Jennifur

Judy I knew I was forgetting someone in my list. Thank you for all your prayers and being such an inspiration... how would we have all survived without WWJD??? Merry Christmas...

ughhhhhh... Terry I had a huge post and lost it too You guys are so very sweet and your thoughts and prayers mean so much to me. Tracyk - In a way I said I'm done... but I don't want to be. 10 years is a long run and my cat previous I had for 15 and had to put her down, but it was almost easier putting her down than just having my boy just vanish for a week then finding him like that. DD wants another one so new year day we are going to start looking. That was when we got fluffy. michelle - careful with the coal... I tramatized dd 4 years ago, she didn't think it was so funny. LOL Terry, Tracyks, Pamela, Kat, Laura, Denise, Haydee, Cindy, Jane, Ms Jen, Gina, Lunesa, Of course Tracyk and Michelle Have a very merry christmas love you all

thank you girls... I need it... i need a good 2008~

just stopping in everyone. another horrible day. We found my 10 year old cat. actually my neighbors dog found him, he was dead under my porch. Poor bella would not come out and just kept trying to wake up fluffy, and put her head on my cat and just sat there with him. it is just the most horrible, saddest thing ever. We got him 10 years ago new years. I have just cried all day. I'm going to have a drink

hi gals i'm off to work, shopping is done, now just have to wrap for the kids.... and since i don't get in until midnight or later, i don't know when i'll find the time. have a great night all

I hear you that is why I went and tried to explain. I did call dr's office yesterday and made an official complaint and they were going to address the situation and they put a note on my file that I do not want to see PA and they are going to address what happened. so instead i'm just going to be more mental because I'm confused too LOL

Morning gals I am feeling a little better, only 3 lbs away from my ticker weight. Last night when I was talking to mom - she didn't hear me when I was hyperventelating and crying that I never saw my dr, she was so ticked, she didn't realize that. She is an oncology nurse and has been with several dr's and she just left her job because of how dr treated people. Anyway - i know it is not great but the message that I was sent was do whatever it takes to lose weight, so, back on mushies. Not easy when you can eat, and TERRY, I am so stressed that I am all about the junk and sugar. I can eat chicken tenders and wings like no tomorrow. So egg beaters and tuna and black bean soup. I forgot how much protein tuna has in it 20g in my 3oz pkg, and then put 7 more from the 2% cheese and I mix with sour cream so it is really moist. PAM - I am so very glad you liked it. I hope the jamies fit. Good or bad thing... they shrink just a little bit when put in the dryer. Not much but if they are big they will shrink and if they just fit - they will stretch back into shape when dried. (I had to get myself a pr too) And of course not only did I get the lavender because of the color, but lavender is calming and relaxing and being with children every day.... well do I need to say more? LOL I'm just so happy you like them. I am going shopping to finish my shopping with mom in about 20 mins. We went grocery shopping at Wallyworld last night, mom was totally amazed how much we got for $175. We had 2 carts full! You couldn't do that at the locala grocery store. Love you guys - and thank you for helping me just survive through all this. I so can't wait until May

lol i do have one.... meds make him hungry so he is eating 1/2 pot of mac n cheese and snowflake shaped chicken tenders ... and since he is "starving to death" he is quiet right now. I'm glad he is growing out of this. Mom's problem at 3 heheheh

Kat - I dont know, I always read your stories and think... there is someone else out there who has a crazy life LOL Terry - so glad you are off, it will be nice to semi relax, you deserve it off to give ds more drugs and some food, he is jumping off the furniture looking at me saying "WHAT".... should I knock him out know or let mom do it tonight afer he has 2 more doses?

Judy I don't know who they are to judge me, but after thinking about it all night, they were residents and a new pa who know nothing about me, so if my dr I've been seeing for over a year came in and talked to me knowing me, it might have been different, I felt like they were teaming up on me. I don't want to see the PA and I will make sure I never have an appt with her again.

its been a week since i sent out my secret santa... i'm so upset that it seems not to have made it yet

Thank you for all your good thoughts all Tracyk - I understand that being the point. I had that happen to me once, and i was in a great financial place, but was so ticked. going to try to make it through today, ds woke up having a croup attack last night - he is fine, actually not as bad as they use to be but still scary. Mom was going to take him today so I could get some sleep and she is afraid to take him, which I understand, she knows he has it but has never had to deal with it so she was freaking out. This way I can pump him full of drugs and then leave him with her while I work tonight. HEHEHEHE... she has never really experienced him full force full of steroids either. she will have to tie him to a chair by tonight. well another day... going to take a deep breath and try to survive it sorry for the offensive language last night.. I just needed to vent but didn't want to offend anyone

hi gals. just checking in, mentally exhausted. So here is the rest of the story. nancy, dr's pa, who I loved and saw for over a year, she left, and my visti started with a new pa who knows nothing about me... nothing! then attending came in - who also knew nothing about me and what i've overcome and told me to see a shrink and blah blah blah... do it on my own and I never even got to see my DR. So basically people who know nothing about my struggles, my accomplishments, and was even questioning why I take a water pill... WTF This is the first time I went to his office where I was treated like a number... yeah so what... I'm right where I should be... so now in my mental state... i'm going to do a liquid diet and probably not eat right (because this is what I do) to try to get rid of the last 30 lbs... yup... sure sounds so much better than a little fill doesn't it. I felt like they wouldn't even let me see my dr and... when I was telling them of some of the stresses over the last year of paying for ins, surgery, loosing my job... his response was "We don't care how you paid for it..." Hello ASSHOLE... not the point.... so I'm stressed from a death in the family... I do think I'm going to tell him how I felt like a number on the chop block and part of the reason I went with him was because I felt like I was treated like a person... NOT TODAY... what fuckin' (sorry) resident tells someone he just met and knows nothing about to talk to someone...right, wrong, it doesn't matter, he doesn't know me enough... enough of that... i'm going to bed... had to vent... I have a ton of cards I got over the last couple days, have not opened them yet, just got my mail today and I didn't have the strength or energy to look at my mail,...it depresses me

i'm back, just checking in real quick. no fill, after telling me how great i've done overall who cares that I've gained, go to the gym, keep it up, go to therapy to work through my issues and come back in 2-4 weeks and we will discuss a fill then. They don't think that is the answer to my problem right now... so ... cried in there... all the way home... fight with my mom which ended up me telling her how I feel like a failure every minute of my life and like I've let her down and still crying. I'll catch up reading later, i just wanted to update you all

I'm up to 220 today, gained 5lbs last night. but it was my first night back to work and I'm so swollen, retaining. that is why Idon't make my appts on any day except for Tuesday, After a day off because it is gone. I'm stressed about the hard time he is going to give me. breathe... help me be strong to get my fill

Can you stand it? I have been putting cash in my change jar from my deliveries. So i was able to round up enough money to pay my bill. I played the lottery and pick 4 last night... keep your fingers crossed. LOL Yup... I am struggling... but... trying to pull it all together so i can end this year on a decent note and start the new year on a better one.

Morning gals up after 5 hrs sleep.. TracyK- good luck being around all that food, and your bonus. I had to pay 269 today to keep my cable/phone on and well I don't have it. I only have $160 left of my pay so where am I going to come up with $100? actually dd gave me $20 towards mom/grams present I bought and I made $12 in tips on my 2 deliveries I took out last night. I am going to break out the change bucket - I think I have $30 in tip money i put in there so I just need $30 in change. pray for me girls, I can't afford a bounced check so anyway the point to that all was I have stress restriction.. but it is almost funny, it is not the same as being filled or maybe it is a mental thing, but I can eat bad stuff. I need a fill so I can't eat anything...I'm going to have a good protein shake for breakfast and then it is back to clear liquids for 10 days (I HAVE TO TELL MYSELF THAT) so i can get to onderland. well... off to shower so I can leave when ds is done with speech at 9 to make it to the dr on time. it snowed again last night. it is actually pretty uot there oh... did i mention my 10 year old cat is missing. he vanished last thursday, during our first storm, i think he must be locked in somewhere... maybe someone opened a garage or basement to get out the winter stuff and he got in. He did this before and came home xmas - was gone for over 3 weeks last time, but breaks my heart... i just keep waiting for him to show up

Hi gals just getting in from work, health dept is coming in tomorrow, it was nice they called but... that meant we had to get some basic scrubbing done... i'm beat and my feet hurt and swollen... great... just in time for my fill appt tomorrow. That is why I try to schedule appts after my day off to get rid of my swelling, but i'm going in, telling him what has been going on, and getting a fill. period. Everyone is baking away... good for you all, i don't have the will power to do it. Pam - hope you feel better night everyone

Kat, thanks for the update I am also a Days fan, I stopped watching about the same time but started watching again when I got laid off, They got new writers and some is good and some is crazy. LOL Terry - good thoughts for you girlfriend!

Morning gals What a day already. I did so good yesterday and then got a little bummed and lost it and ate myself silly. I'm happy i'm not really gaining but i'm bumming. Did anyone watch the finale of the biggest lossser last ngiht? The girl with the dark hair who was one of the final 4... when she left and they showed her going home and her struggle where she was crying, saying she was comfortable where she was and needed change.. well that hit the nail on the head for me, I was crying like a baby... I feel that way, once the compliments were rollling in I seemed to be content and stuck, besides all the ther stuff in my life that I'm' trying to change. SOOOOOOOOOO I picked up the phone and called my Dr today to make a fill appt, and It was either tomorrow or Jan 17, and I would like to eat xmas dinner but I can't wait another month. so, tomorrow it is, I'll have mushies for xmas and I don't care... I want to be thinner and I don't need food to make me that way. I am anxious about my ss gift, it went in the mail last week and still not there yet... any day, I don't have patience... I want you to have it right now... last week would have been good. I hope you all have a good day, I'm trying... your energy is all good. and I've been wearing my necklace from Terry and my mom brought me this great bracelet from AZ so I think the 2 of them are helping. Mom wanted to send me to a life coach, I am thinking about it to help me go in the right direction, I have things I could do but I need to focus on 1 and get there. ttfn

That is funny I had the same card at kat. I looked for a month until I found the one I loved. I just can't get cards to get them -(shhhhhhhhhh don't tell, but I'm slightly mental at times) Yup Judy... can you imagine .75 that is it. And yes, I'm learning all the bad things I can eat again, although i've only gained a couple, up and down i go so maint. is not going to be a problem, just getting the last 30 off, but if i get to 1.5 or 1.75 I think I'll be golden. but i am working out hard so that has to count for something. dbf just told me i need to wait til the 1st of the year to get to my next jean size because he is tapped until then... I told him not to worry. LOL Well, I lost my thought.. got a phone call, so i'm off to the gym before I lose what motivation i have left

Morning everyone Yesterday was a crazy day, cleaning up more snow and ice and then physical for both kids, and then dinner and we picked up mom at the airport. so DD who is only measured at 5'5 1/2" (NO WAY) she must have not been standing straigt because I measured 5'5" and she is at least 2" taller than me now weighs in at 143. I told her I am going to have to put my foot down. she is getting a little belly (very tiny) and a butt.... so after the holidays she is going to change how she is eating and start going to the gym. I keep reminding her how I have been struggling and ask her if she wants to be like that... she says no but continues to not care. Denise - I lost 23lbs total when I had dd, and that was at the end when I actually did gain a little at the end, threw up the entire 9 months and in the delivery room ordered a pizza the second she was out. LOL I would walk out the door with the temp change in the winter and puke... my neighbors loved me LOL Yup... I have decided... I am going to make an appt for the 1st week in jan - I need a fill... .75 in my 4cc band is just not cutting it right now... I am glad everyone is doing well, I will make it through the holidays and I can't wait for our trip in May. I wish i was going somewhere now. It is so cold here I'm stuck inside and need sunshine.

OMG.... was I sleep typing. LOL Tracy - this is me every day... which is not helping me get out of this horrible funk I'm in. I work and do dishes and clean every day for 8-10 hrs at work and I can't get my dd to do a single thing... and I freak and cry every day but still nothing. The only way things got done today is because she didn't want to listen to grammy nag at her when she gets back tomorrow. I made a pot of black bean/ sausage soup today too. It is now freezing rain out

morning gals kat - we rented it... new release we are going to see the alvin tomorrow or tuesday i've gained 100lbs or so i feel... back to liquids today we got dumped on last night 6-8 inches out there and it is still snowing a little and round 2 is going to be here this afternoon. I'm going to have some coffee and go snowblow denise - nice pic... glad you had a good time

strange, short and stupid movie... wouldn't recomment to waste your money it is starting to snow little - we are going to get a huge storm