tmorgan813

I miss the 115lbs I've lost since April. Yes, you read that right. No, I'm not crazy. I just being honest....well, kind of honest. For the record, I don't REALLY miss the weight. I just miss the extra padding and HEAT that it gave me. You see, I have always been what I considered "warm blooded". Apparently that isn't the case. Apparently, extra fat keeps you extra warm. This is not a good thing in those 100 degree, 90% humidity days but, during the winter months it really makes a difference. For the record, I have never been a fan of the cold. I grew up in a resort area and my idea of a perfect day is getting to the beach by 9am and not leaving until 5pm. I love the warmth of the sun on my skin and the sound of the waves hitting the shore line. I even love the fall. Warm days, crisp nights are wonderful. But, this cold, snowy weather.....it's just not for me. In the past month, I have learned the art the layering clothes. To be honest, I am still having problems with this one. Not because I don't get the idea behind it, but because I have never liked having to "bulk" up more than I had too. I have also learned that my heater refuses to put out any heat despite the temperature I put it on. This can cause a girl to go insane when she's layered up and under two blankets while begging the cat (trust me, I wish it was a dog), to jump up on my lap just for the extra warmth while I drink ANOTHER cup of hot tea. As I sit here typing this, I have a heating pad on me, a cup of tea, and three layers up top, two layers on the bottom AND an blanket!!! I have checked my vitamins. I have tried eating more. I have tried eating less. I have used heating pads. I have begged my husband to curl up next to me in bed just to use him for his body heat. I have done almost everything I can except turn the heater up AGAIN. I refuse. There are people who can handle the temperature being much lower than what mine is set at and they are much smaller. Therefore, I know it's possible to not be this cold all the time...or at least that is what I have been told. I am holding on to the belief that the rumors are true and one day I'll be warm when it's cold outside. One DAY!!!! Oh what a day that will be. So, here's my question....as always, I have one.....AM I THE ONLY ONE? How are you all handling the changes in you bodies ability to regulate it's own heat?

Thank you very much.

You look amazing!!! Keep up the great work.

Today I want to talk about photographs and memories..(cue Jim Croce). I have been looking back at photos trying to see just how much my body has changed since April and you know what I found? NOTHING. Apparently fat people don't like having their body photographed...who knew? LOL So, I started thinking back and I clearly remember telling people to only photograph my face...or my chest up. I didn't want my stomach or any other part of my body placed in a digital image...or if you're old school, on film. I can't even remember when I was ever happy with having someone take a full body picture of me. There are a few of me in high school where I look good and happy and maybe some from college but to be honest, I don't' think I ever liked seeing my body in a photograph. That is until now. Now, I am not saying I'm tiny or ready to try out for "Next Top Model", but I will say, "DAMN!!!! I LOOK GOOD". LOL Does that make me sound cocky or full of myself? Maybe I should just say, "WOW, looking good.". I even look back to photos taken this summer, only a few months after surgery and I can see a huge difference in my body. The scale hasn't gone down a huge amount, but my body is changing....and I love seeing the changes. So, I figured I would share some of my body shots with you all...and even a few close ups. the close ups are funny to me becasue I look like a totally different person. But here's my real question. How are you all feeling about photos of yourself? Are you more apt to get in the photos now? Are you shocked at what you see? I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this as I can't be the only one who has to change my thought process when it comes to photos. I am still aiming mostly for my face when in a picture....but when I do get that one in a few body shot....I'm pretty happy with what I see. This Summer New Years Eve Trying to be a little sexy for hubby Old face shot (before surgery) New Face Now, i can't wait to look back another nine months and compare again. No matter how difficult this can be at time...it is so worth the ride....just make sure you take pictures so you have the memories.

Thank you all for your kind words. I haven't blogged much lately and I have to admit that I do miss it. Maybe I will try to blog more int he new year....and no, that's not a resoluton. LOL

Thank you very much. Hope you have a very happy new year!!!

Well, it's the end of another year and to be honest, I still have to remind myself to write 2012 on my checks (when I actually have to use one). Therefore, writing 2013 is going to be a huge pain in the rear for me. Now, I am not one to make resolutions. To be honest, i don't think I've ever kept one I've made so I finally realized that there was no reason to make any. If someone wants to change, they will...it won't just magically happen becasue it's January 1st. Trust me, I wish that was a case. If it was, we wouldn't all be constantly working to get/remain healthy and thin. Also, there would be a lot of surgeons out there who wouldn't be as wealthy as they are right now...thanks to us. You are welcome surgeons...from all of us. Sorry, i digress. Now, I thought I wold take the time to look back on my year and share my wisdom with you all....or at least what I think is wisdom. It could be a big ole pile of steaming crap, but I'm going to share it anyway. Lucky for you all, if it is crap, you don't have to smell it since you're reading it. So, here is what I've learned...or at least began to learn in 2012. 1. It's true, you do feel much better when you stop smoking. But, it's also true that even after a year, there are times you still want one....even if it's only for a second or two 2. Weight loss surgery is NOT an easy fix. It's hard work and I battle every day with changing my negative food thoughts and behaviors. But, it does get easier. 3. Getting frustrated becasue you can't eat what others are having is normal. Crying and yelling at your husband for eating pizza in front of you is PMS. 4. Fiber is CRITICAL after WLS 5. Stalls are normal...even if they last for a while 6. Getting down for being in a stall is just as normal....but remember number 5! 7. My weight loss is not like anyone else's. There are people who have lost more or not as much in the same amount of time. 8. Going from a tight size 26-28 to a good fitting 16 feels better than any food can taste 9. Taste buds change....which can be good and bad. 10. Pulling out my clothes from the dryer and having to double check to make sure they are mine due to how small they look is the coolest thing about doing laundry 11. Sex is better....and it was really good before hand 12. Raging hormones can make you a b***h to live with so make sure you live with someone who truly loves you.....I'm lucky because I would have divorced me if I were my husband 13. Make up sex while having raging hormones is even better than better 14. My boobs hang low....(cue my "hang low song"....for all those who have read my prior blogs) 15. I miss my boobs...and my butt. 16. Surgery can give me my boobs back and I'll still be thin....sounds better than having perky, big boobs right now. 17. Onions don't sit well with me anymore 18. I fart....a lot since surgery. 19. I really hope that stops soon....but not as much as my husband does 20. I have a rabbit living in my colon....and we've learned to live together 21. Pain after surgery isn't as bad as I thought it would be...and they didn't give me the right meds to deal with the pain 22. Walking is the best thing to do to get gas out 23. I am not perfect and sometimes I eat things that I shouldn't...but I don't eat much 24. Alcohol has a WHOLE different affect on me now.....that can be good or bad...good for me, bad for hubby who doesn't like me tipsy. LOL and last but not least 25. Laughing through all the ups and downs is the only thing that can keep you sane So, with all these little tid bits learned, I plan to go into the new year with an open mind and a willingness to continue to make positive changes, the knowledge to know I'm not perfect, and strength to say no to the bad food (most of the time). I hope you all are able to do the same. Happy New Year everyone.....here's to a safe, happy, and healthy year ahead. Now for some funny stuff.....LOL Have to remember to eat so that I don't look like this in the New Year!!! Have to remember not to eat too much so this doesn't happen....again....LOL Most importantly, I have to remember to be happy with who I am...on the inside and out.

I was very worried about the fluids as well. It's funny, becasue I NEVER thought I could eat with out drinking. I also didn't "practice" before surgery. However, it is much easier than I ever thought. The first week or two I HAD to rinse my mouth out with water (and spit) after each meal. Now I make sure I wait 15 before and 15 after. Every once in awhile I will take a SMALL sip during but it's rare. My biggest issue is "sludge food" meaning food with no real nutrients. I have days where all I want to do is pick at it...then I have days where I go all day and realize all i have had to "eat" was a protein shake. It's like anything else....practice makes perfect. It's not easy...but it's not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. As for the vitamins, it becomes second nature. Again, I had the same worry. As for soda. I had one sip and two things happened. One, I HATED the taste and Two, the bubbles made me feel horrible. You will be very surprised to see how much your taste buds change after surgery. I was a smoker and I am still surprised at things I thought I would still like and can't stand. The BIGGEST issue for me was protein. Before surgery I could handle Whey....after surgery I gagged every time I tasted it...no matter how small amount. I was lucky and found Lean Shake (chocolate) from GNC. They are a little pricy but so worth it (at least for me). I have not heard good things about the other flavors but everyone is different. Just remember that no matter how much you learn in class...you will learn so MUCH more once you come home from surgery. FYI, don't try to get all your protein in the first week or two after surgery...if you can that's great...however, most people can't. Focus more on getting your liquids in so you don't end up back in the ER for dehydration. I found sipping from a 1 ounce cup was good for me as it helped me see exactly how much I was getting in. Also, I got so sugar free Popsicles and they really helped. Sorry for the book. If you have any questions, please in box me or ask on here. I will try to answer them. I am not perfect but I have been working on doing it right. Since April 12th, I've lost 120lbs...so I'm not complaining. One last thing...all those fears are normal but keep this in mind. I have NEVER regretted my decision....even the first few weeks after when you're full of gas and in pain....once you see the numbers going down, you don't care how much pain you went through....just don't forget that pain and the work you will have to do or you can end up sabotaging yourself. Good luck

Merry Christmas Everyone. Ok, I'm a day late and a dollar or two short but it's the thought that counts. Hope you all enjoyed a wonderful day with family and friends. I had a very interesting and different Christmas than I normally have...but I have to say, it seemed to end with wonderful memories and a great story to tell when I'm old and frail. So, my day started tthe same as it normaly does on Christmas. Nothing really exciting. Due to finacial reasons, my husband and I did not exchanged gifts so there was no "under the tree excitment" to be had here. Not that it's a bad thing at all. We've always said that as long as we have each other, we don't need much else. I mean having a roof over our heads is REALLY nice and I wouldn't want to give it up but if we had to...well, then we would have to figure something out...TOGETHER. Now, my normal day consists of going to my parent's house for Christmas dinner with my sister and her family (husband and four children). I was really looking forward to the family time until I made the call to my parents to wish them a merry Christmas. What do I hear? Phlem!! Lots and lots of it. Not only can my mother barely talk, I hear my father in the back ground doing the same thing. Long story short....Christmas at the Morgan's is CANCELED unltil further notice. So, my husband and I venture out to find something to cook for dinner. I didn't have anything that would rise to occasion of a "Christmas Meal" so I figured i would go get either lamb, prime rib, or a ham...yes, I know one of these things is not like the other...but hey, at least it's not CHICKEN!!!! LOL So, we go store to store...meaning we went to two (we live in a small town) and much to my surprise, they were closed. We even went by our 24-7 Walmart and that was closed too. HUMMMM...now what? Again, we take a mental inventory of what we have in the freezer....CHICKEN...and maybe some hamburg. Neither seems worthy of a Christmas feast. So, I get an idea...let's see if the Chinesse place is open today. Sure enough it is. Yippie. Looks like we will have our own version of "A Christmas Story" this year. So, around 2 I call and place our order. Not sure why I odered so much but I am sure my husband can handle most of it. I also figured due to my Christmas day food intake already, i would be able to pack more than normal away in my little tummy. I am still not sure where all the extra room came from. So, we changed our clothes so that we wouldn't be eating in our P.J's, took the five mile drive to the Chinesse store and picked up our food. Once home, my hubby set the table (as best he could at the last minute) and we sang...."Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra, Ra Ra, Ra, Ra." I figured it would be very insensitive to ask the people at the resturaunt to sing "Deck the Halls" like in the movie...I mean it is a complete stereotype and I in no way wanted (or want) to offend anyone. Then, we ate...and laughed...and talked. We talked about how sometimes the best memories come from an unexpected change of plans. And to be honest...I agree. After dinner, we enjoyed a bottle of wine and some ciders. Took some photos and watched "A Christmas Story." Around 9:30, I went to bed with a full tummy, a fuzzy head, and a huge smile on my face. Don't get me wrong, i would have loved to spend the day with my family and I wish they weren't sick...but it's nice to have a story to tell for years to come. I hope you all made your own memories yesterday and I hope they were good ones. Merry Christmas everyone!!! This was our Christmas Feast....notice, there is no peaking duck This is my meal...and no, I didn't finish it all. LOL Me Showing off my Husband't "lighting skills' (3rd floor) Also, I find it so funny that when I saw this photo I was like, "WOW, I'm thin!!!" And, I said that while wearing sweats that were two sizes too big, a huge oversized sweat shirt, and a bulky coat...again...too big. Funny how times have changed. LOL And of course, the chopstick shot Last one...Me by the tree

I am sorry you haven't been feeling well but I have to laugh at the emotional issues you're having. My hormones are going CRAZY!!!! I am seven months out and every month before my period, I become a raging hormonal crazy lady that can't control anything I say or do. Last nigth my husband and i were in an arguament...and I was actually happy to be fighting!!!! That's not like me. Anyway, I went for the jugular with him....hit him right were I knew it would hurt the most. Once I did it, i felt horrible. That' s not me at all. So, I am not sure why, but after my surgery, my PMS har become supercharged. I can eat anything in site (and today I have)....only went over my goal (calorie wise but ly like 300....but still...that's a lot). I have never had hormal issues before so i am not sure why I have them now. Monday morning, I am makeng a an pat with a girl doc to see if something is wrong. I am thinking my hormaone levels are off wack. I am tellng you this so that yo can see you're not the only one. I would call your doc and have them do some blood work. The only good thing for me is that my husband hasn't killed me yet.....I am sure he's wanted to, but apparently my life insurance isn'tnt that good. LOL So, best of luck to you...pray I don't kill my husband and hopefully we can both get through this together. LOL

I agree with both of you. My issue is that he or she is putting him/herself in danger. What if a car doesn't see him/her? Also, you can't walk thru a drive thru (I tried in college after a long night...hehe) and you can't ride your bike through...so why can this person go on his wheelchair? Also, is this how lazy we as Americans have gotten? All the doors are handicap assessable at this McD's. I just don't get this extent of taking the easy way, Even at my heaviest, I did more than i could with my bad back. So I don't feel bad for people who just don't want to do something...not saying that is the case here...I don't know the story behind this photo. All I know is I took it with more questions than answers.

I am not going to make any comments....though I have a few. Just a little back story. This was taken in my home town, by me. I was at the bank and looked over and saw it. couldn't believe my eyes. What are your thoughts? Am I the only one that thinks there is something REALLY wrong with this? same photo....in case you can't see the smaller one:

Best of luck. You are much better than I was right after leaving post op. I was so out of it I could barely say "I love you" to my husband. let alone get on the internet. LOL

Love this. My husband just looks as me and asks, "Really? I thought for sure I married a woman!!!" LOL

Today we are going to talk about the high price of gas. Not the kind you buy at the pump, but the kind we expel from our bodies. Don't pretend like you don't fart...we all do. And, if you've had WLS, you are probably like me and have more gas now than you have EVER had in your life. I am not sure if it's the extra vitamins, the fiber, or just the fact of the surgery, but my gas and bloating has increased 1000xs. If you don't believe me, you can ask my husband...and my chiropractor (more on that later). Now, I grew up in a home where farts weren't something that were hidden. I mean we learned to have some respect about them. Don't do it in public, or in front of company, and if you can, leave the room before you release your gas out of respect to the others in the room. We also learned that it was something that EVERYONE does. Except my sister....but I still swear she's lying through her beautiful teeth. It's not something to be ashamed of, but you still shouldn't just let one rip in the middle of a restaurant or a store. Or even worse, be one of those people who does the silent by deadly ones and then acts like it's someone else's and complains about about the smell (yes, I'm talking about you, oh hubby of mine) After surgery, we all learn the need to expel the gas in our bodies any way we can. It helps with the healing process and we're told it's a good thing. Also, after surgery, they don't really stink so no matter how loud or silent. That is no longer the case. After almost eight months, I have learned that no matter what, I am now a fart machine. I can no longer hold then like I could before surgery. Hell, sometimes I don't even know they are looking for a way out until POOF....and there I stand or sit looking just as shocked as everyone else. I fart in public, even when I try so hard not to. I fart in my sleep. I fart in the morning, afternoon, and evening. And, to make it worse, I no longer have those no smell farts. Nope, now I have the ones that should be bottled and sold to the US military as a gas agent. It's worse than mustard gas. I know, I made some once...not on purpose. My cat peed outside the litter box and I thought the best way to deal with it was to pour bleach on it and then wipe it up. WRONG. My eyes began to burn, my throat became itchy and tight, I even became light headed. I literately had to leave and wait for about an hour before I could return to finish cleaning.......YES, that is now what I can produce off 10 oz of food a day at most. And since I know there is no way I am alone here, I decided to tell you a few funny stories. 1. The Best Alarm Clock Ever Made The other night, my husband fell asleep on the couch. This is nothing new as he seems to think that the T.V. + couch =sleep. So, I continued to watch the movie that I had on. Around an hour and half after he dozed off, I felt it. The need to let some gas out. I knew I had been lucky all day and they had not been foul smelling so i figured that since he was asleep, I would not leave the room (which I do try to do since I had surgery). So, Poof....there it is. And within seconds, I smell it. It was the worst smelling fart of my life. It didn't just say hello and leave. No, it became an unwelcome guest and decided to stay and watch the show with me. Now, to make matters worse, my husbands head was closer to my backside than my front side. Our couches are in an L shape and I was leaning the other way. Therefore, this fart was a dead bulls-eye for my husbands face. "Stay asleep, Stay asleep" I kept thinking over and over. Then I saw it. The twitch of his nose, the squint of his eyes....the toss and turn....and BAM, he's awake. Now, I didn't say anything at first. But after about 2mins, he says, "I am so sorry i must have been really gassy in my sleep. It stunk so bad it woke me up from a dream!" Now, I have an out. Do I take it and tell him it's alright and it happens to all of us? NOPE. I fess up. His response, "Oh thank goodness, I was wondering when my farts became so deadly!!" Yes, that's right, I out farted a man and even he admitted that my fart was worse than ANY he had ever had. I hate to agree with him, but I think he's right. 2. The Chiropractor (the day after the alarm clock fart) So, as you can imagine, I'm still gasy and they still smell horrible. But, i still went to my chiropractic appointment becasue to be honest, I needed a really good crack. Now, before I went back, the doctor, receptionist and I were chatting and I tell a story about when I let out a small toot in my old chiropractor's office (no smell) and how embarrassed I was. I must have said I'm sorry a million times. We all got a good laugh and when I was called back, I told myself that no matter what, i was not allowed to let gas out any hole...no matter what!!! So, we do the adjustment and she goes to put these blocks under my thighs (they help alignment) and right then, poooooffff. It was silent and that scared me to death. So, i knew I had to fess up. I mean come on, if it was even half of what the one yesterday was like then they wouldn't be able to use that room for days. So, I told her. I turned red. I told her about waking up my husband and that if it stinks, I am SOOOOOO Sorry. She laughed and finished up with me and even thanked me for my honestly. Apparently most people don't even say anything.....like she won't know it was them. LOL. Well, I thought I was off the hook. i thought for sure it was odorless. So as I was grabbing my keys and phone, I hear my doctor say this, "So-and-So, can you please go spray down that room once Trish leaves?" i am not sure how I managed to make it out of there with any dignity. Lucky for me I have a very good doctor with a wonderful sense of humor. That is the only reason I'm not looking for a new doc to crack my back now. So, I have finally given in to the fact that I am a gassy woman. No matter how hard I try, i can no longer be lady like all the time. I know I can't be the only one of us out there with stories like this....so what's your most embarrassing gas story since surgery? I would love to know...or else I'm just going to feel like an all alone fart queen. And, that's one title NO woman wants.....EVER!!!!