claraluz

That's great! Congratulations! Nancy

It's OK to come here with your fears and concerns. You don't need to worry about sounding hysterical. I'm just glad that you are feeling better. Nancy

Congratulations! It sounds like you are well on your way to a new you. In answer to your questions about the problems the doctor encountered, I've never heard of this happening before, but that doesn't mean it hasn't happened. Are you following your doctor's instructions regarding diet? I think most doctors suggest being on liquids for two weeks after surgery before starting on mush, but you should follow your own doctor's orders. The main thing is that the hard part is over. Keep your eye on the prize. Nancy

I know you must be excited! I hope you are impressed when you meet him and then you'll be on your way!

Prior to getting banded I had heard that relationships could change due to weight loss. It only makes sense. But I really didn't think it would happen to me because I figured the relationships most at risk would be those with spouses or romantic interests. Since I'm not in a relationship, I figured I didn't need to be concerned. I have (had?) a friend of 14 years. Through the past few years we've grown apart a little because she is a stay-at-home mom and I am a carreer woman. And also because she seemed only to want to see me for dinner at her house with the family and after a year or two of that, I felt my primary relationship with her was suffering from the lack of an opportunity to share girl talk. But I still considered her to be a very good friend. Well, for the last year she pretty much has stopped returning my phone calls and hasn't called me at all. My feelings were very hurt and in fact, I spent some tearful evenings wondering whether I had offended her or whether she just didn't like me anymore or what. She finally called me last week and we had a heart-to-heart. It turns out she had been feeling depressed and bad about herself. She had been feeling worthless because she stayed at home and "never had anything new to say." But another reason she gave for dropping our relationship is that I had had surgery and she knew I would be getting "skinny" and she was too threatened by that. We are trying to put the pieces of our relationship together again. Obviously my having the surgery was not the only factor here, but it is so amazing to me that it would have been so threatening to her that it was, indeed, a factor. I just wanted to share that. Nancy

Thanks, everyone. Marie, yes the problem in large part was her depression and low self-esteem. She felt like she should be able to be satisfied being at home, but she just wasn't. She only has one child who is in school all day long so there were a lot of empty hours. She is now working 30 hours a week, which is why I think she is feeling better and felt strong enough to call me again. I just wish she could have told me how she felt sooner so that I could have provided encouragement. I understand all that, but what blew me away was that my losing weight actually contributed to our temporary estrangement. It is just so sad that women are conditioned to compare ourselves to each other in terms of how much we weigh. Nancy

You are so talented! Good luck with the busy month ahead and please check in when you can. Nancy

Congratulations and happy birthday! Nancy

Wow, that's a big jump! Congratulations!

Janie - Actually, no I don't walk outside usually. I bought a treadmill not too long ago. But when I used to work the evening shift I walked outside at noon - even in summer. Probably not too bright, but I never got heat stroke or anything. I've also been riding my bike lately. It's much cooler and it's fun. I know it is very hard to motivate yourself to walk when you feel depressed, but exercise is very good for depression. I struggle with depression from time to time and it takes a great effort to get started, but it always lifts my mood at least a little. Nancy

You remain in my thoughts. Good luck! Nancy

I agree with Janie. You are losing at a rate of about 1.6 pounds per week. That's great! Nancy

I just want to add that I started experiencing the mental benefits of exercise such as stress relief, mood elevation, and increased energy long before I noticed any physical benefits. But that helped to keep me motivated. Nancy

Well, the way I did it was I just started with a ridiculously short distance - like down the block. I could do it in 15 minutes. I made a commitment to do it every day. I did that until it no longer seemed like exercise at all and then I added a very small amount to it. I repeated this process until eventually I was walking three miles a day and loving it. Every now and then I lapse and have to repeat the process to get going again except now that I'm more used to exercise, I start with a mile. Believe me if you start very, very slowly, but commit to doing it every day you will soon experience the benefits. You can even start with a five minute commitment if you need to. If you make the beginning amount easy enough for yourself, it will be easier to go ahead and do it rather than argue with yourself about it. And you'll soon develop the habit of exercise. Nancy

I applaud your doing the research. I read this board and others for at least a year before actually deciding to get the band. As far as talking to doctors, though, you should know that unless they are lapband surgeons, they may not understand the band very well. It has only been approved in the U.S. for a few years and the first study that was done on lapband in the U.S. was not very impressive. Many of us believe that was because the bands were being placed by inexperienced surgeons and because they expected the same rate of weight loss for the band as for bypass. Many physicians formed their opinion about lapband from that original study and have never bothered to look at newer research. But again, read everything you can about all the surgeries before you decide. Nancy

To me it seems there is a line to be drawn between providing good aftercare and turning into the food police. It sounds like your surgeon has crossed the line. Also, here in the states it is considered unethical for a doctor to drop a patient without first assuring that the patient has access to continued healthcare. It is considered a rather serious offense. I don't know how it is in England. I know I would feel angry if this happened to me. I hope it works out. Nancy

Do you mind repetitive compliments? You look great! All your features are so much more distinct now. Good work, Bright!!! Nancy

Heather, I understand your fear. This is a big decision and one that should not be undertaken lightly. Everybody has different experiences with the band post-surgery and we all have different experiences with weight loss. I can only share my own experience: The first time I stood up after surgery, I felt a sharp pain. It lasted no more than 3 seconds. I never had any other pain or discomfort. This is extremely unlikely, I think. I could take care of myself on the day of surgery. I live alone, so that was important. Even our friends here who have had complications were not so ill that they couldn't take care of themselves, I don't think. How much weight will you lose? That depends very much on whether you diet and exercise after you get the band or whether you let the band do all the work. I weighed four pounds more than you do when I had the band put in almost exactly a year ago. Today I weigh 195. That means I have lost about 48% of my excess weight in one year. I do exercise, but I have never dieted in any way, shape, or form. You might want to check out the thread August Bandsters to see the variety of weight loss responses and experiences of those of us who have been banded one year. The only other thing I will say is that I wish I could have had this procedure when I was much younger - before obesity took a toll on my mental and physical health and while my skin was still elastic enough to handle a large weight loss without sagging. Whatever you decide, good luck. Nancy

Gail, I'm so glad you found a solution and I'm proud of you for throwing that diet scale away! Nancy

I don't know if it will be on nationally or just here in Houston, but the PBS channel here in Houston will be airing a half-hour program on WLS tonight at 9:00 Central Daylight Time. It will probably be just like all the others - focusing on bypass and on the negative. But I'm still going to watch it. Nancy

It was just a fairly straightforward description of the various surgeries and their pros and cons. Dr. Spivak talked about the Lap-Band. Nancy

Dr. Long spoke at the Bandster bash. I'm sure he is a very fine surgeon, but he was quite flippant and arrogant. It turned me off. But there was a woman there who had pretty much had a whole body lift and she looked great! When I'm ready, I'll consult her surgeon even if it's just a starting place. Nancy

Is it just me or have you noticed yourself looking older now that you've lost weight? I'm 50, but I can honestly say that I looked about 30 or 35 pre-surgery. That's not to say I looked good - just young, with smooth skin. All the wrinkles were plumped out with fat, I guess. Now I look better - I guess - but a great deal older. Wrinkles all over my face. Sagging. Crows feet. I saw a new photo of myself and I was shocked, shocked, I say!! It's so disappointing. I wanted to lose weight for my health, that's the main thing. But of course I also wanted to look better, too. I'm not sure if I do. I would love to get a face lift, but I tend to keloid and it doesn't seem like it would be a good idea. But I think I will make an appointment with a plastic surgeon, just to see if anything non-surgical can be done. Nancy

A keloid is an overgrown scar. They are usually dark in color (dark pink or red) and raised and shiny. Nancy

I actually am ashamed of my vanity and if you had asked me if I would ever care about sagging and wrinkles, I would have laughed at the absurdity of it. But here I am. It freaks me out to look in the mirror and see my mother. Nancy