Things will get better. You are half way there. You were approved and so the battle is half won. The feeling will fade as you see the old you fade too. Just think about the life you will have once you become healthier. I had a few herina repairs you will be great. Pray about it and let it go, you don't have control, let it go you can only control your reaction to the situation not the action. You will be a healthier, happier you.