DynamoMini

Hi Everyone, Had Mt. Vesuvius in my son's bathroom, that flooded the dining room, and all the way to the basement. Thank God I was home to scream and turn off the Water main. So after the plumber for 560 dollars and the clean up crew, Oh we have raw sewage in the basement. Lovely! All fixable. Thanks God for homeowner's insurance. They will pay everything over $500, also it was really good that I was home. Otherwise the damage would have been much greater. Hope all of you are looking forward to the weekend. We are celebrating my son's birthday on Saturday with a movie and sushi. Smiles, Michelle

Marcy - thanks for the chicken massacre pics. you look fabulous. It is amazing how a few pounds can make those clothes baggy. Good going!!!! You look worlds thinner than when you were here. Hugs and good eatin'. Mal - thanks for all the marketing ideas. I think we are going to do a fall craft show and then a spring one and one in summer. They aren't my faves, because of the amount of work, but it gives us a deadline to produce lots of pieces. How are you doing? You are so encouraging to others, and you don't reveal yourself much. Hugs to you! Lap - how was your day. I expect you feel like you are on a roller coaster, and maybe in the front car. OMG, lots of changes for you. Extra hugs, be very good to yourself, keep the ones who are supportive close to you. Best wishes. You are being very brave! My day was fantastic. I can't figure out what makes one day crappy and the next so great. I worked out, I did work for my religious school class, and I am going out on a date (should I mention?) tonight. Oh, maybe that is what is happening for me. You think? I raced through Kohl's looking for a new top, just to feel pretty in. He's a nice guy. I met him Monday for coffee, we're going to dinner tonight. I hope I don't PB. Well, I'll eat really slowly. We'll just see how things go, but it is nice to feel like a woman now and then. Smiles, Michelle

chickatee - you are almost there. Just keep doing what has worked for you and you'll be there. You deserve a healthy life! Everyone - I am continuting my Onederland experience and want to break through the 190 barrier. I don't know why I have set these silly weight goals up as barriers, but I want to leap over them. I have been sitting on 192 - 193 for several weeks. I am ready to plunge down the scale now. I have a feeling that when I get snared, it is both psychological and physiological. Must have been a past set point. Hey, I'll figure this out. I can smell the 180's/ Can't wait! Michelle

Lap - I second the caller id idea. It really helps if you are "prepared" before allowing a conversation with the abusers. Great, practical idea, Mare! Oh sweetie, you are now on the road to recovery. I found getting the toxicity out of my daily life imperative for me to dig deeper into my own sheeeeet. It is the only way through the addiction. Cheers! Also, Lap, if they are grossly misbehaving like you described, imagine they are really threatened by your recovery. Where does that leave them? Remember the best revenge is a healthy body, mind, spirit. Bravo! Lap - also be very gentle with yourself. We, victims of abuse, tend to take over where the abuser stops with our own self loathing. Honey - you deserve a healthy life. Feel it deep within your gut. Hold it close. Drews - Woooooo Whoooooo! You go girl! You have found an alternative passion other than eating! Roll on! Everyone - Just put some crazy ladies into a cute little coffee house (literally) on 17th and Emerson. We left a "Mabel" (5 foot wood sculpture), two portraits, and three smaller paintings. I am hoping to see a sale or two. The coffee shop is called Illegal Grounds. It is new and funky, rather whole wheat for a coffee shop, but willing to show my stuff, so I LOVE it. Best to all, Michelle

marywalker and all other newbies - Welcome! The band is a tool, I have found that means I still have to confront my demons, habits, and thought patterns. It isn't a straight line for me from banding to goal, but I am working my way through each roadblock. It is great to get psychological support as well. We know, it just isn't about the weight. hugs and best wishes, Michelle

litteroo1 - I thought the article made sense too. So now I have to listen to my adult more. I couldn't figure out the struggle. My therapiist said it helps sometimes to put a construct to self-destructive behaviors that I am trying to change. Mal - the rash is running its course. Thanks for asking, it's been a very scratchy August for me. I am doing better, but sitting at the same weight. I am recording everything, but I added some carbs, so I will cut those out. I so want to let this weight go. My work outs are going well. I feel good and strong. Smile. A great feeling at my age, one that I took for granted when I was younger. Hugs all, Michelle

green - you go girl! I'm with you. I have to zap the eating demons first and toss off the extra pounds. I hear you about the rosecea. I wonder if all overweight people have that? or it is genetic? Anyway I have had the capillaries zapped and it works but I have to redo frequently, and it is expensive. Man, I stay out of the sun as much as possible and always wear a SPF makeup now. green - I think you have a very good surgeon who isn't sugar coating it. It sounds like he knows his stuff and you will have great results. I wouldn't worry about the healing time, as I for one, know I have wasted a lot of my time anyway. So, enjoy the autumn colors. By winter you'll be a knock out inside and out. Hugs all, Michelle

Lap - you are a powerful person. You touch me. NM - I loved your paintings. I paint too. I wonder about a bandster art league. So many of us are tortured by the past and present family disfunction. I read an interesting article that touched on my struggles of late and will pass it on here. Nothing profound, but perhaps a tool. http://www.calorieking.com/library/articles/Is-Your-Inner-Child-Making-You-Fat_cGlkPTEzLDY2JmFpZD04ODQ.html It is about taming your inner child and making decisions to grow up and be an adult. I thought parts of it were revealing. Hope you find it interesting. Hugs all, Michelle

Lap - I had similar issues with my mother. Who felt she owned me and ran my life, was completely intrusive, told me what to do, etc. For most of my life I have smiled through this trying to be the good daughter. I moved out to Denver. She moved. I have had to totally reframe our relationship. I have to be very careful with my own boundaries. I found I was setting myself up. It wouldn't be considered this if we had a normal relationship, but I did this over and over. So through therapy i am changing our relationship. It hasn't been easy. When I was banded I didn't have her come be at the hospital, she was livid. I told her I would have to move away if she continued to not respect my boundaries. She still asks questions, like when are you getting that stuff put in? and I have to remind her to butt out. It has been a several year process. I wish you lots of love and luck. Your weight issues are a focal point of her life and she feels like she owns them and you. I felt bereft when the family, under my orders, are no longer allowed to ask or talk about my weight, progress or no progress. I was so surprised about the feeling of loss not being discussed like that, but then their comments went to other things I was doing like painting in a positive way. I realize they don't even know me. But this way I can figure out what parts are mine and work with them. I wish you lots of love and luck in sorting this out. Your mother had no right to snoop, less right to pass on your feelings, but look gently at yourself too. How could you have prevented this and protected yourself? We only can control and/or fix ourselves and even that is a full time job. Big, big hugs. Don't let them abuse you. NM Sunshine - PB is productive burp. For me it is like when food goes down the wrong pipe and comes up again. It isn't wretching like when you are sick. The food isn't in stomach acid or anything. In the beginning I stopped eating right away. Which is the right reaction to PB'ing, now I continue to eat, modifying my bites, etc. to get that food inside. I am really angry at myself, but this is part of the disease for me. A part I will have to let go to heal. Hugs all of you out there - Michelle

I don't know anyone who works harder at their looks than us here at bandland. So, why shouldn't people go for a face lift if it makes them feel good. I for one, will do whatever it takes, once the weight is gone to help myself feel great. Don't worry about the skin. Because of my weight, my face and neck look younger skin wise but not energy wise. Really look at women your age and see the lines and wrinkles. We have covered up all sorts of crevases with fatty tissue, so it will go away and we can get it surgically fixed, just like our sisters. I have heard good things about that thermage, but hear you have to go back every couple of years. A face lift is supposed to be good for ten years or so. By then maybe I won't care as much. Hugs to all of you, Michelle

Shesha - it's good to have a doc close to your home. Hope it all goes well. Lap - I forgot how inspirational and on target OA literature is. Man, it is the giving up the struggle to the higher power that has me stumped. I haven't been able to do it. I just wrestle, but it is more conscience now. Woofay - WooooWhoo! Seeing old friends is where its at. Have a fabulous time with your concert. There is something about continuity that is amazing. Josh will be up to your standards I am sure. I love your joy of life. Mal - college? Which son? It is hard to let them go isn't it? My current battle is with the information I am getting from the band. I overeat, I PB, then I push down more food. What is wrong with me? Why don't I listen to the signals? I am colliding with the stuffing behavior that got me here in the first place. At least I am aware of everything, not waking up in several months or years and realizing that I have gained a ton of weight. I am more aware of what I am doing and evaluating the thought and behavior patterns. That's good right? Hugs all, Michelle

Hi Everyone, Schemgie - Wow! Congrats on your weight loss. What are you eating? BJean - how are you doing? I'm with you. I didn't like Curves, but it might be a good place for some to start. Small group, social, quickly changing activities, all women... Personally I like the gym. I can go to class or do my activities on my own. My trainer has recently moved, so I want to continue with her, but feel a dilemma. Can I afford to belong to two places? I don't know. She will have to lower her fees, because I would miss the gym a lot. Unless I can get a few people to join the other smaller gym where she works, I think I'll stay where I am and pay through the teeth... is that the expression? nicknaknut - hi, you have to come to our Red Robin group on the 11th. We are all Dr. K's patients and support each other once a month. I hope you'll consider it. Currently I am fighting with my band. It tells me I have eaten to much, I PB, then try and eat some more. Is this abusive? I don't know why I think I have to fight the information it is giving me. What's the deal?

Hi Colorado - I am so glad you are doing well Connie. Wow! I have stalled again at 192, it seems that every ten pounds or so I go into a plateau, then drop easily 4 pounds, then holds again. I haven't been perfect in the eating department. The PBing has made me angry and I push food down sometimes in spite of the feedback my tummy is giving me, the result of the disease. Sometimes I feel as if I have lost my best friend. Does anyone else feel this way? I am working hard in therapy to understand and accept this part of the journey. I am tired of being so alone emotionally. And now I am four months out I can see challenges ahead if I don't resolve these feelings. Michelle in Denver

Hi Everyone - Mal - thanks for your support. It means so much when we are working on our weight to have positive energy out there. How are things for you? Is your fill helping you? I had a good day, I didn't PB once. Hugs all, M

Lap - I am so happy you're gonna be here. Yeah! We'll definitely get together. Mal and Woofay - I am glad to hear you are slogging through the back to school stuff. Have you ever filled out so many forms? I had some good news yesterday. The weight hasn't dropped for three weeks, but when I measured with my trainer my waistline had diminished a total of 7 inches (3 since last month). That alone, makes me a lot less cranky. Maybe it is like Lap said, my bulk is turning to muscle and it weighs more. I know when I turn on my side my stomach seems like a completely separate part of me, really loosened up. My trainer says this is the precursor to releasing the weight. Flabby fat is much easier to lose than the bulky hard stuff. So yeah I guess. Well I will sign off before I lose everything like I did ten minutes ago. Hugs - the remodel is almost complete, I think about you guys every day, best wishes on your journeys. Michelle

Again, Hi - Mal - isn't the tuff love a pain in the a--? You know after cleaning the kitchen for a half hour this morning I have had it too. Max is working full time, but by living with me he pays "rent" only when he has a few dimes to rub together. I don't think I am doing him a good thing by continuing to allow this, however, he is younger than his years emotionally, so it is such a dilemma. The car thing was hard too. I thought by giving him a car he would grow into the responsibility, yes, it has worked pretty well five cars later. He paid for all of them. As well as having very high priced insurance. But, he is so sweet, just very messy. He is turning 20 in Sept. One more year for him with me. He is playing with the idea of the Navy. I think it would help him learn internal responsibility, but am afraid it might put him over the top, as he can't just "quit". I hate being single during these moments, because a male influence would be a good thing. Drews - we changed it for you. Don't sleep through it, people are anxious to meet you. You are an example of how this band can work! Woofay - hope all is well with you and your kiddos. How do the paintings look in your coffee nook? Lap Dancer - any way you could be here for the Sept 12th meeting? If not, perhaps when you get here we can arrange a special meeting with you as our honored guest. Anyone else out there willing to leave your homes and meet us at Red Robin on September 11th at 7 pm? It is a fun supportive time together. My weight is stuck, I am losing in ounces not pounds. So I'm still headed the right way but probably am consuming too many calories. Oh well, Michelle

Hi Everyone - Well, September 11th it is - be there or be square! Huh?

Mal - glad you are up and at 'em Everyone - I'm having a good day. Worked out with my trainer and had therapy all good stuff. But I have the weirdest thing. I have a rash, that started on my thigh, goes to the other thigh, then wherever my body rubs against fabric, the bra line and upper thighs, specifically. I had this rash last year on Slim 4 Life and I thought I was allergic to the herbs they had me taking. I am not taking or ingesting anything out of the ordinary. Last year I went to my PCP, he sent me to the dermatologist, who couldn't figure it out. She tried all sorts of meds and creams, eventually it cleared up; like it had run it's course. It was almost the same weight loss point when the rash occurred last year. Weird! So of course, it is wonderful stimulation for therapeutic analysis, but I am so uncomfortable in my skin. I have something homeopathic from my acupuncturist, but nothing really seems to clear it up other than time. I am trying so hard not to scratch. Scratching brings the rash out more and the itch then becomes painful. Has anyone else had something like this??????? Otherwise, things are good. Michelle

Hi Everyone! Thanks for the headwork ideas. It is a challenge to change a lifestyle and self image. I am losing about a pound a week. I am working out. I think I focus too much on eating and food, with a liquid diet, I didn't think about it, but then, the addiction isn't with liquids or nutritional needs it is in the HEAD. I am glad I work with a psychologist too. I used to go to OA, but didn't find it helped. Perhaps I wasn't ready to give up the struggle to a higher power. green - sorry about the reflux, but you don't necessarily HAVE to regain the weight, you are smart to be vigilant. Those old habits are always lurking around my next corner. But this thread is testimony to the fact we deserve a healthy life and weight. You go girl! Indiogirl - you are inspirational! amazing. i am getting rid of the clothes that don't fit. I have a friend that lost 100 pounds last year with GPS, she gave me her clothes. Some of which fit now, others for later. I have always made the mistake of having fat clothes there. If I deserve to be healthy and thin, then I deserve to buy a few new things to get me through the losing time and a new wardrobe when I am at goal. I am jealous of the people that lose so quickly, but emotionally, I don't think I would be able to cope. Each pound seems like losing a friend. It is sooooooooooo weird. Hugs to you all, Michelle

Oh Lap dancer - Here are hugs back. I love hearing from you. The leaves are iffy and depend on when the first snow comes. In town, October is usually best, but in the mountains by the end of September, the aspen are usually pretty done. Correct me Colorado girls if I have this wrong. Personally, I will be gone the last half of October (16 - 31), so selfishly, I don't want you to come then. I am going to Mexico, Puerto Moreles specifically, my cousin has a condo right on the beach, it is 20 minutes south of Cancun. I was watching what Hurrican Dean would do, and everything is still fine, my cousin reported, - so it is a go unless, it gets swept away in the next one. So, I think you need to plan the trip to help you, maybe a long weekend would work as well. Just let us know and we'll try and be there for you. Woofay - hugs sweetie, I hope the rain on Saturday didn't get you too wet. Mal - glad you are back in the world of the living. Welcome Wanttobemeagain! Inezdenver - Whoo hoo - don't get down on yourself. This is a process and I'm so glad you are moving forward. I fight my old self and patterns every day. What I realize is that I can't give up. The band helps remind me of what I commited to and what I deserve. Hugs all, Michelle

Hi Everyone, Nickanut - Thanks for the comments. I reestablished my goal. I want to be down 10 pounds before I go to Mexico in mid October, if it isn't blown away by Hurricane Dean. I can do this. You are right. The eating friend is a false one, not commited to my happiness, only to instant gratification. Woofay - the pics are amazing and so are you. Mal - hope you are feeling better. I have a body rash, that I had this time last year. What the f....? Anyway, the docs couldn't help me then, and it just went away. I hope it will do that this time. Drews - you haven't responded to our meeting date Sept 11th or the 4th. I only want to change it if you are for sure gonna show. Marcy - glad your fill went well. Even tho' you are on the top of the world we are here for you. Hugs. Hugs to all, Michelle

I love the feeling of the pounds dropping off, but have confronted a psychological barrier. I have substituted food for a best friend. Yuck, like who needs a best friend that makes my knees hurt? etc. but that is the plain truth about it. I have personified food into a friendship, that through good control, I really miss. Sometimes it is downright painful. Any ideas for me? Has anyone else made their food almost into a person? :help::help::help::help::help::help::help::help::help: Hugs all, Michelle

Woofay - Thanks for coming to Breckenridge and putting up with the rain. You and your honey are darling together. I wish you many long and happy years. We did pretty well with our ladies. My paintings were more popular, you said that is what drew you in. Smiles. In the morning paper up in Summit county there was a picture of a jazz musician playing with "Mabel" (a large 5 foot wood sculpture) in the background. Funny! Well, tomorrow I will weigh in. I haven't been really with it for a week now. My binge set me off, I reined in, then cheated some more. It isn't about hunger, it is about coping with stress (even the good kind) and I definitely miss taking care of myself with food. I need to find other ways to care for myself. It's like I've lost a friend. I didn't think I was THAT attached to the food deal, but I am an addict. Wooo - baby! Hope this rainy, hot Sunday afternoon is treating you right. Hugs, Michelle

Well another day, another dollar - Janet? I am packing up for the weekend art show. I am so excited about doing this. In the process, as is always the case, my partner and I have met a few people who want to show our art. The latest, was a Kinkos. He owns a coffee shop in downtown Denver and loved our whimsical ladies and wants us to show our stuff. Amazing how the law of attraction works when you are happily doing what you are supposed to do. Be well, I did binge last night, as my partner's mom fell and broke her hip, not an auspicious beginning, just worry set me off, but I was ready to do the show alone too, after thinking it through several Cookies, a cup of ice cream, some stale bagel chips, you all get the idea. I did log everything that I ate and it was 1560 calories, give or take a few. So not crazy, but it hasn't taken me a month or two to rein in again. Yeah me! Hugs, Michelle

Lap Dancer - you are doing a good thing going to therapy. Man, I wish the whole process was as easy as it seemed a month ago, but now I am into the nitty-gritty of the lifestyle changes too. Thanks goodness my band is tight and I have to chew and sip not stuff and gulp. I sometimes hate the band, but love it too. I did turn back to eating to comfort me when my art partner's mother fell yesterday. We have our big launch on Saturday, and I was trying to figure out how to do the show alone. Worrry.....worry.....eat. But I logged my munching and 1560 was my calorie count, not bad for a binge, and I was AWARE of every bite. Perhaps, next time, and there will be a next time, I will be able to comfort myself with something else. Best wishes, therapy and OA are necessary. Mal - so sorry you are suffering. I hope you get some drugs if it is bacterial. How is your son doing? Are you taking care of yourself, even with the cold, broncitis, sinusitus.......? Woofay - hope to see you up there on Saturday. You and your hubby will have a great time. Breck is the best in summer. Cooler clean air is amazing. I always wonder at the stars. Where did they all come from? Hugs all and wish me luck on Saturday, Michelle