DynamoMini

I am back and realize that I need this support. I am at the same weight loss that I was 6 months ago. Maybe more fit, and definitely happier (in my heart with my new man). But I realize when I read the postings that I wanted that lapband to make me NORMAL, so my approach to food has been from an obsessive perspective and not a nutritional one. I decided not to really focus on food, portions and eat whatever my body wanted, like a NORMAL person would. Which was ice cream, cake, etc. Which isn't like a NORMAL person would. I chose foods that would go down easily without much of a chew. So the result was probably less food, but more calories. I keep fighting the concept of what I consider "rigid" dieting, yet my alternative is lousy nutrition. Is there anyone else out there with this dilemma? It is really crazy thinking. Or like AA calls it Stinkin' Thinkin'. Hugs to all, Michelle

Hi Everyone! I've been away a long time and outta the loop about the band. I saw Tom today and had an unfill to see if that wouldn't kick start me. He said that I was now technically at the same fill as a year ago. I have just learned to eat around an overly tight band, which is frustrating but predicable. The amazing thing is that I haven't regained what I initially lost. So the band really works, and I've been coasting. I do need to stick with a healthy eating plan to lose more weight, so I am a little frustrated with myself, as I thought I would be "done" with this. Although on the positive, I've kept to a 5 day a week work out program. I look good and have reshaped a lot of me. I still have 50 or so pounds to take off though. I did find that liquid protein drinks help, and the protein bars are too tempting. I do feel ready to go at it again. I guess that is my way of dealing with weight loss - push and hold and the dream of slow and steady doesn't seem to be my reality. Anyone else out there with similar stuff? Michelle

Dear Everyone, No I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I am in love and busy with my new honey. I have continued to work out and had a fill last week. I am struggling with eating right. Veggies and other fiberous stuff seem to PB me. Then of course, potato chips, and other hard crunchies do that too. Today I even ate some soft chicken too fast and quit when I started to feel food backing up. Anyone else out there, lacking discipline and expecting the band to do all the work. Good news is that I haven't gained any weight and look like I've lost some (muscle weight perhaps). My honey and I are traveling to New York City for 8 days next week. We'll have a great time. He is willing to share a portion with me if we eat out, so then I can have a third and he eats 2/3s and it is about right. Happy Father's Day to all of you out there, especially to the single moms and dads. You deserve two holidays. Hugs, Michelle

Hi Everyone, Planning on a trip to Seattle for a couple of days. Introducing Ed to my brother and family. Things here are good, however, less food focused. Still on the exercise thing. I am wanting to do the group diet thing when I come back, to jump start more weight loss. I admire you all. About the toes, I love getting them and my nails done. It is a gift that I love giving myself. I am so proud of you. So many are working your programs and dropping the pounds. i still take a bite too many when I am eating something I like. Then the PB comes and I say STUPID....stupid.....stupid

What a beautiful group at RR and new faces too! What is amazing is that we bandsters have a special glow, that tells us life hasn't defeated us, but we are rising above it all. Just BEAUTIFUL! Dee - I see changes in your face. It is coming my dear. Mal - you look fabulous! Yeah! About me - well love...love....love..... Not paying as much attention to food, but thank God for the band, I can't overeat. He loves me and my body which is a great relief. I am also still working out. That has become the constant best for my diet. So all you people that are gym joining you will love it. I looked and interviewed a number of trainers before I chose mine. They are not all equal. Sarah is a cheerleader, that is what I needed. She is very aware that if I hurt, I won't want to exercise. She sets realistic goals, modifies based on my feedback and gently prods me to be the best I can be. Sarah is very encouraging. My guy is wonderful. He likes to have fun, smiles and is optimistic. Perfect for me. :thumbup: Hugs to all, Michelle

Hi Everyone, Wow, my life has taken a wonderful turn. I have a man in my life, who loves me and my body. I won't be able to get there on Wednesday because it is my monthly book club meeting. So sorry I won't see you all. I bet you are looking really svelt, just in time for the swimming pool. Hugs to all - I love the world these days! Michelle

Thanks all for the "love" support! It is wonderful to know love can happen at any age. I am floating and enjoying every second. Speaking of love, Ed is meeting the family tomorrow. What a brave man. I bet we have some funny stories to tell out there about meeting the family. John - WAY TO GO!!!! I am proud to have met you and shared a RR dinner or two with you. I am really in awe of your resolution. Your pic with Dr K is really cute. Dee - spankx alive girl! I will have to do something about the lose skin, too. Those belly ups really help, but even so, the skin is skin. When I am down to goal, I am having surgery. Dr. K said he'd do it, and I trust him. Mal - make sure you change your gym shoes every three months. Runner's Roost is pricey but they will fit you really well. I don't think your toes should hurt from walking. Take care and take it slow. Cut back by half when you haven't been at the gym and work your way back up. It sucks, but being sore is worse. Brandy - I believe that this "next lifetime" will just be us, no kids, no big big problems, so I want to keep the magic, take care of each other and ourselves, be sweet to each other without expecting payoff. I have had other lifetimes, and learned a lot. This one feels really special. Woofay - How are you doing with your bandiversary? You have done a great job losing and dealing with the food choice changes. You have stayed human throughout. Hats off to you, my dear. Hugs. Taynuh - It is funny you mention macaroons, they aren't a family favorite. I did bake some biscotti, a box carrot cake (my mom's fav for her birthday) and some box brownies. Never fear, there is gefilte fish, matzo ball soup, lamb and brisket, green beans (a concession), matzo kugel, horseradish (made from scratch), charoset (apples, nuts, cinnamon, sugar and wine). So no one will be hungry. God forbid! Happy spring weather, yeah! Michelle

Woofay and Lap - Happy Bandiversary! I had mine on April 16th. It is wonderful that my relationship with food is so changed. The evil binger lurks, but there are many more bingeless days in my life. I feel I am an almost normal eater for the first time in my life. Love is wonderful. Ed is a great guy and we talk and email several times a day and can't wait to get together as often as possible. It sucks that he is 60 miles away, but at the same time, it forces us to continue our commitments to ourselves, gives us time to breath, and time to miss each other terribly - those are a great combo for longlasting love. My eating has been up and down. It is Passover, heavy cooking, baking, and traditional eating patterns. I don't think that matzo tastes half as good as Easter chocolate eggs do, but I plunged into it all the same, coated with butter of course. I think I got my fix and now I don't seem to want any more of it. I am happy to try and attend any RR or where ever event. Hugs and smiles, Michelle

Lap...lap...lap - Come on - we switched the night for you my dear. Mal - I am soooooooo proud of you. Those walks and the belly ups will get you where you want to go. Hugs. Dee - you seem to be doing great! Yeah! Glad your vacation was fun. Woofay - have you dropped the vacation weight? I am subbing all week, and i am doing better being so busy. No time to think about hunger and what I want. Ladies and Gentleman - I am in love. I can't believe it, it is pretty fast, but sooooooo fabulous. I am not like this usually, but my goodness, it has been such a long time since I had a special someone. I believe that I had to love myself before I could attract Ed. Thank you bandsters and thank you band. My weight loss hasn't been in the record books, but I feel like there is hope here. I am eating so much less and used to it in one year, after a lifetime of either extreme food abstinence (liquid diets) to total indulgence binge eating and a roller coaster of expand and contracting body size. At RR, please plan the next event and let us know. I want pictures please. Hugs, Michelle

Dee - thanks for the support, but I will miss RR. A man doesn't replace good friends, it is just hard to be in two places at once. I hope you have a great time getting together. Woofay - 80 pounds in a year. I have lost just half of that. I am so impressed with your focus. Don't sweat the vacation. It is amazing that we don't tolerate overeating for a long time any more. That extra weight will come right off when you get back to your positive eating behaviors. Lap - sorry I won't see you. Perhaps you could call me while you are here????? Rene - welcome to our little group. It is a wonderful place to get support and the be around people who "get" you. Welcome. Brandy - welcome back to RR. I am so glad your ankle? or was it a foot? is healed. How's your little girl? Mal - are you loving the weather. i can just picture you walking Buster in the beautiful sunshine. Hugs and kisses to all, Michelle

Oh Banditos - I have a conflict on the 9th so I won't be a RR. I think this is a first. I am subbing all week and my new friend has invited me to accompany him to his opening for a book he just edited at a gallery. This is good, though missing your wonderful hugs is sad. Boo hoo. My body is changing, my insides and outsides are getting more fit - but the scale hasn't moved much. I look better though. So, oh hell, chuck the scale. Everyone sounds great! mare - I second Shelbie's note, make sure you reward yourself with something wonderful - new outfit, massage, whatever thrills you. You deserve it. hugs all. michelle

Okay - I just read the postings. Hellooooooo to all of you, friends. Now, I will tell all (or at least some) if you get to Red Robin. Things are good, he is sweet and special. I am not binging, which is earth shattering. Is it the 8th or 9th? I don't want to make an official posting and have the date wrong. Mare - thanks for letting us know you are all right, well more than all right - great! Wow! You have done really well. I don't know if I will recognize the people I haven't seen for a while, like Woofay, Mare, Bookender and Mal. Be there! Hugs, Michelle Hugs all, I wouldn't be here without you,

Marcie - looks cold where you live, but it is wonderful that you have adapted and get everyone outside for fun and games. The motivation comes and goes. But it will come back, when I think about this - consider the alternative. So good luck. Mal - three miles a day is major wonderful. You and Buster need to feel great about that. Walking is a good aerobic exercise and fresh air is good for you. So is RR on the 8th or 9th? I think if we get into switching the location we will lose the group, so all new people come. You will find that the Frech fries aren't even tempting, especially when you meet so many other banditos. Dee - thanks for asking about my love life. I will PM you. Hugs all, Michelle

Hi Everyone - Thanks for the words of support. I got a little fill on Thursday. It just helps me to help myself. I have a new romantic interest in my life. So, Woofay, if you see me in the Springs, I am there with a purpose. We'll see where it goes. It feels a little scary, but he is a good guy, from the heart. My exercise program is my constant. Which is really odd for a person who has avoided sustained exercise in the past. Yes, it makes me feel good about myself, and also my body says thank you. It isn't just about the food, I have to remember this is a lifestyle change. Move it, sista! I keep telling myself. I am subbing more, as teachers are so tired they are getting sick. I have to plan food, but I don't obsess when I am working, however, and Lap can agree there are always eats around the school. I haven't totally avoided the chips, etc, but like you said Lap, the dang things just don't taste as good as they used to. Mal - special hugs to you and whatever you are going through. I have a funny - my son Todd went on Spring Break and came back a vegetarian. This kid is my meat and potato guy. Ain't it a kick? Hugs all, Michelle So, when is RR?

Hi Everyone, Tina - You need to update your picture avatar, I bet you look completely different with the weight you've lost. I like the idea of sharing things successful bandster people do when they are obsessing about food. How to get in a positive frame of mind and not self destruct? I go along doing really well, then I am comfronted with a situation, emotion or some other unidentified roadblock and my resolve goes to hell. It takes a lot of work to get back on track. Thanks for your ideas ahead of time. Michelle

GC - congratulations on your self-control. It is an amazing thing to be able to do. I know we all can and I have been there and it feels great. Where I am now, doesn't feel so great. I am wrestling with the stinking thinking and behaviors. I guess I had to retest myself with lousy results. The excellent thing about the band is that it intervenes and doesn't let me ruin all my effort. Lap - there is a "giving it up to God" process that I fight. I am so damn stubborn and think I have a better idea. Well, we all know what that leads to. So compulsive overeating is alive and well within me, but the kicker is that I can't get numb any more. I am too aware of what I am doing. So there isn't really an alternative except to heal. On that note, happy Monday everyone. Michelle

Cara - people have all different reactions to surgery. Most have some nausea from the anesthesia. Some have sharp pain from stomach gasses getting lost in the body cavity. Most feel great after a week, some in much less time, others in more. It is very individual. In comparison to other surgeries I've had, this was a piece of cake. The incisions healed quickly and I was up and at 'em within three days and exercising withint three weeks. You are young and will probably heal even better than I did. Dee - how is it going? You are so amazingly positive and supportive, I love reading what you are saying to others. I hope you are being kind to yourself too. Brandy - no way you could lose so much. I don't care if I PB a lot, at least you got your weight loss moving. Wow! 21 pounds. I am so jealous. Happy Spring! Happy Easter! Happy New Lives! Michelle

Ok - I've always know I am an emotional eater. But I really know it now. I am going to meet this man i've been corresponding with on Sunday, and all I've been doing is stuffing my face. It is ridiculous. It is like all my self control is gone. I am glad I am scheduled for a fill, but I know there is a strong psychological component to my stuff. It is like I sabotage myself. Thank God I am still working out. Welcome all the new members. Lap - I am not the RR greeter, it is a group effort. I hope the weather is perfect so Woofay will come. It sounds like the 9th works better for Dee. Will you be there? Not if you go skiing in the mountains that day. Mal - where are you? Dee - how's it going? Woofay - another pound, you go girl! Hugs, Michelle

Okay Everyone - Lap is coming to town, which night gets us the most people to Red Robin - April 9 (Wed) or April 10 (Thursday)?????? She promises to spend time with us this visit. So let's post and figure this thing out. Dee, Woofay, Mal, Brandy, John, Bookender, put in your two cents!!!! I am with you Lap, my stomach isn't telling when it's full any more. There is really a shift. I have a fill scheduled in a few weeks, and it is what I need. I have never felt full before my band. I was constantly in a state of hungry, would overeat to a point of sick to my stomach. It is wonderful that the band has helped me get in touch with something that most people think is normal. I agree that it might be a gene, I think it is emotional/behavioral too. Just having the feedback gives me some peace of mind, maybe like that stuff they give alcoholics so they will get really sick if they drink. I am waiting for the day, and I feel it is coming where I can say, you know food just isn't THAT important. Anyway, have a great night. Michelle

Cara - Wonderful example of what we can push ourselves to do. I have this image of being back on the mountain skiing and then I remember that I was out of breath then, now, I don't know. It was hard to get up after falling, now, I don't know. But gees, part of getting in shape is to figure that out. Just think of all the calories you burned physically and mentally. I loved your description.

Hi all, Mal - so sorry about the asthma. Do they think that quiting smoking will improve your chances for not going full blown? Ouch! It is crappy that the harder we try the more stuff keeps on happening. Yikes! Dee - the weight thing will fluctuate. I will tell you right now that I can go up and down several pounds within a day. Water retention is killer! Hugs to you and yeah on the exercise. I think that just being consistent will help you feel better. I love your humor. Crazy funny baby names! I think some preemies look kinda like lima beans. : ) But don't tell the parents. GC - I think you will really feel a difference with a fill. Good luck, it is tricky getting the saline just right. Woofay - you look marvelous, what can I say?

Hi all, It is wonderful celebrating those big milestones with all of you. I am finally back on my old BP medication, yeah! My pressure is 123/75 and I am happy. It is an out-of-pocket expense ($100/month), unless I can appeal with Kaiser. I am not sure my doc is willing to take on the system, but at least I have been good to me. I have been losing some weight, slowly, another four pounds in the last month. It is weight that I have lost before, I am entering new ground. I think our fat cells retain memory. We need to release what has held the weight before dropping the weight. At least it seems that way for me. Exercise is now my mental health and well being. Not nutty, but consistent. So I'm off to the elliptical for 40 minutes. I have upped my weight training to three times a week, to maybe burn more calories. My body is really efficient, which was historically great during starvation in Eastern Europe, but sucks the big one now in Denver 2008. Hey pick a day let us know and you show up there Lap, Michelle

Lindsay - I was where you are on the elliptical. Just take it slowly, but doing a minute or two at the lowest reisistance is a first step.. Don't add the angle or reisitance until you have developed some endurance. Just know, that being able to do a minute without exhaustion, is a step toward your former level. I was amazed how out of shape I was when i started working out. It has taken many years of consistent effort to build up endurance. I had weight and inactivity fighting with the want to be doing what I did when I was 20. Happy night all to those who sleep, Michelle

GC - I think relearning how to eat is on of the biggest challenges with the band for me. I have a great deal of difficulty eating while being social. I also go too fast, don't chew enough, and there are specialty foods that get stuck no matter how I eat them. I am still learning and it has been almost a year. Like tonight I was at a friends and we did the salad bar type of thing. I filled up once, thought I had room for me and now I am walking around with a great gastric discomfort. If I had waited between trips to the salad bar, I would have realized enough is enough. But the greed factor took over. The other part of this that gets me is that ice cream, cookies, etc. go down really easily. It is the real food that is harder. And even with the good stuff - enough is enough. Which is the source of the disease we have. Hugs to the rest of you. Staying the course, learning from mistakes, not giving up or in to old patterns, are all a huge part of this for me. Michelle

Hi all - I just took a long walk along the highline canal, it was great to get outside. Thanks for the compliments. Dee, your face is definitely changing, as will your shape. I am so anxious to lose the next 80 pounds now. But it feels great to be healthy again. Maybe better than ever. Anita, Mal, Bookender, Brandy and the rest of you, I hope that you will come to Red Robin next month. It is really exciting to see the changes, as we take at least half of what we order home and feel full on the small portion. What a victory! Michelle