foods.

i have my final visit with the surgeon on July 19th. my pre-diet starts the 18th. I'm nervous about the anesthesia as I've been really notious (sp?) from the light anesthesia in the past. wondering if it will be worse for this one since it's a stronger one. I'm also getting nervous because work has yet to approve me for my medical leave and they are not answering me....sigh. If I don't hear by friday i'm going to contact corporate and try and get some answers. wondering if I should have just put in for vacation time and been done with it. my emotions are all over the place because my family doesn't agree with it and is actively trying to change my mind. I've started ignoring their calls because of it. it's hard for me because family is everything to me. and now I have a financial strain this month on top of everything. I lost it yesterday! I came home from work, cried myself to sleep. boyfriend let me sleep until dinner was ready. and i was back in bed an hour later. I have no energy, i'm tired all the time, and like I said my emotions are going crazy. if it wasn't for a friend I met on here talking to me via facebook last night I'm not sure how i'd be today. but I woke up trying to put it all behind me. emotions are still haywire, i'm still dead tired, but at least i can concentrate and get my work done today. Still feel ready to cry though. Not sure why I said all that.

thanks. I'm trying to get him to help me....if I can just get him off his video game....lol. but seriously he is a GREAT guy and i'm blessed to have him. and yes, practice what you preach!

Dr. Mikhail from Life Weigh....going to Good Samaritan Hospital In Downers Grove, IL

you must have added to your signature 4 times. go to edit your signature and just delete the extra ones.

my doctor is having me drink some chicken broth too, but it's because i have to have a higher salt intake due to my lithium. some doctors allow 1 cup of broth. I'd ask your doctor. Patrick, if you make it secret I will join. I have a lot of coworkers and family on my facebook that don't know i'm doing this.

thanks for the offer patrick, but my facebook people don't even know i'm doing this. i stopped telling people i'm having it done.

I agree with Karen, if not for looking forward to the surgery I'd be in the cookie isle getting chips ahoy chocolate chunk cookies....or in the ice cream isle getting snicker ice cream bars. Of course having my boyfriend with when shopping helps....he pulls me away....lol. Now, with less than a month to go I barely think about those foods, THANK GOD! But yes, I do have moments where I think i'm a failure for not doing this on my own. for asking myself if there's something wrong with me because my family is so opposed to this. But I just remind myself why i'm doing this and it passes.

mine is July 2nd. I'm nervous about some things, disappointed at some of the people that wont support me, but overall extremely excited. I can't wait for July 2nd to be here! I stay busy at work so I don't think about it much there. but it's constantly on my mind when i'm at home. my boyfriend keeps me busy so it's not too bad. i've become obsessed with this website though.

ChristyLove....it may just depend on the community your in? I have several african-american friends that know i'm going for this and they are supportive of it. not sure if that's because i'm white? Ssilian....I agree, I have stopped telling people. although my best friend, my boyfriend, and the 8 co-workers that know are very supportive my entire family is not. Mom even told me that if she could come over and FORCE me not to do it she would. I'm 36 years old. it's my body, my decision, my health. Although it hurts to not have their support I am not going to let that stop me. If I do it will be me who suffers for it. Basically I would recommend that you keep in mind why it is you are doing this in the first place. when people are negative to me I remind myself that i'm doing this for my health. I already have IBS, GERD, Swollen legs, Arthritis throughout my body, A hearniated disc and another that is bone on bone in my lower spine, and now my hips and both knees are starting to give me major problems. it's to the point that I cannot do any exercise and have an extremely hard time getting up the stairs to my apartment. And i'm pretty sure it's making my depression, anxiety, and even my bipolar worse. So long story short, i'm doing this for my health....before my body kills me! To me that is the strongest motivator and the best reason to be doing this. Stay strong, you can do this! And you can always find the support you need here, i have

I’ve been getting prepared for my pre-op diet and I’m having a problem. All of the flavored protein powders have artificial sweetners which I cannot have. No stevia, no sucralose, no aspartame. The non-flavored ones are disgusting, including unjury. I tried putting them in zero water but it was too sweet and the stevia gave me a headache. Most of the pre-made shakes have artificial sweetners as well. Any suggestions?

they want me to limit the sugar for 2 weeks prior to the surgery so I cant have regular sugar. truvia is a ragweed? no wonder I'm alergic to it!!! update: they approved me for specific foods (no deviations from it) for the two week pre-diet. we'll have to figure out something for afterwards. If I can tolerate all the liquids i'll need then I can have the boost high Protein that I've found to be able to tolerate. probably because it has regular sugar and not the artificial stuff. i'll add in some milk for "variety." i'm going to try and find those liquid Proteins at the Vitamin store so we'll see what happens there, maybe they will work and I can get more variety there too.

MinaT -- I have contacted my doctor, waiting for the dietician to call me back. I understand that most of them taste gross but I cannot live with headaches for 14 days, i'd never stick to it. so hoping someone out there has some suggestions I haven't thought of yet....or that my doctor can help me. Grateful Heart -- I agree that they don't keep you feeling full, but unfortunately I have to do a 14 day liquid diet before the surgery and they are very strict as to what you can/can't drink during that time. If you remember the name of that liquid Protein please let me know. maybe i'll stop at a health/vitamin store this weekend and check things out.

so the clinic gave me my pre-op diet that I have to start 14 days before surgery. I am allergic to all artificial sweetners so I can't have most of the stuff they normally tell their patients to have. aspartame gives me migranes and has a nasty after taste. sucrolous makes me live on the toilet. I can have a small amount but not in the quantity I need to take in the pre-op and post-op liquid diets. I have a feeling that when this is all over I will never want to eat these foods again! breakfast: Protein powder mixed with milk and 1/2 cup nsa applesauce snack: 1 cup V8 Lunch: Protein Powder mixed in Water snack: protein powder in milk and a cheese stick Dinner: protein powder in milk and 1 cup chicken broth snack: 1/2 cup nsa applesauce and 1 hard boiled egg they did say that I actually should drink 2.5 cups of broth each day in order to get enough sodium. I'm on lithium, so I need a higher salt intake than others would. will probably add 1 cup of broth for lunch since i'll be doing most of these meals at work. I did try unjury, which does have sucralose. it's really good, but afraid it will bother me eventually. have a few more samples so we'll see. ugh! can't wait for this to be all over so that I can just eat normal foods!

pennie....that was the best answer i've heard yet to the negativity i've gotten for wanting to get sleeved! I too have family completely against me and am finding support and friends here. TY everyone

at least it was a stranger and not your own family!

I've had 8 months of supervised diet and exercise. by the time I start my pre-op diet it will be 9 months. been a long road, but so excited to have it within sight now. Hurry up July 2nd!!!!