MeganA

You are lethalwoman!!!! Congrats on a hard earned and much deserved NSV!

Marcelle- What a fantastic post. What I see in it is tremendous growth and a determination to leave your past behind. The hard part is that for awhile we're stuck smack dab inbetween the past and our new future...we can see it, but we just can't reach it quite yet. Momentum builds- small changes grow and blossom into bigger ones. Most of which you can't anticipate. Often times weightloss surgery is the first choice we make for ourselves in a long, long time. We've spent our lives trying to make everyone else happy and to be loved and accepted because we aren't happy and we don't love or accept our own self. I believe that in order to choose WLS, it takes an acceptance of ourselves, and it releases us from the emotional binds of the heavy burden of obesity. We say "I can't do it alone". "I need help". "I deserve help". What I'm trying to say is that you are on the right track- and it's YOUR track. You get to make the decisions about how you will be treated by your husband, your cousin, and other family and friends. As you stand up to them and yourself, this momentum will build and you will grow stronger and stronger. You don't need to move to FL to make changes. You can make them right now, in this moment. And mark my words...once you start, you will do things that will amaze yourself. Megan

Then: Breakfast: Nothing, or two bowls of Cereal Lunch: 2 tacos and a nacho from Taco Bell, with a medium Dt. Coke Snack: bag of chips Snack: sundae from McDonalds Dinner: 1/2 box of Lasagna Hamberger Helper Snack: huge bowl of ice cream Snack: bowl of cereal Snack: chips and dip Now: Breakfast: bowl of high Protein, high Fiber oatmeal Snack: piece of string cheese Lunch: 1/2 a chicken breast with 1/2 small salad Snack: Yogurt Dinner: 6 shrimp, a few bites of Pasta, 1/2 small salad Snack: rarely have one, but maybe a cookie or just a glass of milk Hope this helps! Megan

I am at work and read through this post really fast and I have PMS and am easily ticked off... so bare with me if I make an a** out of myself. One thing I have learned is to listen to people I trust that are in the field. When I started investigating plastic surgeons, I asked my very trusted lap band surgeon who HE recommended because he knows a hell of a lot more about it than any friend, husband, etc. LISTEN TO YOUR FRIEND. Do not be in such a hurry that you have surgery with an innexperienced surgeon just because you can't wait. All the follow up in the world won't help if your band isn't properly placed in the beginning. My guess is that if you talk to the surgeon's office that your friend suggested he may have relationships with follow up care offices in your area. As for your husband saying he won't give you the money to have the surgery if you don't go to a different doctor- why the hell is he in charge of what you do with your body? Man, he is in for a rude awakening when you get the band, lose weight, gain some self esteem and kick his condescending, controlling butt to the curb. This your body. Your life. Your band future. Megan

I had to get a new DL when I moved a year ago. Since I was up for renewal this year, the lady said that she wouldn't take a new photo. I've had bouncers and waitresses say that it isn't really my license! Luckily they've all believed that it really is me after a little explaination... I can't wait to get a new photo! How fun! Megan

Thanks everyone for your condolences. It was a tough week last week and I'm sure glad it's over. Megan

Hi everyone. I have some sad news to report about one of the dogs that got left at my house. The big lab/retreiver mix dog (her name was LuLu) stopped eating a few days after she arrived. I tried switching her to soft food, tried people food, and everything else I could think of. I took her to the vet who put her on some antibiotics but couldn't find the source of her troubles. I could tell that she felt terrible and I tried to make her as comfortable as possible. After a little less than a week, she wasn't better. Then my Grandma died and I had to attend the wake and funeral in another town so I boarded her with the vet He was going to take some Xrays. I talked to him the next day and she was still doing poorly and he couldn't see anything on the Xray. There were two choices- one was to do explorative surgery and the other was to put her down. The vet thought that even if we did surgery, what we would find would most likely not be curable. So, I made the tough choice to put her down. The vet did an autopsy and found that she had pancriatic cancer. He said she was very sick and we did the best thing for her. For me, this was welcome news because I kept going over and over in my head if there was anything else that could have happened or could have been done. I still have the Boxer (I named him Rocky) and he and I had a nice talk about LuLu and how she had to go to heaven to be with my Grandma because she needed a dog with her there. I kept the blanket that LuLu slept on and Rocky sleeps on it every night. I guess in a way I feel she was sent to me so that I could help put her out of her misery. Thanks to everyone for their kind thoughts about LuLu. She was the sweetest dog I have ever met and I miss her even though she was only in my life a very short time. Megan

It's very frustrating and sad when our expectations aren't realized. I have a very simple solution, however. GET A FILL! I had four fills before I felt anything, and five before I lost any weight. Then, with every fill after, I've lost ten pounds. Eight fills = 80 pounds. You are not a failure. You just need a fill. The band doesn't work without the proper fill level. Don't be embarrassed to talk to your doctor. He wouldn't have placed your band if he didn't want you to succeed!!! Megan

Mental health is a very individual thing. I only know my story, so let me share a bit of it. After I had my lapband placed, I went through a big, deep, sad, dark depression. I felt like my life wasn't my own- that I'd been making choices not because of what *I* wanted but because they were what others wanted- and therefore safe. I felt like life was meaningless with out my drug of choice- food- to get me through. I didn't understand what I was feeling. It felt like things hurt me more than they did before. I remember thinking one time that it felt like I had fresh new skin, and that everything that came near it made it sting. Of course, my fresh new skin was an emotional one, not a physical one. Slowly, with the help of my counselor, a little ray of light started to show in my world. I got angry. I got angry at my friends and family and myself. But depression, I learned, is Anger Turned Inward...and I soon learned that it was ok to be angry and to demand that the world treat me better. Soon I was treating me better, as well. On my journey through depression, I had to learn to listen to the tapes that played in my head about how I felt about myself and my choices. I had to reprogram them and re-record new tapes so that I could heal and move forward. For me, being at overweight was like standing still for years and years. I couldn't move forward or backward. Babysteps and lots of patience with myself created momentum and here I am today, a happy, mentally healthy, stable, self-sufficient adult with goals and dreams and a LIFE! I spent a long time being angry at myself for "letting myself go" not only with my weight but my life. Once I looked that anger in the face and said "NO MORE!" I was free. Megan

Magic... Please head the advice that the other ladies have given. You are at high risk for doing serious damage to you and your band. Megan

Thank goodness. I bet you are so relieved. I sure am for you! You're the best! Megan

This question (and the replys) make me very glad that our unbanded sisters and brothers are still among us. No one who comes to LBT can ever say they didn't hear all sides of banding.

Kelly....I'm so sorry to hear about your slip. You have my support no matter what you choose to do...it's your life and you know how much you are capable of handing at this time. You are in my thoughts... Megan

Superflirt is a GREAT book when you're looking at getting back in the game. It has all sorts of body language stuff and tips. I found it very helpful when I first lost a bunch of weight and was getting hit on but didn't really know it. :-) Now I'm a pro at flirting. I understand the power that women have through sexuality. It is a powerful thing and must be used carefully :-). Megan

Print off the thread Before and After photos and send it to him. Ha!!! Megan

Mags- You rock! Megan

Buy the book "Superflirt". And a new pair of kick ass beautiful shoes. Then stand up straight and smile and think "Damn, I'm hot". And then you will be. It's that simple, really. It's all in the attitude you bring to the table. Megan

I'm sorry that he has treated you like this. It's a vicious cycle...you have low self esteem, allow yourself to be treated badly, and get lower and lower self esteem until you think that this is the last man in the world that will love you and want to see you naked. Bullshit. Self esteem is gained by making different choices. Making different choices creates momentum in your life and takes you in directions that you can't see when you are so low. So take a small step if you aren't able/willing to kick him to the curb just yet. Test him. Make it a small thing...like- "I'll order the pizza and I'm not getting the spicy stuff so what of these two choices would you like?" I like to say that in order to loose ten pounds you only have to lose one pound ten times. It doesn't seem so overwhelming. Same thing with this. Stick up for yourself once and the second and third time will be easier. I promise. Megan Babysteps....

It's been two and a half years since I was banded and last night I found myself doing something I haven't done since. I ate in bed! Before I was banded, I used to cuddle up and eat and eat and eat. It was such a safe haven and made to feel even safer with food. Last night I wanted to watch something on tv but I was tired...so I grabbed THE BAG of chips and dip and headed upstairs to my bedroom. Then I remembered what how it used to feel and I do NOT miss that feeling of isolation and eating in shame. I got out of bed and put the chips away in the cupboard. Even after over two years old habits creep back. But this incident reminded me of how far I have come and how it used to be. I feel sad for the old me. Megan

I had the flu and was throwing up for a couple hours before I could get to the ER and get some anti-nasua meds. It felt like I was going to throw up my band it hurt so badly. I now keep some anti- naseau suppositories ( I know...gross!) with me almost all the time just in case. I was worried about slippage but my surgeon said that the band is really made to withstand vomiting and I was ok. I had a fill scheduled a week or so after and everything was just fine! It hurts like h - e double toothpicks though. Megan

I think sometimes when we are first banded we think that EVERYTHING has to do with the band. But you know what? Bandsters get the flu, and a cold, and weird other things too that have nothing to do with the band. That just means that you should probably go easy on food for a few days- stick to liquids and get some rest and you'll be good as new. If your symptoms get worse or you can no longer drink...then I'd call your doctor. Megan Megan

People's true colors ALWAYS show through. Sometimes I forget that I don't have to jump up and down and point it out. They usually do it themselves before long. Megan

I second that!

Jill and BigPaul...I just had a thought. If people took conversations like the one you two are having with each other into PM's, things would sure be a lot nicer around here. Just my thought. Megan

My fear with a hijacker isn't how it affects me. I'm a big girl and can handle myself. My true fear is what happens to someone who is new and doesn't understand some of these nuances. This place has literally saved my mental health at times...and I don't want anyone jeopardizing that for anyone else. The person(s) that were causing me to get so frustrated has been rather quiet lately so it seems kind of silly that I am still thinking about this. But it’s not often that something gets so under my skin. Megan