☠carolinagirl☠

Wow you come here trying too help and give people advice and the crap all over you. I know I have been harsh. I know my faults but I try and be respectful. But good lord.

Surgeries going wrong/bad has been a topic lately. This can happen with any kind of procedures done by the top doctors and hospitals. About 3-4 years ago my dermatologist didn't like a small mole I had. I went to a top Boston hospital to have it removed. Because it was under the belly fat they had to tape my fat belly. I don't do well with tape and got tape burns, aloe took care of that. The mole was removed and I got an infection from the incision. The infection turned into MRSA (I hope I spelled it right). It took 3-4 different antibiotics until the right one was found to get me healed. I was at the hospital every 2-3 days to have them look at it. My husband had to clean it for me 2-3 times a day with saline and medicines. That was suppose to be a no brainer removal. So you just never know. I have had zero problems with the BAND!! Everyone is different. Please stop knocking the Band, I love it, it helps me be under control of my intakes etc. Yesterday I had a stuck moment, it sucks when that happens. I walked and then burped and was fine. My fault, not the band, it just reminds me to be more perfect. No one is perfect.
Enjoy your weekend everyone. Stay dry-Boston is heavy rain for the next 24 hours.
Arlene aka Eye Candy

Ok, I just went in for my 1 year post-op. June 22 will be my one year, but due to scheduling I went early.
 
Good news- I have lost 60 lbs since pre-op. I was down 7 lbs from my last fill in Feb (even though it doesn't feel like it). Every thing looks great- had floro fill done.
 
I would like to share a few things my doc stressed to me while I was there that painted a good picture of how life should be now....
 
1- I MUST see him at least once a year for a floro check of my band, to make sure I am not having any problems.
 
2- Eat 5 meals a day. This will keep my metabolism going and give me enough calories.
 
3- Eat only a cup at a time. His picture was: you use to have a 4 lane highway, now you have a one lane pig path- no more tractor trailers.
 
4- Small bites. A bite is the size of a peanut M&M and only 3 per min.
 
5- Sips of water. A sip is half a cough syrup cup - again only 3 per min.
 
6- Protein first then fiber.
 
Going in today I kinda felt like I did at the start of the journey, excited and waiting to get going. Not sure why I lost that fire before, but glad I found it again.

I have thought about writing this blog all day long. Part of me says don’t write it, you are a success and you don’t want people thinking you slip up and fail. The other part of me says write this, maybe this will tell others that this journey is not easy and even after reaching goal & being declared a success you still struggle…
 
‘The other part’ won, so here goes….
 
I have always been called strong, never showing my weakness or emotions. It is a skill I learned early in life, build a protective barrier around you so no one can know how you feel or hurt you. The way I coped with this barrier was with food, it got me to 250 pounds….
When I started my weight loss journey I recognized this habit. That being said doesn’t mean that the habit went away or that it doesn’t get the best of me still.
Over the last couple of weeks I have experienced events in my life that caused me to retreat to my protected barrier and to comfort myself with junk food (ice cream, etc…).
 
Now, those closest to me know me well enough to see through the barrier and last night my husband did just that. He asked what was going on and I caved, I told him everything that was causing my stress, my work, my friends, and the whole lot. I had a good cry and we talked about how I could try and cope with things. I also confessed the eating that I had done and do you know what he did? He said, “Well trash is picked up tomorrow morning” and went into the kitchen, threw away all the trigger foods that I had mentioned. When he came back in he said to me, “You are worth so much more than any of that junk food. From now on there will be no junk in this house.” God, I love this man. I am so lucky to have such great family support.
 
Then, this morning one of my most dear friends asked me what was up. And again I caved and told her everything. Know what she said? “Done now….back on track” and then she said, “It is what it is; pull up those panties, put on those heels and work it!” Thanks princess, I needed to hear that. I am so lucky to have such great friends supporting me.
 
I know I can do this and I will do this for the rest of my life. I will have days and times where I stumble and fall. But, I will get myself up, brush myself off and keep going. Because I WANT this!
 
I guess what I am trying to say is that even the success stories (the veterans) make mistakes, have bad days, and go backwards. The important thing is to identify the problem and find a solution. Then get your ass back on track.
 
Thant is exactly what I am doing.

It is to true that old habits die hard. It doesn't seem to matter how long ago you put them away, you thought for good, they will still on occassion rear their ugly head. If we are not on the look out for them, it is very easy to fall prey.
 
This weekend, the hubs and I hosted my mom's 65 birthday party. I had about 35 people at my house. While it was an awesome night and every one had fun, I realized that I screwed up.
 
Our menu was hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill, sides were: chips, tater salad, cole slaw, baked beans, mac and cheese. I thought ahead enough to know I couldn't do the bread, so that was fine, I bought skinless hot dogs so I could have one with a little slaw on the side. I did good in the fact that I avoid the chips, mac and cheese, and tater salad. I had a small spoon of baked beans.
 
I was having a great time. I ate slowly- no stuck problems. Then it was dessert time. I had made a homemade apple cobbler and peach cobbler and had purchased a beautiful cake from BJ's. I also had ice cream to go with these. I ate a peice of cake and a spoon of ice cream on the side.
 
Granted in days past I would have eaten double, maybe triple what I ate that night. But, I still over did it. My band is really loose right now and that makes it really easy to slip up. (My appointment is Thursday- yeah) But, I can't blame my band, it is me, my choice. But, honestly I wasn't even thinking.
 
We had a ton of cake left and chips and burgers. I sent left overs home with my brothers being that one has 5 kids at home and the other has 3 at home. I did keep one small square of cake for me and my hubs to share- shouldn't have done that.
 
Yesterday, I woke up with the mother of all migraines. I managed to stay up right long enough to feed the dogs and tell the hubs I was going back to bed. I stayed their till noon. I got up cleaned my house up from the party the night before and the head ache returned, I hit the couch. I hardly moved yesterday. Felt like crap.
 
This morning I felt better- got up and hit the scale before heading out to work. 191.3- well the weekend certainly showing it's self. 3 lbs up for the lowest. I keep bouncing between 188 and 191 for the past 3 weeks.
 
I know I can do better, I should do better, I want to do better- but I keep slipping up. At the moment I am like screw it I want this- then I feel aweful. Granted I don't slip to bad, but a slip is a slip and bad either way.
 
I worry that I will never drop below this weight. Is this where I am destined to stay? Will I self-sabatage myself more? How do I get back on track and stay there?
 
You may say, well you have to do it, you have to want it. I do want it and I know I have to do it- but it is not easy, WLS is NOT the easy way out.

Don't you just love the douter?? the one who say "it a cheet you would have lost anyways" Gosh pepole to the researcher it not a cheat it hard work.
 
Okay so i was selected form 1000 to the 25 to the Zumba informal I mean after all no one love Zumba more then me. So here i was being interviewed and she tell me to turn of the carama. And said Do you really think it was zumba and not the band that changed you. You would have loosed just sitting on the couch after all you have a band. I wish it were that easy,
 
So here my reprocess se " do you research 80 % of all people who have weight loss surgery gain it back. I can eat around my band if i want to my it might recerct me in some ways but in other it gives me a lot of freedom. The band is a tool you get out of it what you put into it. I put every thing i have into it and right when i done i think i have nothing more to give I give it a little more. I did not and will throw in the towel I just use it to wipe up the sweet and keep going. Right when i think I can't give any more to this I always find just a little bit more some were. This is Hard work Hard Hard work .I need to be strong not only physically but mental too. To do what have done changed my life from sitting on a couch to teaching Zumba, Spin, body pump, cross fit The gym i work at I have a waiting list of people who want me to be there trainer so i can do what i did to my self to them. Some day I wish I did not have to work so hard and could sitt on a in an office some were an a coshie chair must be nice huh ? So the answer is it a not a cheat it is detraction demonstration and given it all i got and Just a little more .
 
 
So i found my self a good zumba class and let it getaway from me becuse something about the music alway makes me feel better

With so many things to think about on this lap band journey, I feel like I've forgotten some of the rules that could be leading me to more weight loss. One commenter on my last post brought it to my attention that I need to make sure I get my daily protein amount in ... a rule I forgot about.
 
And it makes me wonder, what other rules am I neglecting?
1. eat only 1 cup of food
2. eat all of your protein first, then veggies, then carbs
3. don't drink with your meals
4. get in your required XX grams of protein per day
5. take your multi vitamin supplments
6. dont eat within 2 hours of laying down
 
All of these rules Ive totally disregarded at one point or another, on multiple occasions and with some frequency.
 
Well for the past 3 days I've met my protein requirement. I got a fill on Thursday and I'm down 3 lbs ... I guess they really do tell us all of this stuff for a reason.

So today I went to the dietitian and then the doctor. Went well. The doctor said I have lost 60% of my fat and he wished all his patients lost that much. I was banded July 30th, so it is 10 months ago. He said if I stay at this weight the rest of my life, he will be happy. I want to lose more but don't know how much. I did not have a fill today. I was told I have 1.8 in my band and that was 3 fills. My doctor does slow and it works. I am down 10 pounds since February and he was fine with that.
I have bad allergies and so I bought Walgreen's children's liquid and the sugar in it has given me stomach problems. The doctor told me to try swallowing the small pills I have and said the worse thing is I will throw it up.
I don't need to see the doctor for 2 months. I feel wonderful about today's visits.
:wub: Everyone have a wonderful weekend.
Arlene

Spent a week here http://www.nps.gov/meve/index.htm. Truly an amazing place and one that I would recommend to anyone visiting this part of our nation. I gave up logging after the first day, tried to make good choices and stay active, but found this little Mexican restaurant and the food was amazing, including something new to me that the owner called "Mexican Coleslaw", I am going to have to work on re-creating his version of it. Got on the scale for the first time in a week and the verdict is, up 5 pounds. Not a big deal, since I know I didn't eat 21K extra calories, I know that the weight is water and will soon go away now that I am back on my regular eating schedule.
 
A couple of NSV's:
 
1. Despite the altitude (7-8K), I never ran out of breath on our hikes.
2. One tour through a cliff dwelling required that we crawl out a tunnel with an 18" opening and I doubt that I would have fit 6 months ago.

Now that I have your attention… so what did I do?
 
See what had happened was….. I over did it this past weekend. Not with eating but with my movements. It’s was graduation weekend was I got invited to so many parties and I wanted to show everyone my support. One thing about me I am always willing to help anyone out and I am stubborn! So I Saturday I was going a lot of lifting, carrying, and cleaning.
Sunday I woke up and my main incision was swollen and it was hurting bad. It felt like the first 3 days after my surgery. So I toughen up and went to my last graduation party for the weekend. I really didn’t an appetite on Saturday and Sunday because I barely ate but I had plenty of water.
Monday I just stayed home a relaxed. I talked to my dad and thank him for his service and we talk about the Detroit Red Wings and Chicago Blackhawks game. (Not only I am a St. Louis Blues fan but I am a Red Wings fan too) I did a 5 min workout and spent the rest of the day on my couch.
 
Yesterday I called my surgeon office and told them about how I over did it this past weekend and about the swelling on my main incision. They told me it was from me lifting and carrying things and I need to take it easy for the next 3 days. I told them I would and thank them. But around 5pm I noticed that had a stain on my shirt so I lift up my shirt and noticed that my main incision was leaking! I start freaking out because all my incision was healed! So I called my surgeon office again explain what was going on. The asked me a series of questions to make sure that I didn’t have an infection. Thankfully I didn’t my incision stop leaking about 7pm.
 
I hear some of you guys saying “didn’t I tell you to take it easy!” This is time I hear ya this scared the mess out of me. I don’t want to do the pre op diet ever again unless this band is getting removed!
 
On the plus side I heard from my Bestie Lesley this morning we talk for 15 minutes and it was worth it!
 
Thanks for reading.

Happy Memorial Day to everyone and thank you to all who have served us to protect us.
So today I went dreaded swim suit shopping. My condo has a pool that just opened, too cold in Boston right now but Thursday- Saturday it will be 90 out.
I like the 2 piece type, shorts and a top that hangs over. I tried on about 12 tops at JCPenney and about 4 bottoms. The bottoms were great but the tops looked like sh*t. So then I went to Macy's and tried on just 2 there and bought a suit. The bottom is pants with an over skirt, looks great, never tried one on before. The top is the type I like. MIL was very sweet and bought it for me. I usually don't spend a lot on swim suits especially when losing weight but this should fit the whole summer unless I have massive weight loss.
The past 2 years I have been buying on line from Swimsuitsforall. Their prices are great and they have a large assortment of styles and sizes. I have even bought cover ups from them.
When I looked in the mirror, OMG!, my thighs are so flabby. I told hub, I need a thigh /body lift. I like to wear shorts in the hot summer, too, so he suggested shorts that come to the knees. I don't do carpi, pants at all.
I hope you all have a great swim suit buying day of a smaller size with a smile on your face, men, too.
Arlene

I am so sick of playing by the band rules; I just want to break one or two of them. Eat a big huge meal, take big bites, or wolf food down in ten minutes flat.
 
Wish I could have a break and not think about my food choices, my portion size, how I eat, my water intake, and exercise, ugh….
 
Calgon take me away!
 
Do you feel that way some days? I’m sure we all do. So how do we get past this?
 
There are some who have reached their goal and have been maintaining for years. They say they think like a thin person. They never think of food.
 
Will I ever be like that?
 
I reached my goal in December and have been maintaining since then.
 
Has it been easy? NO.
 
It has been the most difficult part of my journey so far. But, I won’t give up because I look in the mirror and I really like the person that looks back at me.
 
So, I will continue to play the game. I will make health food choices, take small bites (hubby calls them band-bites), drink water and exercise. I will do this for the rest of my life because I am worth it!

"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
 
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
 
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Even though I work in computers now with the school system, my college degree was actually Counseling with a concentration in Substance Abuse.
 
While working at a drug treatment center I worked with patients on developing coping skills to help them deal with cravings to use. We would tell them, they must avoid people, places and things that are triggers; some to the point of having to live some where other than where they came from.
 
During that time I was in denial that I myself was an addict, but my drug of choice was food. Unfortunatly, I can't avoid food. I must eat, but as I continue on the self reflective journey I have been on of late, I realize that I have food triggers. Cookies- I love them, they are buttery and chewy and oh so good. If I make cookies and eat one, I can't stop- I must eat more. Ice Cream is another problem, I love ice cream, any shape or form- cones, cups, shakes- yum. So I know, no ice cream should be kept in the house because I won't stop until it is all gone.
 
Now you may say, where is you will power, where is your want power? I do want to lose weight, but there are times where it is like an out of body experience, I realize what I am doing is wrong and I will regret it, but I can't stop- this is classic addict behavior.
 
If you are able to use your want power to prevent you from ever slipping up- awesome for you- but addicts many times can not rely strictly on that.
 
I am actully going back and reading some of my old college textbooks to help myself with this addiction. While I have lost a little more than half of what I want to lose, in order for me to lose more and here is the key- keep it off- I must figure out my triggers and develop coping skills for dealing with these.
 
Is this journey easy- heck no! Will it be worth it- heck yes. But, I feel I will be much more successful long term now that I am looking at this for what it is! Just like drug, tobacco, alcohol addiction is a life long battle- so is food addiction.
 
For those of you who what I am saying rings true, take a look at yourself- what are your triggers- what can you do to cope with them.
 
So with that- Hello, my name is Kim and I am a foodaholic.

Yup I cheeked it on 4 different scales okay who wants to Zumba with me now

I am still on my learning journey and getting back on track after gaining 3 lbs. This may not sound like much to you, but I know that 3 ends up as 6, which will end up as 12 if I don't nip it in the bud now.
 
When I left work yesterday I headed for my weekly grocery trip. I had my list and my meal plan. Got very little processed stuff, mostly meat and veggies, and the fur kid food. Came home, unload and unpacked and put everything up. I started our dinner - we had chicken alfredo (totally homemade using spagetti squash and my from scratch low fat/cal sauce with lots of veggies). I went and weeded my garden while waiting for the hubs to get home (I got baby squash and cucumbers). Once he got home, we ate (left overs galore- we both ate and we both have lunch for today and I have enough for tomorrow to). I did dishes and then headed out to cut the grass. We have a .25 acre yard and I push mow it. After finishing that I put down my fire ant treatment being that I was attacked. Then in the house to set up the next days "stuff", shower and spends some time with the hubs. So as you see my afternoon was full, this is a normal day in my life- I am pretty much moving and doing something all day except when I have to sit at my desk at work.
 
After the busy day, I settled down with the hubs to watch a little TV. I was already 9. After a few min of laying there in the chaise lounge I started thinking oh, I need a snack. I deserve it, after all I push mowed the lawn. Then the little voice came from deep inside that ask, are you really hungry? The answer was honestly NO- head hunger was creeping in. I squashed that real quick- got a bottle of water and sucked it down hung out with the hubs and my fur babies for a while longer before hitting the sheets.
 
The point to all of this is, it doesn't matter how long post op you are, how long you have done things right, or how committed you are- things will always pop up to make us want to eat. We have a problem- we want more food than we need. The only way for me to lose weight and keep it off is to recongnize these problem times and areas, face them and squash them.
 
Normally, I would go in for a fill, I haven't had one since Feb. However, I know I still get stuck a lot so I am not sure a fill is the best route for me right now. I will go in next month for my 1 year follow up and let them check it then, if the doc says it's time for another fill, then we will do it, because he is the expert. While a fill might help me deal with these things, at some point I must face the demons of my eating problems and lean to cope.
 
I encourage everyone no matter where you are along this journey to keep your eyes open and be on the watch for these little demons to creep in. They will, for some more than others, but if we keep our eyes open and are mindful of them we will beat them and come out on top.
 
When I was working in a drug treatment center, I often times talked to my patients about developing coping skills. Things to do when they were craving their drug of choice, well I must do the same thing when I am craving or wanting food when I don't need it.
 
Maybe I am slow on the take off, maybe I wasn't 100% ready when I had surgery. But, I am waking up from a fog and realizing I have a problem with food and I must deal with it now before it gets me. I have a tool to help me with this, it is up to me to use it and to develop other tools to deal with my addiction.

Here are some things that I need to admit:
 
1- I can not do this journey alone. My husband is awesome and so very supportive, but he isn't on the same path as me and it's makes it difficult to see him eating certain things and I have to tell myself no. I don't have anyone to call and vent to or talk me down. I thought I could do it with his support, but I need support from those on the same wagon train.
 
2- I am addicted to food. When all else fails eat. When you are sad, happy, mad, glad, worried, sleepy eat.
 
3- The only thing to blame for me not having lost more weight is me, myself and I. I choose to eat things I shouldn't have and more than I should have.
 
4- I am a master of excuses. If you have something you don't want to do, let me know I can give you 100 different excuses for not.
 
5- I have good intetions, but have trouble following through. I often "plan" to do XYZ, but then when the time comes, the excuses come.
 
I am starting to work on these. The journey is an ever evolving learning process. I have hidden and ignored a lot of things above, but I must face them now in order to move forward.
 
The last week bad decisions have now shown up on the scale. This morning as I stared down at the scale shining 191, I wanted to kick my butt. I made bad choices and I am now 3 lbs up. To many that may not seem bad, but for me it is a wake up call.
 
I have got to turn this thing around, I have got to reset. This started with me making a menu plan again last night. This way I will know what I will be eating and have less chance of making unhealhty things. I also made my lunches for the remainder of the week and packaged my breakfast, so all I have to do is pick and go. When I did this a few weeks ago it really worked, then life hit me and fell down.

even though i lost all the wait i still struggle with self image issues. In my mind i see my self as as Big even though my paints size is a 4/6 in my mind i wear an 18. I hold up cloths in the store and look at them and say no way and go back to the pluse sizes it a long i mean hour and hours long process for me to get cloths. The weather is warming up hear in Ma and i have no shorts So i had to get some i just could not belve i was this size i could even shop in the juiors and did get a juniors dress but it just so hard. I think alot of pepole do not understand how it a daily stugle for alot of us I look at my refection and I start hating my self i can tell you everything wrong about me .
 
I spend 90 % of my time thinking about food and feeling bad and that i need to extersize it off. but most pepole have no idea.That this is a strugle for me they think that the band sloved everything boom it all fixed in the real life no it not fixed. they have no idea how hard i work how meny hours i spend working at this.

I've been banded for a little over a year now and I can remember when I attended my first seminar in October 2011 there was so many potential band patients. As time went on and I attended support meetings and gastric patients always far out numbered bandsters but there was still a lot of people. So now my Wife has begun her journey and is using the same center I used but a different Doctor. Doctor who was giving the seminar discussed all three option as they now offer the Sleeve along with the band and bypass. As I was taking in all the information it became quite clear that the band has fallen out of favor with the Doctors in the center. They'll still do Bands if that is what the patient wants. At one point the Doctor said "On average our patients lose 30 pounds in year one where the other surgeries have a higher success rate".
 
Needless to say I disputed those numbers and then privately told the Doctor I believe she was being unfair with her assessment and then I questioned her that out of the number she is using how many were due to non-compliance vs actual complications/failures? Her answer was bluntly "That is why I like to push for the Sleeve over band as it requires less attention". Sounds pretty bias to me!! I then said so what you're saying is getting the Sleeve means it is successful regardless of the effort of the patient? And her reply was "Well there will always be guidelines and good choices to be made in order to be successful". .At that point I had enough and it sounded like she was blowing me off.
 
I continue to follow up with my Doctor and I still attend certain support meetings but I can sadly see band patients being a thing of the past. I attend as a patient advocate in what is called a Panel of Experts which is made up of post op patients with at least more than 9 months of experience. I sit on this panel with bypass and sleeve patients. It is designed for preop to ask anything they want to the post ops without any presence from the Center. Basically a patient to patient candid talk. I will tell you the last one I had been to consisted of about 20 people and 2 were potential bandsters. I think I ended up answering 3 or 4 questions while listening to the Sleeve and Gastric speak.

today is day 1 of getting back on the right track. Good so far, turned down a bad breakfast idea... good for me.
Breakfast is Coffee, 1/2 sausage patty.

I went to my LB support group last and the subject was Plateaus and and one of the comments is that sometimes a plateau will turn into an avalanche of weight gain. Now there is absolutely no logic in the world to the thought process that say "I'm not loosing, so I will gain weight instead", yet, I totally, totally have done that, as have many of the others on this forum.
 
It is similar to the logic that we use that says, "I failed at one meal, so I might as well blow the whole day and eat like a pig". That is like saying, I made a mistake in my checkbook and I am 10.00 overdrawn, so I am might as well go out and buy a new TV!
 
I walked away from the support group with reminded that much of what we are doing in our journey revolves around our mind, rather than around our stomach....Now if only there was a band for our brain
 
BTW, I met a nice lady there who recognized me from the forums, but forgot to ask her user name.

It has been a bad day, a really bad day as I deal with a family member that has severe emotional/psychological problems. As I drove away from their home my mind kept ticking through the things that would dull some of the pain I was feeling, and everyone of them revolved around food. Hell, I have a bottle of good Irish Whiskey downstairs in my office, and while I will probably pour myself a stiff drink after the kids are down for the evening, it isn't nearly as attractive in my mind as taking the family out for BBQ and eating until I am so full that it hurts. Is it any wonder diets don't work for us, when food has become a drug that we use to dull the pain that comes with living?
 
Well, the good news is, as my mind ticked through my options I knew that those that dealt with food really weren't an option. After getting stuck last night, I am not willing to piss off Mistress Band two days in a row, and to tell the truth since being banded, I know that using food as a drug will only make me feel worse and I will still have the family matter to deal with with the guilt of having indulged in emotional eating added to it.
 
So, here I sit with my glass of crystal light lemonade, writing a blog entry for those who have helped me on this forum. Thanks for listening.

I'm not sure why and I'm not sure how, but early on in my life I learned to lie to myself about many things, but most importantly about what I ate. It is one of the things that I am having to unlearn in order for my band to work for me.
 
Today, even though I ate less than anyone at the table, I over ate and I'm not ashamed, I'm not guilty. I made a choice, and went past my soft stop. Yes I was uncomfortable. No, I didn't PB or vomit. No I didn't stretch my pouch or cause my band to slip.
 
But the important part, I am not going to lie to myself about what I did. I am going to log the calories (as best I can), I am going to eat lightly tonight (protein shake) and I am going to go back to my normal eating pattern because if I eat like I did today on a regular basis I won't lose any more weight.

Put re-heated steak on the list of this that Mistress Band will punish me if I try and eat. Worst stuck episode yet, but it is cleared and instead of steak, I had a protein shake for dinner.

I became the proud owner of a Realize band on April 16, 2012. My band and I have had (like most) a love/hate relationship at times but even at the rockiest of times I've had no regrets. As time has gone on the 'novelty' of having the band has worn off. Worn off in a sense that we have become one.
 
I have lost a ton of weight so far but honestly as happy as I am about that it is not what amazes me the most. What amazes me is the way I look at food now. I am 46 years old and have been overweight since I was a little boy. I use to plan my binges. I was never one for eating huge portioned meals but I was a severe junk food junky. I would eat my dinner with anticipation that I had Cheez-its, ice cream and soda waiting for me as part of my nightly ritual. I wouldn't be satisfied until the 1 pound box of Cheez-its was gone and the half gallon of ice cream heavily dented if not empty. Next day or every other day I would be going to the store to replenish.
 
For the first time in my life I felt I wasn't controlled by food. I have had some strange moments in this journey where I felt like something was missing....There was times when I would be sitting there while watching t.v or whatever it was I might be doing and thinking 'I am bored and I don't recall every being this bored before' and I would get up and go do something. This was my AH HA moment..that moment when you feel liberated, that moment when you think my god what happened? My band had released me from years of food imprisonment.
 
As time has gone on my appetite is almost non existent. I am amazed that I have not battled head hunger at all. I hope this is not a fluke.
 
I still battle with my laziness but at least food is not a factor. Most of my weight loss has been with minimal exercise and it is something I am working on. Now that the nice weather is here I have been going out for 1 mile walks during my lunch hour. I remember a time when I couldn't walk the grocery store for 10 minutes and now I easily do a mile in 20 minutes. I am going to work on increasing the distance. I am doing a 5K Walk for Cancer in September.
 
So was the band worth it? (in my best Adam Sandler voice) Hell yeah!!