#MagicWithinme

Originally Posted on 05/21/2014 Link to original post: http://www.bigfatloserblog.com/2014/05/the-truly-scary-part-of-bariatric.html
Since I announced the surgery, I have had a lot of people ask me if I'm nervous or excited about the surgery. Obviously, it's a mixture of emotions. While the surgery is a large commitment, I am not really nervous about the procedure itself. Dr. Jones does more of these surgeries than I care to think about, and at this point I'm sure he could perform it with his eyes closed (although, I'm not volunteering for that). The hospital where I am getting the procedure is brand new, and high tech. I don't expect any problems.
However, I am scared of what comes after the surgery. I know what to expect in terms of my body and my health. I know what I need to do to ensure a successful surgery and recovery. What is NOT predictable is how the surgery will change me as a person. What do I mean when I say that? Well, I have known several people that have had bariatric surgery done, and it completely changed them. It transformed them into self entitled monsters. Granted, it doesn't affect everyone this way. I haven't noticed any changes in my family member that has had it done. However, out of the 5 people I know that got it done, only 2 of them have remained similar to their old selves.
Let me tell you story of my (former) best friend. He had a Gastric Bypass done. Before the bypass he was truly my brother. I spent every waking moment of my life with him from age 16 until he moved away to Houston. Amanda and I went and visited him about a year or so after his surgery, and he looked fantastic! My initial thought was how confident he was. I could tell he was happy in his skin. The longer I spent there, the quicker I realized that it wasn't only his confidence. He seemed a little different. He spoke of his friends there in Houston, and they were not the type of people we would normally hang out with. These people weren't good people. They dabbled in things and activities that he would NEVER have participated in before. He explained that he had "come out of his shell". He had the confidence now to meet new people and get out of the house. I dismissed it, because after all, he had always been overweight, and maybe it was time for him to sow his wild oats.
Fast forward to about 5 years in the future. I got a phone call one day from him. He was back in town, and wanted to visit. So, without hesitation I invited him over. We had some drinks, and I offered to let him crash at my place.
To cut a long story short, and because it's a little painful to talk about, it ends like this.
He hacked into my PC, he stole my credit card numbers, and he talked ALL night about people that were out to get him. Like some type of weird paranoid tweaker. He said filthy things about my ex wife, and was incredibly vain. Insisting I feel his arms because he was "ripped", and this went on all night.
I later learned that this surgery can change you. It can transform you into a different person. With confidence comes great risks. Especially if you have lived as a fat guy for most of your life. You get attention that you normally would not get. This can result in pretty nasty personality changes.
I am FAR from perfect. I have some issues with being selfish, and I can be a bit of a cynical a*****e. However, I pride myself on my manners, and try to have respect for others. I like me. I like my personality. Moreso before I started suffering with depression. However, I remember how I use to be, and I want to be that way again. I am terrified to let this surgery change me into someone that my friends don't like to be around.
I tell myself that the fact that I even acknowledge that this could be an issue may be a good sign. Being aware of my actions and behavior is the first step of preventing negative personality changes.
I learned from my psych eval, that as much as I would like to avoid it, Anti-depressants are going to be in my near future. With my past struggle with depression and anxiety, I simply can't afford to take any unnecessary risks.

Last night I got the wild idea that I would look up Lab Band Vlogs on YouTube. Big MISTAKE. HUGE! The first 20 or so results were all negative. The first lady I watched to understand why she hated the Lap Band and seemed to make it her personal mission in life to discourage the world from this evil thing called the lap band. As I listened I heard excuse after excuse as to why her band failed. She said she threw up everyday and that nobody told her about PB's. Then she went on to say later that she never got restriction and could eat a plate full of food. Two things. 1)If you over eat you are going to get sick.2) If you're having PB's you have some sort of restriction. She talked about never having restriction again, then told a story of how she almost died (rolling eyes) because she was over filled and couldn't swallow her own saliva. Ok... so we can all conclude she had restriction. She also confesses she's a binge eater. Another red flag. You have to commit to eating smaller portions and having the will power to stop eating when you're full. In my most humble newbie opinion this lady was either not educated on how the Lap Band works, and if that's the case shame on her surgeon, or she just thought it was going to fix all her eating issues. She also kept using air quotations when she said the Lap Band was a "tool". She said she hated when people said that. MY GOD WOMANIT IS A TOOL. NOT A MIRACLE CURE!
 
I was so sad to see all the comments of gratitude for her being so brave to post such an honest video. Uhm... that was not an honest video that was an angry woman who failed to follow band 101 rules. It actually made me angry. I considered the video an EPIC FAIL. She made broad sweeping generalizations saying that the only people that the band works for were people who replaced one vice for another. She used the example of transference of food binging for exercise. They just swapped one for the other.
 
I have to say that I realize that there are risk of complications with the band and that it doesn't work for everyone. But, from what I've read most of the time if people are truly honest they failed the band the band didn't fail them. AND... If you're band isn't working talk to your doctor be persistent there could be something mechanically wrong with your band... but you have to be diligent in taking care of your band. It's high maintenance, but I have to tell you, knowing that every month I have to go in and see my Dr. and be accountable for my weight loss and how I've been treating my band makes me mind my P's and Q's.
 
I've been stuck at 230 for two weeks...but... I've lost another jeans size so my body is losing inches. I love my band. If I was brave enough I would start my own Vlog on YouTube.
 
Just a side note. I always here the soup Nazi's voice in my head from Seinfeld when I want something I shouldn't have. He says, "No cookies or cupcakes for you!".
 
Happy Hump Day, Ya'll!

This weight loss site/forum is a living and evolving place. You have your lurkers. You have your new people that ask a question and never come back. You have your new people that visit and post often and try to absorb all of the info and support offered. You have your people in between that are in the stages of losing. And then you have your veterans who maybe only need to lose 10-20 pounds or have reached their goal.
 
When I got a lapband, I didn't really do a lot of research on the other surgeries. RNY was totally out for me as it seemed too radical. I didn't consider the sleeve because I didn't like the idea of cutting my stomach. I felt the band was reversible, it was a chance I was willing to take. Now, I DO NOT feel there is anything wrong with having the first two surgeries. They just weren't for me. Looking back, if I knew I would end up being as committed to this journey as I am, I may have considered the sleeve more seriously.
 
If you read up on the lapband, it says that the majority of patients will lose 60% of their excess weight. Meaning, if you're 100 pounds overweight, you could expect to lose 60 pounds. Leaving you 40 pounds overweight.
 
BUT...there are plenty of people who reach or closely reach their goal weights.
 
What is the difference between those who don't lose hardly any weight, those who only lose about 50-60% of excess weight, and those who reach a healthy, suggested weight for their height and build?
 
We all know why some people don't lose weight. Or lose weight and gain it back. They eat around the band. They make very poor food choices. They either were never really committed or lost their commitment somewhere along the way.
 
Those who lose 50-60% of excess weight. What causes them to stop losing at that point and not continue on? I imagine there are many reasons. But I suspect that these may be the people who depended solely on the band to do all of the work for them. Those who did not commit to eating healthier as a habit and did not commit to exercise. They depended on the band to make them eat less, but still eat high calorie foods with low nutritional value. (Now, this is just speculation, but I'm probably close to the mark.)
 
And the veterans? The people who have almost or have already reached their goal? Don't you see the common theme among them here on the forum? THEY USED THE BAND AS A TOOL TO HELP THEM MAKE A CHANGE IN THEIR DIET AND EXERCISE. These people are not the ones on here saying, "I feel like such a failure because I ate a double helping of chicken alfredo with breadsticks followed by a piece of chocolate cake." NO...these are the people on here saying, "I make healthy food choices every day. I watch my portions. I listen to my band. I exercise 4-5 days a week. I may have a piece of chocolate cake, every now and then. But it's more then than now. And I only eat a small piece, and then I'm back on track."
 
Those are the people who inspire me. I have lived most of my 40 years on this earth eating mindlessly. Not caring about what I have been putting into my only vessel on this earth. I have lived an eating life based on convienience and overeating. I do not want to do this to myself any longer! This is MY body! I have to take care of this gift. I need to fill this body with the fuel it needs to exist and be healthy.
 
I'm just trying to point out, to you and myself, that success depends on committing to a new way of living and eating. We cannot continue on the same path we had been on before. We have to take the new path. It is not the easiest path. We will get roughed up along the way. But I believe it leads to a place of beauty. A place where our bodies and our minds can live in harmony. This place is called, "Healthy."
 
I hope we see each other there.

We all say we like choices, but really do we? I mean choices is what got me to 250 lbs. I made bad ones!! Now that I have the band and am working toward losing weight I have choices to make.
 
While the band does keep me from eating crap and it doesn't prevent me for gaining weight- it does prevent me from eat a lot at the time, as long as it is not slider foods.
 
Pre-band I made a lot of bad choices. Basically, I ate, A LOT. I would eat when I was bored, I would eat when sad, mad, glad; I would eat when it was "time". Plus, I choose a lot of bad things. Like a milkshake to follow a big mac and fries- just the thought of that now makes me want to hurl. How the heck did I eat that much at a time.
 
Now I must, in order to loose weight, choose to eat healthy item. I must choose lean proteins, veggies, fruit, healthy carbs if any. These are my choices. Each of us made a choice to have band surgery. After surgery we have a choice, to follow a healthy life style and allow our band to do it's job aiding us in the effort or we can choose to continue down the same path we were on before the band.
 
In the early days the choices can seem harder. Before I had much restriction, I could still, if I choose, eat a lot; but I made a choice to follow the rules set before me by my doctor. The weight fell of which motivated me to continue.
 
As I got more restriction with fills the choice to eat more dwindled. If I ate half of what I did pre-band I would feel like I had eaten a cow. I would be uncomfortable and sick. However, as the months past my weight loss slowed and the motivation to continue to path lessend. I can eat whatever I want just not much of it. However, if I choose to put junk in I will not loose weight. If I choose heavy calorie and carb laden foods my weight with either remain the same or go up. So it is still my choice.
 
Sometimes I wish I had someone beside me every min saying her eat this, you can't have that, walk away, ok that is fine, ect. I just to say well, if I was a celeb and could afford a personal trainer and a personal chef I could loose weight to, but even with those you can choose to make band choices- you could still hit the McD's drive through.
 
Each day, each min, each hour I make a choice to do right by my band or turn my back on it and it's willingness to help me.
 
Making the right choice isn't always easy, but that doesn't mean we should take the easy road. For those who say WLS is easy, no, what would be easy would be to have stayed the way I was and continue to eat like I did and gain weight. But, now I have made a choice to change, a choice that I live with daily; but I have to continue to make right choice in this journey.

I became the proud owner of a Realize band on April 16, 2012. My band and I have had (like most) a love/hate relationship at times but even at the rockiest of times I've had no regrets. As time has gone on the 'novelty' of having the band has worn off. Worn off in a sense that we have become one.
 
I have lost a ton of weight so far but honestly as happy as I am about that it is not what amazes me the most. What amazes me is the way I look at food now. I am 46 years old and have been overweight since I was a little boy. I use to plan my binges. I was never one for eating huge portioned meals but I was a severe junk food junky. I would eat my dinner with anticipation that I had Cheez-its, ice cream and soda waiting for me as part of my nightly ritual. I wouldn't be satisfied until the 1 pound box of Cheez-its was gone and the half gallon of ice cream heavily dented if not empty. Next day or every other day I would be going to the store to replenish.
 
For the first time in my life I felt I wasn't controlled by food. I have had some strange moments in this journey where I felt like something was missing....There was times when I would be sitting there while watching t.v or whatever it was I might be doing and thinking 'I am bored and I don't recall every being this bored before' and I would get up and go do something. This was my AH HA moment..that moment when you feel liberated, that moment when you think my god what happened? My band had released me from years of food imprisonment.
 
As time has gone on my appetite is almost non existent. I am amazed that I have not battled head hunger at all. I hope this is not a fluke.
 
I still battle with my laziness but at least food is not a factor. Most of my weight loss has been with minimal exercise and it is something I am working on. Now that the nice weather is here I have been going out for 1 mile walks during my lunch hour. I remember a time when I couldn't walk the grocery store for 10 minutes and now I easily do a mile in 20 minutes. I am going to work on increasing the distance. I am doing a 5K Walk for Cancer in September.
 
So was the band worth it? (in my best Adam Sandler voice) Hell yeah!!

Since I work about 12+ hours a day, I am always grateful for assistance with the housework. I was quite thrilled the other day to come home to find out that my mother completed two loads of wash for me. However, it quickly turned to dread when I discovered that my black dress pants that I wear to work were put into the dryer. Now, let me fill you in a little bit about my dress pants. We usually have a battle in the morning with zipping them up. I lay on the bed, wiggle around, and feel the pain throb on my finger as I try to get that zipper up. I would NEVER put them in the dryer as the heat from the dryer is not my friend! So I had to break down and wiggle my butt into Spanx and thought I had won the battle with my pants. Well...sort of... It was still a challenge. This is what I usually deal with and what I have been dealing with for quite some time.
 
I was banded on March 4, took 2 weeks off from work, and during the first week back at work, I avoided my black pants since I was still sore in my stomach area. So here it is...Friday, March 30, and I have run out of options for clothing. There in my closet, looking ever so quiet (and a bit afraid of the battle that may ensue) are my black pants. Ugh! I am going to hate this
beginning to a Friday morning I thought to myself. Well, here it goes. I decided not to go with the Spanx as sometimes it is not all that comfortable for sitting too long and I knew I had a meeting to attend that day. Obviously, I had been weighing myself since March 4 and thought, hmmmm... let's
see if 20 pounds has made a difference in my world. (I have 130 more to lose...not real sure if 20 really made difference yet.)
 
I put both legs in those pants, pulled them up, and got ready for the wrestling match on the bed. Much to my surprise, they zipped. I don't mean just zipped up....I mean they zipped without a 10 minute worm dance on my bed! I was thrilled! Beyond thrilled! These pants haven't seen a dryer for quite sometime so I just know it was thrilled too! No one at work has noticed the weight loss and I really don't expect anyone to notice until I buy new clothes and lose around 40 lbs. But my pants and I knew better that particular day. We were winning together!
 
As I shut off the light in my bedroom, I thought I heard a small voice say, "I'm next" from the pair of pants (Size 16) that I wore several years ago when I lost 70 lbs. Yes...my friend...you are next! Just stay in that drawer a little bit longer. I am working on getting you out and about as soon as I can...and I promise we won't have a battle!

I post this here so I can refer back to it often.
 
1) Where you are in life isn’t a measure of your full potential. It’s a measure of how you’ve played life’s cards SO FAR.
 
2) It’s never too late to play your hand a different way.
 
3) If you challenge YOURSELF every day, you’ll have more experience when LIFE challenges YOU.
 
4) Just like muscles need to be broken down to get stronger, sometimes we need to be broken down mentally and
emotionally to get stronger in their respective senses as well.
 
5) Sometimes the people that you thought were good in your life were actually the people stepping on your head.
 
6) Surrounding yourself with positive and uplifting people, thoughts, pictures, quotes, experiences, etc. is the way to
FEEL like you are living a positive and uplifting life. The same is true for the opposite.
 
7) HUGE personal successes start with a LOT of smaller efforts that build a solid foundation for that success.
 
8) When you don’t believe in yourself, other people don’t believe in you either. When you DO believe in yourself, people
get blown away by everything you accomplish.
 
9) Some of the same people that see you turn your life around for the better will try to bring you back down to their level
in order to feel good at the level they are STILL at.
 
10) When those people start to succeed in bringing you down, FIGHT HARDER! KEEP your goals, and know that you
STILL have MORE potential to unleash!
 
11) NEVER GIVE UP! When you give up, you are saying, “I’m not worth it.”
 
12) KNOW that you ARE worth it!
 
13) Life isn’t easy or fair. The people that fare the best are the ones that adapt in difficult situations. Teach yourself to
adapt! Get creative!
 
14) The same routine yields the same results. If you’re unhappy, CHANGE something.
15) Patience!
16) “When you were in high school, college, etc…” < Stop living in the past! Live in the present!
 
17) Stop making excuses! Admit you’re flawed like the rest of the world, and figure out a way to be the BEST version of
yourself.
 
18) The best version of YOURSELF? What is that? Figure it out. Experiment. Stop looking to others for easy answers to
YOUR complicated personal battles.
 
19) Be proud of yourself!
 
20) Taking pride, and being a self-absorbed tool bag are NOT the same. So relax, and talk about your accomplishments
a little. It’s OK! You might even inspire someone else!
 
21) Stop worrying about failure, and “what ifs.” Focus on what you WILL do instead. When you decide to do something,
you find a way to do it. When you worry about failing, you find a way to do IT too.
 
22) Taking care of YOU should be a PRIORITY. It doesn’t make you selfish. It means you have self-respect. Besides,
everyone knows you can’t be fully present for others when you’re not for yourself. Win-win.
 
23) Take out the trash. You’re not a dumpster, so get rid of the garbage in your life. (Whatever that garbage is- people,
food, habits…etc.)
 
24) Allow yourself to be human and have “bad days.” You’re not a superhero. Get over it.
 
25) When you DO have bad days, find a way to re-inspire yourself. Even if it’s just by making a list of things you’ve
learned in life and sharing it in on the internet
 
26)Patience!
 
27)Remove the Drama from your life!

Obesity is a physical sign of an unhealthy mindset. Most people believe that losing weight involves having willpower and being perfect. This is the wrong mindset to have. Your mindset is fueled by the conversations you have with yourself. If your internal conversations are positive and healthy, your mind will follow through. These inner talks can give you the motivation to keep going or the discouragement to quit.
Another important part of permanent weight loss involves planning and perseverance. Failure and mistakes are inevitable. You have to learn how to accept them and move on. If you can't internally deal with failure, then you won't be able to move past it. This is different than defeat. Being defeated is letting failure win and letting your missteps ruin your success. The best way to keep failure from becoming defeat is by continuously working on a better mindset. Below are some ways to help you do that and keep you on the path to success.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
In order to do this, you have to give your all. No cliche excuses, no poor self-esteem, and no setting yourself up for failure with unrealistic goals. Trying your best can only produce positive outcomes. They may not be the outcomes you initially wanted, but believing in yourself is the first step to achieving what you set out to do.
CREATE A ROUTINE
Plan out your meals, plan out your exercise, and then follow through. The easiest way to get off track is not being prepared. Your willpower can only hold out for so long. Willpower is your brain's attempt to overcome your natural desires. Even though the brain is very commanding, natural tendencies will eventually win out. If you depend on willpower alone to lose weight, you will probably fail. If you create a rock-solid eating plan and put aside some time for exercise, then you will succeed. Meal plans, will help you learn how to stay on track and maintain your success without becoming overwhelmed.
PERSEVERANCE
Expect failure and embrace it. None of this matters unless you are willing to trek on, even in the face of failure. If you treat your mistakes as lessons learned and stay the course, you will succeed. If you succumb to your failure and project it inward, you will most likely fail, fall back to your old eating habits and continue to live an unhealthy lifestyle. Accepting defeat creates an unhealthy diet cycle that, for some, never stops.
USE YOUR IMAGINATION
If a healthy eating plan is not designed to fit your needs, then it becomes very hard for you to succeed. If you don't like the food, you're probably not going to eat it. If you don't like the exercise, you're probably not going to do it. Tweak and change plans in order to make a routine easier and more enjoyable to follow. Use your imagination to create the best diet plan for you! Choosing what you like to eat enables you to associate good thoughts and feelings with that food. Associating a healthy diet with positive feelings will help you to stick to the plan and be more successful in the long run.
ALWAYS BE ACCOUNTABLE
No one is responsible for your weight loss, except you. Don't blame your job, “body type”, family, or society; you will never succeed. Take control over yourself, decisions, and outlook on failures. Without positive accountability, there can never be lasting success.
DEAL WITH YOUR EMOTIONS
Many people will eat when they're sad, eat when they're happy, or eat when they're bored. Food is used as a coping mechanism for all sorts of things. If you want to change your body, then you have deal with the emotions that hinder your success. A good way to do this is only eating if you're hungry or when you have a meal planned out. If you plan ahead, then you are more likely to stay on track if your emotions get out of whack.
CHANGE YOUR PROGRAMMING
Most of us have been programmed to think that we're fat, unhealthy, and that we will never look or feel the way we want. Too often, this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you tell yourself that you'll always be unhealthy, then that will probably be true. The opposite is also correct. If you tell yourself you want to be healthy, stay healthy, and lose weight no matter what obstacles you may face, then you are setting yourself up for success.
STAY POSITIVE
The best way to have a healthy mindset is to stay positive. Try to find good in everything and train your mind to think in the best interest of your body. Focus on replacing unhealthy thoughts with healthy ones and your body will start to follow suit.
If you have any other questions or want to know more about how to have a healthy mindset, go over to our Facebook page by clicking the link at the top of the newsletter. You can talk with us and other dieters about anything you like. We want to hear about your successes and your failures in the hopes that people will learn from your mistakes and find motivation in your victories.
 
I got this in an online post I recieve,

Obesity is a physical sign of an unhealthy mindset. Most people believe that losing weight involves having willpower and being perfect. This is the wrong mindset to have. Your mindset is fueled by the conversations you have with yourself. If your internal conversations are positive and healthy, your mind will follow through. These inner talks can give you the motivation to keep going or the discouragement to quit.
Another important part of permanent weight loss involves planning and perseverance. Failure and mistakes are inevitable. You have to learn how to accept them and move on. If you can't internally deal with failure, then you won't be able to move past it. This is different than defeat. Being defeated is letting failure win and letting your missteps ruin your success. The best way to keep failure from becoming defeat is by continuously working on a better mindset. Below are some ways to help you do that and keep you on the path to success.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
In order to do this, you have to give your all. No cliche excuses, no poor self-esteem, and no setting yourself up for failure with unrealistic goals. Trying your best can only produce positive outcomes. They may not be the outcomes you initially wanted, but believing in yourself is the first step to achieving what you set out to do.
CREATE A ROUTINE
Plan out your meals, plan out your exercise, and then follow through. The easiest way to get off track is not being prepared. Your willpower can only hold out for so long. Willpower is your brain's attempt to overcome your natural desires. Even though the brain is very commanding, natural tendencies will eventually win out. If you depend on willpower alone to lose weight, you will probably fail. If you create a rock-solid eating plan and put aside some time for exercise, then you will succeed. Meal plans, will help you learn how to stay on track and maintain your success without becoming overwhelmed.
PERSEVERANCE
Expect failure and embrace it. None of this matters unless you are willing to trek on, even in the face of failure. If you treat your mistakes as lessons learned and stay the course, you will succeed. If you succumb to your failure and project it inward, you will most likely fail, fall back to your old eating habits and continue to live an unhealthy lifestyle. Accepting defeat creates an unhealthy diet cycle that, for some, never stops.
USE YOUR IMAGINATION
If a healthy eating plan is not designed to fit your needs, then it becomes very hard for you to succeed. If you don't like the food, you're probably not going to eat it. If you don't like the exercise, you're probably not going to do it. Tweak and change plans in order to make a routine easier and more enjoyable to follow. Use your imagination to create the best diet plan for you! Choosing what you like to eat enables you to associate good thoughts and feelings with that food. Associating a healthy diet with positive feelings will help you to stick to the plan and be more successful in the long run.
ALWAYS BE ACCOUNTABLE
No one is responsible for your weight loss, except you. Don't blame your job, “body type”, family, or society; you will never succeed. Take control over yourself, decisions, and outlook on failures. Without positive accountability, there can never be lasting success.
DEAL WITH YOUR EMOTIONS
Many people will eat when they're sad, eat when they're happy, or eat when they're bored. Food is used as a coping mechanism for all sorts of things. If you want to change your body, then you have deal with the emotions that hinder your success. A good way to do this is only eating if you're hungry or when you have a meal planned out. If you plan ahead, then you are more likely to stay on track if your emotions get out of whack.
CHANGE YOUR PROGRAMMING
Most of us have been programmed to think that we're fat, unhealthy, and that we will never look or feel the way we want. Too often, this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you tell yourself that you'll always be unhealthy, then that will probably be true. The opposite is also correct. If you tell yourself you want to be healthy, stay healthy, and lose weight no matter what obstacles you may face, then you are setting yourself up for success.
STAY POSITIVE
The best way to have a healthy mindset is to stay positive. Try to find good in everything and train your mind to think in the best interest of your body. Focus on replacing unhealthy thoughts with healthy ones and your body will start to follow suit.
If you have any other questions or want to know more about how to have a healthy mindset, go over to our Facebook page by clicking the link at the top of the newsletter. You can talk with us and other dieters about anything you like. We want to hear about your successes and your failures in the hopes that people will learn from your mistakes and find motivation in your victories.
 
I got this in an online post I recieve,

Obesity is a physical sign of an unhealthy mindset. Most people believe that losing weight involves having willpower and being perfect. This is the wrong mindset to have. Your mindset is fueled by the conversations you have with yourself. If your internal conversations are positive and healthy, your mind will follow through. These inner talks can give you the motivation to keep going or the discouragement to quit.
Another important part of permanent weight loss involves planning and perseverance. Failure and mistakes are inevitable. You have to learn how to accept them and move on. If you can't internally deal with failure, then you won't be able to move past it. This is different than defeat. Being defeated is letting failure win and letting your missteps ruin your success. The best way to keep failure from becoming defeat is by continuously working on a better mindset. Below are some ways to help you do that and keep you on the path to success.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
In order to do this, you have to give your all. No cliche excuses, no poor self-esteem, and no setting yourself up for failure with unrealistic goals. Trying your best can only produce positive outcomes. They may not be the outcomes you initially wanted, but believing in yourself is the first step to achieving what you set out to do.
CREATE A ROUTINE
Plan out your meals, plan out your exercise, and then follow through. The easiest way to get off track is not being prepared. Your willpower can only hold out for so long. Willpower is your brain's attempt to overcome your natural desires. Even though the brain is very commanding, natural tendencies will eventually win out. If you depend on willpower alone to lose weight, you will probably fail. If you create a rock-solid eating plan and put aside some time for exercise, then you will succeed. Meal plans, will help you learn how to stay on track and maintain your success without becoming overwhelmed.
PERSEVERANCE
Expect failure and embrace it. None of this matters unless you are willing to trek on, even in the face of failure. If you treat your mistakes as lessons learned and stay the course, you will succeed. If you succumb to your failure and project it inward, you will most likely fail, fall back to your old eating habits and continue to live an unhealthy lifestyle. Accepting defeat creates an unhealthy diet cycle that, for some, never stops.
USE YOUR IMAGINATION
If a healthy eating plan is not designed to fit your needs, then it becomes very hard for you to succeed. If you don't like the food, you're probably not going to eat it. If you don't like the exercise, you're probably not going to do it. Tweak and change plans in order to make a routine easier and more enjoyable to follow. Use your imagination to create the best diet plan for you! Choosing what you like to eat enables you to associate good thoughts and feelings with that food. Associating a healthy diet with positive feelings will help you to stick to the plan and be more successful in the long run.
ALWAYS BE ACCOUNTABLE
No one is responsible for your weight loss, except you. Don't blame your job, “body type”, family, or society; you will never succeed. Take control over yourself, decisions, and outlook on failures. Without positive accountability, there can never be lasting success.
DEAL WITH YOUR EMOTIONS
Many people will eat when they're sad, eat when they're happy, or eat when they're bored. Food is used as a coping mechanism for all sorts of things. If you want to change your body, then you have deal with the emotions that hinder your success. A good way to do this is only eating if you're hungry or when you have a meal planned out. If you plan ahead, then you are more likely to stay on track if your emotions get out of whack.
CHANGE YOUR PROGRAMMING
Most of us have been programmed to think that we're fat, unhealthy, and that we will never look or feel the way we want. Too often, this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you tell yourself that you'll always be unhealthy, then that will probably be true. The opposite is also correct. If you tell yourself you want to be healthy, stay healthy, and lose weight no matter what obstacles you may face, then you are setting yourself up for success.
STAY POSITIVE
The best way to have a healthy mindset is to stay positive. Try to find good in everything and train your mind to think in the best interest of your body. Focus on replacing unhealthy thoughts with healthy ones and your body will start to follow suit.
If you have any other questions or want to know more about how to have a healthy mindset, go over to our Facebook page by clicking the link at the top of the newsletter. You can talk with us and other dieters about anything you like. We want to hear about your successes and your failures in the hopes that people will learn from your mistakes and find motivation in your victories.
 
I got this in an online post I recieve,

On thursday last, I went to the doctor to weigh in and get a fill. Last appointment weight was 232. NOW I'M DOWN 5 LBS! (227). Let me say it feels so good to be in the 220's. I haven't been this thin in two whole years! I'm down a total of about 30 lbs in 4 months since my pre-op diet. I no longer look like I'm 6 months pregnant or hiding a watermelon under my shirt. lol. I feel like I can get dressed without feeling like it's a chore to find something to hide my form; that is such a weight off my shoulders (literally). And, I feel like I can look strangers in the eye now instead of praying i'm invisisble to the world.
 
In other news, my doctor decided to only give me .5 cc's as a fill because I am getting stuck on certain things. (This brings me to a total of 3.5 cc's in my 14 cc band. I'm getting stuck on certain things, yet I feel like I am still way in the yellow zone. I don't make a practice of eating too much, but sometimes it doesn't feel like the band is cutting the quantity of food as much as it could be. I know some people on the forums/blogs that get full after a couple of bits, and that's definitely not my personal experience. I think the band helps me to eat less a little, but most of it's me choosing to eat less; either way i'm not getting full until i have a cup of food. I hope my doctor will give me a fill next time too. 3.5 cc's does not seem like a lot of fluid and I think maybe a bigger fill would help with speeding up the weight loss; just a thought.
 
To make all this possible I have been working out like crazy; i spend about 2 hrs at the gym everyday. Now that I'm lighter I can exercise even more than I was before and push myself harder. For me weight loss isn't possible without exercise because I haven't conquered all my bad eating habits yet; i need to burn upwards of 1,000 cal at the gym or I wouldn't make progress. Here's to sticking it out and doing my best everyday! Good luck to everyone else on their journey and "may the odds be ever in your favor" as they say in the Hunger Games.

I haven't blogged in so long! I am currently almost 4 weeks post op and am getting ready for my first fill on Thursday morning. I have to be at the surgery center at 7:00 for my fill at 7:30....having it done under fluoroscopy. It should take about 5 minutes and I am SO ready for it!
I am hungry!!!!! I am trying very hard to follow the rules and so far have been able to do so.
 
Let's see what I've discovered so far in my journey:
*my stomach growls a lot
*even without fluid, I can't eat as much as before
*I need my water
*Remembering to take my vitamins is hard to do
*my incisions look incredible...i only have 2...one is a tiny one below my breastbone and the other at my belly button
*I've been very selective in choosing the people with whom I've shared about having surgery...those people have all been incredibly supportive
*I am steadily losing weight...with my home scale showing about 21 pounds as of this morning
*I feel incredible and have a lot more energy than I did 21 pounds ago
*choosing food at a restaurant is tricky
*finding time for exercise is sometimes a challenge while raising 2 boys and teaching
*my portion of my hospital bill so far is about $2200.00 (I'm not sure how many more bills need to be processed by BCBS)
*the things that I write here on this site have inspired others and that means the world to me
 
And finally....I've learned that for me, this has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. I don't regret it at all and pray that my positive experience continues.
 
Sending positive vibes to everyone on this journey!!!!
 
Deana

Ok i know that i already posted a blog earlier but i cant help but to remember things that i want to talk about and didn't. Life with lap band isn't perfect and it wasn't meant to be its a tool just like a computer or a calculator is its there for help. It isnt there to just take the fat away while you do nothing its not an easy fix, now the reason i say this is because i can not count the number of time i have been told well isnt that cheating? And this is my answer "NO you dont understand i have a leave of control that wasn't there before. I have this tool to help me to not make bad choices and sometimes i do and then i realize by my own hard hardheadedness that maybe i shouldn't have done that. But again its nothing more then a tool". Then another question i have been ask is Why couldn't you have just done this on your own? This would be my Favorite question. And here is what i usually say " have you ever been on a diet and got stuck at one number and at the end of the day you just felt like it wasn't worth it any more? Well it was like that for me and i would give up or maybe you went on a diet but at the same time wanted a big plate of food and you just said screw it and ate whatever you wanted any ways and then gained weight and the whole thing just didn't seem to work for you? that is why i did it because i need control and i need a way that wont let me cheat and i need to feel like i can do something about the way that i look." Here is what the people who love you and care about you need to understand its all about you with lap band now i dont mean go and forget about others but you have to make your weight loss something that is yours. Something that you can control and something that is for you because if you dont want to do it then you wont. It has to be for you and yes there are other reasons mine was i wanted to go to a water park with my family and wear a swim suit nothing skanky just wear one again. i told my self that if i could get down to the 100s by Christmas we were going to great wolf lodge (its an indoor water park). I know i was banded in September and didnt give my self much time but for Christmas i was at that water park and i was in a swimming suit. Again nothing skanky and i wore shorts and a shirt but the good thing was that i didnt really have to and i damn sure didnt have to wear boys swim trunks and i didnt have to wear about ten undershirts. I was in a women swimming suit and i wasnt scared of well maybe i shouldnt wear this im too fat. i was 210lbs and that to me was so much better then 280. I have done things now that i would have never been able to do before. If i had never have done this for myself and done it for someone else i don't think that i would have stuck with it. I think it would have been like everything else that i had done before to try and get the weight off and yes before it was for someone else and it wasn't ever really for me.
Some question will really get to you and might even make you think well should i really have done this? When i had this done i didn't want to let anyone know what i did i was scared that they would think i was cheating and that i had failed. But i realized that not to many people really think that not to many people are really that fast to judge you. However i have found some that are. See when you start to loose a lot of weight people what to know how, how you did it and what you are doing. And again at first these where not easy question to answer i mean how are you supposed to tell people that you have had weight loss surgery. For a while i thought well maybe i have cheated myself maybe i could have done this on my own and i didn't really need the lap band. But the truth was always there i needed some help i needed it and so i posted on Facebook what i did and just sat and waited. I waited to see what people would think of me now that they had the chance to ask me and find out what i had really done. and it turns out most of the feed back that i got wasn't bad it was mostly all good, and then there is the question here it is " was your husband going to leave you because you where so fat?" No my husband loved me for me not for what i looked like i mean he says that i am more fun now but he has always loved me.
I get a look sometimes when i tell people that i have had lap band like ummm you did what? and sometimes its a pitty look like oh that poor girl she must have weighted 500lbs. But with time it gets easier to deal with all the questions all the bad look and you end up just smiling and knowing that you did what was right for you. And do be surprised when people act like you didn't know you were fat. LOL this is one of the questions i hate the most. " well what made you decide you were fat?" Im always like wtf! Do you really think that i didnt know i was fat? I looked im a mirror every day of my life. In fact i didnt decide i was fat i decided to get help for myself, because i wasn't doing a very good job on my own.
Here is something else that i have learned people treat you different even some of your friends will treat you different. I mean people are nice but sometimes when someone sees you like a cable guy or something they will be nice but that's pretty much it. Example i had a cable guy come to my house to install internet for after my surgery. He was nice answered all my questions and did his job and left. two months ago i had to call them back because of some outside issues and the way i was treated was completely different he had a conversation with me and told me all kinds of things but when i was bigger he wouldn't say more then a few words to me at a time. People in stores treat you different to my husband thought i was joking until i told him to come in a store with me. One that him and i had been in when i was bigger and i had to ask for help and i had to get my own stuff they did very very little. But as soon as i walked in all of a sudden i had three people ask me what they could get for me and what size i needed. My husband has never questioned that again. When your big sometimes its hard for us to take up for our selves sometimes its like well whats the point? And i cant speek for any one else but i was like that for a long time after the surgery i didnt see the difference and i thought well if someone was to call me fat all i could do is cry and go home like i always do. Untill two weeks ago i didnt realize that i did look different that i wasnt really "fat" any more. but i was standing up to people who i would have never stood up to before, i got to a point where i wasn't going to let any one say anything about the way that i looked what my children where eating or anything and for the first time i stood up for my step son and it felt really good to do that for my child. That was another turning point were i thought wow i can do this and i didnt loose it i wasn't told to sit down and shut up and i wasn't called fat.
LIfe after lap band isnt always fun and its not easy but i would say its more then worth it. And sometimes its crazy frustrating i mean who doesn't want a big burger from time to time or a big soda or just alot of crap all at once. But when you realize that you have the control and the will not to it all seems worth it. when your daughter comes up to you and throws her arms around you and says WOW MOM i can fit my arms around you like twice, then its all worth it. When you can do things with your husband that before just were not possible then its worth it. When you see a man from your past that put you down and told you, you where ugly and fat and couldn't been seen with you, and he says to you wow your so pretty and you can just sit and smile and tell him thank you or tell him he can go to hell which ever then you know that it was all worth it.

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."
~ Unknown

Many people think that lap-band or gastric bypass are an easy way out of a life of over eating. I was one of those people. I have struggled with my weight since I can remember being told I was fat (around 6 or 7). I have been on hundreds of diets, lost hundreds of pounds and gained every single one back again. I personally know a few people that have had the lap-band procedure done. They lost a large amount of weight in the beginning but they didn't change the food they were eating and ultimately gained the weight back. My surgeon told me that the lap-band is merely a tool to be used in conjunction with diet and exercise. Not a miracle. Science has yet to create a miracle weight loss pill or device although; if you watch the infomercials they have. When someone is at an unhealthy weight (one that could kill you) sometimes a helping hand is exactly what the doctor ordered. Many things factor into why a person would become obese. It's not like we wake up one day and say " I think I'm going to be so fat that I can barely move, or breathe". Our skinny counterparts are very fond of saying "you just need more will power". Well, I am here to tell you will power has very little to do with it. In my case, and many people I know food is an addiction. Mine started when I was very young. Food made it all better when I was being abused. Food never hurt me or talked bad to me. It always made me feel happy. Unfortunately; food also got me to where I am at know. My doctor said I use food as a stress reliever. No DUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

So sue me... I'm human. I make mistakes... Lots of them. I love to eat not because I'm hungry or because I'm a super human crime fighter and I need extra sustanance but just because, well, food is yummy. I've known this all along but not so much as after I got banded. Two or three days after surgery I was walking through my kitchen on my way to the laundry room and found myself face to face with a plate full of my delicious lemon Garlic chicken smothered in olive oil. So what did I do in this period of clear liquid diet????? Naturally without thinking I picked up a half of boneless chicken breast and just "plopped" it in my mouth. Chewed it a couple of times... Calmly walked over to the trash and spit it all out. Then I brushed my teeth and rinsed with Listerine... Looked in the mirror and forgave myself. What else can I do? I'm human. We're all human. So when you haVe a whoopsie moment. Don't beat yourself up... Forgive yourself and start fresh. You deserve it. Thanks for reading. Thanks to my family... Thank God and Dr Sal.

Okay...I had my lapband surgery done in July 2010. I am now a little over 1 1/2 years out and still losing weight. I have hit some plateaus along the way. However, I just keep perserving. The past month, I have lost 9 lbs. The one main thing that I notice is that I keep losing my shoes. I mean really....I went out with my dad and sister. As I went to step out of the vehicle. my high heel fell off. I laughed...even my feet are losing weight. The shoes that I wore to work today kept flipping off the back of my feet like flips. I guess it is going to be time to go shoe shopping and get some new ones.
My advice to everyone out there just starting this journey....just keep preservering. I have hit several plateaus that lasted a few months each time with the scale stuck at a weight. However, I knew that I was doing the right thing and I did not get discouraged. I finally feel like my body has accepted this...and the weight loss has picked up again. Well of and out to surf the web for some new footware!

What was I thinking not taking today off work? Mondays are my busiest days, with only one prep period. And I have lunch duty this week. Not to mention that my sixth graders are being particularly chatty and unfocused today, which is really annoying in light of the other Ws to follow.
 
Why when I went back to my apartment to grab my umbrella (because it rains so often in the desert) after missing the bus to work did I also take some of my medicines out of my bag? Specifically my Children's Advil. My port site incision is HURTING. Granted, not the worst pain I've felt in my life, but it certainly doesn't make me want to be around kids today. Fortunately, my lovely friend and school nurse is going to give me some medicine next period while my students are in the library, so hopefully it will feel better soon.
 
When is nap time? I am tired. Not exhausted, but I could certainly use a nap. Tragically, I don't get a nap today. And the overhead ultraviolet lighting is only making my eyes feel heavier.
 
**********Nine Hours Later**********
 
W also apparently stands for wind, and no, I'm not talking about gas. I'm talking about my second wind, which came around 11:00 this morning. Upon reflection, I tend to tell my students I don't wake up until 10:00, so I'm only an hour off my game. Sweet!
 
And lastly, W is for weigh in. I had my first one post-op today, along with a dressing change which I was dreading. The dressing change was actually no big deal at all. Everything looks good, according to the doctor. And, drumroll please, since beginning my liquid diet eight days ago, I have lost 8.8.bs! Woohoo! This drops me from 292.6lbs to 283.8lbs. In just over a week! In the past nine years, my highest weight was 324lbs. and my lowest was 274lbs. My first goal for myself is to see a number lower than that. I am super excited!

June 7th, 2007 was the day that I was banded. I weighed 286 pounds. Over the course of the next 18 months I made it all the way down to 206 pounds. Then my band slipped and I had to have corrective surgery and it scared me to pieces.
 
Long story short.... the weight came back. Dang.
 
Today I weighed 258.8 pounds. My goal weight is 186 pounds. This blog is going to be my daily record of what I am eating, how I am exercising and a documentation of the emotional journey that I am taking.
 
I have heard it said that if I can lose it the second time I will never gain it back again. I don't know if that is true but I am willing to do it one more time.... on the thought of being healthy and athletic.
 
Talk to you all tomorrow...
 
Blessings,
 
Michelle

This is my first blog so I hope I'm doing this right. My name is Sandra and I'm a married mom of two wonderful boys. I was banded on December 23, 2011 and lost 20 ppounds in the first two weeks. In the second two weeks not so much... I gained 1 pound. So, today was my first fill and it was a lot easier than I expected. The Doc asked me to lay on my back. He found my port and numbed me a bit then filled me up. He then had me sit up and sip water until I could feel it in my throat.then he removed some fluid from my band until the water moved down smoothly. I sat in the loby until I could comfortably drink a half bottle of water. Then I left for home. Awesome. I feel great. If this helps anyone else then my time is well worth it. Thanks to my family... Dr Sal... And thanks be to God.

So after a bit of a stall in weight loss, I hit a milestone today. I am now down a total of 40 pounds from my start weight. The last two pounds took their sweet time comng off but today I was so excited when I got off the scale I was jumping up and down -naked, in my dining room. Thank god my kids were still asleep. Now only 80 lbs more to go. I am third of the way to my goal and I'm use over a month post op. This week I made some discoveries I want to share:
 
First- If I'm going have any money left to buy nice clothes by the time I reach my goal weight I need need to figure out how to get clothing now for my change body that doesn't break the bank but I still feel good in. I bought a pair of size 18 jeans two weeks ago-$25 on sale - too big now. All my other jeans too big to wear out of house cause if I move around too much they fall down, or they look too frumpy because too big. So...I found a new second hand store that had just open near by a friend of mine took me too on Wednesday. It was nicer then most and had some really nice clothing for cheap. I got three pairs of designer jeans-one still had original price tag of $65 -size 16, all for under $20 TOTAL! - They were really tight on Wednesday, had to lie down to get zipped, but not so bad today. I actually got them on and up while standing up with no problem.
 
Second- Oikos Key Lime Greek Yogurt-If you crumble up a small bit of graham cracker on top, It tastes very much like a Real Key Lime Pie. 11 grams of protein and 150 calories. I felt like I was being so bad but I wasn't.
 
Third- When I was putting makeup, to go to meeting at kids new school, on this morning I noticed I had cheek bones again!!! So cool. I actually skipped to my friends car in my new not too tight jeans.
 
Take care everyone.