Krissie,
Im private pay too and I am PETRIFIED that I will have complications/leak and be up to my armpits in medical bills!!!! I dont have a date yet (hoping for early April) and am getting sleeved by Dr. Cirangle in San Francisco. Im really relying on my surgeons skills (he is one of the best) and following the rules 100% so I take away as much risk as I can.
I think the key is to remember that YOU have made LOTS of GREAT decisions in your life.... and this is probably one of the things you have thought about for A LONG TIME and at this point- its STILL a good decision! Also keep in mind that your Dr. wants only the best for you and I am sure that he/she is going to do their very best work on you- this is their specialty.
I feel guilty sometimes about the money... but check this out.... You know how every new years eve you "resolve" to be active and loose the weight? What if all you had to do was nap your fingers and pay $2000 on January 1st of each year and POOF... you would be healthy and skinnier! Would it be worth it? Of course it would. This surgery isnt about easy finger snaps or quick "poofs", but it is about the quality of the REST OF YOUR LIFE! And if you really crunch the numbers- its going to suck financially in the short run, but in the long run its gonna be awesome!
BONUS!!! Shopping for normal clothes is sooooo much cheaper than shopping for plus size clothes!
Cheers
Kat