4ALongerLife

Well, I'm attempting not to be 'size obsessed' because whenever I do certain things now - like sitting down in the bathtub, I'm thinking "dang that's my bones hitting the marble." Or we went sit on a bench and I put my back against the wall, thinking something was poking out of the wall because ouch for a sec... surprise, surprise, that was my backbone against the wall, wth? lol... I am NOT used to this body yet. My naked body has so changed, I stare at it sometimes with incredulous disbelief of "is that really me?' in all honesty. But you know whenever you are larger, you always want to be a smaller size. For me, growing up, I was always a size 14. I had broad shoulders so let's just say school dances were out. Part of it was my head issues with my weight, part of it was where could you find a formal to fit a size 14 with broad shoulders and trannie feet (lol) pardon me larger feet for a nice, hip, now-a-days style? And I lived in a small town and part of my life my family was very meager. So I just did w/o. So yeah, I'm 38 (almost 39) and I still 'dream' of sample size fits. I know it's unrealistic, but I am digressing into dream territory here ok? So realistically, should I just be happy in a 12 is what I'm struggling with? Or should I push to reach my "dream" of an 8? I'm struggling on that fence to be honest. A number on a scale or in a pair or my pants shouldn't be THE sign of happiness. But am I talking myself out of reaching full "success" of reaching the dream? Not sure! I just need a reality check. Am I being unrealistic to push to an 8? IDK... so just thought my crazed OCD hormonal woman self would ask lol. Thanks for your responses. I am glad I am not alone here (and in some rather great company!). and I don't think I have wide hips... wide girth (belly) has always been my issue!

I believe, if you are 'afraid' that you'll transfer your food addiction to something else, you are already prepared not to do it. The first step is seeing it happening to prevent it's occurrence. So give yourself some credit: good for you that you already wonder! I did the same thing and my psychologist said 'you'll be fine, you are self aware and practice honesty with yourself'. The rest honestly just falls into place. I am still a food addict and I have to watch my behaviors. Especially in stressful situations (like job changes) and triggers or challenges like eating with friends. It feels so familiar, I can easily do less like I did before, right? For me, that's a slippery slope. So I plan ahead on menus and what I'll graze on for those hours. And I track it all. Period, no excuses. It seems to work fine. I bet you can do the same! Best of luck!

Well, it's been a minute since I blogged. I don't know why... I feel like what voice do I have here? Some days, I honestly just don't feel funny. Some days I'm a whiny arsed brat. Well today's one of those days and here I am... but IDK why I am here. But I am. I had surgery 3/5 originally; then readmitted with aspiration pneumonia (a complication from surgery, to which I believe it's due to too much anesthesia during surgery based on my prior history of having the same whenever I had a c-section), then a leak and revised 3/20. Then 7/4 or so, I went to the ER in the middle of the night as I woke up with body shaking, teeth chattering, would not stop chills that made me panic. I have never been so cold down into my bones in my life. I couldn't even move across the bed to nudge my husband (dang king sized beds... remember whenever you were dating, it didn't matter where you slept or how, just as long as you were together. Now I'm rather particular about my king sized tempurpedic. However, I digress). Anywho, I went to my dr. about 2 weeks maybe ago... I have had consistent pain in my side and my shoulder since the pneumonia's reoccurence in July. She was going to pull my records from the hospital and check the xray, trying to save me some money I believe as the last visit's bill was about 2 G (can you freak'n believe for 3 hours of "care" in the ER it cost me 1400 and some change? That is LUDACRIS! ok lemme shush... but we wonder wth is wrong with healthcare.. here's one example! i only saw the dr. for 30-45 mins MAYBE. NUTS.). Well, she listened to my lungs and didn't hear any crackles. She told me instead that it sounded like I had a bone spur or osteoarthritis in my left shoulder. Oh thanks doc. Now I'm freak'n old. Just the thing I needed to hear. Well she was going to pull my XRays from the ER visit and get back to me. A few days later, I called back as I had yet to hear. Well come to find out, they really wanted the CAT scan that I did (where the dr. told me something came up in the CAT scan as a possible mass on my shoulder. Um yeah, WHAT? My father died of cancer that came on suddenly so you hear "mass" and you are like WTH? I'm 38 so I was honestly like WTF but I was trying not to be crass, let's just be honest... I don't want to die anytime soon and I want to be healthy. Hello? It's why I paid out of my pocket for this surgery and why I work my assets off daily at the gym!). So they were trying to find the CAT scan because my regular dr. said it probably was an occlusion or a shadow since it wasn't the main area of focus in my CAT scan so she will review it and let me know. Few days later, called back, as now I'm running a temperature and in much more pain. Left a VM for the nurse... second day no call back, I called this morning and they said go for an XRay. So 280-375 dollars later (not sure yet, they are "going to bill me"... ), guess who has PNEUMONIA AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNNN? I feel like I cannot catch a break here people. I still say I don't regret surgery but some days I also think I want to sue the damn anesthesiologist who caused this crap in the first place. I know everyone makes mistakes though, but this is now playing with my life, my job, making money and keeping a job. Probably just speaking out of stress as my job is changing. I start my new one 9/4 and everyone at my current position has been so very lovely. I couldn't ask for more. Except I am... to stop getting sick, especially with pneumonia! I am fearful now. Where did I pick it up? Walking past someone just non-chalant? Did I pick it up the last time I went into the gym and did a circuit routine? Now that the winter is coming, what do I do? Stop doing anything? How am I going to continue to lose to my goal and keep my weight down if so? I feel so discouraged. I have less than 20 lbs to my goal. I have never in my life ever been this small (and don't get me even started that most ppl at my height and weight are 2-3 sizes smaller than me, GRRR!). Just sometimes, I get so freak'n tired of life "not being fair." Yeah, sorry, I'm freak'n whining and being a brat. Through all of this, yes, I also am that TOM. God really has it "out" for me with the comedy now doesn't He? Ok... I am going to end saying, it's not only God that tests us. But it is God that allows me the strength to get through my life challenges. So I still believe and rely on my faith in Him. I may be a frustrated, whiny brat, but... I am optimistic that I will continue to soar and reach a higher level through even these challenges. Or so I'm going to do my best to believe in that because if I don't, I'll live in fear of getting pneumonia that will kill me this winter. So should you have made it through my long arsed, whiny, tear holding back post.... and if you pray... do me one favor. Say one for me. Just in case. thx xxxx

Thanks so much Tammy! I literally am on the verge of tears from being a whiney pathetic brat tonight. I was taking airborne last week (the chewable tablets), but guess it was too late. Thanks for your input!

Good luck to you! If you start crying, it's totally normal. It's fear of the unknown. But it'll change your life, for sure! Best always!

Can you wait long enough to have your tummy heal and your % of risk goes down? I was a self pay (and please don't put me on a list of leaks/ppl you are keeping up with!) and I got pneumonia a few days after my surgery, a leak a week or two later. If you want specifics on what my month in the hospital cost me, inbox me. Is there a way to get your % of risk down on sleeve? And we don't have BLIS here in TX, but after my time at the small hospital (which used to be a community hospital and is now part of a large non-profit), they were awesome, but are offering this sort of insurance and I would personally buy it for surgery now if I would have known then what I know now.

I would call you a success. I would love to be in your shoes at that point! Congratulations to you!

4 servings at fillet each serving per the site (I think it was skinnytaste but I didn't write it down grrr)... said it was: 206 calories/4g fat/33 g protein/10 g carb, 2 g Fiber, .6 g sugar, 341 mg sodium 1 tsp olive oil (4) 6 oz pieces of any "white" fish (i.e. flounder, tilapia or sole) 3/4 c onion, chopped 2 cloves garlic, minced 3/4 c diced green bell pepper 2 1/2 c tomatoes, chopped 1 Tbsp Cajun spice seasoning (we use Tony Chachere's) In a deep skillet, cook onion and garlice in olive oil on medium heat for a few minutes, until soft. Add tomatoes, peppers and spices, stirring and cooking until tomatoes are soft, about 2-3 minutes. Lay fish fillets in the sauce, cover and cok on medium-low heat until fish flakes easily, approximately 12-15 minutes. To serve, place fish on a plate and spoon sauce on top. Serve immediately. I also liked it later as everything sat in the juice to flavor "more". Enjoy!

and Candy that is just why I had sleeve and not RNY. Dumping, from how I remember my dr. explaining it, is whenever you ingest too much sugar. It sends a signal to your body - alert, need Water. So your body sucks water out of every possible place to go to the sugar site which equals your having tremors, cold sweats, your bowels start acting up and you want to curl up in the fetal position and pray to God that you aren't dying. I have yet (thank the dear Lord above) to experience this. My dr. says it's just because I haven't eaten too much of whatever. So most I can say is, to not experience it, know your limits. I am a HUGE sweet eater (or was prior to surgery). I rarely eat sweets now, well mostly. I have had half a piece of cheesecake, a piece of bday cake (small), chocolate, candies, but thankfully I haven't had Candy's experience. And so sorry you did have it Candy! I have however eaten too much fat (i.e. olive oil) and it makes me sick every single time. Only where I worship the porcelain goddess for a few moments, but that's enough for me. Then there is constipation, to which I say yes buy your Miralax and track your BMs to make sure you are keeping things moving..... but that's totally different than dumping.

IDK anything on plication but I had read some things on it that were not 'great.' I honestly don't recall what. I did sleeve as I am and was a huge eater. I use food for more things than hunger and I still struggle with that. I'm a work in progress. I wasn't "huge" as most ppl would say "omg you don't need surgery!" but they didn't know how I ate. They didn't know that food really felt like it controlled me. I hate to say that, it sounds pathetic, but I am an addict. It's the only "drug of choice" that you can't 'just quit'... and every day is always going to be something to work at. This tool helps me work it. I didn't do RNY (gastric bypass) as I didn't want to reroute my plumbing and to be honest dumping scares me. I love sweets, or loved them prior to my sleeve, and I was scared I'd do that once and get dumping and want to die. I am the 1% of sleevers that have had complications. I have had pneumonia after my surgery then a leak and revision to my suture line. It was not the most enjoyable experience; however, I don't regret the surgery - most days! I am 90 lbs and counting lost since March. I worry on the long term 'will I be successful' because surgery is a tool, not a magic wand that will 'fix' you. Depression, eating for solace, etc are issues that having this surgery will NOT fix. However, this surgery has made it possible where I go out to eat and after 4 or 5 bites, I am "done" and satisfied. I can eat 700-900 calories a day and be ok with it, where I used to balk at that extreme makeovers show that put everyone on a 1200 calorie restriction diet. Do your research, decide what is best for you. Should you want to know more about sleeve, this is obviously the place to be. But research your options. I do think DO IT! (whatever surgery you decide, especially if you have struggled with weight for your lifetime as I have) I am 38 and I hope that I will be successful for the remainder of whatever my lifetime might be so that diabetes, cancer, heart disease - all of which have killed my family - won't get me. But remember... I AM still a "work in progress"..... it's a tool and every day I still have to push myself to make good choices and not beat myself up when I slip. Part of this journey, for me, is about forgiving myself for things.... I am trying to work on my head issues. Support groups with this surgery has helped! (you might attend a few of whatever surgery you are considering for face to face input as well) Best wishes!

You can buy the unjury from their own site in sample packs. (their strawberry sorbet is good too and the chicken soup just know you can't nuke it or it clumps) I have heard your taste buds DO change. So try not to buy bulk before then. Oh and I agree, I rarely do shakes anymore. I still do on occassion, but it's the left over samples my surgeon gave me to be honest.

You are in the most common stall that there is... the "three week stall" that happens to almost all of us. Go up to the top of the vst page, in the search bar and look up three week stall. Also, you will go through a "surge" of hormones. I don't remember when nor how long it lasts, just that omg I am so f'n hormonal, I felt like I was crazy. Just know this - it too shall pass. Change your perspective. Concentrate on your "levels" .. by that I mean protein, how many oz of water you get in, etc. You will have many ups and downs in this journey and through out each trial, you will learn how to best equip yourself for the next hurdle. You CAN do it! And the weight's going to start zooming off... watch. If I could, I'd bet money on that. And I'm not a betting woman... Hang in there sweetie! OH and I (for a while) only allowed myself to weigh every Monday morning. Otherwise, it drove me nuts. Now, I don't care what the scale says as much. It varies (for me) up to 5 lbs a day depending on the time of the day. Limit scale time to once a week if you can!

Do what your dr. says and it WILL come off. There is a common "three week" stall that is so true. You will have many more stalls. Do not live by the scale. Weigh once a week, two times if you are ocd about it. Try to limit that (I'm preaching to myself ok?). But do what you are told - watch protein, get your water in, exercise whenever you dr. gives you the green light (I think not yet for you, but IDK 100% to be honest). It'll happen. Watch!

I agree with Julie. This WLS is a tool, not a magic wand. Please don't think because you have the surgery that your "issues" will be solved. If ONLY it were that easy! It has however helped quite a bit. I would have never thought I could eat 700-900 calories in a day and not be "starving", but I am... most days anyways! Ah, I have my moments .... but exercise and tracking your intake are (to me) crucial allies to my sleeve's success. But yes - the sleeve has helped me tremendously.

I forgot I had a recipe for it.... http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/49534-egg-mcnuthin/ Not as glamorous or whatever as mc'ds but.... is better for you and helps you fit in smaller jeans!

I think I got this from skinnytaste.com, but not sure. It was pretty good! Enjoy! Asian Glazed Drumsticks 8 medium chicken drumsticks, skin removed olive oil spray 1 c. Water 1Tbsp Sriracha hot sause (more or less, to taste) > can get from Walmart, in Asian food section (bottle with rooster on it) 1/2 c. balsamic vinegar 1/2 c. soy sauce 4 tsp agave nectar (or use sugar) > got this from WM too 3 cloves garlic, crushed 1 tsp ginger, grated 2 Tbsp chives or scallions, chopped 1 tsp sesame seeds In a heavy large saucepan, brown chicken on high for 3 to 4 mins. with a little spray oil. (I used my wok with Pam.) Add water, balsamic vinegar, soy sauce, agave, garlic, ginger, hot sauce and cook on high until liquid comes to a boil. reduce heat to low and simmer, covered for about 20 mins. Remove cover and bring heat to high, allowing sauce to reduce down, about 8 to 10 mins, until it becomes a thick glaze, turning chicken occassionally. Keep an eye on the glaze, you don't want it to burn when it starts becoming thick. Transfer chicken to a platter and pour glaze on top. Top with chives and sesame seeds and serve. I made 6 drumsticks and through myfitnesspal.com, it calculated out to be 168 cals per piece/15.5 g protein/6.1 g fat/9.2 carbs/5.4 g sugar/827.4 mg sodium.

Another recipe I got from skinnytaste.com. The nutrional info is at the bottom, as per skinnytaste (I haven't put it into mfp to verify it yet). Grilled chicken Brushetta 3 medium vine ripe tomatoes 2 small cloves garlic, minced 1/4 c. chopped red onion 2 Tbsp fresh basil leaves, chopped 1 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil 1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar kosher salt & fresh cracked pepper, to taste 3 oz. part skim mozzerella, diced 1.25 lbs (8 thin sliced) chicken cutlets Combine onion, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt & pepper. Set aside. Chop tomatoes, then add to the onion-balsamic sauce and add additional salt and pepper to taste. Set aside, letting it sit for 10 minutes up to overnight. Toss in the cheese when ready to serve. Season chicken. Grill. top with sauce and serve. 4 servings of 4 oz chicken=240 cals/8.5 g fat/32.4 g protein/6.8 g carb/1.3g fiber (but I could only eat a 2 oz portion as my meal to be honest!)

GOOD GIRL!!! kudos! that's a NSV to me!

Some gastric sleevers do have bouts of dumping syndrome from what I've read. My dr's a sleeve patient and he has had it once or twice. I've never had an experience like that though! He just told me "you didn't quite eat enough of (whatever) then". IDK if it's the same thing as RNYers experience or not in honesty. Sounds like it would be different in an RNYer due to the plumbing changes (like plumbing changes increase your risk to have dumping). But some sleevers have said they've had it.

Ugh that's a hard one. I think I personally would swap. I want my mind totally on my recovery and surgery. That's a lot of stress, I am so sorry.

Give those snack bags away NOW! Glad you caught yourself before you did any damage!

I like the gummies. Taste like candy - enough so to prove it, my son asks me if he can have a candy here and there!

Lucy, try Miralax in your shakes. It has no taste. I'm going to have to find those chewable fiber supplements.....

I believe you will be as successful as you allow yourself to be - as successful as you allow yourself to believe you will be. Sounds like freakin' pollyanna, but you are already fearing failure. You have to stop thinking that way! (um, maybe I just read in what you said as I think though too....) I was sleeved, got pneumonia, sleeved again as I had a leak and then had pneumonia last month again. I also am currently running a temp and scared what if I have pneumonia AGAIN? grrrrr! The point is - if I can get through all of that, and I've lost 90 lbs., you can do it too. Do what you are supposed to do - be mindful whenever you eat, stop eating whenever you are satisfied/not until you are engorged, workout, track your intake, Protein first, Water, etc. etc. etc. With the scar tissue that you had inside of you, if your dr. was able to clean that out, you might not know what the results are until your body heals which could take some time. So in that time, here's your challenge: concentrate on success. Not on the fear of "what if". I do the same thing and people get so frustrated with me. You cannot assume you will fail! So stop that sort of thought right now ok? The moment you start to consider that is another moment that takes you away from reaching your goals. It's time to work on the head and know one thing - YOU CAN DO THIS! I understand what you are feeling. But give yourself a shot at success before you assume you are going to fail pls. Hope that helps. Best of luck.