AliveAgain

This is a big one for me this week as I've been having a tough time emotionally and mentally with some things going on, and my "head hunger" has come back to the forefront of my thinking. When I'm sad, I want comfort foods. Thankfully I have not broken down at all and have stuck with the program and my weight loss is still progressing. But even today, after a tough session with my therapist, I really wanted to hit the Jack in the Box. Granted, I justified it by saying I'll just get chicken strips and eat two of them. I was halfway there when I stopped at a light and made a hard u-turn saying out loud, "Just go home! GO HOME NOW!" and I did. I came home and made a Protein shake instead. I was hungry (hadn't had enough protein today) and emotional -- two weaknesses. It just goes to show how there is more to this surgery than just the incisions, gas, and pills. It's about knowing what you got in trouble in the first place and taking control. I personally know that having the sleeve has been the best and most consistent tool I've had in weight loss ever. Before, I'd diet, I'd exercise, I'd get into a program and inevitably I'd lose momentum after 2-3 months. Having PAID for the surgery (a small chunk of savings that could have gone to SO many other things), gone through the cutting, the healing and that horrible first month -- I NEVER want to do it again. That does not mean I regret ever doing it -- just the opposite -- now that I have done it, I have so much motivation to never have to do it again! Not to mention seeing the results for the first time in six years! Yes, my weight yo-yo'd some in my twenties, but I've never had to lose this much weight before. To know I've been able to lose 50 pounds in three months, is just amazing.

Yes, my surgeon told us at the pre-op seminar that the sleeve absolutely does stretch. But slowly and over years and years. Even when it does stretch, it only goes from holding 3-4oz of food to 3x that, at best 9-12oz of food. In fact, another sleever posted a great image of this a little while back: http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/31265-sleeve-size-after-surgery-and-4-years-later/page__fromsearch__1 My doctor said it may feel like the stomach stretched in months 2-3 merely because swelling is going down from surgery and the lining is healed. But it's actually becoming the size they want it to be. Remember, a normal stomach can hold up to 60oz!! Which is why that stupid show "Man vs. Food" exists, though it's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

My doctor told me the best way to measure solid foods is using a food scale as measuring cups are best for liquids and powders. Since an ounce is a unit of mass, I prefer grams which is a unit of weight (the metirc system is so much better). One ounce measured of a powder or liquid is roughly 28 grams, but that does not equate with some denser meats like chicken or pork. Eh, but I think they're all pretty close. Yes, I am experiencing this as well - I can take in 4-5oz of food and be fine where I used to not be able to more than 2oz. Sushi is a prime example: 2-3 pieces of sashimi, some miso soup, and I was done. Now I can do 4-5 pieces (but I stop myself at 3.5-4), plus veggie and maybe one piece of a roll (I scrape off the rice). It's too soon for the stomach to have stretched, that takes years. But it will stretch, there are pictures from GI series that show it does happen. For two months out, my doctor said it's mostly the swelling that is gone now so the "real" stomach we're going to live with for the next few years is finally making an appearance. All the more reason to practice good habits, food journaling, and measuring!!

Yes, absolutely. It really is as though blinders have come off and now I really see how I must've looked when I was at my heaviest. I see a lot out on my daily walks, barely moving, shuffling feet or choosing to sit on the bench instead. One woman looked absolutely depressed and it took all of me NOT to stop and ask her how she was doing. I see them choosing the elevator instead of the stairs and want to grab them and tell them to come with me!

Maguro, sake, unagi (sushi) and it was YUMMY!

I highly recommend the Unjury and Nectar brands. They are 20-24g protein per scoop mixed with water, milk, soy, broths, etc. To boost for more protein, I'll usually use 1.5 scoops. I like making SF Jell-O with the unflavored Unjury to boost the protein. You'll most likely be on clear to full liquids for a few weeks, depending on your doctor's diet plan for you. Everyone's doctor is different. Mine had me on fluids for two weeks until I went to mushies. Then it was non-fat Greek yogurt, small curd cottage cheese which I still use today. After about a month, I was able to introduce shrimp, chicken (breast meat), turkey, scallops, fish, and some of the lighter cheeses. Can't stand the Isopure and don't do many of the ready-to-drink mixes as most are made with milk and I still can't do more than 4oz of skim milk every few days.

Can't STAND the Isopure... I don't blame you for getting sick off them!

Are you pre- or post-surgery? Which shakes are you drinking? I went through a period after surgery where nothing tasted good except Jello and the shakes felt like torture. But by the 2nd week it got better, and now I barely notice them. I have used only nectar and unjury brand's of whey Protein isolate. They have lots of flavors and varieties, as I was so sick with vanilla and chocolate (still have a hard time with them). Are you using milk as a base to mix with or are they premixed with milk? Sometimes lactose doesn't go down well after surgery, and dairy makes congestion worse with a cold/flu. Maybe try soy, rice, or almond milk as an alternative? If it doesn't get better, I would call your doctor. Good luck!

I was consuming 60-70g protein, 64oz or more total of fluids, and about 400-500 calories in my second week.

Thank you for compliment! It's the best picture I've taken in years, and it was done using Photo Booth on a raining, boring day! HA!

I'm only in my 9th week and I've had about 3-4 stalls now. And yes, they are INFURIATING! But they do inevitably break, so hang in there the best you can. There is no magical cure other than staying on your diet, talking to your nutritionist to see if you need to lower/up your calories and/or Protein, drinking as much Fluid as you can, and trying to stay active. Mine tend to show up around my TOM, of course, then break right when I start. They also tend to break when I stop obsessing and sometimes after a "rest" day from exercise, when I only wash the car or do housework instead of working out or doing an hour of walking/biking. Keep reminding yourself that 43 pounds in 4.5 weeks is an AMAZING loss! Seriously, could you imagine losing that on your own before surgery?! Congratulations!!!

What the other posters have said is right on target, but I especially believe in the idea that we're not giving up food -- we're just giving up the AMOUNT of eat we used to eat (like Kimberly said). I really struggled with the idea mentally that I will never taste my parent's homemade cooking again, my husband's wonderful recipe's, or my favorite dishes eating out. But once I was able to go to solid foods, I realized I can still have those things just in moderation. Granted, I'm still being very watchful of what I eat having gone through a few stalls already. But when my husband was comped apple pie the other night at a restaurant, I had the smallest bite I think could ever exist. I mean it literally fit on the end of ONE of the prongs of the fork. But that bite was so amazing, and full of flavor. I savored it and was happy that I didn't want anymore. I was full of of 2.5oz of an unbuttered lobster tail and some broccoli! And yes, the waiter asked me three times if I was sure I didn't want them to prepare my tail with butter nor serve it drawn on the side I know eventually the weight will come off, I will get sick of being so diligent with my food journal, and I'll let the not-so-good stuff back in. But at least I know I won't be able to have that second portion of Pasta - hell, I'll be lucky if I can get through a 1/3 cup of pasta! Even if I lapse, I'll have this wonderful tool to remind me when I've had just enough. And it will be there to help me get back on track when I need to, along with the knowledge of what I know I need to sustain. Before this surgery, I thought 600 calories was starvation. There is a nagging voice in my head that still tells me that from time to time. But that's because before I was dieting at just 1000 calories, but still using caffiene, carbs, and sugar in that diet. I wasn't always watching what the calories were made up from! Now, I feel the best I've felt in YEARS and it's like it's clicked in my head. It's become natural instinct to go for the Protein before anything else. I've truly realized my relationship with food was very attached to my emotions and memories. Food became a source of celebration that it was the weekend, that I made it through a difficult deadline at work, and then on the darker side it became a comfort when I felt rejected by coworkers, or my self-esteem was extremely low. Little did I know I was making it worse. Now, I have so much time to do other things and not think about food or where I'm going to go for food later or what treat I'm going to pick up later. My food is there and it's for nutrition, not for kicks. Yes, I will still enjoy my Dad's chicken bog next time I visit, but I'll skip or go easy on the rice and have more chicken. Now I get to choose when I want to ENJOY the food instead of it having control over me. Now I'm able to cope with those emotions and moments with something other than food like taking a walk or bike ride, cleaning up around the house or doing a project. Or just enjoying the fact my husband hugs me ALL the time now because he loves that he can get his arms all he way around me again :wub: :wub:

Yes, mostly whiteheads around my chin and some on my cheeks. I actually had a few on my abdomen, if that isn't weird. Nothing big or scarring though.

Not sure how far out you are from surgery, but it sounds normal. The largest incision by the belly button is where they inserted a tube-like instrument to remove the excised portion of your stomach. It took about 4 weeks before I didn't notice mine anymore. I'm 9 weeks out now and I still get the very slightest bit of tenderness on one edge when rubbing vitamin E on that incision. Do be careful lifting too much. Can you borrow or get hold of a roller bag instead?

Have you had your magnesium levels checked recently? I've battled low-magnesium for years and muscle pain is one of the symptoms. Magnesium is a wonderful muscle "relaxant" that we normally get from foods, but not foods we're eating right now. I like to use magnesium citrate in the powder mix form, with water. Don't need it every day, but maybe once or twice a week. Things like antibiotics (that ShapeShifter mentioned) can rob the body of magnesium. Of course it could be mostly related to increased activity, but talk to your doctor if it persists.

My surgeon had a non-insurance fee that covers services insurance does not allow at all. Basically, I pre-paid for the next five years of services from him and his office. Office visits, dietician, registered nurse, supplement discounts, support groups, cookbooks, etc. So even if I lost my health insurance tomorrow, I can go in or call for checkups anytime I want and it's covered 100%. I can call the dietician on his staff every day of the week for the next five years, get meal plans, etc. Between that and my deductible and the out-of-pocket maximum, it all came to about $6K for me. He billed $18.5K to insurance of which $3000 was allowed, and my 10% was already part of that pre-payment I mentioned before. Then the hospital billed $107,198 of which $6200 was covered by insurance, and since I prepaid at the hospital I got an additional 20% off my 10% co-pay. The rest was made up of all the pre-testing stuff like the GI series, labs (excised stomach and liver biopsy), and the anesthesiologist fees (they billed $2400 and $1400 was covered). I'm not sure how much value there will be in those "uncovered" fees that I pre-paid, the next five years will tell. But I do like that I can call and speak to someone at anytime, with any problem and get tons of support. His dietician is very nice and she helps me a lot with what and how to eat. It's also nice to have easy access to great supplements, some of which were included for free as part of my fee.

I say there are no excuses for not being able to cook. I don't have a man in my family who can't cook for himself or for the kids - my dad, brother, husband, brother-in-law! I would ask your husband if he'd be open to taking a class or learning a few things from you, as a sign of support for what you're doing. I understand about feeding the kids, but perhaps now is the best time to teach them healthy eating options by making meals that are good for you and them? The steak and garden salad sound great, maybe next time try a cauliflower mash instead of potatoes? I'm only two months out so I'd say the hardest part of my surgery has been learning patience with the process. I've had a few stalls and to go from losing nearly a pound a day to staying flat for a week or more nearly threw me into a giant depression. It would've been the kind of thing in the past that would have thrown me into downward eating spirals. But I'm thankful that I have my sleeve and to go and screw it all up with bad food just seems senseless now. The stalls inevitably break, usually when I stop obsessing about it and just live normally.

The first week was hardest for me, I definitely got depressed. It does get better with each passing day and week. I found that trying to take even the smallest walks, taking a shower, watching a funny TV show, or encouraging others on this forum all good ways to stay positive. I think one of my first walks was literally across the street and back! Maybe play a board game with your daughter, or if you can do a creative project like coloring or making Easter eggs! I hope things turn around for you soon, please call your doctor if your symptoms get much worse.

Congratulations, Lissa! I'm so proud of you staying so determined. This is a marathon, not a sprint. We will get there with true lifestyle changes and staying patient with our bodies and ourselves. Can't wait for the next "before/after" from you!

Oh, I only paid about $6000 total out-of-pocket (mostly uncovered expenses with my surgeon). And I know the way hospitals bill insurance is totally inflated. So they billed $130,000 -- had I paid privately it would have been more like $20,000 I'm sure. But I had only a $250 co-pay and a $1500 OOP maximum. It's just amazing to see $25,000 just for the medicine. And of course, the anesthesiologist bills separately, as do labs/radiology technicians.

I read that on Wikipedia prior to surgery as well, and it worried me. But in talking to a few doctors, found out what Ivy posted - that the body has other sources and the links to memory are weak. I've had a number of nutritionists tell me that just lowering your carb intake can bring on the same "mental fog" and the body adjusts with time. Yeah, the first few weeks I was a little less sharp. But now (at two months out), I feel just as I did before if not better. My thinking seems clearer, and I can have conversations just fine. I would blame mental fogginess on other things like vitamin deficiencies, actual chemical imbalances, other muscular conditions before blaming VSG.

Be careful, as my surgeon had a lot of "uncovered" fees that really added up after the portion that my insurance would cover. And I have really good insurance, low deductible and out of pocket. Also, the estimate the hospital provided was a fraction of what it actually came to. I think the final bill to the insurance company was close to $130,000 for a 34-hour stay with no complications. Thankfully, I only had to pay a small fraction of that after all was settled and done (I was covered at 90%). They also quoted me around $15,000 for an overnight stay, and I paid cash of the anticipated co-pay to get the 20% discount. Good luck! I hope it works out in your favor!

Laughing Cow cheese is also good, some non/low-fat Greek yogurt, small curd cottage cheese (w/ a little unsweetened applesauce, like 1tbsp), SF pudding made with 2% milk (you can add protein powder!). I could only do a single soft poached eggs at two weeks, and I'm still turned off by canned tuna and chicken. I also made a roasted cauliflower mash (any recipe online works) and added protein powder, it was pretty tasty.

Syntrax Nectar Whey Protein Isolate, comes in all different flavors. I have a couple of large tubs of my favorites (lemonade, lemon tea) and then sample packs to mix it up.

I've been wondering that myself. Other than the IV in my wrist, I had no tubes anywhere else. No drains, no catheter, etc. And I never had to do any barium swallow or other leak test. I was drinking Water, broth and Jell-O about seven hours after surgery and walking the halls every 2-3 hours.