Haley72

Hello fellow sleeve-rs, I have a long story to tell, but will try to keep you awake. Almost 7 years ago I was given a permanent illeostoymy due to Crohn's disease. I was diagnosed with Crohn's about 12 years ago. I tried all the treatments FDA approved and some I had to get from Canada. Because I had serious allergic reactions to all the "big guns" the doctors used to treat Crohn's. The treatment they all turned to was steroids. This led to a gain of 100 lbs. My decision to have gastric surgery was based on the recommendation I received from the Mayo Clinic after a full work up, from head to toe (literally). I was sick all the time. In and out of the hospital with blockages, dehydration, and poor nutrition. I also have osteoporosis at age 40. I had my sleeve surgery December 6,2011. I also had old scar tissue, mesh, diseased bowel, and fat removed during a 6 hour surgery. The first 3 days went as planned. Day 7 things started to go down hill fast. I spiked a fever of 104, my kidneys shut down, I had to have a 4 pint blood transfusion, and a leak developed in my abdomen that required a chest tube because the amount of Fluid leaked into my abdomen was so much it caused my left lung to collapse. I had 7 drains to deal with also. To make a long story short I spent 70 days in the hospital with the doctors trying to stabilize me. When I finally got to come home it was with IV's to maintain my hydration and TPN to maintain my nutrition as well as 2 drains. Home nurses were sent in to help and support my recovery. I did this for a month. Now 5 months out I have lost 50 pounds which I am thrilled about, but the complications keep poping up. I throw every time I eat, I continue to have diarrhea with concentrated gastric fluid it compromises the seal on my ileostomy bag sometimes as many as 5 times a day. Needless to say I am depressed, disappointed, and discouraged. When my family and I made the decision for me to have this surgery we had dreams and plans. Now we have complications and unexpected disappointments. I am so ready to go out into public with out worrying about throwing up or having a leak from my ostomy bag. All of the above is bad within itself, but it is nothing compared to the feeling of letting my family down. I have a wonderful 20 year old son at the University of Georgia who marches with the Red Coats, plays in a symphony, carries a 4.0,is in the honors program, partakes in an honors fraternity, and carries a full class load majoring in chemistry, completeing his minor in Spanish in August, and applying to the University of Georgia's School of Pharmacy. I feel like such a loser not being able to go watch his performances or visit with him or just give him the piece of mind that if he needed me I would be able meat those needs. I have 3 beautiful special needs daughters that need a full time mom on her toes ready to meet their many needs. They need the sense of security that their mom is able to take care of their needs. I have disappointed them so many times, I never let them know any plans I make for them until I know absolutely for sure I will be able to follow thru. My husband is the sole provider and picks up all the slack I leave which is alot. He misses the woman he married who enjoyed being intimate. Now he just has this person he has to take care of. I'm so self conscious about my ostomy bag and the scars from 37 abdominal surgeries I ca.n't imagine how he finds me attractive enough to want to be with. This was supposed to be the surgery of our family's dreams, instead it has been a night mare.