morelgirl

WARNING: This post is brought to you almost exclusively by Emotional Me. She isn't happy. Whoever came up with the idea that weight loss is merely a matter of calories in v. calories out was a moron. But I might be a bigger moron for buying into it. Being overweight is a hugely complex issue, one that might be affected by, but has a lot more to it than, merely eating too much or moving too little. If it didn't have a lot more to it, there wouldn't be so many of us who dieted and failed to lose weight, exercised and failed to lose weight, cut portions and failed to lose weight. Who just plain failed to lose weight. Do a little research and the internet will tell you that in order to lose 1 pound of fat, you simply need to eat 3500 fewer calories than you have expended. Allow me to demonstrate to you that this is b@#&$%!t, using myself as an example: Using multiple factors including my height, my weight, my sex, my age, and my level of activity (which I underestimated, just to be safe), I calculated my Basal Metabolic Rate and the number of calories required by my body each week at present time in order to maintain my current rate. We'll call that number B (for Baseline). Next, I used My Fitness Pal to track every single item that passed my lips during the past seven days. I'm not kidding about that. If I ate it or drank it, I tracked it, including my 1 calorie calcium supplements and my 5 calorie multivitamins. I missed nothing. My Fitness Pal is great in that it keeps track of each day's calories and also charts your average calories throughout the week. We'll call the number of calories I consumed C (for Consumed). According to the experts, weight loss is a simple matter of B - C = X . If X is a negative number, then that means you're using more calories than you're eating and you should begin to lose weight. If X is -3500, then you should lose 1 pound. This equation is crap. I know this because in my B - C = X equation for last week, my X = -7036. I ate 7036 calories fewer than my body required to maintain its weight last week. And what happened? I lost 0.3 lbs. 0.3 Frankly, I'm hocked off. But more than that, I'm scared to death. All the lap band can do for me is to help me to consume less food and fewer calories. If doing that won't actually translate into weight loss, what the hell have I done? What have I spent all those thousandds of dollars on? What have I put my body through? What have I been obsessing over for all this time? Has this all been a big, heinous mistake? I'd like to allow Logical Me to talk me down from this clock tower I'm occupying at the moment, but frankly, I can't hear a word she's saying over the ranting, raving, and screaming of Emotional Me. Eventually, I hope Emotional Me gets tired and shuts up (or just screams so much, she loses her voice) and Logical Me can get me back on track, but today, so far, is NOT a good day.

Congrats on doing so well!

otaknam... you can access your signature under the "My Settings" option in the menu that pops up when you click on the little white upside-down triangle next to your user name at the top of the screen. Click on My Settings, and SIgnature will be one of the choices on the menu at the left hand side of the screen.

No one enjoys the pre-op diet. Mine was two weeks of nothing but skim milk. Even now (surgery was 3 weeks ago tomorrow) I still can't even think about drinking the stuff The first 3 days of the diet were the worst. Oddly enough, it does get easier. Not EASY, but easIER! You can do it!!!

I had the hernia repain also. My surgeon said he always checks for one and repairs it if he sees it because he finds one in 50-60% of his patients. Which I think makes it fairly common.

Tee and XTA - sp glad to hear from you both that all went well. Good luck on your recoveries! Keep us posted.

I want to thank everyone who's been reading my ranting posts, and especially all of you who've taken the time to comment. It's such a relief to get these thoughts off my chest sometimes, but it helps even more to hear from others and know that I'm not alone in feeling the way I do. Maybe it's my persecution complex talking, but there are times when being a fat person in our skinny-obsessed society is the most isolating experience in the world. And being a fat person who has been unable to lose weight is the worst. If I had a dollar for every time someone has asked if I've thought about losing weight, I'd be rich. I might also be in prison, because the more it gets asked, the more I want to smack them upside the head while yelling (at my loudest and most sarcastic), "No! I've never thought of that! Oh, my goodness, I've been having SO MUCH FUN being fat and ostracized and mocked and ignored and insulted and slighted and exposed to ridicule that it NEVER EVEN OCCURRED to me to try to lose weight! Thank you so much for being the frst person to point out that I'm fat, or I never would have figured it out!" Not that I'm bitter or anything. Anyway, I don't need to be bitter anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm still fat. In fact, for another 5 pounds or so I'll continue to be mordibly obese. After all, I was only banded 2.5 weeks ago, so the journey is just beginning for me, but for the first time in my life, I honestly believe that I have a chance to succeed. Even with my band unfilled, I still am able to be satisfied with eating much less than I ever have before. I'm conscious of my portions and my calories, but I'm content with what I'm allowed, not always finishing a meal still wanting more and not starving in between them. Once I get some restriction, I really believe that I'll be able to succeed where in the past I've always failed. Even better than that, though, is the knowledge that I'm so not doing this alone. I have all the other members here at LBT going through exactly what I am. I can share my feelings with you and know you'll understand. I can ask questions and know that you'll answer. And I can get tips and ideas I never would have thought of myself without having to go digging through the entire internet to find them. That rocks so hard. So, thanks, all of you. And here's hoping we all succeed together.

My bff/housemate went to stay with her fiance for the weekend, so this is the first time I've been alone (I mean, other than when she's at work during the day...I work from home) since being banded. I was a little worried that old habits might kick in and have me eating badly while left to my own devices. Even though I've been making all my own meals this whole time, in the time BB (before banding) a weekend alone would have seen me too lazy to cook and living on take out or fast food. I mean, why bother going to the trouble to actually take care of myself when there's no one to eat with and no one to see my bad habits? Fortunately, AB (after banding) I'm still feeling the motivation of a new adventure and did pretty well for myself. Spending a bunch of time on LBT did, of course, help me keep focused and honest with myself. I'm being more and more careful about weighing and measuring my food as opposed to guesstimating. After so many times on Weight Watchers, I generally do farly well with estimating tablespoons and cups, but it's always good to give myself a refresher course. I also did some cooking. I found a recipe for Wendy's chili that made so much of the stuff that my freezer is now full of tiny cups of it! I also cooked a couple of chicken breasts in the crockpot until they fell apart and I've been using those for chicken salad. Just add lite mayo, plain greek yogurt and spices and it's pretty yummy. I'd love to throw in some diced celery and pickle relish, but I'm still wary of those fibrous vegetables. Maybe in another few weeks. Wednesday will mark my 3 weeks since surgery. Since my doctor plans to do my first fill at my 4 week appointment and wants me ready for solids by that point, I'll probably begin transitioning to soft solids in the second half of this week. Like with every other stage of this progression, I have my initial, "what counts as a soft solid?" confusion going on at the moment, but I'll figure it out. After all, I can always look it up on the forums!

Welcome, Sonia. The forums here are a great place to share ups and downs, look for advice, get support, and just hang out. Everyone either has been through what you have, or is gearing up to go through it soon. Congratulations on your surgery! With the great attitude you've expressed, I'm sure you'll have great success.

I don't think it's about saying the "right things" or the "wrong things." It's about being honest so that your WLS team can get a clear picture of where you are and what you need to do in order to be successful. If you don't tell the nutritionist about what you're currently eating, you might miss out on some valuable tips that will help to prepare you for surgery and your new life afterward. The thing I always tell myself when I worry about stuff like this is that there is no way I can be the worst patient they've ever seen. People in the medical and related professions have "been there and done that" and have certainly dealt with people doing worse than you. Be honest and be open to accepting the advice your nutritionist and psychologist have to offer. Those tips could be what make your journey a success.

Here's wishing good luck and speedy recoveries to anyone scheduled for surgery this week! How is everyone doing who went in last week?

So I weighed in yesterday and lost 0.9 lbs. This led to the immediate recognition of the fact that at the moment, I have a split personality. I call them Logical Me and Emotional Me. Logical Me tells me that any weight loss is good weight loss. I'm currently in "Bandster Hell," that period of time between my surgery and my first fill when my appetite has returned, but the band is not yet offering me any restriction. Logical Me points out that a lot of people stop losing weight now entirely and many even gain some weight. She also wants me to remember that the slower the weight loss, the better my skin will be able to adjust and the less loose skin I may have when I reach my goal. And finally, Logical Me would like to point out that I've spent at least ten years getting to this weight from my last lowest point, so it's dumb of me to expect that I'll lose it in a couple of months. Emotional me is too busy wailing and gnashing her teeth to tell me anything. Somewhere buried in her incoherent sobs, I am able to make out a few thoughts, though, like how can I not lose more weight when I've been eating no more than 1000 calories per day? Or, OMG am I going to fail this attempt at weight loss just like I have all the other ones after I've spent all this money on having surgery? Maybe the band won't help me. Maybe I'm just destined to be fat my whole life, and I'll just keep gaining weight even if I stop eating all together for the rest of my life. Maybe this was all a wasted effort and I should just go crawl under a rock and forget about ever being healthy and happy with myself. I'd like to slap Emotional Me across the face and tell her to shut her w&!@# mouth. I know those thoughts are ridiculous, but that doesn't mean I can completely erase them from the back of my mind. All I can do is turn up the volume on Logical Me, keep reading the forums, and keep poking along at whatever pace my body deems appropriate. After all, when it comes down to it, I didn't get this surgery just to drop weight; I got it to help me make a huge and permanent lifestyle change that will result in gradual and permanent weight loss. Maybe if I got that tattooed on the back of my hand, it would be easier to remember...

OMG, since surgery (2.5 weeks ago) I sound like a drunken frat boy with the burping! I rarely ever burped before and found it horribly embarrassing when I did. Now, I burp loudly several times a day and just wince before getting on with life. If that's the worst side effect of the band, I'll deal!

I'm starting this with the uncertainty whether I hope or dread anyone reading it, not to mention the hard-earned inability to believe that even this step will really be able to accomplish the thing to which it seems I've dedicated my life: losing weight. Unsucessfully, natch. I remember being on my first diet by the age of 9; I got my lap band (a Realize band, actually) on February 1, 2012, a little less than 3 month before my 37th birthday. Did I give up on losing the weight on my own? Maybe, but I prefer to think of it as giving up on the DELUSION that I could lose it on my own. Yes, I said it--it was a delusion. Delusional thinking. I've dieted for almost my entire life; if dieting actually led to weight loss, I'd be f'ing Kate Moss by now. Heck, I'd have melted away to nothing more than a decade ago. Atkins? Did it. Sonoma? Did it. Cabbage soup? Grapefruit? Mayo Clinic? Done, done, done. Jenny Craig? Check. Weight Watchers? Which of the nine times do you want to discuss? Counting calories? Yup, as well as counting fat, counting carbs, and counting numbers of bites. I became a human abacus. I saw a nutritionist for two years, and a therapist for even longer. I worked on my issues even as I worked harder at losing weight than at anything else in my life, but the lesson I learned from all of that work was that dieting doesn't. It doesn't work, and it most especially doesn't work for me. Enter, the band. Through five little incisions right in my belly. It is even now wrapped around my stomach and giving me a new (if still shaky) hope that maybe I can finally solve this problem. You know the one. The one that makes buying clothes not only difficult, but occasionally humiliating. The one that makes other people's gazes either slide right over you, or linger in that way that makes you want to crawl under a rock and hide. The one that makes doctors blame anything you ask for their help with on the same thing, regardless of symptoms, cause, or duration. The one that makes anyone in the medical profession ask if you've ever considered losing weight, as if you hadn't noticed you were fat and the idea of attempting to be thin had never even occurred to you. Yeah, that one. The issue here is that one week after surgery and 13.7 pounds down from my pre-pre-op-diet weight, I still haven't decided whether or not I believe this solution will work. I hope--God knows, I hope--but I can't quite commit to optimism yet. All I've got at the moment is that hope, and the kind of anticipation you feel before a huge exam. I know I studied, and I know the material backward and forward, but I still can't help feeling that I still could fail, just because I've done it before. Still, fingers crossed and breath held and band installed. I've even begun to transition (with desperation induced permission from my surgeon...I couldn't take liquids anymore) onto purees. Maybe this will work. Maybe I'll blog here more than this once. I don't know what the future holds yet, but I really hope it's good.

Hi Kathy, I have a Realize band. It was installed 2/1, just about 2 weeks ago. My surgeon uses both Realize and Lapband products and says he doesn't see a difference in the results with either band, but believes the Realize is better suited to certain anatomical shapes. Since I trusted his expertise, I left the decision about wt band to use up to him and he went with the Realize. I haven't had it long and haven't been filled yet, but I've had no problems.

I used NOW Sports unflavored whey protein and mixed it with Trop 50 orange juice (to keep the calories lower than with standard oj, which has lots of sugar) in my blender. It tasted like a super-orangey Orange Julius!

I don't know if this will help, but the only thing that worked for me was gritting my teeth and keeping my eyes on the prize. My pre-op diet wasn't pleasant. All I was allowed was skim milk and calorie free Clear liquids for 2 weeks. The first 3 days, I wanted to kill someone, or maybe just gnaw on their arm, but after that, it got strangely easier. Since I knew I had no options for other things to eat, it was a little easier to just not eat anything. Also, after paying self-pay for the whole procedure, there was no way I was going to jeopardize my chances at the surgery by disobeying surgeon's orders. Honestly, I say just buck up and bull through it. It's only a short period of time and once it's over, the rewards will more than make up for the sacrifices. Good luck!

Things are still going really well in BandLand. Today marks 2 weeks since surgery--no pain, soreness at the large incision (port site) is barely noticeable anymore, no gas pain (Although I am burping waaaaaaaay more than I ever did before surgery. Is that weird, or has anyone else noticed that? Before surgery, a burp was a rare and embarrassing event for me. Now, several times a day, I end up sounding like a drunken frat boy. Thankfully, my housemate is merely amused by this.). I'm happily eating my mushies and incorporating some very finely minced meats, my favorites so far being black bean soup with salsa and sour cream garnish, and chili. Yum. The one food issue I worry about at the moment is getting my veggies; not because I'm afraid of getting stuck (so far, I can eat anything, and I do mean anything) but because I get so full just getting in my protein that I don't have room for any! I guess that's why my surgeon wants me taking a multivitamin, but I'd still rather eat fresh vegetables. I like veggies! I know I'm getting some between the salsas and the veggies in the chili and such, but sometimes I still crave some plain steamed broccoli, or a pile of sugar snap peas! Tonight* is my weigh in, and I'm a little nervous about having gained in the past week since transitioning off of liquids. Even though I've been keeping count of my calories (Wow! I am sooooo addicted to MyFitnessPal on my iPad!!!) and staying at around 1000/day, I know from past experience that my body can hang onto weight on nothing but saltines and water! But, fingers crossed. I keep telling myself that this is a journey, and I've barely finished buttoning my coat and stepping out the front door. Maybe that will help me remember to be patient and let the band help me toward my goals. * Yes, I weigh at night. I know most people weigh in the morning and that morning weight tends to be lower than night weight, but my morning schedule is much less consistent than my nights, so if I weigh in the morning, I NEVER end up weighing in at the same time two weeks in a row. Plus, the difference in day and night weights seems to also compensate for the difference between my scale and the doctor's scale.

@sweetsoutherngirl and @Jesika80 Glad to hear both your surgeries went well. Hope you both have speedy recoveries and lots of success! Good luck and good thoughts for anyone going tomorrow!

Congratulations! I hope to have a similar story to tell one of these days.

Good luck, Tee! I'm sure you'll do fine, but I'll be sending good thoughts your way!

Gas-x strips are helpful. Have your Protein shakes ready and make sure your blender or food processor is in working order. I found liquid tylenol helpful for when I wasn't feeling enough pain for the liquid vicodin, but still had some discomfort. A pill crusher is a help if you have prescription meds that can be smashed to take. My nutritionist also wanted me to have a chewable or liquid Multivitamin, as well as a chewable or liquid calcium+D supplement to take daily. I also wanted to have things to do to keep my busy while I couldn't move around much (other than stare at the TV ) so I had a crossword puzzle book, a couple of new books to read, and (of course) my iPad.

Congrats, Amanda! I'm sorry to hear you had the breathing trouble, but very happy to hear your overall experience was a positive one. Here's hoping the rest of your journey is as smooth and satisfying as the beginning.

Good luck with that. I didn't use insurance, so I didn't have much waiting. Then again, I now don't have much money after shelling out for self-pay.

Congratulations, Stace, and good luck! And same to all the other February bandsters, those already post-op and those still waiting. I know we'll all do fabulously!