phatkatblue

Well, yesterday I was. I was happy for 5 minutes. Maybe 7. I didn't time it (though now I think maybe I should have).
 
I had my weekly weigh in, and for the first time since the week after surgery, I actually lost 1 whole pound. Plus. I lost 1.8 lbs. Yippee! That's like a normal weight loss, right? That means I really CAN lose 1-2 lbs per week just like the surgeon told me. I can be a real bandster! I can lose this *#$#&$%@! weight in less than 5 years! I can do it! I ROOOOCCCCCKKKKKKK!
 
Then I remembered that I lost 0 last week. Zero. Zilch. Goose eggs. The big nothing. Which meant that my mind automatically did the math (I hate when it does that. I hate math.) and calculated that this fact brought my average down to 0.9 lbs for those 2 weeks.
 
Yup, less than a pound a week.
 
Cue 3-year-old temper tantrum. It was a thing of beauty. Seriously. I scared the dogs.
 
At this point, I'm seriously considering adding lithium to my list of supplements. These mood swings can't be healthy. Yesterday, I let my annoyance guide my eating (but I still tracked it all). Today, I'm back to sanity (or my version of it) and reminding myself that I get a fill next week. My second fill. One that will hopefully bring me that much closer to restriction. I want it so bad I can taste it, and it tastes like skinny.

WELL GOT MY FIRST FILL TODAY ..YEAH ME I HAD 3.4 IN MY BAND FRM SURGERY HE PUT IN 1.1 SO NOW I HAVE 4.5 IN MY 10 BAND I HOPE THIS HELPS .. DAD IS DOIN O.K. CHEMO AN RADIATION JUST STATRED, HE IS STILL EATTING FOOD SO THAT IS GOOD I ALSO HAVE DECIDED THAT MY NEW OUTLET WILL BE THE GYM OR A GOOD BOOK INSTEAD OF FOOD SO UPST I GAINED 5LBS IN 6 WEEKS WTH.. WELL NOT GONNA BEAT MYSELF UP OVER IT I KNOW NOW WHAT I GOTTA DO TO CHANGE IT......ENJOY UR DAY ALL...............

the numbers...
 
lets start there because that's what matters here right!!! when i went into surgery i weighed 233# and today i am 221. i have been down on myself for these numbers mostly because it is easy to get into a comparison game with other wls folks and this is absolutely silly. i have lost 12# in a month and this is indeed spectacular! if i continued to lose at this pace i would be at my goal weight in six months! however, i know this may not be a realistic goal as my weight loss has been extremely slow over the past two weeks...according to my surgeon a 1-2# weight loss a week is what is expected with the lapband and any more than that is phenomenal. i have not been as diligent in tracking my measurements which will be key for me because let's face it, we all need some way to measure success, and if the scale is not moving it can quickly become...well, depressing. i picked up some new vocab while perusing this site and found that NSV's are also a cause for celebration! this may seem like a no-brainer, but i have never thought of doing this the past 800 billion other times i have tried to lose weight. so here are a few of
 
my NSV's...
 
doing some type of physical activity---> daily!
sticking to allotted food items--->daily!
logging my food, mood, and exercise-->daily!
testing my blood sugars-->daily!
 
trying to be encouraging and supportive to at least one other person on this journey--->daily
fitting into a pair of jeans that are one size smaller!
needing to wear a belt with all of my other pants!
improving my time and distance when walking outside
finding ways to celebrate that do not include alcohol and food
 
my pain...
 
my pain is virtually non-existent and i can pretty much do everything i was doing before surgery. i still have some discomfort and pain in the area of my largest incision at times. i am still not able to sleep/lay on my stomach and i still have some swelling in this area...(anyone else have this 4 weeks out)? also, i seem to have developed a slight headache issue...this happens at least once daily and i am not sure of this is due to my sugars dropping too low, a sign that i'm not drinking enough, or that i'm letting too much time go by between meals...i'm keeping an eye on it.
 
a lump...
 
i have had what feels like a lump in my throat for the past 3-4 days...i'm also trying not to read to much into this as i have had this feeling before pre-band and it has been attributed to anxiety...anxiety! what anxiety?! i have been off work for almost a month, completed school a week ago, have been eating better for almost two months and have been exercising daily for the past month...what gives? being on this forum i have come to understand that this is sign of other things, like being stuck, being too tight, reflux, gas, and on and on...i have not had a fill yet and i am able to get down liquids and foods just fine...i'm going to see my primary care physician this friday who is also banded and i will discuss this with her.
 
burping...
 
ok...so i am finding that burping has become...weird! about half of the time when i burp instead of going out they go in and then i spend the rest of the night expelling this gas from various places or burping outwards all that i burped in several hours later...does this make sense? anyone else experience this? burping outwards is grand!
 
support...
 
my biggest supporter in this journey, my husband, was banded yesterday! i am so happy for him and happy to have him take this journey with me! he has decided to name his band "wife #2"!!! i am thankful for this site and other social media that i use and for all that have commented on anything or reached out in any way! i am on fitbit, mfp, and youtube as phatkatblue please add me if you use any of those outlets...the more support and encouragement the better:) i have also found that getting on these sites encouraging others and reading their stories has been good for me as well...
 
till next week in weight loss and beyond...

Ok i know that i already posted a blog earlier but i cant help but to remember things that i want to talk about and didn't. Life with lap band isn't perfect and it wasn't meant to be its a tool just like a computer or a calculator is its there for help. It isnt there to just take the fat away while you do nothing its not an easy fix, now the reason i say this is because i can not count the number of time i have been told well isnt that cheating? And this is my answer "NO you dont understand i have a leave of control that wasn't there before. I have this tool to help me to not make bad choices and sometimes i do and then i realize by my own hard hardheadedness that maybe i shouldn't have done that. But again its nothing more then a tool". Then another question i have been ask is Why couldn't you have just done this on your own? This would be my Favorite question. And here is what i usually say " have you ever been on a diet and got stuck at one number and at the end of the day you just felt like it wasn't worth it any more? Well it was like that for me and i would give up or maybe you went on a diet but at the same time wanted a big plate of food and you just said screw it and ate whatever you wanted any ways and then gained weight and the whole thing just didn't seem to work for you? that is why i did it because i need control and i need a way that wont let me cheat and i need to feel like i can do something about the way that i look." Here is what the people who love you and care about you need to understand its all about you with lap band now i dont mean go and forget about others but you have to make your weight loss something that is yours. Something that you can control and something that is for you because if you dont want to do it then you wont. It has to be for you and yes there are other reasons mine was i wanted to go to a water park with my family and wear a swim suit nothing skanky just wear one again. i told my self that if i could get down to the 100s by Christmas we were going to great wolf lodge (its an indoor water park). I know i was banded in September and didnt give my self much time but for Christmas i was at that water park and i was in a swimming suit. Again nothing skanky and i wore shorts and a shirt but the good thing was that i didnt really have to and i damn sure didnt have to wear boys swim trunks and i didnt have to wear about ten undershirts. I was in a women swimming suit and i wasnt scared of well maybe i shouldnt wear this im too fat. i was 210lbs and that to me was so much better then 280. I have done things now that i would have never been able to do before. If i had never have done this for myself and done it for someone else i don't think that i would have stuck with it. I think it would have been like everything else that i had done before to try and get the weight off and yes before it was for someone else and it wasn't ever really for me.
Some question will really get to you and might even make you think well should i really have done this? When i had this done i didn't want to let anyone know what i did i was scared that they would think i was cheating and that i had failed. But i realized that not to many people really think that not to many people are really that fast to judge you. However i have found some that are. See when you start to loose a lot of weight people what to know how, how you did it and what you are doing. And again at first these where not easy question to answer i mean how are you supposed to tell people that you have had weight loss surgery. For a while i thought well maybe i have cheated myself maybe i could have done this on my own and i didn't really need the lap band. But the truth was always there i needed some help i needed it and so i posted on Facebook what i did and just sat and waited. I waited to see what people would think of me now that they had the chance to ask me and find out what i had really done. and it turns out most of the feed back that i got wasn't bad it was mostly all good, and then there is the question here it is " was your husband going to leave you because you where so fat?" No my husband loved me for me not for what i looked like i mean he says that i am more fun now but he has always loved me.
I get a look sometimes when i tell people that i have had lap band like ummm you did what? and sometimes its a pitty look like oh that poor girl she must have weighted 500lbs. But with time it gets easier to deal with all the questions all the bad look and you end up just smiling and knowing that you did what was right for you. And do be surprised when people act like you didn't know you were fat. LOL this is one of the questions i hate the most. " well what made you decide you were fat?" Im always like wtf! Do you really think that i didnt know i was fat? I looked im a mirror every day of my life. In fact i didnt decide i was fat i decided to get help for myself, because i wasn't doing a very good job on my own.
Here is something else that i have learned people treat you different even some of your friends will treat you different. I mean people are nice but sometimes when someone sees you like a cable guy or something they will be nice but that's pretty much it. Example i had a cable guy come to my house to install internet for after my surgery. He was nice answered all my questions and did his job and left. two months ago i had to call them back because of some outside issues and the way i was treated was completely different he had a conversation with me and told me all kinds of things but when i was bigger he wouldn't say more then a few words to me at a time. People in stores treat you different to my husband thought i was joking until i told him to come in a store with me. One that him and i had been in when i was bigger and i had to ask for help and i had to get my own stuff they did very very little. But as soon as i walked in all of a sudden i had three people ask me what they could get for me and what size i needed. My husband has never questioned that again. When your big sometimes its hard for us to take up for our selves sometimes its like well whats the point? And i cant speek for any one else but i was like that for a long time after the surgery i didnt see the difference and i thought well if someone was to call me fat all i could do is cry and go home like i always do. Untill two weeks ago i didnt realize that i did look different that i wasnt really "fat" any more. but i was standing up to people who i would have never stood up to before, i got to a point where i wasn't going to let any one say anything about the way that i looked what my children where eating or anything and for the first time i stood up for my step son and it felt really good to do that for my child. That was another turning point were i thought wow i can do this and i didnt loose it i wasn't told to sit down and shut up and i wasn't called fat.
LIfe after lap band isnt always fun and its not easy but i would say its more then worth it. And sometimes its crazy frustrating i mean who doesn't want a big burger from time to time or a big soda or just alot of crap all at once. But when you realize that you have the control and the will not to it all seems worth it. when your daughter comes up to you and throws her arms around you and says WOW MOM i can fit my arms around you like twice, then its all worth it. When you can do things with your husband that before just were not possible then its worth it. When you see a man from your past that put you down and told you, you where ugly and fat and couldn't been seen with you, and he says to you wow your so pretty and you can just sit and smile and tell him thank you or tell him he can go to hell which ever then you know that it was all worth it.

I had my first fill today at True Results in Houston. I was nervous and really did not know what to expect. I waited almost a hour for my turn, filled out paper work and went to the back with the nurse. She was trying to make me more comfortable by telling me everything she was doing but that did not work She started with a small needle and lots of pushing, which just felt odd. It did not hurt, but it did not feel good either. She determined that she need a longer need to reach my port, so the second time was a charm. She took out the saline that was in the band and measured it. I have a 10CC band and there was already 5CC in it!! She added 1 CC today for a total of 6 in my band. No wonder I have not been hungry!! I sat for about 15 minutes and drank my water and I am feeling good. I am on liquids for today and soft food tomorrow and then back to regular food. I have lost 12 pounds since my surgery and I will see them again next month. I hope it will be another good month for me!!
 
On a side note since I first began the process with them in December I have lost a total of 33 pounds!!

the numbers...
 
lets start there because that's what matters here right!!! when i went into surgery i weighed 233# and today i am 221. i have been down on myself for these numbers mostly because it is easy to get into a comparison game with other wls folks and this is absolutely silly. i have lost 12# in a month and this is indeed spectacular! if i continued to lose at this pace i would be at my goal weight in six months! however, i know this may not be a realistic goal as my weight loss has been extremely slow over the past two weeks...according to my surgeon a 1-2# weight loss a week is what is expected with the lapband and any more than that is phenomenal. i have not been as diligent in tracking my measurements which will be key for me because let's face it, we all need some way to measure success, and if the scale is not moving it can quickly become...well, depressing. i picked up some new vocab while perusing this site and found that NSV's are also a cause for celebration! this may seem like a no-brainer, but i have never thought of doing this the past 800 billion other times i have tried to lose weight. so here are a few of
 
my NSV's...
 
doing some type of physical activity---> daily!
sticking to allotted food items--->daily!
logging my food, mood, and exercise-->daily!
testing my blood sugars-->daily!
 
trying to be encouraging and supportive to at least one other person on this journey--->daily
fitting into a pair of jeans that are one size smaller!
needing to wear a belt with all of my other pants!
improving my time and distance when walking outside
finding ways to celebrate that do not include alcohol and food
 
my pain...
 
my pain is virtually non-existent and i can pretty much do everything i was doing before surgery. i still have some discomfort and pain in the area of my largest incision at times. i am still not able to sleep/lay on my stomach and i still have some swelling in this area...(anyone else have this 4 weeks out)? also, i seem to have developed a slight headache issue...this happens at least once daily and i am not sure of this is due to my sugars dropping too low, a sign that i'm not drinking enough, or that i'm letting too much time go by between meals...i'm keeping an eye on it.
 
a lump...
 
i have had what feels like a lump in my throat for the past 3-4 days...i'm also trying not to read to much into this as i have had this feeling before pre-band and it has been attributed to anxiety...anxiety! what anxiety?! i have been off work for almost a month, completed school a week ago, have been eating better for almost two months and have been exercising daily for the past month...what gives? being on this forum i have come to understand that this is sign of other things, like being stuck, being too tight, reflux, gas, and on and on...i have not had a fill yet and i am able to get down liquids and foods just fine...i'm going to see my primary care physician this friday who is also banded and i will discuss this with her.
 
burping...
 
ok...so i am finding that burping has become...weird! about half of the time when i burp instead of going out they go in and then i spend the rest of the night expelling this gas from various places or burping outwards all that i burped in several hours later...does this make sense? anyone else experience this? burping outwards is grand!
 
support...
 
my biggest supporter in this journey, my husband, was banded yesterday! i am so happy for him and happy to have him take this journey with me! he has decided to name his band "wife #2"!!! i am thankful for this site and other social media that i use and for all that have commented on anything or reached out in any way! i am on fitbit, mfp, and youtube as phatkatblue please add me if you use any of those outlets...the more support and encouragement the better:) i have also found that getting on these sites encouraging others and reading their stories has been good for me as well...
 
till next week in weight loss and beyond...

“At some point in life you have to face your fears, and head on even though you can’t be sure of the outcome. A great deal of people will never reach their dreams and it won’t have anything to do with their ability or skill set. They won’t reach their dreams because they were too afraid to try.”
 
~Eric Thomas~

I think I am adjusting pretty well. So far I have lost 12 pounds in the almost month since surgery. I have my first fill on 3/14. I still am feeling pretty good. I do not eat anymore than 1/2- 1 cup at a time and I always eat my protein first. Water is a bit of a struggle because I have to make sure that I drink it slow enough to not cause this overwhelming feeling of being super full. Mushies have been so great!! But honestly I am not looking forward to solids. The thought kinda scares me. I know I can not stay on soft food forever, but i just am not looking forward to regular food. And I will be back to liquid and mushies after I get my fill for a day or two, so I really will not have a chance to actually be on solids for long. Sigh....... I am enjoying not being focused on food and also I have learned the difference in between being hungry and just eating for the heck of it!
 
My mother is not really happy that I did this. She told me that between her and my brother that they thought I was being vain and it was not as though I was spilling out of my clothes and falling out of my seat. Well, I am never going to spill out of clothes, because I always have clothes that fit. But buying a size 24 in said clothes is not ideal. Oh and nevermind that I take meds for high BP for two years( I was able to stop those recently) or that my back, knees and feet were hurting all the time. My feet will swell at the drop of a hat due to the amount of walking I do and the weight I carry. I am only 37 years old and quite honestly I should not have these "old lady issues" So it hurt my feeling when she said it, but I just told her that I did this for me and my health. I can't place my health and expectations on no one but me.
 
I have been getting lots of compliments on how defined my face is looking. I looked in the mirror and it actually looked "skinny" to me!! I can not express how happy I am that I have made the choice to do this!

Today marks the begining of my sixth (6th) week back on track. Still can't believe that I had this restriction all the time and was not allowing it to do its job! Still keep wondering if its just willpower. Still amazed at how often hunger really happens in our heads! Today was extremely easy, the easiest day I've ever had when it comes to eating! I had absolutely no appetite an now I truly understand what it means to eat to live.
 
I now eat insanely small amounts of food and feel satisfied. I try to average the necessary calories per week for a 2-3lb loss per week. I can and do eat(or sometimes taste) most foods that I want to. Some days I go as high as 1100 cals and others I go as low as 600 (protein shake days).
 
I have lost 4lbs this week. YAAAAY!!! I weighed in at 315 this morning and that's 20lbs loss since I re-started my journey on 3rd Feb '12, which originally began in 2008 with me weighing in at 352lbs. I have lost 37lbs overall!!!
 
I am down from size 26 dress to a snug-fitting 22 in the five weeks. I am still receiving complements, the degree of which depends on how long ago the complementee (word? lol) has seen me.
 
My major goal for this month is to get my BMI below 50... even if its 49.99 lol. I am pretty close cause it's now 50.8. Also I have started to exercise. I have pledged to myself to walk at least 15 minutes a day everyday, even if it kills me! lol I have been keeping my pledge since last Saturday. YAAAY!!! lol
 
Till next time..... I continue on my weigh down!

Lost 3 more lbs, two more months and then surgery!
I used to have these "pockets" of fat under my boobs, I'm young I can say boobs, and they're gone!! My calves are getting toned, theres an indent in the side! My back is smoothing out! My face is slimming down! haha Sorry, just really excited. My skin is lightening and my cycle came by it self this month! I wanted french bread pizza today, two slices, saw it was 470 calories for one, said nope! had turkey bacon, an egg with egg whites, and weight watchers toast.
 
I don't think I've ever felt so good!

Wednesday night was the Seminar on WLS. I found it very informative but also felt prepared after scouring this website so much! There was about 10 people there, the WLS Coordinator spoke first then one of the three Bariatric Surgeons. I was actually a little let down, I had gone in so stoked about the Lap Band, and the surgeon that came actually disliked Bands and much preferred the Sleeve or Bypass over Bands ("difficult to balance, very easy to put in, very low risk BUT highest failure rate with post-op weight loss).
 
After the seminar I introduced myself to the coordinator and we chatted for a moment about my insurance (I asked if I could fax back in the paperwork instead of mail - again, I'm Type A, tell me to do something I get it done, and I want it finished NOW). She asked more specifics on my plan and when I filled her in that I had UHC through my husbands employer, and who that was, she was ecstatic! She said she had already approved 3 patients that worked for his employer this year, and the insurance was an absolute dream to work with. She said to fax in my paperwork ASAP, she would get it done the next day.
 
I came home FULL of info, got my paperwork filled out and faxed in the next morning (Thurs.). Cathy (WLS Coordinator) called that night about 6:30 and said that I completely met their criteria, it was VERY basic criteria, and they've given me pre-approval! She locked in my benefits, 20% co-insurance after my deductible (which I've almost met) and out of pocket max of $6000, which by the time surgery rolls around it should cost me only about $1500-$2500 out of pocket, then EVERYTHING will be covered the rest of the year since I will have met my max!
 
So now...appointments! There are about 20 steps before surgery. Tomorrow I have to have 13 lab tests done. On March 21st I have my 4 hour appt with the Dietician/Internal Medicine/Surgery Coordinator/Physical Educator, then the following week I have two appointments set up for my Psych Evaluation.
 
The timeline said to allow 2-3 weeks for insurance pre-approval and I got it in one day. I still need authorization, which comes right before surgery when I've done EVERYTHING and am ready to go, but Cathy said it should be a breeze.
 
I'm excited for the whole thing. 539 question psych test? Yay! Two weeks of skim milk pre-op? Bring it on!
 
Projected surgery date is mid-May/early-June. I've got to kick some butt fast afterwards because I have my best friends wedding in September and plan on looking astonishing.

Hi Gang. Well I had my first follow up appointment and fill. Received 1cc. To date I have lost a total of 31.9 pounds. Wahoo! I have been diligent in following everything to a "T". Still on pureed foods which has not been bad at all. In fact, I have been able to tolerate more fruits and veggies than ever before. Excercising 5 days a week even if it is just a 45 minute walk outside. The weather has been gorgeous. I am finding that my clothes are quickly becoming too big and I will need to do some shopping before returning to work. My familiy and friends are super supportive and I am so blessed. Life is good.

Many people think that lap-band or gastric bypass are an easy way out of a life of over eating. I was one of those people. I have struggled with my weight since I can remember being told I was fat (around 6 or 7). I have been on hundreds of diets, lost hundreds of pounds and gained every single one back again. I personally know a few people that have had the lap-band procedure done. They lost a large amount of weight in the beginning but they didn't change the food they were eating and ultimately gained the weight back. My surgeon told me that the lap-band is merely a tool to be used in conjunction with diet and exercise. Not a miracle. Science has yet to create a miracle weight loss pill or device although; if you watch the infomercials they have. When someone is at an unhealthy weight (one that could kill you) sometimes a helping hand is exactly what the doctor ordered. Many things factor into why a person would become obese. It's not like we wake up one day and say " I think I'm going to be so fat that I can barely move, or breathe". Our skinny counterparts are very fond of saying "you just need more will power". Well, I am here to tell you will power has very little to do with it. In my case, and many people I know food is an addiction. Mine started when I was very young. Food made it all better when I was being abused. Food never hurt me or talked bad to me. It always made me feel happy. Unfortunately; food also got me to where I am at know. My doctor said I use food as a stress reliever. No DUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things are good!
 
Although, every so often I get the idea I'm trying to lose weight for the wrong reason ( not health related, more for visual effect). But I like that I'm doing well for myself, I mean c'mon, how can I complain that I'm losing weight?
 
So I'm at work today, and the day receptionist says to me "Tiana you look thinner, that diet is working!" Thanks barb!
Then my dad comes do make sure I got to work alright, and he goes, what are you doing, losing weight in your face? Thanks dad!
 
I never see it on me when I lose weight, I only go by the numbers I see on the scale. Blah and those dont move very much. But I'm down to 318 so I must be doing something right. Hoping the scale gives me good news again on friday!
 
My boyfriend broke up with me, for reason I cant verify...whatever, but I'm using that as more motivation to lose weight and look good, he can see what he's missing out on . Anyway, I'm on a roll. I met these things called sweat, and resistance, we're pretty good friends. They know whats good for me!
 
Less than 70 days til the next surgery attempt, I have a feeling they'll deny AGAIN but I'll keep trucking on, I'm doing alright thus far.

This morning I got up and I stood in front of the scale, as I always do....looking down as I stepped onto it, (I believe I stop breathing each time as I wait for the numbers to appear) it said 219!!! I have waited to hit the point where I was in the "teens"!!! I thought there would be a happy dance, but instead I was in awe! I don't think I have come to yet! This is a big step in my journey for my mental part of this. I realize I can do this! What a great feeling!
One number less and in overdrive with confidence! Hip Hip Hooray!

Wow! Woke up this morning with so much energy. Had my post op appt yesterday and to date have lost 18 pounds. I feel fabulous!
My first fill (under fluoro) is scheduled for the 22nd and am kind of looking forward to it. I've had absolutely no issues and am so pleased with my decision to do this. My clothes are fitting better and I actually see a little difference. I'm just so excited!
My Dr. said I should lose another 20 pounds by the end of summer which is pretty slow, but I'm okay with that. In my head, as he said that, I'm thinking....omg when I lose 20 more pounds I will weight what I did in college....holy cow!!!!!!!

Another day in which I am just thankful to be alive. Even with the thought of knowing I was approved and haven't heard from my surgeon had me depressed; however my husband said it best by saying you are waiting now but the end result is sweet. It will be a sweet day when i can start the life i always wanted. i will not allow this weight or waiting on surgery to change my life. On today, I will start eating healthy in preparation for the lifetime committment that will be before me.
 
Right now I am thinking about a bucket list once i get healthy and skinny. Any suggestions?

Today is my one month anniversary! Wow time has flown by and I can't believe it has been 30 days. I am feeling great and my clothes are getting too big! Now that is exciting news (jumping up and down)! LOL
 
Looking forward to the next 30 days! One step at a time...

A little over 24 hours since Fill #1, so anything I say here is speculative at best and ridiculous at worst. Good thing ridiculous has never stopped me.
 
My surgeon instructed me to stick to liquids for my first meal after the fill, but said that I could progress to mushies after that and back up to soft solids and then solids as soon as it felt comfortable. I'm assuming I still have some swelling, but no discomfort at all. Having liquids yesterday was touch and go. I felt full quickly at lunch (my liquid 1st meal), but it didn't last more than a couple of hours. I went to mushies for dinner and had no problem getting anything down, but I did notice that the more substantial meal stuck with me a loooong time. I ate at about 4 PM (because I was starving after my liquid lunch) and was still not hungry when I went to bed at 10 PM (yes, I live like an old woman at 36. Sue me ) That was great!
 
Today, I had a poached egg for breakfast and was good for about 4 hours. My lunch was tuna salad and it really filled me up! I ate about the same amount I was eating before the fill (about 1/2 cup) and I can totally notice the difference in satiety. Before the fill, that amount would end my hunger, but the reason I stopped eating was because the food was gone, not because I felt physically full or satisfied. After the fill, I feel full off the same amount of food. Not stuffed or uncomfortable but full, as if I would choose to turn down more food if it were offered (and free of calories!). It's a delightful feeling, because it tells me my band is really there! And it's working!
 
I wouldn't call what I feel "restriction" per se, because I don't feel anything unusual going down, and nothing is having any trouble sliding through, but like I said, I feel full off smaller amounts of food. Maybe that's what restriction is supposed to be? It could be that I've been misunderstanding the term all along. And it could also be that it's not really my band making me full but that residual swelling from the fill. Doesn't really matter to me at the moment, because either way, it's working. If this feeling fades in a couple of days or a couple of weeks as the swelling goes down, I can go back for a second fill in 3 weeks. Yay!
 
I'm on my way, kids, and nothing can stop me now!

So do any of you miss just being able to go out to a restaurant and pig out? I've had this "sadness" just a few times since my surgery. I do really great during the week because I'm so anal about planning things out and being prepared. However, on the weekends, my husband and I like to go out to different restaurants. As a bandster, I still can eat out, I just choose much healthier options and when my entree arrives, I have the waitress bring out a box with the meal so I can portion out my food I will eat and the rest I save for leftovers.
 
My husband is not the most romantic, but he suprised me with a date Friday and took me to the Hawthorne Inn in this little out of the way town called Labadie. Apparently the whole town of Labadie decided to go too, because we waited for 45 minutes. I chose the salmon with baked potato and it came with a salad. So the salad came and although I enjoyed a few bites, I stopped because I want to save room for the $21.95 salmon. I LOVE salad. I know its not a protein though and I have to get that in. Which brings me to the point of why I got the band to begin with- SO THAT I WOULDN'T EAT LIKE A PIG. But, every once in a while I get mixed emotions about my band. I thank God everyday for my band, because I was really becoming unhealthy. On the other hand, I sometimes have a pitty party for about 2.5 seconds and just wish I could finish my WHOLE salad, my WHOLE potato and MY WHOLE salmon.
 
Funny how my band, Prudence brings me back to sanity though. Once I'm "full" then I think, Maggie you're a weirdo. What a strange thing to miss. You feel great, you are full off of a fraction of what you used to eat and you've lost 32lbs! Like I said, I don't get bummed out a lot, and realize that I had a very unhealthy affair with food. Glad my relationship with food is changing, but it is an ongoing struggle everyday to change.

As I type this there are tears in my eyes. I took it upon myself to call my insurance company and found out I was approved and all I can say is "Thank You Lord". Look at the authorization from my insurance, I can't have the surgery until March 22, 2012 and there is a six month window for the procedure. My nerves are running wild right now because now I am afraid but I know the Lord will give me the strength to do this. What a day to remember!!!

day 7 post-op and i am feeling great! today is the first day that i will be home by myself since having surgery (can you say party!). my plans today include a little wii action, completing some homework, reviewing more band materials, trying to eat six small meals, drinking more fluids, and taking a short walk!
 
 
i took the time yesterday to review some of the materials in my "life after bariatric surgery" notebook that i received from my insurance mandated classes and found that it was really useful. i found a few sample menus, a proposed grocery list, and a breakdown of things that i am able to eat. i found that it was ok for me to have that chicken breast i ate a few days ago as it was pureed and i even made myself some turkey chili yesterday (yum)! i even made myself some decaf pomegranate tea and sipped it most of the day.
 
i found that my protein shakes can be counted in my liquid intake, so i don't feel as bad for not getting down what seems like millions of ounces of water. i still find it difficult to get all the meals in as i am just not hungry, but knowing that i am now able to get my protein from other sources besides shakes has been a great discovery. it seems much more manageable to spread it throughout the day in small meals rather than trying to drink 2-3 shakes. although i do love my shakes and have not grown tired of them yet...i just get full so quickly it takes me hours to get them down...
 
i went for a short walk (don't laugh probably half a mile or less) and was feeling some discomfort afterwards, but took some tylenol and was fine. i was feeling so good yesterday, i decided to do my hair and polish my nails. i am trying to get back to normal as i feel that my life has been consumed with all things band. i am sure that once i return to work my obsession with all things band and weight related will decrease! right! right?
 
i got busted at home yesterday by my mom who called mid-day and heard the kids in the background. it is so hard to keep this from her, but i'm just not ready to tell. i have been able to tell everyone else and feel good about it, but you just don't know my mom...she lives in cali and i'm in ohio so it's easy to conceal it at this point, but she is planning a visit possibly in May and i think i'm going to hold off till then...