So I would be a big fibber if I said this week was easy. I am kinda falling apart, I am snapping at my poor husband but eat a cupcake (3) in front of a all liquid diet wife. I almost punched him, and his mom for sending them home with him!
I just had a sugar free apple cider and walked away VERY grumpy.
Only 3 more days of this! Then two more weeks, lol.
I am off of my soap box and will realx about this, it's the beginning of my new life.
Let me start with this; no matter how much knowledge you accumulate before this surgery, you can’t be fully prepared as to what will happen after surgery. I went through and read so many posting of people struggling with food, cheating, wondering why they hadn’t lost weight. I couldn't understand how someone could go through this surgery and do that to themselves. I knew I would NEVER jeopardize my health or my new little sleeve after surgery by cheating or going off the Dr.’s plan...
Surgery went great, I lived through it and recovered quickly with the most pain being the first few hours after getting out. Within days I was able to take normal drinks of liquids and stayed on a liquid diet with no hunger until Monday morning (4 days out).
Tuesday I ended up eating five saltines and boy did I beat myself up for it. I called my Dr. and begged for them to change my one week appointment to Wednesday instead of Friday because I physically felt like I could NOT wait all week to start full fluids and protein shakes. Appointment got changed. Wednesday morning I went and saw the PA and she said I was OK-ed for full liquids and soft foods. I was 16.8 lbs down at the first week visit. So that day I had two eggs and several bites of my husband’s country fried steak for breakfast. Two hours later I felt famished and had some more of his country fried steak. I continued eating eggs with cheese, slivers of crockpot roast, pan fried chicken w skin, lunch meat, cheese, turkey jerky bites, salami w cream cheese rolled with a pepperchini topped with green olives ( I ate around 25 of these over a five hour period, felt like I couldn’t stop eating them). My sleeve tolerated it with no problems. I realized the insane cravings for copious amounts of food came from me being on my period. Btw, weighed Monday morning and I GAINED 5lbs, not surprised in the least.
Sunday Day 10 comes and it was a HUGE turning point. Went to my Grandpa's to celebrate a family birthday and He made tri tip, a whole ham, all the sides. So I put a slice of ham and tri tip w green beans on my plate. I start with the ham and green beans, I get an ounce of ham down and get a terrible fullness and gas in my stomach. Strange, I never had that before. I literally could not eat anymore and I felt sick. So I go home and my husband’s friends are over and they make chicken and mushrooms for a late dinner. I eat a small piece of slightly greasy chicken and 10 mins after I am in the bathroom puking.
FINALLY!!!! I feel like my sleeve is working. I get totally full off 1-2oz instead of the 4-6oz I was consuming. I am shocked. The hunger is minimal and comes up around the 3 to 4 hrs after last meal. Insane! The last few days it’s been hard to get to 400 calories, are you kidding me?? I didn’t think it was possible judging from the four day binge I went on. I also switched back to softer food. I know I was justifying food as soft that was not in the soft category. Now I'm eating tuna salmon, baby shrimp and eggs. I lost 2 1/2 of the lbs I gained.
I honestly do not know why there was such a delay in me feeling the effects of the sleeve. It took a long time for me to be able to pass gas, almost 6 days because my bowls were having problems "waking up" after surgery. Maybe my stomach did too? This is my husband's theory and it is the only one that makes sense as to how I was fitting so much food in and never feeling satisfied until Day 10.
I did NOT plan on sharing this with anyone. It is embarrassing and shameful. I jeopardized my health because I didn’t get control over my hunger. But I decided to share because maybe someone else out there is new out of surgery with a ravenous appetite and might possibly be able to relate or learn from my mistakes. More importantly I would hate for anyone to feel as hopeless as I did, thinking that this surgery was a total mistake. During those few days I would not have trusted anyone had they told me things would get better and eventually my hunger would subside -- but it DID! Every person's body is so unique and will be different through this process. For some of us it takes longer to reap the benefits of this surgery. And trying to distinguish between real hunger and head hunger is no joke, I think this will take years for me to deal with. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So keep jugging along...
I think can! I think I can!
I have committed and I am on board! I am going to get a Gastric Sleeve and change my life!! Oh my gosh, my life will never be the same...my relationship with food will forever be altered...so many things racing through my brain today. I am excited and scared, joyful, yet apprehensive. The idea is almost surreal in a way. Just thinking a year from now, I am going to be free of this heavy coat I wear. I have been spending my entire evening going through the forum and reading so many stories. Getting so inspired, sometimes scared, but mostly excited about the future. Perhaps it quite normal, but I almost feel a sense of nostalgia to my old friend "food". All the false comfort it provided at time, and oh how my good friend Oreo cookie never once turned his back on me (why the Oreo is a he? Not sure) But, like a bad habit of any other kind, I'm never looking back. I have my eyes set on success and failure in this chapter of my life is no longer an option. I will be strong, I will be confident, I will be healthy, I will live longer and watch my children have their own children one day, I will be beautiful inside and out, I will break the chain of obesity today, starting with me! Oh... and I plan on rocking some really cute boots once I have calves that can fit into them!
I am scheduled to meet with the surgeon on March 23rd and the Behaviorist the same day. Oh how I wish I could just leap couple weeks in the future and set the date already. I feel like a kid waiting to go downstairs on Christmas morning. I decided to start this blog, because I figure a change this big in my life needs to go down in history as one of the most "legen"...wait for it..."dary" moments of my life. I want to capture the full spectrum of ups and downs and I hope to bring a little light and humor to a very difficult battle. This battle didn't start today; this will be the victory to a long road I have been traveling on for years. That long road of ups and downs both physically and emotionally. I'm ready to finally step off this crazy roller coaster ride and begin to live again. I once rock climbed....I loved to rock climb. In my 20's I said I would complete a sprint triathlon before I die...Well, I say...I'm not dead yet....Until next time.
