4ALongerLife

One thing I wanted was for my son to hug me and be able to touch his hands together (with me in the middle). We were in the grocery store a couple of weeks ago and he did it and even said "look mama." I forgot that was one thing I said before surgery that I wanted, so you reminded me. Thank you (and you brought tears to my eyes for two reasons: 1. reminding me of this small goal and 2. for all of the other things that everyone shared... I totally related to so many, but how beautiful it is to hear what others hearts desire - I wish you all success in this journey!).

hey lissa - i meant the way you described cheetos getting you - curled up on the corner, saying MINE MINE MINE! omg that made me laugh!

oh my goodness .. THAT is a "crappy" day. well there is nothing wrong with you - we all used food to cope and you are struggling with a new job (that is one of the top 10 life stressors), not to mention you are p.o.ed with less money, less hours and then the peops had to order pizza. changing jobs is a HUGE stress and you went through the wringer. i do however agree with lizzy, what about counseling? i need to do this myself so .... we hafta establish new ways to cope beyond food whenever stress overwhelms us. but it's second nature - but it's going to change mama. hang in there sugar. ditto petal's comment as well, i hope you have happier days ahead! xoxo

Best of luck to you!

rofl Lissa I'm seeing you in a whole new way per your post! We all have our trigger foods, for sure. And btw, my dog (yes my dog) is named Cheeto Dorie you WILL do this! Go girl - you have the plan, you can do it and you will!

I struggle with this goal set. My dr's BMI chart says I could be 140, but I am thinking 150 or 160. I have never been smaller than 180 so this TOTALLY blows my mind.

I am right there with you - I don't keep goodies in my desk, but I find that I snack too much ("grazing") and have to quit, grrrr. I can't eat much at one time and I get 3 bites in and am done. MFP helps me keep the calories in range at least, but I have to quit this going from snack to snack.

You are totally "normal" .... What you are experiencing is hormonal. From what I understand, your body has lost the weight but in such a short period of time that your brain and hormones haven't had time to catch up. So you are making hormones for the size that you were 50 lbs ago. Additionally, it might be time to call the dr. or go see them (whomever prescribed the Pristiq) and adjust the medication based on your now smaller size. Hang in there. You are going through a LOT of changes and it takes time to adjust. We all have our moments, but then that's why I am here - that's when I reach out like you did. Hope this note helps you some.... hugs

Kiki, pls pray for me. I WISH I could get a deal like that. The first bill is now at 10K (I just sent in 325 and some change). The next one, they charged 90K and 70K is ineligible per the insurance bill, but that leaves 14k on the second bill. Mind you I've already paid for this surgery (my first one) and am already out of that money. IDK what I'm going to do... breathe and remain calm. And either pray that the cars don't break down (we both need new ones to be honest) or just pray that something works out. Since I'm a contractor - not to mention in this economy - I'm freaking out to be honest. Today I'm much calmer, but scared to be honest. I'm just putting all of my b'ness out there now too, I hafta be nuts. Thanks for your input tho too Kiki....

Thank you all. Truly I appreciate it. Thank you.

So I'm playing the game that I hate. It's "up a lb, down a lb" which is followed by "up a half lb., down a half lb" in my life. Does anyone else experience this? I think I'm cursed. I swear all I see is people losing more weight and I compare myself. Then I think "hello stop your whining you durn cry baby." lol... just being honest. Here's the deal tho... I'm 10 weeks out and after receiving one of two hospital bills for my complications (I had aspriation pneumonia and a leak/abscess after my surgery, then revised surgery)... I'm just really wondering if this was worth it. Don't get me wrong, I know it was but.... if I knew then, what I knew now of my experience... would I still do it? In all undue honesty, yes, probably so. I've been fat since I was about 6 months old. Seriously, I have pix, I should scan them and post them. Not that anyone reads my posts Ok rambling, I just feel lonely in this journey and I'm a bit lost. I don't have a NUT, right now I can't afford one, my new insurance plan doesn't go into affect until June 1.... maybe I'm stuck in pity party central mode tonight, my apologies. Writing is supposed to help, heck how I used to cope isn't an option anymore (hello carbs and sweets, remember those days?). I just wish I could let the worry over all of this go. It's made me feel more anxious than ever and I was craving a big ol' cookie today, so I indulged... too much but it's logged into myfitnesspal dag nab it! But how do I cope with this? IDK... I went to the gym and that's helped some. Otherwise, I type in a journal here (which reads like a bunch of mess that no one reads, damn pity party again grrr). Who else can I talk to about this? Honestly there are very few here that I've spoken to and surely my biatching rambling session is running the rest off. Sigh.... Well SHOULD anyone read this, and IF you do pray, even if you don't know me... please say a prayer for me. I'm being super hard on myself, worrying too much and looking at a few things that are stressing me out seriously (money being the top worry). I'm attempting to fight the demons that got me in this mess with weight as it is, I don't really need more items to push me into failure - I'm struggling enough playing the up/down game enough as is, aren't I? I don't want to be "undone" after having gone through all of this..... Signed, Not the super sleever poster child of positivity ... my apologies.... Pity party is officially over on 5/19, I swear!

Thanks to those of you that did read my last whiney arsed post. I am still worried about the hospital bill, but you know I've been reading some bible entries (no I'm not the most biblical nor the most church going person; however, I'm in a women's study group of "seeing yourself through god's eyes" and it has helped me a bit). I sometimes forget that with my faith, everything will work out in the end. We never have ppl over, it's a rarity. IDK why, we are hermits I guess. But one of the parents that helped us tremendously whenever I was in the hospital for the month of March, we had them over for dinner last night. I didn't know the dad was an atheist. He's been through a lot of physical abuse from his dad in his life and he said that's why he doesn't believe in God. He doesn't understand how a God can let bad things happen to people. Well, you know, I don't either but I told him it made me sad. Maybe I sound naive, but through all of my trials and tribulations, I have been angry at God and pissed at the world before - and God still is there - and He's still blessed me through my worst and loved me through it all. I've seen His blessings in my life. I don't know why bad things happen to good people. One of the passages in the study that I am doing talked of God teaching us all lessons. Perhaps this parent that came over, his was where his lessons crossed and where his dad's lessons crossed as well. A few days ago Passion of the Christ was on PBS. I've never seen it and it was more than 1/2 over whenever I caught it on t.v. It shocked me how terribly they beat Jesus. Ok so I do sound naive, but I remember going to Catholic school for 8 years (as a non-Catholic, yes I was baptist going to private catholic school. Why? I think my parents wanted to keep me segregated. Written with total sarcasm: They loved that I married a black man........ but that's another therapy session/entry at another time...). I never understood the full extent of how they beat Jesus until I saw that scene - I really thought of it as an adult. Why did God allow all of that pain to be inflicted on His son? There was a point at the end - and in a long winded fashion, that's what trials and tribulations are for all of us. Lessons to be learned. Character that is grown through trials and tribulations. Most of us are experiencing a trial in something that we share and that's weight loss (or grrr for the plateau patty's out there like me, the non weight loss at times, double grrr). I just hope most of us have the faith to know that God is there through whatever trial or tribulation. He has blessings in store for us, if we remain faithful. I'm having my moments on hospital bills and life and weight loss. But I will be ok. I know God's got my back, in the end. Doesn't mean the road won't be hard and that I won't cry or whine (y'all forgive me pls for that); however, thank you to those that help pick me up whenever I feel like I can't or that I feel like I am not worth it. We all have our moments..... thank you for picking me up whenever I have mine. OH and btw, I DID get on the scale this morning. I'm down another .5 lb. Dang it, I'm counting it! lol... 59.5 total I think. I went today and tried on clothes at Ross (I am a cheapskate, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Ross) - and they all fit, some even being too big. So again to those that have said whenever I have a stall "have you measured yourself?" Well no, I don't measure.. but trying on clothes today SHOWED me keep on going. Remain in faith - you'll be surprised how God blesses you (and that I KNOW for sure). So I hope someone that is in doubt, or may be struggling and may not speak up about it reads this, because I sincerely know how you feel. Remember pls you aren't alone. And thank you to those that lift me up ... thank you much. Ok rambling rita signing off, lol... I wish you all blessings! xoxo PS - OH and I leave you with one of my favorite quotes, I think it's from eggface.... I've been trying to remember this lately: Weight loss is a journey, not a destination. PSS - The other quote I love (and was in my studies, I saw it this morning): This too shall pass. PSSS - And from my yoga class this morning (omg I thought I was gonna die, I wanted to quit at one point, it was hard but I stuck it out, just like life), the teacher was talking about yoga and comparing the stances to trials in life. He had a point. If you aren't happy or satisfied or whatever, stop and focus... not on others, not on what they have or have done, but on you and your blessings essentially... so remember : What is your focus?

Well, I didn't go to Mexico.... unfortunately... and was a self pay. What you've described is applicable to one of my two bills for my complications that I had after my surgery. And my insurance is not helping (I had a stink arse plan, 15 k max benefit as I work as a contractor after getting laid off in 2/2011). IDK what I'm going to do to pay this off. And I'm rather scared & freaking out. I hope that whenever I call the financial assistance personnel on Monday that God blesses me with some better news than I am currently bracing myself for. But I'm glad yours got paid. Congrats.

Ok my friend, BeautyVSG is in school to be a dr. and she told me that your body is used to making more 'tummy juices' based on how you used to eat, prior to surgery. Dr's usually prescribe something if you have indigestion after surgery, which is common. I think maybe, in time, your body will adjust... so maybe I should duck because it's not much help, but I'm trying to encourage you to hang in there. Can I get an A for effort? How about a B+? *ducks upon leaving lol* Hang in there gawgeous!

What about mixing it with Water and some flavor and making your own popsicles? If you have kids (or company), you could serve it to them.....? lol or in my old days, i would have suggested making Jello shots lol

WOW you go girl - congrats!

Well said Lissa! I was scared initially to tell anyone. Not sure if scared is the right word, but apprehensive. I didn't want to hear any negative inputs. I've struggled with my weight since I was 6 months old. Laugh but I have pictures to prove it. My dr. scared the tar out of me, as well as a strong genetic predisposition for a massive heart attack or cancer to kill me. Obesity is a huge contributor to both. The day before my surgery, I told my in laws. It was well received by both, thankfully... my father in law even told me that I should be very proud to do something so courageous. IDK on that but, after having my surgery and so many issues, I didn't care who knew. I am happy to be alive and well now after so much time in the hospital. I can't hide how little I eat as I am full quickly. But then again a "friend" last week made a comment as I ate a small piece of cake..... hello ding dong, that's another reason why I had this surgery, I can still indulge, but on a small level. C'est la vie, you can't win with everyone, but I don't lie well either. Do what you think is right but I do encourage you to try to let ppl know. Until we speak of this more, we can't get rid of the misconceptions about this surgery (i.e. 'the easy way out" - which I assure you from my experience is not applicable). Negative nellies can kiss it, I did this for me and I have NOTHING to be ashamed of.

My suggestions are: Cytosport's Whey Isolate ready to drink (RTD) drinks are better than Isopure in my opinion. I have bought them at Vitamin Shoppe, 3.79 a bottle. It's 32 oz of whey isolate Protein in each 16 oz bottle. Do NOT buy a bunch of anything until after your surgery - make sure you try everything first as your taste does and will change. Cytosport drinks can be bought in singles, refrigerated from Vitamin Shoppe. I personally hated Isopure. And those nasty protein bullets. In my support group last week, someone mentioned that sunkist makes protein bullets that are good. IDK as I haven't tried them, but fyi. unjury chicken soup (just don't heat it above 160 degrees or it'll clump). Unjury also has unflavored that you can mix into crystal light or Jello (mix it with homemade jello). nectar syntax has some flavors that are good mixed with Water ... you can buy them on BJ Bariatrics in a sample pack (it's like 12 for $14). GOOD LUCK!

Walk, walk, walk but I'd recommend not doing too much (i.e. elliptical, definitely not weights) until 6 weeks after surgery. Consult with your physician to be sure. Or maybe I should just have said I agree with y'all, Michelle specifically! lol

Wishing you only the best of luck in your surgery and recovery - as well as the journey! God bless.

I'm glad that's all that's wrong for you! GET WELL SOON!

I don't get hungry like the family does (my husband and child) so yes, I've been guilty of running around on the weekends, forgetting to eat. They remind me though lol....