☠carolinagirl☠

Today at work I had to give a presentation to over 100 staff members, the majority being managers & directors.
 
Before I was banded I would get so nervous fearing all they would see was this talking whale….
 
Today, I felt confident in myself. I knew the subject matter, I was dressed professionally and I was ready. The presentation went off without any hicks and after it was over my coworker said to me, “Wow, you were so confident up there. How do you do that?”
 
It made me think. I am confident, I am in control, I like myself…. No I love myself. I stand tall!
 
All because in February 2012 I decided to put myself first, to change my lifestyle, to eat right & exercise. I got a tool to help me accomplish this, my band, and together we have done incredible stuff.
 
I have changed and improved myself and today I do stand tall.
 
I thank the band for that!

WLS is not Cover Girl. Easy Breezy is not a definition that can be used when talking about WLS.
 
In reading the comments posted on Fox News regaurding Gov. Christie's lapband surgery, I was disturbed to see that people still see WLS as the easy way out. What I would like to know is what part of major surgery is easy?
 
While lapband surgery is not a horrible ordeal to face, it isn't all sugar plums and roses. I was sick after surgery, felt like crap. Then I had trouble taking in enough. Then I was starving hungry. Then when I started eating again I was terrified. As the first 50 lbs melted away I was thrilled with my decision to have lapband, once I got past the 199 mark, the next 10 lbs took 4 months! I am still very glad I choose this change and committed to it.
 
Just because you have WLS doesn't mean your cravings, desires, wants disappear. We have to learn to manage these things. WLS success requires a huge committment to change your lifestyle. This pathway to health is worth it, but it is far from easy.
 
May 22nd I will be 11 months post op and I have gone from 244 to 188. I have gone from wearing a tight 18W to a very comfy 14. I know longer wear the 1-2X shirts, I know easily wear a large. These things are awesome and make then changes I committed to well worth the struggle.
 
Every day brings with it a new set of challenges, opticles, highs and lows, but it is worth it to finally feel "normal".
 
I no longer walk into places and feel like people are looking at me due to my weight. I am no longer paranoid over it (well almost there). I love walking into stores and being able to find cute clothes. I walked past the Women's sizes the other day in Belk and saw a cute top- guess what all they had were to big for me . My husband hugs me and comments frequently how small I feel and how proud he is of me.
 
So no matter how people view the surgery, no matter if it is hard or easy, I don't give a rats bootie- this is my life and I choose health. I choose to change. I am on this journey. I still have 45 lbs left to loose. I won't make it to goal in a year. But by golly I will make it. One day, I will see the blessed 140's. I am not sure how much more changing and rearranging I will have to do to my life style, but I am committed and I will do what I must to finally acheive my dreams!

This seems to be a topic that comes up often so I will try to explain all of them and how they happen. Over eating causes your 2-4 ounce pouch to stretch and force food up into your esophagus causing it to dilate. Just because people think that food does not stay in the pouch long that is not true as you get tighter. The food takes longer to go down and eating fast or over eating causes pouch stretching. Band erosion is also caused from over eating. Imagine your band around your stomach and every time you over eat you are forcing your band into the stomach wall. Over a period of time your stomach tissue will wear away and your band will erode into your stomach causing your stomach contents to go into your abdominal cavity which is poison to your system. If you feel like food is backing up into your throat then you are over eating. I know some people eat a cup of food but if you look at most pictures of the band and ask your doctor how much food will my pouch hold not how big is my band, I am sure they will tell you 4 ounces which is a half cup of food. Now the cup to half cup can be debated all day long but the fact is if you over eat which ever that means for you, you are risking your pouch to stretch, dilate your esophagus (which will cause problems pushing the food down) and band erosion.
 
Take your time to eat, don't over eat and take care of your band and yourself so that it can last a long time. Also being too tight can add to much pressure to the band and cause it to erode also. So make wise choices when eating and getting fills.

The last week I have been BUSY!!! I spent most of last week in classes to learn about the new software system we are switching over to this summer. This was a very technical class, that left my brain in mush mode by night.
 
In an effort not to back track on my success I opted to take a page from Carolina Girls book. I made my little cups of chicken salad (chicken, apples, grapes and pecan) were fixed in my fridge. I also had more apples and grapes in there, along with the staple of weight watchers cheese sticks. Each morning I would pack my little bag and take it with me to class. Taking my lunch allowed me to stay in during lunch and play with the training database more and talk to the teacher to get more info. The great thing I found by doing this is it works!! I stuck to my portion size and found that I didn't get hungry, I never felt bloted or bad.
 
So this week rather than chicken salad I make homemade fresh tuna salad for my lunches. Again this is great and keeps me from just grabing anything for lunch. So I have to say thanks to Carolina Girl for putting out there what works for her.
 
Unlike, CG, I can't do carbless. As she said that is her choice, but I have always been a carb aholic so I know long term carbless wouldn't work for me. So in an effort to do better, I have opted to go carbless for one meal a day.
 
On my fidge is a list, each day with what I will do for breakfast and what I will cook for dinner. This way I can plan, get fresh groceries, and make sure one carbless meal gets in a day. My fresh veggies and fruit also don't spoil this way. In my fridge I have the shelf that is at my eye level full of my fruits and veggies and healthy options- this helps me make good choices.
 
Now if I can manage to kick it to the next level and get back into a regular work out routine rather than the sporatic one I have been one of late.
 
A bit of advice for newbies and oldies.... read what works for others, pull some of it and try it, see what works for you. We are all different, but by putting what works for us out there we might help others so talk, read, learn!!

I'm sitting here in my house going crazy. I woke up this morning at 4:30, and could not go back to sleep. I've been going crazy over the past week. I've got about 3 weeks before my surgery and I am so anxious. I mean really anxious. I am obsessed with this website I've read everything on here. I post whenever I have a question, just so I can communicate and interact with people going through what I'm going through. I keep trying to find new people to talk to. I don't have anyone around that I know personally that has or is going through this. I'm so obsessed with getting my lap-band that it can't come fast enough. Luckily I have meet some people through this site that I talk to, but it doesn't seem to be enough. What's going on with me? Has anyone else been this obsessed with getting the band? I know my husband Is getting tired of hearing me talk about what I've done,what I need to do,what he needs to do, what I should not do etc., you get the picture. But he is being a real trouper. I don't really have any questions to post about so I decided to post this blog and hopefully get some of this energy out. Get this, I hate writing,but that is how bored I am. I know I'll get through this, but I'm driving everyone else, along with myself crazy in the meantime. Maybe I should go for a walk after this, I really hate walking too, but I have to start sometime. Anyone else going crazy waiting? Along with all this I'm also on a high protein low carb diet and staying at about 1200 calories, which seems to be adding to this anxious bored feeling, I don't know why, maybe because I can't eat and don't know what to do with my time and energy. Writing that just mad me think, that might be it I just finished finals too. I think I eat when I get bored and I don't have anything as of yet to take it's place. Not even banded yet and having issues,Oh boy. It is a weird feeling it is a lost feeling. Can anyone relate? Funny, this has been therapeutic, I never would have thought. I have heard journaling(sp?) is helpful but did not believe it. Learn something new everyday. Well that's about it just needed to vent some. Good luck to everyone with your journey.

When I discovered LBT I was 4 months into my journey, like most I would read a lot of posts and on occasion I would post. I found myself following 2 ladies and the 3 of us struck up a wonderful friendship. We would goof around, take over threads, insult and love each other. One from Florida, one form North Carolina and myself from Texas we became the three musketeers of LBT.
 
We have never met face to face but to me our friendship is the most precious around. I love both these ladies like sisters. I don’t know what I would do without them.
 
This evening when I got home from work the mailman knocked on my door with a package for me from Florida?! The package was marked Fragile….I haven’t ordered anything on line lately. Who do I know in Florida??? I was puzzled. So I opened the package to find the most thoughtful birthday gift from one of my LBT friends. It was so thoughtful and personalized that I burst into tears.
 

 
 
I enjoy my wine and my hot tub, but we all know that wine glasses do not mix with hot tubs. So I got a personalized travel wine glass, it’s called ClearWater Gear and her daughter did the vinyl customizing. I will cherish this gift.
 
Thank you so very much!

Went for a fill appointment this morning, talked over my hunger levels and loss history over he last month and the nurse suggested a .2 tweak, bringing me up to 4.9. So, liquids today, and mushies tomorrow. And I don't have to go back for a month.

Over the last four months I became almost unable to walk. I had so much pain in my muscles and weakness I was walking like duck. My old doctor who is now my old doctor would sit in the hallway and write me prescriptions for muscle relaxers and tell me to go home. I was in so much pain that I could not function, could barely get by at work. I had muscle spasms so bad in my lower back I was going weekly for a deep tissue massage. I never believed in Fibromyalgia because I didnt want to be labeled with something they have no explanation for.
 
I was so miserable I had to find a new doctor. I made an appointment two weeks ago, drove myself and almost needed a wheel chair to get inside the building. Two guys were standing outside talking and said mam do you need help? Well what the hell I am 50 years old and needing someone to almost carry me inside. So I said yes if you would be so kind.
 
I met with the doctor and he listened as I explained all my symptoms that started last year in July with no feeling in my leg and how I had MRI's of every part of my spine and head and nothing was wrong. He listened for one hour. Never rushed me so he could move on. After he examined me he told me I have Fibromyalgia. I cringed at those words because how can I live with something I dont believe in. I told him my thoughts and he said it's not a label we put on people when we can't find out what is wrong. It's a real disease with all the symptoms you are having and your nerves are over firing and causing muscle pain and spasming. He put me on Savella, which has been a God send, change my sleeping medication and told me to continue on the muscle relaxers and yes gave me something for pain because he believed I was having excrutiating pain. I gained about 6lbs because of lack of activity but I still tried to maintain my diet.
 
Two weeks later I feel a lot better but still have pain but it is bearable. I am thankful to my new doctor and my husband who sends me weekly to get a massage. I dont know if I still believe in this disease but I know the medication I am taking makes me feel so much better.

I love to shop for clothes, even if it's window shopping. Where I live in MA we have outlet stores about 30-45 minutes away and my husband is a people watcher. Perfect match! So today we went, the temp in Boston was around 60. I went into the Donna Karen store and they were selling daisy dukes. Can you picture us former over weight women in those with our Shar Pei thighs? Great picture, men. I just thought that was funny and I need humor. I did go to the Jones NY store and bought some 't's for $7. each and bought some for Mother's Day gifts, too. I love that store.
I was good today, my husband wouldn't let me into the Godiva store, OMG! I love their dark chocolates and yes, I do eat them.
Happy shopping, ladies and men.
Arlene

I am at peace


What can I say… I have accepted the fact that of me doing this pre op diet. Today is 4 day and I am at peace. I have lost 3 pounds and is ready to lose some more. I am more mentally prepared than ever and I just want to have my surgery and move on. I AM THE POINT OF NO RETURN! J I am looking forward to my ups and downs of being banded. So I wrote down my unofficial Top 10 things I look forward to being banded and I would like to share with everyone.
10. Crossing my legs
9. Finding an athletic hobby
8. Asking for a go box
7. Walking a 5K
6. Getting back into the dating scene
5. Cutting my grocery budget in half
4. Shopping for new clothes
3. Outlasting the day care kids at my second job
2. Reintroducing myself.
1. Standing in the mirror and telling myself….. DAMN I LOOK GOOD.
Not bad right? My momentum is still going and I am feeling good.
Thanks you for reading.

For now anyhow, had my second appointment were we decided that I didn't need a fill. Steady weight loss (Of course not as fast as I would like), 3-4 hours of satiety (Depending on if I stay away from simple carbs and focus on protein). Can pretty much eat anything, but have to be careful and have had a few stuck episodes in the last month when I wasn't.
 
It is kind of a bittersweet place to be, the green zone is this magical fairy land that is held out to us from the time we are banded, and yet here I am. I still wrestle with eating too fast, I still am plagued by head hunger, I still have to exercise, I still have weight to lose, I still get plateaued.
 
WAIT A MINUTE, YOU MEAN I STILL HAVE TO WORK AT MY WEIGHT LOSS, I THOUGHT THE BAND WAS MAGIC!!! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

Had my follow up with gastroenterologist yesterday. He's done all he can, medically. I'm seeing a top doctor in this type of problem at a local university hospital. There are only a few options available, even surgically:
1. Remove band, evaluate gastro-esophageal junction, hiatal hernia repair, vagus nerve damage/injury.
2. Remove band, take down HH repair and redo it along with Heller Myotomy.
3. Remove band, implant feeding tube for 3-6 months to rest the esophagus.
4. Remove band, remove esophagus with reconstructive surgery (horrible option)
 
The achalasia is "end stage" based on the manometry, but since pseudo achalasia is gaining prevalence in the banded population, I might get lucky and just end up with #1. Fingers crossed.
 
My motility was 0%
 
My appointments at the university start on May 17.
 
Wish me luck
 

I think most of us have had a love hate relationship with something- our cell phone, our job, heck even our spouse.
 
It is also easy to have a love hate relationship with the band. I do love mine, don't get me wrong, but some times that little plastic makes my life hell. For instand on my vacay, I ended up being stuck most of the trip, I couldn't eat much of anything. Sometimes eating slow is a problem especially when you are busy or in meeting- a quick bite gets you stuck quick.
 
However, because of my band I have learned so much. I am eating better foods. Yesterday when I hit WallyWorld for grocery day I noticed as I was placing my groceries on the checkout how my buying has changed. I buy very little from the interior of the store- the highly processed, sodium rich, high cal foods. Most of what is in my cart is water, water packs, yogurt, milk fresh meats, frozen and fresh veggies. I like this change.
 
Due to the change of what I am eating I feel better, I breath better, I move better, basically I am better. So my relationship with my band is way more love than hate.
 
It is so easy to get frustrated on this journey and blame our band and say we hate it, or it's not working, but before we say that we need to ask ourself are we working it. You car can't get you any where unless you drive it, you band won't get you to goal unless you work it. Yes, you can have bump ups and your car might even break down - but you must fix it and keep on truckin.
 
Everything including our band journey is a process. The band plays it's role, we must play ours, our doctor has theirs, and our nutrtionist has theirs. All the players must do their part or the journey gets off course.
 
Are you doing your part?

I attended support group last night, and then read CG's post this morning on want power has me thinking...
 
There is want, and then there is WANT. The problem is that we want it all, and society had told us, that we not only CAN have it, we DESERVE it. Ever seen a fad diet advertised "East want you want, and still loose weight"? The band for all it's power, doesn't replace our wants, at the most it mutes some of them.
 
I have had a rough couple of days, I hit a new low weight and immediately my head hunger took over and I tried to eat everything in sight. Well, I don't have to worry about that new low weight now. No, I didn't really gain, just excess fluid from jumping my sodium intake. But the point is there is a part of me that glories in my success wants to continue, and there is a part of me that is terrified of it and wants to go back to the old lifestyle.
 
Right now, I want to succeed, but the fear is that the greater the success the more terrible will be the tragedy of my eventual failure. Yes, I know this is not a productive thought process, but as we all know the band only works on your stomach, not your head.

Everyone always wants to know why you have to eat protein. PROTEIN PROTEIN PROTEIN is all we ever hear. Well I'm gonna try to make this as short and sweet as I can. When we are obese it doesnt matter if we eat protein because we have enough fat to burn for about 20 years worth. When you have weight loss surgery and you lose your fat stores, you will then start to lose lean muscle mass. Once you lose the muscle mass YOU CAN NOT GET IT BACK! 70 TO 90 GRAMS OF PROTEIN EVERY SINGLE DAY. (Sorry forgot to unlock caps and was not yelling). Before you put anything else in your mouth, you should be eating something filled with protein. If you can't eat meat then you have to find other things such as cottage cheese, tofu, beans, etc. If you lose your lean muscle you will be in trouble. Its not about just eating protein to burn fat, its about keeping your body healthy. If you chose to eat like crap then you can't blame anyone else when your muscle's don't work correctly. Also if you do not get enough protein you can become very vitamin B-12 deficient. Once damage has occurred from B-12 deficiency it is not reversable. I have seen patients become paralyzed from not having enough B-12 if that happens you will not get it back. Eat your protein. If you have to drink it then drink it but you must get in your protein.
Losing muscle mass from weight reduction can lead to harmful effects on your body, as well as problems with your weight-loss results.
 
You want to lose weight fast but please do it safely. Nothing worse then losing a lot of weight, lose your muscle mass and end up in a wheel chair. That is not what weight loss surgery is about by any means. You are given directions for a reason.

I was banded a little over a year ago, I've lost over 80 pounds and I am at my goal weight. I also drink wine every evening. I don’t hide this from anyone. I have posted such information several times and when I get PM’d about it I answer honestly.
 
I knew when I decided to get the band that I would have to change my life and I was more than willing to do just that. But, I was not willing to give up my wine. I enjoy wine, I like the taste. My husband & I often go wine tasting at some of the Texas wineries. So, I decided that wine was going to be a part of my lifestyle.
 
From day one (& before) I have enjoyed my evening wine. Yes, the evening of my surgery I had a glass.
 
I count the empty calories (110 calories for 5oz of wine, approximately) and I am careful. I know that wine relaxes the band right along with you. So if you drink too much and the munchies set in…..everything will go down & then some.
 
I am responsible with my wine. I don’t drink for the effect of the alcohol. I drink wine because of the taste.
 
You wonder, does my doctor know? Of course he does, I tell my doctor everything. Hiding information from your doctor only hurts you.
 
My thoughts are this, if you have something you love and you can manage it then you should enjoy it. Make it a part of your plan. I have a friend that has a treat once a week of their favorite fast food meal, and another who has a single serving bag of Cheetos every day. Depriving yourself will not work. If you are anything like me, you will get resentful and end up splurging and hating yourself after.
 
Enjoy your love, just manage it and you will succeed.

Ok, stress again.........
 
So this is a question I frequently want to ask people, when they want to be encouraging, but they really don't have a clue.
 
As I have said on this site before, I have had 3 miscarriages. My friends and family are aware of this also. Everyone says, oh it's already, you will have one, don't worry it'll happen when the times right, I just know you will have a little one next time. I always want to flip them off and say just how the h@## do you know, because I sure as heck don't?
 
I realize people mean well, but I have come to believe we are a "know it all" society. When we try and encourage others insert I "know" xyz will happen, when sometimes we just don't.
 
I have come to the point, where I want to be realistic. There are somethings I just don't have answers to and that isn't always a bad thing.
 
People tell me about my WLS to just stop stressing about my weight being stuck in the 190's for 4 months. Well, easier said that done! Some say oh, just keep doing what you are doing it will come down. Some well exercise more it will come off. Some say cut the carbs and you will loose it.
 
Well bottom line the ONLY truth I know is- if I eat less calories than I burn I will loose. However, there is a point when you eat two few calories and you body refuses to release the fat it already has- however there is A LOT of contraversery around this and how long it takes.
 
I get to the point where I worry I am stuck forever, will I lose anymore. Am I a failure?
 
The only person that can make me a failure is me because I define failure.
 
Also, and I am saying this to me- we need to be careful when talking with others to encourage realistically. If we feel for them in their situation whatever it may be say that you don't need to add to it- sometimes just knowing someone care is enough.
 
I don't know if anyone on this site I meet will be successful- I don't live with them or know their history. There are people here that have done so amazing and I wish I could be more like them (Carolina Girl and Missy here is your shout out), but I am me. My body is different, I lead a different life, I eat diffrently (we all have things we like and don't like) so I can't be like them. The only things I can say is what I know- we all have the power to be successful and we all have the power to fail- we must decide which one it will be.
 
People get offended if we are harsh, poor Carolina Girl gets picked on to much about this, but in my book sometimes we need the honesty to make us look at ourselves. You, me, anyone will not succeed in this if we continue living and doing as we did before. So why the heck do you expect anyone to say oh, it's okay to eat an entire pizza at one time- WTH? NO it's not ok. If you doctor tells you do xyz and you abc then no you DID NOT do right.
 
Wake up folks be honest, be realistic, and if it calls for it be harsh then do it- you might actually help someone.
 
While it pissed me off sometime ago when someone said oh there are worse things than never having kids. After I got over being pissed I realized it was true. Just because I don't have a child born to me doesn't mean I can't lead a full and amazing life. Now I appreciate that person for helping me come to terms with my reality even though it hurt at the time.

I had a difficult weekend. I've been stressing over a work deadline for the last week or two, but things are really coming to a head. In fact, I'm beginning to hear that whooshing sound a deadline makes as it goes shooting by me. It won't be the end of the world, as it's mainly a self imposed date, but I'm still frustrated with myself that I haven't been able to make it, so the stress is building. In the past, stress for me has always equalled overeating, so my head hunger has just been rising and rising lately.
 
Yesterday, it got the best of me. I ate and drank way too many calories. Admittedly not as many as I could have, but still way more than I needed. Knowing that bad news at this point would only make me that much more likely to want to quit, I deliberately did not do my weekly weigh in this morning. I do that every morning right after I get up, after I've gone to the bathroom but before I put on clothes, and I record the result of each Monday's scale readout. Today, I officially took the day off. Of course, I couldn't stay completely off the scale, but I waited a couple of hours and weighed myself with clothes on. That way, I can pretend the number is inaccurate. Of course, the number was up so I started to get down on myself,
 
Then, I realized something. I hadn't taken any measurements of myself in just over a month. Out came the tape measure. I don't take a ton of measurements, just three that are recorded in MFP, but I'm still really glad I remembered to do this. I've lost 3.3 inches! Knowing that was like a huge weight (no pun intended) lifted off my shoulders, because it means that what I'm doing is really making a noticeable difference. The numbers on the scale can get kind of abstract because they move up and down so easily and are influenced by so many things, like salt and water and TOM, that sometimes it doesn't feel like those losses are real. The ones on the measuring tape, though, those can't be disputed.
 
I really needed the good news today. It helped me to get my head back on straight so that I can take a deep breath and get back to work, both professionally and with my band. I know this journey won't be quick and it won't be easy, but sometimes a reminder really helps. Once a month measurements, which I had planned to do all along, gave me that reminder today, and boy, I needed that!

I have been out all day and saw much earlier or yesterday a question about hair loss. At my monthly support group tonight was the rep from Bariatric Advantage. Her name is, Pat, I think. Pat had bypass surgery 10 years ago. She still looks great. About 4 years ago she started to lose her hair. She had a blood test and her Ferritin showed up very low, around 2 and she said it should be around 40ish. She had to have some medical things done to her but her hair is very healthy now. So she said if you have hair loss get tested for this Ferritin. She also said you have to keep up with your annual blood work because people that have WLS do lose some vitamins and minerals and don't know it.
Have a great evening everyone.
Arlene

Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the 'someday I'll' philosophy.” Denis Waitley
 
 
 
I've often asked myself "What is it you're afraid of?" This is a scary question, because once asked, there is an implied responsibility to change something in our lives. Identifying what scares us can be difficult. One tool my counselor gave me was that after every response, I was to ask myself "Why" until I got to the point I had identified the root cause. In business we called this "drilling down" and it can truly be gut wrenching and painful.
 
An example of a root cause analysis might go like this:
*Why can't I lose weight? I eat more calories than I expend. Why? I'm always hungry. Why? I don't even think about how I feel. Why? I feel uncomfortable and want to eat when I think about how I feel. Why? I don't know how to change. Why? I haven't learned how to change the way I eat. Why? I'm afraid I will fail.
 
Root cause: fear of learning how to eat properly and take personal responsibility for success or failure.
 
This "personal responsibilty" issue is a big one. Many of us have been victims of abuse, neglect, crimes, etc. When we continue to live in the "victim suit", we give our abuser our power. We do this because we haven't faced the reality that someone we trusted and loved hurt us. Facing that reality can be more painful than living as a victim, or so we think. When we face the facts and hold our abuser responsible, there is a big shift in power and responsibility. We take ownership of our actions, feelings and well being and we give the guilt and responsibility for the abuse back where it belongs, with the person who hurt us. Sitting in a chair and telling a therapist that your mother didn't protect you from a predatory male in your family can be one of the most painful truths to acknowledge. The person who was responsible for nurturing, protecting, putting you ahead of herself, did not. I know, I've done it, it hurt like hell.
 
Once we acknowledge our truth, whatever it is, we take back the power to change our lives. We first work on the thoughts, the negative self-talk. Practice telling yourself that you are worth it, you are powerful, you will change one thing at a time. Maybe, this week, you give up one carb loaded treat you think you enjoy (I say think, because often we don't really enjoy them...it's a habit, not a pleasure). Next is the action step: Just do it! Throw it away if you have it in the house, then buy something healthy to eat as a substitute. Maybe you're the type of person who does it cold turkey...rid the house of ALL processed foods and beverages. Think of the power you take in doing this! Imagine yourself eating healthy nutritious foods and taking control of your own life. Action steps are the key in this process. WE CANNOT CHANGE ANYTHING WITHOUT A VERB. I think I can turns into I will when we add the action step.
 
My band journey, though not as long-lived as I would have liked, has been this type of process. I WANTED to lose weight, but I took no ACTION that would result in me losing weight. When I went on Medicare Disability, the opportunity to make this change became available and I jumped on it. I started calling different hospitals and WLS clinics to see if they accepted Medicare...that was a tough one. Finally, a really kind person at the University Hospital directed me to another local hospital who she knew took medicare for lapband or RNY. When I called to make an appointment, they got me in within a week. I took action. I took the power. I took personal responsibilty for my success.
 
I wouldn't say my weight loss journey was easy...it's had it challenges. My band was the perfect tool for me, keeping me free of hunger for 4-6 hours after a very small meal. Even empty, I'm rarely hungry. Losing my band and not being able to revise is extremely scary...I need to ask myself WHY.
 
Here we go again....

Today is my pre op appointment with the anestisiologist and my Doctor, Dr. Lolar. Im reading all the different forums and blogs and im getting so excited for the surgery on the 22 I have been waiting my WHOLE life for an opportunity like this finally!! Here we go!! The possibilities are endless!!!

So I have to admit, I'm not a fan of calories. Rather, counting calories. I am just no good at it. I cook everything myself, and have NEVER EVER found out how many calories are in what. I eat small amounts, I am not eating crap. And obviously I am not counting calories.
 
Today for supper I made an awesome deer chili. I ate one cup of it. Was so good thought I'd go back for seconds. There I was in the kitchen, spoon in hand, and I thought...What the heck are you doing?? So I put my bowl in the sink and I was done. But how many calories did I eat? I havnt a clue. 3 lbs. of deer meat, tomatoes, tomato sauce, and 2 cans of beans. Made a HUGE pan. But how many calories in just one cup? No idea.
 
See the thing is I dont even remember the nutrition lady telling me how many calories to eat in one day. Yes, I am pathetic....and lazy...about the calories anyway. Every one is talking about 800-1000 cal a day. I think thats what I am doing...but have no idea. I even tried the my fitness pal thing. NO internet service where I live unless I am at home with WIFI. So that does me no good when I'm not at home.
 
I really do eat good. Still just having a protein shake for breakfast...which I know has 160 calories. Having a cup of food for lunch (no calorie counting). Then the same for dinner. Maybe yougurt for a snack. Cannot stand the greek stuff so Yoplait light (90 cal). And usually I eat cottage cheese (80 cal?? per 1/2 cup) with one of my meals for more protein. So I know the store bought calorie content, just not what I cook calorie content. I'm not good at that. HMMMM..add all the ingrediants up, measure the whole pan of food, then divide to get one cup....UGHHHHH!!!
 
So here is what my goal is. This weekend going to Sam's going to get some fish that I can just prepare for myself (individual servings). Then surely I can measure 1/3 cup of veggies or some side dish and finally start counting what I am eating.
 
I know with my 11 year old son, the 22 year old nephew, and the hubby at home, this kind of supper wont do for them, I will continue to cook all the things they like, but for me, I have to change. Gotta do it. Because I am worth it.

It has been 3 weeks and 1 day since my surgery. I measured myself the night before. Boobs, waist, hips, arms, legs all. I cried. It was really so depressing. I knew how much I weighed, but when the tape measure BARELY goes around your midsection, that is a real downer.
 
I weigh myself at my personal doctors office on Thursdays. I could get on the scale at home, I just dont want to be a slave to it, so I dont even start. As of last Thursday, I was down 35. (I know You all know it already haha).
 
So today, my mom comes over, tells me how proud she is of me. She is one of my biggest fans and I love her so much. Well, She asks me if I have measured, well no Mom of course not, remember when I cried the last time?? So she thinks I need to and is excited to see so I give in. HOLY MOLY!! I have lost 2 inches EVERYWHERE!!! I dont know how that translates to poundage, but 2 flipping INCHES!! I just smiled!!
 
NO MORE TEARS FOR THIS GIRL!!!

Today has been a very hard day already!



With having my husband and daughter eating all the great foods that I would love to just join in on munching on; is very difficult.



But I have self control and I need to do this; that is what I am telling myself!!!


 

On a good note; there are going to be some very interesting items on my list that I have never tried or things I have not eaten since I was a child to shrink my liver
I am looking forward to these two weeks pre opp too go by really fast. Anyone have any great recipies for me just let me know ... Right now I am whilling to try anything that will keep me sain lol


I have heard writting about the progress, good and bad definitely helps with not building up stress and makes others feel good seeing their process and getting good comments from others as well.
... That is why I looked up a place to meet new people and to write things down as well.

I have 2 wonderful sons. Roger is the oldest, 38 and Frank is 34. Roger was born chicken breasted. He needed to have surgery to fix his chest at 2 1/2. If it was not fixed he could have had a heart attack by age 10, his heart was not in the right place and he was hunch backed from the chest problems. My husband asked the surgeon about risks (he was head of pediatric surgery at Boston Children's Hospital). The doctor said you can walk across the street and get killed. Since that time when any doctor has recommended surgery my husband don't really think of it. By the time Roger was 5 he had 4 different surgeries. He is perfect! Frank was born slightly chicken breasted but did not need the surgery because his heart was in the right place.
So this leads to why I am writing. There are pros and cons to everything. Last week a young man around 24ish had his wisdom teeth pulled and died. You never know when it's your time to go.
I love this site and enjoy reading about other's wonderful results, accomplishments and seeing their pictures. I am too computer challenged to put any pictures on, sorry. Writing that the Band is awful because you had a problem is sad but don't knock all of us.
A Boston hospital many many years ago did a research drug, turned out to be Merida, I signed up. It worked great for me until I stopped. In the study, in Boston and England they said 2 women had strokes. You know what, I didn't think about quitting because out of the 2500 people they were over 60 and with that many people there is sure to be health issues.
​Let's all think positive thoughts, that we are going to beat Obesity and get healthy and fit. I know I am doing it.
By the way I have had about a dozen different surgeries. From a small mole I got MRS. You never know what is going to happen.
Have a wonderful evening and super Tuesday-spring has arrived!!!!!! at least in Boston.
Arlene