Dahlia

You know, I came here looking for some help, info and support. Whenever I have posted I have gotten private messages as well as a few posts that weren't too suportive. I didn't come here to beg money off people or try to scam anyone. I am just a very, very sick fairly young (29) woman who needs help and is desperate to get this life saving surgery. For those who have sent messages... I have worked since I was 13 yrs old, and yes I could prove this in a court of law for all of those who are suspect of everyone. I have put in my taxes every year just like everyone else. I have never been one to ask for anything from anyone let alone a handout. However, when you are very ill and unable to work your whole life changes. Being 29 and basically living like someone 4 or 5 times my age is a horrible way to live. All of that aside...I have found another board where people are actually very nice, and not suspect of everyone who comes along. It seems that so many on here are caught up in being suspicious of others and their motives they don't really take the time to acutally try and help, maybe they just don't really care about much other than their own surgery and what is going on with them. Whatever. To those few who have been nice and written suportive things....THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. Dahlia

In response to what BubbleButt and some others said! 1- Why didn't I leave after I said I was...for two reasons a) a few people nicely sent some private messages and asked that I give the board another shot. And because everyday I come into my email and there is some message sitting there saying a response. 2- I NEVER asked for anyone to GIVE me anything for free or for less than anyone else. I simply asked if anyone knew of any Drs that took payments. I then later asked what people would think of an organization to help those less fortunate. Popular to what you all think I was not talking about myself...before I posted that I found out that I am not able to even undergo surgery myself right now due to some medical issues that I frankly don't feel comfortable disussing on here now. The reason I asked about that kind of organization is because that is what I do. My family feeds the homeless in our area of Los Angeles and does charity work. Brought it up as an idea...I had no idea the kind of flack I would get. And to BubbleButt - yes even though you paid cash you were blessed. Any of us who are blessed enough in life to have a good job, be able to save money, have help from anyone else, or are just plain good with financing are blessed. If you didn't like the wording - sorry. But, you don't know me...you judge by reading a few posts and assume I am asking for a handout. Funny thing is I have never taken a handout in my life, never will. I am not that type of person. I hope that you all know that just because this is ONLY a computer group and not real life...that you can still hurt people. People come onto these online communities looking for help, support and sometiems just a little human contact. If that's a bad thing then fine. I am sure we have all had times in our lives when we have needed someone else to talk to us or help us out emotionally, if you haven't yet...believe me someday you will. I made the mistake of thinking that reaching out on an internet board might help, that was my stupidity. I wish you all luck in whatever you do. ** to any moderator I ask again please remove my account...I am unable to fina a way to do this on the board so far. Dahlia

Thanks - but I tried to find a place to either send a moderator something or to quit my membership but couldn't. Also, I have posted back to this thread like 4 times and my posts don't show - but yet other people's do....so I'm done... to any moderators please remove my membership

Thanks for all the support everyone...or not. Goodbye

Thanks for all the support goodbye

No I have not been on here very long. But, if you are somewhere that all you get is flack and rude private emails, why would you not feel like leaving? And the reason I announced I was leaving is plain and simple. I feel that when people are treated shabily they need to speak up and let those that have spoken rudely or what have you know about it. Also, I wanted to let others know what was going on. And in fact have gotten quite a few private emails saying others have gone through the same on this board and in fact hold back what they want to say on here because of the flamers. A few have said they stay for the info and not for the friendship because people on here can be mean. Now, I am not saying all the people on here are like that - far from it...in fact I think most are probably nice. But, as they say a few really bad apples can spoil a whole bunch. Thanks

I appreciate all the info provided on financing and such. But, everyone keeps sending me emails saying "Try asking a family member or friend". Believe me if anyone I knew was in any position to lend money or give a gift of sugery, I would have already asked. Some of us are not lucky enough to have family with money or good credit. And yet still some of us are not lucky enough to be in a position to have health insurance or that much extra cash in savings. So, if you have gotten the surgery be thankful EVERY DAY that you were one of the lucky ones. Because there are some of us out here who are desperately in need of this type of surgery with no chance to get it anytime soon. Summer

Brandy, Thanks =) yeah the playground comment is true. I don't want to have to leave over this junk...because counting you there have been 4 really, really nice people who have offered suportive and nice comments. I guess I will try and stay, maybe just not post for a while and see what happens. Thanks *hug*

Unfortunately for those of us who have gotten them PMs and nastiness here, it's not just letting people run us off when we have done nothing wrong. Let's face it, most of us have self esteem issues to begin with and when coming to a place that is supposed to be for love and support you are met with suspicious attitudes and nasty comments....it just makes sense to leave because obviously you are not wanted there. Dahlia

I have no health insurance, and have been checking into surgery in Mexico. I would totally do it as I have been researching forever. Problem is I am waiting for SSI to approve or deny my claim *this could take up to 2 years! In the meantime I cannot work not only because of my health but because if I bring in any money I will be disqualified for SSI! I cannot so far get financing as my hubby and I are one year out from a bankcruptcy. So my question is...what is someone like me to do? I know people think this surgery is just plastic surgery or really not needed. But, without going into long details I have 2 medical disorders that have caused this weight gain to begin with...and this is just about my only option according to Doctors. I am soooooo frustrated I could just die! Dahlia

Thanks for all the great suggestions

Thanks so much for the suggestion - I will deffinately contact him and see what they have available...maybe payments or something! Thanks

Wow, some of the things in these posts are very harsh. Again, I NEVER asked for a handout. I was looking for some nice people who are going through similar issues to talk with. Unfortunately it seems that because I asked financial advice about paying for surgery I was viewed as someone looking to take something. Honestly, I know you all think it's funny to post back and make snide comments...but truly I was looking for some outreach and help. And frankly yes at times I do feel sorry for myself...we all do, it's human. I was down in the dumps when I came on here and hoping to find some kind of online community. Funny, you come back with these analyzing, rude comments and none of you know me at all or have made an attempt to get to know me. Pathetic as it might be though, it hurts. And I really hate that I was so looking for some kind of connection that I am sitting here feeling hurt. Stupid I know so please don't send any comments telling me so. I wish everyone luck with their surgeries or their after-care. And for the 3 women who wrote such nice things...I will be emailing you off board. Thanks Dahlia

This is the kind of post that makes me want to leave. You say that my posts seem very odd to you and you put up a smiley face making the crazy gesture. And I was not mad that people couldn't answer questions how I wanted. I was upset by people that wrong private messages that were very rude and accusatory. Also, a post like this doesn't help...thanks

heard of any groups that set up say a charity for other people in need of WLS? I am thinking that if not, maybe I would start one after I finally get my WLS. I mean there are charities out there for every disease known to man, to help with medical costs, all kinds of things. But, I have not been able to find anything like for us Obese people. I think it's something to think about if enough people were interested...it could do a lot to help those in need. Especially people who have been through the hell of Obesity and through the other side. What do you all think? Dahlia

I have posted on here before...and was suprised to get absolutely no responses. I was looking for opinions on a charity for bandsters to donate to that will help a few people a year who otherwise would not be able to get lapband...or to help those who have to have removal. That type of stuff. Just wondering if anyone has ever heard of this being tried or if anyone would ever be interested in being involved in an organization like that? Thanks, Dahlia Haven't gotten my surgery yet - but still haven't totally lost hope.

As for brainstorming with insurance companies...the whole point for a charity like this is because these people are unable to get insurance or healthcare. The charity would also offer counseling and such. But really, it's an idea and obvious that those on here are not affable to it. So please consider this subject dropped.

Amom, I am sorry to hear that you have gotten so much grief. I am so happy that you and your Husband were able to find a needy person and help them. I am also very glad to hear that she is doing well. Please send along my wishes for a speedy and healthy weightloss. I for one am glad to see there are still others out there who care enough to give and help others. It had greatly improved my view of the world until reading some of the posts that you got in reply. I am very saddened that you got that kind of stuff here. Honestly, those attitudes and things are what makes people not give and put the good stuff out there for others...because getting the flack after almost makes it seem not worth it. BUT believe me it is in the long run....you did a good thing, I am sure the person you helped agrees...hang in there. *HUG*z Dahlia

Well, firstly everyone jumps at the financial issue. I am not talking about one or two people paying for someone to have surgery. What I am talking about is opening an actual charity along the lines of "Make a wish" but for bariatric surgery. People can donate anything, even $5 to the cause. Second, I understand that most people on here are having their own surgery and all that. I myself have no insurance and no chance for financing...am trying to save up for self pay. But, there are also a lot of people on here who are years out from their surgeries. Maybe if there were organizations or charities for people like us down the line others wouldn't be having such problems like we are dealing with. But, hey if people are too busy with their own lives and all that no problem. I am not looking to start this today...but just looking for some opinons to see if it would even be worthwile...I think I got the answer. Thanks Dahlia

Ok, well it seems that everyone took it that I was trying to make you all feel guilty! I was in no way trying to do that. I don't see how I possibly could make someone feel guilty for having a medical procedure done to their own body that I myself am trying to have? I was only saying that those of you have been blessed enough to have had the surgery or are going to have it - should really take a minute and be thankful. That is all! I am not sure how that sounds to others - but how it's meant is just how it is said...if I were having my surgery tomorrow I would be taking a minute myself to feel thankful because I know how many others are out there in need. Thanks sorry that I apparently made everyone angry

Cindy, I am so glad for you - and you deserve to have the kudos that go along with hard work!!! I myself have worked since I was 13 and never stopped until this past year when I became very ill. So, I know how hard you worked to put that money away especially after putting yourself through school. Good luck with your band and a big *hug* for the supportive comment Thanks Summer

Of course my intent was not to make anyone who has had the surgery feel guilty. SInce I am in need of the surgery myself that would not make sense. My intent with this post was to respond publically to some private emails I have been getting from people basically saying "suck it up and find a way" I appreciate that where there is a will there is a way, but sometimes there are no means to reach the goal. some of the messages I have received basically were saying that it was "foolish" to let money stand in the way of a great new life! Well, I don't feel it's foolish because being sick is not my fault and having money is a direct result of being ill and out of work. SO, intent was not to hurt anyone or put them on the defensive...sorry you felt that way.