LiveStrong41

Dad's oncologist apt is tomorrow at 10am. I'm a bit nervous because we should find out how much the cancer spread in his lungs. My parents were over my house yesterday, and dad talked to me (on the side) telling me that his lower left side was bothering me. Kidneys maybe? Or, just a strain?
 
No point in guessing as I'll be sure to ask the Dr.
 
For anyone that is reading this, if you read my recent posts, you'll know my 86 yr old awesome dad is in stage 4 of cancer, but has been kicking it's ass for about 20 months now without chemo or pills. I go to all his oncologists apt's because my parents are Castellian (spanish from Spain), and while they have lived in the U.S. over 50 years, they struggle with English sometimes. I'm there to make sure that not a darn thing gets lost in the translation.
 
Oh daddy, if I could just make the pain stay away....

I read a post today that irked me, no it pissed me off. This Texas gal was ready to put her boots on and find her gun….. Hunt her some grammar and spelling police.
 
A fellow bandster said they read a thread where bandsters were criticizing the grammar and spelling of other bandster’s posts. It hurt this bandster so bad that she had steered away from LBT. REALLY…….why?????
 
Does it matter if we don’t use complete sentences or if we spell words wrong?????? Those of you who have a problem with bad grammar and spelling please comment and tell me why it’s so important to you. Cause (oh wait I should say because) I don’t get it.
 
We are all fighting a terrible disease called obesity and one of the side effects of this disease is low self-esteem. We don’t need our brothers & sisters pointing out more of our faults….. We do just fine doing that ourselves.
 
You are wondering why this bothers me….. So many times I hit that POST button and watch my written words appear on a thread and think SH** I spelt that wrong or that doesn’t make any sense hope they get my point. We are here for support in our weight loss journey. We consist of all different people, different education levels, different languages, different everything and we need support.
 
What we don’t need is the grammar and spelling police after us!

In two days I will have been banded four months, and I really really really want to be at a 40lb. loss then.
I'm putting this out there into the Universe, so you know...it will come true
 
I would need to lose 2.5 lbs. in the next two days...man, that would be so sweet!

!
I have been banded a little over two years and so much has happened on this journey! I have learned so much about this band, and I still continue to learn things about having a band. One of my newest experiences was about three weeks ago when I could not get anything to go down and every thing I put into my mouth was getting stuck. I did not know what in the world was going on because I had not gotten a fill in over nine months or maybe longer. I was always told that the band could not readjust itself, but that is so far from the truth from my own personal experiences. I was told the band is a little tighter earlier in the mornings and after lunch I should be able to eat well as long as it was chewed "well"! (not always so true for me)
 
Right before I started experiencing my stuck episodes- I had a really bad sinus infection and I wasn't aware how much post nasal drainage I was having. The drainage caused my esophagus to swell around my upper stomach where the band is connected. The more I tried to eat different foods and vomiting the more irritated and swollen my esophagus around my band area became. I lost a quick 20 pounds in two weeks before I really realized it. I was so focused on the daily stuck episodes and trying to figure out what was going on wrong with my band. Now someone may ask, "Why in the world I didn't see my WLS". Well he had moved 4 1/ hours away and I did not want to make that trip feeling so awful unless I had no other choice. Therefore, I scheduled an appointment with a gastroenterologist and he ordered labs for barium swallow. A day after the barium swallow everything had gone back to normal. Unknown to me all of the post nasal swelling had gone down and my band was back to its appropriate restriction level. If that's the correct way of saying it. I have also learned that a week before my "M" cycle my band appears to be more restricted until my cycle has ended. I have also identified that my band is also more restricted when my body feels stress! These things were something I had to learn due to my life experiences with living with my band. Each person's experiences with their band is not always going to be text book or similar to someone else. Each day I learn a little more about life with a "BAND"! Please know that every single day is not going to be the same. Each person will achieve a different level of success- but it does not mean someone else is a failure compared to others. It only means each banded person is a little different and unique! LOL (learn to work “your band”)
 
Each day I work so hard mentally, emotionally, and physically never to become that same person I left behind two years ago and counting……… I had walked three miles while watching Netflix last night before I had realized how long I had walked. I could not believe it! Two years ago- the old me would have pasted out within the first 15 minutes of walking. That was a big victory for me last night and I now understand how much my weight has held me back from a lot of things.
 
I remember me "then" but I focus on me "now"! I am down a total of 90 pounds and counting.
 
 
 

I have been apart of this site since the end of 2009, and I have read hundreds of post/blogs with members concerns about other people finding out they have a LB! I really didn't know what approached I wanted to taken once I finally had my band. I first prayed and I thought about all the reasons I decided to get the band in the first place. God gave me confirmation not be ashamed of my decisions to live a happier and healthier life. I think most people on this site were in a life or death situation due to weight issues, and they needed help that they were unable to provide for themselves. After taking a wide overview of several members' reasons for not wanting someone else to know they were banded or getting banded was somewhat overwhelming to read. Most people feared others judging their decisions to get help to lose the weight. Okay, lets get real- if we were able to lose the weight and keep it off on our own then we would have done that. However, most of us are able to lose the weight but we have failed to keep the weight off on a long term basis.
 
I have decided in my life time to stop giving people control and credit to decide what is or isn't good for me. Most people who judge our decisions to do something pretty "major" about our weight issues don't have enough courage to confront their own "demons"! I don't care how prefect we may think someone's life is they still have underlined issues that they still need to deal with. I said all of that to say: we owe no one any excuses or explanations for why we decided to get the LB. Baby- I am proud of this little tool inside my body! That's exactly right: it's only a tool to aid and assist each of use with our weight lost goals! Work and a lot of effort must be done on our parts! The LB is not a quick fix card for all of your weight loses problems. Yes- it takes a lot of work and effort (mentally and some physical) to get the results you want.
 
I am very proud of my decision and I will never allow anyone to make me feel guilty or ashamed for having this surgery. To be prefect fully honest: people judged me fat and they judge me now but overall I am happier with the current me! To all of my fellow LB family, please be proud of your choices to live a happier/ healthier life. Just remember that "old person" who experienced so much hurt, pain, and challenges when you were heavier vs., you now. I love the new me and no person is going to ever change the way I feel. I tell them, "don't hate just congratulate my success"!

It is in our human nature to compare one thing to the other. We do it from the time we are kids- remember with siblings- he got more than me thing. We start compairing early.
 
By the time we reach school age we are compairing clothes, looks, ect with our classmates. And you always hear he's/she's not as cute as xyz. Then we begin compairing ourselves to others- her hair is prettier than mine, she has more friends than me, she has nicer clothes, ect. Our self esteems are molded some what by these compairsons.
 
I know for certian mine were. I have always felt like the ugly duckling. I have been large since 5 years old. In school I was picked on and it got worse in middle school. I hated being fat, but all that hate just drove me to the nearest donut, which intern made me fater.
 
Now that I am taking control of my life and have had lapband and am losing weight, the compairsons do not end. Chances are all of us have compared our self to another member of this forum- either boy I am glad I am not them they aren't losing much weight- or - it's not fair she is losing more weight than me. It's just in our nature.
 
I have compared myself to others several times and gotten down and out. Some people are really rocking it.
 
I talked to my nutritionist about this and she had some great throughts.
1- Body weight percentage has to been taken into account- those with more to lose will lose quicker.
2- Life style - some people have jobs that are more active than others and we can't control that- most of us need to work and have to do what we do. Some people can't due to health reason work out where others can.
3- Muscle mass- some people scale wise appear to not be losing, but are losing fat because they are working out and building muscle that weighes more than fat- this is a great thing because the more muscle you have the more fat your burn.
4- responsiblity- it is sometimes our own fault when we aren't losing- we CHOOSE to eat high calorie foods that just slide down, we CHOOSE not to be active, we CHOOSE not to follow doctors orders
 
This conversation with my nutritionist made me feel better. She said that when I compair myself to another person I need to look at these things. If I am doing everything I am suppose to do then I have no need to belittle myself. The bottom line is at the end of each month the scale trend in going down, therefore I am successful for me!
 
I hope that I can stop compairing myself to others, but if I happen to I will take these things into account before I let the bad thoughts drive me to a mouth full of krispy creme.

I went for a possible fill today, and I didn't get one. The Nurse asked me if I was eating meats, and I told her that I really wasn't because I was afraid of getting stuck. I explained how scrambeled eggs got me stuck the 1st time for breakfast. She suggested I stick with yogurt in the morning as our stomachs are typically a little more swollen in the morning so it's much easier to get things stuck then. Hum, I didn't know that. I mean I read that some people couldn't eat breakfast, but didn't understand why. So, now I know.
 
I'll try to have yogurt with strawberries or something from now on in the mornings. She said if I can eat meats (chicken, beef, turkey or pork) that aren't dry, and eat every 3 hours or so, that I should be in a good place. Sometimes our bodies change & I might need another fill down the road, but I could be OK. I told her I baked burgers last night (not fried or grilled), and they came out OK. I added a little honey mustard for flavor & so it wouldn't be dry. Got it down OK, so I think I'm in a good place...
 
I lost 5 pds, and she was only expecting 1 1/2 or 2 pds, so I guess thats good.
 
So, there you have it... no more eggs for breakfast for me...

It has been a while since I logged in here. But Almost 3 years later I am 6 pounds from goal weight of 140 and I have lost 100 pounds! I lost 68lbs in first year and 20 lbs each year thereafter. I have not worked out so would have been faster if I did that! But went to see Dr Rantis today and band position looks good! I have a 10cc band and it is filled to 5.25ccs and no more restriction needed! I am a size 6 and it feels great! Foods that have been eliminated from diet are Soda and Soft Bread. Everything else is eaten on strict portion control! This has been the best decision I have ever made! I have had no health or complication issues and blood work keeps coming back good. I am starting a home workout routing - Jullian Michaels Body Revolution to tone up. I have the occasional times that I eat too fast or dont chew enough and I get stuck but I have managed that pretty well by now. So for now, I am very happy and hope to reach my goal weight very soon and get back into shape!

Banded life can be some what of a roller coaster ride. We all get upset when someone says we took the easy way out, I'd like to see them try it! It's true you never understand until you walk a mile in there shoes. At almost 4 months out I have walked several of those miles and not all have been easy.
 
For a week after surgery I though oh, heck what did I do. I felt like crap, I hurt, I was hungry, I was miserable. Then as the healing got going I started to feel better. Then I started to see results- weight loss- and it made it all worth it.
 
I have had 4 fills now and know I am getting tighter. To begin with I was just watching my calories and staying below 1200 even if I felt hungry. Now the hunger is less of a problem except certain times of day. I am able to drink more and get my protein in, plus exercise.
 
Since my last fill I experieced the dreaded "STUCK" moment. Before the food even got to my band I knew I had screwed up- I swallowed before I had chewed enough - MISTAKE. Lets just say that certainly gave me a good reminder to CHEW!! Most bandsters have experienced this moment and it's the ugly one- you feel like your chest will explode. You want to puke, but you can't, you want to wash it down, but you can't. You are almost foaming at the mouth with spit- not pretty or fun.
 
Some foods I use to love, now just don't love me. Breadsticks for instance - I LOVED them- now I just can't do it without putting my band at risk. I don't know about you, but I don't really enjoy surgery and the thought of having to have my band fixed because I ate the wrong things and made it slip just isn't going to happen. That breadstick doesn't taste that good. Most other things I can still eat, but it's a question of should I. Things like ice cream and cheese cake - while my band will allow them down, my calorie count really doesn't. Does this mean I will never partake in these again, probally not. I think I will allow myself one SMALL slice of cheese cake once a year on my wedding anniversary because that is what we had for our wedding cake. However, I may do an hour on the elliptical to compensate.
 
As most people who have been banded figure out quickly, weight lose can be painfully slow at times. This makes it easy to get discouraged, but when you look at the big picture, when was the last time you lost 35 lbs in 3 months.
 
The band doesn't do it all for me. I still must choose the right foods - healthy. I must choose not to eat or drink empty calories. For me I choose to count calories, which has helped me a lot. This helps me make sure I don't go over and that I am staying in the "lose" zone. I think my counting calories with myfitnesspal will help me with my long term success. With counting I must be accountable each day not just when I get on a scale.
 
The Good part of the band is-- I am losing weight, I am not crazy hungry, I feel good, I am looking better, I am becoming the me I always wanted to be! For the 1st time in my over weight life I have hope and confidence that this weight will come off and I will one day be a healthy weight. So to be the bad and ugly times are far out weighed by the Good!!

I thought I'd update, work and life have been busy,
I think the last time I blogged here was right after my first fill, and I have my 2nd one in five more days.
 
I've lost 34 lbs. since my surgery at the end of June.
My struggle with exercise is an on-going thing, I just can't get myself to just do it.
 
Eating is easier as in I don't do a lot of it, I don't think about it much and when I do it's because I have to go out to eat.
That has always been the hardest for me, making good choices when I'm looking at a menu and then at other people's plates is HARD, but I'm doing it.
Last week at a birthday dinner I had a salad...actually it was lettuce and dressing...because everything else on the menu was not for me. Everyone else enjoyed the family style feast of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, BBQ chicken, baked beans, buttery green beans, chicken fried steak and biscuits...that was like my own version of hell for about two hours, but I did not put a single "bad" thing into my mouth.
While everyone left there stuffed and feeling gross, I left with a happy tummy and a happy heart.
 
When I got home I had a little grilled chicken, and it tasted amazing.
 
Another victory...I'm thankful.

I made it somewhere I thought I would never be again, and saw a number I thought I'd never see at the beginning of my weight.
ONE!!! I made it to ONEderland this morning, and even though I expected it to be there since I was 201 yesterday it still shocked me...I carefully stepped off the scale, grabbed my phone, stepped back on and snapped a picture.
I am so proud of this picture, it's like a badge of honor.
I did it, and I am so thankful!

When I think of diet I think rules & restrictions. You have to eat this; you can’t eat that, you have to drink this; you can’t drink that, etc…. Doctor’s orders are diets, rules that we have to follow. Now the rebellious teenager in me (I know shocking right?!) says “What do you mean I can’t, watch me!”
 
When I think of a lifestyle I think choices, things I want and am willing to try. Lifestyle means changing the way you live for the rest of your life. The level headed adult in me (again, shocking!) says, “I want to change and live a healthier lifestyle”.
 
So what works in my head is I am not on a diet because I have changed my lifestyle. I follow the recommendations (orders) from my doctor and therefore I see success.
 
My new lifestyle does not restrict me for eating the things I love. I have chocolate, cookies, cakes, breads, pasta, potatoes when I want. I enjoy family gatherings (well most of them). I enjoy my new life.
 
This is what works for me!

Tomorrow marks 1 year since I started my journey. Oct 12, 2011 was the day I walked into my Surgeon's office and introduced myself and told him I was ready to make a change and a life long commitment to myself. I had at this point been researching the band for about 6 months off and on and had attended an informational seminar a month earlier. That day I was weighed in at 488lbs and they took all sorts of measurements and pictures along with a thorough physical. They sent me on my way with no promises of surgery until I met all the requirements and criteria. One of those requirements was to lose minimum 5% of my weight. They explained the need to shrink the liver for a safe surgery.
 
I hit that 5% goal which was 24lbs in less then two months. Weight Center was surprised and impressed but I told them that losing is not hard. Keeping it off is hard.
 
I was also given a laundry list of testing that had to be done along with meeting a 3rd party Doctor who had to clear me for the surgery. Also on that day I met with the in-house Nutritionist and was given a pre-op diet to follow along with a schedule for Nutrition classes. It was at that appointment they confirmed I needed to complete a 6 month mandatory monitored diet due to insurance policy.
 
November 28, 2011 the first Monday after Thanksgiving I spent a good chunk of the day at the hospital for the following tests
Upper GI
Abdominal ultrasound
Cardiac Echo
Chest X-ray
EKG
Blood work

On December 1, 2011 I returned to the office for a Psychological Evaluation and another follow up with the Nutritionist.
 
Between January 9, 2012 and February 13 I attended a 6 session (we met once a week) class called the Hungry Head. Hungry Head program is to help one distinguish the differences between head hunger and real hunger and to develop skills to manage urges to over-eat. This class also allowed me to meet my mandatory requirement of attending 6 pro-op Support Meetings. I found this class to be an eye opening experience and it really allowed me to take a long honest look at myself. I was a binge eater. I would plan binges. I would go to the store on the way home from work and buy soda, cheese its and ice cream. I would finish a meal and wonder when and what my next meal would be. Eating in front of t.v. was just plain bad for me.
 
 

I am the one in the Patriots shirt standing with my Dad. We were just wrapping up a fishing trip. This picture was taken in August of 2011. I have no real idea how much I weighed in this picture but it was taken two months before my consult appointment in October. So if I wasn't 488 here I was darn close.
 

This is a more recent picture. Weighing 364lbs down 124lbs.
 
I seems like it took forever to get to Surgery day but wow what a fast year it has been. It was well worth it..wait strike that! I am worth it and I would do this again in heartbeat. Even at 364lbs I have a new lease on life and it can only get better from here.
 
If you read this far I thank you i know I tend to ramble. I will close with a quote posted by Chris Powell from ABC's Extreme Makeover: Weight loss Edition
 
"You will never change your life until you change something you do daily". - John Maxwell
 
Words to live by and I'm still trying....

I have learned that the weight loss journey is very personal. Yes, we can glean support and some answers from people on this sight, but what works for them may not be for you.
 
Each of us has our own issues with food that lead to us becoming obese and each must deal with those issues inside of us. That is so hard, especially if those issues have been there for many years.
 
We can go through all the psych evals in the world, but nothing will prepare us for the journey - the ups and downs. It's human nature to compare ourselves to others, so then the question and frustration start - well so and so lost dat-ta-dat in 3 months why haven't I.
 
Weight loss is dependant on so many things and I have studied and googled every thing I can to learn. Basically what I have learn is what I have always known in order to lose weight I must have a calorie deficit. That being said I never really knew how many calories I needed a day. Through research I found that you need to know your BMR- they amount of calories you would burn if you just stayed in the bed all day long. I always make sure my calories are below my BMR. But because the BMR is based on your height, age, weight each persons will be different.
 
So I have started to look more at me, not everyone else. I have stopped compairing myself with others. I look to me, what me I do, what must KIM do to succeed. I am the only one who can be successful for me, I must take responsiblity for my actions or lack there of. If I fail, I fail- not my doctor, not this site, not my nutritionist, but me because I failed to take responsibility for me.
 
So today I take resposibility for myself and I will be accountable for what I do or don't do. I will celebrate my success and I will look at my failures as a learning tool.
 
Support is awesome, but we must look at ourselves and into ourselves to make the changes we must to be succesful on this journey!
 
I wish you success on your Journey and I hope that I can help you on your road.

Despite my current cold I seem to have I am feeling healthy. I am not sure if it's the weight loss, my state of mind, the vitamins I am on or what, but I am looking and feeling healthier.
 
I've lost 37 lbs in 3.5 months I am working out more, taking vitamins and eating better.
 
My hair is shiny and soft - my curls are fluffy and pretty. My skin is clearning up, obviously I am smaller because I am wearing smaller clothes. My nails look healthier. All in all I look different not just in size. It's nice to start feeling better about myself again.
 
I am only about half way to my goal, but seeing these signs of health are motivating. I want to be healthy and I would like to be pretty to.
 
I have always been the big girl who wanted to fade into the back ground in my personal life, in work I am more of a go getter. I do a lot of traning and talking in front of large groups and that doesn't bother me because I am talking about something I know well. Now work is changing we are switching up databases so I must learn an entire new system and train my staff on it. While I am nervous, I am always up for a challenge at work, so why was I so worried about the challenge in my personal life.
 
This weightloss is a challange. I am having to say no to things I would have once said yes to. I am having to choose to eat better things and less of it. I have finally gotten it through my thick skull that a calorie is a calorie no matter if it's from salad or steak.
 
I am becoming more of a balanced person, I feel accountable and in control of my work life and my personal life and what a great feeling that is. There are days and even weeks where I get discouraged and down, but I have great friends and family who are ready to pick me up and cheer me foward until I can get the wind back in my sail again.
 
Thanks to those of you out there who have been the wind in my sail a few times when I've been down. I hope I can return the favor one day.

I have heard people call lapband life numerous things - diet, life style change, easy, hard, ect. I think most people who have had lapband would say lapband is not easy, but is it horrible NO! For me this isn't a diet and not exactly a life style change it is a change in state of mind.
 
Before I never really thought about what I was putting in my mouth. My only thought was this is going to taste good or I want it. Now I think about how good or bad what I am eating is for me and am I hungry. Before it was never really about being hungry, I didn't realize that until now, it was about avalibility and desire. As a kid I grew up on a farm when we went in for lunch we were told to clean our plate because we wouldn't have food avalible later so you ate it no matter if you were hungry or not. Maybe that was where my food issues began, maybe not, regardless the issue began. Now I must change my state of mind.
 
I am the worlds best at excuses and justification. I can argue forever on why I can't exercise tonight or justify why I deserve a cupcake. However, I must switch that up. I need to justify why I need to exercise and make excuses why I can't eat that cupcake. Thank the Lord, I have an amazing support system in my husband. When I want to make excuses to not exercise he kicks my butt in gear because he loves me and wants me to be successful, for me. I am changing my state of mind where food and excercise come in.
 
While I am 31 I am an old fashion southern girl and life always revolved around food and sweet tea. I have to change that state of mind - no more fried chicken, no more sugar sweet tea. That doesn't mean I won't ever have it again, but it will not be on the regular rotation that is was at one time.
 
For years I have worked where you eat quick or you may not eat. I learned to eat quickly. Now my band has taught me to eat slow, if I don't it hurts. I chew, chew, chew instead of swollowing whole. My state of mind has changed.
 
Since June 22nd when I received my band my whole state of mind has changed. I always wanted to be sucessful with this, but worried I wouldn't be because of my old state of mind. Now that my state of mind has changed and continues to evolve the more I become sure that I will be successful, not because my weight is going down, not because I opted to diet, not because I work out but because of my state of mind.
 
I am proud of my weightloss yes, but I am more proud of the change of my state of mind because I developed my old ways over 31 years, but now I am evolving and my state of mind changing for the healthier. I completely feel better, not just physcially, but mentally and emotionally to. It's not just the confindence that I have now, but the the clear head, the lower stress, the comfort. I feel better because I am not over eating and miserable after a meal.
 
The Lapband State of Mind is pretty darn good!! Hope you will join me in the Lapband State of Mind

Well I'll have you all know, I was in bed, found a comfy spot to lay in (hard to do these days with 5 incisions) and all but asleep when I keep feeling this nagging sensation for not writing my blog tonight. One of the main reasons I started this blog was to give me something to be accountable for. If I had to blog once a week (at least) and update whomever reads this on my progress then I would be less likely to cheat or fall of the band wagon...ha ha, you get my joke? So I drug my butt out of bed, fired up the computer and now here I am.
 
It is hard to believe that it was only a week ago today that I was having my very first surgery and that at this time last week I was in a drug induced stupor off in dream land. I've read many postings on the LBT website I am a member of for fellow lap banders, that many people had a "what have I done," moment. I can honestly say as hungry as I have been over the past week, I have never had that moment. I am very excited that I can honestly say I've had the surgery and I am on the path of weight loss. Yes I know it will be a lot of hard work with controlling my diet and exercising but I am really looking forward to it. And I think having the lap band will be the perfect tool to help me reach my goals.
 
I am just ready to be off restriction for diet and exercise so I can come up with my "real" world plan. I have been looking at the class schedules at 24 Hour Fitness coming up with a plan for which classes I am going to take when. I would ideally like to do at least 2 classes a week of weight training and cardio at least 5 times a week. Once I can start going to these classes and working out I know that it will become second nature and of course seeing the results will be extra motivation to keep going too.
 
Right now I am on the second week of my post op diet which consists of my protein shakes and thicker soups such as tomato soup. Last week was just pure broth which was harder than I thought it would be. I had read that a lot of people were not hungry the days following surgery. Well this fat girl wasn't one of those lucky ones. Staying awake long enough last week to sip my water and protein shakes was tough since the pain meds knocked me out pretty good, however when I was awake I was definitely hungry. And since I was only drinking liquids which go right through my band I had a very limited window of that "full" feeling. I do enjoy that only about a cup of liquid makes me "full."
 
I am also working out my plan for when I can return to normal food in about 2 more weeks. There is a place here in Houston and also Dallas called My Fit Foods, (www.myfitfoods.com) I have had their meals on several occasions. They are low fat, high protein meals that are aimed at people who are as I call "label aware," and looking for fast but yummy healthy food options. Only down side is that they are on the other side of town, but I can trek over there on Sunday's and prepare for the week. They have several options, low carb, gluten free, etc. I plan on getting their small portion, which is 3 oz of protein for my lunches. I am one of those people that if I have to prepare a lot in advance I will eventually stop doing it. Or I will wait until I am ravenously hungry and be miserable. They are pretty affordable ranging from $6-$8 a meal which is cheaper than eating out somewhere and I believe the portions are small enough that I wont be wasting a lot of food. They have a lot of chicken, fish, and turkey options which will be nice. I still plan on having a protein shake for breakfast and just protein and veggies for dinner.
 
I would update you on my scale progress, but I have refused to get on the damn thing since Saturday. I was very frustrated that after having weight loss surgery (WLS) that from the time I went in the operating room until I came out I managed to find 6 lbs. I know that this is from the fluids and bloating my body has gone through from surgery. But it was a little frustrating. My nurse practitioner told me this was normal and that I would see results soon. She also pointed out that I was losing visceral fat and that my clothes probably fit better. At this point I wasn't wearing much but yoga pants and t-shirts so I wouldn't know. Saturday I got dressed and my tightest pair of jean shorts fit considerably better, even were a little loose. And I was able to comfortably wear a shirt I hadn't worn in 2 years. It wasn't too tight anywhere and managed to cover what I wanted it to. So small victories. I had said I would weigh on Tuesdays but I think I am going to push that to Wednesday or Thursdays. I'll let you all know. My surgeon's office also has a support group once a month, I am not really sure what to expect from it, but I believe I will go. Any tips and advice from people going through this with me might be helpful. That will be this Wednesday. I would be lying to say that I am not scared **** less that I will not lose any weight. Although I have bitched and complained a fair amount, I have managed to stick to my diet so I know that I will lose the weight. I also think I have an outline for success with my food and exercise plans. I just have to be patient (gasp!) and let my body work its magic. I cannot fail! My mini goal is to see -20 lbs by my post-op appointment on 10/9.
 
I managed to get to work today and I will say it was odd to be back there, I kinda enjoyed being off for a week. I was so worried that the world would end without me for a week but they all survived. I had my shake for breakfast and managed to drink some water. About 10:00 a.m. I started feeling really tired and out of it and my incisions were starting to really bother me. I didn't take my pain meds because I didn't want to fall asleep at my desk, so I was only taking Advil. I made it until about 12:30 before I threw in the towel and packed it in and went home. When I got home I did notice I was really pale and my cheeks were flushed. So tomorrow I will be taking a half dose of pain meds about 9:00 to see if that doesn't help me make it the entire day.
 
So anyways, this is a long ramble and I do need to get to sleep. Big party at work tomorrow with lots of vendors and customers so I have to be on my game. Maybe the pain meds will help drown my anxiety about not being successful with a weight loss.
 
 
Until tomorrow,
 
Amanda

It is so true the title of this. Rewards are just as important as goals. Goals are nice but being rewarded and allowing yourself to live a little is what life is all about. Remember to have fun while you're on this journey and not focus too much on the numbers. I think I finally broke my scale habit. I haven't been on it in 5 days now. I will weigh in on Monday.
 
My Wife and I just booked a couple of nights stay at The Jewel at Rockefeller Center early December. I have never been to NYC in my life. I've traveled through up state a lot and have been to Cooperstown Baseball Hall of Fame but never the big city.
 
I have a long way to go in my weight loss journey but now I have a goal to lose as much as I can before this trip. This is not only a goal but also a reward. I have finally dropped enough where I can easily walk a mile without getting to tired. My Wife has been wanting to go every year since we've been married so now I can finally take her.
 
I haven't been this excited since our Disney trip in 2006 when I proposed in the Rose Garden at Magic Kingdom.

So today was a very productive day for me....
 
Did all blood work, Had pre-op check up and all is good...
 
PAID IN FULL (out of pocket, no insurance in covers this procedure in Canada unfortunately).....so now there's no turning back cause the money is non-refundable. 2 weeks off from work, check.....
 
I also went to Walmart, did some shopping, thanks to you wonderful people on this site, I think I am going to be well prepared lol.... Got my heating pad, my soft plush...and supportive sitting up pillow, have no idea what they are called...loose clothing for the day of (hoping this will be the last plus size clothes I will ever purchase again), pain meds, gas meds... and over the wknd, will be going to Costco to stock up on shakes, broth and Greek yogurt. So grateful for your tips....I'm hoping all goes smooth sailing.
 
So now, just waiting for the 28th.....I am nervous as heck, but excited as well.....
 
BUT MAJOR THANKS TO YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE ON THIS SITE...WITHOUT YOUR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT, I THINK I WOULD HAVE CHICKENED OUT AGAIN LIKE 2YRS AGO....I HAVE THE SUPPORT OF 1 INDIVIDUAL IN MY FAM, THE REST ALL HAVE NEG. THOUGHTS WHEN I FIRST MENTIONED IT, SO THIS TIME AROUND DID NOT EVEN BOTHER TELLING THEM.....SO MY FULL SUPPORT SYSTEM HAVE BEEN YOU GUYS........SO GRATEFUL FOR THIS SITE AND ALL OF YOU!!!

How truly excited am I to begin this new chapter of my life? There are no true words to describe it.
 
I find myself standing in a visible cross roads, tomorrow I cross to the right path. I decided for once that I was going to take a stand and truly take control of my life and health, and that no longer will I make or allow excuses for myself. I never remember myself being thin, since I was a small child I was nagged about my weight. When have I worn a single digit dress size? well that's easy, never. At 29, I decided enough is enough and decided to jump head first into this expirience. I am putting myself first for once.
 
So now I am writing my first blog entry on the eve of my surgery. I am so excited, yes there are nerves and questions on what to expect but what is the most amazing its the incredible level of hope.
 
Hope that I can do this,
Hope that I will be able to live a rewarding and fulfilling life,
Hope that it brings a bucketload of blessings and opportunities
 
 
Once my mind was made up, I went for it. The entire process for me from seminar to surgery has been 6 weeks. My job gave me amazing insurance that did not require a 6-month diet; a primary physician that did everything in his power to get me this help; friends and family that have demonstrated a sheer level of love and support that I did not think it was possible.
 
And here I am, 14 days into my pre-op liquid diet, hungry, cranky but sooooooo happy. The diet was the hardest thing I have done so far, I was so strict and on point. Imagine this I spent 10 of those days vacationing in Puerto Rico and I could not drink or eat anything I wanted while every one else indulged. I never cheated, not once because I knew how important this is for me. What was the result of the effort? I have lost an amazing 20 pounds and I can't even believe it.
 
Tomorrow I get banded and I will treasure the beginning of my new life.
 
Good luck to everyone on their journey and I hope that in whatever comes next just keep that initial hope. I know I will :-)

I was rereading my food list for phase 4 and saw Soy Chips. I bought cheddar cheese ones last night at Whole Foods and they are great! They have protein in them. I had some for lunch with some lump crab and loved it.
I am always looking for new foods to try. Tonight I am trying for the first time pork. I hope it's not too tough to chew-chew-chew.

I haven't written in a while so.....What or who is an experienced Bandster? At nearly 6 months post op apparently, not I even though I have dropped 81lbs. Being an experienced Bandster is not all about weight loss....
 
This morning on the way to the Office I stopped at Dunkin Donuts for a sausage, egg and cheese wake up wrap and a large decaf coffee. I don't drink with my meal but I wanted to have it for when I got into the office. Well without thinking much about it I proceeded to head to work on the freeway and ate my wrap. Not paying attention I ate it too quickly. Stuck episode on the freeway in traffic is not fun by any means. I ended up pulling over to the side of the road and got out and paced back in forth for about 15 minutes until it passed.
 
With my last fill I am definitely in my sweet spot. I can eat almost anything if I do it correctly. Correctly seems to be a problem still. I am eating the right things for the most part but I am still eating too quickly and not chewing enough. I have spent my entire life eating junk food and binging at times and just shoving it in. I never thought learning to eat properly with the band would be this difficult.
 
I have had probably about 7 or 8 stuck episodes since being banded in April. One episode led to (and sorry for the tmi) vomiting.
 
So a couple of things are going to happen here. I am either going to get this straight and follow proper band rules or I am going to cause a slip.
 
Next week I have another support meeting and I am going to sign up and re-take the hungry head class again. That class focus on binge eating and eating habits. I don't think I need the hungry head class as far as binging but I think being around people and talking about experiences will help me keep focus. My next Doc appointment follow up is 9/25. I am not getting a fill. I am still getting the needed "restriction" from the fill last week.
 
In my opinion and I have said it before the word "restriction" sucks when it comes to band talk/terminology. It's not about restricting at all it's all about appetite suppression and satiety. I got that going on right now, no question about it. Now if I can only learn how to eat properly.
 
I also know my band is tighter in the morning. From now on protein shakes only in the morning even if I am running late.
 
 
***

Well.................... a very deep subject. So my fellow bandsters, new found cyber friends I want to share my success with you and help you to understand that this process is possible but you have to jump in with both feet and be 100% committed to this process. So I will go back to the beginning. High my name is Diane and 2 years ago I was morbidly obese. I used food as a coping mechanism for every aspect of my life. I ate when I was happy, I ate when I was sad, I ate when I was stressed and i would even eat and lie to myself about the fact that I ate. (Sound familiar) Well one day, I not only had to take a long hard look in the mirror but I had to recognize that my body was no longer coping well with the extra weight on my 5'1" frame. I weighed 252 lbs at my heaviest(Check out my profile, I was very "FAT" there is no other word to describe me. Oh yes I did have a "NICE" smile, still do but now I have cheek bones) I like many of you had tried many WL options from fad diets to Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig and also like many of you I FAILED! Notice I said "I" failed. You see all of those "DIETS" worked but what I failed to do was truly embrace the changes that were needed in my life, the changes that I needed to be successful. But I now believe I had to fail in order to succeed. I see myself just like any addict, I had to hit rock bottom before I truly could commit myself to changing my life. When I started on this site I chose to pick a name that I could grow to love, a.k.a. my user name LovetheNewMe. The other decision I made when I signed onto this site was to be honest and give back as much as I was taking away. I like many of you read and sat in the back ground for many weeks and tried to learn, not only from the successful but also from the struggles.
 
If I could pick three things that have made me successful I would have to say they are "Me, Myself and I" I am sorry to burst anyone's bubble but the Lapband is not why I lost weight, I lost weight because I have learned how to eat and I have learned what a portion is and I have learned that you get out of this what you put into it. If you sit on your butt and expect the weight to fall off, or have your band so tight that you can only drink liquids or puck back half of everything you eat, YES you can lose weight but YOU will not keep it off. You have to embrace the concept of the band, the band does not prevent you from eating the junk food, actually the band encourages you to eat junk food. I know your all thinking this women is flippin crazy. But think about it, when your band is tight and protein will not go down what do you lean toward. SLIDERS! Foods that are high in calories and low in nutritional value. I have read over and over on this blog that people had the surgery so they would not have to count calories, track their food or exercise. Well good luck to all of them because I know me, I am the queen of manipulation and I was real good at telling me that it was OK to eat the fast food on the way home from work and still eat dinner because no one saw me eat it but LITTLE olé me, myself and I. So, what is my point...
 
You have to embrace a healthy life style and you have to remember that what you lose you can always gain back if you do not embrace a healthy life style. It really is true, You are what You EAT!. You have to learn to eat like a thin person and think like a thin person to be a thin person. I am still in the phase of my journey that I am a thin person but there is still a FAT girl living inside me that still struggles to get out some days. I am determined that the "FAT" girl in me is gone forever. I keep pictures of me at my heaviest in plain site, in my house and office. I do not want to ever forget how far I have gone. Just looking in the mirror does not always do it for me, a picture is worth a thousand words. Yes I have reached my ideal body weight, Yes I have dropped from a size 24 to a size 4 (no that is not a type "O") I still log my food every day, I still weight and measure my food, I eat off a small plate, I lay my fork down between bites, I do not drink with meals 30 min before or 30 min after meals, I do not graze, I do not eat unplanned snacks, I do not succumb to peer pressure and I DO exercise 4-5 days per week.
 
The best advice I can give any bandster is:
Follow the rules
 
Keep in touch with your WL Surgeon
 
Drink Water
 
Exercise
 
Set realistic goals (Boys and Girls we did not get FAT over night and you are not going to get thin over night. To lose weight you have to decrease your intake and increase your activity. Your body is a living, breathing machine and you to have burn calories to lose weight and the only way I know how to do this is to exercise. It still takes 3500 calories less than your body needs a week to lose one pound per week. That calculates out to 500 calories less per day than your body burns. You have to learn what your body needs just to maintain your current weight. There is a very narrow balance between what you need and not eating to little. If you eat to little your body will think you are starving and eventually stop losing weight.)
 
Learn to eat healthy( The reason you have to do this is because of rule #5)
 
And last and the most important, EAT YOUR PROTEIN. (It has been proven that bandsters that heat 70gms or more protein are more successful with weight loss) Protein make you feel fuller longer and takes longer to digest thus decreasing your desire to eat.
 
And last bit of advice and probably the most important; Learn to love your self, believe in your self and know that you can do this. Anything is possible with hard work and dedication.

So here is the old me beside the new me.
 

 
 
Good luck to all of you who are just startng or those of you who are struggling. If you are struggling, forgive your self and move forward, if you are just starting or thinking about LBS, know you are going to have to work hard because this is a Life Style Change and just having the surgery and the band does not mean you will lose weight.
 
LovetheNewMe

Did I mention it took place in the shower? So tonight while showering together my daughter mentioned to me that she sometimes sneaks out of bed at night and notices her other parent sneaking a smoke on the terrace. This led to a conversation about why people smoke and why people sneak. At 7 she understands that smoking is an addiction and that many people, despite wanting to stop, just can't find the willpower to do so. In order to curb her disdain, I pointed out that we all are working on things about ourselves, trying to be better. Next thing I know this conversation I had been dreading for months was just happening. Naked. But happening.
 
I explained that I was working on losing weight because I wanted to be healthier and have more energy. I explained how when we eat too much, our bodies store the extra as fat. And as far as I was concerned, I had more fat stored than I would ever need. Bless her cute little self, she screwed up her little face in an expression of confusion, looked me up and down, and said, "where?"
 
"Well, here, and here..." I replied pointing out my belly, my butt. She then asked me to turn around, which I did, but definitely starting to think this was spiralling out of control. "You look pretty", she replied, to which I said, "Oh my god I have to clone you"...No I didn't say that, but I thought it. So I went on to explain that for me, carrying around all the extra weight was like her having to carry her backpack when it had too much stuff in it. We recalled the times she didnt want to run an errand after school because she just had too much stuff in her backpack. So far so good.
 
That's where we hit a wall. Because my daughter is a skinny girl. She's never hungry. I wake up ravenous. Se smells food and it usually smells "gross". I smell food when I'm not hungry and suddenly I AM hungry. She forces herself to eat because she "wants to get this meal done already" whereas I...well you get the picture. So her response was, "just eat less". I explained to her that I was trying, but that I was having a hard time eating as little as I needed to because heavier people are often hungrier than other people. I went on to tell her that there was an operation that I could have that could make my stomach smaller and then I would be less hungry.
 
Silence in the shower.
 
Then she said this, "I'm glad I'm skinny because I would hate to have to have an operation". This was my fear. So of course we talked about exercise and portions and healthy eating and I pointed out all the ways that she was really good at that. I noticed and praised how she doesnt eat when she's not hungry and how she knows she's gotta get her protein in first, and how good she is at knowing when she's had enough. (she is a master at having a few bites of ice cream and leaving the rest). And by then it was time to dry off and read a story and I told her how excited I was because I was about to try something new. I explained how excited I was to be able to bike and run and walk and explore more with her.
 
I didn't tell her that I am also excited to model healthy eating for her. I hope she keeps her healthy eating habits. Someday I'd like to take her out for ice cream and BOTH of us can eat a few bites and leave the rest.

I had my pre-op today...everything went well. First, at the doctor's office, I had to blow 3 times in a tube to measure the air in my lungs. Then, I met with the doctor and went over everything. He's super nice! Then, the nurse took my before pictures! After that appointment, I went to the hospital for my pre-op. the nurse took 2 tubes of blood, blood pressure, height, weight, and went over paperwork and consent forms. Everything is all set...next Tuesday is the BIG day!