Jennifur

That is so great Terry... way t go Tracy - you look absolutely fantastic sister!

I am so stinking excited about this trip. I wish it was here but i am going to purchase my ticket this week and get terry out the money for the room so i'm all set.

Way to go Judy I pb'd on a pc of roast beef yesterday so I am back on track today, I'm not going to weigh myself until Wed and I don't even want to know what I've gained this weekend. Oh well, move forward drinking coffee, just getting up. kids were all back in their beds last night, i got the best night sleep ever, or at least it seemed.

Hi guys just checking in, i'm mentally exhausted, got to leave work early and going to bed. i feel like i've gained 100lbs and so swollen Kat - thank you - I got your card. you are so sweet Terry - hows mom? I know how hard it is

Morning gals what a day. didn't hear anything about the job, but... there was a huge attorney event Thursday night - 400 people attended, attorneys and Judges so I'm sure he was busy or hung over. LOL My mom's friend who is one of my top references was here last night and she was playing phone tag with him but was so excited for me. I'll let you all know... man waiting is nuts. We had a great day yesterday - wake, services went well - mom and I are in such a good place, and gram has so been here with us all week, she is like the old gram, I think she is letting us know she is all better now. We did get completely wasted and had 35 people in my little house. Ok not normally so little but everyone was in the kitchen getting food for a bit and omg... crazy. Remember my neighbor who i was really good friends with who won't talk to me anymore... and I still don't know why... well I guess she was going to come to the wake and was trying to figure it out... then Thursday night out of no where her mom (who was sick on and off) passed away. I made her a tray of baked ziti and meatballs and sent it over with a note on the inside just telling her i was sorry. See, and one of the issues with her was that I am selfish. I didn't do it to prove a point, i did it because I care, I tried to bring it over myself but they were dealing with stuff and not home so I had annother neighbor run it over - since I had to deal with my own funeral and death this week. Anyway, I'm going to eat some left over lunch meat and stuff this weekend and Monday is back to reality... I need to lose this 5lbs I gained. How depressing Hope Michelle is having fun Tracyk - sorry that poor little thing is sick again, i hope she gets better soon denise - congrats on the house terry, tracyks, kat, judy, haydee.... HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morning gals just quick checking in. it has been so crazy and this morning I have my appointment with my dermatolgist that I made a month ago to get my burn on my hand looked at, I need to get my nails filled, clean the house a bit more, and get groceries for tonights thing at my house after the services and then be to the funeral home at 3:30, then at 7 come home and get completely wasted! shit... i need to get rock salt about the job, john from the employment agency called me yesterday afternoon to let me know hr and the attorney were getting together and he was pretty sure to make me an offer and make sure I was still interested... excited and anxious is what i told him. So he thinks I should have my offer today... You all will probably be the first to know. I'll check in, i have to put my laptop away later so I might be mia for a bit

Well - i'm hovering between 200 - 203 depending on the day, i'm just going to not worry about it until Sat. We have $300 worth of food being delivered Friday night so i'm not going to eprive myself, plus going to get some grape vodka. I can tolerate that so much better than rasp for some reason. I'm off, mom got a coupon for jc penney for 75% off, so shopping we go.

morning gals going to spend the morning with mom which will be very nice. I'm just getting up drinking coffee and so tired, just emotionally drained. Terry - please vent away, I did and it sure did make me feel a little better Michelle - you do deserve a drink... that is a huge scret

Laura I'm so glad you are ok, I was just watching the news and saw what was happening and was thinking about you.

are we there yet?

I will have pic on friday if not sooner, I just can't get a pic of myself and since we will all be here friday i'll get it I hit Sunday but bounced up a lb so didn't change my ticker just yet

holy crap guys I was talking to my gram this morning about helping me get this job today and then the calls started, the attorney himself is checking my references holding my breath Pam, sorry your knee is bad Terry - I'm so sorry about your mom, it is not an easy thing. Make sure you rest and eat. LOL like I'm one to talk Tracyks- congrats on the loss you rock everyone else, hi!!!!! i'm still catching up

here is the new one. obviously i'm enjoying my quiet this morning. you can see the original one because of the color difference. When the scab falls off the new will blend right in. The butterfly is old too. doesn't it look so cute with my skull flip flops? I am going to add a snap dragon to the outside at one point. They were the flower that is my fondest memory of my gram.

morning gals sorry for my blah blah blah, I feel better. Food for Friday is taken care of and all is well. The gals are going up to my sisters and taking ds with them which is great. I'm going to clean my room and do some laundry. i'll be in and out and going to catch up on all the post i've missed

hi gals just checking in. Long ass day, but I have not killed my aunt and have kept my mouth shut. Some are very proud of me, and others just don't now how much she is pushing my buttons, but she did just loose her mom but the thing that boggles my mind the most is that she was in the convent working on becoming a num and she does not believ in god. How does that happen?????? But god or no god, it has been a very spiritual experience for me and I don't have a single bad memory even with my gram being completely unknowing for 3 years. now that is a special gift I know she made sure I had before she left us Anyway, i'm completely wasted on 1 drink ... completely, i'm silly at this point. But I am going to send ya'll pics of my tattoo and i'll get pics of me in my dress that i have never fit in on friday when I go to the wake. new hair and all >LOL i'm going to bed, before I fall over since i've had maybe 6 hrs sleep in 3 nights and just had a drink and 1/2. I love ya'll and consider you all part of my family and can't wait until May! night i'll check in tomorrow

i'm off -- thank you for your power grils still waiting to hear on the job, anxiously. very anxiously. as far as I know they had my paperwork in HR on friday morning and finalizing stuff but I have heard nothing, I'm a wreck, I know it is mine but would like not to be waiting anymore. I'll keep you all posted and Pam, my aunt is still alive. LOL so i guess it is ok

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAURA! Just checking in- yesterday was a day, crazy running, went to dinner with a friend, we had a couple of drinks and got a tattoo, I was trying hard to stay distracted and not go sit with gram - went and kissed her good night... talked to her and came home about midnight - she passed away at 2:30. Today is going to be a crazy day - but i'll check in later. totally blew my weight loss yesterday, back up to 204 from 200 so close, but i'll get it back quick

well ladies, it is 4:40am and I am just getting in, no sleep yesterday then worked holy crap we sold out of pizza dough 3 times, which she makes from scratch, sold out of wings by 5:50 along with a list of other things, came home and my aunt was home with the kids, so I got mom some popcorn and milk and went over. Gram opened her eyes right before I got there, Wide open, they have not been opened at all in over 3 days and then her breathing changes and she had this look of peace, her hands got purple, he legs were rock hard and ice cold all the way up. She was getting dark spots from where her blood was pooling from lack of circulation and mom and I both just started laughing and telling her to go and getting visuals of wonderful memories, just like our wonderful experience on Saturday... and her breathing changed and her hands turned normal color and when I just left her leg was hot, all the way down to her toes! WTF???? LOL I don't know if my family will every know or appreciate what mom and I have been through. I was talking to the nurse on my way out and she said she wouldn't have believed it if she didn't see it herself. She did spike a fever of 102 earlier last night and is gurgling again so maybe the meds she has been getting to make her comfortable are beginning not to work anymore, which we knew was a possibility. She sure is doing it her way. I told her when I was leaving that it was time for her to let go (Again) and that mom really needed to get some rest - she is just so tired, at least i'll get a an hour a night in bed. Maybe that will be what she needs, maybe she is so happy with the 2 of us together she won't let go? I don't know but she's something. I'm going to get an hour nap before I have to get up with the kids. I'll check in when I can thanks all Pam - It really is a very special thing and mom and I will have such memories of my gram, but this will just complete them. Tracyk - hope frank is ok... congrats on the wl! you go girl

I'm still holding 200 this morning... guess considering yesterday that is great. have a nutritionist appt tomorrow morning

Kat, mom requested all that food. LOL Gram is still holding on, but her color has changed, mom called and told me to sleep a bit more, so I did and now i'm getting up after the worst night sleep and 4 hrs, showered and going over. I have never been with anyone before when they actually died. Mom and I bonded last n ight like never before. We laughed, we cried, we talked to my grams sisters, we just crawled in bed with my gram. When her breathing was stopping then starting, mom and I took turns just bursting out laughing and crying. out of no where I remembered things like my gram was communicating with me. We were talking about her services. Then my aunt the control freak came in at 1:30... she objected to everything my mom said and then said she wanted a closed casket because she didn't like wakes... PLEASE - she is a control freak over my mom and I think my gram felt it and like she couldn't leave. Her oxygen bounced up to 88 on her own and her breathing picked up. kind of funny isn't it- it was like her calm state was gone. I swear mom and I at the same time, when we were frantically waiting for my aunt felt someone coming in for my gram. It was such a spirtiual amazing night but I am mentally done. I have to work and if she survives going back Laura - I'm so glad you got your card and hope you have the best birthday. I'm going to take a before of my tattoo, but I think I'm going to get a new one tomorrow with my oldest friend... she is a tattoo virgin.

Pamela, I sent her wings, sweet potatoe fries an 3 bags of kettle chips and 2 diet dr. peppers, all of which were gone in an hour and now... besides me, I'm bringing her chocolate at her request. man... no wonder I was 278 at the beginning of this journey, learning to stress eat from my mom. LOL anyway, gram is way drugged and comfortable now, but we don't think it is going to be long

thank you gals for your prayers. Please pray she goes "home" soon. My aunt who never does anything for anyone even came today and my aunt from LA is on her way and I have to pick her up at midnight. My gram is squirming and moaning, is is just so horrible to watch her like this but I'm so glad I can be there this afternoon with her and for my mom. My mom... well she is a stress eater so I'm getting her wings, sweet potatoe fries and kettle chips. just wanted to check in and thank you all. i'll catch up later

Well, change in plans, my gram has been in a nursing home and is a long sad story but anyway, her lungs are filling up, we have a dnr on her and they are not allowed to do anything to prolong her life, nothing except pain management. Mom is a hospice nurse and she said we need to get over there. It is so sad but would be such a blessing, she has been in such a state... last xmas we were called to come say good bye and here we are over a year later. So we have been praying every day that the lord takes her.

Love you Terry....... you look great... and remember it is harder for numbers to go down the less we weigh. I have been stuck for months too, One day at a time. but I know the feeling about B&A. sometimes when I go on I don't understand why I can't see such a difference in me and get depressed.

GOOOOOOOOOOD Morning gals I'm up for the challange... as my scale read 200 first thing this morning. I have been weighing in when I shower too and i'm usually the same or a little less, on nights I work I am a little bloated first thing in the am. I will be in Onederland tomorrow!!!!! Holy crap, I'm so excited i can't stand it. My lowest in 15 years that I can remember is 198. When I was 19 I got down to 150 and I was in a small everything but hated jeans so don't know... but size 8 skirts. I can't imagine myself 50lbs less, I will be the size of my dd. soooo I WILL CTC Today. going to JCPenney with mom in a bit to get some work clothes for my new job that I will have next week. Everyone looked nice but business casual and Friday is dress down day. Michelle - did you get the capir's. If they work I found the other pair and will get them out to you.