SashaWLS

LOVE THIS!!! This journey, so far only 1 month in, is really hard in unexpected ways. I needed this dose of sanity tonight. Thank you.

First of all, let me just say that I totally feel for you. I understand how you feel, understand how that set you off, and hope you can click back in the groove!! But I think the issue for most of us, long term, is how do we all maintain focus and momentum WITHOUT external reinforcement... There will be a time when we've lost all the weight we need to lose, when people get used to seeing us thinner, when we're not the "news item of the week" anymore and are just dealing with our own day to day crap... After being on Weight Watchers for many years and following the boards, I heard this from folks on maintenance over and over... "No one's complimenting me anymore, I feel so bad, I lost my motivation, now I just want to eat"... I don't know what the answer is here for HOW to be ok without external reinforcement, but (without knowing her) I doubt your daughter's great aunt intended to be hurtful. Maybe you don't look like you've lost a lot of weight to her, because maybe she was expecting if you lost 44lbs you'd be skinny. Who knows what preconceived notions of what X pounds = X body shape she brings to the table. For people who have always been thin 44lbs is the difference between out of control fat, and thin. For those of us who had the surgery, 44lbs is a good solid start, but often not even halfway to goal! But chin up. We're here for you and we can help reinforce you and you're doing AMAZING!!!!

If I overate a bit at lunch at 2:30pm, there's no way I'd still be feeling stuffed full and nauseous and burping at 11:30pm just cause I overate, right? Is this a stuck episode?? I don't feel stuck, I guess, but maybe this is what stuck feels like... I don't know how to read my body anymore... I don't get the chest tightening when I'm full, which makes me think I don't have restriction, so I don't know how much is too much to eat. I'm just sort of eating until I can't, which I know is probably totally wrong. I feel like such a lost newbie!! Should I try to throw up? Ugh. I feel lousy!!!

Thanks, I'm better now. Had a big glass of very hot tea, which helped, and then about an hour after that I had a huge burp. Maybe it was all the bending over finally catching up with me!

I had the same thing happen, but the surgical coordinator said to sit down with my PCP and have him write up everything he could think of to document a history of trying to lose weight. I mean, if he could write down every time he weighed you and you talked about it, it might be 6 months!!

A few links to threads about leaks and complications on the Verticalsleevetalk.com site: http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/34229-folks-who-have-had-complications/page__hl__regret "Well my wife cousin is in ICU right now, I don't know if you want to put her in the list, she's not is this forum yet, I hope she can in the future. She had a leak, a second surgery , she is 1.5 month out and she is in the ICU on a induced coma for the last 2 weeks, she has lung infection and is breathing with the help of a machine via a tracheostomy." http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/29403-i-definitely-regret-surgery-so-far/ Follows the journey of "jasleeve" Surgery Dec 20th, this post Feb 4 -- "i wouldnt wish this on anyone. i feel so sick. & i know my friends are tired of hearing me complain about it so i try & stay to myself but damn!!!! i dont know how much more i can take. they say ill get better but im getting worse!!!! & they said the stent has to stay for 4-6weeks. i thought i was already 2 weeks in! im not. im only 1week & 2days in! this is TORTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it has even crossed my mind to switch to bypass to just get past this part! i cant deal with this feeling!" http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/31724-angry-depressed-have-leak-stent-and-pick-line/page__p__276129__hl__+jasleeve%20+doctor__fromsearch__1#entry276129 "I had the sleeve surgery Jan. 30th, 2012. Went home fine from the hospital the next day - feeling great. Six days later, I am sitting on the couch and experience extreme left shoulder pain and left abdominal pain. I drive myself to the hospital and I have a leak. They did surgery that night to suture the site but the surgery failed. On Feb. 14th, I had a stent put in. I spent 10 days in the hospital. Now I have a pick line in my arm and I have TPN bag that I use on a 14 hour basis (7pm-9am). This is so scary to me. I am depressed, crying. I have to have the stent in for 8 weeks - hopefully it will close the leak. Has ANYONE had this happen? What was the result? While on the pick line I am having extreme heartburn. The doctor said if the stent doesnt work then I will need a 4th major surgery? I am praying it doesnt get to that point? Has anyone gone thru this? Provide advice? I am alone here and very scared. I wonder if I will ever get back to normal. Is their light at the end of tunnel?"

I drank VERY hot tea tonight and that finally seems to have helped clear out whatever was stuck... 12 hours later. ugh. But at least it seems to be out...

Hi there... It seems to be normal. I'm having the same issues. I was in a deep funk all night tonight when I sort of suddenly realized that I just didn't feel well. Seems sort of silly in retrospect that I didn't know I wasn't feeling well, I mean, I should know my own body, right?? But once I identified that I was actually feeling nauseous, made some tea, walked around and burped about 100x, I actually felt better mentally... Anyway, I'm no expert because here I am right here with you, but maybe it would help to try to chase down the feeling or thought that sent you into a tailspin. Might not be what you think it is, or you might have tried to shove the feeling away before you even let yourself feel it. And now that we can't eat to cover it up, we're just stuck feeling lousy!

If the sleeve goes well, it's great. But if the sleeve goes badly, it's much, much worse than a band that's gone badly... For what it's worth I originally wanted the sleeve (badly) but after doing a lot of research, the decision came down to a numbers game... -- The mortality rate for the sleeve is 1/200... Mortality rate for the band is 1/2000. -- Sleeve complications are MUCH MUCH worse than band complications... 1% of the people who get the sleeve have a leak, and those who do are in agony, in and out of the hospital for up to 5-6 months at a time, and say they regret the surgery (search leak on verticalsleevetalk.com and see what that's like for them...) -- roughly 1/3 of the people who get bypass or sleeve gain it back with no other option afterwards than to get the band on top of their cut-up stomach (i.e. carny wilson) The sleeve seems to be a fabulous option when it works! But the risk that it could turn out to be a total disaster is also much higher. I have a 4-year old daughter and don't feel like I have the right to gamble lightly with something that might take me out... If the band works, then I'm done with only a minimally invasive surgery and no cutting up of my organs. People do have problems with the band, and if I were one of those people I might consider the sleeve as a revision. But a lot of people are also successful with the band, and for me, it didn't make sense not to at least try it and hope it works!!!

I think this is very good advice. I haven't been measuring anything, and I'm quite sure (and was at the time) that I overate... I am a binge eater. I don't like snacking. Hell, I don't really like food all that much and can easily go 12-14 hours without eating anything. But when I eat, I eat huge portions. I knew you could eat around the band, but I guess I really did think that the one thing the band would do is stop me from being able to overeat in one sitting... But if I can overeat and will just feel like this? I guess I'm going to start measuring.

sadly no big burp... got a few smaller burps, but nothing satisfying... Will keep trying.

Hey, I'm game!! So what, bend down to touch my toes and try to burp? Ok, I'm gonna try it! Hope I don't throw up on my toes. hehehe!

I'm not so much in pain as really nauseous... It's like a mucus lump in my throat, and I have been wanting/trying to burp for hours, but can't get a good burp going.... I can go out and buy some pineapple juice, but it's almost midnight and I should be going to sleep soon. Though lying down doesn't feel so good anyway, so maybe I should go out...

I had baked salmon, mashed potatoes and some grilled vegetables... I feel like I've got a lump in my throat and I haven't eaten in 9 hours because I haven't wanted to at all!! Had some tea, and am trying to drink part of a protein shake, but it's not feeling good...

I've had worse things said to me when thin, about my former fat self, than when I've been fat... I still feel bad about a woman saying that it looked like fat had swallowed my face, and that was 13 years ago!!!

It's so weird, too... Yesterday I was totally fine. But today, I'm SO grouchy! I started crying just because my kid had to eat. and I want toast! I don't even care about toast, but that's what I'm craving... It's frustrating and emotional...

I haven't had this happen, but I heard that if it's meat that's stuck, that drinking pineapple juice or having papaya enzymes will break the meat down faster...

Oh no!! That's my worst nightmare. What a drag. Your experience, quite frankly, is why I wanted to get the sleeve in the first place—so you get your one surgery and then you're over and done with and you don't have to deal with some stupid foreign body in your local body... But, here I am on this road. Anyway, post back when you find out what's next. And when you decide what you want to do. I'm curious what your choices are, and what your decisions will be! Good luck to you!!!

I just got my first fill about 2 hours ago (3.5cc in a 10cc band) and think I may be too tight... But I'm not sure. I hear people say that sometimes the first fill takes a few days to get used to, so I don't want to be a worrier and get it unfilled if it's not necessary... But on the other hand it's going on the weekend and I don't want to end up throwing up, being unnecessarily uncomfortable, or having it get worse... Here's what I'm feeling, do you guys have any thoughts? After the fill I was immediately a little nauseous, but ultimately able to drink 2 dixie cups of Water... I felt the cold water backing up into my throat and my chest felt tight, but when I added warm water it went down... Now, 2 hrs later, I still feel slightly nauseous, like there's a lump of mucus in the back of my throat. I'm uncomfortable and feel a tightness in my chest. I assume it's the band and that it hurts a little. I am able to drink. I'm sipping Vitamin water and it is going down.

2 weeks post-op with your folks sounds like a very good idea... There's absolutely NO WAY I could have lifted 20lbs for a few weeks after surgery. They ask you not to lift anything up to 40lbs for a month to make sure the stitches are healed... But your son can sit on your lap!! And if you let him sleep in the bed with you some, you can get lots of cuddle time. Just try to keep him from whacking you in the stomach!!! The day my 4yo daughter came home from her grandparents' house (5 days post-op) she ran flying down the hallway and slammed me in the stomach and yelled "TAG! You're it!!!" and ran away... Welcome home!

I have nothing to add about eating around the band, but I love your name!! SpaceGirl used to be an avatar of mine!!!

My doc said to avoid carbonation... But if I desperately want something carbonated, I should let it sit for a while and then stir the hell out of it. Once it's pretty flat, I can have small quantities, infrequently...

I wish my first fill went as well as yours... I had to go back and have 1cc taken out cause I was in PAIN!!! But now I'm fine. Liquids the rest of today, mushies tomorrow...

In the end, it's about two things... (1) your own head, and (2) the arrangement you make with those around you. Regarding #1 -- You can "flip the switch" in your own head to turn off all the food noise around you. You just have to find the switch!! Many of us have no problems with people eating around us, because we were very focused on what we were doing and why. I'm not saying you SHOULD be in that place, I'm just saying that if you can find a way to get to that place, the journey will be a little easier... Easier said than done I know!! Regarding #2 -- You and your husband need to talk about what support you need. And he has to agree to it. If you ask him not to eat in front of you and he agrees, and then does it anyway, he's a big old jerk and you have a right to be angry. But if he's not signing up for that, then you guys have to negotiate for what he will agree to do... In my house, I don't care what my husband eats in front of me. However, I've asked that we remove the alcohol from the house. I love to drink. And before surgery, we used to have a drink or two every night before bed... I don't want to give up drinking entirely, and I really don't think I can be trusted to only drink "sometimes" or "in moderation" if he's going to drink every night in front of me at home. So I've decided to try drinking only when I'm out, in a social situation... Is that totally fair to him? Not if he is resentful or angry about it... But sure, it's totally fair if he's happy to support me and agrees to do it. As it turns out we had a big fight one night because (during pre-op phase) he snuck booze into his juice and I caught him. I flipped out (more that he was sneaking it) and basically told him that I refused to be his mother, and that if he's so dead set on drinking regardless of the impact on me, he should just pull all the alcohol back in the house and act like an adult and make the decision that he didn't want to support me... I'm a big girl, I can deal with being told no, but don't pretend to be supportive and then make me the bad guy when I find out that he's lying about it... Grrr... Anyway. Point being that I understand what you're going through, but it is YOUR journey... Your family will hopefully help, but it's not actually their journey...