Rebecca Cain Salpacka

Ok so here it is summer and here i am with three kids who LOVE swimming just as much as me. Which was always fine as long as it was our own pool but about two years ago my kids learned about hurricane harbor and all the water fun that has to offer. All that i could see was me being the over weight mom wishing that i wasn't. I love to make my kids smile and i knew that i would be the only one uncomfortable with myself because i was over weight. I mean i never ever bought myself a swim suit because well let face it i knew i was big and big isn't always pretty in swim wear. So when i started my lap band journey i had many goals and one of the goals was to get myself to where i looked good enough to wear a swim suit in June. I have push myself and pushed my self. And back in march i bought a swim suit and i wore it at a hotel in and indoor pool and i thought to myself this wasn't bad i wasn't made fun of and this swim suit really hid all the loose skin areas. So last week i bought my whole family season passes to hurricane harbor. It was the first time that i went since i was about 17 and had an adorable body. But now here i am branded looking of some sort of redemption as far as all the excuses i had given my husband in the past about why i didn't want to go to the BIG water park. In my husbands eyes i have looked beautiful at every point but my kids are a little harder to sell on the idea. But we went yesterday and i wore my swim suit in front of the thousands of people and no bad looks no mean name calling nothing. And what made the day even better was that my son wanted to ride all the rides with me he asked me to go ride rides with him. And he said mom your pretty. He is nine and i have said this before but just to be clear i haven't had any children of my own i have three step children that i adopted. But my son is the one that i have really raised because he was so small when we met each other He acts just like me and everyone thinks that he is really mine but any ways. He told me that i was pretty and that made the day that much better! Thanks to my lap band i can go to water parks and i can feel like everyone else at them and as long as my kids are happy im pretty sure i can do anything!

Day 10 post-op. Today was much better. Yogurt, applesauce, soup, and liquids. I'm getting used to the smaller amount of food...I don't mean my stomach, I mean my brain is getting used to it.
I keep forgetting to report the best part...no more heart-burn (could be the band or the hernia repair...don't care) and my knees are feeling better...just by dropping 10 pounds! I had the energy to babysit tonight and to wash my kitchen floor. Yay!

ok my anniversary will be may 20th! my goal was to be in a size 12 top and bottom(those of you that follow my blog, know how that's been going). well today i got a pair of size 12 jeans in the mail i ordered and tried them on just to see. OMG THEY FIT! now they are snug, but still comfortable. I COULD JUST CRY! i cant believe i made it and before my year! YEAH ME!!!!!

After a very uncomfortable night's sleep last night and a stiff morning, I'm feeling much better now. My referred pain in my shoulder is being managed by heat wraps and my tummy incision wounds aren't that bad right now. I am taking soluble panadol in water and it's so strange having to sip on that. I used to chug water into me like I was on a mission and now I'm having to slow it down so much. I'm so hopeful and yet a little apprehensive too that I'll be noticed... I know people will start to see the weight loss and wonder what I'm doing but you know what actually now that I've typed that, I don't care... I'm so excited!! My wonderful friend just dropped by with some panadol for me and she's as excited as me, complimenting my flat tummy (flat in comparison to 2 weeks ago- its still huge! But you gotta love her enthusiasm)
 
I'm having a bed day, I'm up and about in between but instead if sitting at the table or on the couch I'm propped up in bed. I can't go outside the weather is miserable (an Irish reality) and my place of work is too close to home to be seen until I get back to work next week. I've been told not to push it til after the weekend anyway which makes sense to me, keyhole or not, it's still surgery, a truma to the body that needs to be acknowledged and looked after.
 
I keep looking forward to the end of the summer and wondering what I'll look like, how I'll feel.... Will I still have the same crush I have right now? Will I be able to act it out with increased confidence and self belief? I find it funny that I'll be the same me but that people will get to see me at last... Food for thought....
 
I took 15 minutes to eat my ready brek this morning and it was freezing half way. I slowly drank a glass of juice and I mean very slowly compared to before and I still think I'm not being slow enough. Instead of shovelling it all in, I'm being forced to reassess my habits and take my time... Which is so not my usual style, I'm like a whirlwind in so many ways, especially in relation to my eating. I think this is gong to be enlightening in more ways than one. Maybe I'll slow everything down and become a calmer eater and person in general.
 
It's funny to listen to water slowly gurgling down or to feel a very slight back up when taking a drink... My band is going to kick in where will power won't, i will be forced to break my bad habits by being physically unable to shovel in bad food. This is FANTASTIC!!!! I am seriously going to try to focus on the positive. It doesn't matter what everyone around me does, this is time for me to focus on me. I still can't believe it's done, I can't believe I have a band inside me. I'm finally going to do it! I'm going to lose this weight that has shackled me for nearly my whole life. I'm so thankful. I wish everyone on the same journey the BEST of luck. We CAN do this!
 

Sometimes I agree that people should mind there own business when it comes to others. Since I took a leave of absence for 6 weeks after surgery I have co-workers constantly asking me what happen. First question did I have weight loss surgery, you have lost so much weight, so I said took personal leave meaning none of your business unless I disclose it too you. So before surgery they use to ask me if I want to order something to eat. Mind you no one knew I was having surgery. So the other day, they decided to go get food without me and I say why you did not tell me you were going to get food and she says because you ain't gonna eat it anyways. How stupid can people be? How you know what I can eat? It kinda upset me but thank God I carry something in my lunch bag, and she can continue to be over weight eating all that take-out fried food. It never cease to amaze me that because people are unhappy they want you to be unhappy too. Just venting.

This journey has so far had many surprises and mostly all great experiences. From the people I meet to the friends around me that are all so supportive. It is definitely a journey. I believe my children are learning from this too. They see the good I am doing for myself and I know that they are happy for me. I think they like the idea I am taking care of myself now that they are a little older. They like to see me do things for me. I am so glad to be where I am at this point in my life....life is good!
p.s. the above Title "Fitting in" is because I had a very supportive friend give me a pair of pajamas for Christmas that were wayyyyy to small,( she said she bought them really small so I could work toward fitting into them) but now I'm" fitting in" them just fine! Thanks Peggy!

WELL TODAY I WAS DOING LAUNDRY AND DID NOT FEEL LIKE PUTTING ON CLOTHES TO PICK UP MY LIL GIRL FRM DAY CAMP SO I OPENED UP MY DRAWER AN ROOTED AROUND ON THE BOTTOM OF THE DRAWER WAS A OLD PAIR OF TOMMY HILFIGER JEANS USED TO BE MY FAV.......SO I SLIPPED THEM ON AND HELD MY BREATH YEP OVER MY HIPS,YEP AROUND MY WAIST,BUTTONED WITHOUT SUCKING IT IN LOL...NOT MUCH BELLY HANG EITHER YEAH ME A SIZE 16R NOT A 16W EITHER JUMPING UP AN DOWN !!!!!!

Laying in bed this morning and my arm hits something on my leg...I think to myself...what the hell? Turns out I have a hip and leg bone that has been hiding in my thigh for at least 3 decades. Needless to say it's pretty cool to find all these bones that have always been there but have been hiding...collar bones, shoulder bones, now hip bones...oh and I am even seeing ankles too, real ankles and not cankles. Just thought I would post this in my blog today. Feels good.