kzpmom

I have always been overweight my entire life . I was never really obese to a point where i would get teased or anything and I always had a boyfriend. I have to admit that i always had a lot of swagger and for the most part, i felt sexy and always had a ton of self confidence.

I got married ( after being widowed) in 2009. Then I really started dissecting my honeymoon pictures ... How did I get myself to look like that?? I hated how I looked ! The real kicker for me getting the surgery was that I didn't feel sexy anymore !!! How could I have let it get to that point?

After I had my 3 rd child I decided to start researching and decided to start the process.

At this point, I am highly disappointed in myself and my decisions . I am almost1 year post op and only down 30 lbs.
I am still disgusted by myself and can't stand looking in a mirror. I am happy that I am wearing an 18 instead of an almost 22 bottom and an XL top, but I had bigger dreams in my mind . Now, as summer approaches I find myself with the same struggles and issues with my body as before.

I think a lot of the issues come with laziness and lack of education ! I read all the literature when I needed to and quickly discarded everything post op ( thinking that the band would help me )

I find that I can still eat a ton and have no idea what being full feels like and have no clue what a green zone would be .

I need help!!!!!