LiveStrong41

i often get asked how do you stay so focused and positive. The answer easy, I look in the mirror every morning and I love what I see, I stand on the scales and I love what I see, I get to go shopping and wear pretty much anything I want! So I ask Why would I not stay focused and positive when this process has worked so well for me? Has it been easy NO!!! but what is worth achieving with out hard work and dedication? I will tell you something that has helped me and that is my positive outlook and commitment to this process. I have learned from both my positive experiences and my negative experiences. I have learned that I am far from perfect and can learn from everyone, even the ones who are struggling. I am just Polly Anna enough to believe that anything worth achieving is worth working hard for and I also believe that most people are good. Now I have been burnt a couple of times in my life but this does not prevent me from still believing in people.
 
So I share with you this morning some positive affirmations for a healthy happy weight loss journey.
 
I write them on my mirror, I post them in my office and on my refrigerator and share them with my friends.
 
This is my trick for staying focused and realizing my dream of a thinner, healthier me.
 
 
 
A list of positive Affirmations for Weight Loss

I achieve my weight loss goals
Losing weight comes naturally to me
I choose nourishing, healthy foods
I think before eating
I drink lots of water
Losing weight is fun
Healthy foods taste better
I am motivated by both successes and failures
I accept and love my body as it is, and work to make it better
I love challenges and embrace them
I lose weight systematically and I keep it off permanently
I am losing weight
I exercise because it makes me feel good
I respect my body and treat it with respect
I do everything I need to do to achieve my healthy weight
I am encouraged by every success
I am motivated by every shortfall
Losing weight and I are one
I dissolve all blocks to reaching a healthy weight
I forgive myself
I learn from my mistakes
I fill all physical appetites in physically healthy ways
I am aware of my eating habits and how they affect my weight
I am willing to change my eating habits and I do so easily
I build lean muscle and I lose fat
I enjoy the process of reaching a healthy weight
I see myself at my healthy weight and I achieve it
I have non-stop daily determination to reach my healthy weight
I like long walks
It is easy for me to stay on my plan to obtain my healthy weight
I picture myself at my perfect weight
I have a positive attitude about what I eat, how I eat, and when I eat
My body burns fat like a furnace
Developing healthy eating habits becomes easier each day
I stay on a healthy eating plan and maintain my healthy weight easily
Each day, I automatically and successfully get healthier and healthier

 

Happy Sunday all and wishing you continued success to achieving your goals!

I've been a blog-hoppin fool the past few days... and wow, I've just learned so much. You know, after years of Weight Watchers & other yo-yo dieting, you get to a point where you feel like you just really do know it all. We don't, of course, but it sure feels that way. I am a bit of an over-achiever when it comes to sitting in a *classroom* of any sort. I've never been the type to slink into the back row and try to stay unnoticed. Oh, I have good intentions, really I do... but the leader/teacher always always ends up asking a question that no one can answer.. and there I am, raising my little over-zealous hand like that kid you wanted to smack in grade school. "Ooh Ooh MEEEE... Pick MEEEE, I have the answer!!" Because once you've been through a year of WW meetings, the questions start to repeat themselves. And when you go for a year & quit, only to start again 3 years later, you learn that the exact same discussions are still being had.
 
Because, for real... this ain't rocket science, folks. Eat less + move more = lose weight. It's just that simple, right? That's what we've always been taught.
 
"Drink a full cup of water before your meal so you aren't as hungry!"
"When you get the urge to snack, go brush your teeth!"
"No eating after 6:00 pm!!"
"Never go grocery shopping on an empty stomach!"
 
These words of wisdom often come from people who have been through a major weight loss, but sometimes... sometimes they come from jerks well-meaning friends who think we don't know all of this. Like we just rolled off the Twinkie truck 100lbs overweight with visions of pot roast dancing around our heads.
 
In reality, overweight people are often the most well-educated when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle. We've researched it, we've planned for it, we've implemented each and every tip & trick known to man - time and time again.
 
But the part they don't often scream from the rooftops, the part we had to learn on our own... THIS. IS. HARD.
 
I'll be beginning my newly banded life in two short days. And yes, it will be hard. But I'm going to hang on to one nugget of wisdom... one reminding whisper..
 
It will be WORTH it.

I was banded June 22, 2012. I have lost 45 lbs, as of Sunday morning Dec. 2nd I have reached my first major goal- 199!!! Onederland!!! I can't believe it!
 
I had be stuck on 201 for most of November and felt like I would never get below 200. I had a fill on Thursday that I feel like got me to the green zone. My band had major restriction, I really have to pay attention to how I eat now. I don't get hungry often and it takes a cup or LESS to get me full- WOW!
 
When I hit 199 I was so excited, I got on the scales 5 or 6 times just to be sure. Yep, 199.2. This morning my husband ask me what my next major goal was, since this had been my goal since surgery. I was at a loss, in my dream I wanted to get to the 140's, but was never really sure I'd reach that. Now that I have hit my first major goal, my mind is reeling- where do I go from here. What is possible? I feel more confident now that the 140's is possible, but realistically it's far off, so my next goal is 175!
 
This journey isn't always easy, but it is always worth it. Having people tell me I look great. Finally being below 200, which I don't really remember being ever. I feel fairly sure I was childhood, but never during my teens was I below 200.
 
With my last feel getting me to retriction and my finally hitting 199 I am feeling renewed and motivated to kick this journey into the next gear.
 
Never in my life have I so enjoyed laying my fork down before my plate is clean- now that is a satisfied feeling!

i get asked all the time about working out so i thought that i tell you my story with it. i am uncoordinated and can not balance ( i am much better now) even as a child i hated gym class. I was always the last picked but i loved to dance i would go to dance class all the time. Well till 13 when my dance teacher told me "i need to learn my place in life and it no were near the dance floor" that ended my love with dance.. I went to feeling like i could not. I joined a gym because my husband worked there Then i picked up body pump something about the music I worked out with Dave a trainer for 2 years however i never lost weight and never rely loved it. I bought the Zumba videos I was not a fan at frist. I thought i never were those silly paints. But the more time i did them the more i kind of liked it.
 
I started taking body pump on Sunday and the teacher was also a zumba teacher she invited me to stay. I SUCKED. I would not have come back if penny did not tell me it would get better i get better. The next week it did get a little better and it keeped getting better till i loved it. Then i was hocked and those silly paints with the but strings i own 7 pairs
 
So why do i love Zumba well it dose not matter if your fat thin green black old young one leg in a wheel chair you can do it. They have a zumba for everyone. I love to dance and I just get lost in the music. I get asked all the time for my best advice. So here it is
 
 
My Mottos:
If you think you can't you can if you can you will if you will you must if you must you do!!
 
I wear a neck less it was a gift from my zumba mentor. it has 3 charms 1. dance like no one watching - to me this means let go feel the music if you not doing a step right and trust me i even mess them up it dose not matter were all going to have fun. 2. a tiger eye for strength if you no this lap band journey you need this to have go though surgery fill change you eating habits it more than just pure muscle strength it about being strong enough to change your life. The 3rd is a butterfly it the transmutation a butterfly starts out a a caterpillar and then go though a change into a butterfat is in all of us.
 
Dance, walk move just be free to do what you like, Be Strong and in the end Become the butterfly that lies with in each one of us

I'm not looking for replies.... I just feel the need to vent... the need to just let these feelings out... bare with me...
 
Took Dad to the Dr for a checkup. Cancer levels have gone up drastically, he's starting to feel a little dizzy & light-headed every day, and the pain is starting to increase. It's starting to rear it's "fugly" head a little more now. We now have Hospice coming once a week. Don't get me wrong, he still "looks" OK, and seems to be hanging in there, but if you know my dad, that's his nature. He won't really complain, and if he does, you know it's bad. I don't like this. My heart actually kinda hurts right now. Feeling sad, but oh so thankful for having him around...

Once Upon a Time...
 
there was a girl. And let me tell you, this girl was awesome. Incredibly funny, kind-hearted, full of energy, beautiful and ready to tackle the world! This girl had four amazing children and loved them so incredibly much that she kept the biggest souvenir she could from each pregnancy. So after 10 years of having these amazing children, this awesome, funny, kind-hearted, full of energy, beautiful girl was.... fat.
 
But that was really ok, because she was still the same person she always was.
 
The End.
 
Ok... so there's that fairy tale. And there's a lot of truth there, really. I gained weight with each pregnancy, tried and failed to lose it, only to gain it back again and again. Same old story. After I had my 4th child, I hired a personal trainer and with his help, lost 60 pounds and felt terrific! Then we moved. No support system, new gym, you know the excuses. About 20 pounds crept back on, but I was still proud of myself. Then we moved again, this time out of state where we knew NO ONE. I made some friends, ate out a LOT, drank my fair share of Bud Light Lime & Twisted Tea, stopped going to the gym altogether and the weight came back, full force, plus 40 pounds.
 
I think I was born with some sort of self-confidence gene that most people don't have. I was always confident in exactly who I was, no matter what my body looked like at the time. I remember the very first time I ever had a crack in that confidence... it was about 6 years ago when I had lost that 60 pounds. I was at a womens' retreat with church and had accomplished a tremendous feat. They have this hill that goes from the lake up to the campsites and I swear to you, it has to be about a 65* angle. It felt like I was walking straight up a wall. But I made it. And I didn't just walk up the hill, I RAN up that hill. I felt like Bella scaling that wall when she smelled human blood the first time she went hunting after she turned. I digress... I made it up the side of that mountain and just collapsed at the top, chest heaving, pulse racing, heart about to burst. And oddly enough, in what should have been a time of great joy, all I felt was sadness. I couldn't believe that I had lived my life on the sidelines for so long. I was disparaged that the Lord had given me this body and I had wasted it.
 
I never thought I'd go back to "that place" but I did. I gained all the weight back, and then some. And now I'm at a point where I don't want to let myself down anymore. I'm still that awesome girl with a great husband and four amazing kids. I STILL don't have any real negative body image issues (although I also know I SHOULD), but I know I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to set a good example and be healthy for GOOD. I'm ready to be around for my kids, I'm ready to jump on trampolines & go on rides at amusement parks without a second thought as to whether I'll fit. I'm ready to sit in the bathtub without having to shift to one side to let the water drain out. I'm ready to get naked in front of my husband of 11 years! I'm just READY.
 
My surgery is scheduled for 12/12/12. Sounds like a good day to start my new life to me.

October was an awesome month for me in the weight loss department, I lost 8 lbs. Since the first week in November I have been on a dang gone plateau, and it sucks!!! My weight has bounced since that week between 202.6 and 201.4. My goal had been to hit 199 by Thanksgiving and obviously that didn't happen.
 
I did indulge one day and allowed myself 2000 calories on Thanksgiving day, which was still below the amount I burned that day. Lunch was followed by a nap and then a 4 mile family hike. I totally don't feel guilty about allowing myself that once, as long as it doesn't become habit. Some of you may berate me for that, but we all have to do what works for us.
 
Other than the family hike on Thanksgiving I haven't been exercising per say. I have been working! I get up get into the office by 6:45 work until 3, go home or run errons, then go home clean, do laundry, cook dinner - deal with the creatures (2 dogs, 2 cats). We have stuff going on every weekend that takes us out of town or brings family to our home. When I cook I make my recipes as healthy as possible. I feel like I am going crazy though staying busy all the time. Sunday after my in-laws left I passed out on the couch and took a 3 hour nap, I was exhausted.
 
Is my tiredness playing into the platuea? Is my lack of working out causing? I have no idea what the cause is, but I know it sucks.
 
Tomorrow I return to my doctor for a fill, likely with my head tucked between my knees. When I left last time, my doctor smiled and said I will see you in November and below 200 and I failed!
 
I know that my inches have gone down because my clothes are fitting differently, my 16's are fitting a little looser and my 14's are pefect. But, weight is what is the main measure of success.
 
I know I shouldn't just look at the weight, but it's hard not to. I am so very close to onederland. When I started this journey the thought of getting below 200 was a dream, now that I am so close it almost seem unattainable.
 
Am I meant to always be the fat girl? Is my body against me and refusing to drop the fat? I don't know, but I do know that this plateau is making it very hard to stay motivated.
 
Hopefully, the weight will start to move again soon and in the right direction.

Yesterday my husband & I were at an extended family gathering and a few of the relatives commented on my weight loss (they had not seen me since my surgery).
 
I was sitting at a table with one of the cousins and she was asking me about it. I told her I had the Lap Band surgery and she said her daughter was thinking about doing that. Her daughter was also at the table and said either that or the sleeve. We started talking about WLS and I expressed that it didn’t matter which WLS a person does, they have to change their eating habits in order to be successful. They have to eat a lot of protein and veggies, no junk food, etc. She said oh I don’t know if weight loss is worth all that……. WHAT??????
 
Is losing almost 75 pounds in 9 months’ worth it? YES
 
Is going down 6 pant sizes worth it? YES
 
Is being off all prescription medicines for high blood pressure worth it? YES
 
Is not being pre-diabetic worth it? YES
 
Is being able to walk up the stairs to the 8th floor of my office building every morning worth it? YES
 
Is being able to push the lawn mower around my house worth it? YES
 
Is hearing friends & family say how wonderful I look worth it? YES
 
IS IT WORTH IT? HELL YES!!!!!

I was a big girl for a long time. I always had to let my personality lead the way. I was never noticed for the beautiful person I was trapped in a world where being a big person isnt whats attractive. Even though I was a big girl I was never a slob, I want to say that even though the weight that held me back is gone, I am still the same beautiful person I was before. Funny how now Im noticed walking down the halls, walking into a grocery store, or having a drink with the girls. As much as people will say they are not judgemental towards overweight people, have never been on the heavy side of the scale. Having been on both sides now I see the difference how I'm treated what doors have been opened to me peronally and professionally. There are no words that can describe the feeling of no longer being the wallflower. I am no longer sitting on the sideline watching my life pass me by.

It's so close that if I stand on my tippy toes I can just about see it! Currently, I'm at 207. My gosh, I could actually weigh 200 by Christmas OR maybe even before.....
 
I haven't weighed under 200 pounds in a very, very, very long time. I think...no, I'm pretty sure, that I will cry when I get there...
 
Tears of joy!

I haven't posted anything in a really long time. I do get on and read others posts just haven't had much to talk about myself. But I FINALLY have something good to report! I finally got my surgery approval! My insurance required a 3 month supervised diet and exercise program. I had to talk regularly with one of their nurses as a liaison. I thought, mistakenly, that that sufficed as the supervision but when the 3 months were over I learned that that was NOT what they meant. Soooo, the process had to start all over again! Finally, completed that and got all the other tests/paper work submitted. I checked with my surgeon's office on Monday but they still hadn't heard anything (all the paperwork, etc. Had been submitted for a few weeks). Then on Wednesday I finally got the call from the insurance nurse as well as the coordinator from my surgeon's office! Really excited but also REALLY nervous! I'm not sure on the exact surgery date-- either Dec18th or Jan15th. Will know for sure next week. I'm anxious about the 2 week liquid diet. Any advice? Would live to hear from anyone about that! Guess that's all for now!

My mother in law and sister in law came be spend Thanksgiving with my husband and I. My mother-in-law had called last week and said she wanted to take me shopping to get some clothes that fit. Considering she has never done anything for me in the 5 years I have been with her son, I was shocked.
 
On Friday us girls decided to hit the mall about 5pm. Being a big girl I have always gotten clothes from Walmart, Belk, place like that where I could hit a sale and get them cheap. Like it really matters what you put on a hippo- it's still a hippo- that is how I felt.
 
Well my SIL said I need to go to Talbots. I had never been there. When we walked in they were busy and the sales girl was so helpful. My MIL told her I had lost 50 lbs and needed some clothes and that price wasn't an option- WOW. She told me to find something nice. The sales girl said she herself had lost 100 lbs in the last few years and she knew what I was going through- she looks like a stick now, amazing transformation. She was helpful picking out clothes that I would have never before tried.
 
By the time I finished I had one pair of pants and 3 tops. The pants were Women's Petite 14- WOW, I never remember wearing a 14. The clothes fit me perfect, like they were made for my body.
 
What a difference the right cut and fit can make. I looked at myself in the mirror and was able to smile and was happy with how I looked- wow. Feeling like you look good does give you confidence and a spunk in your step.
 
The next day I wore one of my new outfits and my hubs was like wow you look hot. I was so excited. With that and the new earrings my MIL purchased for me at Swarski crystals I felt like I was Julia Roberts in the Pretty Women except for the hooker thing.
 
I will be visting that Talbots again for sure!!!
 
Anyone who lives near Raleigh, NC - I totally recommend going to Talbots at Southpoint Mall- awesome staff!

Of things I want to be able to do on and after my weightloss journey.

To sky dive (weight limit is 200lbs for my height)
Be able to comfortably fit in an economy airline seat
Be able to ride roller coasts with a "no doubt" mind set that I will fit
Start training for a triatholon
Be back to my high school jean size of 11 and medium top
Learn to play violin (not really weightloss related... but whatev, I want to learn)
Be able to wear high heels longer than 3 hours with out my feet hurting from 270+lbs crushin my tooties
Not have to try on 20 dresses to find 1 that looks ok to wear
Be able to walk up the dry-dock stairs at work with out feeling like I'm dying (literally...my leg feel like they're going to fall off and my heart feels like it's going to explode)
Not having to crop pictures anymore
No more having to retake pictures 20 times to find one where I don't look huge

 
I know I'll come up with more....

Well it has been two years this weekend since I had lap-band surgery. Official date for surgery was October 27, 2010. All I can say is wow, I have learned so much these past two years and still learn everyday but only hope and pray it all sticks with me for the rest of my life. When I started this journey two years ago, I was morbidly obese and like many of you had struggled for years with the ups and downs of yo-yo dieting. My medical health had started to suffer under the weight of my added poundage and my life expectancy was being greatly affected by my poor choice of diet. I loved food and what is even worse I am an excellent cook and baker and was so scared I could not change. This journey for me has been a very personal journey like I know it is for all of you. I think my biggest fear in the beginning was that I would fail or I would lose some weight but not all the weight. Can anyone identify with those thoughts? I am sure you can. On the outside to people looking in, I look like I have made this journey easy but that is so far from the truth. I fight back the urges of my alter ego daily. What do I mean by that, I have head hunger just like the rest of you but I know if I allow myself that one indulgence that I may not be able to stop. Everyone has those few things that I chose to call their kryptonyte and those are the things that if presented with them you find them the hardest to resist. Mine are potato chips and french fries. Hmmm, wonderful crunchy salty yummy potato chips and wonderful hot salty FF from of yes McDonald's. Today if presented with these two items I would still indulge in their forbidden goodness. I know, I know, I should be stronger right, well I am human and we all have our weaknesses and that is mine. So how do I avoid them, simple don't buy them. If you were to do a sweep of my cupboards and fridge and freezer you would find healthy snacks. Apples, bananas, natural peanut butter, SF syrups, Dark Chocolate (I buy one bar at a time of Chocoluv Dark Chocolate with Sea Salt and it has to last 2 weeks, that is one itty bitty square at a time), healthy pop corn(no added butter) Raw Almonds and protein shakes and bars. May sound boring but I have found these to be my new delights when I want a snack and actually find myself craving my new found healthy snacks. I still have several obsessions with my weight loss journey, I have to record my food intake daily, (MFP) I have to make recipes for any foods I do in combination (I use the recipe builder on MFP, before I indulge in them), I still 2 years out weigh and measure my food, I still eat off a salad plate. (All of these rituals sometimes drive my husband crazy, he even told a Friend this weekend that he was actually jealous of my blogging and all the time I spend on MFP and LBT, I looked at him and said. Seriously, "Would you rather have the old Diane back?" "If not get over it, deal with it, this is my therapy and this is what helps me stay honest and clean with myself." So now you know my other obsession today, my computer time, this new found love for recording food, responding to blogs and forums is my indulgence and helps me stay focused on why I am doing all of this.
 
So if your still reading my long winded ranting, I am sure you are wondering where the pot of gold, the fairy dust, magic wand and words of great wisdom are? Well guess what there are none, there is no magic, there is nothing special about lap band, it will not help you fix your obsessions with food, it will not cure your head hunger and most important it will not stop you from eating. Now it will give you some negative reinforcement if you chose to break the rules and over indulge in bad band behavior. So I guess one word of wisdom is to get your head screwed on right.
 
You see day after day I read on this web site all the comments from fellow bandsters about needing help because they have fallen off the band wagon, they need to refocus, the need to get back on track, they say they cheated, they say they have been banded for days, months, years and still are struggling with losing weight. Honestly all of this makes my heart hurt, , you ask, Why? Because, these people are still waiting for the band to tell them not to eat (RESTRICTION), their still waiting for that wonderful Sweet Spot they told us that would come. That wonderful spot when the band was perfect, and it would help them not feel hunger and take away all the urges for wanting to eat. They told us this would help, they told us this was going to be a tool and this tool would help us not to feel hungry and help control our hunger. Guess what guys, STOP WAITING because that day will never come and if it does it usually only lasts for a few weeks or months and over time we lose fluid in the band, it loosens and you get a fill and you start all over again.
 
So I guess my one small gem of wisdom is learn to control your head hunger and stop waiting on the band to control your eating habits and learn to control the band. The only person who can really help you lose weight is YOU, yes the band is a tool, you can have more fluid put in to it and continue to sit and wait for that wonderful SWEET SPOT or you can take control of your life and learn to control your behavior and relationship with food. The band is not going to fix you, you have to fix you and that my friends takes time and patience. That is where the word cheating comes in, when you fail to fix you, you continue to make the same bad choices and excuses day after day, month after month and wonder why you are not losing weight. It is easy to blame the tool, after all they did tell us this tool would help us to succeed where we had failed with so many other diets and plans. But guess what there is no full proof guarantee with WLS of any kind. There are many people who have the band, the sleeve and full bypass who continue to loss and gain the same weight over and over again just like they did before.
 
So what do I do if the band is not working for me? I suggest you take a good long look at the person in the mirror because honestly she or he are the only persons who can really help you to get to where you want to be. I want to share a poem with you that I find very motivational and have kept a laminated copy of this on my mirror in my bathroom. Any of you that have followed me these past two years have heard me time and time again speak about positive affirmation's and learning to love your self. The key to my success is not my band but me, I have changed. I am not the same person I was 2 years ago. I don't think the same and I don't feel the same. I have reached my goal weight and on the out side I am thin but on the inside is where I really feel different, I no longer feel like a fat girl. Yes I will continue to work on the emotional me and I will always remember where I once was. After you read the poem below you will understand why I titled this blog, Is it really worth not cheating, because if you fail to lose weight and fail to learn to control your food chooses the only person you are failing is you and honestly haven't you hurt yourself enough!
So if you are still struggling with losing, still waiting on the band to fix you, get some counseling, dig deeper into yourself and find out what makes you tick. You are worth it but you have to know that and really believe it.
 
You see I am not allowing my band to control my journey any longer nor am I allowing the band to dictate what I eat or when. i am in control of me and my behavior, yes i have bad days but the success to those bad days is I do not give in to the behavior because i have to face the 'Lady in the Glass" Enjoy and I wish everyone peace, hope and success on the journey we call "Bandster Living." I am not perfect but a work in progress and taking this one day at a time.
 
 
The Man In The Glass
Peter Dale Wimbrow Sr.

 
 
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
 
For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
 
He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest
For he’s with you, clear to the end
And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
 
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

I am doing what I was told and DRINKING!! I drink any where from 80-100 oz of water a day and I seem to live to potty. I swear my co-worker must think I have an over active bladder. Unfortunately my bosses office is right across from the woman bathroom and I am afraid he will say something about me going to the bathroom every 20-30 min.
 
Do you have this problem?
 
However, now that I have started drinking this much a day, if I go a day and drink less (like a busy weekend day) I feel thirsty. I know it's good to rid my body of the bad stuff, but geez I feel like I have to go pee as soon as I get into anything.
 
 
To another topic-- My weight has stalled out for 2 weeks in the 201-202 range. It is my week for my TOM, but no bleeding- only cramps. I do weigh everyday (chill it's ok- I do not let this bug me- I look at patterns not the day it's self) and each day I am getting any where from 201.6 to 202.4 and I weigh at the same time of day each day with the same thing on. I have had this happen before so I know it will get better, however, I had made a goal for myself to be below 200 by Thanksgiving and I am so freaking close.
 
The last few days in prep for the holiday I have been steaming/shampooing my carpets rather than working out. I work all day then come home and start working on my carpets. I have a 3000 sq ft house and 2 dogs (one is a puppy), 2 cats and a husband. I gotta get back to the normal workout, but I also have to have my house ready for the invasion of in-laws (which I am happy about). Then this weekend the hubs wants to deck the halls since this will be our Thanksgiving and Christmas with his family.
 
Oh well, pray for me all I will need it!!

No really I am. I have to be otherwise I would enjoy it, right?
 
I truly hate exercising! I’ve never liked going to the gym, it’s boring. I don’t like getting all hot and sweaty, out of breath; heart beating like it will explode out of my chest. Hated PE in school, I was always the last kid picked for the team….
 
But one of the necessities for successful weight loss is exercise regularly. How do I accomplish this?
 
I started simple by:
Parking at the back of the parking lots
Turning on some music and dancing around my house. (Dogs got a kick out of this; they thought it was play time.)
Took my dogs for walks around our property. (We live on acreage in the country.)

Then I bought an inexpensive exercise bike that folds up and sits in the corner of my living room (This way I see it every day). When I watch TV in the evenings I get on the bike and ride. I started doing 10 minutes and worked up to 30 minutes. Now I’m working on increasing the intensity (ride faster).
 
Next, I started moving more at work. I started using the bathroom on different floors (walking the stairs to the floors); and getting up from my desk a couple of times a day just to walk the stairs.
 
So here I am still don’t like exercising but I do move! I no longer use the elevator at work (and I’m on the 8th floor!) and I ride my bike 30 minutes 3-5 times a week.
 
It’s not a lot but as long as I’m doing something I’m seeing results.

Judgment sucks!!
 
I think we all have felt we are always judged reguarding out weight. My issues started when my doctor as a kid was a health nut and was always telling me I was a fatty. I would go in with step throat and he would spend the entire time harping on my weight. Bottom line is - we feel judged at work, in stores and at resturants for out weight. Sometimes I think we are judged, but sometimes I think it's just our own negitive feelings toward ourselves.
 
Today I was reading some blogs and post that talked about WLS. In some of them I felt judged because of how hard core people are. However, are they really talking to me or are they just talking about themselves?
 
All of choose WLS for a particular reason and we are either being successful or not. Here is the kicker - success doesn't come the same for everyone!! Some people preach a certain way- no carb, low carb, certain exercises, calorie counting, weighing daily, not weighing at home at all, ect.
 
I have found success in counting calories and doing cardio with light weight training. I still eat carbs and foods I love just less of them. I have lost 43 lbs in a little over 4 months. I think that is successful considering I started at 244. My percentage of weight loss is better, according to my doctor, than many at my same place. This is what has worked for me, will it work for you, I have no idea, maybe, maybe not.
 
I refuse to judge people- whatever way you find success I say AWESOME- keep it up. Also, share what made you a success- some will find your way works for them, some will find my way works. We are all different and if we reap different success ideas from people we can build our own success plan.
 
Also, if you are having a bad day and need to whine or b#@$#, or complain do it. I am willing to listen because unless you are lying to yourself or unless you are on drugs you occasionally have a bad day and need to vent to someone. While I am being successful there are days when I get down in the dumps and worry or stress and I NEED people to be understanding instead of saying shut the h@@@ up and either do what your suppose to or not. While yes, I need to stick to my success plan I also need compassion and not judgement.
 
Now if you are complaining every day that the band is not working and you are downing milkshakes like water then you don't have anyone to blame, but yourself. And you need to be told that.
 
This site has been both positive and negitive in my life- I have found support and also found judgement. Sometimes I seek advise or hope that some will comment to something I have said and I get nothing and yes I feel ignored when there are others out there with their band buddies who get lots of comments and support. However, is that just me feeling due to my self impression that people are excluding me.
 
I must learn to be my judge and advocate and cheerleader. I need to look at myself realistically and kick myself in the butt when I need it and also give myself a pat on the back when I deserve it.
 
Today I am choosing to not look to others for affirmation or pats on the back, but look to myself. I must learn to find joy in my success and find answers in my failures.

Yesterday my husband & I rented a craft booth at out town’s Market Days. We make several things (wood bowls & trays, bags, napkins, placemats & coasters) and we wanted to try selling them.
 
The day started early, we were up at 6:00am. As my husband loaded the truck I packed food for the day. We would be at our booth all day (9am to 4pm) so I needed both breakfast and lunch for both of us. Now my band had been tight the day before, probably due to stress and excitement for the upcoming event. So I wanted to bring smart food for myself…. I knew there would be lots of tempting food vendors there with not so healthy choices.
 
I made a protein shake to take with me for breakfast; I knew this would be safer than trying to eat something. For lunch I took 3ozs of chicken salad and a Greek yogurt, for a snack an apple cut into slices. I also packed a pre-made protein shake just in case I had problems eating and needed fuel….
 
I also packed 4 water bottles for myself so that I would get my water in for the day (course this meant I had to locate the closest bathroom, lol)
 
As it turned out our booth was downwind from the kettle popcorn vendor…..yep smelled popcorn ALL DAY LONG…. & watched people walking by with big bags of the stuff. My created husband started asking people, “Need a bowl for that popcorn?”
 
It was a great day. Business wise we sold a few things did some networking with the local vendors and made some good business connections. Personally it was a great success; I managed a challenging situation by planning ahead and sticking to my plan.

Ya know what? I think I'm starting to feel a little better about myself lately. While I'm very aware that at 5 '3, weighing almost 210 pds is overweight, I've managed to lose just shy of 35 pds in the last 3 months! I notice my clothes are loser, and that I've dropped 1 dress size. Techinically 1 1/2, but that doesn't quite exist, now does it?
 
I actually felt good about myself when I got dressed for work today. I put on my size 20 pants, and they were loose. I tried my size 18, and I'm not quite there yet. Need to lose more stomach weight... LOL...
My pants felt loose, and even my shirt was a little big.
 
My co-workers haven't noticed the weight loss, or at least they haven't said anything. My guess is that they don't want to be rude wondering if I have lost any weight. But, I'm hopeful that come mid January, when we host our Dealer Meeting, people (co-workers) will have no choice but to notice that I've lost weight. Yes, I'm hoping for compliments.
 
Looking forward to continuing this journey & looking and feeling better each day!

We (me) lie to ourselves a lot.
 
I stayed in deniel over my weight for way to long. Thinking, oh, I'm not really that big. I just avoided pictures and mirrors. If I do see it's not there, right?
 
Due to my weight though I over compensated in a lot of areas. I was that annoying sibling who did everything my parents wanted. I made good grades, I worked, I was honest with my parents and I never got in trouble - honestly. This drove my brothers crazy. But, a lot of the reason for this was I wasn't popular. I didn't want to go to parties and stay out late because I had no self confidense.
 
As an adult I am pretty much a stickler for the rules at work and every where else. My weight has been out of control so I wanted to control everything else in my life.
 
Once I admitted, yes I am over weight, and yes I disgust myself with the rolls, I decided to do something about it. I was scared to begin with of not being successful. After all I got fat because I loved the taste of food- real food - not junk. I talked to my doctor and told him my fears, he ask if I really wanted to lose weight- I said yes. If anything were possible what would be the best way for you to loose- I thought well food not having calories would be nice- but realistically it was for me to eat less of what I was already eating. I already ate lots of veggies, healthy grains, fruit, and lean meats - I had already made that change years ago. I can't even tell you the last time I ate little debbie- never really liked them. He told me that he could help with that - the band would help me eat less.
 
Now, truth be told, 4.5 months post op, 43 lbs gone, this has not been as hard as I expected. Do I have hard days, heck yeah, but looking over the entire 4 months, once I got past the first 2, it's been pretty great. I don't miss soda, I don't miss the large quantity of food. I do not miss the size 22's. I don't miss anypart of my old life- nothing. Rather than filling like a stuffed cow after a meal I feel good, comfortable. It doesn't take much for it to kick in now that I have had enough since I got restriction. Once that hits I honestly believe if I ate another bite I would be sick- I haven't pushed that, but I feel that way. I hit that point at a cup of food. Left overs abound at my house now and I realize just how much I was eating.
 
We all say WLS is hard, it's not easy, it's not the easy way out and it's not. However, this is alot easier than continuing to live the way I was - fat and miserable! It's a lot easier to put down that fork now than it was before. It's a lot easier to say nope don't want that now that it was 5 months ago. 5 months ago I would go for any food at any time- now unless I'm hungry I don't want it. My daily craving is water - seriously- I drink 80-100 oz now, I am thirsty.
 
Anyway- this is just my rant- how do you feel about your journey- has it been easy or has it been hell?

My Lap-band is a great tool for my weight loss journey, if only I could band my head. How many times have we thought that? I read it on threads all the time. Well, we can band our head. In fact I have a Banded Brain Tool and it’s called SUPPORT. It comes in all different shapes and sizes. My Banded Brain Tool consists of five things:

Cheerleaders – these are my family and friends who from the sidelines are cheering me on. It’s my hubby seeing me struggle and walking up to me whispering in my ear, “You are doing so incredible on this journey, I’m so proud of you.” Or my friends saying, “You look great!”


Support Group – My support group meets once a month. Seeing fellow bandster, exchanging stories and ideas gets me from month to month.


LapBandTalk – I log on every day, check in with my friends, help and support other bandsters as well as get help and support.


MyFItnessPal – Keeps me honest with my food intake and my friends offer help and ideas here too.


FitBit – My pedometer on steroids! I never though one little electronic devise would get me climbing stairs every day. It sends me emails when I earn a new badge (never forget the first day I climbed 50 flights – I was a dancing fool). I compete with my friends to see who can walk the most steps and we encourage each other one.

Between my Lap-band and Banded Brain Tool I have been able to succeed with my weight loss.

My rat terrior mix, Bugsy, caught a mouse and he wanted to bring it INSIDE!
 

I had my surgery 9 months ago, February 7, 2012. It seems like just yesterday, but no its 9 months ago. Wow, time has flown and wow things sure have changed. In celebration of being 9 months reborn I made a list of 9 things that have changed (excluding the weight & inches lost):
No more medication – When I started this journey I had to take 3 different medications to control my high blood pressure. Today my blood pressure is normal without medication.


Giving the elevator the day off – I work on the 8th floor, every morning I walk up the stairs to my office and in the evening I walk down. Plus during the day I go up and down at least 3 floors, several times.


Sex – Sex is definitely better. I’ll skip the details…


How my skin feels – I like rubbing my hand up and down my arm, my skin feels thinner (Don’t know if this makes sense to you)


Wearing heels – When I was at my heavies my ankles couldn’t handle heels. Now I’m back to wearing heels again!


My confidence – I walk taller, I smile all the time, I really like being me now!


I like looking at myself in the mirror – dressed or naked, I like what I see. It’s not perfect but I like it!


Finding my extravert self – When I was in high school I was very outgoing; I had no fear of talking to strangers. When I was at my heaviest I was so shy, I wouldn’t look people in the eyes, afraid to talk to them. Now, I’m back to looking people in the eyes and talking to strangers.


The way others look at me – I love seeing guys take a second look; the expression on my friends faces when they see me and how the family responds to me.

I am going to write down every day one thing that I am very thankful for.
So here goes.
 
I am thankful for both my girls. I consider them both my greatest achievement in life. They are the two best things I have ever done.
They are the reason I am wanting to lose weight, so they will be proud of me. So that I can do more things with them and enjoy it instead of being tired and just wanting to sit.

Hello Blog world,
I apologize for my absence but it has been a crazy couple of weeks. I felt guilty for missing 2 of my weekly Monday log in's and I promise to do better. But I just wanted to log in and tell you that I have accomplished some awesome scale goals. Since I started this process I am officially down 41 lbs!! Since starting the pre-op diet I am down 33 lbs!! And since date of surgery I am down 20 lbs! But that is a grand total of 41 lbs lost!!
When I set out to do this I was very nervous that I wouldn't lose any weight, or I would only lose about 10-15 lbs. I know that I have a long way to go, I need to lose 94 more lbs to be at my goal but I am tickled pink. I have been logging everything I eat and drink in my track on My Fitness Pal and measuring my portions, I think it is awesome that I am holding myself accountable. I have been making healthier choices and controlling my stress/emotional eating but I have also let myself eat some bad things. If I eat something that is bad, I balance it by eating great the rest of the day and by working out extra hard that day. I've read on Lapbandtalk.com about people being extra strict on their diet and then hearing about them falling off and having a melt down. One of my friends on there posted about eating good but allowing herself to indulge from time to time. I have been following this, I make sure that I do not make poor decisions often, but if I do then I compensate for it with the rest of my food choices and make sure I exercise more. I am happy with my path so far. I have been working out anywhere from 3-5 times a week. Starting Monday I am going to make sure that it is consistently 5 times a week going forward. I just need to make sure I work this in. I am also going to start a weight work out that I am kinda nervous about. But gotta tone up.
Tonight I am having a Halloween party at my house. I am excited about the party but extra excited about my costume. I am going as a dark angel and have to say I am going to be very comfortable in a regular XL (not plus size) black skirt and a regular Large top! I can't tell you the last time I was able to wear this stuff. I will have to post pictures on my regular Monday post. I am also working on a list of pointers for the newbies out there. Things I have learned thus far in my journey.
Well that is all for now...until tomorrow,
Amanda