Lisa's Hope

You're an inspiration! The metabolic profile was a blood analysis done by my PCP. My metabolism is low only because I'm not eating or exercising enough. Hopefully, I can turn it around. The encouragement helps! Y'all have given me a push and so for today things are better. Thanks <3

Thank you so much for your advice. I'm like that too with sugar. I'm an addict. I need not have it. I know you are right about getting a few weeks under my belt. It will be a lot easier.

I will try those. Where do you purchase the Click or Chike? Thanks for your encouragement.

I've started today with getting rid of the sugar creamers and am trying stevia and sugar free creamers (even though I know they aren't good for me health wise) and I finally ate Breakfast for the first time in months. I didn't have a shake but an organic egg, spinach, and 35 calorie sliced cheese. I'm going to try and detox from the sugar. I also made "fruit water" with apples, grapefruit, and tangerines. I would love some strawberries but didn't have any at the store so I will try that next time. The grapefruit is supposed to be good to help detox the liver. I do not have any more fudgesicles at all. That will be the test for me tonight. During the day is easy. I had to MAKE myself eat breakfast. I didn't like it and couldn't finish it but almost all of it. Now for lunch? I just really hate eating during the day. I did have blood work awhile back and my PCP said my metabolism was nill. I am walking now like I said in my first post. Not sure everyone read it all. I am disabled with back issues... won't go into all of that because most people don't believe it anyway but after working 33 years, the Dr's suggested disability and I have been receiving my benefits I paid in over that time for a year now. So walking is great. Although today we have sleet so I will do a walking tape. Jane, I can't thank you enough! You are so nice to help me out. All of your suggestions are great. I will keep you posted on how I'm doing. I did download an app from my surgery center called "My Newself" which is like my fitness pal. Started logging today. God bless you and thanks again for all the encouragement.... Oh.. I don't drink at all. So none of my calories are from alcohol.

Thank you. This isn't my post but this is the kind of advice I was looking for earlier on my post. All, I got was, "we can't help you". Well except for one person who was nice enough to be kind. The reminders help. I realize my actions are mine and I am the only one that can change but support from a "support" group is nice for a change.

Thank you for your understanding. I messaged you. I really need advice on what you are eating this far out. I appreciate the support.

Thanks Ann for your support. Yes I've been posting about this. I think 3 post since my husband died. Yes, it is ultimately up to me. I was hoping to get some advice from the veterans about food and what they are eating this far out. I'm 2 1/2 years out so things are different with my body than it is with yours since you just had surgery in August and are still in the "honeymoon" phase. I did lose a 130 pounds. Tragedy in someones life especially since I watched my spouse suffer and be ate up by cancer can do this to someone. I wasn't asking about my mental state. Things change when you are further out. But thanks again for taking your time to post and tell me this. I appreciate it. I thought the vets forum was for people that are one year out and more? I was asking for help with the types of food and meal plans. You seem a little judgemental. I wouldn't be that way If I were you. It is easier to gain this far out.

Thank you. Its hard and I've regained 40 pounds so my liver enzymes are up again.

Please get a scan. Not wanting to scare you because I have fatty liver also and have for years. My scans show that the liver is still fatty but I do not have cirrhosis. My husband had NASH and was a diabetic also. He never drank. Not even a little. He had fatty liver for years also but we didn't know because the physician even after 15 years of blood work and care never ordered a scan. My husband was diagnosed with Hepatocellular Carcinoma caused from NASH in January and passed away in June. I implore you to please tell your dr to scan you to see how your liver looks. God bless and I know how you feel because I have the same thing. When I got to a normal weight, my enzymes were normal. The scans should be done yearly. If they had caught this earlier, he would here now I really believe.

I'm 2 1/2 years out from sleeve. Since 10 months out I've had horrid esophageal spasms, GERD, bile reflux, acid reflux, and gastritis. I've learned to control the spasms with medication and drinking sips of Water really fast. I've been fighting this for a long time and every surgeon says I have only one option, and that is to revise. I know the revision will help the GERD but the esophageal spasms ... not so much. As many of you know, I lost my husband to cancer on June 8th. He was 48 years old. My life is upside down. I put off taking care of this problem because he was so sick and I had to take care of him. I'm in such pain every day and I just don't know what to do. I've also gained 25 pounds back by drinking sugary coffee. I don't eat and I'm malnourished. I know y'all have heard all of this before. My main focus is feeling better. I could care less about my weight now. I'm just tired of the pain. If I have to do this surgery, I will have to pay out of pocket. The insurance I had when I had the sleeve didn't pay and the insurance I have now isn't going to. This will be 25,000 which I will have to use my husbands life insurance to do. I'm disabled because of my back now and I live on a fixed income. I guess I'm writing this because I need ALL the feedback from anyone that had revision to bypass from sleeve and I need to know the good, bad, and ugly. Please be honest and help me with this decision. I can't keep going like this. I just can't I'm trying to get in with a new surgeon because my old one moved to Florida. It is so hard getting in with this particular surgeon I want to see so I have no idea if and when that will happen. I may have to go to the surgeon that took my surgeons place. I really don't want to. I'm scared to death but I'd rather not live if I have to live like this with this pain every day of my life. I've heard horror stories about the bypass and the sleeve. I know there are risks with everything. Thank you in advance for all of your input!

I've decided not to have revision. I've read of so many complications and I'm taking my chances with theBile reflux, Gerd, esophageal spasms I have now. Even though they bypass and you don't feel burn anymore, it does nothing for spasms and also the ulcers which GB is famous for. I've read of people on feeding tubes and more surgery to remove the ulcers. One young woman is really having a hard time. They have no more stomach to work with. No, not all have problems with GB but a lot do. So I guess it is what it is for me. There is a new procedure called Stretta Procedure and it helps the LES stay closed. Researching this for sleeve patients. Thanks to all for your input.

As most of you know, the love of my life passed away at the age of 48 on June 8. He was really my world but I know I have to move on. I'm up 23 pounds since his diagnosis and death in the past 6 months. The last 10 pounds came on quick. I've actually put off my blood work for 6 months and am having this done on Wed. I do not have a thyroid so if my levels are off it could cause some of the gain. I honestly do not eat. I know that is part of the problem. I don't eat food much and when I do I get nauseous. I drink lattes and frappes and eat fudge sickles and just sugar liquid that just goes right on down and gives me the a good feeling of comfort for awhile. Caffeine and sugar. Sugar the devil! I'm so disappointed in myself. I know that my husband wouldn't want me to do this. I try every day to do better but to no avail. I've tried sugar free crap. I hate it. Unfortunately, the sugar is my comfort and my demise. I am 2 years and 2 months out and I kept off my weight until his diagnosis in January. I know that people say that a 20 lb weight gain is pretty normal this far out but I never made it to goal. I feel so fat and terrible. I can't wear my size 10 or 12's and now its back to a 14/16. I just hate it. Lord, I need help. I'm attaching a poem I wrote called "Heaven On A Sunday". This is exactly how the last day of my husbands life really was. I know I'm traumatized because taking care of him for the last 6 months and losing him is just so much to handle. Seeing cancer eat up the person you love so very much. Seeing him go from 48 to looking 90 is beyond what I can comprehend. I miss him very much. Thanks for reading and I appreciate all of you. Heaven On A Sunday You left me on a Sunday. My life will never be the same. Such a day of suffering for you and me; But yours was so much more to be. You tried to talk but could not. Still things you and I needed to say. You tried to grab my hand to say good bye, But you had no strength left inside. You turned to look at me with those once beautiful eyes. Now showing stress of your long journey of this terrible thing inside. You seem to say to me everything would be okay. You were on your way to Heaven on this Sunday. As I watched your breath so labored and hard, Your chest rises and falls. My heart breaks into pieces to never be whole again. I see the pain you have endured and the scars on your body of a battle you fought so very hard. Tears rolled down my cheeks for the last time your name I call. I kiss your lips and tell you to go with our Savior. I watch you with my heart overflowing with love, As life leaves your face and you look at me for the very last time. I know you have gone above. Your body relaxes and my heart is crushed. I know my life will never be the same. God took you home at seven on a Sunday. I can’t seem to get away from the pain. I live with the pain of losing you everyday. I relive each and every heartbreaking moment of that Sunday. I pray for strength, Grace, and Mercy. God please take my pain away. I pray the pain will lessen and my heart won’t break as much next Sunday as today. God took you home on a Sunday. I miss you more than I can say. If I had a choice of what day our Lord would come for me, I have to say, I would choose to go to Heaven on a Sunday. Just like the Lord took you that day. Written by Lisa Beckermann for her Love Barry Bear.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much! <3

Not sure what that means either.. lol I too have spasms.. They are so painful. Let me know how you do!

I need more feedback. I know Little Miss Diva had to revise. I follow her on facebook. I should contact her. Thank you . I hope I get some more responses. I know a lot of people have had to revise so I hope they chime and and give me their experiences. I know of a few people. Some doing well some not. I'm older and I think the younger you are the better you have a chance to do well. Not always the case but I'm sure it helps.

I have bile reflux, gastritis, severe Gerd. Surgeon wants to revise to bypass.. but I won't and my insurance won't pay anyway. I was self pay for the sleeve. I need to do something but I don't want to have the bypass. I have no clue what I will do. I'm on carafate as well and dexilant. It helps, but not much.

Thank you so much. I had his headstone set yesterday. It was a hard day. I'm so upset. I miss him more than I can even express. I'm still gaining weight. Lord, I need help. I'm not eating just still drinking the sugar in coffee and eating fudgesicles. So basically. I'm addicted to sugar but only the kind I drink or like I said fudgesicles. My PCP did labs and told me my metabolism is non existent. I need to get out and walk and stop the stupid fudgesicles!! Pray for me. I'm so scared I'm going to gain back ALL of my weight. :'( He was 48. His birthday is coming up next month. God help me love myself because he wouldn't want this for me. Here is a picture of his stone. He loved his trucks. He built them from the frame up. The one on the stone is his last project. A 1949 Chevrolet. God I miss him.

All I can say is I need help. On May 21st I will be 2 years post op. Since my husbands diagnosis of terminal cancer in January, I have been off track. He is getting worse by the day and watching the man I know and love so much slowly disappear in front of my eyes is heartbreaking. I cry every night after he goes to sleep. I know I have to travel this journey and I'm trying so hard to hold it together. I don't think he will be here two more months. When we got married 10 years ago, I knew I had finally found my soul mate. He is 48. I guess the reason I'm writing this is to ask for encouragement or something.. I don't know really... to get back on track. I don't eat much all day until late. I drink caffeine and sugar most of the day. I start off with a Protein coffee I make myself and I use sugar free caramel syrup but use regular french vanilla creamer. I also use either 6 star protein ready made Protein shakes or advantage. I can drink three of those a day which is 600 to 800 calories! Then I eat one meal. Usually, it is a healthy meal. I don't crave bad food. Just sugar!!! I eat fudgesicles at night. Why am I so hooked on them?????!? They have 70 calories each but I can eat 5 or 6 of them and I know that is why I'm gaining weight. Seems I feel bad all day until I'm alone in the dark watching TV and eating them. It is comfort and I know it! Reverting back to an old very familiar habit of using food to help me feel better. My all time high weight was 300 and I reached 168. Now I'm back to 189 and I'm so scared. I don't see myself being strong enough to change now. I see 200 getting closer and closer and I know once I cross that line again... oh Lord... I don't want to think about it. I know that I am the ONLY one that can change and help myself. I really don't know what I want from you all. I guess maybe I just need to vent. I'm still struggling with bile reflux, gastritis, and acid reflux. Also terrible esophageal spasms. I'm so stressed. I am my husbands caretaker. My Dr. did change me to Dexilant and it really is so much better than Prilosec. I can tell such a difference but it hasn't cured anything, but helps. My husband and I met with hospice yesterday and we decided not to go with them right now. He is moving around and still himself and able to do a few things on his own. So, I have to respect his wishes. I really don't want them here just yet either. Heck the Dr's said for me to call them back in January! No way. Anyway, thanks for reading. I just needed to get things out. I appreciate you all. Here is a pic of before, then at 168 and now. I really want so bad to reach my goal of 155. SO BAD!!

Thank you Rosy, but my husband died June 8th.

Not trying to give you unhealthy advice but I tell you that coffee frappes and ice cream will put it on you. Seriously, I know it is a problem for you. I'm having issues because I don't eat AT ALL. No food, just liquid calories and my blood work shows my metabolism is almost no existent. Since my husband died, all I do is drink sugar. Not soda. Caffeine and sugar. It has put 23 pounds on me since January and I'm very unhealthy. You could try Boost or Ensure and drink while you are just busy doing everyday things. That should help. I'm hoping to get my wits back about me and get this weight back off. I'm so depressed because I can't get into my clothes I purchased. I feel like a failure again. So hard fighting this "weight" thing.

Thank you all for your love and support. I appreciate all of your advice. It really does help me. I went to the Dr. yesterday and I am now waiting on blood work results. He did say that I have Vitamin deficiency because my taste buds on the back of my tongue are swollen. I'd never heard of that. Also, the thinks my thyroid (tsh) levels are off. He is very thorough. He is my PCP not my surgeon. I also am having spasms as before caused by the bile reflux and as always they want me to revise. I have to keep that on hold for a bit longer. Thanks again for the support. I appreciate all of you!!

Becky, Sweet girl. You will be ok. I just know it. Don't worry so much about the pain meds. You can taper off them by yourself if need be. Since your surgery is next week, I think I would start tapering off now. I don't know how many you take but start taking less by 1/2 dose for three days then take one pill lessfor 3 days and so on. Taper off even it if takes until after surgery. If the dose is every 4 hours, take every 8, then drop by one pill everyday until you get to one a day. You can do this. You need this surgery and have been so sick for too long. You will do great!! You are one of the nicest young women I've met online and I'm going to do my best to come and see you in the hospital next week. You are going to be so much better. Go into this with a smile. It is going to be OK! Praying for you and God is good even though sometimes we question our lives. Put your trust in HIM!!! Faith and trust little girl! <3 Much love!

The love of my life passed away last Sunday at 7:05 pm. His last days were filled with tremendous suffering that haunts me. The better half of my life is gone and I have no idea how to me me without him. Yes life goes on but right now it has stopped for me. Six long months of suffering and yes I know he is with Jesus but I miss him and am selfish and want him back. I'm broken.