4ALongerLife

Wow, that took guts! (I would say cohonas but didn't wanna offend he he). I know it's easy to get discouraged, thanks for trying to inspire everyone by being so brave/personal!

I am so sorry to read your story. My mother died suddenly, a heart attack in her sleep, in 2008 (my father followed her death 9 months later, after he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer of the liver and lungs). The day my mom died, the world literally changed. I would give almost anything that I have to have her one back for more day. It's a heart ache, for sure. With that being said, please spend as much time with your mom as you can ... cherish moments, get her to tell you stories that will die with her, write them down/record her telling them if you can. As an avenue to help you... have you ever been to counseling? I'm a big proponent of it (well I have a bachelors and masters in social work, my initial goal was to have my own "shop" after I got my LMSW-ACP, but a few years into professional social work I decided it wasn't for me). However, I know I used food for coping and we all know that stress can trigger those behaviors. A good coginitive behavioral therapist that perhaps specializes in food/eating or health psychology would be a good alternative for you, to talk to, to help you manage stress in other ways - as well as identify some of the reasons for the behavior. Just a thought. I manage my stress now through exercise mostly. And I usually make sure that I get at least 7 hours of sleep a night (I swear it helps!).

rofl... now just to choose my favorite one to use, lol

i agree with webchickadee's comments and richard... but this one quote above made me giggle. hang in there, it gets easier (and less scary) with time.

Yep, I understand that fear! I think it's "normal" (or maybe I'm just weird... um no comments on that one ok? lol). And I'm not the 'typical' sleeve at 9 months out so I'm leaving that last question unanswered (no offense! see my signature ... I was a leak gone horribly wrong).

lol depends on the guy ... but generally i like it (don't tell my hubs!) lol

Actually there is a search function at the top of the toolbar on vst (I think that is what the poster meant on using the simple search). For me, I forget sometimes to use the search box at the top of the vst page as I come here decompressing after work or end of the day / half mindless and I get on the homepage and read the active threads that are coming through. Then I'll read, get lost in the threads or not sure what I want to search on.. but if I stay long enough (what? 5 mins) and see drama ... I find mostly I just log out. (sigh, sounds like I'm not the only one as I agree with your opinion on tired of reading through the drama... i get sick of that for sure!) actingnurse, I sent you the group info. (glad I came back to this thread to see your request!) Hope to see you there soon!

I think some ppl have the thought that "normal" (aka thin) people don't watch what they eat. Somewhere, our maladaptive thought processes are that thin/normal people just coast through life, eating whatever they want, whenever they want gives and that gives us the "ok" in our minds NOT to track. Well, IMO, it's just usually not true (there are exceptions of course) but most ppl I know that are thin/it's not true and I've had to accept that as reality. And (so far) it has helped to motivate me to continue to log. I know my hubs is one of those thin ppl. He's had a 30" waist since the first time I went on weight watchers (yes, HE lost 30 lbs through MY going to weight watchers .... and he has kept it off). But how does he keep it off for over 12 years? I'll tell you what we don't want to hear ... he monitors his intake (as well as he works out 5-6 days a week). He may not be as strict about mfp daily tracking as I currently am, but he's not a food addict like I am either. The point though is that his "normal" does involve monitoring himself. I know the same is true of my "naturally thin" friends that I've watched and or asked ..... each one does some sort of self monitoring. IDK how to tell you to get back on track/back to logging, but I honestly think you are getting there. First thing is to be honest with yourself ... which kudos, sounds like you are doing! (like tracking your intake) Even if that development was from a friend's comment, you are still being honest with yourself. Great that you train like you do. Now thankfully our eating is limited with this tool called the sleeve, as I know that food addict is still in me. I will tell you that I attend a weekly support group in the DFW area where I live and it's helped keep me motivated, a LOT. In that group, there is a psychologist that leads our sessions and he constantly teaches us what makes for a successful journey long term and the #1 thing? Tracking. #2? Social support. MFP gives me both of those.... just say'n! From attending that group, I've also learned that about 12-18 months, people supposedly start to plateau. The reason is something I've seen debated, but what my group says is that gherlin comes back (my dr. even disagrees with this.. so who's right?). I've accepted that IDK if that's true or false, but supposedly your body starts making physiological changes and the hunger comes back. That I DO believe. And I'm a little frightened on this aspect. The "honeymoon" phase, as with anything, eventually does come to an end. So then what? I use mfp for tracking to keep me accountable (even if I have days in the red) and for the social support of mfp friends that slap me in the head if I miss days/logging. They don't necessarily slap me in the head whenever I start slider foods (which sometimes I think would be nice, but then again I generally hate ppl policing my behaviors, sigh) but I do slide a bit here and there. My hubs helps some with this, but ... I was on a liquid diet due to my leak for 4 months. The fact that I can eat real food again is something I'm still getting used to and now enjoying (yes, sometimes that's with white chocolate m&ms or a slice of ice cream cake from baskin robbins!). I digress... logging it into mfp makes me crack the proverbial whip to get myself back onto the wagon much sooner than if I didn't track. Remember there are slips that all of us experience. Just don't let a slip snowball into a collapse or a relapse (again items I've learned from my weekly group!). I wish you the best of luck back into the motivation and action phases of the weight loss cycle (yes, they are definable phases... something else my group's taught me!). Also, kudos to you for taking an honest look at yourself... and thanks for sharing that here. I find your honesty inspirational to take a good, long & maybe hard look at what I might not be willing to admit yet to myself and work on changing so that I am a long term success story. (God willing and something that I pray I can continue!) xx

I want this aussiegirl.......... But yes, I too am waiting for my mind to catch up with my body's changes as I don't see myself accurately either. Then again, IDK what "normal" is... I'm right smack dab in the middle of "normal" BMI but think I should try to get smaller. Most of my life has been spent obsessing on dieting/exercise... now what that I'm "there"? Am I truly done? then will it poof and be gone...? So I want what aussiegirl stated above. I think THAT is truly successful maintenance! and btw, OMG cowgirl jane... you DO look like a different person! wow!

I have to tell you, I still am not used to this being me. I have recently become a dress buyer (hey I no longer start forest fires by chub rub aka thigh rub thank you). I purposefully pick something up that in my mind I think "I will never fit into this tiny thing" and whamo, I do. I'm over a year now as of this month and my brain still hasn't fully acclimated to the change. At my largest I was an 18 and 254. I am now a 4/6 at 140/145. I never thought I'd be here and still have a hard time believing this is reality. I honestly get scared that I'll get used to it and poof, it's gone. Yes, much head work remains! Oh and btw, it took my fat rolls the longest to go, but low and behold, they are mostly gone now. (ok mostly i guess...You know, when I sit down and hunch my back, it's just a little extra skin and not the fat rolls that i used to cross my arms to try to hide... you all know the stance that i'm referring to i am sure right?) Congrats to all on your losses!

I personally just get lost in all of the posts and tired of the same questions. Then there is the drama on how people respond to one another (really they send you hate mail in PMs? what the.....?). Additionally, there are certain hijackers that would always take over a thread. Those things just made me come to the general conclusion... I'd rather spend my time elsewhere. On the positive side, another contributing factor is that I get support through my weekly meetings that I am fortunate to have here in the DFW area. But I still come here infrequently....

Goodness Sannah, I apologize that I have not kept up. I rarely come on this site any more, but pls know I am thinking and praying for your recovery. Best of luck (and NO MORE PAIN!). xx

Thanks for posting the recipe!

Try the Vanilla Creme Oh Yeah RTDs or the Cookies and Cream Pure Protein RTDs. I'm picky and liked both of those... a lot!

I do have dumping and I don't think in your case you are dumping. Maybe I'm wrong, but I usually get heart palpitations/racing heart rate and I feel ill. Literally I have prayed to become sick so that it will pass. My dr. described it as too much sugar/too much fat introduced into the system and the body squeezes all the Water out of your cells and rushes it to the sugar zone, usually the tummy and that gives you the heart palpitations, etc. I sip water and sometimes that has helped... however, to get back in "control" of your eating... you need to figure out your triggers. Best way to do this, tracking. I use my fitness pal and love it. I agree with the other posts that gave wonderful advices to 'back to basics'... as well as work on "mindful eating" - they have books on this and you could always go see a counselor to help you work through whatever your issues/triggers are (we all have them!). I struggle with emotional eating as well; however, that's another reason why I work out like a fiend (well ....and I love hard workouts). Please know, you can change it. It just takes work.... Best of luck.

ROFL

How much water are you drinking a day? Are you logging every bite?

Puja... I worry about "what if I gain all my weight back"... but the dr. that leads my WLS group, I told him that fear. Wanna hear a great point? Yes I have lost and gained. Yes it's always come back before. But never did I have a sleeve. This time it IS different. Remember that y'all! (and forgive yourself if you slip. make it minor and get right back 'on the wagon'.... just don't allow it to be a complete collapse or a relapse... or so i pray to have the strength to avoid those!)

It has freaked me out whenever I haven't seen a good friend in a while and they don't recognize me! Otherwise, YES I still have issues with seeing that as me in the mirror. I still see the fat me. I picked up a very tiny dress this weekend (I never wore dresses before... hello thigh rub anyone????) but I did it on purpose. I looked at that dress and told my hubs, this dress is so tiny. I used to always tell my hubs that I was built like a defensive lineman (broad shoulders kept me out of being a brides maid before - I just was too big to fit the dress). So I totally understand!!! But guess what? This past weekend I said wow this dress is so tiny - It cannot fit. Not on me! And it did, like a glove. What the ....? It is QUITE a journey. Oh btw, I bought three dresses that weekend. One with beading at the shoulders, sleeveless, a cut out back and a slinky front. Now where in hades do I think I'm going IDK! LOL You only live once that I know of for sure... now it's up to hubs to figure out a good weekend/where to wear that dress! Yes QUITE the journey!

I say don't Celebrate it with food. But that's me. Instead, go on a special vacation and do something physical that at your prior size you never could have done before the WLS. I personally bought myself a nice ring at 100 lbs. lost. Every time I look at it, it reminds me of what I have accomplished. Oh and btw, it needs to be sized, AGAIN lol... go figure!

the nasogastric tube SUCKS! i've had two during my four hospitalizations (complications from a prolonged leak). the j tube wasn't so bad. i did my feedings at 60 overnight but would have to do it for 12 hours. i couldn't stomach more than 60 for the rate or it made me ill. i did osmolite for a while, then switched to my premier Protein drinks (and added in a tbsp of olive oil as i was beginning to get "ashy"... seriously). i'm sorry you have to go through this, but it's better than being malnutritioned. at my lowest, i got to 130 and am 5'7. that is too small.... i'm about 140 now and holding. oh and btw, i got a little bag that someone gave me and put my pump in there with the feeding bag made up and could just rock and roll whereever i wanted. here's a tip that i never knew until i had my feeding tube: keep the small diet cokes or canned cokes in the house and do flush with that once a week, then flush the tube at least 3-4 times a day. make sure you do this or you could have "issues" if you don't.... you'd be surprised what you can acclimate to whenever you just have to. i had my feeding tube from 12/14 (ish) to hmm, last week. i am so glad it's gone. i'm almost back progressed to chicken in my diet, but fish is my favorite right now. best of luck!