BlessedBeyondMeasure2012

So I had a rough weekend. I got to add soft food to my diet on Friday. One would think that after three weeks of not eating any "real" food that it would be great, and it was! I got up on Saturday and I was up a pound from where I was Friday morning. Now, I know that my body is saying "Hey! I finally got some food, I need to hang on to it cause I don't know when I'll get the next round," and that is why the scales haven't been really nice this weekend. I still am bouncing around the same stupid half pound since Friday and its just frustrating. In my "previous life" I would have been irritated and just eaten something that I shouldn't have to justify the increase on the scales. Now, I didn't do anything or eat anything I shouldn't have but, boy, did I have a battle with head hunger all weekend. One of my favorite places to eat used to be Moe's, my husband has never really cared for it and I think that we have eaten there together just once in the past 5 years. Yesterday I had to run across town and what does he ask me to bring him back for supper?? MOE'S!! i couldn't believe it and it just plain made me mad when I had to go in there and order his burrito. I wanted one so bad but instead, I ordered his just like he asked (with absolutely nothing that could be considered healthy on it) and brought it home to him. I fixed my supper and was satisfied with it. My dad used to say that it didn't matter if you got full off of black eyed peas or steak and potatoes either way you were still full. That is very true, steak and potatoes just taste much better, as would have Moe's last night. Anyway, I needed something to take my mind off of the negative and I figured I'd list the NSV's that I could think of to lift my spirits a little
 
1. I can get my wedding rings on again, I haven't been able to wear them individually since last June and it has probably been more than a year since I have been able to get both of them on at the same time.
 
2. I already have a pair of pants that are too big and I can no longer wear (at least my husband refuses to be seen in public with me if I do!)
 
3. Its easier to shave my arm pits cause they aren't so full.
 
4. I can bend over to paint my own toe nails again!
 
5. The seatbelt in my husbands truck doesn't lock just because I'm trying to put it on and pulled it out a little too far anymore. I can actually bend down and pick my purse up from the floorboard and it doesn't lock!
 
6. I can put on and tie my shoes with almost no effort.
 
7. I have bad breath. (Okay so maybe that one isn't so exciting but apparently when you are breaking down fat you get ketosis which causes halitosis aka bad breath. I must be doing good breaking it down cause even my 5 year old tells me my breath is stinky! LOL!)
 
I know there are more but these are all I can think of right now. I'm going to keep working at it and keep working my tool. I know that I did the right thing and I know that I'll be able to eat more normally again some day. I did this for my kids and they are going to have a more amazing mom because of it.

HEY there!
 
i am 3 weeks and 4 days out from surgery... and on a stall! i know to be positive and everything, but i just want to be like SERIOUSLY!!!!! i can see it in the tummy that its going down, i know the inches are because i put 3 pairs of jeans in the cant wear bag that needs to goto the donate pile...
 
i joined a slowpitch softball team that plays on sundays and this last sunday was the first game... wow its been 12 years since HS and i sure can tell... i needed a roll cart with air for sure!!!! i have been going to the gym.... DAMN
 
i was so excited to start tho... i get up to bat and totally nerves set in like **** what did i get myself into... i am going to kill myself, but licky me i have insurance lol... well its slow pitch so the ball is no faster than a third grader playing... YEAHHHH!!!! i slam the ball out in the left feild (or i think that is what it was i have forgotten how sad) i was like HELL YEAH the guy dropped it! haha sucker, so i hall off to 1st... as i am running, i start having the running farts like i seriously was farting going to first!!!!!! PRAYING no one heard me lol... pants are able to fall down i was just so excited to get to first! i made it!!!! but then got out at 2nd the next batter...
 
hahah hope you have had a good laugh now!!!!
 
but i am stalling scale has not moved in a week but that is okay... i keep plugging away and going to the gym... i wanted to cheat and not go yesterday but made myself go and was so glad i did!

It seems there is always an excuse not to go to the gym. I'm tired, I don't have clothes, I forgot my shoes, I have to cook dinner, I have to go to the store etc.
 
I have been fairly successful at being consistent with my gym goings. I didn't plan all the things I do...I sort of just fell into it, but these are my tips for making sure the gym (exercise) is part of my day.
 
1. I practically live in gym clothes. I know it isn't feasible for everyone, but I can wear it to work. The gym I go to is across of my job. I live about a 20 minute drive from my job and gym. Every morning I wake up I put on my gym clothes that way I am ready! I sometimes go before work and sometimes after.
 
2. I plan my exercises for the morning time before I have anything going on. It leaves less excuses if I can do it and get it out of the way. I still have the "I'm tired" excuse, but I push through it.
 
3. My car is like a tank. I could survive in there! I have my workout shoes, extra pairs of socks, bottles of water, vitamins, protein bars, workout towels. I never "forget" anything because it is already stock piled in my car.
 
4. Goals! I am a very goal oriented individual. Each day I am at the gym I envision myself doing something faster, better, longer the next time I hit that machine.

Hit another milestone this morning Down 60# since my surgery, 75# total...it's amazing to look back through pictures and see the transformation that I've made. I'm so much happier than I used to be. I'm more active, I'm more outgoing- and everything I do- I realize I do with more pep in my step, more sparkle in my eye- and just generally more enjoyment and appreciation. This is without a doubt the best decision I've ever made for myself. Hope you all are doing just as well!!!!

When I started talking about having the sleeve done my sister also started talking about it. She is over weight and has been for most of her adult life just like myself. She is 5 years older than I am but is about 5 inches shorter. She has been my little big sister for many years. Well, she has had a couple of c-sections, laproscopic gall bladder surgery and a robotic hysterectomy and was concerned that she may have adhesions that would cause problems for a sleeve surgery. She talked herself out of the surgery and out of looking into it anymore than what she already had, which wasn't much but still. Well, I've now lost 102 pounds and she has gained about 20 in that same amount of time. She asked me this weekend if I thought she would be crazy to have it done. I was so excited! I have been wanting to encourage her to have the surgery but knew she was afraid to. She talked with her husband and he is supportive too! My prayer for her is that if she is supposed to have it done that God will put her infront of the right surgeon. She lives away from me so will be using someone other than the surgeon that did mine. I am so excited for her and that we could be doing this together. She is one of my best friends and is one of my biggest encouragers. I can't wait for the opportunity to be the same for her!

Source: Sweets, Snacks, Sneaks And Lies
 
This isn't my blog entry.....but it's so wonderfully written and inspiring, I am adding it to my blog so I know where to find it again.....Thank you WriterGirl!

For the last three weeks I've felt a little blah - well a lot blah. I have MS and unfortunately had a relapse. For those of you who don't know - that means going on IV steroids - the very ugly little suckers that made me gain all this weight in the first place. I usually gain 10-15 lbs during the time I am on steroids. Well, I am happy to report from the other side and tell you that I actually lost 4 lbs this past week while on the steroids! I absolutely LOVE my sleeve! I did have some wacky food cravings - but found that I could eat so little that it wasn't hard at all not to gain weight.
 
The second cool thing - today I wore to work the suit I was wearing on 9-11-2001! Seriously?!?!?! And what is even better is that it looks awesome! There are a couple of pieces of clothing that I have kept over the years - mostly for sentimental value - but I always said I was going to wear them again when I lost weight. I cannot believe that it is actually happening!
 

 
6 month face progression...So amazingly happy!

I feel great physically. Emotionally, still struggling. I am definitely a food addict. I had no idea. In my mind, I catch myself thinking about food....like all the time. I miss cheese crackers, popcorn at the movies, toast and bacon. I miss sharing a cookie with the grand baby. I miss trips with the kids to Braums ice cream. I long for a Dairy Queen chocolate malt. Furthermore, i crave McDonald's french fries and homemade brownies. I cannot wait to eat a ribeye and baked potato (just a bite). You get the picture. I am in detox with a full, unlocked liquor cabinet in front of me. (Actually the food pantry...)
 
I took the kids to see Monster's University and knew it would be hard, but had no idea how hard. The smell of hot buttered popcorn assaulted me before I even entered the door. It threw me to the floor like a rag doll. I fought it, yelling and screaming. We drew quite a large crowd, that deadly aroma and me. The mouth watering scent drug me across the floor to the concession stand. I fought so hard I left claw marks in the tile. I gathered myself, stood up, smiled at the young woman with her mouth gaping and ordered a LARGE popcorn and 2 large cokes. As she placed the humongous container of butter dripping popcorn on the counter, I grabbed it and slung it at my children before I changed me mind. Whew! My stomach growled the entire movie like I hadn't eaten in weeks. Oh, maybe because I HAVEN'T! I quietly drank my water and watched the movie. I survived! I did it!
 
Last night, I found myself in the emergency room with a friend. I brought my water and some baby food but didn't plan on camping out for hours. I knew I had to have something. I sniffed out the vending machines hoping to find something edible for me. I dreaded the sight of Reese's peanut butter cups, snickers, cinnamon rolls and chips. My mind kept screaming that peanut butter is high in protein and soft, hence the peanut butter cups would be the best choice. It sounded reasonable to me. Once I located the vending machines, I stood frozen in shock. EVERYTHING in the machine was healthy or relatively healthy. Not even a hint of chocolate was to be found. I opted for a 100 calorie breakfast thin thing. I chewed it like it was leather so not to disturb my stomach. I survived.
 
I am still refusing to allow bacon to be cooked in my house. I think I would go into convulsions. There is a no baking anything sweet ban till further notice as well. My 12 year old asked me today, "How much longer are you on this diet?" I just smiled and hugged him.
 
Signing off till next time!
 
Judy

I can cross my legs while sitting.
 
I stood up at church to pray, bowed my head and realized that all I could see was my boobs....no belly sticking out further than my boobs!
 
The steering wheel can be lowered while I drive.
 
I walked 3/4 of a mile today without panting and thinking I was having a heart attack.
 
I make still look like Shamu but I am feeling like Flipper!

Yesterday was my day, I was on point with my inner skinny girl.
 
I found a dress that did not cling to all of my rolls, it just fell across the body. Not to brag but I looked good, I even rocked my 4 inch sandals! I received so many complements, all the while I as thinking, "Wait til ya see m 100 pounds lighter".
 
To have been successful in keeping the 25 pounds I lost off and working successfully to have more off with weekly excerise classes has been a blessing.
 
Mind you I have no desire to wear skinny girl jeans, but I am looking forward to adjusting my wardrobe. I striveto have a day like yesterday once a week, especially since my clothes are fitting better it should work.
 
Continued success to everyone on this journey.
 
Karen

I am so happy that I had the sleeve surgery. My life changed almost immediately. I got rid of the C-pak machine for my sleep apnea and no longer take high blood pressure meds! My knees and feet no longer ache from the 207 pounds I was carrying around. And I have discovered that I am tolerating the climate heat like never before. I have actually worked in my flower beds this summer! I am 9 months out from my surgery, weigh 149 ( down 58 pounds)! I want to lose another 14 pounds. My weight loss has been on a stall but I understand what is happening and I am staying on course with exercise and diet. I know that weight loss will continue with my efforts. This experience has been a miracle for me. I just wanted to feel better! My energy level is astonishing! I am loving my sleeve! No regrets at all! It was an answer to a prayer for me!

Week 1 on my high protein low carb eating plan and exercising 6 days a week. I had been having really bad issues with being extremely hungry at night so I told myself this past week i was going to work on kicking that to the curb. I ate dinner a little later one night that worked, I took a 1/2 protein shot one night and that worked and then I cleaned a few nights and kept myself busy by doing my nails and that also worked. All week I didn't snack or eat crazy stuff after the girls went down. So problem being worked on and I think solved. Thank you to all who responded to my post on the forum your suggestions and comments helped ALOT.
Now also my weekends are horrible my husband is home wants to go out to eat all weekend and weekends sabotage my hardwork from the week so this weekend If we went out I really thought hard about what I was ordering and tried to order healthy all the time. We ate out 3 x's first time was Wendy's so I got a grilled chicken wrap and side salad, 2nd was Chili's and I got a low calorie meal and replaced my rice with brocolli so I had chicken , black beans and Broccoli, the 3rd time was the hardest - Popeyes- I took the skin off the chicken and heated up my left over black beans from the previous night. I did have a biscuit but I made sure to work out after dinner so I could burn some calories. All in all it was the BEST weekend I have had so far!!!! I even made cinnamon buns for my girls on Saturday morning and didn't have any. I figure I am going to have to cook stuff I can't have and what a better time to start working on controlling myself from eating it but now.
So all my hardwork paid off and I was down 5.2 lbs this morning. I was so excited to see it working and I also feel great, more energized and alive. I can always start doing the healthy things but some where down the line i always fall off and gain it all back. This time knowing my Sleeve is just around the corner 42 days to be exact to stop that from happening has me smiling , I can see myself healthy again!!! Can't wait.

http://www.stuff.co....r-says-shes-fat
 
Dear Mum,
 
I was seven when I discovered that you were fat, ugly and horrible. Up until that point I had believed that you were beautiful - in every sense of the word. I remember flicking through old photo albums and staring at pictures of you standing on the deck of a boat. Your white strapless bathing suit looked so glamorous, just like a movie star. Whenever I had the chance I'd pull out that wondrous white bathing suit hidden in your bottom drawer and imagine a time when I'd be big enough to wear it; when I'd be like you.
But all of that changed when, one night, we were dressed up for a party and you said to me, ''Look at you, so thin, beautiful and lovely. And look at me, fat, ugly and horrible.''
At first I didn't understand what you meant.
''You're not fat,'' I said earnestly and innocently, and you replied, ''Yes I am, darling. I've always been fat; even as a child.''
 
In the days that followed I had some painful revelations that have shaped my whole life. I learned that:
1. You must be fat because mothers don't lie.
2. Fat is ugly and horrible.
3. When I grow up I'll look like you and therefore I will be fat, ugly and horrible too.
Years later, I looked back on this conversation and the hundreds that followed and cursed you for feeling so unattractive, insecure and unworthy. Because, as my first and most influential role model, you taught me to believe the same thing about myself.
With every grimace at your reflection in the mirror, every new wonder diet that was going to change your life, and every guilty spoon of ''Oh-I-really-shouldn't'', I learned that women must be thin to be valid and worthy. Girls must go without because their greatest contribution to the world is their physical beauty.
 
Just like you, I have spent my whole life feeling fat. When did fat become a feeling anyway? And because I believed I was fat, I knew I was no good.
But now that I am older, and a mother myself, I know that blaming you for my body hatred is unhelpful and unfair. I now understand that you too are a product of a long and rich lineage of women who were taught to loathe themselves.
Look at the example Nanna set for you. Despite being what could only be described as famine-victim chic, she dieted every day of her life until the day she died at 79 years of age. She used to put on make-up to walk to the letterbox for fear that somebody might see her unpainted face.
 
I remember her ''compassionate'' response when you announced that Dad had left you for another woman. Her first comment was, ''I don't understand why he'd leave you. You look after yourself, you wear lipstick. You're overweight - but not that much.''
Before Dad left, he provided no balm for your body-image torment either.
 
''Jesus, Jan,'' I overheard him say to you. ''It's not that hard. Energy in versus energy out. If you want to lose weight you just have to eat less.''
That night at dinner I watched you implement Dad's ''Energy In, Energy Out: Jesus, Jan, Just Eat Less'' weight-loss cure. You served up chow mein for dinner. (Remember how in 1980s Australian suburbia, a combination of mince, cabbage, and soy sauce was considered the height of exotic gourmet?) Everyone else's food was on a dinner plate except yours. You served your chow mein on a tiny bread-and-butter plate.
As you sat in front of that pathetic scoop of mince, silent tears streamed down your face. I said nothing. Not even when your shoulders started heaving from your distress. We all ate our dinner in silence. Nobody comforted you. Nobody told you to stop being ridiculous and get a proper plate. Nobody told you that you were already loved and already good enough. Your achievements and your worth - as a teacher of children with special needs and a devoted mother of three of your own - paled into insignificance when compared with the centimetres you couldn't lose from your waist.
 
It broke my heart to witness your despair and I'm sorry that I didn't rush to your defence. I'd already learned that it was your fault that you were fat. I'd even heard Dad describe losing weight as a ''simple'' process - yet one that you still couldn't come to grips with. The lesson: you didn't deserve any food and you certainly didn't deserve any sympathy.
 
But I was wrong, Mum. Now I understand what it's like to grow up in a society that tells women that their beauty matters most, and at the same time defines a standard of beauty that is perpetually out of our reach. I also know the pain of internalising these messages. We have become our own jailors and we inflict our own punishments for failing to measure up.
 
No one is crueler to us than we are to ourselves.
But this madness has to stop, Mum. It stops with you, it stops with me and it stops now. We deserve better - better than to have our days brought to ruin by bad body thoughts, wishing we were otherwise.
 
And it's not just about you and me any more. It's also about Violet. Your granddaughter is only 3 and I do not want body hatred to take root inside her and strangle her happiness, her confidence and her potential. I don't want Violet to believe that her beauty is her most important asset; that it will define her worth in the world. When Violet looks to us to learn how to be a woman, we need to be the best role models we can. We need to show her with our words and our actions that women are good enough just the way they are. And for her to believe us, we need to believe it ourselves.
 
The older we get, the more loved ones we lose to accidents and illness. Their passing is always tragic and far too soon. I sometimes think about what these friends - and the people who love them - wouldn't give for more time in a body that was healthy. A body that would allow them to live just a little longer. The size of that body's thighs or the lines on its face wouldn't matter. It would be alive and therefore it would be perfect.
Your body is perfect too. It allows you to disarm a room with your smile and infect everyone with your laugh. It gives you arms to wrap around Violet and squeeze her until she giggles. Every moment we spend worrying about our physical ''flaws'' is a moment wasted, a precious slice of life that we will never get back.
 
Let us honour and respect our bodies for what they do instead of despising them for how they appear. Focus on living healthy and active lives, let our weight fall where it may, and consign our body hatred in the past where it belongs. When I looked at that photo of you in the white bathing suit all those years ago, my innocent young eyes saw the truth. I saw unconditional love, beauty and wisdom. I saw my Mum.
Love, Kasey xx
 
This is an excerpt from Dear Mum, a collection of letters from Australian sporting stars, musicians, models, cooks and authors revealing what they would like to say to their mothers before it's too late, or would have said if only they'd had the chance.
All royalties go to the National Breast Cancer Foundation. Published by Random House and available now.

I have completed 19 weeks of life after a sleeve gastrectomy. I am soooo happy I had this surgery and so far - I have no regrets.
 
I have lost 87 pounds in 19 weeks. I truly believe that I could never have lost this amount of weight without the surgery.
 
Life is better. In many ways. However, my husband and I need to readjust our relationship a bit. I think after a little more time we should
 
work out our issues. I want my weight to get to 140 pounds. So I have about 38 pounds to go and it feels so attainable.
 
I know I will reach that goal. And it won't be long. My personal goal is to reach that weight by the end of summer. I have June, July,
 
and August. So - I will lose 12.5 pounds each month. And this fall I will be living a dream come true. 140 pounds. WOW.
 
I don't have too much loose skin yet. My arms are seeing the worst of it -and it really is not too bad yet. And---it is way
 
more awesome than having fat arms.

Ahh, progress. We have a new supermarket in my neighborhood. It is beautiful, brightly lit, with almost anything you could want, from artisan bread to flat screen TVs.
 
And as with all businesses, they are doing everything they can to make the shopping experience as awesome as possible.
 
But they may have jumped the shark on this one:
 
There is automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh and pretty. Just before it goes on, you hear distant thunder and smell fresh rain.
 
When you pass the fruits, you smell fresh cut apples and peaches.
 
When you pass the vegetables, you smell hot buttered corn on the cob.
 
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.
 
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks and sausages.
 
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
 
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.
 
I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

Prior to surgery I made a list of my non scale victories (NSV) on my iPhone but somehow erased them. So I decided to make a new list. I'll be adding to this as I come up with new ones.
 
 
Buy clothes from a non-plus size store
Purchase bra/panty from Victoria Secret
Get a makeover
Take boudior photos for my honey
Maybe wear a pair of heels
Ride a roller coaster
Walk/run in a marathon
Not be considered obese
Not be afraid to wear a bathing suit
Fit comfortably in a booth at a restaurant
Own and ride a bike (especially long distance)
Go zip-lining
Always use the stairs
Go cart racing
Dance in public
Sit at a regular desk (in school)
Finish my degree
Go to law school
Volunteer work
Plant a garden/landscape yard
Attend Zumba regularly
Incorporate clean eating in my new lifestyle
Stand on my feet longer than 30 minutes

I've finally completed all of my insurance req's and am now awaiting approval. Since I've completed my requirements I guess this entire process has become really 'real' to me and it scared me. I kept asking myself if I really NEEDED this surgery...why couldn't I lose wieght on my own? Am I being lazy and taking the easy way out? Is it worth putting myself under the knife and having major surgery when I'm already too lazy to eat right and exercise? Am I wasting my family's money by having surgery? etc, etc, etc.
Well tonight my sweet 5 year old ittle girl innocently made a statement that first broke my heart and then made me realize without a doubt this surgery is the right thing for me.
We were driving home and she asked what would happen if I started to drown (We have a pool and swim a lot. I used to teach swim lessons and water safety, so water safety is REALLY important to me). I said, "Well, if I was truly drowning and couldn't get out, hopefully someone would help me out of the water." She replied (Here's where my heart broke...) "But Mommy, you're so big. How would they be able to pull you out? You're too heavy." And THEN she tried to backtrack...that broke my heart even more. She shouldn't have to worry about what she says to me and if it hurts my feelings. She shouldn't have to try to change what she said to make me feel better - - she's FIVE!
AND THAT DID IT FOLKS. I almost broke down in tears right there in my car. I can hide from cameras, I can hide from the mirror. I can ignore the fact that my clothes are too tight I can hardly zip my pants. I can look past my double chin. I can choose to not look at my stretch marks. I can ignore being breathless just from walking from my car to my house. I can not pay attention to the fact that I now have to undo my top button to my jeans when sitting at my desk because it is digging in to my stomach. I can pop another blood pressure pill and ignore my high blood pressure...
But I cannot ignore the fact that my kids notice I'm overweight and that kills me. I guess up until then I knew I was wayyyyy too heavy but since no one else would address it I could go on my merry-way and ignore it. But there's no ignoring it anymore. I have to do something more powerful than myself so that I can stop living a hollow life and stop living in the shadows, hoping no one addresses the fact that I am unhealthy. The heck with the fact that I am so unattractive anymore, I am unhealthy and am not the role model that my kids deserve.
So I'm having this surgery.
I don't care how it happens, I need this surgery. I need to lose weight. I need to get healthy. I need to start caring about myself. I need to start caring about my family and their future - - with ME in it.

Ok, I might get blackballed and lose my MAN CARD for admitting this, but here goes. I was cleaning out the closet, looking for smaller pants to wear. I started rummaging for something that would fit, found a nice pair to try on. They were a PERFECT fit, better than any pants I've put on. Looked good in the mirror too! All that walking is shaping my butt up! Did I really say that last line?
 
Up till recently, you could lean me up against a flat wall and there’d be no gaps anywhere from the top of my back to my calves. My butt was so flat… How flat was it? It was often mistaken for an end table when I lay on the floor.
 
I looked at the tags only to find that they weren’t men’s pants at all - but a ladies size 16 that got left behind from a previous girlfriend! They must’ve mistakenly gotten mixed in with the tons of other pants and shirts that were put in the “I’ll be able to wear that again someday,” wishful thinking pile.
 
For the MAN Committee, I know you have no knowledge of this, but, a 16 is the 1X Women's Plus Size according to Overstock.com. And I DID have to look that up; it didn’t come from memory or previous experience wearing women’s clothing! (So MAN Committee, please take that into account when voting.)
 
This means that I now have the body of a woman with voluptuous hips!
 
P.S. Blackball or not, I'm KEEPING the pants!!
 
Keep Pimpin that sleeve!

I've finally broken my stall after almost 2 weeks, and have lost a lb. a day for the past 3 days! I knew it had to end eventually, and tried not to stress about it, but it was hard! I'm now 224, 50 lbs from my top weight of 274. So excited!

Hi, Why are you still sitting out there waiting to have surgery. I know for many, it is the fear off failing just one more time. I felt like that too, and I want you to know that "sleeve" surgery was the ONLY thing that has ever worked for me. I had it over 4 1/2 years ago and I lost 105 pounds and I have kept it off. STOP giving days of your life away. Make the choice to do something that is going to save your life. I am always here if you have any questions. Do something NOW, and I promise you, that you will never have any regrets

9 weeks post op and I didn't lose any weight this week. But it's all good! I have been hitting the gym pretty hard so I'm good with no loss. My pants are loser and I definitely feel better!
 
I'm trying to get to the gym at least 5 days a week. I'm doing 3 days of swimming laps and 2 days of cardio (as in eliptical or treadmill) and weights. Then in addition to the planned days I'm also taking the kids over to the gym on the weekends to swim so I'm getting additional activity that way. AND my stepdaughter is doing the P90X ab workout, so she's got me doing what I can on that. (It's pretty ugly, but I'm trying)
 
My husband decided he needed to keep up with me. So he started going to the gym with me a couple days a week and cut out his sugary treats...and in one week HE lost 7#!!! Isn't that the way it always works?? I'm working my butt off and he just cuts back and loses! LOL...
 
 
Heaviest Weight: 281
3/6/13 Surgery: 257 (-24)
3/13/13: 251 (-6)
3/20/13: 245 (-6)
3/28/13: 238 (-7)
4/3/13: 238 (-0)
FIRST MONTH -19#
4/10/13: 237 (-1)
4/17/13: 235 (-2)
4/24/13: 233 (-2)
5/2/13: 229 (-4)
SECOND MONTH -9#
5/8/13: 229 (-0)

This is going to be a GREAT day! My daughter, Makenna had a hard time getting to sleep last night so I was up until about 12:30 because of her. Then my husband who has been also trying to get his weight under control woke me up around 4 this morning while he gets ready to go for a bike ride... My response to that was "could you take some of this new found energy you have and fix the toilet seat?!" I am not a helpless woman, I do a lot of the fixing up around here myself, but for the LIFE of me I can not get the darn toilet seat to tighten up so that when you sit on it it doesn't FLOP to one side! If he were to wake me at 4 AM because he was fixing the toilet, I would be less likely to complain about it. At least I woke up feeling better today, my sinus infection may actually be clearing up!
So I wake up, I grab my dog. I have two Pomeranians, a male name Optimus Prime and a female named Vidia. They are very important to me and I am sure I will mention them more. My little Vidia is only about 4.5# and she loves to cuddle with me in the morning while I have coffee. So I grabbed my Vidia and head to the kitchen for coffee. I get about half way through making my coffee when my daughter comes out and she has so much energy! She is jumping around, twirling her dress! I tell her to come to me so I can fix her hair and she hops over to me with big smiles and giggles. Nothing starts your day off better than a happy little girl! I begin fixing her hair and I ask her what has made her so happy this morning. She yells out "We are going to the circus!!!"
Then her twin brother, Ethan comes into the conversation. He too was excited, the two of them start talking about what is at the circus. Mind you, neither one of them has ever been this will be their first time. In my last marriage, my husband never held a job and I rarely had any money to do anything. So Ethan says that he thinks there will be clowns, balloons, and lions. Makenna says there will be zebras, tigers and camels! I add in that there will be elephants too!! Ethan gets a very worried look on his face and says to me "I hope we don't step in elephant poop mommy!" Let me tell ya, the thought had never really crossed my mind before then, but I sure hope we don't either!
After I sent the kids off on the bus I got to thinking about that statement and I laughed, but also I learned a lesson from it. I have spent the past two or three days stuck in a negative funk about my decisions for surgery and really the things that got me in that negative place are just as relevant as the idea of stepping in elephant poop. Its so unlikely to happen and if I just keep my eyes open, stay on the clear path its highly unlikely I should suffer such misfortune!
Just to prove my point, I stepped on my scale and I have made it to 300.0! I can't wait to see that wonderful 200 range again! So my plan for the day is to remain positive, to love my family, enjoy the circus and to stay clear of elephant poop!

I was really struggling with the dissapointment yet again, i just sat and poured my heart out to the lord, and said i give up, i cant do this anymore, you take it lord, and then just got on with living. 2 days ago i got a phone call to say that they knew how upset i was and they have juggled everything around and i have a new earlier date, sun19th may, first thing, i also found out that my old scales were saying i was a stone lighter that what i thought, normally they would cancell due to this, but they are overlooking the weight gain,God knew that and has worked this for my good, totally in awe of God and so gratefull, now i start my liver shrinking diet again on sat and cant wait to start, knowing that its going to happen this time, xx

Ok here we go!! My sugery is two weeks from today and I am starting my own version of the Pre-Op diet!! If anyone has read my previous entries you will know that I decided to start cutting stuff back and out since the day my surgery was booked (April 1, 2013).
 
For the last two weeks I have been carb free and in dietary ketosis… so this week I have decided to go clear liquids only throughout the day, and one sensible low carb low fat protein rich meal for dinner – it will be chicken or fish with a low carb vegetable. Day 1, 12:24… I am FREAKING HUNGRY!! However, I am going to withstand this physical discomfort because I know that on the flip side, it will be gone.
 
Why am I torturing myself you may ask? Because I feel that the challenge I will face following my surgery will be as much mental and emotional as it is physical. I want to learn now, over the next 14 days how much protein my body needs, and when, along with the various other nutrient requirements (Multi Vit, Calcium,D, B12).
 
My resolve is not to feel unwell or weak the first couple of weeks following my surgery, but moreover; to not panic and start climbing the walls because there is nothing solid going into my body.
 
I hope it works. So far, the gradual decrease has been working for me. I feel physically stable, and mentally empowered. I have lost 18 lbs this year, and 39 since my top weight.
 
Neither refined sugar nor caffeine call the shots anymore so now I tackle ghrelin – I hope it knows the strong stubborn b***h its up against.
 
In other news, my sister will now be coming with me to Juarez and I am super excited. She is as silly as me and I think we will have a ball.
 
My bf/ ex bf?? whatever he is now... has not been home since Monday. We have talked and “made up” so to speak. I don’t believe there was any affair or any of the sort going on... because I know exactly where he stayed (and with whom). However, to get in a snit and not come home or check in for a couple of days after a fight, is extremely childish and disrespectful - especially for a man in his 40s!!!.
 
My feeling at this point is that he is waiting for me to ask him to come home. That’s not happening. I love the man, but I am far to old for this crap, and I have a wonderful son to think about.
 
And really, if I can get over Chocolate, I can get over Justin! :Þ

I had my sleeve done on March 30, 2013. This is my story so far… even though I feel like I am eating like a bird, my weight loss has come to a halt! I am upping the exercise a bit to see if that helps. The lack of weight loss is frustrating, however, I am fitting into smaller clothes! It is the best decision I have ever made regarding my health. At first I felt very sad - I missed chewing - doesn't that sound weird? But then after a few weeks I was allowed to have soft foods and the desire to chew up some meat was fulfilled! Now I find that I don't even really enjoy food - it is a chore to figure out what I want to eat. I make sure I get my protein drink in each day and a V8 along with the vitamins and calcium citrate; the rest is just filler. Nothing tastes as good as it used to before the surgery. If this keeps up, it will be a breeze to lose more and keep it off for life!
Food was my best friend that I turned to whenever I needed to calm myself, soothe my mind, celebrate an occasion, and so on. The surgery has severed this relationship - it's been like losing a friend that I depended on for moral support. But now I realize that food was not my friend – it was a crutch that was bringing me down – not holding me up. I am learning new ways to cope with life – it is wonderful. I think anyone who has struggled with weight should consider this surgery. The recovery is painless and the scars are minimal. I can’t wait to uncover the thin person that is inside this chubby body – what a treat that will be! Good luck to all!!