HumbleBeginnings

My surgeon is a 3 hour flight and 2 hour drive away. I get the fills done locally though. Or I will, rather.

If I'm craving, I allow myself to have some. I am eating very few calories as it is, under 1000... So I figure if once in awhile I have a bite of chocolate because I want some, its ok. So far it hasn't triggered anything. I am so happy to finally be able to enjoy things in moderation. I never used to be able to do that. I'd be like a heroin addict, just a whiff of the good stuff and 10 days later I wake up in the trunk of a car in Bogota with no idea what happened (ok not really). I am soooo so so happy to be able to allow myself a little of this and that and be satisfied. That was what I always wanted, to be able to portion control. Not to go on an eternal diet.

Well thank God, I was starting to think I was alone feeling this way! lol I do try to stay positive and think the right things, but I am aware of these thoughts lurking in the background as well. Can't help it. Thanks for the positive words!

Did anyone else, at the start of their journey, look at the pictures of people who had successfully worked with the band and lost their excess weight and think "Wow, that's really great for them... but that won't happen for me"? I am find the idea of me actually losing the weight so far fetched and absurd that I can't even see it as a possibility. I never see myself in the "after" pictures of others... and in a way they already make me feel kind of sad because I don't think that will ever be me.

My SO is fit and trim. When we got together I was not skinny, but I wasn't fat either. When I started to gain weight a couple of years later it really bothered him, which made me feel bad and I think in some way contributed to my continuing weight gain (smart thinking there, tubby). We're still together but my weight has caused some major issues in our relationship. He just... does not find it attractive. And I don't blame him. But I do sometimes wonder, if I had more confidence... whether I would have stuck it out at all, whether I'd still be in the relationship. I honestly don't know. I think a big part of me felt that the negativity and judgement was well deserved on my part. I am looking forward to the day I weigh less than he does lol

Yeah, I hear you. Sort of! hahaha I was self-pay, so I figure by the time I'm done paying off this operation... I should God willing be a bag of bones and need to start paying for other surgeries right away. I'll be old and grey by the time my skinny ass will be paid for.

I found that a heating pad helped me immensely, both for the gas pains and just the soreness. The nurses swore by peppermint tea, but I never tried it.

Oh man, that poor girl... So sad.

Is it wrong that I am so jealous of all you people that get stuck eating this and that and are therefore forced to watch what you order? I can eat ANYTHING. I hate it. I am a little over five weeks out and there is nothing, but nothing that I can't eat. Now, I don't eat much but I hate the fact that I can have whatever I feel like. I really wanted to just get sick and puke if I so much as tried pizza or hamburger. No such luck.

5 weeks post-op... My doctor didn't say anything about it except to watch the calories and that drinking in moderation was absolutely fine. I waited 5 weeks but that was more just due to circumstance than any restraint on my part

I was actually told that they had found that band patients who do drink alcohol (in moderation) lost more weight than the others. He said that I still needed to be aware of the calories, but a couple of glasses a wine a night for instance would do no harm.

Oh man... my list would be too long to imagine, but here are a few things (some of these are mentioned by others earlier in the thread, but what the hell...) 1. Bikini! I so want to wear a bikini... and look good in one. I technically COULD wear one now, but I would look like Jabba the Hut on vacation. 2. Short shorts. I am so envious of girls in the summer wearing flip flops and short shorts... 3. Knee high boots. I have thunder calves and no boots will fit me. And I LOVE boots. 4. I want to be IN the picture, not always trying to be the photographer... or if I must be in the picture, hiding in the back. 5. I want to stop demanding to see every picture right after it was taken, going EWW and forcing people to delete the picture. I even get irritated when people shorter than me try to take my picture, because I know that through sheer laws of physics... the picture will not be taken from the convenient fat girl angle (you know you know the one) 6. I want to be able to travel and feel comfortable and look good... and take vacation pictures that I am in. I would have a hard time proving I have been anywhere as it stands now, since I am never ever in any of the pictures. 7. Enjoy hiking... no huffing and puffing and profuse sweating and praying for death on the way... 8. Be able to shop anywhere and find clothes that fit. I hate being ousted to plus size sections of one or two stores in an entire mall... 9. Get attention! I hate feeling like I am invisible. I swear that it's not just men too, women are more attentive to thinner women as well (like in stores, etc) 10. Not feel irritated and angry whenever I try to dress up. Every party or special even starts off like that, with me mad at the world... 11. Not have to get up early the day after a big night out to nervously sit by Facebook to untag myself in all the pictures! 12. I want to wear something form fitting. No more empire waists, please! 13. I want to be able to run without more things jiggling than should be jiggling 14. I want to wear sky high hooker heels without having to have my feet amputated 30 minutes later 15. I want to feel less self conscious about myself... 16. I want to find jeans that fit me! If they fit my butt, I can't button them. If I can button them, I could fit an entire Bosnian family into the rest of them with me. Ugh. Stupid mafioso gut. 17. I want to feel sexy and attractive 18. I have never required a seatbelt extention but I am really self conscious about sitting on planes and busses because I take up so much space, I feel like I bleed into the seat next to me and I always feel bad for the stranger sitting there when I walk up to take the seat next to them. 19. I want to be able to paint my toenails without effort. 20. I want to not snore anymore! lol Alright... enough for now...

The nurses at my hospital recommended peppermint tea for the gas pains. And I love Crystal Light.

This is pretty common, I think. I started having this right after surgery and when I googled it I got a lot of hits. It's called ketosis, often associated with low carb diets. They said drinking a lot of Water would help it. It hasn't helped me, but I'm probably not drinking enough.

The worst part of that for me was that while I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow the space of time in which that happened, and never ever speak of it... the other person kept bringing it up again, saying how bad they felt and apologizing over and over. Arrrrgggh! Lets both pretend it never happened, oh my gosh.