Jennifur

just wanted to say a quick good morning, i'm sharing a small office again, just like the beginning of the job I can't think about no pay for a week but i'm exhausted and would just like to take a day or 2 off without running kids, without me running, not being sick... just a day or 2 to breathe... no housework... sitting on the deck soaking up the sun i ate like crap last night, pms i'm sure... had 1/2 cup sf ice cream, 1/2 cup mashed potatoes and 3 chicken tenders... not all at the same time, from the minute i walked in the door until the minute i went to bed... and all i really wanted was some popcorn, and i didn't have any... went to the store this am.... so that is my dinner tonight i'll try to check back in if i'm alone... have a great day

Terry You guys are in my prayers... that must be so difficult

Terry I didn't call for results, my dr confirmed what i read, that it was a diagonis that is best determined because the lyme doesn't always show right away, sometimes 6 mos to a year before positive test... I got the bite about 3 1/2 weeks before i felt so bad i went to the dr, so they think I caught it early. Good thing i'm super sensitive and have severe reactions very early! it has been 10 days of antibiotics and i'm able to stay awake until 9- the last few nights, vs going to bed with Dyan at 7:00 and having to fight to stay awake that long. The muscle aches still kind of come and go, but they are nothing like they were, and i'm sleeping again. The Lexapro is helping with the severe depression that came with all this too, and overall, i think it is good for now. I was having anger fits before the depression, I actually almost got into a bar fight the weekend before the muscle thing got out of hand. You have all seen me, i'm a happy drinker... I was so angry, my friends were ready to drag me out of the bar... unwillingly, and i just ordered my first drink, so it was not like i was smashed or anything. So... I guess i'm beginning to feel more like myself, and the anti depressants are keeping me from having a stroke over the fact i'm done working next friday! I should be freaking out! they are doing the punch list now, it is huge, maybe i'll be here until June 1? LOL

Haydee i had ice cream for dinner too... soft vanilla with rainbow sprinkles... a far cry from my eddy's 1/2 or sugar free...

I'm starving corn toasties for breakfast... they work so well everyone has been telling me the weight gain horror stories of lexapro... i lost 3lbs... so i'll take that. i'm still borderline a mess so i can't get into that right now but getting better still starving... and i have a dish of icecream everynight too... but now want nachos!

hi guys sorry I lost my thought, owner of the company came in. As of right now, it looks like i'm going to be unemployed for a couple of weeks, or so i'm still praying for this job to come through, there is nothing out there... but i have to prepare for the worst. Today is the inspection for the punch list, so lots of company, man am i stressed

Tracy - nice to see you... i'm kind of mia too... issues I am still addicted to Nacho's... pulled pork ones... and guacamole... you guys have me hooked. Terry- I'm glad everything is ok, i was just catching up and was worried to death

thanks gals i have another meeting on Tuesday, hope to know something. I'm also applying for another job today, i found it last night just couldn't think straight to get my letter/resume perfect for this one. I am so sick from an

Jane drink warm lemon water, it will work... then ask dr for water pills

hi guys just winding down from my day, spend so much time on the computer finishing things up and starting new things up here. I'm nervous about my potential new job, i've never done marketing... but i love and promote the company so can't be too hard. right? I should know next week, but I'm going to apply for a job i found today with our electric company, great benefits I am feeling a little better... but my stomach is a mess from the antibiotics. afraid to get on the scale - i'm eating not much but crap that makes my tummy feel better... anyway, freaking about everything... but wanted to pop in and say hello to you all... I don't feel like i'm part of the crew anymore... kind of makes me sad... but i won't leave ya'll like unwanted kittens...

hi gals just wanted to check in I'm beat today and antibiotics are kicking my butt on top of it all...i'm going to bed early tonight and hope to sleep all night Pamela, I took online classes and hated to bother my instructor... I would ask questions, but that is crazy... Laura, I saw pics on facebook, he is so cute! I'm so happy for you... motherhood is a great thing Terry - I am sure you will enjoy the mountains.... Tracyk - go you... when i am not working or home working in 3 weeks, i'm going to start walking again, i just can't do it now, i just got in from a property walk and my legs hurt so badly... oh... long overdue for tylenol... that might help hi everyone... Judy, feel better! Where is TracyinKS? i didn't see anything from her when i was trying to catch up Kat how is the job?

hi guys a quick check in- really busy at work and should not even be fooling around but i miss you all glad to see everyone is motivated... me ... not at all, i am not feeling well and so tired in bed early... have not left my house other than work in weeks. My friends are dragging me out for Cinco de Mayo tonight but i told them i'm driving and not staying long. Job is still up in the air... looking good, but up in the air, I should know by the end of the week anyway, back to work, i have a rocking headache and my fingers are twitching for no apparent reason and i'm in bed at 7:30 every night with ds, but my leg aches are not nearly as bad as they were. USE BUG SPRAY IF YOU GO IN THE WOODS! Lyme sucks!

hi everyone just wanted to check in, it has been a very trying few weeks. My test wont be back for a week, but dr is almost sure and is treating me for Lyme disease, so on that happy note, I have been in bed by 7:30-8pm every night and up by 11 and tossing and turning because my legs hurt so badly and i'm so bone chilling cold i can't function. I have that undercontrol with tylenol every 3 1/2 hrs and start antibiotics today. I am still uncertain about my job... but i'm so tired right now i don't care. I also started lexapro because of my anxiety and depression that has been raging, but is also a symptom of lyme. I don' know if i like it, i'm now even more tired and numb which i don't like at all. anyway, i hope you are all doing well. Wish I could have lunch with you tx gals. i'm going to go find something to do to keep me awake for a bit, then to bed early

hi gals checking in... have not had a computer for a week and just getting hooked up at work. Pamela - Congrats ... I'm so proud of you Laura - well... words cannot describe the feeling of motherhood... can it? He is so cute I can't stand it Tracy and Terry - i tried to email over the weekend to say i'm still alive but used my phone so who the heck knows what happened. Susie, yes I got your package, thank you so much... Sorry I couldn't thank you earlier, i have been very limited on my phone hope everyone else is doing well i'm exhausted and bloated and have eaten like shit... excuse my swearing....no other way to describe, i'm hurting so badly i don't care what i eat when i have a minute to eat and retaining so much water it is horrible.... oh well, i'm trying to get focused.

Morning gals Happy Easter hope you all have a great day Tracyk = congrat on the 3.5 i'm going to be moderately bad today,, cant eat much so could be worse, but that is ok... i went shopping yesterday and am going to have a great week

Morning gals glad it seems all is well for everyone for the most part I needed this fill, bouncing between 198-201 but better. I've realized in the last 48 hrs what i need to do to get some more weight off... besides walk. In the beginning, i made sure i was getting 64g protein... and so what i'm on soup, the last 48hrs i've been getting soup out, which is not good... but i am only getting 30-35g protein a day the last 2, and stopped loosing. So tomorrow i am going shopping tomorrow and make a menu for the week, tuna, salsa, high protein buritos... the things i ate back in the beginning. I was nuts looking for my food journal last night and couldn't find it, so i'm going to get it together, might pick for Easter, i'm making Eggplant Rolatini (eggplant and cheese stuffing), i'm back and hope it works!

Morning gals up and drinking coffee. I had the best cup of seafood chowder last night, I'm sure it was not low fat like the soups i make, but boy was it good, and the seafood was so tender it melted in my mouth Judy can't wait to see pics Kat - it seems strange that you are working, but glad it is going well.... I found out last night they extended unemployment to 59weeks and gave a $30 raise... so after taxes i would only be getting $100 a week less than i make with no over time. It is a struggle now but i'm getting regular child support, which i wasn't when i was on unemployment last time, so i could survive. what is wrong with people???? i'm sitting here typing and watching the news... they found that poor 8 year old CA girl in a suitcase in an irrigation ditch? WTF? These poor innocent children - my heart hurts for the families, i would not be able to go on if anythinghappened to y children. anyway... have a good day, going to get dressed and out of here

hi gals just checking in nice to have you back Judy i'm holding strong today still 198, had a protein shake for breakfast and 2 cups of soup today and i'm full... going to have a liquid dinner.... some cranberry juice wink wink... anyway, going to see a local band for a bit hope you have a great night

Morning gals Jane, I love that song, it is on my mp3 today is another day, going to start digging holes in the back yard and moving my retaining wall, got my laundryroom/dylans playroom emptied and cleaned yesterday, with anticipation that is going to be my new office (keep praying) Have a few odds and ends to put away but today is going to be the only nice day so i'm going to clean out the back yard and have to get rid of my dumpster Tuesday, and it will be full today. I freaked out and told my kids that we need to have a spotless house all the time if i'm going to be working from home as a base, because i'm sure since it will be our office the super who will relocate here will be stopping in daily for work and people will eventually be in and out. Before DS i was a total neat freak (also weighed 10lbs more than i do right now, with no belly flab so i was ok with that) and we are getting back to that world, there is no reason for taking a year to get this place cleaned and spotless. I am back to 198 today, probably too full, but i can drink so i don't care, i needed this. Started protein shakes yesterday .... full and felt pretty good, so down 11lbs in a week including the 5pms - but have some motivation to rock this band again. 2lbs away from my post surgery weigh (gall bladder) so i'm happy, i'm going to blow that away, but keep my next goal simple, at 190. that is only 8lbs, i can do that. Anyway, Kev has been dealing with a bout of his severe depression from the accident, sometimes it doesn't take much to set him off, it has been a very hard week, because he pulled away, didn't vanish on me which is a huge step, but it was still hard. We made it, he got an emergency head dr appt, and was there for 2 hrs and talked about us for 3/4 of that and left feeling much better. He has an assignment of writing an essay for her to tell her what our life will be like when he moves in and our relationship. It got my head spinning and i did the same thing and sent it to him - I know that it will be different for both of us in different ways but he has been telling me for months that we can get through the past and move on only if we do it together... so when he was not good this week, i just kept reminding him of that.... something worked. There is hope for us .... by him not vanishing and at least calling me to let me know he was in meltdown mode was a huge huge step for him. Well enough of my blah blah blah, that is pretty much where i've been for the last couple of weeks, depressed and angry about all that stuff, but holding on and not jumping off the bridge, it is coming together... maybe it is finally going to be my time to shine! Thanks everyone for being such great friends.....

Morning gals i missed a lot i guess... Michelle and Haydee ... you guys are going to cali????? how nice They had a work meeting Thursday and I have become really tight with the head of marketing...There was a couple of meetings but one of them was about me/an office in ENY. They were the committe to either approve or reject the proposal i put out there to open an office here. My friend didn't say much because well... i'm a favorite and he wanted to see where everyone else was going with this... and well.... approved and going for final approval to the owner (who already told me how he feels) next week and proposal was to get it up and running while i'm finishing up this job, so May... which means I should know for sure if i'm going to be working from home very soon. PRAY for me girls. I want this so bad i can taste it. I am going to watch Michelle today I am glad winter is over but spring here.... April showers.... may flowers... well now all it is doing is raining!

Morning gals I am at work, kind of quiet, but here Terry - never got it because i don't know where i'm going to be working and don't know what to do, i can't do anything if i'm only getting $400 a week to live on. This job thing is killing me, and now it looks like i'm going to be here until June 1 at least. I don't know what to do, my life is spinning out of control Jane - i'm so sorry, I feel the same way every day, why was it so easy and now I can't lose an ounce. I want it so badly and all the things i did worked, but do not now. In reality i've lost 20lbs in the last year, ok since May when I started this job, but i only want to lose 20 more, not 80 more which is where people tell me i should be... so instead, i get depressed and go to bed, that helps... that is all i've been doing, working and sleeping, i'm so unhappy i don't know what to do with myself on that happy note, I'm off tomorrow, so that will be good, i need to finish cleaning the house, so close to finishing up

Morning gals i have a lot going on, just completely stressed about everything, kev (not bad, just not quite where i want it yet) job, money, the fact i'm a fat ass and can't lose anything, and the job thing, i don't know what to do about our trip and that is eating me up. I did go get a fill yesterday, first one in a year, i expected great things this am when i got up and nope, gained 1/2 lb I went from 1.25 to 1 so they filled me back to 1.25 and i can't get another appt until 7/9 so i hope it was enough. It took 20 minutes to drink 1 cup of coffee so i hope that i can get back to onderland soon, was 202 yest at dr and monday from pms was up to 209 - i can't imagine that is good for my body, that is massive and how does it happen? anyway, miss you all - just trying to make it through every day, I guess if i know what was happening with my current job it would help me make decisions on what to do. I am in Safety class today so i'll try to check in when i get home

hi guys just checking in real quick- almost a week late with TOM felt really bloated yest and was up 5 lbs, and it finally came today and i feel less bloated but get this... up another 5.5lbs today. HOW THE F' do you gain 10lbs in 2 days, I have an appt with Dr. on Thursday and I am so depressed i'm up that much I want to hang myself. How does that even happen, I work hard and gain a ton, don't do anything and hover 1-2lbs, which i can live with. anyway, just had to vent, i'll come back later and get caught up from the weekend, between weight and job, i just don't know how much more i can take

<div style="width:480px;text-align:right;"><embed width="480" height="360" src="http://feed718.photobucket.com/flash/rss_slideshow.swf?rssFeed=http%3A%2F%2Ffeed718.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fww181%2Fjlstroman-2009%2Fwindow%2Ffeed.rss" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" /><a href="Image hosting, free photo sharing & video sharing at Photobucket" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/share/icons/embed/btn_geturs.gif" style="border:none;" /></a><a href="window pictures by jlstroman-2009 - Photobucket" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/share/icons/embed/btn_viewall.gif" style="border:none;" /></a></div> here is a progress pic, doesn't even look like the same room

Morning gals running late, long night. tried no pain pills... bad move not quite there yet. i hate TOM, ever since i got my tubes tied ... i get a little spotting and goes away for 2 days (but still feel horrible) then on Friday night comes back for 2 days then and from Tues/Wed (spotting day) until Sunday I am so drained, I just can't get enough sleep. My door is in, but left my camera at home, today they are going to put trim up and lights outside and finish up some little stuff, that room looks amazing. i'll try to get a pic from my phone and email it later even not finished it is an amazing difference have a great day everyone