musicalmomma

I know I'm chiming in a little late here...but just want to add a little different perspective... My husband and I were both banded Summer 2006... I know for me...I plateaued and then weight started to creep back up as my husband sailed through his weighloss. (He did hit a plateau after losing 180 pounds) Of course he worked A LOT harder at it that I was willing to work. However, my lack of self asteem caused me to sink deeper into a depression. I felt like a complete failure and it was hard to show happiness for him as he dropped weight and soared in athletics. As a result, our marriage took a big hit and we almost lost each other. My biggest failure was to let him know I was so proud of his accomplishments, even though I was ashamed of my weight loss failure. His biggest failure was to communicate how important my support was to him and how he felt let down by my lack of enthusiasm for his new found fitness. We've had an amazing marriage up until we were banded two years ago (been married since 2/14/98). Losing so much weight is a HUGE adjustment for both spouses. It almost cost us our marriage. But thankfully, with open, loving, supportive communication, I am now his biggest cheer leader and HE is my champion! He's my "bob" (biggest loser). I have my own personal trainer...and he's my lover too! Best of both worlds. He motivates me doesn't let me give up. It's a shame it took all this time and pain to realize what we needed from each other and to give it to each other, but I am so thankful that we did arrive here :purplebananna: I guess I'm telling this side of the story to say...it's not always an abusive or nasty spouse trying to keep you down...it could be a fearful spouse...fearful of losing you...or a spouse that feels like a failure and your success magnifies that feeling of failure in him/her. My hope in sharing this is that maybe some open honest communication, in love, would save others the heartache my marriage suffered this past year. Best wishes to all on your journey! :Banane01:

This post is just so I can "get it out there" and make a declaration to begin again! I was banded 6/1/07. Did GREAT until November of 2007. Went from 284 to 209.5! Then the weight loss stopped...shortly after I started working again at a sedentary job (was a stay at home mom). Now, I've creeped up 16 pounds! I take full responsibilty. I stopped regular exercise. I started drinking my calories in the form of frappucino's from starbucks and moo-late's from DQ! I ate a lot of ice cream (see a trend in the chilly treats??). I let myself get too tight, had a complete unfil...jumped 10 pounds in two weeks while unfilled!!! Then I got refilled and it was a little snug. Now I'm at a perfect fill, but still didn't lay off the icy treats and am now 16 pounds up! Yep 225.5! SO, today...I woke up...prayed...asked for help...then realized...um, God gave us our own wills and I have to decide what I want more...moo-late's and frappucino's? or to be healthy and fit? I am choosing to start fresh today! Be brutally honest with myself...yet not beat myself up! Hey, many people would KILL to be down to 225.5! I'm still down 58.5 pounds! But I HAVE to get a grip because the band is a tool that I have NOT been using. I need to USE my band and make better choices! Well...this is my new beginning...I just wanted to journal it here for accountability purposes. Thanks for reading.

Thanks everyone for all the encouragement and support! Yesterday was a little rough...I'm doing a modified de-tox, to get the sugar out of my system and have a pretty bad headache right now. But other than that, doing well...went for a walk at lunch yesterday and today. In a couple of days I should be feeling good again! :Angel_anim: Again...thank you everyone for the words of encouragement!!

high WBC is VERY common in obese people!! I had high WBC, my husband had high WBC, and my dear friend had high WBC on our pre-op blood work. We only needed a clearance from our pcp and all got it. None of us had any infection. I guess it's high enough to truly concern your surgeon since your pcp's clearance doesn't put his mind at ease. Better safe than sorry...but you're right... a little more notice, before the surgery would have been nice! Are you on a pre-op diet? I'm sorry you have to wait...keep us posted.

kacee...thanks to you...I am pb/reflux/pain free! I finally called the doc, got in today, was unfilled, feel 100% better!!! Your advice probably saved me from a slip or perhaps worse! Thanks again :smile:

hi asherje (((((hugz))))) Your situation is a tough one. I would beware of loan companies, considering your current status. You MAY get approved by one if you keep looking, but the interest would be probably astronomical. I agree with the poster about checking your credit report. Unfortunately, a divorce negatively impacts your credit rating for a couple of years (how's that for adding insult to injury?). A question about your insurace...who told you it wasn't a covered procedure? When I first called out insurance company, they said the same thing...what they didn't know was...I already asked my HR dept and KNEW it WAS a covered procedure...so I didn't let them brush me off that easily!! If you haven't checked with your HR benefits provider...check there...perhaps you got an insurance rep that didn't know your particular policy too well. Just a thought. Anyway...your situation is a very tough one...when my first marriage ended (he ran off with another man however! and left me, a stay at home mom, with two small daughters) I went to a 'divorce' seminar and remember feeling deflated when we were advised to wait two years after our divorce to make any life changing decisions if at all possible (e.g. another relationship, moving, etc) I know I surely did NOT want to hear that then, but now, 14 years later and 10 years into a HAPPY marriage, I know he was right. I was still healing. Making a life changing decision before the healing process was over, could have rendered bad consequences, and thus more pain. Just something to consider. Best of luck to you...keep us posted.

I gotta say...this has been the funniest thread i think i've ever read! I'm almost sad to see her go ...almost BUT I'm sure she'll go change her screen name and come back and behave herself :tt2: Anyway...if you're still reading, love777pink...today's the big day and all joking/sarcasm aside...hope your surgery goes well and that you do come back to the board with any questions you have. We really VERY supportive here...we just have a keen sense of sarcasm :sneaky:

Oh Trixie...I beg to differ with you...yes, she has the right to post her opinion...but that's where you and I (and most everyone else) part ways in this line of thinking. We have EVERY right to crush her when her OP was designed to crush us bitching complainers! When attacked...I'm sorry...I'm just not inclined to roll over and take it up the butt! All in the name of "her rights". If the post had been costructive...I would have gladly been constructive...but she received WAY more consideration of feelings than she gave to EVERY poster on this board.

I guess I'm just not inclined to be diplomatic tonight... this "poster" has 10 posts...is '21' (21 is the new 15!) and no not all 21 year olds are babies...but her lack of reply to the constructive explinations here shows she most likely just wanted to start a fight thread! Many people can't get a multi-page thread of interest going without throwing down fighting words. To the original poster...it's a support forum...people need support...people sometimes need to cry, whine, or yell to work through things. Apparently the entire concept of a support forum eludes you. I am totally thankful for this sight...I can't tell you how many times it answered a question I had...quelled a fear...or got me back on track. Well, I guess I served my purpose on this particular thread...to make it longer and confirm that all we do it bitch here! The end

OK...I feel like I'm returing to an OA meeting...but need to post this for accountability purposes :thumbdown: I hid from this forum over the past few months because of feeling like a failure. I've been at a stand still since November and even gained a couple of pounds over vacation a couple of weeks ago... SO, I did a little self psycho-analysis and here are my findings... I'm a scaredy cat!... My husband has lost 142 pounds since his surgery (8/6/07)! He was 440 and is now 298! He's looking and feeling wonderful! He works out daily and is eating right. He has optimal restriction and is sailing through the pounds. We've been VERY happily married for over ten years now! Mind you, I'm 6.5 years older than my husband. He's VERY attractive and travels a lot for work. I began feeling scared as he got smaller and I looked in the mirror and saw a 40 year old looking back! Yep, I'll be 40 in August. Can you say "mid-life crisis"? I got scared that my younger, handsom husband, who has never been with another woman but me, might get curious about other younger, firmer, women and stray. As such, Old habits die hard, and I reverted to my trusty ice cream comfort, coping mechanism. Thankfully, I didn't gain a ton of weight...just a tiny bit, and I attribute that to my band helping me limit portions of the "not so easy to eat" foods. I realized that he has to make his own decisions and I have to make mine. My self distructive behavior wouldn't keep him faithful...only HE can make that decision! So, I need to be good to myself and be the best ME I can be...and be a good wife too of course I've also been hiding from my surgeon! I cancelled an appointment because I wanted to go AFTER I had lost some weight. Well, as we all know...that theory rarely pans out and it didn't pan out for me! So, last week, I started to do some "diet" soul searching. I narrowed my choices down to 2. Weight Watchers and Medifast. I decided on Medifast because there is ZERO guess work, it works GREAT, and it's healthy. SO, yesterday, I called my surgeon's office and told them I was coming in to buy medifast. Mind you, DH and I were a lapband cover story in a major medical magazine in Green Bay a couple of months ago. When I arrived...I was a celebrity! Everyone had to come out and talk to me...even my surgeon! hehe...I couldn't escape him He was so kind to me...told me I was looking GREAT!! When he saw that I was there to get medifast, his first words were "what? is my band not working for you?" then he giggled. I explained my dillemma and he was so great!!!! He said "Well a lot of people "diet" to lose the weight, then rely on the band to maintain". He made me promise to come in to see him in a couple of weeks. So I made an appointment. I feel a HUGE weight lifted off. The guilt and self loathing are gone and I'm excited to start losing again. I'm excited to read posts on this forum...get encouragement...and offer encouragement as well. Well, that's my story and I'm stickin to it Thanks for reading

A couple of questions: Are you type II diabetic? Have you been tested for metabolic disorders? If you're not type II and don't have any metabolic disorders of any kind...then I would venture to guess, yes, denial is a big possibility. I am not saying that to be cruel...because Lord knows, denial had been my best friend for many moons...(and probably vexed most ppl on this board in one way or another). If you do have a physical reason for not loosing, then it's just gonna be a tough road to hoe. It'll be harder for you, but it still can be done. What does your doctor say about it?

Hi Maryrose...yes, we our stats are very similar...we'll get through this though No, a gain doesn't always mean a fill is needed. Things like candy, ice cream, chips, and the like go through a well restricted band VERY easily and are full of fat and calories. That was the reason for my gain. However, if you've had a gain, and you're following the pouch tool rules...yep, a fill is probably in order OP: Medifast ROCKS!! -3.5 pounds in two days! Yea, I know it's all Water weight at the start...but dang it...that water weight has to go too! :wub: The funny thing is...the thicker Meal Replacements, like Chili and oatmeal, fill up my pouch perfectly! It's not an easy program the first few days...because you go into sugar withdrawal...but there is no arguing with the results!

Thanks for all your kind support :wub: I'd be lying if I said this isn't hell right now...I'm DYING eat some easter candy and eat junky food for easter dinner...Ah well...one minute at a time :frown:

I think it just means that you're appoved to see the surgeon. The surgeon still has to submit for surgery approval. Insurance can be a tangled web of uncertainties...but it's all worth it in the end. The great news is...it's obviously something your insurance covers as long as you meet the criteria :thumbdown:

ditto to what lee41 said! Trust me...there really isn't much of a honeymoon period with the band...if at all...it can be quite frustrating at the beginning...until you reach optimal restriction. The honeymoon is kinda delayed until that point...which can take months to acheive. (caviate: I'm only speaking from my own point of view and my husbands point of view, he's 6 months out) I'm 9 months out and have only had that "honeymoon" feeling for about 3 of those months...the first three were frustrating, because I was too loose...then next three were exhillerating because I had great restriction...the last three I don't give it much thought...it's there...it's working :thumbdown: Hope you get some responses from those who've been banded longer Best of luck with your surgery.

this is GREAT advice!!!! Thanks for sharing your story kacee...it will probably save someone else the same pain.

I'm pretty sure it's a combination...but mostly a deprivation of carbs that shrinks the liver. I mean...if you fasted for two weeks, your liver, among other things, would shrink. It's just that most foods fall into two catagories or a combination of the two...carbs and Protein. I know it stinks...I hated my pre-op diet...but here I am 9 months later and it's all a distant memory. Hang in there...it's worth it

I know how ya feel...or at least my DH knows. He didn't even tell anyone what kind of surgery he was having...only that he was having surgery. They didn't even send a card! But EVERYONE else who's ever gone in the hospital gets a nice plant and card from the department. Needless to say, he no longer donates when they come collecting and makes sure they know why :thumbup: I'm sure they now suspect we both had WLS since he's lost 130 pounds and I've lost 70...but he still won't tell them. Hang in there...it's really hurtful...there's no way around feeling hurt, but for your own sake...try to let it go...forgiveness isn't "letting the other person off the hook"...it's "giving yourself peace". Congratz on a successful surgery and best wishes for many pounds falling off! :blushing:

I have finally put down the fork of denial and am fully admitting to being a junk food junkie. I crave sweets, I eat sweets, I crave chips/crackers, I eat chips/crackers. I am fully admitting that this band will NOT hinder me from consuming these easy foods! I am fully admitting that I MUST NOT eat these things. I can't even give in a little, because, as an addict, one is never enough. All my diet life, I've said "everything in moderation". Well, at this point in my life, I can not moderate my junk. So, I am making a VERY tough decision to eat NO junk food whatsoever for the entire month of August! This is very easy to type, but not so easy to live by. This will be difficult on my birthday, but tough snoogies! I've had cake before, I know what it tastes like, I'm not really missing anything! Anyone else need to put down the fork of denial with me and join me in banning junk for one month? It's sometimes easier to do this when others are going through it with you. Heck, I'm even considering looking up the twelve steps from AA and going through them in August. Am I nutz????

I get band reflux (not acid) if I eat or drink too close to bed. I have to let the food and liquid empty from the stoma before lying down. Also, if I take any kind of NSAID (alleive is the worst) I get burning in my esophogus. I only take nsaids when pain is WAY too bad for tylenol to touch, which is rare for me. Anyway...that's my experience

if you've been drinking plenty since eating the toast...you wouldn't still have it stuck. Sometime, after something that was stuck, finally goes through, it can leave the stoma a little irritated and swollen. It'll probably pass in a day or two, with a soft or even mushy diet.

Best wishes to you and your friend :Banane20:

dayum skippy!! I'm praying a surgeon will want to use me as an advertisement and do it at cost or free! Hey...everyone has a dream

perhaps this belongs on the "rants" section of the forum...but I don't go in there...so here goes... I am SO sick of hearing that surgery is the easy way out! Aside from the fact that it's utter crap...so what if it is??????? I liken it to when I had my kids...I had epidurals...OH how I loved them, and enjoyed the birth experience...then the self righteous natural bithers (no, I don't think all natural birthers are self righteous...but some are)...would look down their nose at me and say "Well I did it all natural!" As if I had committed a terrible sin! I would look at them and say..."did you have a healthy baby?"...they said "yes"...I said "so did I!" Why the hell care about HOW we got healthy...just so we got healthy!

that tube sore throat can take a while to get better...hang in there...in a few days you should be over the hump... as for the dry mouth...if you're still taking the prescribed pain meds, that 'may' be the culprit...just a thought Congratz on making it to bandland