Peachygal7

Soo..yeah...totally new to this blogging thing... I hope that this will be a great place for all of my hopes, fears, rants, and hopefully support for what I'm going through. I have had lots and lots of support from this site already and I'm sure it will continue.
 
So a little about me...I'm a teacher, about to move from Middle School Choir to Elementary Music. I am 31 and I feel like I am just now starting my life. I have always been big..you get out a picture of my kindergarten class and I'm the rolly polly in the back. I was constantly teased, taunted, and belittled by my peers and still made fun of by my students now. My senior year of High School I was a size 18/20, I don't remember a time at all that I EVER loved my body. BUT, I'm starting to now..
 
My "I'm DONE" moment happened this year when I stepped on the dreaded scale and the numbers were over 300...310 to be exact. I said..WTF and decided then and there that I need a HUGE change. My daughter is 6 years old and I can't play with her, I don't want to play with her..and it seems like the only thing I DO want to do is sit on the couch and watch TV...that is just WRONG!!!
 
I had spent a year with a personal trainer and got no where because of not being able to control my portions and what I ate.... I had tried weight watchers...and numerous other things...and then a friend of mine said WLS and I said..hmmm maybe...if only my insurance would cover it.... At the time my husband was working and I was on his insurance. No dice, but then he got laid off...for almost two years... I got on my work's insurance and wow...they covered WLS!!! YAY!!!
 
I went through a tough spot with my husband not wanting me to have the surgery, but I was determined and scheduled it.
 
I have to get on duty at school now, but I am super excited to say that I have lost a total of 46lbs since I had surgery on April 23rd and 4 inches around my chest...I'm back into an 18/20 shirt (my butt is still stubborn about loosing so that has only dropped to a 22/24, but from a 28..YAY!!)
 
I'm looking forward to beginning to love my body.

I bought a pair of 20's on a whim today and thought I'd just keep them in reserve and try them on every now and then for encouragement. Well...I WAS ENCOURAGED!!! They fit!!! I could NOT believe what I was seeing. My mind still sees 349 pounds, not 285. I'm pretty sure my wedding dress was a 20. I'm going to pull it out soon to see if it fits again. I might wait 10 more pounds for that though....
 
Wow. I'm still in stunned disbelief!! This is......just....I I I I I...don't have words. I'm giddy!!!
:lol:

Once being a pretty regular blogger and making the conscience choice to walk away a few years back makes this all the more interesting and fun to be writing again, So I started this endeavour (weight loss) to get my life back, last year around this time.... I think I find the most difficult part of this is not knowing where to begin. but here I go anyway...
 
I knew that my joy and hope was gone,
I knew that my weight was killing me and pushing me into an early grave and
I knew that for me, God was going to bring me out of the hole I dug for myself.
I didn't want one more year to escape me, So I thought to myself 2012 was going to be dedicated to me helping myself regain my Joy and life. I knew it was going to be a long road but, I was willing to give it my all for a future that I could smile about again
 
So, I started my weight loss adventure in late Dec 2011 right after Christmas
determined to cut a chunk out of this body and prepare for my gastric sleeve surgery, first week 10 pounds off. second week 7 pounds more, third week gained back 3 pounds, and the next week lost 1 pound- that did it for me... I had to lose 10 % of my body weight !
 
I knew I had to get strict on my intake, count everything and push on the physical part of my daily routine, which with being disabled by arthritis is so hard, It's excruciating- but I did what I dreaded doing-
being such a large size it's difficult being stared at feeling like you're a joke or
that you have no business to even be there and completely out of place
 
but I spoke to a trainer at the Y and told him exactly what I needed to lose and what I was physically able to do. He helped introduce me to the resistance equipment and late January 2012 I started 3 days a week for 20 min, slowly I started to lose again, and regularly losing 4-7 pounds a week with meal replaced shakes and one small meal at dinner.
 
eventually I increased my days to 5 doing 90+ min daily, getting stronger, seeing small changes in curves and a huge increase in muscle tone, sure I still have the fat hanging off those working muscles but now I can actually start to see them peeking out at me and that is really encouraging to say the least.
 
I was scheduled for surgery May 1st, I met my 10% and exceeded the required to 14% lost! the morning of my surgery I had lost 74 pounds pre-op and last week I was at 91 pounds down, I know this is a battle I face and some times will go slower and eventually get very hard to drop, but I'm in it, to win it.
and yesterday I was finally able to start back to the Y and I look forward to the weight to start dropping again
 
I felt urged to share and encourage others on their journey, so I decided to pick up my keyboard and blog again here and there about my journey.
 
 
The thing that makes this journey so rewarding are the small victories I can place in my heart, the tiny beautiful moments and things that average size people get to do daily without a second thought. Yesterday I went to Walmart and walked around shopping for well over an hour... something I was unable to do just 4 months ago without being in pain and winded, but yesterday was different!
during my shopping trip, I bought a belt.... yes a belt with a buckle and holes lol
what makes this wonderful for me is I'd NEVER bought myself a belt before. the only ones I ever had came as sashes on a dress or such. this time I fit into a real belt and even though it only closed to the second hole ... IT CLOSED!! PRAISE GOD !! and I bought it!! along with a sweater and several tanks in a size 3x that also fit. AMAZING.... these tiny victories bring me smiles and such joy because I know that more are coming, slowly but surely.
 
I wanted to share with others so maybe they would remind you to never give up your hope, it's never hopeless, and celebrate the smallest of victories!!
 
 
<3 Jenny