kristikay

Today I went in for my presurg scope, so they can look down into my stomach and make sure all is okay. I'm day 3 into my liquid diet, and because of my scope, I was not able to eat after 10pm yesterday until about 2pm today (after the procedure.) My mom, who is pretty awesome most of the time, went with me today because I needed someone to drive me home after the procedure. (They put you all the way out.)
 
Anyway, we had to sit back in the waiting area for about an hour before the doctor got there, and what did my mom spend that time talking about? Food! She read me a recipe she copied down from out in the waiting room. She listed what he will probably make for Christmas, and she pointed out that they were having my favorite one of her dishes (homemade beef stew) that night for dinner. I finally had to tell her that she was allowed to talk about food for the rest of the day! It was funny, but a little sad at the same time. It kind of encapsulated my experience with my family during times I've tried to lose weight: they say they support me, but then their actions say something else. My grandmother is the same way. She's famous for handing you a cookie, letting you start to enjoy it, and then looking at you and shaking her head, saying, "Boy, we really need to start watching our weight."
 
You gotta love family! But it was a good day. I was nervous about the scope, and it went really well. I had my last official appointment with the surgeon's office until the surgery, and honestly, the liquid diet is not too bad. I've actually lost about 4 pounds in the last 3 days. So onward we go-- 12 days left!

Wow! Today has been a 180 from yesterday in terms of how I'm feeling about myself and the surgery. I am not down in the dumps. I kept super busy most of the day, but when I was able to wind down, I had some time to think about some of the things I was told in my pre-op class...
My dietician told me that she likes to listen to audio books while she walks on her treadmill or exercises.
 
There are a few reasons why this is an awesome idea...
1. Watching TV while exercising you have 1/3 commercials... most commercials are of fatty, delicious food. Seriously, NOT what I need when I'm trying to lose weight and break bad habits!
2. Music is a good option too, but after a week, you've heard them all and it doesn't really appeal anymore.
3. If you are like me and enjoy books but don't have time to sit down and read in the peace and quiet... kill 2 birds with 1 stone! Knock out my exercising and feed my brain all at the same time!
 
I thought, well, I will give that a try. Looking into it, I found that it is really expensive to download books... goodness gracious! After some researching and confusion of what their "deal" was, I found that I like audible.com best. I got the app for my iPod touch and download a few books.
 
I found some good inspirational books by Joel Osteen... How? I'm not sure... I have NO idea how his book got brought up. Thank goodness it did though! It was just what I needed and I didn't even know it.
 
So, I downloaded my book, ran downstairs, and fired up the treadmill... for the second time since surgery. (I've been walking, but more aimlessly around inside buildings and even my house.) I haven't had the motivation to really get into exercising yet for some reason. I got excited about the audio book thing though and was eager to get going.
 
I hopped on the treadmill and next time I looked down I had been on for 10 minutes... like nothing. I only ended up walking 15 though. I didn't want to overdo myself because I'm still pretty sore at times.
 
This book (so far.. I had to stop myself after the intro, before he got into "Day 1") talked about how your words affect your future. If you wake up tired and say, "Oh, man. I'm just so tired. It's going to be a horrible day." It will be. I've been told that a million times... blah blah blah. I know. I needed a reminder though. If you're feeling tired, say outloud, "I feel great. I'm healthy. Today is going to be a great day!" It will be a good day!
 
Also, it talked about how no one believes the things you say about yourself quite as much as you do. If you tell yourself enough that you are beautiful, happy, blessed, radiant, soon enough you will feel like you are... and you will be!
 
I needed these words (although I paraphrased A LOT from what the book says) I hope that they help someone else through their time of difficulty too.
 
Today truly has been a great day for me. I hope it has been for you too!!
 
I HIGHLY recommend considering listening to an audiobook while exercising. There are soooo many out there that there will be something for everyone to download.

I won't lie to anyone it is hard work trying to live with out food as my crutch and sometimes (even with the surgery) I fall short of my ideal behavior when it comes to food. There are people who have told me that I've taken the easy way out. I disagree with them but I don't waste my breath arguing with them anymore. Even with the surgery I still have to closely monitor what I eat and be more active. The surgery has given me the help I need to lose weight but it doesn't mean that I woke up from the surgery cured of my old bad food habits. But I manage my eating much better. I'm encouraged that I'm moving closer to where I want to be. Good things that have happened to me since my surgery:
I can walk to my car without having to stop and take a breath
I'm not in constant pain because of my knees
I have given away over 10 bags of clothes that are way too big for me--I'm down 4 sizes so far
People sit next to me on the train (I used to feel so guilty taking up two seats when the train was crowded)
I cooked dinner at thanksgiving and it didn't wear me out --being on my feet for a few hours easy peasy
I look in the mirror and I recognize myself!
I do have a figure(my waist line is returning)
my bath sheets wrap around me there's no big gap!
there is really cute lingerie in my size
Oh my doctors have taken me off a couple of my meds
I realize I can only eat so much so I visually measure out a cup of food and that's my meal

There's a lot of little things but mainly I'm just thankful that I was able to do this surgery. I'm grateful that my insurance covered it and I'm grateful that I chose the right program. I feel really blessed by the whole experience problems and all.

Hello everyone,
 
Well, I DID IT! I was sleeved yesterday (11/16) at noon. I still can't believe it's over already. We arrived at the hospital at 10 a.m., where they checked me and took me back to pre-op area. The nurse there....Kathy, was GREAT. She was very attentive, talkative and interactive. While she was asking me all the health history questions, she asked me how I got to the point where I knew the 'sleeve' was what i wanted to do. I told her that between meeting with my PCP where he recommended it, attending the seminar held by the surgeon and his Nurse Practitioner, I decided it was the one of the 3 that had the best results without being the most extreme. (Yes, I know, taking 85% of my stomach is extreme, but...)
 
Once pre-op was completed, and it took a specialist to get the IV started in my upper left arm, the surgery nurse came in and took me down to the operating room. There they inflated a new matress they have that when inflated, makes it so those who are moving your from your bed to the surgery table don't have to strain quite as much and it's much easier on their backs. After I was situated, the anesthesiologist started placing the monitoring pads on my upper chest. Then he said he wanted to put this mask on me to give me more oxygen and help calm me down a little. (I didn't think I was having problems stayin calm....but what ever). That is essentially all I remember. I don't remember waking up in recovery, and I don't remember being moved from recovery to my room. All I remember was that my hubby, sister, sis-in-law and mom-in-law were in the room chit chatting until I woke up. Then the nurse explained what everything was, and handed me the morphine drip button. I tried very hard to not use it any more often than necessary. Overnight, the nurses would come it to check my vitals, give me a shot for this, add another bag of something to the IV, ask how I was etc. I have to admit, I don't think I slept for more than 2 hrs at a stretch. At about 5 a.m., the tech came in and asked if I wanted to move to the chair. I did, of course, as I had been lying down since 11 a.m. the day before. My mouth was a dry mess, and all they offered were lemon flavored mouth swabs (YUCK). I would use that to get the most of the try out, and then I would dip it into a cup of water and rinse a little more that way, making sure I did not swallow.
 
At about 7:30 a.m., Sydney (the tech) came in and announced we were heading down to x-ray where they could do a leak test. While I as standing there, they handed me this tall milk white container with the barium in it. As I stood there the x-ray tech asked me to take a couple big drinks (which kind of scared me with the sleeve!) so he could see it running through my esophagus and to my stomach to witness if there were any leaks. After 4 different views, he was done (it took all of about 10 min) I was sent back to my room to wait for the Dr. with the results.
 
A couple hours later, the doctor showed up and said he was pleased with how surgery went, and that the leak test showed no issues. He would come back after noon and see how things are going and likely send me home.
 
After he left, the lead nurse (Deanna) removed the catheter....(damned glad I don't have to do THAT very often) the nurses and my sister helped me shower and change into my street clothes (all but my t-shirt since I was still connected to the IV). Once they got the orders to remove me from the IV, I was able to put on my t-shirts.
 
Dr. came in about 1:15 or so and asked if I wanted to go home. So, I asked him if he wanted to send me home. He said definitely. Everything is going well, and he wrote orders for the nurses and then wrote a prescription for vicoden for me. Deanna came back in with the final papers for me to sign, and then I got to leave (via wheelchair to my hubby waiting in the car at the door). We then took a trip to the closest pharmacy to get my prescription filled....they didn't have the dosage he was asing for...so we tried another...same issue. Then we tried a 3rd, and by then we realized the dr had added his cell number to the bottom of the prescription, so the pharmacist called to discuss the dosage and find out if it could be modified. He said yes, so we got the medicine and headed home.
 
I have now declared where I will be the next couple of days while I recover (recliner in the front room).
 
This first day hasn't been all that aweful, but it hasn't been a cake walk either. I have quite a bit of discomfort where the air bubble is sitting on my diaphram, and from the 1 - 1 1/2" incision at the top of my bellybutton to remove the stomach through. Other than that, the pain is rather minimal.
 
I hope all that have an upcoming surgery date, will go ahead and do it. By reading all the posts on here, I know that day 2 will be better than today, and day 3 better than that and so on. I can't wait for the New Year and the new me!!

Today's post isn't about weight loss. It's about me and my husband learning to adjust to living with cats. First, you have to understand that neither he nor I are cat people. Please, let me explain. In 1997. after graduating from college, I got a dog. Bear (I didn't name him), was black lab, boarder collie mix. He was full of life and the most loving animal I have ever known. I found Bear in a local paper and when I left to go look at him, my mother's last words to me were, "DO NOT bring him home if he's nothing but a ball of energy!". So, I set off to take a look at this dog that I more than likely wouldn't bring home. All I knew was he was between three and four years old and he was a black lab mix.
 
Once I got to the home, this big bouncing ball of fur pounced out the door and on to me. All he wanted was to to be played with and loved on. There was something about him that told me I couldn't leave him there. So, after assuring the owner he was in good hands and giving my vet. references, I said the magic words, " Wanna go bye-bye?" That was it. He took off towards my car in a full stride. By the time I caught I up to him, I could see him sitting by the car door, tail wagging, and what to me looked like a smile on his face. To be honest, I felt really bad for the owner, who was in tears. I could tell she loved this dog. The only other thing I knew was that she was going through a tough divorce and that she could not have Bear in her new place. So, with another jump, he was in my back seat and we were off to my house.
 
Once home, many things became obvious. The first was that he had not come from a loving and caring home. I believe the woman did love and try to care for him, but he was scared to death of men. My father would try to play with him and he would whimper and hide. The same thing would happen if my father or anyone would try to throw food to him. Other than these signs, he was a loving, caring, empathetic creature who seemed to be very happy to be in his new home.
 
Over the years, Bear and I moved on. He watched me go on many dates and never seemed to give any of the men the time of day. If I would have a date over, Bear would stay near me, but he would never engage anyone. That is until my husband. On our first date, we ended back at my place to play Trivia Pursuit. I later found this was a test of my intelligence....thank goodness I passed. It was when Scott sat down that the strangest thing happened. Bear, jumped up on the couch and placed his head in Scott's lap. It was as thought Bear was trying to tell me to give this one a chance. To be honest, I am not sure if it wasn't for Bear if I would have even thought about going out with him again. I guess there are just somethings dogs know that we don't.
 
That brings me to 10 years later. Scott and I are living together and I am an hour away visiting my parents when I receive a text message. It's a photo of Scott holding this tiny orange kitten. Now, i wasn't too shocked as even though we are no cat people, we are humane. This kitten had been outside in the cold for awhile. We had been feeding it and even gave it a safe, warm place to sleep. Apparently, that wasn't good enough. While my husband was getting firewood, this kitten decided to walk right inside, past the dog, and jump up on the couch and take a nap. Despite my attempts to find a home for him, he seemed to nudge his way in our lives and hearts. It took a little longer for Bear to be as open with him but once they learned to live together, things were fine.
 
Then, a year later, my husband and I are watching T.V. when we hear what sounds like a baby screaming. Because at the time, we lived in a not so nice place, we allowed the sound to go on for a few minutes. When we knew it wasn't going to stop, it dawned on us that it wasn't a child but a kitten making this heart wrenching noise. Sure enough, when we opened out front door, we found a kitten, around four to five weeks old. It had been thrown down the steps to our door. In the process, it had broken it's leg, busted three teeth, and peed itself. Needless to say, we couldn't allow it to suffer. So, as i went to get food for the little thing, my husband (a trained EMT), reset the kitten's leg and wrapped it. Bear became very protective of Bandit (the new cat) from the moment she came in our house. I think he knew she was abused and he remembered what that was like. Bear refused to leave her side and though he was too old to jump up on the bed to lay next to her, he did stand guard next to the bed. Every time she would jump down to use the bathroom or explore, Bear was right there to watch out for her.
 
Then a year later, when Bear was 19 1/2, yes you read that right, he passed away from a brain tumor. When we brought home his ashes, Bandit curled up next to him and refused to leave his side. She became his protector and it was obvious she missed him. This was the most heart wrenching and loving thing I have ever seen.
 
Now, all that was to tell you this. Though my husband and I are not cat people, these two cats really did help us through the loss of our dear friend, Bear. However, it is times like this morning where I wonder if maybe we should have tried a little harder to find another home for them. Let me explain.
 
It's 3am. My husband and I are all cozy asleep in bed when Hunter (the orange cat) decided he wants to walk on us and kneed us. In my half awake state, I move him down towards my feet and begin to fall back asleep. I can feel him walking on the bed again, but since I'm almost back in REM state, I don't really care. Then I hear it. The blood curdling screams from the man I love. Apparently, Hunter, decided to use my husband's chest as a scratching post. Trust me, it's bad enough to be scratched by a cat but it's even worse when you're dead asleep and get woken up by razor sharp nails digging into your chest and face. The words I hear coming from the half asleep man next me are too risque to type here, but I am sure you can all get an idea of what he said. So, as my husband gets out of bed to care for the gashes in his chest and face, I have to smile. Not becasue my husband was hurt, but becasue I know that with out these two animals in our lives, I am not sure how we could have ever handled Bear passing away as well as we did. It's funny, we thought we were saving them, but in reality, they saved us......now if I could just get them to behave more like dogs we'd all be happier and my husband would be less scared.
 

 

 

I attended the required 6 week follow up class and MD appointment today. The class was ho-hum, we received a script for lab work for the 3 month visit and every 3 months for a year, and a reminder of our diet restrictions and exercise recommendations.
 
The good part, or the part that made the 1 hour drive worthwhile was sitting next to a fellow sleever I had met briefly at the last pre op class. She and I have a lot in common, age, weight to lose, type & date of surgery and the POST OP PAIN! I was shocked! She described her pain in her left side just like I had-and she said the MD had her come in to be seen and explained in detail how there were internal stitches that needed to dissolve and that the pain would last about 1-2 weeks and then suddenly disappear. REALLY? He didn't tell me ANY of that! Well, on top of that bit of news I asked about her weight loss- she's down 40 lbs from her date of surgery (Oct 1-same as mine!). Great. I'm only down 19lbs from Oct 1. But I will give as my excuse that I have not been able to exercise hardly at all-she has been able to exercise for about 2 weeks now. Boy,, I hope I can catch up now that that damn pain is gone!
 
Lastly, when seeing the MD today, I told him about the other gal having similar issues- he said, "Yea, weird, I've had three of you ladies with that weird pain this month". I could have choked him! He had acted like I was some kind of freak when I was having my issues. GRRRRRR.

Hello family, I will be starting a blog today, and will try to update daily. I was sleeved on May 31th 2012. A few complications, but over all I cant honestly complain. Life is GREAT! I wish I would have did this a long time ago!  

Well this morning, I woke up late and had to hurry to find something to put on. My sister brought me some Lane Bryant pants last year, size 20...well I went to put them on they were soooo baggy, I had to take them off! I started my journey at 279.00 pounds, I now weigh 226 pounds. After I put the pants on I was walking around, like yeah these will work, until I looked in the mirror....HAAAHHHAAA! Those things looked like I borrowed someone else pants.  

I know that my weight loss is a little slower compared to others, but I am BLESSED to be losing and NOT GAINING! I walk 2 -3 miles three to four times a week. I feel like I am doing my part...To who ever is reading this, stay encouraged! Even if you are not losing as much as you would like........You got this, and so do I....I would like to be under 200 pounds by the new year!  

Who is ready!  

Have a great day and enjoy this journey!!

My husband is with me, I have my beautiful packing list that I developed from this forum (thanks!) all with me, and I’m ready. I have my health care proxy, made videos for my loved ones in case of anything, and was ready. At 10:20am, I went under the knife.
I’m not really sure what time I woke up, but I think it’s around 3, because my husband was going to pick up my daughter from school. I’m a little groggy, but I don’t feel any pain. Yay! My mouth is dry, but the nurse brought me a swab for my mouth. My hubby tells me that the nurse came to ask me a bunch of questions and he had to answer because I kept falling asleep. Oh well. I don’t remember much from the rest of the day. That night I did have a little nausea, and a little bit of discomfort. I wouldn’t say pain, but discomfort. But I have a ridiculously sensitive gag reflex, and did throw up a little bit that night. Strange feeling.
The next day, I was feeling a little more alert, and my hubby was with me for the day, although I still slept a lot. They brought me the little cups of isopure. I didn’t like isopure much before the surgery, and certainly didn’t like it much afterwards. But I could also drink water. My surgeon said that for the first week I needed to focus on fluids. We would worry about protein later. It was nice to have 1 thing to focus on instead of 100. So, I drank water, some isopure, and had a delightful cream of chicken soup. And walked. I did 3 laps that day, 990 feet, and felt great still. No more discomfort, except for some gas. Yay warm compresses! They took my catheter off, which was kind of sad. It was nice to not have to worry about going to the bathroom. I know that sounds weird, but hey, that’s what I was thinking. It was nice to not have to carry the lovely catheter bag with me on my walks. J
So, I am “eating” ok, drinking ok, feeling pretty good. My husband leaves and brings my daughter to visit. She wasn’t interested in the hospital, and after giving me a hug and kiss, she wanted to leave. I got to watch all the tv I could stand, and got caught up on my hgtv shows. Had a good night, and the next day I knew was most likely going to be my return to the real world day. I was excited, but nervous about having to remember everything I needed to do.
So, on Oct. 11, I did a few walks, visited with my very nice roommate, and just got ready to go. They cleared me to leave at 3, which is of course shift change, so I left at 4. Still feeling good, no pain, although the incisions hurt if I touched them, but that’s obviously going to get better. Drove home, and the real adventure begins! I weighed myself that first night home (holy cow, I had missed my comfy bed!), and I was down to 314.

Let me start with this; no matter how much knowledge you accumulate before this surgery, you can’t be fully prepared as to what will happen after surgery. I went through and read so many posting of people struggling with food, cheating, wondering why they hadn’t lost weight. I couldn't understand how someone could go through this surgery and do that to themselves. I knew I would NEVER jeopardize my health or my new little sleeve after surgery by cheating or going off the Dr.’s plan...
 
Surgery went great, I lived through it and recovered quickly with the most pain being the first few hours after getting out. Within days I was able to take normal drinks of liquids and stayed on a liquid diet with no hunger until Monday morning (4 days out).
 
Tuesday I ended up eating five saltines and boy did I beat myself up for it. I called my Dr. and begged for them to change my one week appointment to Wednesday instead of Friday because I physically felt like I could NOT wait all week to start full fluids and protein shakes. Appointment got changed. Wednesday morning I went and saw the PA and she said I was OK-ed for full liquids and soft foods. I was 16.8 lbs down at the first week visit. So that day I had two eggs and several bites of my husband’s country fried steak for breakfast. Two hours later I felt famished and had some more of his country fried steak. I continued eating eggs with cheese, slivers of crockpot roast, pan fried chicken w skin, lunch meat, cheese, turkey jerky bites, salami w cream cheese rolled with a pepperchini topped with green olives ( I ate around 25 of these over a five hour period, felt like I couldn’t stop eating them). My sleeve tolerated it with no problems. I realized the insane cravings for copious amounts of food came from me being on my period. Btw, weighed Monday morning and I GAINED 5lbs, not surprised in the least.
 
Sunday Day 10 comes and it was a HUGE turning point. Went to my Grandpa's to celebrate a family birthday and He made tri tip, a whole ham, all the sides. So I put a slice of ham and tri tip w green beans on my plate. I start with the ham and green beans, I get an ounce of ham down and get a terrible fullness and gas in my stomach. Strange, I never had that before. I literally could not eat anymore and I felt sick. So I go home and my husband’s friends are over and they make chicken and mushrooms for a late dinner. I eat a small piece of slightly greasy chicken and 10 mins after I am in the bathroom puking.
 
FINALLY!!!! I feel like my sleeve is working. I get totally full off 1-2oz instead of the 4-6oz I was consuming. I am shocked. The hunger is minimal and comes up around the 3 to 4 hrs after last meal. Insane! The last few days it’s been hard to get to 400 calories, are you kidding me?? I didn’t think it was possible judging from the four day binge I went on. I also switched back to softer food. I know I was justifying food as soft that was not in the soft category. Now I'm eating tuna salmon, baby shrimp and eggs. I lost 2 1/2 of the lbs I gained.
 
I honestly do not know why there was such a delay in me feeling the effects of the sleeve. It took a long time for me to be able to pass gas, almost 6 days because my bowls were having problems "waking up" after surgery. Maybe my stomach did too? This is my husband's theory and it is the only one that makes sense as to how I was fitting so much food in and never feeling satisfied until Day 10.
 
I did NOT plan on sharing this with anyone. It is embarrassing and shameful. I jeopardized my health because I didn’t get control over my hunger. But I decided to share because maybe someone else out there is new out of surgery with a ravenous appetite and might possibly be able to relate or learn from my mistakes. More importantly I would hate for anyone to feel as hopeless as I did, thinking that this surgery was a total mistake. During those few days I would not have trusted anyone had they told me things would get better and eventually my hunger would subside -- but it DID! Every person's body is so unique and will be different through this process. For some of us it takes longer to reap the benefits of this surgery. And trying to distinguish between real hunger and head hunger is no joke, I think this will take years for me to deal with. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So keep jugging along...
I think can! I think I can!

These past few weeks have been tough as the all so sought after 199 has been so elusive..On 09/28/12 I weighted 203.4 and so was pretty confident I could hit 199 by the following week. My confidence was only heightened when on Wednesday, 10/03/12 I was 201.2..I just knew by the 10/05/12 I could shake off another 1.5lbs to finally join the 100 club...Well, I jump on the scale all excited and low and behold what pops up...199 even...Oh yeah oh yeah...So you know us scale obsessed folk, we have to double check, triple check, quadruple check...Well 199 never came back up...It kept reading 202...I was crushed...I told myself well you clearly are way close for 199 to even pop up because there was a time you were so far away from 199, the scale never gave a false read of 199..No doubt I am happy about my progess...31lbs and 21 inches and 4 sizes (and counting) all in 7 weeks..I just am panting for my first goal of 199..I will admit I was not as diligent about logging my food these past couple of weeks as I was previously so it is likely my carb intake got the best of me...So this is one thing I will commit to doing as it will be key to my success as well...
 
But no sense of whining about that...Instead, I am focusing on things I can change...and that is increasing my cardio and strength...So this past week I started Insanity, again...I did it about two months prior to surgery and while it is still hard now, it was so much harder then...30lbs make a difference...My stretches are better...My form is better and I have an even greater motivation knowing I am helping Pedro (my sleeve) do some of the heavy lifting...I am remixing Insanity a bit...Instead of doing it 6 days a week, I am doing it 5 days a week, skipping the recovery day and instead running on the day of recovery...Still getting my heart rate up and helping out my running game...I would love to do a half marathon in April or May of 2013...And speaking of running my running game has gotten so much better...When I first started exercising after surgery, it was taking me 60 minutes to walk 3 miles...Now I am doing 3 miles in 43 minutes...As I cut down on the 5 minutes of walking at the beginning and interchange 1.5 minutes of running with 1 minute of walking, it will only get better...Currently, I walk the 1st five minutes (3.5mph)...run a minute (5.5-6.0mph) and walk for minute and half (3.5)..My goal is to get it to 30 minutes...
 
Over the past couple of weeks, I have had increasing comments about how good I look...The folk that know about the surgery talk about how well I look losing the weight and that they can tell I am working out in the process as I am looking toned...A close friend of mine says you no longer look big...(oh the honesty) you just kinda blend in...Not big...not small..just about the size where no one notices your weight either way...Oh the honesty of a guy but I will still take it...lol...And a couple church friends talked about my saggy pants...Such a good feeling...I am slipping in pants I bought, two years ago and never could wear...Shirts I had given up on wearing because my belly fat/rolls showed too much...I havent worn my spanx (fool them to look thinner underarmour piece) but once (with a form fitting dress)in the past month...The muffin tops and the back fat is slowing fading away...It is such a good feeling.
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 203.4 (Week 6)
CW 201.2
GW 155

Happy 1 month Sleeve Anniversary to me! It's my 1 month Sleeve-versary and well, it's been a rough one! I just spent the last 4 days fighting the urge to smoke a cigarette because I'm struggling with my coping skills (and I haven't smoked in YEARS!!!). I drove 9 hours one way, just to see my grandmother who's terminally ill in Hospice in FL. My sleeve acted more as a shock collar because I kept eating terrible foods. Two bites in was throwing up. My sleeve is teaching me to change my behavior, but with so much emotional stuff going on in my life lately it's really been testing me to make the right decisions with food. This indeed is a journey, of learning and understanding. <3
 
Knowing my past habits, I know I would have derailed already and would have binged ate at certain emotional crossroads. At my family dinner on Saturday night, family I hadn't seen in years gathered to say their final goodbyes to my grandmother- and then came the food. Food I would have eaten and eaten and eaten and never stopped. But my sleeve didn't let me fail. I know this sleeve is the best decision I have ever made. Even when I had the urge to give up on myself, my sleeve wouldn't let me. It keeps me honest. It keeps me accountable. And for that I'm so very, very, very, grateful. I could only imagine how much my life will change in 6 months, just the progress in the last month has been such a welcomed relief and gives me hope of a better tomorrow. I might not be at goal weight right now, but I'm getting closer and closer everyday. And I see progress- which is much more than I can say for any diet I've ever been on before. And I don't feel deprived. Now that I'm 4 weeks out, I can eat anything I want- except I don't want the garbage, since I can only get a few bites in, I want to make them count with good delicious flavored food. Me, chicken, and steak, are now BFF's.
 
I <3 my Sleeve.
 
Height: 5'9
 
Heighest Weight: 216
 
1st Goal Weight: 169
 
 
Sleeved 8/17/2012 @ 216 lbs
 
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)

It has been awhile since I last posted so I figured why not post. Right now everything is going really well for me. I have lost a total of 31 pounds which is the fastest I ever have lost weight had surgery on 8/29/12. I set a goal to weigh 310 pounds at the end of September and I made it. I have a lot more energy than I have had in a long time. Sometimes I work out twice a day, mostly walking and swimming. I still have no intrest in cleaning around the house even though I have the energy to; I just really hate house work. The only challenge I am having is affording the right foods to eat. I was on a medical leave from work for awhile so now it'll take a couple paychecks to catch up to where I need to be, but I am not worried because worry doesn't bring money just stress so I am refusing to do that.
I am finally really happy I have been sleeved before I wasn't to sure. I was on a very long walk when I was just so grateful I could move and happy that I had the sleeve done. I feel like the prison door has been opened and I am just walking out. I am not obessed with food. I eat when I am hungry. Another great thing is I don't get panicky when I get hungry like I did before the surgery. The feeling of hunger happened so rarely before because I was always eating never getting the opportunity to get hungry. I don't have the amount of anxiety I used to have before the sleeve. I am no longer taking my anxiety medication. I only am on two meds both are generics and I am saving money there thank God! I don't regret having this surgery at all maybe I will on Thanksgiving but I don't think so. I'll probably be the only one not passed out and in pain from being stuffed. The one thing I love about Thanksgiving and always have has nothing to do with food, it is just having family around and enjoying one another. It's like Christmas but sans the presents and greed. Life is so much better with the sleeve, no regrets for now, except for having to do housework

So I made it!! Surgery was 9/21, wow there were some moments that I wasn't really sure I had made the right choice. The nausea, the pain and the taste all fun and adventurous! But now at 1 week and 2 days out, i am almost up to 64 oz of water a day, walking just over 1/2 mile a day and at 2 8 oz protien shakes, I am working it!! Things still taste funny, and I am learning to just deal. But oh by the way the weight loss? Yep super psyched about 15 lbs in 1 week. So to all preoppers, just hang in there it's all going to be worth it!!

Today wasn't my best day food wise I was okay no over eating. I just have a lot of emotions and financial worries so I feel depressed. But I am trying to list in my head all my blessings. I really have only one complaint and thousands of blessings so it puts things in proper perspective. I am so used to numbing out or distracting myself with food and now that it is not an option. I feel grateful for that, it is nice to have a clear head even if it can be painful, but pain forces me to choose a path and not be stuck in the same old place. I am going forward slowly but surely. So I choose to be grateful today, for my family, for dirty jokes, for computers, my dog, my love of books, my wonderful friends, and the list goes on.
Well, week 5 begins tomorrow I can officially eat soft fruits and veggies so yay to that. I am looking forward to going swimming tomorrow. Monday was my first day back at work so grateful that no one was too evil to me on the phone. Tomorrow I go back praying for a quick 8 hours. I really want to find a different line of work sitting down 8 hours a day sucks and I am about done with it. I am staying for the remainder of the year for insurance reasons but after that I have to move on for my own health mental and physical. I don't have any weight lost to report since I don't own a scale. I don't want to be focused on the scale or my weight, I refuse to be upset by a number. I have no more pain and can walk 2 miles without dying and no more high blood pressure. My life is better after this surgery especially my health and that is awesome.
 
God Bless everyone everywhere,
All my love, Linsey :wub:

Here it is the end of month 3. Never thought I would make it this far. Next week I see the surgeon for the 3rd time and he will tell me if I have passed all the tests and can get submitted to insurance.
 
I waited till the last week to do the heart doctor who because of my age and not able to exercise very well wanted a stress test. I did it and passed. I am glad they did not find anything wrong with my heart.
 
I went to the psycologist for quite a few visits and I think I had enough of that. She was very nice but I still don't know why I use food as a comfort.
 
I have been to 4 support group meetings, went to lung doctor and he said I had a touch of asema. My PCD went on to greener fields and I had to get a new PCD. That was not easy for me after many years. I guess I like him as well as any. It is hard to find a good doctor that you can get along with. One week in this 3rd month I had 4 doctor appointments in one week. I changed endo doctors also in month 2.
 
I pray that I am making the right decision to have this surgery. I know the life I have now is not good. I want a better life. I want to be able to be off of insulin and putting holes all over my body. I am tired of testing and taking insulin. I blame myself for getting diabetes but they tell me it is not my fault. I have been overweight almost all of my life, even as a child. As soon as I started kindergarden I ballooned up to obese and was that way until the 8th grade when I starved myself for 4 months and lost 40 lbs so I could get a dress for graduation. I wanted so to look like the other girls. I managed to lose another 20 lbs over the next 4 years and stayed there with 10 lbs up or down. Then I got married to someone who was overweight and immediately started to gain. I also got pregnant and gained back the 60 lbs which I never could lose. Over the rest of my life I gained another 70lbs and because of the insulin and the pain I have to keep me seditary it will probably continue to rise.
 
Well this is my weight story. Sorry if I bored you all, but you all mean so much to me. I read every post and blog. I feel your pain and also get joy from your accomplishments. I think we are like a family here. Too all the ones that are doing this at a young age I say GOOD FOR YOU. It is a good idea to get your life back as soon as possible. I have missed so much over all the years because of weight.
 
Best of luck to everyone. I will let you know what the outcome is with the doctor next month. I hope it is good news.

I have decided to go on an adventure. It was a huge decision on my part because it is a life changing and body altering choice. First, I think a little back ground is needed.
 
I have always been a "big girl" although, looking at pictures, not always as big as I thought. I actually prefer the term "BBB - Big Bodacious Broad" but that's just me! I have always been comfortable in my own skin. I was always active and a full participant in my life until a few years ago. Over the course of the years, I have had many, many stomach surgeries since my twins were born (that would be 25 years!). I realize that there are a lot of "always" but there really is no other way for me to say it.
So this brings me to July 2009. I had two major surgeries in two weeks due to intestinal strangulation. This was a tremendous "wow" moment for me for many reasons. The main one was my dear husband. We had only been married for six months when this happened. Not only did I have these two surgeries but the next month, due to an infection, they actually had to do another surgery and leave my stomach open for over eight long months. I was connected to a wound vac and it was less than fun. This greatly impacted our life as you can well imagine.
 
As it turned out, I had to have more surgery to close my stomach but the surgeon would not do it until I stopped smoking. I smoked for over 35 years so this was no small request but I think I was actually ready to stop. I took that medication (which shall remain nameless) that, in my opinion, is a miracle cure for smoking. Contrary to some reports, I had no side effects. Within ten days, I was done and able to have my closure surgery.
 
I was doing fantastic!! I was breathing well, losing weight, helping to mow the yard, and actually walking. Shortly after this, we moved back to Texas, which I was totally stoked about because my kids and grandkids were all here. As it turned out, though, it was a bit stressful at first and I began smoking again. Not a good excuse and I knew I could not do that to myself so I decided to take my miracle medication again and again it worked like a charm.
 
Well, okay, so there was one small issue this time. I was sitting at work and my hands started hurting. I looked down and literally watched myself blow up like a balloon. Apparently, the medication was reacting with another one I had started taking. From February to April of 2011, I gained over 60 pounds. The total since then is over 80 lbs and its all fluid. I have done everything that I have been asked to do but nothing has worked.
 
So here we are to today, July 16, 2012. In 24 hours, I will be having a surgery called the gastric sleeve. I am very excited about this and cannot wait to have my life back. It will be a huge change in how my husband and I live our life, especially for the first few months. First off, I really won't be eating for awhile. My husband is a fantastic cook and it will be as hard on him because we are foodies. I'm not really worried though. I'm so looking forward to, first, being able to breath and, second, hopefully, not being in so much pain every day. All the fluid has made breathing a huge issue for me. I'm asthmatic so not a good thing.
 
At 10:00 a.m. tomorrow morning, I will be happily, excitedly and enthusiastically going under the knife. I am going to continue to blog about my progress, not only for myself, but, hopefully, to help someone else along the way. I also am going to post a picture of me now which is a HUGE issue for me because as much as I am comfortable being me, I am not happy with me physically right now. But changes are a coming!!!
 

 

So I was at work today Wednesday the 29th, had a bitch at a Drs office kinda yell at me, and next thing I know I am crying. Back in my younger years as a new nurse I would cry whenever I had a confrontation. I hated that so much I trained myself not to cry. I haven't done that in many years so this was a shock. I think I am just in a fragile state. I have gotten alot done for my WLS here is my checklist
 

Pre op testing checklist


 
☒ Cardiac clearance redo
❏ Incentive spirometer “bag” from Kathy
❏ IVC filter placement scheduled IAH 9/21 w/CVIR
☒ Labs
☒ Chest xray
☒ Ekg
☒ Sleep study
☒ GI consult: colonoscopy& EGD
☒ Medical clearance
☒ Psychiatric consult
☒ Education program
❏ Nutrition and surgery pre op post op class@IFOH 9/20
☒ Behavior modification/compliance
☒ Nutrition counseling
❏ 1:1 Coaching with RN-IFOH bariatric education
❏ Doctor and Dietician appointment scheduled 9/12
 
I got some reassurance from my cardiologist. I had an appointment friday morning and I went into Atrial fib the afternoon before (right after my 2 hour nutrition class at my baritric drs office) I was still in FIB when I went to the appointment. I have been very worried that my fib state would postpone my WLS. In discussing it with him we worked through many aspects of my condition. The new medicine has changed the episodes from completely debilitating: I would be dizzy, short of breath with any exertion, and have a raging headache to functional: I do not have the headache, shortness of breath, or dizziness. I just can feel a little fluttery in the chest and I have limited energy. Thus I am able to go to work driving myself where as before I was laid up in bed. The Doc says the main thing is to maintain my anticoagulation and control the rate by doubling one of my meds while I am in FIB. I also will need to be off my anticoagulant prior to my IVC placement and pre op WLS. We will bridge that time with lovenox (a shot that anti coagulates you). So now I have a plan.
Unfortunately it is now saturday and I am still in FIB. YUCK! Just wish I would convert already.

I have rarely known a time that I was not overweight after I became a teenager. My mother was morbidly obese and I always grew up with the fear that I would also become obese. I remember sadly being embarrassed for my mother and I never wanted to be "the kind of mom" that my kids would have to be embarrassed for me either.
 
I was at a normal weight when I was 13, which I know now, but at 125 I felt fat. But I was determined to fight this and be thin. This changed for me when my grandmother told me that I was fat and that no matter what I did I would be fat like my mother. At that point I remember just giving up and started putting on the pounds. Throughout school I had no self-esteem and was a figure for redicule throughout elementary and high school, for various reasons. I generally weighed about 195 and was proud that I at least never hit 200, but I was miserable and never could do anything. I limited my life based on my size and let other's opinions of me determine who I was.
 
At 20 I met a good friend and together we started working out and dieting and I lost down to 145. It was wonderful and I became this happy positive person, I was outgoing and energetic and people called me "peppy". I loved it, but again I let others determine who I was. I met my husband to be and we dated , got engaged and married all within 8 months. Everything was great and then I got pregnant and then the pounds started packing back on. I remember crying that I would be be fat and he would stop loving me. He told me that he would love me but not respect me. That was a big issue and one we had to work through and I know today he really does still love and respect me but those words hurt badly at the time. His mother had even asked him if he could handle me getting fat, because she knew I would after meeting my mother.
 
Fast forward to 6 kids later and many diets and trying to lose weight and now I weigh 278 (again proud at least I never hit 280, how delusional was I?). I had become a couch potato, afraid to meet and make friends. Never felt worthy of being a friend and why would anyone want to be "my friend"? I isolated from others and didnt volunteer in my kids' classrooms, well rarely anyway. I know a lot of this was my own self esteem issues and fear, but my childhood taught me that I was not capable of fitting into the real world.
 
I did go back to college (at the push of my one friend and husband) and got my Master's in Social Work, but that let me experience even more prejudice. In class I would sit there the first day and no one would want to sit next to me. Soon we would have to seperate into groups for our group assignments and no one would want to be my partner, like they assumed I was stupid or something. The only nice thing was after the first group project people were wanting to be in my group because dang it I was a smart woman and worked hard. Over time I saw people begin to respect me, but I had to overcome their prejudice of fat people. I did graduate with suma cum laude with a 3.97 GPA and felt success for the first time in my life.
 
I had developed knee problems, back problems, pre-diabetes, arthritis, plantars faciatitis, depression and other such ailments. I was always tired and never wanted to do or go anywhere. Ok that is wrong I wanted badly to do everything but I was not able to do it, or I believed I was not able to do it. I had applied for WLS while I was going to college but I lost too much weight and I was denied. So last August I started my journey again to take my life back and become the woman I have always been, beautiful and proud, but hardly anyone had been willing to see me. So I began this journey, did the 6 month set of diet classes and all the other hoops. Fearful I would be denied again, but I was not and here I am 7 weeks post-op in the beginning stages of my journey.
 
My surgery was June 7, 2012. I had lost 11 pounds the week before surgery (after approval had come through - LOL) and at my surgery date I weighed 250, Today I weigh 221 which is a loss of 40 pounds since this began. I am not done, I have much more to lose and much much more to gain. I am ready to claim myself back. I am ready to claim back my health and my life. I am ready to explore the world that I have always been afraid to explore. I am ready to make my family proud of me. I am ready to be proud of myself, its about time!

It seems almost surreal to say that I am on my 5th day post-op. I had surgery on Friday 8/10 evening and came home from the hospital on Sunday afternoon. What a whirlwind this last week has been! It somewhat surprised me how much I needed to take care of in the 24 hours or so before surgery: pre-meds, and gathering items to take to hospital, as well as preparing to be away from home for a few days. Then it was off to Palms of Pasadena Hospital in St. Petersburg, FL, where I was so well cared for by the wonderful staff. My surgery time ended up being a bit later in the day than anticipated; however, the hospital staff was wonderful about keeping me posted and comfortable. The next thing I knew I was waking up in ICU and it was all over. My surgeon/hospital always require ICU for the first 18 hours or so after surgery. My NG tube and catheter were removed the next day when I was moved to a regular room in the Bariatric Center. My pain was not horrible because they had a morphine drip going that I could activate with a button as needed. I found that I really didn't have to use it very often. For the first little while after surgery I felt "teathered" in so many different spots by medical equipment. One by one, they came out and I was so happy to be free of all of them just before I left the hospital.
 
Since coming home, things have been good. My pain has been quite manageable with some discomfort at night and a very "full" feeling all the time. I really have not had hunger at all and am eating very little but making absolutely sure to get my vitamins and calcium in as instructed. I think the water requirement is really helping me to stay full feeling also. One thing I wasn't prepared for was coming home from the hospital about 7 pounds heavier than I went in. It may have been all of the IV fluids and swelling due to surgery, but by the second/third day home it was gone and the losing has started again. Thanks goodness! I mean, that was the goal of this thing, right?!
 
I actually have six small incisions (three across the bottom of my tummy above the bellybutton, two up my left side, and one at the top a little left of center). So mine looks more like a "C" than a "Y". I have to say that my surgeon, Dr. Ernest Rehnke, is EXCELLENT! He's well known and highly respected in this field and he's been doing these surgeries for decades. My incisions are not painful and only one of them has any substantive bruising. Everything seems to be healing up well and the incision areas are now itching--which is a good sign of healing.
 
For a busy person who never stays still for very long, it has been hard for me to take it easy and rest and not really DO anything. But I am trying because I know it's important to my recovery. I am also taking short walks as I can. It's August in Florida so I have to admit it's tough to make myself go out into the heat. Each day does get a little better and I hope by the end of the week I'll feel pretty normal... or at least my new normal. The doctor has me on full liquids until my 2-week post-op visit and if all is good he will move me to solid foods then.
 
Maybe all of this is more than you wanted to know, but maybe it will help someone who is a few steps behind me on this journey. We will get there! It takes time, patience, perseverence, and the ability to change. Well, I'm off now to read or write some thank you notes.
 
Until Next Time...!
 
Starting: 317#
Pre-Op: 296#
Today: 294.5#
Total Down: 22.5#

As I stated in my last entry, I am not much of a reader. However, that has recently changed. I cannot stop reading about the surgery, pre-op, post-op, the diet, amount of weight lose, etc. It's become a mini obsession. The more I read, the more I learn it is for me. I bought WLS for Dummies and it has been really great. Kind of a one stop shop for all phases of the process. Also bought Skinny Jeans. This is more of a psyche type book. The mental state you need to be in and why we look for this as an option. So far so good and both are on Amazon pretty cheap too. Also found some great videos on the subject: http://www.muschealth.com/video/Default.aspx?videoId=10693&cId=46&type=rel and http://www.upmc.com/Video/Pages/default.aspx?vcat=511%3b%230cc24f80-e320-4764-933f-2379e134e347%7cWeight+Loss. They are both hospital centers of bariatric excellence. Great info!
 
http://www.obeseinfo.com/default.htm Is another great website. I have found the more I learn the less nervous I become. It is also reinforcing I have made the right decision. I cannot wait for my first nutrition appointment on 8/14.
 
 
Happy Reading!!

A lot of people ask me " How does it feel to have lost all that weight?" and I never can find the words to express the joy I have. It's actually taken some time for me to be comfortable with my weight loss. Contrary to popular belief, losing the weight isn't the hardest part. Accepting the "new you" and every ones reaction to the "new you" is the tricky part. It amazes me sometimes how superficial the world really can be. You would think that weighing in at over 350 lbs would make you stand out but the truth is; it was as if I was invisible. No one really pays any attention to a person of that size, not positive attention anyway. There are things as a larger person that I never really gave much thought to that I absolutely have to now. For example, I never thought about being raped or attacked at my highest weight. The reality is that it is a much bigger challenge to prey on someone that big ( Not saying it doesn't happen, just not as often). I never gave fashion much thought either. Lets be honest, if it wasn't a Lane Bryant, Ashley Stewart, Torrid or Catherine's around then I would have been wearing bed sheets or curtains. At one point it was just a matter of "Is it going to fit?" versus " Does it look good on me?". Saying the word "NO" was also a huge challenge for me. I was a self proclaimed "People Pleaser". I figured by saying "yes" to everything and everyone, it would help them overlook my obvious weight problem. I also hid behind my sense of humor. People like funny people no matter what they look like. And me making fun of myself hurt less then someone else doing it.
 
The world seems much friendlier then it used to now. I get smiles and greeted everywhere I go. It's like men came out of nowhere. Its like I got a face lift and record deal all at the same time! I don't think one can ever get used to the attention given after such a physical transformation. I had to learn how to live a new life. I had to establish a "New Normal", life's new routine. It' s the little things that we take for granted that make such a big change in our lives. Walking up a flight of stairs without passing out, being able to fit at any booth at a restaurant, breathing/sleeping normally or just being able to wear denim jeans again made all the difference. With limited mobility, something as small as going to the mailbox was a task. Losing the weight opened up a whole new window of opportunity. I started dreaming again. I started setting goals for myself that actually seem attainable now. I was so used to my hum drum existence that I never really considered my future. Waking up with excitement for what the day will bring, grateful to just be alive and ready to take on anything instead of never wanting to leave the house, wanting to end it all and bracing myself for the worse. Sometimes I have to stop and ask myself "Is this really my life?".
 
Adjusting to my life's new routine is a day to day effort. Its like losing someone close to you. The absence of their presence leaves you lost and unclear about the future. It's like time stops and your stuck, not knowing what to do, what to think or how to live. Parting ways with my former self also left me with those same feelings. It too was like a death. That other person is gone and I'm now left with a "New me". I can no longer hide behind the weight or use it as an excuse. I have to be brave now. Walk in a confidence that I never had before. People see me now. Some even look up to me and are inspired by my story. It truly blows my mind how life can take such a turn for the better. Embracing my life's new routine has been both a rewarding and challenging experience.
 
Today, I want you to think about your life and all the changes that have come. Are you ready to find your "New Normal"? The funny thing about life is that NOTHING ever stays the same. You can decide to remain stuck or roll with the punches.

Tomorrow is my consultation at the University of Iowa. I have to be at the hospital at 7:45 am. I better not spend to much longer on the computer because I need a good nights sleep. I did not sleep well last night.
 
It is a strange coincidence that my appointment is exactly one year to the day that my daughter is getting married. I think that it is some what of an omen that this my be the path I should be on. I totally panic when I think about buying a dress for the wedding at the size I am now because it would look like a mumu and that is so not the look I am wanting!
 
I named my blog "Looking Forward" because I am so tired of beating myself up for my past mistakes and failures. I just want to look forward and feel postive about the future. Tomorrow I will find out if the lapband will work for me.

Tomorrow is my consultation at the University of Iowa. I have to be at the hospital at 7:45 am. I better not spend to much longer on the computer because I need a good nights sleep. I did not sleep well last night.
 
It is a strange coincidence that my appointment is exactly one year to the day that my daughter is getting married. I think that it is some what of an omen that this my be the path I should be on. I totally panic when I think about buying a dress for the wedding at the size I am now because it would look like a mumu and that is so not the look I am wanting!
 
I named my blog "Looking Forward" because I am so tired of beating myself up for my past mistakes and failures. I just want to look forward and feel postive about the future. Tomorrow I will find out if the lapband will work for me.

Hello World of blogging...
There's a 1st time for everything right? Even a woman with a demanding job, 2 girls ages 17 and 1 yr., a step-daughter (which also means an ex-wife) and a high maintenance husband can find time to sit down in front of a computer and put her thoughts in order. It seems like a simple way to motivate myself to be real honest. Journaling is one of the best methods for stress release, so I figure it couldn't hurt in this situation either. The question is do I care if only I benefit from my rambling or if anyone else is even interested in what I have to say. I guess we'll see...
 
I have been heavy most of my adult life. The reason is genetics! Yeah right! Yes, all of the women on my mother's side of the family are heavy. A slow metabolism does run in the family, however, I have learned over the years, we all control our own destiny. People do what is important to them...bottom line. In May of 2008 I lost my first husband. 1 event, 1 moment in time managed to alter my life forever. I thought my life was also ending. At the time I had a 12 year old daughter to continue to care for. I was no longer living for me, my complete focus...my every breath...every bit of my energy was put toward my daughter. In the process, I ballooned. I ate everything. Those people who get stressed and lose weight...I hate them. j/k (but am jealous) I stress and I gain weight just looking at food. It really isn't fair. As I got bigger and my daughter got stronger, I began to do a lot of self examination. If I don't take care of myself...my daughter may not have a Mommy either. That is scary! I decided to take the plunge and have lap-band. I'll admit...it seemed like the easy way. I know my limitations. I have NO will-power! My career involves me driving, driving and driving some more. So I sit and I get bored so I snack and drink soda to have the sugar and caffeine. I wanted help and the lap band gave it to me. It MADE me have smaller portions. It MADE me focus on proteins and vitamins.
 
I never regret having this done. I would do it again in a heartbeat...oh wait, I don't have to. I just have to get a fill.
 
More of my story at a later time...now its time for bed. More self motivation tomorrow

One week ago I turned a corner in my life. I am new - I feel differently about myself already. I feel like I used to before I gained all this weight = more confident, happy. Once I went back to work this week, I found I wanted to put more time into my appearance, I was so much happier at work, and was more productive, even though I was recoverying physically. I know this was the right decision, and I'm so excited to work with my band and get this weight off and LIVE!
 
Woo hoo!!! Graduating to soft, moist, mushy this weekend, and I'm ready. Rosemary chicken in the crock pot and some soft cooked veggies sound so good.
 
Have some domestic chores to do this weekend and am glad I'm up to doing a little yard work and housework!
 
I love my band!