ConductorCaroline

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Yep....I've tried tons of diets.....since I was 11....yes.....11 years old.[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Yep....I do exercise, though not religiously and not enough. [/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Nope...I don't sit around eating cakes and pizza or snack on bowls of [/font][url="http://www.dixiecrystalssugar.com/"][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Dixie Crystals[/font][/url][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif].[/font]

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[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I am not a "grazer". (don't you love the world map on this cow, LOL!)[/font]

[font=Arial][b]Weight Watchers?[/b] [i]Yes, twice[/i]. [b]Low Carb?[/b] [i]Yes[/i]. [b]Medi-fast?[/b] [i]Yep. Even Opti-fast and 4 months of eating ONLY puddings (blech).[/i] [b]Slim-fast?[/b] [i]Of course[/i]. [b]Salads only?[/b] [i]Yes[/i]. [/font]

[font=Arial][b]Exercising with all or some of these?[/b] [i]Yes: in recently years, just walking, but previously, I'd walk 3X per week and play tennis 2X each week. I used to be on a swim team (and won awards!) and I used to train racehorses (In SC, but for the Hialeah race track in Fla.) As a teen, I biked 20 miles per day.[/i][/font]

[font=Arial]The most successful thing I ever did was exercise and eat a healthy diet of only about 1200 -1600 calories per day and I would stop eating after 2:00 p.m. every day for a year and a half. I lost 37 lbs. I could not keep that going. Another time I lost weight were when I was hospitalized for food poisoning. Not the most glamorous way to shed lbs. and certainly not on purpose.[/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]My doc says I am very healthy. The last six times they took my blood pressure, it was 110/65. A couple of times, including today, it was 102/65. That doesn't mean too much, but it's not an unhealthy pressure. I admit, sometimes, I do eat the wrong things and I eat late sometimes and ok, I don't eat enough fruit. [i]I have a feeling that I'm not the only one.[/i] So why should it make me so unsuccessful? [/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]You know what though? It's BIGGER than that. This is a real problem I've struggled with since I was eleven. I'm 41 now so that makes 30 years of my life that I have been disapponted with myself 90% of the time for something that I have come to believe is honestly related, in part, to my heredity. Why is it a problem if I'm healthy in spite of the weight? It has taken its toll psychologically and emotionally at times. Some of you have walked this road. Some of you haven't, but you do understand it. I will add that having experienced real examples of being considered less important, less attractive, and less intelligent by members of the general populus creates a root system of social anxiety that grows into a giant tree of debilitating branches. It causes low self worth which then fuels more branches. Sometimes, people seeing the low self worth part, do not fully understand the origins and they want to help, but assume it can be done easily or dismissed with a pleasant or supportive comment. Those help, but it's harder than that. Working on the fundamental problem is necessary and can be done in many ways, but it is a process. I'm happy to say that, believe it or not, I've overcome much of this through success in grad school and life and have a fantastic career and am a happy person! Still, WLS is part of my personal process at this stage in my life and I am looking forward to this journey![/font]

[url="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002194/"][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Diabetes[/font][/url][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]. I am extremely worried that this will be my fate unless I do something more drastic than dieting and exercise. To again be clear, I have no medical issues except morbidly obesity.......[i][b]yet[/b][/i]. So, after 12 years of loosely thinking about and then dismissing weight loss surgery, mostly due to lack of funds, I have spent the last one and a half years, significantly studying, discussing, thinking about, and pursuing this option. The decision to move forward came after two major efforts which were, sadly, ineffective. The first, was the eight weeks I spent abroad and teaching for UNO in [/font][url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Innsbruck"][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Innsbruck, Austria[/font][/url][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]. The second was becoming a patient of [/font][url="http://www.theaspenclinic.com/"][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The Aspen Clinic[/font][/url][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] in Metairie, LA. [/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]While in Austria, I ate the free cafeteria lunch that came and I shopped for veggies and soups from the market. Occasionally, a pizza was had because it was thin, and cheap. I walked a mile to and a mile from the university and almost every day, walked several more miles while exploring the city. One trek had me hiking the [/font][url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obergurgl"][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Obergurgl[/font][/url][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] glacier which was eight miles for that day - a fairly decent portion of which was UP . On my weekends in Italy, all I did was walk constantly, take pictures, and swim. That was a personal rule of mine -"don't stay at this B&B unless it has a pool." [/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I lost one pound. [i]ONE[/i]. The Aspen Clinic had me on an appetite surpressant and I only took it because while I was already eating a balanced caloric intake w/ colorful fruits & veggies and exercising on my [/font][url="http://www.nordictrack.com/"][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]treadmill[/font][/url][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif], I was hoping that it would make me forget to eat and that I would drop pounds as all the hype led me to believe. WRONG. I lost nine pounds in six months. I had lost more weight than that before....what was different? My age....I'm fairly certain. So, after those two experiences, I gave up again and when I say that, I mean [size=5][b]G A V E U P[/b][/size].[/font]

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[i][b][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I decided in May 2011 that I really wanted to go for it. [/font][/b][/i]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]So, I attended a great Bariatric Seminar at a local hospital. They were very nice and it was informative. I was shocked at how many people were there. There were some for whom I realized this surgery would be a life-saving event. I kept the information, but did not follow up with them right away because of the high cost. [/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Summer came and went. I read [i][u]Mindful Eating[/u][/i] by Jan Bays. I read blog after blog. I read articles and websites. Then, in the fall, I started talking more about it with friends from far and near who have had various weight loss surgeries. I learned lots of practical things related to surgery and recovery that I hope to work through at some point.[/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Some of the blogs I like are: [/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The Incredible Shrinking Girl [/font][url="http://incredibleshrinkinggirl.com/"][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]http://incredibleshrinkinggirl.com/[/font][/url][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] and [/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Living After Weight Loss Surgery [/font][url="http://livingafterwls.blogspot.com/"][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]http://livingafterwls.blogspot.com/[/font][/url][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] [/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I have found HUNDREDS of blogs about people's personal journey with WLS. I thought to myself: "Why not?!" [/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]In February 2012, I made the second part of the decision to have weight loss surgery (WLS). Want to know what that part is? It's [i]commitment[/i]. When I say this, I mean commitment in the sense of a deep, abiding, personal dedication to the preparation, process, and life afterwards. In the next WLS-specific post, I will share my experiences of Insurance-land and finding the right surgeon. This is a work in progress, but I thought I'd start now with writing about it! Even after all the blogs, articles, and online diaries I've read from others talking about their journeys, I'm at a loss at exactly how to start talking about it......[/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Some of my close friends who have had weight loss surgery have helped me - a LOT and I am eternally grateful to them. I will need their encouragement and that of my other friends through the coming months.[/font]


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