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Ginger, In answer to your question, yes, I have felt exactly that way and still often do. I joined an online dating site and lately it seems every man who sounds interesting wants a woman who is "slender, fit, or average." I went to lunch with a bunch of women from work yesterday and out of the twelve of us, 6 were newlyweds, engaged, or had recently fallen in love. I don't know how old you are, but I am 49 and have never been married, if it makes you feel any better. I don't have any real advice for you, other than to perhaps see a therapist if you really feel your depression is not going away. Just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. Take heart and hang in there. Nancy

Texas, Texas, Texas!!! And you can all stay with me here in Houston! Nancy

Congratulations, Bright! It's a step forward, I think. I bought a fancy treadmill two months ago and now I don't know how I lived without it. Can't say it's helped my weight loss all that much, but I feel so much better in both mind and body. And don't let that trainer push you around. To me, exercise works best when you start slow and turn it into a habit before it becomes too onerous. Nancy

Wow, you can really see the difference! Keep up the good work! Nancy

Fantastic progress, Leo! You really look great! Nancy

I was self-pay here in the states, too and asked this same question. I also wanted to know what would happen on down the road should there be an obstruction - would the insurance cover that? Luckily, the doctor that does fills for my surgeon has the band herself and had exactly that happen to her. The answer she gave was that even though her insurance company did not pay for the banding, they did pay for the emergency surgery when her band "slipped" as that was not an elective surgery, but a medical emergency. I wouldn't necessarily take this as gospel, but it makes sense to me. As far as my fee for the surgery, the deal with the hospital was that my $14,000 covered everything and anything that would be needed within the first 48 hours. Which seemed fair to me. I think there is some small financial risk involved with this, just as there is some physical risk. But there isn't much in this world that is risk free. Nancy

I wasn't obese as a child, but have been morbidly obese for most of my adult life - at least 15 or 20 years. Oh, how I wish I had had this option then! Being obese has caused me (and I dare say most of us) all kinds of mental distress in addition to putting my physical health at risk and making a social life much more difficult. Also, if she is morbidly obese or even close to it, she has almost 0 chance of ever losing the weight and keeping it off without surgical intervention. About 1 person in 20 can lose that much weight (and I was one of them). But hardly any are able to keep it off. Good luck to both of you. Nancy

This is a kind of boring subject, I know, but I'm unsure of what to do. I had made an appointment for a fill tomorrow because I hadn't lost anything in three weeks. I can't eat as much as I could pre-band, but usually find that I stop myself from overeating rather than getting any signals from the band. My eating habits still aren't perfect, but they have improved. I'm eating more nutritiously than before and exercising daily walking 1.2 miles on the treadmill (2.4 miles on the weekend). And today that stubborn next pound is gone. I only have 1.1cc in the band. Any thoughts? Nancy

As usual, you make a lot of sense, Donali. And according to those guidelines, I probably need to take in more, not less, calories. Protein is a challenge because I'm a vegetarian. I drink Protein drinks to help boost my protein grams. I know most people don't believe in drinking calories, but it's only 80 calories and it's the only way. I eat cheese, yogurt, nuts, etc. but they don't have nearly the protein quantity of meat. I will do Fitday occasionally on your advice, but in general, I am not into counting calories at all. If I wanted to do that, I could have skipped the band thing entirely. I am definitely not losing as fast as some, but I am reasonably satisfied so far. And I guess I'll skip the fill for now. Thank you. Nancy

Jennye, I wanted to add my belated congratulations! You are obviously doing something right! Nancy

The part that does sound a little off to me is that you have to pay for a gym membership and Protein shakes through the hospital. That definitely sounds like a racket. Is the hospital very nearby? In my book a gym has to be very, very nearby in order to be worth anything. If this gym is in the hospital I can guarantee you that it is way more expensive than other gym memberships. And you can buy Vitamins at WalMart which would be much cheaper, too. My Protein powder (Unjury) costs something like $15.00 online and one container makes quite a few shakes I would really question this arrangement. And the other doctors won't take you because you live too far away? I don't get it. People travel hours for fills, etc. It's not uncommon to have to pay for tests, etc. in advance but the rest of it sounds extremely fishy. Nancy

I've lost 37 pounds which is exactly one third of what I have to lose. So that's good. I'm happy, I'm satisfied, etc. BUT. . .I am still wearing the same clothes. I've tried on some of my clothes in the next smaller size, but they are still too tight. It's a small matter, but it's frustrating. A companion issue is that only a few people have noticed - and they only made tentative remarks as though they weren't quite sure. I know from past weight loss experience that when I can move to a smaller size, it will be more noticeable, but when, when, when will that be? Nancy

Thanks ladies! I do think the stretch in the clothes is probably a factor and also maybe the extra "allowance" in the larger sizes. That makes sense. Nancy

Bright, You look so great!!! So sad that you will be going to hell. But at least you'll be laughing on the way down! Nancy

Glad you had a nice time with your sweetie! At my support group meeting yesterday someone mentioned that you were at the last Texas Bandster Bash. Is that true? Any chance you are coming this year? Nancy

I'm not sure when you had surgery, Becky, but if you have lost weight, that can certainly help snoring and sleep apnea. Nancy

What caught my eye in the abstract you posted, Sue, was the part about both groups being satisfied with their achieved weight loss, improved mobility, and improved self-esteem. Those things are all I care about. So what caused the researchers to call one group "good outcome" and one group "poor outcome?" They both had good outcomes in my book. The question I find interesting is what personality qualities would differentiate successful from unsuccessful bandsters when the measure of success is percentage of excess body weight lost. That would be a fascinating study. For example, I wonder whether a flexible person or a rigid person would do better? A flexible person might be able to adapt more quickly to eating in a different way. On the other hand, a rigid person might be more likely to stick to the bandster rules without deviation. Nancy

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and impressions. They were helpful to me. I, too, am finding that my band journey is largely a journey of self discovery. nancy

Congratulations, Quaker Girl! You've done a great job. These milestones are so important. Nancy

Hi, Erika! I've registered. I have not been to any support group meetings lately. Is the bay area group still meeting? Nancy

Wow, Alexis, you really do look great!!! Nancy

Sparkle, I didn't have any restriction until my third fill. In addition, as some here know, I am struggling and have found a lot of ways to sabotage my progress - mostly by eating sweets and eating around the band. Consequently, I have "only" lost 30 pounds in four months - much less than most. But much more than I had lost in the past five years of a diet and binge cycle. When I look at it that way, I don't feel so discouraged. It's hard to realize that FINALLY this really is for life. But when you do, the "10 punds by Christmas" syndrome loses some of it's pull. I think if we get the proper restriction (no matter how many fills it takes) and do the best we can each day, trusting that we will get better at this the more practice we get. . .we will get there. Nancy

As you can see from my signature, I haven't lost all that much weight, but I am beginning to feel completely different. I am so much more assertive now. I am beginning to speak my mind. Like yesterday when someone thanked me for participating in a program and I said, "You're very welcome, but I don't want to do it anymore. The people here don't treat me well and I don't need that." And she not only understood, she said she felt that way herself and started talking about ways to change it. I guess I've been participating in that program for two years and never complained once because after all, someone wanted me to do it so I have to do it, right? Or like there's a doctor at work who is just hateful and mean to everyone. She always hurt my feelings. But I kept being nice to her and saying "hi" to her (she never answers), hoping that one day I'd win her over. I should have known better all along, but suddenly one day I realized, "It's her problem, her loss." I no longer care what she thinks of me. Why would I? I had become so very private. I didn't share a lot of what was going on with me or how I was feeling with even my closest friends and family members for fear of eliciting disapproval of some thought or idea or feeling. And I needed their approval because I didn't have my own. So it was always a cheery, "I'm fine, how are you?" And then I would feel alienated and disconnected from them. I'm realizing that I've been so silent for so long. That was not me before I gained weight. But I see now that obesity kind of made me feel like I really had to earn my right to exist through good works and pleasing others. What a shame, what a waste. I have a lot of healing left to do. I'm just amazed at how the mere knowledge that I am taking care of myself and getting healthier has made me realize that I'm worth it. I know this reflection has been long and very personal, but I decided to share it with you because I felt you would understand. Nancy

Bright, you look fabulous! It is a tremendous difference in your face. You go, girl!! Nancy

Jennye, that's great news! I, too, have just started with eHarmony. Let us know how it goes! Nancy