morelgirl

Sorry that I haven't checked in for a while. This work deadline has darned near killed me, and still might, so I'll likely be scarce for another week or two. Tomorrow evening I leave for a work conference and will be gone until next week. It will be the first time I've travelled after recommitting to my band, so I'm a bit nervous. I'm trying to hold on to the mindset that whatever happens will be okay. I won't be able to cook the way I normally do for myself, so all I can do is make the best choices available to me and try to listen to what the band is telling me. If I gain, then I gain. It has happened before and likely will again, but having the band means that if I make the right choices, I can take it off again and then continue moving forward. That's all I can do. Other than that, things are okay. Loss has slowed way down, but I have managed to break through to the other side. I have officially lost all the weight I regained and also shed 0.2lbs on top of it. It's not coming off as fast as I want, but as long as it comes off, I'm trying to stay positive. Everyone keep up the good work and keep moving forward. I know you can.

Aslan's a carnivore. He'll understand the need for protein. Of course, if he asks for a bite, I wouldn't say no...

Oh, sure, sounds like fun!

I had a difficult weekend. I've been stressing over a work deadline for the last week or two, but things are really coming to a head. In fact, I'm beginning to hear that whooshing sound a deadline makes as it goes shooting by me. It won't be the end of the world, as it's mainly a self imposed date, but I'm still frustrated with myself that I haven't been able to make it, so the stress is building. In the past, stress for me has always equalled overeating, so my head hunger has just been rising and rising lately. Yesterday, it got the best of me. I ate and drank way too many calories. Admittedly not as many as I could have, but still way more than I needed. Knowing that bad news at this point would only make me that much more likely to want to quit, I deliberately did not do my weekly weigh in this morning. I do that every morning right after I get up, after I've gone to the bathroom but before I put on clothes, and I record the result of each Monday's scale readout. Today, I officially took the day off. Of course, I couldn't stay completely off the scale, but I waited a couple of hours and weighed myself with clothes on. That way, I can pretend the number is inaccurate. Of course, the number was up so I started to get down on myself, Then, I realized something. I hadn't taken any measurements of myself in just over a month. Out came the tape measure. I don't take a ton of measurements, just three that are recorded in MFP, but I'm still really glad I remembered to do this. I've lost 3.3 inches! Knowing that was like a huge weight (no pun intended) lifted off my shoulders, because it means that what I'm doing is really making a noticeable difference. The numbers on the scale can get kind of abstract because they move up and down so easily and are influenced by so many things, like salt and water and TOM, that sometimes it doesn't feel like those losses are real. The ones on the measuring tape, though, those can't be disputed. I really needed the good news today. It helped me to get my head back on straight so that I can take a deep breath and get back to work, both professionally and with my band. I know this journey won't be quick and it won't be easy, but sometimes a reminder really helps. Once a month measurements, which I had planned to do all along, gave me that reminder today, and boy, I needed that!

...the kind in the old saying: swimming serenely on the surface and paddling like a lunatic underneath. Actually, I've been doing fairly well ever since I got back on board with my band (3/8). The additional fills have made a difference and at 9.25cc, I've decided to consider myself I the green zone. I stay not hungry for about 4 hrs after a meal. I never experience stuck episodes or PBs, thank goodness, but I am a pretty conscientious chewer, which is good because my bite size varies depending on the texture of the food I'm eating. I make sure to get my minimum 50g of protein per day and I keep track of my calories, but other than that I don't stress abut counting anything else (fat or carbs). I still eat "bad" foods occasionally (like chips) but only in moderation, in premeasured servings, and I always count the calories and try to make sure that at the end of the week I average out around 1200 calories per day. I can eat bread, rice, pasta, asparagus, steak ... there is nothing I have ever tried to eat that I was unable to eat. I also don't ever feel like my band "stops" me from eating. My portions are usually 1 cup at a time, sometimes 1.5 cups, but I never feel stuffed after eating or that my band is telling me to stop. My mind tells me to stop because it remembers the rules given to me by my doctor. In reality, I'm learning to be okay with that. Part of me wonders if I'm missing some vital part of the bandster experience by not having a band that bosses me around, but I think this way is honestly probably less painful. I also hope that it is teaching me more than if I had a vocal band. This way, I know that what I'm doing is a choice and since I'm going to have to do this for the rest of my life if I want to lose and maintain a loss, getting into the habit of choosing right is probably a good thing in the long term. Sure, there are times when I wish I was one of those people whose band made them forget about food completely. When I read about someone who never has cravings any more, or who forgets to eat, or who loses interest in food--even really yummy food--after a few bites, I wish that were me, but I'm doing okay with the me I've got, so I get over it. The bottom line is that I am losing weight. Not huge quantities and not as fast as I would like, but since I would LIKE to be losing 10lbs per week, I'm focusing on being realistic instead. My 1-2 lb per week loss (really does usually fall around 1.5!) is exactly on track. All I need to do is to remember to stay the course and I will get where I want to be eventually. Better to get there slowly than to stay where I am. So, like the duck, I just keep paddling.

Nothing new to report today, so just checking in. Kept fairly well to my goal yesterday day and got more water in, too, which was good. Hope everyone else is doing well. Suzie and Hilary, haven't heard from you in a couple of days, so hope you're doing well! Stay strong everyone, and keep moving forward.

I hope everyone is doing well mid-week. Personally, I've gone over my calorie goal for the past couple of days. Nothing disastrous, but I still want to nip it in the bud before it gets out of control, so I'm aiming to have a low calorie day. I want to try to stay below 1100 to start to balance things out. Basically, my goal is to have MyFitnessPal calculate at the end of the week that I averaged out at around 1200 calories per day. I had another decent weigh in this week and I'm basically back where I was before I started to regain. I was bouncing back and forth between 203-204 back then, and I'm back to 204. In one way, that's awesome, of course, but in another, it's messing with my mind a little because it makes those voices in my head taunt me with the idea that I might not be able to go any lower. I need to make myself ignore them. The reason I started regaining before was because I gave up when I wasn't able to get my band adjusted properly. Now that it is adjusted, I just need to keep doing what I'm doing, and I know I can continue to lose. But, wow, I'm getting impatient to get back into the 190s. Anything that doesn't start with a 2 will be a big victory for me and my next mini goal. Can't wait to tick that off the list. I'd love to be losing 5 lbs a week so that I could see it next weigh in, but I'm still averaging between 1-1.5 lbs per week, so I need to remind myself that's normal and healthy and stop whining over not melting. Easier said than done, of course, Allergies are killing me again, making me think this must be a really bad season around here, because I haven't gone through anything like this since I moved here from the east coast. It's crazy. Also still slogging away with work, hoping the light at the end of the tunnel in a couple of weeks doesn't turn out to be the train! Hope all are well. Stay strong and keep moving. If you can do that, you ARE a success!

Sounds like you're doing well, Lela. I also tend to do a serving of protein (3-4oz) with a veggie side. When I'm just cooking for me, I like to cook in my toaster oven on the convection setting. A typical meal for me might be 3-4 oz of chicken breast lightly brushed with Dijon mustard and then sprinkled with seasoned breadcrumbs (just a tablespoon or two). I put that on a foil lined toaster tray, add a few spears of asparagus, spray it all with olive oil (I use a Misto sprayer) and then convection bake it for 15-20min at 400. The chicken stays fairly moist, the mustard holds on the breadcrumbs and adds flavor, and the asparagus roasts to a lovely, nutty flavor. A squeeze of lemon juice and dinner is served. I get a lot more creative when I'm cooking to share with the housemates, but that's my old standby for solo dining. Tonight, I actually made myself a stuffed pepper with half a small red bell pepper, 3oz of super lean ground beef, a couple of tablespoons of leftover rice, chopped fresh spinach and chopped onion. I added a tablespoon of tomato paste, a teaspoon of Worcestershire, and some pasteurized egg whites and then baked it (toaster oven again!) for 45 minutes. Served with some broccoli rabe that I just cut up and nuked with a tablespoon of water for a minute and a half. Yummy. Not super high in protein, but not shabby, either. I've also made a couple of recipes from Jean McMillan's bandster cookbook that were very good, but the ones I tried I either shared with friends or ate as leftovers for days because they made way too much for just me. A lot of it is just creative thinking or figuring out ways to modify old recipes to add protein and cut fat and carbs. It takes some effort, but I like to cook, so I think it can be fun!

So glad you checked in, Stephanie, and I'm glad to hear you're taking the bump in the road in stride. None of us can be perfect, but we can pick ourselves up after we fall and get back on track. I think we all go through the mental ups and downs. I know I do. Some days I really feel like I have this licked, like my 1000-1200 calorie goal is more than enough and I can just cruise my way to thin before I even know it. And some days I think the scale has a personal grudge against me, I'll never lose another pound, and I'll starve to death if I don't eat an entire bag of Doritos. Luckily, none of that bad stuff has happened. But I really think it's totally normal to waffle like that. We're human, after all. Personally, I'm getting super stressed out over work, but I'm trying to channel it away from overeating and onto something less destructive. That means I may end up obsessing a bit too much over my eating, but if it makes me more vigilant over tracking calories and making good choices, I suppose I can live with it. Hopefully, it will only be another couple of weeks before things calm down and get back to normal. Wishing everyone a great start to the week!

Bandster hell is the period between when your stomach heals from surgery and when you receive adequate fill levels in your band. During this period, you will experience the return of your appetite and will probably not notice any effect of having been banded. In other words, if you don't measure food, count calories, and grit your teeth against the hunger, you will not lose and may even gain weight. For some people, the first fill is enough to give them proper restriction and they will have a very short period in hell, but for others it takes multiple fills and many months before their band begins to really do its job. Most people are probably somewhere in the middle. Basically, you just need to remember that the band isn't magic. The band does not make you lose weight. All it does is assist is curbing your appetite so that it is easier for you to eat less. It's the eating less (and moving more) that actually takes the weight off.

Suzie, I'm sorry to hear about your job. That's lousy news. Hopefully, though, you can enjoy the extra time off and find a new one you like even better as soon as you're ready. Lela, I'm glad to hear you're doing well. Keep up the good work. Anna, you can always start again. We're living proof of that. I think a visit to your doctor is a good place to start. It sucks to have to go in and confess that you haven't been doing well, but I promise that the doctor has heard it before. By going in and having a consultation, you can make sure your band is still properly placed, verify how much fill you have, and either get some added or taken away. If you're getting stuck on scrambled eggs , you might actually have been a little bit too tight, which can actually cause weight gain. Once you're ready to start again, you just need to go back to the beginning and follow all the rules. ALL of them, ALL the time. Measure and weigh your portions, keep track of your calories, take tiny bits, and chew chew chew until your jaw is about to fall off! You can do it, you just have too want it enough to work for it. I'm still going crazy with allergies, which is helping neither my work nor my eating. I'm not doing badly, but it's harder at the moment. I think that because I spent so long using food to soothe myself, I'm still having trouble not doing that when I'm not feeling well. But I'll get through this, just like everything else. Hope everyone 's having a good day.

Aside from a sneak attack of allergies that had me scratching my eyes out, I'm still here and doing good. I actually slept a lot today because I took a half dose of antihistamine, which renders me completely unconscious. Not good for my work productivity, but it kept me from clawing my eyeballs out of my head. I haven't have allergies in years, but this spring for some reason is really getting to me. Suzie, yes, I have been getting back on track after Monday. The one negative of going off plan is that it makes the head hunger worse, I think. Like, my brain says, you ate that the other day, so why not eat it again! You'll be okay! I'm trying to ignore it and hope that by getting back to normal, the cravings will fade again. Hilary, wow, those potatoes sound good! I've never had them (although my housemate's new husband who lives here part time is LDS, coincidentally) but my housemate makes her mashed potatoes with cream cheese, marscapone cheese, and sour cream, and they are phenomenal, so I have trouble picturing them! Since my fill at the beginning of March, I've been losing about 1-1.5 lbs per week. The latest fill hasn't altered it that much, but I'm pretty much eating the same, so I didn't really expect it to. Mostly it's just made me hungry less often, which is really what I was aiming for. Trust me, I'd love to be losing 15 lbs a month, but I'm trying to be realistic and exercise some patience. Really not my strong suit. :-P

Your first fill rarely gets you into the green zone. Another unfortunate truth. Most people take 3-4 fills before they really get to that magic place where hunger isn't a persistent problem. The key is patience, which I know is easier said than done, but trust me. I know what I'm talking about. I took 7 fills before I got to the green zone, but my doctor admits I'm in the minority. Until you get the the green zone, you'll have to use some dieter's tricks to battle the hunger. First, remember the band rules and keep your portions small and eat SLOWLY. Not only does it make you less likely to have problems with the band, but it gives your brain time to catch up with with signals telling it you've already eaten. Second, make sure you get as much protein as possible. It will keep you satisfied the longest of all your foods. And third, try spacing your food throughout the day. If you eat smaller amounts more frequently, you can often make sure you get something in your belly before the hunger really starts to drive you insane. Good luck! This period of time isn't pleasant, but it won't last forever.

Hilary, I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend, but you sound like your head is in a really good place, and I'm proud of you for looking toward the future with a positive attitude. I'm also glad you got to the doctor and are starting on thyroid treatment. Every doctor I've been to has tested my thyroid thinking it would be low, but I always come back normal, so no extra boost for me. I hope yours works exactly the way you're hoping. Suzie, I hope you're feeling better today and remembering not to do to much. Recovery is a slow process, but it goes by faster when you don't push yourself too hard! As for me, I have to make my confession. I went a little off the reservation yesterday, after making it through the Easter weekend with flying colors. Work has me really stressed out at the moment, so I slipped back into a couple of my old habits yesterday. I finally gave into the lure of those pesky pistachios, which wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't eaten 2 servings at a time. Then at dinner, I got a call from my refrigerator and the bottle of prosecco that's been chilling inside, and I had a couple of glasses of that, so I went way over my calorie plan for the day. The one thing I am proud of is that I still logged everything I ate and drank, and I was surprised that the damage wasn't actually worse. I barely skimmed by under my break even point (the number of calories I need to maintain my current weight) but I didn't go over, so I am happy about that. Of course, the scale did go up a couple of tenths this morning, but I'm chalking that up to salt and not enough Water (plus PMS is almost upon me), so I hope it goes away soon. Today, I'm getting right back to my regularly scheduled programming! I hope everyone's week is off to a great start. Remember, we can do this!

It's impossible to tell. The first day or so, you might have some swelling, which will feel like restriction, but once it goes down, you may or may not notice any difference from that one fill. My first fill was 4cc/ml and I felt no effect at all. But I know someone with the same size band as me who reached her green zone at that level. Everyone is different. Hopefully you will be one of the lucky people who get a great effect from a single fill, but if you turn out not to be, please don't get discouraged. The band is adjustable precisely so that it can be customized to the level of fill that is right for you. That may be 4cc or it may be 10cc. There is no way to tell until the Fluid is in there. Just be patient and follow your plan. Who knows? 4cc might even be too much for your first fill. They should have you drink something before you leave the office (if they don't to the fill under flouro) and if you have any problem with that they will take some back out. For now, try not to worry and just let things happen. The band isn't magic, but once it starts working, you won't want to trade it for anything!

I would be very frank with your doctor the next time you see him. Tell him exactly how you are feeling and that you have absolutely NO restriction of any kind. I had the same experience. While "most" people might hit the green zone between 5cc and 6cc of Fluid, I needed 9.25cc (in an 11cc band). That totally freaked me out, because I had been told the same thing, that I should already be there. I spoke to my doctor about it, and she said that even though it is unusual, she has seen people who need more than 10cc to reach the green zone. Everyone is different. Tell your doctor exactly how much you eat at a meal and how long your satiety lasts after each one. If you can't stay satisfied for 4 hours or so on 1 cup of food, you're not in your green zone. I will tell you, though, that I felt pretty normal when I got filled up to 9cc, but the last 0.25cc fill was like a switch being thrown. 0-60 in 5.3 seconds! So that might be why your surgeon is being cautious. The GZ can sneak up on you!

Oh, you poor thing. yes, this time sucks. A LOT. But always remember that no matter how long it lasts (and it will seem like forever at times) it is only temporary, and when you finally get through it, the skills you have learned and the changes you have made will be so much more than worth it that it will fade from your memory like the color out of cheap cotton! Stay strong, stay focused, and you WILL beat this!

Awesome!

The mental part of this journey is the hardest part. Like everything else, it takes patience and persistence, but you'll get the hang of it after a while. You've done great so far, so just hang in there!

I hope everyone who celebrates has a Happy Easter today, and for those who don't, I hope you enjoy a wonderful Sunday. Mine will be spent working, but since I'm waaaaaaaaay behind on my work deadline, I really only have myself to blame. Hilary, wow! 50 miles? That's awesome! I'm so proud of you! Personally, I've been terrible at exercising at the moment. I pulled a calf muscle, which makes walking painful, and I have no in home exercise equipment, so with the weather being rainy until just the last day or two, my motivation has been lacking. Another reason why I'm being so careful with my food choices. I know my doctor would not be happy with me, but until I can flex my calf without pain, I'm just going to focus on my eating and cross my fingers that the scale keeps going down. Ponce I can walk again, the dogs are going go be thrilled to get some more walks, so there's that to look forward to. Everyone stay strong and have a great day!

Suzie, good luck with the holiday. Mine will be quiet, so I'm hoping not to face too many challenges. The chicken sausage is great. Just like turkey. I bought mine at Whole Foods where they sell it loose so that I didn't have to get it out of the casing like if I had bought links. And the pizza was awesome. My dough recipe makes one pizza with a super thin crust about 10-12" in diameter. In the past, I have happily scarfed an entire one all by myself. This time I had 2 slices (which together are about the size of a single slice of commercial pizza) and it was awesome. I was totally satisfied and now I have leftovers! It was a little lower in protein than my usual dinner, but I had plenty of protein in my other foods and there was still a good amount, so I felt pretty good about it. Now I need to buckle down and get to work, so I hope everyone enjoys the weekend!

I LOVE Myfitnesspal. Deeply. I have to count calories. If I don't, it's too easy to lie to myself about how much I'm eating. I also love that it counts protein and let's me keep track of my water intake. But lately, my favorite part has been the My Recipe function. I love to cook, and lately I've really been getting into adapting my favorite recipes to be band friendly. It's so awesome to be able to add a recipe and let the program tell me exactly how many calories and grams of protein are in a serving of my favorite homemade foods. It's super awesome!

You're never a failure until you stop trying! The fact that you've joined us here and chosen to see your surgeon and get back on track makes you a success. We all know how you feel, because we've all been there, and we will support you as you look to get started again.

Who did an evil thing like bring in Easter candy?!? That deserves punishment! Thankfully, my housemate will be helping her husband pack up his old apartment this weekend, so I won't be faced with major temptations from the holiday. Just the regular ones! Of course, I've been having a craving, so I'm doing an experiment tonight with homemade, thin crust pizza with chicken sausage and spinach. We'll see how that works out. Have a great day, everyone.