MeganA

BigPaul- Thank you. You hit the nail on the head for me. And you know what? I have decided that I will not go quietly...I'm going to stay and if the hijacker starts up again, I'm taking it to the mattresses. Megan

Alex you are always so darn level headed. You're right, as usual. :-) Megan

Check out this face. I think he likes to have his picture taken.

I've got a crazy week so I apologize to anyone who has PMed me that I have not gotten back to. I will, I promise! Here is another photo for you guys of the dogs. I'll write more tomorrow when I'm at work and supposed to be working but I'm really playing on LBT.

I only know why I took a break and have concidered making it a lonnnggg one. I get frustrated when new people come on board and try to tell everyone else what to do/what works/what doesn't work. It makes my blood boil because this is such a personal journey and I find it ironic that someone who has been overweight all their life can tell anyone else how to lose weight. We only know what works for us. So, out of frustration and not having the time or wanting to take the energy to fight about it, it's easier to just walk away and shake my head. Now, that's not helping anyone (especially the brand new bandsters who are struggling) but sometimes we must self-preserve. Plus, I don't want to make it worse for anyone because I can't drop a subject. That's what I know about it. Megan

I don't think I've digested everything in this thread yet but something popped out at me...I'm having some of the same issues with pouch dialation. I can see it on the monitor when I go in to get a fill (what used to look like a tube now looks like a goose egg) but my doctor isn't worried about it at all and thinks the band is in perfect placement. But now I don't get the sudden "stop" signal I used to get. I can take several bites and then it kind of gradually works up to a stop...but by then I've already eaten a few more bites. Rarely do I PB now...I can usually wait it out. I can eat more in the mornings, and it takes more quantity to get me full. I don't have any reflux except for a little heartburn when I eat things too late at night but I had that before banding. It's weird how things change over time. It's great to hear from some of the veteran bandsters! Keep us posted on what you find out... Megan

You guys are so cute! So...the vet was interesting. He used his scanner to check to see if the dogs had implanted chips but no luck. He did a urinalysis on the boxer and it came back with blood in it, so he took an Xray to see if he had kidney stones. That was negative so $155 later, we left with antibiotics for the boxer and a clean bill of health for the lab/mix. They are such good dogs,andthe vet (who also happens to be the area pound) just can't believe someone would dump them, but he knows where I live and it just doesn't make sense. I've checked with all the local agencies agian and no one has heard anything. The vet thinks I should hold on to them for another week and then try to find homes. I'm afraid after another week I will fall more in love with them and not be able to give them up! I named the boxer tonight...Rocky is his name, after the only boxer I know of. I haven't named the girl yet but we had a talk and she's thinking of a new name for herself and I just have to figure it out. I also learned today that Rocky is a total guy magnet. Men love him and want to pet him so I'm thinking that maybe he's my new dating tool. Here they are!

I'm a day late and a dollar short but I'm so glad to hear you had such a great day. You're the best and you deserve a beautiful, fun, loving birthday. Megan

This is why I love this board so much. There are such sweet people here! It feesl funny to hear people say things like "you're so caring to take them in" because it's just such a part of me to love and take care of animals. *I'm* the lucky one that they choose me to help them. I have kept them inside (they are sleeping on the couch right now) so they are in good shape. I didn't find any frostbite so hopefully I got them in before that happened. The boxer seems to have a hard time peeing so off to the vet we go this morning. A guy at work wants to adopt the boxer so I'm thinking that we will give that a trial run this week sometime. I hate to split them up but he's a lot more high strung than the other dogs so it might be good for him to have a home where the guy can stop in at lunch and let him out and play with him a little. I haven't named them yet. Once I name 'em, their mine so I'm trying to hold off. They pretty much answer to "buddy" at the moment. :-) I'll attach a couple of photos after I upload from my camera. Thanks for all the kind words and offers of donations. I'll see how the vet goes today....I may just have to take you guys up on it! Megan

I've resisted posting on this thread for as long as I can. I'm not sure how the intial post can help anyone feel anything other than weak or bad or fill-in-the-blank with a negative word if you don't resist temptation. Why is food temptation? It's just food for pete's sake. That's all it is. It's not good or bad or happy or sad. It's food. You are not a good person or a weak person based on what you eat. I will agree that creating new habits is extremly important on the banding journey. For you that may include keeping food out of your house that you don't want to eat or that isn't going to get you what you really want. But for some people, if they don't have it in their house it calls their name more strongly. Kinda like the guy who hasn't smoked in twenty years but keeps a pack in his nightstand. It takes different things for different people to make it through the day. Dawg, it's really easy in the beginning to throw around proclamations. Be careful that you aren't setting *yourself* up for failure with all the "don'ts" and "can'ts". Megan

You just need a fill, that's all. Your opening is too big and the food slips right through. No big deal. Call your doctor and get a fill and then you'll understand what I'm talking about better. :-) Megan

Restriction is the key, my dear. With it, you can put down that bowl of rice-a-roni...or throw it down as you run to the bathroom to PB it right back up. I know what you are saying and there are times I long for the days when I could numb myself with huge quantities of carb rich food. Sometimes I still try...I've made rice-a-roni thinking..."I can eat it if I just go slow" but then WHAM. Nope. But I'm ok. And you will be too. Like Vines so wisely said- you'll be able to walk up stair and cross your legs. It sounds very foreign, I know...and you can only know when you know. I think I'm too sleepy and am not making sense. It's great that you are thinking about these things now...it will help you later. Megan

How funny that a thread can get pages and pages long even though no one knows exactly why it got started...the topic of sex sure is sizzling :-). By the way, I still want some. Megan

Wow, did I have an interesting experience. I went to my Dr.'s information session last week. In the waiting room (the session was supposed to start at 1:30, it actually got started at about 3) I met two women. Let's call one Kay and the other Nancy. Kay is 18 and had the band 4 months ago. SHe has lost 24 pounds in 4 months. She now is wanting the doctor to take out the band and give her an RNY. She has a ton of medical problems and seems to be a real mess emotionally. I talked with her for about half an hour and all I kept hearing from her were excuses as to why her band hasn't worked. She blamed everything from her health (which I'm sure is a real battle) to her mom's cooking. She has been throwing up "everything" and says that the doctor tells her she must eat slower and chew more (he also said that she must be eating something because she's not dehydrated or loosing weight rapidly). Kay blamed her troubles on everyone else. She took no responsibility for her situation or her choices. After Kay went into her appointment, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was hard work talking to her. I felt like she was so down on the band that I was beginning to wonder if she was right. Then I met Nancy. Nancy had a brightness to her face. I wanted to talk to her. We chatted for a bit and she has had the band about 4 months too. She's thrilled with it and said it's the best thing ever. She said that the day she decided to have the surgury she decided that she was going to think of the whole experience as being "great". It is a miracle procedure and so she's going to act like it's one. She was so excited and enthusiastic. Guess how much weight she's lost...35 pounds! After talking to these two very different women, I decided to take the same attitude as Nancy. This journey is going to be great. It maybe hard once and awhile, but it will still be great. I also decided that I'm going to make sure to get rid of any negative person in my life. I also am going to work really hard at seeing the positive things myself. Megan

((((Donali)))) I learn something from you with every post. Love, Megan

I think sometimes people fight hardest against what they fear the most is in them, too. I have found that compassion is my most important weapon with the band. Compassion for me and my struggle to overcome and manage my illness (obesity) and the struggle that others face every day. Photonut, I want to comment on one thing that you said...I can never figure out how to directly quote someone so sorry if I get this wrong...you said that you don't have time to pamper yourself anymore. I'm going to take a leap here and guess that you never pampered yourself about being overweight. You probably were like many of us here who beat ourselves up over every trip to McDonalds, Applebees, our own kitchen table. Pampering is not the same as indulgance, to me anyway. Pampering is what I do now to myself...I am kind in my thoughts and actions about myself. My tapes no longer call myself a fat slob, a weak disgusting pig, a loser with a pretty face. I no longer say I will never amount to anything...that I am a bad person because I ate something "bad". No food is off limits because food isn't the problem. I have made a whole big frozen pizza and had two peices and gave the rest to my dogs. Big deal. Normal weight people eat pizza. And cheeseburgers. And french fries. These foods are not the issue. It's our attitudes about them. Be kind to yourself. Pay attention to the things that you tell yourself in your mind. This is where you could put your anger and frustration energy. The demons are not food. They are within us and must be fought from within. But now you have a tool inside of you made of plastic that, filled to the right level, can be your greatest weapon. Megan

Photonut...You are asking very good questions. Some are hard to answer. When I first got banded, I made great choices all the time. I changed everything about my life. I only ate organic fruits, veggies, and meats. I felt better than I have ever before. I'm now two and a half years out...and old habits creep back in slowly over time. And there are many reasons why people eat and over eat. For me, it's almost an obsession to finish what I am eating. I usually save "the best bite" for last. Sometimes I forget that I have the band and do something stupid like order Pasta. The band has become a PART of my life, not the whole focus of it. And once that happens, it's easy to loose momentum about good choices, etc. You're very new to banding and It's folks like you that keep me motivated and on the right track. What I have learned is that it's not about NEVER eating pizza, bread, treats, chocolate, cake, etc....it's about not eating it as much. It's about balance and planning. But mostly, it's about forgiveness. Forgive yourself for getting to where you are, and forgive yourself when you don't make the best choices. Promise to make a better one next time. That's all we can do. And if you stuff a whole pizza into your band...the next call you make is to your Doctor to get a fill. And then forgive yourself for eating a pizza. The band is forgiving. You'll do better when you have more fill and the demons are controlled better. No big deal. Megan

I'm thinking of you and your family and hoping for the best...

Right on BigPaul!

I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. Penni, please know that what I said on the other thread was not aimed at anyone in particular but more the whole...and I meant it for the greater good. I know how angry and hurt you've been by your situation and I would never begin to say that I can truly understand because my band is fine and healthy (as far as I know, of course!). You are part of my band family and I hope you know that I care deeply for you. You have seen me through some very tough times and I hope you know that I'm on your side. Love, Megan

Hey Pianoman...how are you? Looks like you're doing well! Megan

This is absolutely rediculous. We are never going to have any health care providers come onto this board and help us out if we continue to behave this way. Sure, you don't have to agree with what they say...or how they say it. But we are cutting off our noses to spite our faces, if you ask me. Instead of attacking, why not ask questions? I have met almost every person that has eroded so far in person- and I love you all like sisters. I have cried for each and every one of you. I have mourned the loss of your dreams and your band. I still think of all of you every day and every time I PB. This forum needs you. I need you. But please stop attacking the two doctors who have tried to help us understand just because you don't agree with them. Take if off LBT. Megan

Funny how a band around the stomach changes the body's reaction to some foods. Egg salad now leaves me doubled over in pain from gas. What the heck! Megan

I might be able to help...I'm in the FDA trial. What would you like to know?

Babs...great to hear from you. I can't wait to see the article and photos. How fun! Megan