Merle

Thanks everyone for your feedback, and as hard as it is to believe or hear I need it. I did go see my doctor today and discussed the ambien and other mid life issues, he's sending me for bloodwork, and some of what I'm experiencing could be related to thyroid. But I have committed to going to sleep earlier and staying in bed. Its short term, but its worked so far, I havent attacked the refridgerator yet this week. One day at a time, one meal at a time. I've accepted I'm a food addict, so just like any other addiction I'm going to have my good days and bad, but I can't give into this anymore. I've done everything I can, I have all the tools I need to succeed. I have to believe in myself that I can do this for me, I'm worth it.

I hear everything all of you have said. and you're right. I have lost focus that the band is a tool to help me succeed. I lost track, and sat back and was waiting for the band to make me thin. It wasnt bad in right after surgery, but the past 4 months, I have acted as tho I have been on a non stop vacation. I was eating 1/2 gallon of ice cream at a sitting, a dozen oreos (or more) it was out of control. Granted I didn't lose weight, but I really didn't gain much, especially during the episodes of vomiting non stop and then not being able to eat ANYTHING not even water. But when they took out fluid 3 cc,, it was a black hole. Being on ambien I believe doesnt help, it doesn't seem I have any control. And you mention candy, there are days that that is all I eat. Preferrably peanut butter cups. or I'll eat PB ice cream and heat peanut butter to pour over the top. AGAIN after ambien. I don't eat like that at all during the day. Almost a competition at night,, and Im afraid to leave anything. Worse part, I usually don't remember eating. While I'm pigging out, there is no remorse