rrj1811

We have been married a little over a yr and on Jan. 31 2012 he had his sleeve done. I'm trying to be supportive but it's becoming harder as the weeks pass. At first I was going to the gym with him but now he goes late at night (9:30-10ish) when I'm exhausted from the day. I have in and let him take over the grocery shopping and cooking so that he can be sure to get what he needs and I don't mess him up. So far our biggest challenge has been the dinning out. I'm not big on going out since I feel that I'm never home with work and college both full time, but he does not work and feels that he is treating me by going out. I have explained that I would rather stay home so he gets what he needs and I get to relax but this just starts arguing over how he is trying to keep our lives normal and I am " babying" him. The reality is, and I've told him this, is that is awkward to be at a table shoving food in while he is across from me with just a glass of water. He feels that his new lifestyle shouldn't effect me and that I'm being vain. Does anyone have any advice as how to explain to him that his new life is my new life too?

Thanks for all the responses, but to answer all the questions... No I'm not getting sleeved, but a little heavier thang avg(185), I used to go to the gym by myself before work and he never wanted to go( too early for him) so when he started going post op I told him I wanted to go with him. He got laid off in late June and was having health issues so he has been taking the time off to get better and no he is not in school. According to him he only eats bc he has too and nothing tastes good to him really, so it's hard for me to adjust when our thing was having a date night every few weeks. We would go out and the conversation (since we were dating) always starts off with what are you ordering? I know I don't need to change my habits, but it makes me uncomfortable eating out, he thinks I'm just being vain about what peopl think, but I'm sure it's going to get looks and questions. It took me almost a year of dating to get used to him telling a waiter about his peanut allergy, it made me feel like a spectical but I never told him that it made me feel weird