2BonederfulAgain

this reminds me of my failed attempt at 2 shakes and a meal a day. After a week I was crying "i miss chewing during the day" and I am scared of the post-op diet... I keep telling my husband, Yoli the b***h will be here visiting for a few days I will understand if you want to stay at your brothers house. I hope he can just deal tho...hes a big man however he eats like a little bird unless he is starving from not eating through out the day...he said he is going to try to do the post-op thing with me but with higher intake...lets see how that works.

Im dancing with you!!!i cant wait to be under 200 i havent seen a 1 starting number on the scale for about 7 years now! GO LYRA...

I am pre-op but I have started to buy a lot of new things, mainly stretchy spring and summer dresses. Im a dress kinda girl so I currently am in a 20 or 2x and Ive bought some knew lengths that are a 1x and I actually bought 2 cotton dressed that are a reg xl. They have some stretch in them--according to the average most ppl are saying they dropped sizes in 3 mths time so it will still be wearable at that point. You know in the summer you cant find summer clothes--so Im buying early and cheaply! I hit walmart up for tank tops they were 4 bucks I bought a whole crap load in a reg XL, they will fit at some point and when i need them they are there. I have decided not to buy pants or really jeans until I can really try them on and say yup these are it so as I have always worn since hitting a 16 and above I have lycra tights in every color and lots of yoga pants. Ny&Co sells stretchy dress pants so I will get a few of those for work they will still look pretty good loose. If you see something at a great price for the season that you will be in when you anticipate the weight loss I say buy it. In 3 months you can expect some change at least a size or 2 if not more so get yourself some capris and dresses...I go with dresses, if they are still short then throw tights under them and use as a long blouse and if they get big but your not the next size then throw a belt around it, thick high waist or thin low waist to give it a different shape!

YESSSS!!!!! This is exactly what one of my blogs was about, to tell or not to tell, WHY CANT THIS BE WORN ON OUR SLEEVE...y a secret? EFF THAT... Im doing it for me and just because you "wouldnt" then you cant judge. Ive had people say o i wouldnt do that and look at me crooked face and then i give them some schooling about it and all of a sudden they are signing up for the seminar...GTFOH!! I love this blog!

Do you have an Alfred Angelo store close to you...the plus size collection is amazing. I had to go to 5 davids bridals to find my dress. They all have different stuff in stock and I waited to last minute too.

KEEP WRITING...Im reading for sure!

BTW the first psych i called told me to pay $150 and give me my basic info and to just pick up my paperwork saturday morning...without seeing him or ever meeting him...I was look whoa this is some crooked ****! But maybe your husband needs one of those lol.

Maybe some can relate and maybe some wont but I feel like this forum has really helped me to be comfortable with my decision and open about my emotions and my life. This body represents my pain! Every excess pound represents something. All of the ups and downs of my life, bad decisions, dreams on hold... Everything... I had my psych eval today! I dont know what I was expecting...I guess more questions, but there were hardly any--maybe because I talk too much! Yesterday I had it out with my sister...full on brawl. My husband came into our place and instead of supporting me and hearing me...he added to my anger! I havent been very friendly lately... Im just tired of putting everyone elses happiness before mine. I thought that the events of my life these past few weeks would have really been dug through during this psych eval and I would be angry that because of allowing other people to control my emotions that I would have been found unfit for surgery or something...I mean everyone has issues right!? Regardless of how Im feeling about my relationships with other people I have really made this decision for me. Maybe because I am so focused on myself right now people who normally get all my attention and expect me to fix everything in their life now are angry with me because frankly i dont have time for it. TOUGH!! I cant help anyone anymore until I HELP MYSELF. I cant fix your life and help you be happy when this SMILE IS FAKE. A few tears fell when asked what was my last straw that I finally decided to move forward. I AM MY LAST STRAW. THE REALIZATION that I MATTER, and that IM IMPORTANT and that I NEED TO COME FIRST...the person staring back at me in the mirror is not the person I see when I look at pictures. That woman in the mirror is beautiful, confident, strong, looks amazing...etc etc. The person in the pictures is all of that but doesnt look as amazing as she thought when she put on that outfit she thought hid some imperfections. This body...does not live up to my view of ME...and Im tired of it holding me in like a prisoner. End result of Psych eval--IM READY FOR SURGERY...Im realistic about my expectations and I have a good feel of who I am right now and where I want to go. SOUNDS GOOD TO ME...ILL TAKE THAT!! Was your psych eval a scary thought? what happened?

Let them work that out...They approved it! You are only responsible for your co-pays deductibles etc, if not otherwise outlined in your benefits package. Dont worry about it--that isn't your battle (worked as an insurance broker for health insurance and non profits before) Focus on your diet and LOSING

HAHA! you went to a psychiatrist? I was careful to choose a psychologist for that very reason. I wanted someone more personable like a social worker...THAT SUCKS FOR YOUR HUSBAND what now? Im hoping my husband will be able to go in december, im adding him to my insurance in july since we just got married.

Gracias!! THOSE MFers...Im focused on me right now...get on board or jump off at the next stop!! My eval was like 20 minutes..in a big BIG BIG historic creepy house with CATS!! I was thinking o man this house is so gorgeous...but smells and thought about facebooking the address if no one heard from me after...weird! and the psychologist was like a 4 foot nothing little man with white hair--all i could think in my head was gosh this is some creepy ****!!

There is something else you said in one of your responses. You said you would be okay on your own and prefer it! I secretly feel that way...but I let that out in anger every chance i get...THIS IS THE ROOT OF MY RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM. SO WHAT IF WE CAN BE OKAY ON OUR OWN...the question is IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT... I know I dont want that...I love my husband...just because we can be and probably could be better (no responsiblity to anyone but yourself) there is something amazing and beautiful about marriage....and even more A MARRIAGE THAT CAN SURVIVE and BE REBORN...like we are after surgery! <3

I love to cook!! I rather cook it all and put the spread out and usually dont eat--I am always so full after cooking, even when not picking through it... That was a great spread...im coming out west to eat before this surgery LOL

I should buy a scale right!? LOL... I hate scales...i hate numbers! I am pre-op so that makes sense... whatever you do stay consistent i guess...if you go with the higher number always go with the highest number and do the rest thing a set 4 times all the time. maybe that will help with better tracking?!

THIS SOUNDS LIKE ME...I JUST POSTED ABOUT THIS!!!! My husband and I are in a rut! and Much like you I love him dearly and he loves me but MEN ARE SELFISH... I HAVE THE SAME ISSUES...especially in terms of money and what SCHOOL COSTS... We seem to have the habit of putting everyone before us and the moment we put ourselves first ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE and then we are the wrong ones which make us feel worse and we either compensate by giving in to what they need and forgetting about ourselves or shutting our emotions up and sucking it in. THIS IS BULLSHIT!! Do what you can to save your relationship...I know I am. But before that DO ALL YOU CAN TO SAVE YOURSELF!! Without a you a real you there is no relationship. Im learning this now too! This is why Im starting school again in May...right after this surgery that IM DOING FOR ME...I need to feel good about me before I can feel good about him...

YAY Enerfina!! 6 weeks out and down over 40 lbs! That is awesome...40 lbs would have me in ONEDERLAND!! yay!!!!

?! Originally I was thinking Im not going to tell anyone I am having this surgery, you know because people always have an opinion about what you are doing. I work in a really tight knit family setting, if you tell one person then everyone knows (theres only 7 of us in the main office, but there are lots of people in each program). So who cares THEY KNOW (I mean they are my other family!) But I dont want other people knowing. Is this weird?! I dont want the reaction of "O yolisse lost a lot of weight" and someone responds "o because she had that surgery" like if we dont have anything else to do, just get the surgery and life goes on and its fixed like LIPO and a TUMMY TUCK. They dont get it! Do I want to take the time to say "ACTUALLY, i had to do pre-op diet, and then surgery, then clear liquids for 2 weeks...TRY JUST DOING THAT!? and this and that" Or do I shrug that off like WHATEVER! Yesterday, I was talking to the Psych nurse here at my job (SISTER MAUREEN, the best NUN who you would never know is a nun--I love her) I just was picking her brain about the psych eval etc etc. and we were in close proximity to one of the receptionists from another program who asked "why the hell are you going through a psych eval?" I gave her the answer most people would expect from me "Because IM F*#% NUTS!" LOL !! Then I said "No Im going through the Weight Loss Surgery Approval Process, I mean just cuz Im nuts doesnt mean I should have to be Fat and Nuts! DAMN!" Laugh Laugh and then she responded "O my...you're doing that! " (IN MY MIND) YES IM DOING IT...and I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK BC 100034534 people can say DONT DO IT(well maybe not that many), but until you have been in my shoes YOUR OPINION DOESNT MATTER! Until you have journalled all the food touching your lips for 3 weeks and staying under 1300 calories and walking/running 3-5 miles a day and when you weigh in you have lost 2 POUNDS then BBBYYYYEEEE !!!!! and had to be on medication that makes you so nauseous that you cant even talk without gagging, and have to ultimately face your husband and say to him "I can never give you children because of my weight and the complications it causes in my life, and that I will likely suffer many many miscarriages and possibly birth an unhealthy child" then you cant say I SHOULDNT DO IT. So anyway...this sounds like I dont care about what people say because Im going to do it anyway (which is true) but the question is...DO I EVEN WANT TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL THE TIME or DEAL WITH THE OPINIONS! I know many of you are going through this same battle...what are your thoughts!?

KISHA!!!! MOM OF 7?! WHOA....im doing this so i can have hope for maybe 1 in the future...but ill take more!! yay...1 month!!!!

SURE WILL!!! I cant wait to put up my little ticker on the end of all my posts AHHHH!!

Im wearing it on my sleeve...but it really is about personality! People whisper regardless of what any of us do. I have a really good girlfriend who lost 200 PLUS LBS on her own (over 3.5 yrs) and people talk s&(?* all the time about her. Im not worried about my work people...like i said they all already know. They knew when I went to the seminar--I went in like hey Im going to this..yal wanna come? see my comment before this. I dont think it is something to feel shame about...Im more ashamed of my lack of motivation to get up and look pretty coming to the office, and I come in with leggings and a messy ponytail all the time. Time for me to wear HIGH HEALS again and stop hiding behind the scenes especially at my own events, I wont even sign my name to my amazing projects because I dont want to show face--that is SHAMEFUL.

MMMEEEEE TOOO!!!!!!! YAY!!! I had May 9th and then changed to the 16th!!! SOOO EXCITED and SCARED! OOO pre-op diet...dreading!! but we can do it!!!!