MeganA

I forgot to mention a couple of things... Look every man in the eye as you pass by him. At first, just look. If you're uncomfortable, look away. As you become more comfortable, maintain eye contact and smile. You will be amazed at the results- men will smile at you! When I first tried this, I was shy and realized that I have spent 31 years of my life looking at my shoes. It was soooo hard!!!! Now, if I pass a man on the street or in a bar...anywhere really- I ALWAYS look them in the eye and smile. Sure, some guys are dicks and don't meet your eyes, some guys are shy and look down, but man, when you make eye contact with a man and he smiles back- ZING!!!! Instant confidence. The other idea is to flirt. Flirt like crazy. That doesn't mean act like a floozy. It means little things...like gently touching a forearm to get a man's attention, holding a handshake just a second too long, catching a man's eye, then looking down, then back up again really quick...then letting a sweet little shy smile creep across your lips. This might sound really bad, but it's true and it worked for me- but start by flirting with guys you don't find the least bit attractive. That way, it's about perfecting your skills, and not anything else. Once you get more comfortable, you'll find it that much easier to do when you actually see something you like! This works, I swear! I practiced these things in front a mirror for weeks before I actually tried it in public...practice makes perfect! Megan

Something I've noticed since I've been losing weight is that it really is about attitude. I have friends/coworkers who weigh the same as I do and bitch and moan about how fat they are and how nothing looks good...while I revel in my new body every day and feel sexier than I ever have in my whole life. I get hit on all the time, men run to open the door for me, I have more women that want to hang out with me than I ever have. My take on how to feel sexy: Find something about yourself that you think is really sexy...not what you think a man will find sexy, but what YOU find sexy. For me, it's my eyes. I know that I can make a man melt just by how I look at him. Before I walk into a room where I know there will be single men, I take a minute and think about making out with that guy from my past that was SOOO good at it...not the bump and grind stuff, but the passionate kisses and the labored breathing...all of a sudden my face is flush, I'm licking my lips, and feeling very friendly. It's amazing what it does for me. Get some freekin' clothes that fit. Even if it's one pair of pants and one shirt...when you want to feel sexy- wear it! And for Pete's sake girls, get some cute shoes,too! I know it feels weird to buy clothes when you know you're going to lose more weight- but you deserve to look and feel sexy NOW not just when you're a certain number on the scale or size of pants. I'm an open book so if anyone has questions, please ask anything. Megan

I feel your pain. The only way I've figured out how to do this is to concentrate on making really good decisions during the week...that's when I have the most structure and willpower. My weekends are filled with restaurants, friends, booze, boys...I'm sorry, but I'm having way too much fun to feel guilty about any of it. As long as my weeks are clean, my weekends can be dirty :-) Megan

Now that the thread is labeled "Adult Content", you know what you are getting yourself into by clicking on this thread...so if you find adult content offensive (unfortunately you probably need Lisa's party more than anyone!) DON'T READ IT. Geez...censor for yourself, for Pete’s sake. I think a place where FF's (former fatties) and soon to be FF's can discuss sex is so important. There are many of us who have bloomed late in life and may have been too shy/embarrassed/scared to even think about our own sexuality. Now that our bodies are changing, we get bombarded with new challenges and opportunities all the time regarding sex. Bravo for talking about it. As my mom said, "Everyone deserves a good sex life". Megan

I've finally come to grips with the fact that I can't come. It's sad that $250 for a ticket is too much money for me at the moment. Winter is coming and I still am paying off my propane heat bill from last winter, and they won't fill it until I pay off the balance (the bastards!). Lisa- I'm so sorry and I appreciate your offer of hospitality very much. I will miss seeing the familiar faces and meeting new ones. I'll be there next year, mark my words! Megan

I got the nicest message from Delarla today...at first I thought she was a bill collector (what, me?) and then I started crying because she was so sweet and so Lisa at the same time. Her message made me realize that I hadn't checked in to LBT in a long time...I think I've been avoiding you all because I don't think I'm able to make it to the bash and it makes me so sad I just couldn't face it. But today I realized that I may have one more option...I'm not promising anything but I'm going to try my darndest to get there. I need support, and I need to give support....and drink. Can't forget to cocktail. I had my port revision surgery last Friday. That just means that they moved my port to a spot where they think they can access it better. I didn't use any of the Vicoden (anyone want some? Maybe selling it on the black market could fund my Vegas trip...hmmmm) they gave me. They did the surgery under local anesthesia and some sedation that just made me feel drunk. I talked the entire time the surgeons were working on me...and I told the hot doctor that he had such kind eyes. I'm totally embarrassed but they seemed to think I was hilarious. I'm back on the weightloss losing train. I've lost 6 pounds in the last four days- I got a fill at the same time they moved the port. I've needed one for about four months but put it off because of the surgery. It's nice to be losing again, and I'm ready to get to another goal. That's the best thing about the band, if you ask me- when you're ready to get moving again, you get a little fill and you're off to the races. I love the feeling of restriction- of eating just a little bit and really not caring about it. The freedom from head hunger is wonderful. Well, that's my update. Lisa-I'll call you tomorrow...I can't wait to see how you are!Thanks for the call. I hope everyone else is doing well... Megan

Hey everyone. Thanks so much for the kind words. There are many factors to why I might not be able to make it...one, the clutch on my car just went out last week- borrowed money from my dad to get it fixed. Two, I ran out of money right before I got my new job so I'm slowly digging myself out of debt. Three, that weekend is my town's Defeat of Jesse James Days and we always have family that comes in from out of town, and my dad is in the artshow and I always help him get ready and set up. So...I have many things going against me. The only saving grace is that I have an old ticket from American Airlines that I didn't use that is worth some money...but I checked their website and the flights to Vegas are HORRID...as in overnights, or one or two stops. I just don't know. I will decide by Friday. I just can't say enough about all you great ladies on LBT. Man, I've missed you... Lisa- the only thing skinny on me is my face. I now look like I have a pinhead. My ass is slowly catching up to my face. You're way taller than me and look way skinnier. Way! I'll attach the photo here so you can see it big...I still can't believe it's me.

I'm excited for you! Getting back out there is hard, so I'm glad that you feel like you know him already. I'm also glad that he is an FF (former fatty) because you can both be supportive of one another! Have fun!!! Megan

Great thread, Lisa! Since being banded I have: - dirty danced with strange men - grown my hair out, well, I'm on my way anyway - moved out of a bad living situation - painted every wall in the little farmhouse where I live - run. Yes, I can run now but my butt still flaps around...working on that! - gone on as many dates in a weekend as I used to all year - found peace with food. I now understand it is fuel and not just to make me feel better - made some great friends on LBT and in real life - become more understanding of other people who are obese- I no longer compare myself and have to put them down to make me feel better. I am much more compassionate. - wear high heeled shoes - gotten a new job, which I love Megan

I totally agree. I feel that way when I'm with people who are complaining about their weight. I secretly think "thank god I have the band or I'd still be that miserable!" Megan

Wow, I'm late to this thread. I'm a dater...I keep trying them on and they just don't fit...not yet anyway. No one has ever asked about my scar. If they did, I'd say..."I had some surgery that we can talk about later. Don't worry, everything is fine!" I would hate to ruin the moment. I guess you have to do what makes you feel the most comfortable...for me, telling someone about my weightloss surgery is easy because I'm not seeking approval or anything from that person. It's just a simple fact. For others, I know it's tough. But I really don't think you should lie. Relationships are hard enough to get started without lying about something that is actually prety important. Just my opinion. Megan

I want some, I want some!

Teresa, you look fantastic! ANd your dogs are so cute!!! Megan

I'm a huge animal lover and ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to have a horse. Since I grew up smack dab in town I have no clue how to take care of them. I've often thought that I needed to find a friend or someone that I could hang out with to learn about horses. My friend Alice and I were driving around my new neighborhood (I live out in the country as of December) and we came upon a horse ranch about 5 miles from my house. I got so excited that there was one so close! I decided that I needed to see if I could work there- not for money, but for the education. Then I got scared that maybe they wouldn't want me to work there because I weight so much! Duh...I don't weight as much as I used to, I told myself. We didn't stop then, but I promised myself I would soon. Tonight I decided that I needed an ice cream cone so I headed into town. I decided to take the back road and wouldn't you know- the people who own the ranch were outside putting the horses in. I thought- If I wait and think about this I'll never do it! So I pulled right in and asked them to take me on. And you know what- they said yes, they could use the help...and they liked the idea that I've been around horses but don't know how to do anything with them because they can show me the way they do it. I'm so excited I can't stand it. I never would have done this before banding. I never would have had the energy to go clean horse stalls or wash buckets or anything else on a hot summer day. The lady gave me her number and I'm to call her anytime I want to come by and work. She'll show me how to do some things that would really help them out when they are gone to the racetrack or to rodeos. Dreams really do come true when you look fear (for me- rejection) in the eye and ask for what you want. Needless to say, I never got that ice cream cone I was after when I set out tonight. I got somethign waayyyy better. Megan

Babs said--- "I recently read an article in one of the womans magazines that said that daily weighers actually do better when dieting than people who dont. Whaddya think?" I think you hit it on the head- they do better when DIETING. THis isn't a diet, it's the rest of our lives. Weighing every day is diet mentality, if you ask me. Living life and once and awhile hoping on the scale out of curiousity sounds much more healthy to me. It was nice to hear from you, and I'm glad that you're feeling great. Megan

""Megan said, "But I'm restricted enough to PB and to have to really watch myself. It's such a fine line when you get so close to the sweetspot..." I read this sentence 5 times. If you still PB, then a fill isn't your answer. "" I can't figure out how you guys make that nice little quote box... Lisa-- I've been at the sweet spot and when I'm there- I never PB. Know why? Cause I'm not hungry!!!! I don't push it like I do now and have in the past when I'm just a little too loose. I can't describe the feeling of being satisfied with just a few bites and not trying to eat so much because I'm still hungry. My little stomach gets full but my big stomach is still hungry. I always say- being stuck and being full are not the same thing. The only time I PB is when I'm too loose. Does that make any sense to anyone else? Megan

Lisa, thank you thank you thank you. I needed this post. I've been struggling the last few weeks and wasn't sure what I should do. Now I know what I need to do- I need to have an honest conversation with my surgeon. I don't wanna. I want to stay in denial and swear at my band for not working and maybe needing another fill. I was told by my surgeon at my last fill that he needed to move my port so it was easier to access. I was hoping that I wouldn't need another fill again so I didn't have to go through that. Now I am hungry all the time, and over eat because I'm hungry. When I'm properly filled I forget to eat, rarely think about- much less fantasize- about food. But I'm restricted enough to PB and to have to really watch myself. It's such a fine line when you get so close to the sweetspot... I've been struggling with beating myself up, taking my band for granted, drinking with my meals, and snacking. I started my new job two weeks ago and I have gained three pounds a week even though I am trying to bring lunch every day. I have spent the last year and a half avoiding fast food places and all of a sudden they are all I see. Oh my gosh, I just realized I hijacked your post, Lisa. Sorry about that!!! Thank you so much for always telling us the truth about what you are going through. You are so brave to be so honest with your surgeon, and I'm going to try to live up to your example. I'm calling my surgeons office tomorrow and scheduling a consultation and surgery appt. Thanks again, Lisa. You rock. Megan

That makes me so sad. Once you accept that being morbidly obese is a form of eating disorder, I think seeing someone that is that skinny makes me just as sad as seeing someone who weighs 500 pounds and can't leave home. Poor lady. I hope she found help. M

When I first got banded- especially after the "newness" wore off, I was PISSED OFF!!! I was so angry that I needed the band, that I was different than everyone else, that I couldn't eat whatever I wanted, that I couldn't even eat real food for weeks. I spent quite awhile angry, and then I got sad and everything would make me cry. What I discovered is that food was my emotional even-outer, and without it, I was a disaster. I have no idea what is going on in your daughters head, but I applaud that you are here trying to learn about this. She may not appreciate your suggestions and everything you have learned, I"m sorry to say. But that doesn't mean she doesn't need you to help her out. If I would give you any advice, it would be to just give her some time to get used to her new life. Be there for her, continue to learn for you, and she'll get curious and start reaching out herself. Megan

Babs, That stinks. I'm sorry that he didn't at least try to give you a tiny bit...I got .2 cc's last time I was in and it made all the difference in the world. Maybe you could talk him into trying? Megan

So who all are in for fun, frolic, and singing in french, anyway. Besides me. I gots me a new job so I'm gonna be rollin' in the cash o la. I would like to organize an outing one of the evenings to some rockin' bars on the strip. A girl must see and be seen, you know. Who, besides Penni, of course, is with me? Megan

Love the hair! You look fabulous. Megan

Someday, I'm gonna get me an agent and be famous. I can't imagine a better way to turn all the pain I suffered from being fat into some cash-ola. Then I'll pay for Delarla's port. Megan

I was up and moving around two hours after surgery...on pain meds, of course. But the next day I went home and didn't need any pain meds after the first night. I was more uncomfortable than in pain..just couldn't sit right, or lay down right for a week or so..but no big deal. Megan

I convinced my stock club to buy Inameds stock...it's IMDC on the stock exchange, I think. We have made over 30% on our investment, and the company was sold a few months ago so it will have a new ticker symbol when the sale is complete. I'm in the Johnson and Johnson trial for the Swedish band- the trial has another year and a half to go, but I'd snatch that up right about the time the study is done...I think, with their reputation, it's going to do very well. Megan