☠carolinagirl☠

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wKyXA_nMVQ

This video explain what been going on with me in the past 2 weeks. I am such a young old head! I am going to warn you guys I am going to be venting! So why I do I hate fake people because they are stabbers and lairs. I know most of my flaws but I will say this I am not fake! The only thing that is fake about me is the hair weave that is in my hair!
So what happened? One on my good friend (coworker) had a house fire 2 weekends ago and lost everything. Last Monday I came into work and my fellow coworkers ask did I hear what happened to my friend? I thought he died or something but my coworkers filled me in on what happened. So I started calling our friends outside of work to see if he was okay. Then I called my boss to let him know what happened.
Finally my partner in crime (my friend) called me. I was so happy to hear from him! To give you a little background He supported me during my decision process of getting the lap band. He called me every day when I was out for my surgery to check on me. So I took this one to heart.
Later on that day I went up stair to talk to someone who I thought who was my friend. She asked me did I hear what happened to my friend. I close her office door and told her I was so upset that I had to take a Xanax and that he was okay. The only reason I closed her door was because I didn’t want her neighbors to know that I am on Xanax
When I got back to my office I received a phone call from one of her wannabe bosses. This girl went a told her wannabe boss that I told her what happen to my friend. So basically he didn’t know about it and I was accused telling a couple of people what happened to my friend. Well that is half true I only told people who I thought who heard from him or knew how to get ahold of them and the rest was all hearsay.
Anyway as soon as I got off the phone I started to cry I was so upset that I didn’t eat lunch. My mentor ended up calming me down and I proceeded on with my day. I am hurt because I thought those two people were team players but they are not. I have done nothing to them to get this type of treatment from them. So I prayed on this and forgave them but I will forgive them because this will take some time.
Moving forward….
Even though they upset me I didn’t go back to my old habit Instead of 2 big girl bottles of wine I only had two glasses. I ended up seeing my friend last Friday I brought him some comfort food and gave him a cooler full of his favorite beers. Also we raised $1415 in cash and over $280 worth gifts cards for him. That came from our group of friends. We all started crying when we finish counting the money. It was very emotional for us.
All about me…
I am slowly breaking out from my shell about me and buying new clothes. Since my last entry I was a size 16 but mentally I am still my old size 20. It took me a week to final wear the clothes I brought 2 weeks ago! Yesterday I decided to wear one of my outfits and I was getting so much attention… and it felt good!
I also started running (jogging) and I am averaging 3 miles in 30 mins. Starting next month I want to start working on my arms. My goal is to have arms like Michelle Obama! I am 59 pounds lighter and life is good!

Thanks for reading.

This weekend brought an end to the preserving of my spring/summer garden (except for the okra which will produce thru September). It was a good year:
 
137 pounds of Zucchini (15 plants)
104 pounds of Yellow Squash (15 plants)
30 ½ pounds of Patty Pan Squash (5 plants)
43 ½ pounds of cucumbers (5 plants)
73 pounds of Tomatoes (10 plants)
4 bushels of pears (2 trees)
 
I spent the summer preserving all this every way I could: pickles, relishes, preserves, marmalades, minced meat, pie fillings, canned tomatoes, canned pears, frozen roasted tomatoes, frozen squash, casseroles, zucchini bread, zucchini cake, zucchini hummus, zucchini cobbler (tastes like apple!)… You name it! It’s been nonstop!!
 
What does this have to do with the band? You wonder…… EVERYTHING!
 
Pre band I could not have done a fourth of what I did this summer. I couldn’t cook dinner in the summer without sweating like a pig. I would have a towel around my neck wiping the sweat off my face before it dripped into the pan (for reals!). I would have to sit down every five minutes because my back was hurting. I hated working in the kitchen and doing anything outside forget it.
 
My husband use to do all the work on the land, I couldn’t physically help him…..
 
I don’t exercise, I hate the gym and any formal exercise routine. It’s never worked for me….. but I move. I move all the time. I walk and take the stairs as much as I can at work. Every day when I get home I have to feed the chickens, pick produce from the garden, pull weeds, etc. And the weekends are full of chores too, cleaning chicken coops, mowing lawns, pulling more weeds, building goat shelters….
 
I have so much energy now that all this work is nothing, just life on my farm. Just last night my husband asked me…
 
“So what is my zucchini mama gonna do next?”…….hummmmm

I just got back from vacation at Yellowstone and like many banders I was tighter while at the higher altitude, and discovered that I felt better. So since I had a LB fill appointment this morning, I had them tweak my band with a .25 cc fill. But back to liquids for today and soft for tomorrow.

By: John J. DeBarros, M.D., FACS, FASMBS
 
Gastric banding has been an extremely safe and popular weight loss surgery for many years now. At Weight Loss Institute of Arizona, we have observed that LAP-BAND® surgery helps our Phoenix, Tempe, and Tucson weight loss patients to achieve a dramatic shift not only in their health, but also in the way they live their lives.
 
As I explain to my patients, and as has proven true in case after case for years, the most successful LAP-BAND patients make a commitment on a daily basis to live a healthier lifestyle. In order to lose a lot of weight and keep it off, there are 2 major lifestyle factors patients must think about each day.
 
The first is diet. Although LAP-BAND surgery imposes physical limitations on how much a person can eat in a single sitting, that patient must also make good nutrition decisions for the weight loss to be dramatic. The procedure alone is not enough. Patients should eat small, frequent meals packed with low-fat proteins, fruits and vegetables, and no empty calories. This can be a huge adjustment for an overweight patient who has spent a lifetime developing bad eating habits, but patients have a wealth of support available. Your weight loss doctors should help you set up a fool-proof diet plan and connect you with resources such as support groups.
 
The other lifestyle factor that a patient must consider is exercise, which can also be a major adjustment. Ideally, a patient begins good eating and exercise habits before surgery and then carries them over after the procedure. It’s common, though, for patients to fall off the exercise wagon once they have surgery. Again, support can help. Friends and family, a good gym, or simply a walking buddy can make a world of difference.
 
These changes to a patient’s lifestyle require a daily commitment, but they also come with great rewards: more energy, more confidence, and better health.

Though I often read the blogs, I rarely write my own.....
 
Well, this time is different!!!!
 
This weekend my fiance and I went to Six Flags Great America with my daughter and 2 of his kids. He hadn't been to an amusement park in over 20 years. For me, it hasn't been that long since I have been there (it's only 45 minutes away). I have been there and to several other amusement parks through road trips with the kids and family as well. I always wanted my kids to have fun, even though I had to wait while they went on the rides as I was too big to ride. My kids always had a great time but I felt an emptiness that I could only stand on the sidelines and not have fun WITH them.
 
In addition, my sister ended up meeting us up there yesterday with her boys and husband. My b.i.l. is quite overweight and unable to go on the rides. Of course, he and my sister gave other reasons, but having been there... I got it. It was sad knowing that was ME for so many years.
 
Well, a year after being banded and down 80lbs. I WENT ON THE FREAKING RIDES AND I FIT!!! The best part of the day was going on XFlight w/ my daughter, for the first time, and her looking over at me, doing a fist pump and saying she was proud of me and asking if I was excited. HECK YAH I was. I even rode the go karts and bumper cars w/ my fiance's son and have always avoided those as well as the seatbelt wouldn't fit!
 
I am still a ways from goal, but this was a great reminder of what I have been missing out on in life and how much more this is than just losing weight. We walked the park for 12 hours (yes, from open - to close) and though I was exhausted, I DID IT!!
 
YAY, ME!!!

Well we finally settled on our new home which was a nightmare to say the least, but I am very happy with our beautiful home. Now I have a nice swimming pool to get in so the movements won't hurt as much. This fibro has really taken a toll on me but other then that and my wonderful husband who has done so much, I am fine. The pain at times is unbearable but it is something I just have to live with. As far as my band its still doing its job. I'm stable now. Could lose some more but I really don't care one way or the other if I do or don't. Unless I ever get a tummy tuck I will always have that apron. It's not huge but it bothers me. Oh well clothes hide things well lol. I'm looking for a less physically stressful job because my doctor said if I don't stop lifting and pulling and pushing patients my pain will never get better. So I have been looking around for something a little less stressful. I was checking in so my friends know I am still alive lol. Just relaxing today and watching Hulu waiting for the pool to get cleared up this week so I can jump in it. Here are some pictures of the house.

Happy Sunday night. As most of you know last Tuesday was my one year banding. On Friday I saw my PCP and then my surgeon. They are both happy with me.
My surgeon told me I am perfect with my under 2cc's in my band and said I don't need any more. When I was banded, my band did not have any saline in it. Very interesting how every doctor does their 'own' thing and we can not compare. I see so many people complain that they need another fill, another fill next month, why? Are you doing the right thing? This past week I ate too fast, 3 times and had to go walking. My fault, no one else's. I do not throw up ever, even with the flu, I don't.
The doctor told me I really need to exercise more. I had complained that my muffin top is still big. He is very happy with me and I see him again in 2 months. I would love to be around 180-185 by then. I just need to move my fat ass and muffin top.
This week I am going to a cousins reunion on Cape Cod, Wednesday. I live about 1-1 1/2 hours from there. Then Thursday, Newport, RI to visit a cousin from my husband's side. Great places to visit and Newport is the best for walking around.
Have a great evening.
Arlene

My nephew Benjamin got married this weekend in California and I was able to fly out there. This was the first time I have flown with Yellow Rose (my band). Jonathon (another nephew) and I flew out Friday morning arriving in California around lunchtime. As we are exiting the plane Jonathon requested In & Out Burgers for lunch (the greasiest burgers in town!). We retrieved our rental car and headed south to my brother’s house (via In & Out). We collected burgers for all the kids. I had no urge for a burger as Yellow Rose was letting me know she did not like flying….
 
Once we arrived, burgers delivered, my sister-in-law asked if I wanted anything for lunch (seeing that I didn’t have a burger). Yes, I was hungry but I knew that I couldn’t manage much more than mushy foods. I hesitated in answering and she quickly said “I have some greek yogurt or laughing cow cheese….” Ok how did she know?????
 
She had called my mom (who knows everything about my band) and asked if there was anything she could get for me. So after choking back tears and a big hug I settled for some greek yogurt.
 
The weekend was a blast! I saw family that I have not seen in 5 years and they were all very complimentary over how I looked. I heard “You look amazing” over & over and I loved every minute of it. I had some treats, like Trader Joes Dark Chocolate Espresso Beans but I also made good food choices (Ahi Tuna for lunch).
 
I am proud of myself as I managed a weekend away from home (comfort zone) full of family (can be stressful) and had a great time.
 
Oh and the best part was my hips DID NOT touch the sides of the seat on the planes. How cool is that?!!!!

And I missed it!
 
I may have a brand new band in but I still consider the 1st August 2008 to be the first day I became a bandster.
 
And despite the ups and downs, it has been a game changer for me. It transformed my life in so many ways that I can't even begin to articulate. Not just in my weight, my health and my prognosis for my future health, but in my confidence, my view on life, my career and my value in myself.
 
Happy bandiversary to me! It's been an amazing 5 years and here's to many many more to come.

Work has been crazy lately, life has been crazy. I am busier than ever, but I am doing pretty well. There are times when I get down and out, but for the most part I feel stronger than I was 5 years ago.
 
This past weekend I went out of town, up to Ohio to visit my MIL. I realized on this trip, going through airports, going to new places, walking down crowed streets, taking city buses, that I am not nearly as self concious as I once was. What a great feeling to walk down the street or into places and hold my head up. Going into resturants and ordering, I don't feel self concious about my order. I just don't worry nearly as much about what people think of my outside. I lived life from 6 years old until 32 now always worried about how people view my outside.
 
When getting back to work this week, another big thing happend. In years past I would never stand up for myself- I was meek and quiet especially in confrontation. I HATE confrontation. Due to my job I often have confrontations with parents who want me to bend rules or plan out break them for their child. I hated it when I got in confrontations with co-workers. Well, my secretary screwed up majorly while I was out of town. I decided that I was not going to be the one to call the families and apologize for the problems. I took the forms back to her, told her what was wrong and to contact the families. She went off, she yelled, was very rude. In times past I would have hung my head and walked away. This time I looked her in the eye and told her she needed to calm down, that yelling at me because she screwed up was not acceptable and I would not take that. She cried left work, came back the next day and acted as if nothing happend. I stood up for me!!! What a great feeling.
 
I am becoming more outgoing and confident in myself and my skin. I have never know what that was like. It's a glorious feeling. I realize that my no means am I a tiny girl. I wear a size 12/14 comfortably. I feel normal- like a typical person, not shamoo on legs.
 
I feel like at 32 almost 33 years old I am finally coming into myself and it's all because I made the choice to get the band and use it. I so wish everyone who has ever felt meek and awkward due to their weight could feel like I do right now. It is liberating. I makes me want to go out and when I see a large person tell them you don't have to live like that anymore. There is hope, there is help- you just have to use it to choose it.
 
So this morning despite my feelings of not having lost enough, I am doing the happy dance and being thankful for how my life has changed due to my band.

OK....so after all the drama I found here from one 'crazy' thread....and the fear I found from it...tonight I can say that i have PEACE.
 
I made my follow-up appt. with my surgeon (after the initial consult) and went in with my ever supportive hubby (i am truly blessed) and my full paged typed in tiny font list of questions I have come up with since my initial consult on May 28th. Many of my questions stemmed from many of the posts found right here and some came from my continued researching to learn all I can about what I am getting into when I have my surgery on Sept. 19th with the LapBand with Plication.
 
What I found out was that the band is meant to be a LONG-TERM tool in my quest to remove this excess weight and keep it off...the plication is there to help...i love my surgeons analogy of its "a belt with suspenders".
 
If I am compliant with my surgeon's directions and use the excellent aftercare program that is set up by my surgeon's office I will be just fine. He stressed that any questions or problems that may arise should be called into the office immediately so that it can be checked out....most times it will be nothing!!
 
I know that my surgeon is one of the best with the proper training and experience performing LapBand with Plication. I am in good hands and this is the BEST DECISION FOR ME!
 
What I take from this...if you have questions ASK YOUR SURGEON...if you have doubts about what your are going to do....ASK YOUR SURGEON....if you don't truly know what you are getting into(pre and post op and long term) ASK YOUR SURGEON.
 
At first I was nervous and felt ridiculous going back to my surgeon and asking my "silly" questions....some generated here and some elsewhere...what would he think??....honestly, I think he was happy I was coming back and straightening out many untrue statements and POSSIBLE complications that I was told WERE SURE TO HAPPEN TO ME IF I GOT THE LAPBAND!
 
I left that office feeling great about my decision to move forward and I take that very seriously since I have 2 small children who count on me every day!
 
And before anyone :ph34r: can say "hey there WILL BE complications"....yes there COULD be and yes there MAY NOT BE ANY!
 
So with that...I move full steam ahead and continue trying out protein shakes to find the best ones for me and I move forward and buy myself some tiny plates to eat from and I move forward and start cutting liquids from my meals and I move forward and start practicing eating slower and taking small bites....
 
...and most importantly.....I AM MOVING FORWARD! :wub:

One year ago today I was Banded!! So how was my year? Well, I was very very good for about 8-10 months and then I went back to my eating ice cream, too often. I almost always have soft serve but with jimmies(chocolate sprinkles, if you're not from Boston).
 
I was going to the gym (since December, when my husband and I joined) about 4-6 times a week. As the nice weather came, that stopped. We are going today, we are in our workout clothes!! I need to get my s**t together and start over with my new life.
 
My eating has been for the most part great. I love my morning protein shakes. I drink hot tea and iced tea all day and night. I brew my own iced tea, so it's decaf. I enjoy my large salad about 1 hour before my dinner. I have never used salad dressing, so I know I am great in that department. I do eat bread but only in restaurants with really great bread. I do have Chinese food with brown rice and where I usually eat you can get luncheon specials all day and I bring 1/2 of it home for another meal. Use to be I ate the whole plate full and then some more. I also never have fast food. I hate it. I know what you are thinking, a fat person who hates fast food! WOW! If I did any it was maybe french fries (no salt) (hate salt)
or a shake and I gave them up and don't miss them at all. My grandsons are mad I won't go to McDonald's with them. Grampie will take them but never Grammie.
 
So as far as my pounds lost, I started my weight loss March, 2012 with replacing breakfast with shakes and lost 26 pounds before my surgery. As of this morning I am down 74 big ones!!! Could it have been more-of course. I am not perfect. It was a few pounds more but the ice cream took care of that and the less moving of the body.
 
I go to the doctor Friday for a fill. I have a 10 band with 3 fills for a total of 1.5 I guess my doctor goes slowly with the fills and I am fine with that.
 
Everyone is different with your loss, eating and working out. Be you and not someone you're not. We do all compare ourselves to everyone, me included. Work towards who you want to be.
Have a great day! I will try.
Arlene aka "Eye Candy"

Omg... So this is a big week for me... full of anxiety... and self doubt.
 
first... today is a suck ass day.... i hate birthdays and today is a big one... 45. I woke up this morning thinking... OMG... In 5 years i will be 50... I tell you just typing that put a lump in my chest... I'm getting old...
 
second... Going to biloxi ms with my Best Friends... Gina's birthday was Saturday , mine today and Tracy's next Saturday. So this is what's keeping me up.... the dreaded SWIMSUIT.... This year will be my first time on the beach in a bikini in over 20 years. This is what's playing over and over in my head...... Walking on the beach, people looking and thinking...Who told her she could wear that... She must not have mirrors at her house... Or what if what i see in the mirror is only a refection from a fun-house mirror.... and im really disgusting and ..... omg... i'm driving my self crazy.
 
and i didn't get to tan like i wanted .... so now i got white fat on top of all that..... CG.. send me some of your fabulous tan...
 
Ok, Chris... Take a deep breath and remember.... this is as good as it get for now...

So my surgeon, who replaced my band, and his wife, who does my fills, can't agree. When I went in to see him for the first time, I'd been successfully maintaining for 3 years and then lost restriction with a leak. My BMI was just under 23. And that's what he's recorded it as.
 
My BMI just a smidge over 24. He thinks I need to be a bit tighter so I can get back down to my pre-leak weight. His wife, however, thinks I am perfect the way I am now.
 
What IS someone's ideal weight? Because even my care-givers can't agree. I personally think it's when I look in the mirror and am happy with me. And I'm happy with me now more than I ever have been. We're talking about mere lbs here but somehow the number on the scale is still king and I'm sick of it.
 
I decided at my last appt that no, I don't want to lose anymore. I told them that we will work at getting a fill level that will provide maintenance for me. Not weight loss. Because in the end, *I* decide what I'm happy with, and happiness in myself doesn't come from a number on the scale. So no green zone, no regular fills, no jumping on the scales everyday.
 
My band is working, I can feel it. Maybe not at optimal performance but good enough to help me maintain. So my scale can abdicate now, thank you very much, it is no longer the king of me.

Yesterday, I started to really think about what I can do. This brings many thoughts to mind- the things I can do now since losing 60 lbs, the things I want to do, the things I should do, ect.
 
Pre-surgery I was lucky, my health was pretty good, but I was terrified of it starting to fail. My knees had just started to ache when I walked alot- they would pop and creek. I knew they were telling me I was to large. I would cut grass and go inside and sometimes passout- litterally- do to over excertion. Did that twice.
 
Yeterday afternoon it was 92 degrees at my house with 98% humidity and guess what- I pushed mowed my lawn with NO ill effects. It took me 45 mins to cut the entire yard. Then I did some clipping in my flower garden and watered my pepper plants. Then I finally went into the house- and I felt good. I went stratight and got in the shower since I was dirty, wet and smelly. I got out of the shower, got a glass of water, sat down a few min and then back up to cook dinner. I couldn't have do that 60 lbs ago.
 
I now walk and sometime jog without pain. I can ride a bike for a mile or more without stopping.
 
I will be the first to tell you I hate "exercise". I put it in "" because I don't like just walking, or just getting on the elliptical or just lifting weights. I like to do something with a purpose that has a end point, like what I did yesterday. I love working in my yard, in the garden with my mom, playing with my neice, walking to go somewhere, even house work.
 
So I know that since I don't like exercise, it is very important that I move! So even though I have a office job I have tried to set things up where I must move. My bookshelf is across the room with my reference lit, my file cabnet is across the room. I have to stand up and step to my printer. Instead of taking the short cut to the potty I take the long way around. I stand up when on the phone. Movement is movement and it burn energy which burns calories.
 
Over the last 6 months my weight loss has slowed, but not stopped. On average it seems I lose around a pound to 2 pounds a month. While this isn't what I would love to lose, it is a loss. It is steady and comfortable. I don't feel like I am giving up anything. I feel like the life style I am living is one I can maintain forever. I make better choices, I do follow a give and take rule, I move more. So while I complain and fuss, fume and whine about having not lost as much as others; I am proud to say in 1 year and 1 month I have not gained, my weight has been on a decline. So I think little by little, inch by inch one day I will reach my goal. I may not get there as fast as I had hoped or dreamed, but I will make it.
 
I can do this, one step at a time.

hello everyone today is my 4th post op and still have gasses sometimes i feel like vomiting after i drink something is not all the times but happens a lot, is that normal ..... please any advise

The one thing I can say that is different about my food thinking is- I am a great deal more concious of what I eat and drink. Before I take something in, I often times will ask is it worth the calorie cost. The answer on many things is NOPE. This morning I was craving an Iced Mocha Latte from McDonalds- well the calorie cost isn't that high for the one I order (around 250), but to me it still was not worth it.
 
There was a day a day when if it tasted good I ate it, heck sometimes if it didn't taste good I'd eat it anyway. How sad is that? Now if I eat one bite and it's not appealing I am done- why waste the calories on something that isn't good. I would eat at meals like I'd never eat again, with the thought that the next meal I'd take it easy on- did I- no. Sometimes even now I find those old thoughts creaping up in my brain and I have to shake it off.
 
Now I am in a quest to find food that taste amazing and cost less in the calorie department. This isn't always easy to do. Last night I fixed homemade Chicken Alfredo with brocollini. For the pasta- spagetti squah, which is amazing, if you like paste I challenge you to try this- it is so easy to cook in the microwave. I made my own alfredo sauce that had no butter and was made with 2% milk rather than heavy cream. The chicken was boneless skinless chicken breast cut into bite size peices. Tossed a little brocolini florets in for color and add texture. It was awesome- so didn't feel like I was giving up anything. Just savored each bite.
 
I believe that if we were as concious with our calorie cost as we are with money cost there would be a lot less fat folk- I know I would be. So I try each day to look at my calorie count that way- is it worth the cost or not. Is it worth that extra pound I will see on the scale. You know what, there are times when it is worth it- but most of the time it isn't. If we live in this mind set it makes letting go of those calorie bombs not so difficult. For me sometimes, it makes thing taste less awesome, if I know it is loaded.
 
So, a challenge to us all- equate calories to dollars- is a milkshake worth $1000- NOPE

Had a fantastic weekend but as usual my only wish was it didn't fly by so fast. I was in my friends wedding this weekend. Probably for the first time in many years I felt really good about myself. I felt I looked decent and I was confident. I am so thankful to my new best friend of 15 months (My band).
 
It is truly amazing what proper fitting clothes can do for your psyche. Even standing outside decked out in a tux with it being 95 with a heat index of 105 I was quite content. 15 months ago I would not even have been able to stood long enough to be in this Wedding and finding an actual tux that would fit would've been a tremendous challenge.
 
 
 
This first pic was taken with my IPhone which obviously has a dirty lens.
 
 
 
 

 
 
 

This lapband journey has had its ups and downs already and I'm still waiting to be banded. Finishing with the nutritionist tomorrow and then a surgery date and insurance approval and then I'm home free....so they tell me.
 
It's been some journey so far. An experience in every aspect. First, the decision to do this...years in the making...and what a decision it is...lots of research, lots of reading, and lots of questions. Then, came the testing...the poking, the prodding, the multitude of appts and doctors and hoops to jump through. What came of it all...luckily, I'm "healthier" than I thought for being morbidly obese....or maybe I should say that my luck hasn't run out yet! And happily, I've begun to make some new friends on this journey of mine!
 
Just when I'm on a roll and feeling positive a flood of negativity and fear comes flooding in from just one thread on this site. It was disheartening and more than anything else...SCARY!!!!
 
So, I've decided the following.....
...I'm moving forward with positive thoughts
...I have a 2nd appt with my surgeon to ask every question that has come up since my 1st appt...and there are many!!
...I will continue to follow the positive, successful, and supportive members here who really want to help....YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!...AND I THANK YOU ALL AGAIN!
...I will continue to educate myself and ask as many questions as I want!
 
From all this I've learned I have the right to question and question and question some more....and not to feel bad about it.
I've learned that unfortunately there are naysayers who dont want to share "opinions" and tell there story--they want to breed fear. :ph34r:
I've learned I will not be a part of that again.
I've learned to stop doubting myself to the point of panic setting in.
 
I'VE LEARNED TO BELIEVE IN ME...SOMETHING I HAVEN'T DONE FOR WAAAY TOO LONG! :wub:

I was reading the forum today and read a reply to a post about snacking that said “It’s okay to be hungry.”
 
This got me thinking (I know scary, huh?!)
 
Do I really know what true physical hunger feels like? Hunger where you don’t know if or when you will eat again….. Pain and discomfort from malnutrition and dehydration.
 
I have never experienced true physical hunger.
 
But, I’m the first to say I am sooooo hungry. Why? Was it the way I was raised? Society? Or what?
 
Before my band food was everything. I would plan every meal to the tee and as soon as the meal was over I was talking/planning the next meal. Breakfast at 8am, lunch at noon, afternoon snacks/cocktails at 5pm and dinner at 7pm. My belly alarm would go off at each time and I would say I’m hungry. I was obsessed with my meals and eating. Food had all the control.
 
Fast forward 18 months and I have the control back (for the most part). Yes I still eat on the same schedule. This is a personality flaw for me, very organized and schedule oriented. It drives some people crazy. The difference is that I know this is a trigger for my head hunger and I don’t let that “I’m hungry” feeling take over. I know when I’m going to eat, I know how much I’m going to eat and I know what types of foods I’m going to eat.
 
So, yes it’s okay to be hungry. But, my head hunger will not control me, I will control it!

To having a Lapband….
 
Well there are Dr. O’Brien’s eight golden rules.
 
1, Eat three or less small meals per day
2. Do not eat anything between meals
3. Eat slowly and stop when no longer hungry
4. Focus on nutritious foods
5. Avoid calorie-containing liquids
6. Exercise for at least 30 minutes every day
7. Be active throughout the day
8. Always keep in contact with your aftercare specialist
 
And there are the basic band eating rules.
 
1. Small bites
2. Chew until mushy
3. Eat slow (wait about 1 minute between bites)
 
After this it starts to get foggy, many doctors with many different opinions and advise.
 
There is:
 
1. Don’t drink while eating
2. No carbonated drinks
3. No straws
4. No NSAIDS
5. No alcohol
 
So what do you do? Who is right?? Every doctor is different. An example is let’s compare my doctor and my good friend CalorinaGirl’s doctor:
 
Drinking while eating:
My doctor says it’s fine as long as you wait the minute between bites & sips. CG doctor says NO drinking while eating and wait 30 minutes after you eat.
 
Carbonated drinks:
My doctor says if you want that’s fine but he sees most patients prefer not to because of the discomfort in drinking the carbonation. CG doctor says NO.
 
Straws
My doctor says if you want and it doesn’t bother you, fine. (I use a straw on occasion). CG doctor says NO.
 
NSAIDS
My doctor says Yes. CG doctor says NO.
 
Alcohol
My doctor says count the calories. CG doctor says prefer not, but if so use sparingly.
 
I would say that both CG & I have been successful with our banded journeys, we both follow our band rules (doctor’s orders) and have seen the results.
 
So who is right????? YOUR DOCTOR IS RIGHT! That is the person you put your money and life into so why not trust them?
 
My point is this journey is not cut and dry, black and white. This journey is what you make of it. Trust in your doctor and listen to them. Make your choices based on that.

I bought myself a new water bottle this weekend. My previous bottles were inexpensive bottles. Never really liked any of them.
 
I have been looking for a water bottle that had a few features that seem to be hard to find.
 
1. No straw – a bottle that you pour the water out of (or sip into your mouth).
2. Double lined – I don’t like ice in my water but I like it cold.
3. Cap that doesn’t leak – I want to be able to put the bottle in a bag and not worry if it will tip over and leak over everything.
4. Holds a good amount of water – about 20 – 24 ounces preferred.
 
Well hubby & I were at Academy Sports this weekend and I found this water bottle. It meets all the elements I was looking for. It holds 24 ounces of liquid, double lined, nice mouth piece and the lid snaps closed (no leaks).
 
Today was the first day of full use and I filled it 7 times (7 x 24 = 168 ounces). Holly Toledo I must be floating. I drank 168 ounces of water today. Ok, I know the newness will wear off and I’ll be back to my 80-100 ounces, but hey I like my new tool (& you know my thoughts on tools).
 
There have been a few threads recently about water & dehydration that make me want to say I hated water when I got the band almost 18 months ago, never thought I could get in 68 ounces a day. Not possible. And today I drank that twice!
 
How? By not giving up, by getting a tool that I like (Yea, the Longhorn encourages me!). By mixing up my water with lemons, limes or flavor packages. I go through phases, some days its plain water others I want my water flavored. I’m currently on a fruit punch kick. Really like the Tropical Punch flavor packs by HEB. Could be something totally different tomorrow. Point is when I’m bored with something I change it.
 
Water can be so darn boring alone, but when you have a great tool like my UT bottle anything is possible.
 
PS - yes it was over the budget but WTF I’m worth it! I get an awesome bottle and show my UT spirit all in one tool!

They say we didn’t gain all our weight overnight and therefore we shouldn’t expect to lose all the weight overnight. And as we get closer to our goal it gets harder and harder. It becomes a very frustrating thing.
 
Then when we finally reach our idea weight, we have to maintain that weight FOR LIFE! No relaxing allowed. Because it will creep back on bit by bit.
 
That is where I am at, I let my eyes do my measuring and bit by bit the sizes kept getting bigger…..
 
Then I let myself make some not so good choices. Oh I can have a little of this and a little of that, I’m not trying to lose weight, just maintaining so it won’t hurt…..
 
Guess what, I am pushing that five pound threshold that my doctor said I should keep. Yep up five pounds from my goal.
 
Oh, I could sit here and say I don’t understand. I haven’t changed my eating or my exercise. But I did change things (slightly). A little bigger size of this and that. Extra treat here and there. Skipping on this exercise or that. It all adds up and at the end of the day I have gained five pounds over the last month.
 
Now what, cry in my Wheaties? Nope, I get my a s s back on track. Weigh my food, eat my protein first, drink my water and exercise every day. And guess what, I will have to do this for the rest of my life.
 
So for anyone thinking that the Band (or any WLS for that matter) is a quick fix, guess again! It takes change and lots of it, and it takes a lifetime commitment.
 
I’m in it for life and bit by bit I will get these five pounds back off.

The band is a tool and will only work if used correctly, we know this and state it daily.
 
We have another very important tool, our doctor. He (or she) is the one we trusted to cut up our insides. But this tool doesn’t stop there, we pay them for our after care. I’m not talking just for the post op diets. I’m talking months and years of after care, whether it is fills or just checking in or complications we need this tool as much as we need our bands.
 
So why would we not use this tool? Why are we afraid to call the doctor? Why don’t we want to go back to the doctor? Who loses out when we don’t use this tool? The doctor doesn’t. He’s off helping other patients who are using their tool. We lose! We keep spiraling out of control, gaining weight, feeling like we failed, and hating the band.
 
I use my tools to the fullest capacity!
 
I lost 80 pounds in 10 months and have maintained my weight for the last 7 months. And, I still see my doctor once a month. Why? Because I am using my tool. I often don’t get a fill, I weigh in, ask any questions I may have and say hello to everyone. I am there so much that all the staff know me by name. They may get sick of seeing me, but hey I pay for this tool and by golly I’m going to use it.
 
So, if you are struggling and you haven’t seen your doctor in a while, pick up the phone and make an appointment. Use your tool! If you don’t you are only hurting yourself.

Why, oh why - please tell me...Why am I in the most danger when I've had a victory???
 
So we all know that exercise is the bane of my existence. But I've managed to work out at least 3 days a week for a month now. So this week, I'm bumping it up to 5 days a week. Grrrr. So I haul it out of bed this morning with the intention of doing something different at the gym. Everyone says you shouldn't get stuck doing one exercise routine - you should mix it up. I was therefore going to do a bike instead of the elliptical and weights. Started out fine - but the seat KILLED my butt (and not in the good 'oh I'm feeling the burn' way - more like the 'OMG I'm being sawed in half' way) !!! So I switched to one of the bikes where you are more seated with your legs horizontal instead of vertical. Didn't like that either because everytime I pedaled, I smooshed my stomach (which is still considerable) into my boobs, which are even more considerable. All of this and I only burned half the calories I burn on the elliptical.
 
Had to leave the gym earlier than usual because I had an early morning at work. Managed to actually eat a good, protein breakfast and get to the stupid meeting on time (HUGE for me). Only to find out the meeting was canceled!!! However, we were having a drug rep coming later - with breakfast! So now - I've already eaten and they bring in tons of food (breakfast pastries, naturally) to leave in the break room, 3 steps from my office.
 
Before vacation, about a month ago, I bought a new linen outfit. Fit perfectly. I haven't gotten around to wearing it until today because it's linen and requires ironing - which I only do about once a year. So I put it on - pants are too big!! :-) YAY me! I've mentioned that I was getting pissy because the scale wasn't moving, which usually triggers a binge for me. So I'm not allowed to get on the scale until the end of the month. The idea is to get used to doing the healthy thing because it's healthy, rather than being motivated by a number on the scale. So having a NSV like my brand new outfit being too big already is big for me!
 
SO - someone please tell me WHY I'm seriously in danger of having a really, really bad - out of control eating - kind of a day! Why must everything trigger a binge for me??? If doing the right thing and not having a payoff makes me want to eat - why does doing the right thing and having a payoff make me want to eat?!?!
 
Getting up for an extra workout - victory
Healthy, protein breakfast - victory
On time for early meeting - victory
New clothes too big - victory
 
I just have that unbelievable urge to eat everything I can find. I am my own worst enemy! Ready to turn around, go home, and climb in bed to hide until it's over!!!
 
Shelly