Calamity Jane

Dear 200's and my 20's,
 
I have been with both of you for ten years. We have been through a lot. I made a list:
 
-Met my husband
-9/11
-My husband being overseas
-Graduating with my Bachelors
-My father suffering a stroke in his brain stem
-Getting married
-Moving across the country
-Buying a house
-Having my handsome son
-Moving back home
-My son having a gran mal seizure in my arms, and starting a rollar coaster of appointments and specialists
-Having my beautiful daughter
-Buying another house
-Experencing the fear of my father undergoing an aorta replacement and triple bypass surgery
-My son being seizure and medication free
-Having ankle surgery
-Witnessing someone pass away
-Suffering from a blood clot
-Graduating with my Master's
-Having lapband surgery that has and will continue to change my life forever
 
We have been through so much over the past decade, and even though some times were amazing and life changing, I am ready to move on and start a new chapter. I am 3 weeks from 30 and 1.5lbs away from 199, and I can't help that them happening at the same time is a sign. A sign that I am ready to begin my new life with my husband and kids, and experience life healthier and happier with my friends and family.
 
So Good-bye 200's and my 20's, it has been real, but it is time I move on.
 
Amanda

I looked up my claims from my surgery...
$2712.00 for the anesthesia - contracted insurance rate $1368 - $0 patient liability
$38,378.25 for the surgery - contracted insurance rate $11,786.35 - $250 patient liability - I take offense to them charging $2980 of that (contracted: $934) for "accomodations". I've stayed in crapass hotels that were nicer accomodations. The surgery itself is $10,482.50 (contracted: $3287.75). The same surgery that people have to cross the border to get done because their insurance won't cover it. The contracted is (in this case) being covered in full by my insurance. The contracted amount probably wouldn't even cover the cost of the plane tickets and accomodations. Because this is normally a situation where I would use a lot of profanity, I will just say that it isn't fair and that it makes me sad.
 
I mean, the differences between the contractual amount and what they actually charge is astronomical. And if people with insurance couldn't get an authorization approved, why can't they be charged the contractual amount to make self pay an actual option?
 
I am LUCKY that I have good insurance. And I am so happy that I rarely have to use it.
 
Speaking of my health insurance, I'm even luckier that my employer pays for the bulk of my insurance. My job is monotonous and boring, but it's a hell of a company.
 
Today, Day 14, was my first day back at that monotonous and boring life suck. Now, since I've had my surgery, I've had puckering at the incision site where the tools were inserted. I don't know what the hell it is (well...was) - it was painful, it was where I thought my port was (that, ironically, doesn't hurt at ALL), and it looked like a doughy bellybuttony (yes, I know that's not a word) abyss.
 
Today, I was at work and I bent at the waist while sitting down to pick something up (I kinda forgot that I shouldn't do that quite yet) and I felt a popping feeling and then the dent was gone. There's no bleeding, no bruising and less pain than there was before.
 
I called my surgeon's office and they said that it sounds like I popped a stitch, but since it's not bleeding, bruising or tender/hot to the touch, that it should heal itself.
 
I ended up leaving my first day back at work two hours early. I was just overwhelmed with all of the change that took place in the two weeks that I was gone, and then the popping feeling - which I could not find JACK about on google - I worried myself sick and went home.
 
On the way home, I almost trusted a fart that wasn't. I called my friend and told her that. New life rule: never trust a fart.
 
I went to GNC yesterday and got this SUPER ULTRA MEGA PROTEIN SHAKE (not sure of the exact name and I'm too lazy to go and look). 12oz water + 3 scoops = 160 calories, 60g of protein. The guy working at GNC was shifty looking, though. Kind of like Draco Malfoy.
 
Yeah, I wasn't sure where I was going with this. I'm doing pureed foods now (sort of - mostly the stuff on the list that's already pureed or can be mashed like whitefish or tuna), tolerating everything. I bought cottage cheese to try again, because the first time I tried it, I thought it was gross and vocalized that to my sister. I will not repeat what I said because it was SO gross, but I figure maybe it's an acquired taste. If not, I'm just confirming that I don't like cottage cheese.
 
Yeah, I think I need to go to bed.

Day 10. I had my first follow up appointment yesterday and they said I can incorporate pureed stuff and other foods when I feel that I can handle them. Which is good because I could only do two days of cream soup before I realized that I pretty much hate soup. Especially cream soup. But I did have a tomato parmesean bisque that didn't suck. I rarely, if ever, want soup. Most of the soup I've ever consumed in my life has been convenience soup (soup that was already made for dinner). I had some oatmeal yesterday and white fish today. I ate way less than I thought I would eat. Normally, I'd have eaten the whole piece but I only ate about 1/3 of it and was full. Which was cool. It's interesting to eat like a "normal" person as opposed to eating everything that isn't nailed down. I wonder if it's possible to have forgotten what feeling "full" feels like? I think it is.
 
I got my clearance to go back to work on Monday, which I have mixed feelings about. On one hand, I'm bored as hell being off. I watched Season 3 of Full House today. The whole damn thing. On the other hand, I sorta hate the monotony of my job and have NOT missed being in a place where I think people take the rhetorical question "how stupid can you be?" as a challenge. But sitting on my ass watching Full House reruns doesn't pay well or have health insurance, so I guess I have to go back to work. I'd like to win the lottery, but it's a Catch-22, because you can't win if you don't play and I can't justify buying lottery tickets. I'm a terrible gambler. I lose interest in being in a casino after like 20 minutes.
 
Yeah...I don't know where I was going with that.
 
Anyway, I feel pretty good. Incisions are still a little sore, but it's not to the point where it's an unbearable pain. They said that there was no problem with the one steristrip falling off and that covering it with a band aid was fine. Healing's going well, which is a relief. You always read about horrible complications and when they don't happen, you feel relieved that your life didn't turn into an episode of House, M.D.
 
I don't really have anything interesting to write about, so I'll just stop with the rambling now...