newlife4nekaylyn

I was told when i was 20 that i would never be able to have a child of my own. I got married at 23 to a man with three children that i have raised as my own. I got lap band to live a health longer life with my husband and our children. The lap band doctor said there is a small possibility that one day it could happen. To be honest i really didnt think it would ever happen and my OB was pretty sure it wouldn't happen there was just to many problems with my body despite the fact that i have lost over 100lbs. It was heart breaking at times but i had finally come to term with the fact that it just wasn't going to happen. My husband and i have been together for five years and we have never really used any form of birth control.
I am almost two years out with my lap band and i was feeling really good about my body again how ever i still had some body issues with loos skin so i had a breast augmentation planed and also a tummy tuck and a few more tucks like arms and legs. I had the doctor planed out and i was ready to go! One night my husband sat me down and said what the hell is wrong with you? I said i dont know i am just getting so sleepy about 12 and its like i just hit a wall and i cant get back up from it. later i went to take a drink of something and just started throwing up, i honestly thought i had just drank to fast and it was a fluke but it kept happening and i thought ok maybe i need to have my band checked. Again my husband sat me down and said maybe you should take a pregnancy test...... I just got pissed at him and said IM NOT PREGNANT. He fought with me for two weeks. One day i went to turn in some stuff at an office and saw the dolor store in walking distance before i knew it i was in the store asking the lady for the dolor pregnancy test i bought three. Went home ready for disappointment but i had something to prove to my husband. i took two of the three test and the control line came up with nothing else something you see when you get a negative test. I was pretty sure my husband would have to say sorry about that after he saw the pic so i snaped it and sent it to him and then looked back at the pic i had just sent. There was a very small pink line. I almost fainted and thought this isnt right and i looked back at the test both of them had two pink lines. i almost died right there in my kitchen.
Any ways right now i am 15 weeks pregnant and i have only gained a pound which concerned my OBGYN. I think that i have gained a lot but every time i step on the scale nothing. i have to go and see a specialist because my OB is worried about my weight, should i eat more? I cant always eat more. Im a little worried i dont want any thing to happen because this is such a blessing to me and my family. any one else have this issue???

One year and a day I went to have my lap band surgery, I remember being scared and not really know what my future was going to be like. Before i got started my heaviest was 301lbs. I still dont think that i have ever said that out load but there it is. The day of surgery i weighted a good 295lbs, i wore a pant size of 20 shirts where XXXL, bra 44C, underwear 18s, Sweat pants XXL, and wedding ring was a 10 1/2. Today with all my ups and downs i weigh a 185lbs, pants size 11 to 10, shirts Large, bra 38 B, underwear M, sweat pants M wedding ring i finally got sized 8. So was it worth it? HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!! For once i am proud of myself and i might now look skinny as some but to me i am beautiful.
I have to admit there are things that i thought i wouldn't ever get to do again like eat at out, eat food that was yummy, drink a soda every now and then, have a drink with friends, things like that but it turns out i can. I am not limited i just know what i can and cant do and what i should and shouldn't do i know that everything has a consequence and i also know that i am fine with that. I love my band and if it wasn't for me asking for the help i would still be where i was before. Afraid of life not really living life because i let my weight hold me back. Now nothing can hold me back! Thanks lap band for getting me this far and thanks to my family, friends, doctors, and everyone else who has been there this year, without all of them i wouldn't be where i am today!

One year and a day I went to have my lap band surgery, I remember being scared and not really know what my future was going to be like. Before i got started my heaviest was 301lbs. I still dont think that i have ever said that out load but there it is. The day of surgery i weighted a good 295lbs, i wore a pant size of 20 shirts where XXXL, bra 44C, underwear 18s, Sweat pants XXL, and wedding ring was a 10 1/2. Today with all my ups and downs i weigh a 185lbs, pants size 11 to 10, shirts Large, bra 38 B, underwear M, sweat pants M wedding ring i finally got sized 8. So was it worth it? HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!! For once i am proud of myself and i might now look skinny as some but to me i am beautiful.
I have to admit there are things that i thought i wouldn't ever get to do again like eat at out, eat food that was yummy, drink a soda every now and then, have a drink with friends, things like that but it turns out i can. I am not limited i just know what i can and cant do and what i should and shouldn't do i know that everything has a consequence and i also know that i am fine with that. I love my band and if it wasn't for me asking for the help i would still be where i was before. Afraid of life not really living life because i let my weight hold me back. Now nothing can hold me back! Thanks lap band for getting me this far and thanks to my family, friends, doctors, and everyone else who has been there this year, without all of them i wouldn't be where i am today!

One year and a day I went to have my lap band surgery, I remember being scared and not really know what my future was going to be like. Before i got started my heaviest was 301lbs. I still dont think that i have ever said that out load but there it is. The day of surgery i weighted a good 295lbs, i wore a pant size of 20 shirts where XXXL, bra 44C, underwear 18s, Sweat pants XXL, and wedding ring was a 10 1/2. Today with all my ups and downs i weigh a 185lbs, pants size 11 to 10, shirts Large, bra 38 B, underwear M, sweat pants M wedding ring i finally got sized 8. So was it worth it? HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!! For once i am proud of myself and i might now look skinny as some but to me i am beautiful.
I have to admit there are things that i thought i wouldn't ever get to do again like eat at out, eat food that was yummy, drink a soda every now and then, have a drink with friends, things like that but it turns out i can. I am not limited i just know what i can and cant do and what i should and shouldn't do i know that everything has a consequence and i also know that i am fine with that. I love my band and if it wasn't for me asking for the help i would still be where i was before. Afraid of life not really living life because i let my weight hold me back. Now nothing can hold me back! Thanks lap band for getting me this far and thanks to my family, friends, doctors, and everyone else who has been there this year, without all of them i wouldn't be where i am today!

One year ago today i made a choice that has changed my life. One year ago today i said ok to having lap band surgery. Not knowing what was going to happen to me later on but scared and excited all at the same time. I didn't have my surgery until September but today is the day i said ok to changing my life forever. This time last year i was well on my way to three hundred pulse and my feet, knees, legs, back, everything hurt. I huffed and puffed everywhere i sweat doing the smallest things and i wasn't sleeping well and i couldn't figure out why. And exercise was a very dirty word for me. I didn't wear a swim suit all summer or even for the past seven years of my life. I couldn't wear the girly clothes because they just don't have pulse sizes everywhere you go. I was limited on things that i could and would do.
I was unhealthy and unhappy and most of all i wasn't a fun person. On the inside i wanted to be someone who could do everything that i wanted but on the outside i knew that i wasn't. After hearing about lap band i knew that i wanted to do it and i knew that i was going to. So one year ago today is when i found my dr the next day i made the appointment and today here i am a little wiser and allot healthier. Im still not where i want to be but im so far from where i was. I have worn a swim suit and i have shopped at ever store in the mall and i don't have to wear a size XXX L and my pants are not a size 20 and my bras are not a size 44 D and my underwear are no longer a size 18, and i don't have a ring size of 11 on my ring finger. Today as of right now i wear a shirt size of Large a pants size of 13 juniors underwear size med and a bra size 38 B and my ring finger size is 8.
Granted i have been through hell and i have been in bandster hell and i made it! I have had problems and i have still made it to here healthy, happy, and for the first time in a long time excited about life. When i am ask knowing everything that i know now would i still have done it my answer is always the same YES. Knowing everything that i know I still would have done it. Do i ever get scared when i feel like something is going wrong YES but i seem to always make it through the hard times and come back and looking back i would do it again every time.
If you are sitting here today wondering if you should have lap band because of all the stories you have read and all the horrible things people have told you, im here to tell you that its all up to you. If you want to go for a healthier life then look at all your options and find the one that works for you but don't ever let anyone tell you that you cant do it. You have to do this for you not for anyone else! I love to exercises now and i go to the gym every day that its opened i am going back to school i have a full time job and i am married with three kids. Before lap band half of the things i do now where not possible but with the new me anything is possible. Don't ever get down on you because you can change and you can make your life what you want it to be! When you start don't let yourself stop and take the time to reward yourself. Make the change for you not for anyone else. OH and one more thing I got to meet Jessie James last weekend and i had the courage to ask him to take a pic with me something that i could have never done before lap band!!!!!!

One year ago today i made a choice that has changed my life. One year ago today i said ok to having lap band surgery. Not knowing what was going to happen to me later on but scared and excited all at the same time. I didn't have my surgery until September but today is the day i said ok to changing my life forever. This time last year i was well on my way to three hundred pulse and my feet, knees, legs, back, everything hurt. I huffed and puffed everywhere i sweat doing the smallest things and i wasn't sleeping well and i couldn't figure out why. And exercise was a very dirty word for me. I didn't wear a swim suit all summer or even for the past seven years of my life. I couldn't wear the girly clothes because they just don't have pulse sizes everywhere you go. I was limited on things that i could and would do.
I was unhealthy and unhappy and most of all i wasn't a fun person. On the inside i wanted to be someone who could do everything that i wanted but on the outside i knew that i wasn't. After hearing about lap band i knew that i wanted to do it and i knew that i was going to. So one year ago today is when i found my dr the next day i made the appointment and today here i am a little wiser and allot healthier. Im still not where i want to be but im so far from where i was. I have worn a swim suit and i have shopped at ever store in the mall and i don't have to wear a size XXX L and my pants are not a size 20 and my bras are not a size 44 D and my underwear are no longer a size 18, and i don't have a ring size of 11 on my ring finger. Today as of right now i wear a shirt size of Large a pants size of 13 juniors underwear size med and a bra size 38 B and my ring finger size is 8.
Granted i have been through hell and i have been in bandster hell and i made it! I have had problems and i have still made it to here healthy, happy, and for the first time in a long time excited about life. When i am ask knowing everything that i know now would i still have done it my answer is always the same YES. Knowing everything that i know I still would have done it. Do i ever get scared when i feel like something is going wrong YES but i seem to always make it through the hard times and come back and looking back i would do it again every time.
If you are sitting here today wondering if you should have lap band because of all the stories you have read and all the horrible things people have told you, im here to tell you that its all up to you. If you want to go for a healthier life then look at all your options and find the one that works for you but don't ever let anyone tell you that you cant do it. You have to do this for you not for anyone else! I love to exercises now and i go to the gym every day that its opened i am going back to school i have a full time job and i am married with three kids. Before lap band half of the things i do now where not possible but with the new me anything is possible. Don't ever get down on you because you can change and you can make your life what you want it to be! When you start don't let yourself stop and take the time to reward yourself. Make the change for you not for anyone else. OH and one more thing I got to meet Jessie James last weekend and i had the courage to ask him to take a pic with me something that i could have never done before lap band!!!!!!

Ok so here it is summer and here i am with three kids who LOVE swimming just as much as me. Which was always fine as long as it was our own pool but about two years ago my kids learned about hurricane harbor and all the water fun that has to offer. All that i could see was me being the over weight mom wishing that i wasn't. I love to make my kids smile and i knew that i would be the only one uncomfortable with myself because i was over weight. I mean i never ever bought myself a swim suit because well let face it i knew i was big and big isn't always pretty in swim wear. So when i started my lap band journey i had many goals and one of the goals was to get myself to where i looked good enough to wear a swim suit in June. I have push myself and pushed my self. And back in march i bought a swim suit and i wore it at a hotel in and indoor pool and i thought to myself this wasn't bad i wasn't made fun of and this swim suit really hid all the loose skin areas. So last week i bought my whole family season passes to hurricane harbor. It was the first time that i went since i was about 17 and had an adorable body. But now here i am branded looking of some sort of redemption as far as all the excuses i had given my husband in the past about why i didn't want to go to the BIG water park. In my husbands eyes i have looked beautiful at every point but my kids are a little harder to sell on the idea. But we went yesterday and i wore my swim suit in front of the thousands of people and no bad looks no mean name calling nothing. And what made the day even better was that my son wanted to ride all the rides with me he asked me to go ride rides with him. And he said mom your pretty. He is nine and i have said this before but just to be clear i haven't had any children of my own i have three step children that i adopted. But my son is the one that i have really raised because he was so small when we met each other He acts just like me and everyone thinks that he is really mine but any ways. He told me that i was pretty and that made the day that much better! Thanks to my lap band i can go to water parks and i can feel like everyone else at them and as long as my kids are happy im pretty sure i can do anything!

This weekend although nothing really special, it was nice quite and really all i did was stay at home and work on house projects. My husband and i refinished an old desk, and that got me to thinking. When we started our project this desk was his mothers and probably her mothers before that. Any ways this desk was in pretty bad shape. One of the drawers was completely broken, The broads that held a mirror a long time missing was broken off and useless, it was dusty, dirty, and it had marker on it and it just looked like it had been through hell and back. My husband asked me should we fix it or trash it? I said well i need a computer desk lets redo it. And Saturday it started, we broke out the wood glue, nails, sander, and wood stain. And yesterday while i was at the store i came home to my new computer desk sitting in my little study area of our little house. It looks so new, but it still looks like its been here a while.
Maybe it was the desk that made me think or maybe it was just a really hard week last week but im kinda like the desk. I was beaten up and hurting and in need of a repair. And now im well on my way to being new and restored but at the same time i still have all the marks from the old me. Well i wouldn't really say marks, scares, scratches. Bottom line is im still me I have just changed the me that i was into the me that i am I don't really think any different i just have the ability to do things that i didn't think that i could do before. I dont know maybe i am different but i cant say that i am unhappy about my changes. Im not im pretty happy about it and some people around me will either learn to like the new me or not. Which ever well i guess ill just have to wait and see right. OK well i said what i started out to say and now im going to deal with life so i hope everyone has a wonderful day.

Well im on my month seven of lap band. I have to say that so far i have had my bad times my good times and my blah times. Mainly the times that have been bad have really been my own fault. Like when i don't go to the bathroom for four days and i get built up gas all in my stomach well that's my fault and i have learned that i have to keep up with things like that. Well that is what i am going through this week and let me tell you it hurts and its not fun and i couldn't even go to work today because i couldn't get off the toilet. Now i know lots will not understand this but not all laxatives are the same. And never before lap band have i had to take any kind of a laxative. But with the band comes new things lol. So i took one Monday and nothing so yesterday i took a new one and holly cow! Never again will i listen when the bottle says you can take three at a time! But on the bright side and yes there is always a bright side today i want to eat again where as for the past four day i haven't really wanted to eat anything in fact i know this is bad but the only things that i have really eaten in the last four days has been about four crackers a day. That's what happens when you don't go to the bathroom.
But enough about that, This is what i would really like to talk about today and yes im sure it may piss off some but really i don't care, someone needs to say it right? This is what i hear the most and some how it really hits a nerve with me. Its when people say well so and so had it done and they lost a few pounds but they weight more now. OR i read this ALLOT " im sick of lap band i don't weight any less and i hate it im getting the sleeve." OK no normally i would feel sorry of the person but when i start asking questions like well how many times did you have it filled? And they say oh well just once or twice then i stopped going, it kinda makes me what to say well then its your own damn fault and maybe you should have spent the money some place else. And i understand that the sleeve seems to work for lots of people don't get me wrong there but again you have to work with that just like you do with the band!!!!! I know that getting stuck isn't the funnest part of the band and in fact it SUCKS but if you eat what you know that you can and you do what your supposed to do then i don't see the problem! As far as restriction go well i have it but then again i have been fill every month since i had this done minus two because i didn't need it. Its like i told my friend that just had this done last month, Its not easy and at times it sucks but when you start to look awesome and people start to tell you how good you look you want to keep going even though sometimes it sucks. I told her that you have to get your fills and that you have to still watch how much your eating because at times your head can lie to you when your stomach is saying stop and I told her my all time very Favorite line " The band doesn't fail people, people fail the band" which means you would with the band you do what your supposed to and you will loose the weight! I mean really if so many people fail with the band then why is there still so many that get it done. Here is another thing, you have to have a want to. You have to want to loose the weight because if not your just spinning your wheels. I have herd to many people so well i have had the band for three months and i haven't lost that much well it didn't take you three months to gain it all so why would it take only three months to loose it all?????????
I have been told that at times i can be harsh and yes i know very well that i can but really don't keep complaining about something when your not willing to work for what you want! i can walk up to 15 miles now could i do that the first day UH NO i could barely do one and i didn't get up to that until about my third month after surgery but i am out there everyday. When i first got on the bike i could barley do a 10 min incline run now i am up to 45 mins and you know what i can do it and i can keep going because i have to want to! I have 20 more pounds to go until i can say that i am the same weight as i was in high school i was 175 and no i wasn't fat. but any ways all im say is that your cant complain about the band unless you have worked every where possible with the band to loose the weight.
Hate it or not that's how i feel! TO everyone working hard to get to your goals keep it up and there is a light at the end of the tunnel for everyone!

Well im on my month seven of lap band. I have to say that so far i have had my bad times my good times and my blah times. Mainly the times that have been bad have really been my own fault. Like when i don't go to the bathroom for four days and i get built up gas all in my stomach well that's my fault and i have learned that i have to keep up with things like that. Well that is what i am going through this week and let me tell you it hurts and its not fun and i couldn't even go to work today because i couldn't get off the toilet. Now i know lots will not understand this but not all laxatives are the same. And never before lap band have i had to take any kind of a laxative. But with the band comes new things lol. So i took one Monday and nothing so yesterday i took a new one and holly cow! Never again will i listen when the bottle says you can take three at a time! But on the bright side and yes there is always a bright side today i want to eat again where as for the past four day i haven't really wanted to eat anything in fact i know this is bad but the only things that i have really eaten in the last four days has been about four crackers a day. That's what happens when you don't go to the bathroom.
But enough about that, This is what i would really like to talk about today and yes im sure it may piss off some but really i don't care, someone needs to say it right? This is what i hear the most and some how it really hits a nerve with me. Its when people say well so and so had it done and they lost a few pounds but they weight more now. OR i read this ALLOT " im sick of lap band i don't weight any less and i hate it im getting the sleeve." OK no normally i would feel sorry of the person but when i start asking questions like well how many times did you have it filled? And they say oh well just once or twice then i stopped going, it kinda makes me what to say well then its your own damn fault and maybe you should have spent the money some place else. And i understand that the sleeve seems to work for lots of people don't get me wrong there but again you have to work with that just like you do with the band!!!!! I know that getting stuck isn't the funnest part of the band and in fact it SUCKS but if you eat what you know that you can and you do what your supposed to do then i don't see the problem! As far as restriction go well i have it but then again i have been fill every month since i had this done minus two because i didn't need it. Its like i told my friend that just had this done last month, Its not easy and at times it sucks but when you start to look awesome and people start to tell you how good you look you want to keep going even though sometimes it sucks. I told her that you have to get your fills and that you have to still watch how much your eating because at times your head can lie to you when your stomach is saying stop and I told her my all time very Favorite line " The band doesn't fail people, people fail the band" which means you would with the band you do what your supposed to and you will loose the weight! I mean really if so many people fail with the band then why is there still so many that get it done. Here is another thing, you have to have a want to. You have to want to loose the weight because if not your just spinning your wheels. I have herd to many people so well i have had the band for three months and i haven't lost that much well it didn't take you three months to gain it all so why would it take only three months to loose it all?????????
I have been told that at times i can be harsh and yes i know very well that i can but really don't keep complaining about something when your not willing to work for what you want! i can walk up to 15 miles now could i do that the first day UH NO i could barely do one and i didn't get up to that until about my third month after surgery but i am out there everyday. When i first got on the bike i could barley do a 10 min incline run now i am up to 45 mins and you know what i can do it and i can keep going because i have to want to! I have 20 more pounds to go until i can say that i am the same weight as i was in high school i was 175 and no i wasn't fat. but any ways all im say is that your cant complain about the band unless you have worked every where possible with the band to loose the weight.
Hate it or not that's how i feel! TO everyone working hard to get to your goals keep it up and there is a light at the end of the tunnel for everyone!

Well im on my month seven of lap band. I have to say that so far i have had my bad times my good times and my blah times. Mainly the times that have been bad have really been my own fault. Like when i don't go to the bathroom for four days and i get built up gas all in my stomach well that's my fault and i have learned that i have to keep up with things like that. Well that is what i am going through this week and let me tell you it hurts and its not fun and i couldn't even go to work today because i couldn't get off the toilet. Now i know lots will not understand this but not all laxatives are the same. And never before lap band have i had to take any kind of a laxative. But with the band comes new things lol. So i took one Monday and nothing so yesterday i took a new one and holly cow! Never again will i listen when the bottle says you can take three at a time! But on the bright side and yes there is always a bright side today i want to eat again where as for the past four day i haven't really wanted to eat anything in fact i know this is bad but the only things that i have really eaten in the last four days has been about four crackers a day. That's what happens when you don't go to the bathroom.
But enough about that, This is what i would really like to talk about today and yes im sure it may piss off some but really i don't care, someone needs to say it right? This is what i hear the most and some how it really hits a nerve with me. Its when people say well so and so had it done and they lost a few pounds but they weight more now. OR i read this ALLOT " im sick of lap band i don't weight any less and i hate it im getting the sleeve." OK no normally i would feel sorry of the person but when i start asking questions like well how many times did you have it filled? And they say oh well just once or twice then i stopped going, it kinda makes me what to say well then its your own damn fault and maybe you should have spent the money some place else. And i understand that the sleeve seems to work for lots of people don't get me wrong there but again you have to work with that just like you do with the band!!!!! I know that getting stuck isn't the funnest part of the band and in fact it SUCKS but if you eat what you know that you can and you do what your supposed to do then i don't see the problem! As far as restriction go well i have it but then again i have been fill every month since i had this done minus two because i didn't need it. Its like i told my friend that just had this done last month, Its not easy and at times it sucks but when you start to look awesome and people start to tell you how good you look you want to keep going even though sometimes it sucks. I told her that you have to get your fills and that you have to still watch how much your eating because at times your head can lie to you when your stomach is saying stop and I told her my all time very Favorite line " The band doesn't fail people, people fail the band" which means you would with the band you do what your supposed to and you will loose the weight! I mean really if so many people fail with the band then why is there still so many that get it done. Here is another thing, you have to have a want to. You have to want to loose the weight because if not your just spinning your wheels. I have herd to many people so well i have had the band for three months and i haven't lost that much well it didn't take you three months to gain it all so why would it take only three months to loose it all?????????
I have been told that at times i can be harsh and yes i know very well that i can but really don't keep complaining about something when your not willing to work for what you want! i can walk up to 15 miles now could i do that the first day UH NO i could barely do one and i didn't get up to that until about my third month after surgery but i am out there everyday. When i first got on the bike i could barley do a 10 min incline run now i am up to 45 mins and you know what i can do it and i can keep going because i have to want to! I have 20 more pounds to go until i can say that i am the same weight as i was in high school i was 175 and no i wasn't fat. but any ways all im say is that your cant complain about the band unless you have worked every where possible with the band to loose the weight.
Hate it or not that's how i feel! TO everyone working hard to get to your goals keep it up and there is a light at the end of the tunnel for everyone!

Well yesterday out of pure want to i tried on my wedding dress from 2009. I put on the slip that wouldn't stay up with out a fight, i put the suckeriner bra thing on that i didn't need extenders for any more and i gracefully stepped into my wedding dress that was about six sizes too big. As i thought back to my wedding day i thought about before the wedding the scared feelings that excitement then i remembered thinking what am i going to look like in the pics? I thought omg call off the wedding im a cow. But i said oh well im not going to change in one day so lets get this over with. Needless to say i hated all the pics of my wedding that had me in them.
And now here i am about three years later in the same dress thinking damn i wish i would have been this skinny the day of my wedding. And that makes me think should i sell this dress and buy a new one with the money i get from the old one and do it again lol or maybe just take all the pictures again. But here is the thing that was me. And my husband married me for me not for what i looked like but me. Im still the same person there is just less of me. And my husband seems to love me just as much as he did the day we said "I DO" so sitting in that dress made me realize that i was happy about the wedding and the wedding pics after all. So i pulled the dress off and i hung it up and that is where it is going to stay if for nothing else but a reminder that even fat i was still beautiful to someone.
Its so easy to think that once you are looking cute that you were just ugly before and that everyone saw your ugliness but you. but really your only as pretty as you make your self out to be. I know most all Americans don't see it this way but this is how it should be. It really doesn't matter what you look like on the outside what matters the most is how you are on the inside. You can be the most beautiful person on the out side but if the inside is nothing but rotten it make you not look so beautiful after all. Any ways i realized that im the same person i have always been nothing really changed but my outside shell. And that is something to smile about. And now im not treated like an ogar but treated like the person i always thought that i was but no one could see but me and my husband who made it very clear that i was always beautiful to him. And once i stoped hatting myself and could see that the more beautiful i have become no one is ugly because they are fat and no one should hate themselves because they are fat that should love the person that they are. And if at the end of the day you can love the fat you as well as the new you then its a good day.
So for that i want to say thank you to the most loving man i have ever met.
 

Well yesterday out of pure want to i tried on my wedding dress from 2009. I put on the slip that wouldn't stay up with out a fight, i put the suckeriner bra thing on that i didn't need extenders for any more and i gracefully stepped into my wedding dress that was about six sizes too big. As i thought back to my wedding day i thought about before the wedding the scared feelings that excitement then i remembered thinking what am i going to look like in the pics? I thought omg call off the wedding im a cow. But i said oh well im not going to change in one day so lets get this over with. Needless to say i hated all the pics of my wedding that had me in them.
And now here i am about three years later in the same dress thinking damn i wish i would have been this skinny the day of my wedding. And that makes me think should i sell this dress and buy a new one with the money i get from the old one and do it again lol or maybe just take all the pictures again. But here is the thing that was me. And my husband married me for me not for what i looked like but me. Im still the same person there is just less of me. And my husband seems to love me just as much as he did the day we said "I DO" so sitting in that dress made me realize that i was happy about the wedding and the wedding pics after all. So i pulled the dress off and i hung it up and that is where it is going to stay if for nothing else but a reminder that even fat i was still beautiful to someone.
Its so easy to think that once you are looking cute that you were just ugly before and that everyone saw your ugliness but you. but really your only as pretty as you make your self out to be. I know most all Americans don't see it this way but this is how it should be. It really doesn't matter what you look like on the outside what matters the most is how you are on the inside. You can be the most beautiful person on the out side but if the inside is nothing but rotten it make you not look so beautiful after all. Any ways i realized that im the same person i have always been nothing really changed but my outside shell. And that is something to smile about. And now im not treated like an ogar but treated like the person i always thought that i was but no one could see but me and my husband who made it very clear that i was always beautiful to him. And once i stoped hatting myself and could see that the more beautiful i have become no one is ugly because they are fat and no one should hate themselves because they are fat that should love the person that they are. And if at the end of the day you can love the fat you as well as the new you then its a good day.
So for that i want to say thank you to the most loving man i have ever met.
 

Well yesterday out of pure want to i tried on my wedding dress from 2009. I put on the slip that wouldn't stay up with out a fight, i put the suckeriner bra thing on that i didn't need extenders for any more and i gracefully stepped into my wedding dress that was about six sizes too big. As i thought back to my wedding day i thought about before the wedding the scared feelings that excitement then i remembered thinking what am i going to look like in the pics? I thought omg call off the wedding im a cow. But i said oh well im not going to change in one day so lets get this over with. Needless to say i hated all the pics of my wedding that had me in them.
And now here i am about three years later in the same dress thinking damn i wish i would have been this skinny the day of my wedding. And that makes me think should i sell this dress and buy a new one with the money i get from the old one and do it again lol or maybe just take all the pictures again. But here is the thing that was me. And my husband married me for me not for what i looked like but me. Im still the same person there is just less of me. And my husband seems to love me just as much as he did the day we said "I DO" so sitting in that dress made me realize that i was happy about the wedding and the wedding pics after all. So i pulled the dress off and i hung it up and that is where it is going to stay if for nothing else but a reminder that even fat i was still beautiful to someone.
Its so easy to think that once you are looking cute that you were just ugly before and that everyone saw your ugliness but you. but really your only as pretty as you make your self out to be. I know most all Americans don't see it this way but this is how it should be. It really doesn't matter what you look like on the outside what matters the most is how you are on the inside. You can be the most beautiful person on the out side but if the inside is nothing but rotten it make you not look so beautiful after all. Any ways i realized that im the same person i have always been nothing really changed but my outside shell. And that is something to smile about. And now im not treated like an ogar but treated like the person i always thought that i was but no one could see but me and my husband who made it very clear that i was always beautiful to him. And once i stoped hatting myself and could see that the more beautiful i have become no one is ugly because they are fat and no one should hate themselves because they are fat that should love the person that they are. And if at the end of the day you can love the fat you as well as the new you then its a good day.
So for that i want to say thank you to the most loving man i have ever met.
 

I am so excited!!! I found a friend that started her lap band journey last month!!! And we live in the same town and our kids play sports together! I know that sounds crazy but i live in a very small town and i have yet to meet anyone that has lap band. Not only that but we have the same doctor and her first fill and my like seventh is on the same day at almost the same time. Its so nice to know that i don't have to go alone any more.
Now i am no longer shy about telling people that i have had lap band and everyone ask me about it but they cant really understand everything until you have had it and are pretty much going through the same thing. My favorite thing about lap band is that people ask me questions but to someone who has never had it done they cant always understand what you go through on a daily basis. Like right now i am having to fight myself to stay way from food, and drink more protein that is just icky. Any what i mean by staying away from food is that i have to stop myself from just snacking on everything like when i cook i want to snack but then when the meal is done im not hungry any more and if i eat well my tummy says NO! so that for me is my biggest problem right now. Every day is something new. I have pretty much everything but snacking under control so far. i have awesome blood pressure, haven't had heart burn in a while, i haven't been sick in a while, And im not feeling sleepy all day long any more. I got all my lab work done and everything was wonderful! That can make anyone day better when you hear that your vitamins are wonderful.
I have knowtist that my tast in food has changed. Like i used to love chicken nuggets and french fry's. now not so much. I like more fish now and i like lots of veggies now and just things that before i liked but never really wanted. French fry's are my least favorite food and bread. But i find that i really don't miss them that much any more. I do still eat pasta from time to time and Ramon noodles lol but i found that i can eat them when i cant eat anything else. Chips are becoming a problem and they weren't before my last fill. I can eat them but it hurts and i do the little furby sounds. so i guess maybe i should stay way from all chips, and tacos. Before its all said and done im starting to wonder if there will be anything that i can eat lol. the only veggies that i have found that i just cant do is broccoli, and sometimes asparagus but to be honest i don't really like asparagus that much. I hate when its in a can! And they are not easy to eat when steamed. Oh and raw veggies, they are not good going down. pretty much i have found that anything cold isnt easy to go down and usually wont. But again i don't really seem to mind it so much.
Now don't be crazy there are tons of things that i would just LOVE to eat like a burger, or stake, or turkey, and Chicken but i look at all the ways that i used to fix this stuff and i realize that its really wasn't that good for me to start with. Any ways i know this is all scattered and nuts but oh well.

One day while my husband and i where not married but a couple i went out to where he works for lunch, As we ate our lunch we got to talking about this guy that he didn't like and i had just seen. I ask what his name was he said Robbie i said oh like my name lol he said yes. We where talking and the conversation came up that he had had lap band surgery about two years ago. I said well how much did he weigh before? My husband said he weights more now then he did when he started. I could tell i had a puzzled look on my face and i said but my real mother had gastric bypass and she lost about 200lbs. He said yeah well he said lap band doesn't work.
That right there was my first conversation about lap band and the first time that i had even herd of it I thought well that will be something that i never ever do and just forgot about it. Until i considered the surgery for myself after i found a doctor that would do it and it not cost an arm, leg, and liver then i got to thinking about that very conversation. I was a little worried so i got online and looked it up. I stubbed on a video on YouTube about lap band and i saw that people did really really good with it. I was confused and wanted to know why in the world this guy had only gained weight. So who better to ask then the doctor himself right.
Well my appointment came around and i had so many question and thoughts and was pretty much scared crapless why i still don't know but i did ask if this going to work because there is a guy and he said it doesn't work and he gained lots of weight back. The doctor and the dietitian both said you have to make it work. It is nothing but a tool and you can cheat it but really your only cheating yourself. I said so is there a way that i can know that i wouldn't end up bigger then when i started? They said yes you do what your supposed to and don't try to cheat your band and make sure that you have fills like your supposed to. I said really that's it. The dietitian said its a tool its there to help you loose the weight, if you are not serious about it and you continue to do what your doing now then NO it will not work and it will be no ones fault but your own.So i left that day with a new look on life and a new feeling about life i thought well i can do this and i want to, I want to be the person that i feel like i am on the inside!
But the thought was still in my head if this guy gained so much weight back what did he do wrong. So i asked my husband who later came back and told me, He had one fill, drank sodas, ate whatever he wanted and more. That was all i had to hear was that the band didnt fail him he failed the band. And **** happens i know but i still cant for the life of me understand why someone would pay so much money to have this done and not do what they know they are supposed to do?
Its not even that hard to stick to really. Its protein really you just have to make sure that your getting lots of protein and not lots of crap. Yeah im sure it will not kill you to eat bread but the first time it gets stuck i promise you probably will not be eating bread again. Grease the first time you get heart burn real bad and throw it up you probably will try and stay away from it right? I know i do. Sugar well they make all kinds of sugar for people now that cant have real sugar its not hard to just stop buying and sub it for the fake sugar. Sodas I can see being a problem. I don't miss the taste and i really don't miss buying them the only thing i really miss are the bubbles. I know it sounds really crazy but that's really all that i miss about them. I haven't had a soda since august. Candy wasn't hard for me to give up i don't like it any ways. Chocolate well you can find it in sugar free and most of it now is pretty good. I will eat dark chocolate but i don't like to much of the rest. Cookies i will be the first to tell you i went through a cookie faze but again it in moderation i didn't just sit down and eat a whole box of cookies just about two or three a day and i didn't gain anything. Ice cream again i am going through that faze right now and still in moderation. I remember when i could sit down and eat a whole pint of Ben and Jerry's by myself now it takes me weeks and weeks to get through one and still i don't weigh any more. The band isn't there to be a BIG DIET your whole life its there as a tool so you can learn to control your portions and control what you eat and to know that most the time its not that your hungry but your board and that's what people tend to do when they are board is eat. Why i don't really know it just seems to be the thing to do.
That's why i am going to say this if you dont work with your band it will NOT work with you. It didn't take you one night to gain all the weight and its not going to take one night to loose all the weight. Hell it might even take longer then a year but if you are doing what your supposed to be doing to work with the band then there shouldn't be a problem! Now don't get me wrong there are ways the band can fail and i have read about it and watched it on YouTube but most of them where fixable unless the person didn't want them fixed or couldn't have them fixed. I have herd about a hole in the band where it leaks the water and wont fill that is the bands fault not yours. Also your band can slip and they will tell you that and from all the ones that i have herd about its because of the person not listening when they say very clearly DO NOT EAT HARD FOOD. Don't eat to soon and don't do anything that they tell you not to do there are reasons they are telling you this. Its not to piss you off and its not to hurt you its because they want you to have success with the band. Now what you cant always help its when you have a tummy bug and are throwing up to hard your band can slip and i have read that you cant even keep down liquid and there is horrible pain in your lower back and chest. I hope i don't ever have that!
But really the band can only work if you work with your band. If you don't want to work with the band then don't worry about the surgery because you probably shouldn't get it. Im not trying to be mean im just saying i am so sick of people saying the band doesn't work. I think its a bitterness that it didn't work for someone and they are pissed and they don't want anyone else to get the band because for them it didn't work. I can sit here an honestly say all the bad things that i have been through have been MY OWN DAMN FAULT. And i will say that so far every time except for the tummy bug there just wasn't anything any one could do for me. It wasn't really anyone's fault. I could blame everyone but at the end of it all i am the only one that is putting things in my mouth. No one else does it for me. So don't let anyone put you down if you want lap band and think its the best thing for you then you get it and make everyone else eat their harsh mean words! Because i know without a doubt that you all can do it and everyone can make it work for them.
There will be bumps, bruises, scratches, cuts, stops, slips, tears, pain, sweat, emotions, and maybe even some heart aches along the way but you have to remember your starting a new life. And with new things comes other new things. And im sure you can always find a friend on here who will understand what your dealing with and can find a way to help you to deal, and heal from whatever it is. And never let others get you down. Because once you see the new you, you will smile and know that it was all worth it and it really wasn't so bad it was really kind of fun. And once you see the 100's mark even if its 199 you will feel joy and just feel like you can rule the world and maybe even cry with happiness.
Always remember this you didn't get fat over night so don't think you will get skinny over night. It takes work and more work and time.

Well its a new day and that means new obstetrical, I have found since me and lap band became friends that i have new things to deal with everyday. What are you talking about you might ask well here we go lol. Before banding i would wake up in the mornings slowly get out of bed and want to cry as soon as my feet hit the floor. my feet hurt and my back was in a big amount of pain. Then i would go to the bathroom, Then strait to the kitchen for a soda and the remote. not to menchen i would wake up at eleven if i didnt have to take kids to school. any ways after my soda i would head to the fridge for my breakfast which was usually leftovers from the night before and since i would wake up at like 11 or 12 i didnt see the point in trying breakfast. so i would eat ten times to much and then it was lay around and watch tv, play on the computer, or maybe wash a load or two of clothes. I didnt have energy to do anything any more. And my clothes where always jeans when cold and an XXXL t-shirt and if it was hot or warm basketball shorts and an XXXL t-shirt. I mean dont get me wrong i had very beautiful clothes but i was to big to wear them.
So that was my before life all that right there i didnt like to go or do anything! I was a total couch potato! Now this is pretty much what i face every morning i will wake up uncurl myself (i usually wake up with my knees in my chest) then i will get up out of bed stretch no pain. journey to my bathroom do my stuff, go to the kitchen start my coffee, feed my dogs play with them a while, get my coffee and get on the computer and usually this is all before i wake up the kids to go to school or like a day like today where it is spring break all before nine o'clock. any ways i drink my coffee and get on the computer and check my email, and i run a business from home called Pomeranian's place. after all my computer stuff is done and all the coffee is gone i start off with maybe a protein shake because its so hard to eat in the mornings or i just mix protein and fiber with the coffee that i am drinking. Then i start off my day with cleaning (sometimes lol) and running earns like food shopping and just everyday life stuff. I usually always try to eat by 12 in less i am working at my other job which i got in October, then i will eat at one because i dont get off until 12:30 most days. After my lunch time meal is done i will do some more cleaning or play with the dogs, then maybe go and get the kids from school or when they dont have school i will work in the garden i am planting or mow the yard i find that i love to be outside now. And i am just waiting and counting down days until summer when i can go swimming anytime that i want. And clothes well for one i had to by all new clothes and i find myself bying things that i really love and no t-shirts my sizes now are pants size 11-10 and shirts xl to large. but i can buy girls shorts and look good in them again nothing skanky im to old for that lol. well i dont think i am to old i am 25 but with three kids i don't want to embarrass them. My point is is that after lap band i feel better i feel the need to get out and go. instead of trying to find the closest parking spot at a mall or store i find one that is farther away i mean yeah i dont want to loose the car one and two sometimes i just want to get home after a long day at the mall.
Thats another things shopping before i hated malls and i hated food shopping. I hated malls because most stores just dont make things for big women. And food shopping because that is when people are the meanest. When they see one big girl with a basket full of food they tend to sometimes say "and she wonders why she is so fat" any one else ever hear that? It will make you cry and just leave but what they dont think about is i have four other people at home besides me. Let me clear something up i knew i was fat and i knew i had a problem but until someone is in the same place that you are they will never understand what your going through.
As for malls now i love it no one looks at me crazy when i pick up a little shirt and no one says anything about do u really thing that you can wear that? No its really not like that for me. Here is a good story it was in january when i had just hit the 100's i needed new clothes and so i went shopping at a mall. What i didnt realize was that i had no clue what i was supposed to wear. I knew the size 14s i had on where way to big for me now and the XXL shirt i had on was also way to big. I went in to a store called the buckle. I was greated by a girl and a guy, they asked me what are you looking for i said i dont know. so the guy must have seen that i was almost ready to burst into tears and he came over and said what can i help you find what kinds of clothes do u like i said well i really dont know. He said what do you mean you dont know. I said well you dont understand before now all i have been wearing is basketball shorts and t-shirts. he smiled and said why i told him because before now i weighed about 300lbs he smiled and said no you didnt, i said um yeah i did and now that i can wear things in this store i dont even know where to start. He said well how much do you weigh now i said 198. he stoped and said holly crap! but he brought me all kinds of things to try on and worked with me untill i found a pair of jeans that fit perfect. He asked what size i was wearing right now i said a 14 he said no you my friend are in a size 11-12! Thanks to that guy i can now go into a store and know exactly what im looking for and what to buy although my size has dropped again i still know where i am supposed to be.
I know many people have had to feel like this sometime in there lives right. It is just so awesome to know that when i tell people how big i was they are like no way your so little now. Ill admit after that i went a little extream with the weight loss. And this right here is why they will not fill my band i lost to much weight to fast and with out really seeing it i was in trouble. I haven't been filled since January. I wasnt eating like i was supposed to and no i wasn't eating crap i was eating maybe once a day. and my band gets tighter and tighter when i don't eat. again i dont know why this happens it just seems to happen. I would eat one slice of lunch meat for lunch and again for dinner. I wasn't hungry and if i thought i might be i would drink something. Well my husband started trying to make me eat and thats when the throwing up started and im still fighting with it but im also eating right again and im trying very hard to do what i know i am supposed to do. And the treat of going to the hospital makes me want to stay on track. What i was doing wasn't right but i got carried away with all the weight that i was loosing and weighing myself everyday wasn't helping. And my scale was way off and that wasn't helping either when i thought that i weighted 198 or like a month and what i really was weighting was 189 well that's a big difference. I am back on track now and i gained a little weight back but it wasn't bad i didnt crumple and die but im slowly loosing weight again and the way that i am supposed to so im happy and i only weight myself once a month and when the doctor does it for me. And that takes a lot of pressure off my shoulder.
So even if you slip a little make sure you have someone to catch you and throw you back in place because everyone needs someone while dealing with change. And im not going to stop im am just going to do it smarter. And at the end of the day i know i am better then one year ago. and that to me is well worth it.

One day while my husband and i where not married but a couple i went out to where he works for lunch, As we ate our lunch we got to talking about this guy that he didn't like and i had just seen. I ask what his name was he said Robbie i said oh like my name lol he said yes. We where talking and the conversation came up that he had had lap band surgery about two years ago. I said well how much did he weigh before? My husband said he weights more now then he did when he started. I could tell i had a puzzled look on my face and i said but my real mother had gastric bypass and she lost about 200lbs. He said yeah well he said lap band doesn't work.
That right there was my first conversation about lap band and the first time that i had even herd of it I thought well that will be something that i never ever do and just forgot about it. Until i considered the surgery for myself after i found a doctor that would do it and it not cost an arm, leg, and liver then i got to thinking about that very conversation. I was a little worried so i got online and looked it up. I stubbed on a video on YouTube about lap band and i saw that people did really really good with it. I was confused and wanted to know why in the world this guy had only gained weight. So who better to ask then the doctor himself right.
Well my appointment came around and i had so many question and thoughts and was pretty much scared crapless why i still don't know but i did ask if this going to work because there is a guy and he said it doesn't work and he gained lots of weight back. The doctor and the dietitian both said you have to make it work. It is nothing but a tool and you can cheat it but really your only cheating yourself. I said so is there a way that i can know that i wouldn't end up bigger then when i started? They said yes you do what your supposed to and don't try to cheat your band and make sure that you have fills like your supposed to. I said really that's it. The dietitian said its a tool its there to help you loose the weight, if you are not serious about it and you continue to do what your doing now then NO it will not work and it will be no ones fault but your own.So i left that day with a new look on life and a new feeling about life i thought well i can do this and i want to, I want to be the person that i feel like i am on the inside!
But the thought was still in my head if this guy gained so much weight back what did he do wrong. So i asked my husband who later came back and told me, He had one fill, drank sodas, ate whatever he wanted and more. That was all i had to hear was that the band didnt fail him he failed the band. And **** happens i know but i still cant for the life of me understand why someone would pay so much money to have this done and not do what they know they are supposed to do?
Its not even that hard to stick to really. Its protein really you just have to make sure that your getting lots of protein and not lots of crap. Yeah im sure it will not kill you to eat bread but the first time it gets stuck i promise you probably will not be eating bread again. Grease the first time you get heart burn real bad and throw it up you probably will try and stay away from it right? I know i do. Sugar well they make all kinds of sugar for people now that cant have real sugar its not hard to just stop buying and sub it for the fake sugar. Sodas I can see being a problem. I don't miss the taste and i really don't miss buying them the only thing i really miss are the bubbles. I know it sounds really crazy but that's really all that i miss about them. I haven't had a soda since august. Candy wasn't hard for me to give up i don't like it any ways. Chocolate well you can find it in sugar free and most of it now is pretty good. I will eat dark chocolate but i don't like to much of the rest. Cookies i will be the first to tell you i went through a cookie faze but again it in moderation i didn't just sit down and eat a whole box of cookies just about two or three a day and i didn't gain anything. Ice cream again i am going through that faze right now and still in moderation. I remember when i could sit down and eat a whole pint of Ben and Jerry's by myself now it takes me weeks and weeks to get through one and still i don't weigh any more. The band isn't there to be a BIG DIET your whole life its there as a tool so you can learn to control your portions and control what you eat and to know that most the time its not that your hungry but your board and that's what people tend to do when they are board is eat. Why i don't really know it just seems to be the thing to do.
That's why i am going to say this if you dont work with your band it will NOT work with you. It didn't take you one night to gain all the weight and its not going to take one night to loose all the weight. Hell it might even take longer then a year but if you are doing what your supposed to be doing to work with the band then there shouldn't be a problem! Now don't get me wrong there are ways the band can fail and i have read about it and watched it on YouTube but most of them where fixable unless the person didn't want them fixed or couldn't have them fixed. I have herd about a hole in the band where it leaks the water and wont fill that is the bands fault not yours. Also your band can slip and they will tell you that and from all the ones that i have herd about its because of the person not listening when they say very clearly DO NOT EAT HARD FOOD. Don't eat to soon and don't do anything that they tell you not to do there are reasons they are telling you this. Its not to piss you off and its not to hurt you its because they want you to have success with the band. Now what you cant always help its when you have a tummy bug and are throwing up to hard your band can slip and i have read that you cant even keep down liquid and there is horrible pain in your lower back and chest. I hope i don't ever have that!
But really the band can only work if you work with your band. If you don't want to work with the band then don't worry about the surgery because you probably shouldn't get it. Im not trying to be mean im just saying i am so sick of people saying the band doesn't work. I think its a bitterness that it didn't work for someone and they are pissed and they don't want anyone else to get the band because for them it didn't work. I can sit here an honestly say all the bad things that i have been through have been MY OWN DAMN FAULT. And i will say that so far every time except for the tummy bug there just wasn't anything any one could do for me. It wasn't really anyone's fault. I could blame everyone but at the end of it all i am the only one that is putting things in my mouth. No one else does it for me. So don't let anyone put you down if you want lap band and think its the best thing for you then you get it and make everyone else eat their harsh mean words! Because i know without a doubt that you all can do it and everyone can make it work for them.
There will be bumps, bruises, scratches, cuts, stops, slips, tears, pain, sweat, emotions, and maybe even some heart aches along the way but you have to remember your starting a new life. And with new things comes other new things. And im sure you can always find a friend on here who will understand what your dealing with and can find a way to help you to deal, and heal from whatever it is. And never let others get you down. Because once you see the new you, you will smile and know that it was all worth it and it really wasn't so bad it was really kind of fun. And once you see the 100's mark even if its 199 you will feel joy and just feel like you can rule the world and maybe even cry with happiness.
Always remember this you didn't get fat over night so don't think you will get skinny over night. It takes work and more work and time.

One day while my husband and i where not married but a couple i went out to where he works for lunch, As we ate our lunch we got to talking about this guy that he didn't like and i had just seen. I ask what his name was he said Robbie i said oh like my name lol he said yes. We where talking and the conversation came up that he had had lap band surgery about two years ago. I said well how much did he weigh before? My husband said he weights more now then he did when he started. I could tell i had a puzzled look on my face and i said but my real mother had gastric bypass and she lost about 200lbs. He said yeah well he said lap band doesn't work.
That right there was my first conversation about lap band and the first time that i had even herd of it I thought well that will be something that i never ever do and just forgot about it. Until i considered the surgery for myself after i found a doctor that would do it and it not cost an arm, leg, and liver then i got to thinking about that very conversation. I was a little worried so i got online and looked it up. I stubbed on a video on YouTube about lap band and i saw that people did really really good with it. I was confused and wanted to know why in the world this guy had only gained weight. So who better to ask then the doctor himself right.
Well my appointment came around and i had so many question and thoughts and was pretty much scared crapless why i still don't know but i did ask if this going to work because there is a guy and he said it doesn't work and he gained lots of weight back. The doctor and the dietitian both said you have to make it work. It is nothing but a tool and you can cheat it but really your only cheating yourself. I said so is there a way that i can know that i wouldn't end up bigger then when i started? They said yes you do what your supposed to and don't try to cheat your band and make sure that you have fills like your supposed to. I said really that's it. The dietitian said its a tool its there to help you loose the weight, if you are not serious about it and you continue to do what your doing now then NO it will not work and it will be no ones fault but your own.So i left that day with a new look on life and a new feeling about life i thought well i can do this and i want to, I want to be the person that i feel like i am on the inside!
But the thought was still in my head if this guy gained so much weight back what did he do wrong. So i asked my husband who later came back and told me, He had one fill, drank sodas, ate whatever he wanted and more. That was all i had to hear was that the band didnt fail him he failed the band. And **** happens i know but i still cant for the life of me understand why someone would pay so much money to have this done and not do what they know they are supposed to do?
Its not even that hard to stick to really. Its protein really you just have to make sure that your getting lots of protein and not lots of crap. Yeah im sure it will not kill you to eat bread but the first time it gets stuck i promise you probably will not be eating bread again. Grease the first time you get heart burn real bad and throw it up you probably will try and stay away from it right? I know i do. Sugar well they make all kinds of sugar for people now that cant have real sugar its not hard to just stop buying and sub it for the fake sugar. Sodas I can see being a problem. I don't miss the taste and i really don't miss buying them the only thing i really miss are the bubbles. I know it sounds really crazy but that's really all that i miss about them. I haven't had a soda since august. Candy wasn't hard for me to give up i don't like it any ways. Chocolate well you can find it in sugar free and most of it now is pretty good. I will eat dark chocolate but i don't like to much of the rest. Cookies i will be the first to tell you i went through a cookie faze but again it in moderation i didn't just sit down and eat a whole box of cookies just about two or three a day and i didn't gain anything. Ice cream again i am going through that faze right now and still in moderation. I remember when i could sit down and eat a whole pint of Ben and Jerry's by myself now it takes me weeks and weeks to get through one and still i don't weigh any more. The band isn't there to be a BIG DIET your whole life its there as a tool so you can learn to control your portions and control what you eat and to know that most the time its not that your hungry but your board and that's what people tend to do when they are board is eat. Why i don't really know it just seems to be the thing to do.
That's why i am going to say this if you dont work with your band it will NOT work with you. It didn't take you one night to gain all the weight and its not going to take one night to loose all the weight. Hell it might even take longer then a year but if you are doing what your supposed to be doing to work with the band then there shouldn't be a problem! Now don't get me wrong there are ways the band can fail and i have read about it and watched it on YouTube but most of them where fixable unless the person didn't want them fixed or couldn't have them fixed. I have herd about a hole in the band where it leaks the water and wont fill that is the bands fault not yours. Also your band can slip and they will tell you that and from all the ones that i have herd about its because of the person not listening when they say very clearly DO NOT EAT HARD FOOD. Don't eat to soon and don't do anything that they tell you not to do there are reasons they are telling you this. Its not to piss you off and its not to hurt you its because they want you to have success with the band. Now what you cant always help its when you have a tummy bug and are throwing up to hard your band can slip and i have read that you cant even keep down liquid and there is horrible pain in your lower back and chest. I hope i don't ever have that!
But really the band can only work if you work with your band. If you don't want to work with the band then don't worry about the surgery because you probably shouldn't get it. Im not trying to be mean im just saying i am so sick of people saying the band doesn't work. I think its a bitterness that it didn't work for someone and they are pissed and they don't want anyone else to get the band because for them it didn't work. I can sit here an honestly say all the bad things that i have been through have been MY OWN DAMN FAULT. And i will say that so far every time except for the tummy bug there just wasn't anything any one could do for me. It wasn't really anyone's fault. I could blame everyone but at the end of it all i am the only one that is putting things in my mouth. No one else does it for me. So don't let anyone put you down if you want lap band and think its the best thing for you then you get it and make everyone else eat their harsh mean words! Because i know without a doubt that you all can do it and everyone can make it work for them.
There will be bumps, bruises, scratches, cuts, stops, slips, tears, pain, sweat, emotions, and maybe even some heart aches along the way but you have to remember your starting a new life. And with new things comes other new things. And im sure you can always find a friend on here who will understand what your dealing with and can find a way to help you to deal, and heal from whatever it is. And never let others get you down. Because once you see the new you, you will smile and know that it was all worth it and it really wasn't so bad it was really kind of fun. And once you see the 100's mark even if its 199 you will feel joy and just feel like you can rule the world and maybe even cry with happiness.
Always remember this you didn't get fat over night so don't think you will get skinny over night. It takes work and more work and time.

It took me five months to see that i had lost weight. It took my mom forcing me to into a size 16 from a 20 (because i was scared they wouldn't fit). And sometimes i don't see that i have changed at all. When i look in the mirror sometimes i still see the old me, the me that was over weight to the point of i didn't look like i had a neck. I don't recognize the person looking back at me sometimes. Although lots of people have said to me "you have lost so much weight! How did you do it?" The first time i realized that i really wasn't the fat girl any more was really two weeks ago when i took a pic with my daughter for the first time since i had surgery. Granted i cant fit in any of my old clothes but i do still try to wear them sometimes. I cant wear the pants clearly since i am in a size 11 now but i do still try to wear my old shirts size XXX L when really i can fit in a size XL and its loose. So why do i feel like i haven't lost anything?
The mirror is my worst enemy. I have no full length mirrors in my house all my mirrors are boob up mirrors. I did that because i didnt want to see anything below that before and i really had no reason to as long as my shoes matched. I know that i have lost weight, but when i saw that it was like wow! I kinda feel like i have cheated myself like i just woke up one morning and the weight that i see in the mirror was gone. I saw the scales but i guess in my mind i just didn't want to believe it. I really hope that i am not the only one that is feeling this way. I want to be able to see what everyone else sees but im not sure that i can ever see that.
I love wearing jeans that i can buy from jcp or the buckle or where ever i want and i love to be able to go in to any store and buy any shirt or under wear or bra that i want but i just want to see it for myself!
Any ways im not saying that i am not happy that i am getting health im just saying why can i not see it? Please someone tell me that you are having the same problem, that its not just me and im not just crazy,

It took me five months to see that i had lost weight. It took my mom forcing me to into a size 16 from a 20 (because i was scared they wouldn't fit). And sometimes i don't see that i have changed at all. When i look in the mirror sometimes i still see the old me, the me that was over weight to the point of i didn't look like i had a neck. I don't recognize the person looking back at me sometimes. Although lots of people have said to me "you have lost so much weight! How did you do it?" The first time i realized that i really wasn't the fat girl any more was really two weeks ago when i took a pic with my daughter for the first time since i had surgery. Granted i cant fit in any of my old clothes but i do still try to wear them sometimes. I cant wear the pants clearly since i am in a size 11 now but i do still try to wear my old shirts size XXX L when really i can fit in a size XL and its loose. So why do i feel like i haven't lost anything?
The mirror is my worst enemy. I have no full length mirrors in my house all my mirrors are boob up mirrors. I did that because i didnt want to see anything below that before and i really had no reason to as long as my shoes matched. I know that i have lost weight, but when i saw that it was like wow! I kinda feel like i have cheated myself like i just woke up one morning and the weight that i see in the mirror was gone. I saw the scales but i guess in my mind i just didn't want to believe it. I really hope that i am not the only one that is feeling this way. I want to be able to see what everyone else sees but im not sure that i can ever see that.
I love wearing jeans that i can buy from jcp or the buckle or where ever i want and i love to be able to go in to any store and buy any shirt or under wear or bra that i want but i just want to see it for myself!
Any ways im not saying that i am not happy that i am getting health im just saying why can i not see it? Please someone tell me that you are having the same problem, that its not just me and im not just crazy,

On my journey the one thing that i can say is that its not my fault that i am loosing weight and your not! I have worked hard to be where i am right now and what have you done? Nothing but put me down! Ok let me explain please i have known lots of people like this, Before when i was big there where people that would talk to me but we were not friends. Now the same people think that its ok to pretend like i dont exist or they will talk bad about me say things like so and so's mom (and point at me) is on drugs and thats why she has lost so much weight. I have even had one parent that wouldnt let her child come and sit with us because of that little remark made by her daughter. Some people are just that dumb and we will just have to learn to deal with dumb people.
I try just let it go because me and all the people that matter are happy for me but sometimes it just gets to me and i just want to show them my scars and say no i had WLS dumb A#$ but i dont i just let it go and worry about it later. well again im makeing this short i just wnanted to get that off my chest! have a wonderful day!

Ok i know that i already posted a blog earlier but i cant help but to remember things that i want to talk about and didn't. Life with lap band isn't perfect and it wasn't meant to be its a tool just like a computer or a calculator is its there for help. It isnt there to just take the fat away while you do nothing its not an easy fix, now the reason i say this is because i can not count the number of time i have been told well isnt that cheating? And this is my answer "NO you dont understand i have a leave of control that wasn't there before. I have this tool to help me to not make bad choices and sometimes i do and then i realize by my own hard hardheadedness that maybe i shouldn't have done that. But again its nothing more then a tool". Then another question i have been ask is Why couldn't you have just done this on your own? This would be my Favorite question. And here is what i usually say " have you ever been on a diet and got stuck at one number and at the end of the day you just felt like it wasn't worth it any more? Well it was like that for me and i would give up or maybe you went on a diet but at the same time wanted a big plate of food and you just said screw it and ate whatever you wanted any ways and then gained weight and the whole thing just didn't seem to work for you? that is why i did it because i need control and i need a way that wont let me cheat and i need to feel like i can do something about the way that i look." Here is what the people who love you and care about you need to understand its all about you with lap band now i dont mean go and forget about others but you have to make your weight loss something that is yours. Something that you can control and something that is for you because if you dont want to do it then you wont. It has to be for you and yes there are other reasons mine was i wanted to go to a water park with my family and wear a swim suit nothing skanky just wear one again. i told my self that if i could get down to the 100s by Christmas we were going to great wolf lodge (its an indoor water park). I know i was banded in September and didnt give my self much time but for Christmas i was at that water park and i was in a swimming suit. Again nothing skanky and i wore shorts and a shirt but the good thing was that i didnt really have to and i damn sure didnt have to wear boys swim trunks and i didnt have to wear about ten undershirts. I was in a women swimming suit and i wasnt scared of well maybe i shouldnt wear this im too fat. i was 210lbs and that to me was so much better then 280. I have done things now that i would have never been able to do before. If i had never have done this for myself and done it for someone else i don't think that i would have stuck with it. I think it would have been like everything else that i had done before to try and get the weight off and yes before it was for someone else and it wasn't ever really for me.
Some question will really get to you and might even make you think well should i really have done this? When i had this done i didn't want to let anyone know what i did i was scared that they would think i was cheating and that i had failed. But i realized that not to many people really think that not to many people are really that fast to judge you. However i have found some that are. See when you start to loose a lot of weight people what to know how, how you did it and what you are doing. And again at first these where not easy question to answer i mean how are you supposed to tell people that you have had weight loss surgery. For a while i thought well maybe i have cheated myself maybe i could have done this on my own and i didn't really need the lap band. But the truth was always there i needed some help i needed it and so i posted on Facebook what i did and just sat and waited. I waited to see what people would think of me now that they had the chance to ask me and find out what i had really done. and it turns out most of the feed back that i got wasn't bad it was mostly all good, and then there is the question here it is " was your husband going to leave you because you where so fat?" No my husband loved me for me not for what i looked like i mean he says that i am more fun now but he has always loved me.
I get a look sometimes when i tell people that i have had lap band like ummm you did what? and sometimes its a pitty look like oh that poor girl she must have weighted 500lbs. But with time it gets easier to deal with all the questions all the bad look and you end up just smiling and knowing that you did what was right for you. And do be surprised when people act like you didn't know you were fat. LOL this is one of the questions i hate the most. " well what made you decide you were fat?" Im always like wtf! Do you really think that i didnt know i was fat? I looked im a mirror every day of my life. In fact i didnt decide i was fat i decided to get help for myself, because i wasn't doing a very good job on my own.
Here is something else that i have learned people treat you different even some of your friends will treat you different. I mean people are nice but sometimes when someone sees you like a cable guy or something they will be nice but that's pretty much it. Example i had a cable guy come to my house to install internet for after my surgery. He was nice answered all my questions and did his job and left. two months ago i had to call them back because of some outside issues and the way i was treated was completely different he had a conversation with me and told me all kinds of things but when i was bigger he wouldn't say more then a few words to me at a time. People in stores treat you different to my husband thought i was joking until i told him to come in a store with me. One that him and i had been in when i was bigger and i had to ask for help and i had to get my own stuff they did very very little. But as soon as i walked in all of a sudden i had three people ask me what they could get for me and what size i needed. My husband has never questioned that again. When your big sometimes its hard for us to take up for our selves sometimes its like well whats the point? And i cant speek for any one else but i was like that for a long time after the surgery i didnt see the difference and i thought well if someone was to call me fat all i could do is cry and go home like i always do. Untill two weeks ago i didnt realize that i did look different that i wasnt really "fat" any more. but i was standing up to people who i would have never stood up to before, i got to a point where i wasn't going to let any one say anything about the way that i looked what my children where eating or anything and for the first time i stood up for my step son and it felt really good to do that for my child. That was another turning point were i thought wow i can do this and i didnt loose it i wasn't told to sit down and shut up and i wasn't called fat.
LIfe after lap band isnt always fun and its not easy but i would say its more then worth it. And sometimes its crazy frustrating i mean who doesn't want a big burger from time to time or a big soda or just alot of crap all at once. But when you realize that you have the control and the will not to it all seems worth it. when your daughter comes up to you and throws her arms around you and says WOW MOM i can fit my arms around you like twice, then its all worth it. When you can do things with your husband that before just were not possible then its worth it. When you see a man from your past that put you down and told you, you where ugly and fat and couldn't been seen with you, and he says to you wow your so pretty and you can just sit and smile and tell him thank you or tell him he can go to hell which ever then you know that it was all worth it.

Well its a new day and that means new obstetrical, I have found since me and lap band became friends that i have new things to deal with everyday. What are you talking about you might ask well here we go lol. Before banding i would wake up in the mornings slowly get out of bed and want to cry as soon as my feet hit the floor. my feet hurt and my back was in a big amount of pain. Then i would go to the bathroom, Then strait to the kitchen for a soda and the remote. not to menchen i would wake up at eleven if i didnt have to take kids to school. any ways after my soda i would head to the fridge for my breakfast which was usually leftovers from the night before and since i would wake up at like 11 or 12 i didnt see the point in trying breakfast. so i would eat ten times to much and then it was lay around and watch tv, play on the computer, or maybe wash a load or two of clothes. I didnt have energy to do anything any more. And my clothes where always jeans when cold and an XXXL t-shirt and if it was hot or warm basketball shorts and an XXXL t-shirt. I mean dont get me wrong i had very beautiful clothes but i was to big to wear them.
So that was my before life all that right there i didnt like to go or do anything! I was a total couch potato! Now this is pretty much what i face every morning i will wake up uncurl myself (i usually wake up with my knees in my chest) then i will get up out of bed stretch no pain. journey to my bathroom do my stuff, go to the kitchen start my coffee, feed my dogs play with them a while, get my coffee and get on the computer and usually this is all before i wake up the kids to go to school or like a day like today where it is spring break all before nine o'clock. any ways i drink my coffee and get on the computer and check my email, and i run a business from home called Pomeranian's place. after all my computer stuff is done and all the coffee is gone i start off with maybe a protein shake because its so hard to eat in the mornings or i just mix protein and fiber with the coffee that i am drinking. Then i start off my day with cleaning (sometimes lol) and running earns like food shopping and just everyday life stuff. I usually always try to eat by 12 in less i am working at my other job which i got in October, then i will eat at one because i dont get off until 12:30 most days. After my lunch time meal is done i will do some more cleaning or play with the dogs, then maybe go and get the kids from school or when they dont have school i will work in the garden i am planting or mow the yard i find that i love to be outside now. And i am just waiting and counting down days until summer when i can go swimming anytime that i want. And clothes well for one i had to by all new clothes and i find myself bying things that i really love and no t-shirts my sizes now are pants size 11-10 and shirts xl to large. but i can buy girls shorts and look good in them again nothing skanky im to old for that lol. well i dont think i am to old i am 25 but with three kids i don't want to embarrass them. My point is is that after lap band i feel better i feel the need to get out and go. instead of trying to find the closest parking spot at a mall or store i find one that is farther away i mean yeah i dont want to loose the car one and two sometimes i just want to get home after a long day at the mall.
Thats another things shopping before i hated malls and i hated food shopping. I hated malls because most stores just dont make things for big women. And food shopping because that is when people are the meanest. When they see one big girl with a basket full of food they tend to sometimes say "and she wonders why she is so fat" any one else ever hear that? It will make you cry and just leave but what they dont think about is i have four other people at home besides me. Let me clear something up i knew i was fat and i knew i had a problem but until someone is in the same place that you are they will never understand what your going through.
As for malls now i love it no one looks at me crazy when i pick up a little shirt and no one says anything about do u really thing that you can wear that? No its really not like that for me. Here is a good story it was in january when i had just hit the 100's i needed new clothes and so i went shopping at a mall. What i didnt realize was that i had no clue what i was supposed to wear. I knew the size 14s i had on where way to big for me now and the XXL shirt i had on was also way to big. I went in to a store called the buckle. I was greated by a girl and a guy, they asked me what are you looking for i said i dont know. so the guy must have seen that i was almost ready to burst into tears and he came over and said what can i help you find what kinds of clothes do u like i said well i really dont know. He said what do you mean you dont know. I said well you dont understand before now all i have been wearing is basketball shorts and t-shirts. he smiled and said why i told him because before now i weighed about 300lbs he smiled and said no you didnt, i said um yeah i did and now that i can wear things in this store i dont even know where to start. He said well how much do you weigh now i said 198. he stoped and said holly crap! but he brought me all kinds of things to try on and worked with me untill i found a pair of jeans that fit perfect. He asked what size i was wearing right now i said a 14 he said no you my friend are in a size 11-12! Thanks to that guy i can now go into a store and know exactly what im looking for and what to buy although my size has dropped again i still know where i am supposed to be.
I know many people have had to feel like this sometime in there lives right. It is just so awesome to know that when i tell people how big i was they are like no way your so little now. Ill admit after that i went a little extream with the weight loss. And this right here is why they will not fill my band i lost to much weight to fast and with out really seeing it i was in trouble. I haven't been filled since January. I wasnt eating like i was supposed to and no i wasn't eating crap i was eating maybe once a day. and my band gets tighter and tighter when i don't eat. again i dont know why this happens it just seems to happen. I would eat one slice of lunch meat for lunch and again for dinner. I wasn't hungry and if i thought i might be i would drink something. Well my husband started trying to make me eat and thats when the throwing up started and im still fighting with it but im also eating right again and im trying very hard to do what i know i am supposed to do. And the treat of going to the hospital makes me want to stay on track. What i was doing wasn't right but i got carried away with all the weight that i was loosing and weighing myself everyday wasn't helping. And my scale was way off and that wasn't helping either when i thought that i weighted 198 or like a month and what i really was weighting was 189 well that's a big difference. I am back on track now and i gained a little weight back but it wasn't bad i didnt crumple and die but im slowly loosing weight again and the way that i am supposed to so im happy and i only weight myself once a month and when the doctor does it for me. And that takes a lot of pressure off my shoulder.
So even if you slip a little make sure you have someone to catch you and throw you back in place because everyone needs someone while dealing with change. And im not going to stop im am just going to do it smarter. And at the end of the day i know i am better then one year ago. and that to me is well worth it.

Well its a new day and that means new obstetrical, I have found since me and lap band became friends that i have new things to deal with everyday. What are you talking about you might ask well here we go lol. Before banding i would wake up in the mornings slowly get out of bed and want to cry as soon as my feet hit the floor. my feet hurt and my back was in a big amount of pain. Then i would go to the bathroom, Then strait to the kitchen for a soda and the remote. not to menchen i would wake up at eleven if i didnt have to take kids to school. any ways after my soda i would head to the fridge for my breakfast which was usually leftovers from the night before and since i would wake up at like 11 or 12 i didnt see the point in trying breakfast. so i would eat ten times to much and then it was lay around and watch tv, play on the computer, or maybe wash a load or two of clothes. I didnt have energy to do anything any more. And my clothes where always jeans when cold and an XXXL t-shirt and if it was hot or warm basketball shorts and an XXXL t-shirt. I mean dont get me wrong i had very beautiful clothes but i was to big to wear them.
So that was my before life all that right there i didnt like to go or do anything! I was a total couch potato! Now this is pretty much what i face every morning i will wake up uncurl myself (i usually wake up with my knees in my chest) then i will get up out of bed stretch no pain. journey to my bathroom do my stuff, go to the kitchen start my coffee, feed my dogs play with them a while, get my coffee and get on the computer and usually this is all before i wake up the kids to go to school or like a day like today where it is spring break all before nine o'clock. any ways i drink my coffee and get on the computer and check my email, and i run a business from home called Pomeranian's place. after all my computer stuff is done and all the coffee is gone i start off with maybe a protein shake because its so hard to eat in the mornings or i just mix protein and fiber with the coffee that i am drinking. Then i start off my day with cleaning (sometimes lol) and running earns like food shopping and just everyday life stuff. I usually always try to eat by 12 in less i am working at my other job which i got in October, then i will eat at one because i dont get off until 12:30 most days. After my lunch time meal is done i will do some more cleaning or play with the dogs, then maybe go and get the kids from school or when they dont have school i will work in the garden i am planting or mow the yard i find that i love to be outside now. And i am just waiting and counting down days until summer when i can go swimming anytime that i want. And clothes well for one i had to by all new clothes and i find myself bying things that i really love and no t-shirts my sizes now are pants size 11-10 and shirts xl to large. but i can buy girls shorts and look good in them again nothing skanky im to old for that lol. well i dont think i am to old i am 25 but with three kids i don't want to embarrass them. My point is is that after lap band i feel better i feel the need to get out and go. instead of trying to find the closest parking spot at a mall or store i find one that is farther away i mean yeah i dont want to loose the car one and two sometimes i just want to get home after a long day at the mall.
Thats another things shopping before i hated malls and i hated food shopping. I hated malls because most stores just dont make things for big women. And food shopping because that is when people are the meanest. When they see one big girl with a basket full of food they tend to sometimes say "and she wonders why she is so fat" any one else ever hear that? It will make you cry and just leave but what they dont think about is i have four other people at home besides me. Let me clear something up i knew i was fat and i knew i had a problem but until someone is in the same place that you are they will never understand what your going through.
As for malls now i love it no one looks at me crazy when i pick up a little shirt and no one says anything about do u really thing that you can wear that? No its really not like that for me. Here is a good story it was in january when i had just hit the 100's i needed new clothes and so i went shopping at a mall. What i didnt realize was that i had no clue what i was supposed to wear. I knew the size 14s i had on where way to big for me now and the XXL shirt i had on was also way to big. I went in to a store called the buckle. I was greated by a girl and a guy, they asked me what are you looking for i said i dont know. so the guy must have seen that i was almost ready to burst into tears and he came over and said what can i help you find what kinds of clothes do u like i said well i really dont know. He said what do you mean you dont know. I said well you dont understand before now all i have been wearing is basketball shorts and t-shirts. he smiled and said why i told him because before now i weighed about 300lbs he smiled and said no you didnt, i said um yeah i did and now that i can wear things in this store i dont even know where to start. He said well how much do you weigh now i said 198. he stoped and said holly crap! but he brought me all kinds of things to try on and worked with me untill i found a pair of jeans that fit perfect. He asked what size i was wearing right now i said a 14 he said no you my friend are in a size 11-12! Thanks to that guy i can now go into a store and know exactly what im looking for and what to buy although my size has dropped again i still know where i am supposed to be.
I know many people have had to feel like this sometime in there lives right. It is just so awesome to know that when i tell people how big i was they are like no way your so little now. Ill admit after that i went a little extream with the weight loss. And this right here is why they will not fill my band i lost to much weight to fast and with out really seeing it i was in trouble. I haven't been filled since January. I wasnt eating like i was supposed to and no i wasn't eating crap i was eating maybe once a day. and my band gets tighter and tighter when i don't eat. again i dont know why this happens it just seems to happen. I would eat one slice of lunch meat for lunch and again for dinner. I wasn't hungry and if i thought i might be i would drink something. Well my husband started trying to make me eat and thats when the throwing up started and im still fighting with it but im also eating right again and im trying very hard to do what i know i am supposed to do. And the treat of going to the hospital makes me want to stay on track. What i was doing wasn't right but i got carried away with all the weight that i was loosing and weighing myself everyday wasn't helping. And my scale was way off and that wasn't helping either when i thought that i weighted 198 or like a month and what i really was weighting was 189 well that's a big difference. I am back on track now and i gained a little weight back but it wasn't bad i didnt crumple and die but im slowly loosing weight again and the way that i am supposed to so im happy and i only weight myself once a month and when the doctor does it for me. And that takes a lot of pressure off my shoulder.
So even if you slip a little make sure you have someone to catch you and throw you back in place because everyone needs someone while dealing with change. And im not going to stop im am just going to do it smarter. And at the end of the day i know i am better then one year ago. and that to me is well worth it.