Amanda611

2/18/2012 - Well.....I didn't really think I would ever get here. Since I remember, I have always been on a diet. The earliest time being in 5th grade where I believe I was at least 190 lbs. I would try and fail and try again but could never seem to either lose the weight or keep what weight I lost off. The most successful I had been at dieting was back in 2006 when I lost about 50 lbs. but had gained every bit of that back plus more by the end of the year. So how did I get to deciding on lap band surgery? Well, my co-morbidities as a result of my morbid obesity are spiraling out of control and I had looked into weight loss surgery once before, but felt overwhelmed and under supported at where I went. They seemed cold and "business" like as opposed to explaining my options and offering encouragement at what I wanted to do. I stuck with them anyway, because I didn't think that I had any other options. At the time, my insurance required a 3 month supervised weight loss, but I do not think I was mentally and physically prepared so I ended up stopping the 3 month supervision and just made my mind up that surgery wasn't for me. A year later, after I regained the weight and wanted to have weight loss surgery again, my insurance decided to change on me making it increasingly harder to get approved so once again I made up my mind that surgery wasn't my answer. So fast forward to August, after I was at my heaviest of 450 lbs., and my sister was approved and had Lap Band surgery I felt that it was time to make a change on my own, because if I didn't I was most likely going to have a very young death. My insurance was still stubborn, but I had realized at that point that they had good reason for why they were doing what they were doing. If I couldn't do some of it on my own, how was I going to be successful if I had surgery? That thought resonated into my brain and I begin to lose the weight by myself with Weight Watchers. At the same time, my sister was losing her own weight from lap band surgery and had lost 100 lbs. in the same time it took me to lose 40 lbs. plus. She wasn't really hungry like I was and although she was not able to eat the things I was, she seemed very happy and was succeeding! I will admit I was very jealous of the success she was having, because I was having problems with gaining and losing the same weight because I was SO hungry all the time, but I was SO happy for her too, because for the first time in her life, weight wasn’t controlling her. I wanted to feel that too! It was very hard that I couldn't proceed with any sort of weight loss surgery. I didn't want the surgery for a quick fix, I wanted the surgery to help and aid in losing the weight so I wasn't so hungry all the time and I could get by with eating much smaller portions. That was the trouble I was having in my diets that I tried. I diligently checked my insurance's medical policy on bariatric surgery for what seemed like every week until one day I just stopped making it a regular habit of mine and low and behold, the insurance changed!! So after that point, I felt determined this time and I felt like I could accomplish and beat my weight battle. I knew that I had already changed my eating habits and modified some of my bad behaviors so I knew that lap band surgery was what I wanted to do. I wasn't going to let someone tell me that I was too heavy to have lap band and that I wouldn't succeed on lap band surgery because my sister, who started out only 40 lbs. lighter than me lost 118 lbs. in about 6 months. I researched and researched places and finally found a place only 30 minutes from me called the Illinois Bariatric Center. I decided to go to a seminar which led to my 1st appointment with Dr. McEwen on 2/16/2012. It went fabulous and he felt that because I was already successful on my own that this "tool" would only benefit me in getting the weight off. So now, I have another follow-up appointment on 3/6/2012 with the dietician and I have my psych consult as well. After that, everything will be sent in to BCBS of Illinois for approval or denial. I am already on pins and needles that either I will be denied or they will change their medical policy before I get a chance to be evaluated for approval. It is very stressful but I am trying not to let it bother me and focus on other things. The Doc wants me on a pre-surgery diet and I will do what I have to do to make sure that if I am approved, my surgery will be successful. Plus, it doesn't hurt starting the lap band journey even smaller.