DELETE THIS ACCOUNT!

So I am currently on the mushy stage of my diet. Basically I can eat whatever I can mush up or thick liquids. If it can be pureed or mushied it can be eaten right now.
 
I have a rather large combined family and one of my biggest fears is it would be really hard not to want to eat the things the kids can have but I cannot. So subtly, over the last few grocery trips I have been making small changes that add up.
 
I bought spaghetti sauce with less sugar in it. I bought turkey meatballs and I changed their pasta to whole wheat. (I dont eat the pasta and probably never will again).
 
So when I made dinner.. The kids never said a word about the new taste of the meal. They loved it! They never knew the difference in the meatballs because I never said anything like "Hey this is really different.. try it". I just cooked like normal but with better ingredients. The family had their pasta dinner and I had two mushed up tiny meatballs and a little bit of sauce. Family dinner was a success.
 
Then last night's dinner was Mexican food night. Now.. I LOVE Mexican food. There is a little hole in the wall place here in the town I live in that I visited at least 4 times a week pre surgery. Yeah.. I admit it.. its my favorite and a weakness.
 
I made the taco meat with ground turkey and just seasoned it like normal. The seasoning turned it the orange color and gave it the same flavor. The kids never knew the difference. Used lower fat cheese and for the fajitas we did grilled chicken. I had fat free refried beans with a little salsa on top.
 
Lunch today was tomato soup with skim milk. They love tomato soup so that was never a fear.
 
I was so scared I would want to eat junk food. In all reality I am improving the health of my kids and they don't even know the difference. I am not making a huge deal out of EVERYTHING HAS TO CHANGE!!! If I do that.. they will shut down and not want anything new. I bought this HUGE box of sugar free popsicles and the kids love them for treats.
 
I wanted to write this blog to let other people know if you are worried about how the kids will react to the diet changes, just change it. Just make stuff and set it on the table. The rule in my house is if you are hungry enough you will eat. Try to make small little changes to favorites that make them healthier without changing everything they love. Another thing we have always done is there is never ever tv on during dinner. It is our time as a family to talk about the day. I think this kind of distracts them a little bit. It is so important for me to keep that time as a special family time. Where food was always the center of family get togethers, I think it in some ways still can be. We just have to make healthier decisions. So far even right down to the 6 year old, I have gotten great support from my kiddos.
 
I am so happy my major change can also be a healthy change for them without negatively impacting them. The last thing I want is to find any of my daughters obsessing over a scale before school. I want this to be an easy transition for everyone. While I am still learning what I can eat, I am having fun experimenting and looking at new things to cook for everyone. I am sure I can come up with healthy treats and things kids love without gaining weight back. I am just going to have to make the effort and be excited and say things like Oh my gosh you guys.. this is so yummy. If I have something yummy, most of the time they want to try it.
 
I still have my days where the smell of bacon wants me to know over my grandma for a plate of food.. but I think this journey is going to be a lot less hard than I thought as long as I just do it.
 
My imagination is so much worse than reality. Don't pysche yourself out. You got this.

Sitting at my desk wishing it was Friday... when I received a call from the hospital where I had my lap band surgery in December 2010 and most recently a sonogram after my tummy tuck to see what was causing the bleeding from my belly button. My first thought was they found some dreaded infection or worse yet…tumors… I braced myself for the bad news wondering why my plastic surgeon wasn’t calling…
 
The woman identified herself as the Director of Patient Relations and she was calling to congratulate me on my successful Lap Band journey and ask me if I would be interested in a starring role in their new advertising campaign. It’s just in the works now and it may be print or television…no details are firm yet.
 
After I picked my mouth off the ground and tried to wrap my head around the fact this wasn’t bad news… I thanked her for the call and asked how much it paid. Well maybe not quite that blunt but in a roundabout sort of way…. LOL. She doesn’t think it pays but it may open the door for other things… Like what…. I have no idea.
 
So anyway…. I thanked her for the call, told her I would consider it and she assured me I would be hearing from their creative department. I hung up the phone and the first thought I had was seeing my body on a billboard on the highway…. I spent all this time to get thin and now they want to blow me up…. Hysterical.

I have figured out that a lot of the reason I use to eat had nothing to do with hunger.
 
see something- eat it.
Smell something- eat it.
Board- eat
Worried- eat
Meal time - eat
 
I ate my way to almost 250 and I knew it had to stop.
 
Now I am much more selective about what and when I eat. I now eat 3 meals a day and sometime one snack. I still eat things I love, but I eat less or them.
 
Today I walked into the breakroom at work, there was a smorgasborg or treats: grapes, cheese, crackers, pimento cheese, rolls, celery. While these foods aren't bad foods, I didn't eat them, I wasn't hungry. In times past I would have fixed a nice rounded plate and gone back to my corner office and ate up. While my mouth and mind were saying yummy, just one bite, my tummy was saying, but hey yo I don't want any, not hungry please don't.
 
My eyes, mouth and mind get me in a lot of trouble when it comes to food.
 
My husband in blind, but very strong resourcful, brillant wonderful man; but he can't see the foods laying around. He never picks and taste at things, he doesn't graze. He eats his 3 meals and about 2 snacks a day and that is it. He isn't tempted by the stuff laying around because he can't see it. Now at meals he eats well, but that is a different story.
 
But, I think I need to become more like him; blind to the food just laying around. When I make a concious effort not to indulge I am fine, but when I uncounsiously peck I will pay with weight gain.
 
In my wieght loss journey I need to get my mind, mouth and tummy all on the same page.

Today I went to my post op visit. I am 12 days post op and down 20lbs from start weight on Pre Op diet!!!
 
I am so excited! The scale has NEVER moved backwards 20lbs. I was never one to gain and lose weight. I just steadily gained. My doctor said I was doing very well and being very compliant. He did tell me he did the plication pretty snug so to make sure I take it slow when eating.
 
They also told me to speed up my walking a bit and go a bit further. He wants me to walk for a half an hour for exercise 5 times a week.
 
They changed my diet today. For the rest of today and tomorrow I am on full liquids. Starting Friday I can have mushy food. YAY refried beans here I come!
 
So my clothes are not looser on me. However, my hands and feet are losing or at least lost swelling from water weight. My shoes are loose and I am now able to turn my rings on fingers without it hurting. My daughter says she can see the weight loss in my face but I cannot see it anywhere yet.
 
I am encouraged and very happy right now. At this time I am going to start weighing only once a week. I am sure like most I have been a little obsessed with that and weighing every day.
 
Hopefully, with hard work, the scale will continue to move backwards.

I met my wonderful amazing husband 5 years ago and married him 3.5 years ago. He is my biggest fan and support. Once he went to the seminar on WLS he was fully supportive of me having the band. Over the next couple of months I hemed and hawed about would I be, could I be successful on this journey. He kept telling me that ofcourse I would, I just needed to commit to him as I did him.
 
Soooo.......
 
I am in a committed relationship with my band. My band is 100% behind me losing weight. While my band can't prevent me from eating more than I should or eating things that are unhealthy for me; it can help me stay satisfied longer on less, that is if I allow it to. When I think about my band from this perspective- I think about I would never cheat on my husband why would I want to cheat on my band. Ruining my marriage would be painful, but ruining my band and having to have another surgery wouldn't be a walk in the park either. Just like with a marriage you have to work at it, I have to work at my band life. Some days it will be easy and other days it won't, but I don't give up on my marriage just because of one road bump and I won't give up on my band either.
 
Just like I want my marriage to last forever, I want my band life to last to.
 
So with this being said.... ( I am calling my band George)
 
I promise to love, honor, and cherish George forever!!
 
Are you in a committed relationship with your band?

Okay I feel sure I am likely going to offend someone here, so if you are easily offended stop reading now!
 
I don't often get on my "high horses" but I am today.
 
I have heard people complain and moan and groan about surgery being a waste of money and time. Well my first questions is....
Did you follow you doctor's orders?
Did you listen and follow what the nutritionist said?
Did you go in to see the doctor and discuss issues?
 
If the answer to any of those are no then you wasted your own money! I work hard to make a living and I am not going to give my money away for nothing. I am paying my surgeon and my nutritionist a prime rate and honey you better bet I am going to listen to their orders. If I feel like something they told me is unfounded then I am going to discuss it with them and see if we can come up with a plan- for example multivitamins make me sick. For some reason multivitamins make me very ill, for a first couple of months I took individual vitamins throuhgout the day to prevent getting sick. After that I ask my doctor to test my levels and everything was great. The doctor gave me clearence to stop taking most of the vitamins only if I had my levels checked monthly. I have and everything is fine. I still take B vitamins since those have always been low.
 
I didn't just do my own thing and ignore his advice. We made a plan and I followed through.
 
My opinion, again this is MY OPINION, if you are not going to follow doctors orders then don't spend the money and waste the time to have surgery.
 
If you are not willing to commit totally to what it takes to be successful with WLS don't do it. It may be that you aren't ready right now, but in time you will be.

As you may have seen Someone posted that to me today.... Stop preaching.
 
 
I really thought about it and decided that if my preaching about.... be good to the band and it will be good to you....helps one person out... Its worth having someone tell me to stop preaching.
 
So I am not stopping. I will shout it from the rooftops... I love my band and my band loves me because I treat it with respect and dedication... If it chooses to fail me down the road it won't be from my doing...and I will just deal with it when the time comes. In the meantime the band and my effort gave me a thin healthy outlook on life and I plan on singing it's praises forever....

It is important for me to share my journey with others. I will be honest about what I am feeling so that new people or people thinking about getting banded can have an honest view point. I believe most people are this way but there are also some trolls out there with weird agendas that want to scare people. There will be ups and downs as with anything, I am sure. It is my goal to honestly portray what it is like to be banded.
 
I am 34 years old with a start weight of 305. I have a large blended family. Between my husband and I we have 6 children and a very busy life.
I am 8 days post op today. My surgery included a hernia repair, lapband and plication. My band was not "primed" at time of surgery. My first fill is scheduled for 6 weeks post op.
 
To be quite honest, I am one of those people who don't do well with any pain meds. They knock me out and generally make me groggy. That is what happened this week. Not only was I groggy but I experienced discomfort like never before in my life. This was me being unprepared as I have never had major surgery before. The gas pains alone threw me. They are not your standard gas pain. Until you have it you really won't know what people mean when they are talking about the gas. When you have your band do what everyone says and walk, walk, walk. The first three days after surgery, I was happiest when walking. Working out the gas pressure is a relief!
 
My relationship with food this week has been an emotional roller coaster. In the beginning of the week, I felt like I had lost a dear friend. I am still on the clear liquid part of my post op diet. It seems like every commercial on TV is about food. Food I don't even normally like looks delicious. Now, at the beginning of my second week Post OP, those commercials no longer bother me. I have accepted the stage of the diet I am on and I know that eventually I will be able to eat "real food" as long as I keep it healthy I WILL succeed!
 
My relationship with my husband has gotten stronger. I am 34 years old and needed help taking a shower, getting dressed and making broth for myself. He stepped up and did all of these things for me. He took the kids to school, cleaned house, and made their dinner all while holding down a job of his own. I could not have done as well this week without his loving support. When I was ready to start doing things on my own again he did not smother me. He is letting me take control back one step at a time, as I am ready. I am truly blessed to have him in my life. I hope everyone can find support in this journey as I have.
 
I have had a lot of time to think this week. I took a long hard look at myself and have decided I will not fail my band. Notice I did not say the band will not fail me. I will not fail the band because I have made a decision to follow doctor's orders, to be honest with myself and to let my support system help me. I made the decision to take this step in my life for my health. Let's be honest here.. I also have dreams of feeling sexy again. I am 34 not 90. It is up to me to see that this tool helps me reach my goal. I believe with all my heart personal responsibility needs to be a big part of the healing process.
 
So flash forward to post op day 8. I feel fantastic today! I have no more pain. I have not had to take my pain meds for two days. The gas is all gone. Food commercials no longer bother me. I am not weak or groggy anymore.
 
So I promised in my title two NSV's (non scale victories) and one SV (scale victory). So already I am encouraged by progress.
My first and a very important NSV is I was able to get my wedding rings back on. Not only are they on but they are comfortable and no longer cutting into my fingers! As I was heartbroken and sorely disappointed in myself when I had to take them off, I am overjoyed to wear them again. My husband is also very proud I am wearing his rings again.
The second and also very important NSV.. I was able to sleep in my own bed last night! This was the first time in 10 years I have had to sleep apart from my husband when in the same house. We have never let a fight make one of us sleep on the couch. I spent the entire last week in my recliner because it was the only comfortable spot to sleep. I am so HAPPY to be back in my own bed.
 
And drum roll please... My scale victory... As of this morning I am down to 289 from 305lbs. 16 lbs lost! I have not seen the scale move backwards in years and never has it moved 16lbs! I can do this. If you are a new person with doubts and questions.. YOU can do this if you want to. Do research. When you think you have done enough.. do some more. It is not easy. Oh boy is it not the easy way out.. It is a tool for you to use.
If you want success, reach out and grab it. It is there for you. Remember success comes with bumps in the road. These are just things we all have to get through. It is part of life.
 
I am sure I will have ups and downs. Lets be realistic. Of course there will be ups and downs. I will share as many of these as I can that I feel people considering this journey should hear. If something goes wrong (unlikely), I will be honest about it and what caused it. I will share the victories as well.
 
Thank you for reading my first blog. I wish you all success in your own journeys no matter what road they take. I am happy to answer any questions I can if you have any. =)

I got a fill last Tuesday of .5 cc to give me a total of aroud 7cc. Last week was normal didn't really feel much extra restriction. This week- wowser!
 
Yesterday the restriction kicked in and I think I had the best band day ever (food wise)
day started with 20 oz of water
1 cup of coffee (black)
1 cup of Special K with 1/2 cup 2% milk (breakfast)
Smart Ones Four Cheese Pizza (lunch)
3oz chop steak 1/2 cup scalloped potatos (didn't eat it all)
 
No snacks!!!
 
I stayed satisfied all day long with no snacks. Yesterday was the hubs B-day and he requested seasoned chopsteak and homemade scalloped potatos, so this was what we had. The chop steaks are 3 oz each. Preband I would eat 2 plus 2 sides and still have room, not now! I eat about 3 bites of steak and 2 bites of potatos and full! I thought WTH, wow, I am full on no more than that!! So I pack the remainder in a tupperware bowl for lunch today. I didn't get hungery later in the evening, I just felt good.
 
I am loving this new found freedom from food. I like getting my fill on so much less- it's rush.

I think I have a clot in my nose... if I take a picture can you tell me what you think I should do?
 
Also, I ate chips and salsa in my post-op phase, do you think I hurt my band?
 
Can you tell me what to eat?
 
Why is my cat losing more weight than me... We eat the same diet?
 
OMG PEOPLE... GET SERIOUS. This is not a game. I get so depressed reading this crap! I think I will take a mini vacation. I need a tranquilizer to keep this crap from driving me insane.
 
Do these people think we are not working our butts off to do this? Who the F U C K told them it would be easy?
 
Rant off... sorry having a bad morning... hope yours is better!

I have not posted in a few weeks and have been reading many of the posts regarding the same questions and the tone of some of the answers.
I work in the medical field and researched the band for 2 years and went to all of my preop classes etc... I was fully aware before surgery that the band is only a tool. The best way of thinking about it for me is the band holds me accountable to myself and what I eat!!! It is a tool only ,I have done the work so far. My loss has been very slow but I feel 100% better. I feel the first mistake some make is thinking the band is a cure and an easy way out. I have been stuck for 3 weeks now but will not let that stop me. I was banded 11-8-12 have had 2 fills. At my last fill the NP told me "you get it, you really get it"!!! Its only a tool, they cure for obesity comes from within and the desire to for once in my life do something for me and to become more healthy and active. I don't need to lose as much as some but the battle is the same. For those of you that have met your goal, you are an inspiration to me and gives me hope that I can do this with the HELP of my band. I do no rely on the band but always know its there. I have lost 21 pounds with 30 to go and its any every day decision but the band always reminds me how much and what I can and cannot eat. Looking forward to the green zone and until then I just keep doing the best I can. Not sure why I felt the need to write this but hope this help someone the way others on this post has helped me the last few months. By the way I am a 51 yr old grandmother raising grandkids the works full time so believe me I know the stress of everyday life and how I turn to food for comfort. No more thanks to my lap band, accountablity tool

I am watching Wendy Williams and Lisa Lampanelli is on about her sleeve surgery. She is down 102. She wore a size 24 and now is around a 6!! Good for her. She had the surgery in April, I think. She looks great. She said she felt the sleeve was better than the band at her age, 51. I am 62. They keeping bleeping her language. Lisa is saying that it is a tool and you have to work with it. Her husband had the sleeve a few months after her. Good for them. She is very funny and crude but that is what I love about her. She is saying her sex life is better and the stomachs can now touch.
We all need people like Lisa to tell the world that surgery is a helper/tool for all of us.
Thank you, Lisa.

I never thought I would find that question so offensive. I am guilty of asking such a question when I was younger to my own Sister. I do believe people have no malicious intent when they ask such a question but yet it can come off so offensive. My Wife and I have tried for three years to get pregnant with no luck. We both went through extensive testing and seen numerous specialists. It was determined I was the problem. I was not producing viable sperm. I under went Surgery last February to determine if I had a blockage and to see if they could extract viable samples to be used in conjunction with IVF. They got a little and we had it frozen until such a time we could move forward with the IVF. We were warned by both my Doctor and My Wife's that we should be prepared for back up options such as a donor as they had little to work with. My wife and I decided donor was not something we wanted. If we could not have them biologically then maybe we would consider possible adoption down the road.
 
My surgery was in February of 2012 and the IVF cycle was in May. Even though we were told the odds were not favorable but yet possible we had very high hopes and less than 24 hours later after the IVF cycle our world came crashing to a halt as we were notified it didn't work. We both cried for two days and I personally took it harder than I expected I ever would. I guess part of it is because even though I did nothing wrong I felt like I failed us both.
 
Now 8 months later we talk about it less but the memories are fresh. I still blame myself and haven't really moved on. This past weekend we were visiting my Wife's cousin who has 16 month old twins who we simply adore and love to spend time with. My Wife posted the below picture on facebook which lead to a lot of "When are you going to have babies of your own?"

 
Naturally, it is our own fault for posting the picture but I cannot help but be annoyed. One of the people who asked is an Aunt who does not have kids herself due to medical complications. One would think she would've been more tactful.
 
 
Next time you consider asking someone when they are going to have kids take a moment to consider that there maybe more to the story and that it could be a sensitive subject!! I guess this is my payback for asking my Sister and Brother in law many years ago. I am however a proud Uncle of a 22 and 15 year old!

It's hard to really measure you success on this journey- there are so many things you can look at....
Scale number going down
Clothing getting to big
Eating less calories
Exercising More
Being able to move better
Breathing Better
Lower BP or Glucose levels
Feeling better
 
These are all ways that we can measure our success, but the one I think we all tend to harp on is the almighty scale. After all, at the doctor's office your scale number is what tell your doctor if you are obese or not. I am the worlds worst about getting hung up on a scale number.
 
When I went for a check up in Dec I was only 2 lbs down from my last visit so I was bumed. Yesterday I went it, I had lost 7 lbs since I was last there, so of course I felt great. I am excited, yet no matter if I lose 2 lbs or 7 in a month I always wish it were more.
 
I am a member of the instant gradification society, not that I want to be. I wish we could see the results we want to see quicker, but we must wait and take it one step at a time.
 
Besides my scales number going from 247 (highest) to 195 what else has been a postive effect:
My BP is totally normal again
My asthma is almost non exsistant
I am able to move better (even run- oh my)
I am no longer in a 22 I am in a 16 petite or a 14 Women's Petite
 
I know I am being successful, but there are days when I compare myself to others and feel I am not what I should be because I am not doing the same as them. We have some amazing people on this site who are and have rocked this they are losing and keeping a positve attitude. Some choose to go carb less, some opt to do couch to 5k, some don't excercise at all, some do this some do that. Each time I read about someone elses "way" I think well I'm not doing this right, I need to do what they are doing.
 
But....Have a lost weight? Yes Am I healthier? Yes
So why do I feel the need to change?
 
Each of us are different, each of us have had our own addiction to food (some love bread, some sweets, some soda, some salt, ect) We all have our down fall, and we all have to deal with that in our own way. We have to find a balance in us for what works now and what will work forever.
 
Our goal is forever weight loss right? So each of us has to figure out what we are going to be able to do now and forever. For me I know I am not going to exercise like a maniac, but I know I need some, so I make an effort to hit the elliptical 4 days a week - this is something that I can manage long term- but no way could I do it every day (well I could, but I know I won't) I am a carb lover and I know I would never give up carbs long term so I keep carbs in my menu, but I just eat less of them. I love pizza, but instead of eating 4 slices I eat 1 and am happy. I only eat desserts on special occassions, this isn't a big deal to me, I am fine without; so on my birthday or Christmas I will enjoy, but I won't make them weekly.
 
Bottom line is, I, Kim must make changes that I can and will be able to maintain for the rest of my life. This like a marriage- I am married to my band till death do us part. I will not get a divorce from it so I must do my part to keep our relationship happy and healthy. For each of you out there you must find your way and I can't tell you what that is. You may have a trigger food that would cause you to binge so you need to stay away from it. You may be able to toss carbs to the side forever, if you can more power to you and bow down!!
 
Just find what works for you. If you are loosing steadily then you do not have to stress about what others are doing and that you should do the same. This is something I have got to work on. I am me and my way is working so I am going to do my best to own and work it and work my weight down to goal.
 
So what is your measure of success?

Like many others i am sure.... I get a lot of PMs from people at different stages of their journey asking how they can be as successful as I have been, what were my challenges, what do I eat etc....... And I answer each and every question. A handful of people, write back thanking me or expressing their concerns, frustrations etc....But I really am not sure why most of the others actually do not... I offer my opinions, answer their questions and give them the what worked for me speech... And then I never hear from them again. Not even a thanks for taking the time to answer me...
 
I am not expecting life long pen pals and i I am greatful when Someone actually acknowledges my repy... But for someone to take the time to write, m to take the time to answer I am baffled as to why they don't acknowledge my answer.
 
Just another thing to make you go hmmmmm
 
 

Is my band too tight? How many times do we see this question? A lot so let’s talk about it.
 
How tight you have your band is a personal preference. No one (including your doctor) can tell you how tight it has to be. This is something you have to decide for yourself. Personally my band is loose. The last time I had an x-ray my doctor commented that I didn’t have very much restriction. Oh well, it is what works for me.
 
I have had 2 unfills because I felt my band was too tight, but I know now that it wasn’t. So how do I know if my band is too tight? I ask myself these questions:
 
1. Can I get water/liquids down okay? If YES not too tight
 
2. Are my bites the size of a nickel or smaller? If NO not too tight
 
3. Do I chew my food at least 30 times before swallowing? If NO not too tight
 
4. Do I wait 1 minute between bites? If No not too tight
 
It appears that my eating habits cause me to think my band is too tight. When I eat correctly I have no problems.
 
My advice to anyone wondering if their band is too tight is, evaluate your eating by asking yourself my four questions.

I posted tummy tuck before and after in my gallery and hopefully on this blog....... granted its only been less than 48 hours but even with the swelling you get the general idea.... I am not brave enough to post the "girls"... until i can figure out how to cover up the personal parts..... but they look marvelous!

I have been having difficulties with my eating for about a week, I blogged about my lunch episode on Friday. When I say difficulties I mean, I’ve been getting acid reflex (first time since being banded) and I get a lump in my throat from time to time. I have been able to eat and drink, but it’s been more challenging.
 
Over the weekend I decided I needed to see my doctor and find out what was going on. Either I am being paranoid or something isn’t right.
 
So, I was on the phone to my doctor’s office first thing this morning and fortunately they could squeeze me in this morning.
 
Upon arriving I was escorted to the x-ray room. Martha (the x-ray tech and support group leader, who is also banded) said, “What are you doing here girl?”
“I’m either paranoid or something isn’t right”, she laughed and said let’s find out.
 
We did a barium swallow and as my doctor said, “It looks perfect.”
 
“So, I am paranoid?”
 
“No, you are aware of your band and something changed.”
 
“So what am I doing wrong? Why the acid reflex now?”
 
“Could be you irritated your band in some way or it could be that you need a fresher on the basics. Size of your bit, how much you chew, time between bits. Maybe you need to get that egg timer back out that we gave you at your first post op visit.”
 
“Funny, just last night at dinner my husband had to tell me to slow down on my bits.”
 
We talked a little more and I was on my way feeling so much better. End result is something wasn’t right and that something was me. I was slipping back into old habits.
 
It’s time to dust off that egg timer, cut my bits smaller and chew, chew, chew. Everything I tell newbies to do.

At work today I overheard two coworkers talking. They were talking about ME and my weight loss. Now these two ladies are quite overweight themselves. Just saying so you get the picture…
 
“I can’t believe her” “She is always bragging about it to everyone who walks by”
 
I casually walk over to them.
 
“Ladies I couldn't help but hear you talking about my weight loss. I have lost a lot of weight over the last 9 months and people notice that. Often people will ask me what’s your secrete? or How did you do it? When they ask I tell them my story, and if telling my story is bragging then guilty as charged!”
 
I then turned and walked away with my head held high and a big huge smile on my face.
 
Now I happened to be wearing my new fuchsia pink skinny pants and my grey high heal boots that hubby said made me look sexy! (Fashion note)
 
I though should I be pissed? Nah, I’m happy!!!
 
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands (clap clap)
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands (clap clap)
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. (clap clap)

Judgment sucks!!
 
I think we all have felt we are always judged reguarding out weight. My issues started when my doctor as a kid was a health nut and was always telling me I was a fatty. I would go in with step throat and he would spend the entire time harping on my weight. Bottom line is - we feel judged at work, in stores and at resturants for out weight. Sometimes I think we are judged, but sometimes I think it's just our own negitive feelings toward ourselves.
 
Today I was reading some blogs and post that talked about WLS. In some of them I felt judged because of how hard core people are. However, are they really talking to me or are they just talking about themselves?
 
All of choose WLS for a particular reason and we are either being successful or not. Here is the kicker - success doesn't come the same for everyone!! Some people preach a certain way- no carb, low carb, certain exercises, calorie counting, weighing daily, not weighing at home at all, ect.
 
I have found success in counting calories and doing cardio with light weight training. I still eat carbs and foods I love just less of them. I have lost 43 lbs in a little over 4 months. I think that is successful considering I started at 244. My percentage of weight loss is better, according to my doctor, than many at my same place. This is what has worked for me, will it work for you, I have no idea, maybe, maybe not.
 
I refuse to judge people- whatever way you find success I say AWESOME- keep it up. Also, share what made you a success- some will find your way works for them, some will find my way works. We are all different and if we reap different success ideas from people we can build our own success plan.
 
Also, if you are having a bad day and need to whine or b#@$#, or complain do it. I am willing to listen because unless you are lying to yourself or unless you are on drugs you occasionally have a bad day and need to vent to someone. While I am being successful there are days when I get down in the dumps and worry or stress and I NEED people to be understanding instead of saying shut the h@@@ up and either do what your suppose to or not. While yes, I need to stick to my success plan I also need compassion and not judgement.
 
Now if you are complaining every day that the band is not working and you are downing milkshakes like water then you don't have anyone to blame, but yourself. And you need to be told that.
 
This site has been both positive and negitive in my life- I have found support and also found judgement. Sometimes I seek advise or hope that some will comment to something I have said and I get nothing and yes I feel ignored when there are others out there with their band buddies who get lots of comments and support. However, is that just me feeling due to my self impression that people are excluding me.
 
I must learn to be my judge and advocate and cheerleader. I need to look at myself realistically and kick myself in the butt when I need it and also give myself a pat on the back when I deserve it.
 
Today I am choosing to not look to others for affirmation or pats on the back, but look to myself. I must learn to find joy in my success and find answers in my failures.

I ran into my patient advocate, Paul, at True Results today. The patient advocate is the first person you meet with and they walk you through all the pre-op stuff. Once you have the surgery you don’t see the patient advocate. Anyway, I ran into Paul and he about fell over when he saw me. (btw, Paul has been banded for 7 years – lost 120lbs)
 
We sat down and chatted a bit. He said he remembers our first meeting and how I cried because I was so unhappy. And now I glow (his words). He said not only do I look great from the weight loss but my face glows with happiness. He said I was a walking Lap-band billboard. Me? Wow.
 
It was so cool hearing that. I just had to share it. Now I just have to figure out how I’m going to get this big head through the doorway. lol

My name is AJ and I’m a scale-a-holic.
 
I have lied to my LBT friends, it wasn’t intentional… I don’t know how it got so out of control.
 
You see in the beginning I only weigh myself once a week, but back then I was seeing my doctor every week or two. Now I go every 4-6 weeks and that will get stretched out more. When I weigh in at my doctor’s office, that is my ‘official’ weight, I update my profile based on that. So when I weigh at home it doesn’t officially count….
 
Like I said I started weighting once a week, I even had a set day (Sunday morning). Then I started ‘just checking’ on Wednesdays, then Fridays too and before I knew it I was weighting every day. Then it was twice a day, once in the morning & once in the evening (just to see if there was a difference). It wasn’t my ‘official weight’ so what harm is there…..
 
Well my scale died last night. Yep after ten plus years it went kaput. My beloved scale was no more. Panic set in, how am I going to weigh myself in the morning? Where can I get a new scale and fast….
 
Boy was I in a panic! I searched on line all evening, need to find a good scale and fast. Thankfully, I go to the doctors tomorrow and will get an ‘official’ weight.
 
But in the mean time I realize that I have an addiction that I need to manage. The first step in the detoxing is cold turkey. I found the scale I want on Amazon, ordered it & selected Super Saving Shipping (It wound get here till next week). Next, if I have to I’ll have my husband lock it up….hopefully that won’t be necessary. lol

I get asked this question all the time; How were you able to lose weight with Lap Band? Simple I followed the rules!
 
I read on this web site all the time about every one hoping to get restriction and frustrated because their band is not tight enough, worried that they need more restriction. Well bandsters, the band and our weight loss is not about restriction, that is not the purpose of the band. The purpose is to slow down your eating so you eat less and become satisfied sooner. So if you are new or struggling, read below. I have lived by the rules of lapband throughout my 2 year journey. It has not always been easy and yes there were times I was hungry. This is not easy, it is a very emotional and personal journey. No two people react to the band alike and you have to have a lot of will power and want power. If you are on this site and had surgery, I know you have tried everything else and our now hoping the band is the answer to your prayers. Well it can be but it can also be the beginning of your nightmares if you do not make healthy choices. You and only you can make the band work and the sooner you figure this out the more successful you will be. I am now in my maintenance phase of this journey and living happy with lapband. I have worked hard and continue to work hard to make healthy choices to sustain everything I have worked hard to achieve. Is is easy no, but it gets easier everyday. You can be successful with lapband but you have to follow the rules. You have to become knowledgeable about the band and how it works. You have to deal with your behavioral issues surrounding food and you have to modify your behavior. If you do not do these things, you may lose weight but research has proved that successful WLS patients modify behavior. Below is an article from another site I wanted to share for all of you who are new and for those that are struggling and of course a reminder for us that have been successful.
 
Good luck and success to all new and old, LovetheNewMe!
 
EDIT/Addition added after original post:
Just to give credit where credit is due this post came from Dr. Simpson's web site. This was a site I found very early in my band journey and have referenced it many times. It taught me things about the band that I was not aware of, it also is the site that helped me lose my last 30 lbs. this is the web address, check it out. He is one MD who coaches his patients that they can lose all of their weight. I read his book , "Losing the Last 30lbs" and it was very helpful. http://drsimpson.net/index.htm
 
 
Weight loss surgery works by decreasing appetite-allowing people to eat less and utilize their fat stores more efficiently. What successful weight loss surgery DOES NOT stop you from eating anything.
Whenever a patient says they don’t “feel restricted” it means they want the operation to do something that they won’t do for themselves. In this case, they want the operation to keep them from eating too much, or eating something. Successful patients DO NOT describe appetite suppression in that manner.
This became clear when several groups showed that food remains above a well adjusted band for only a minute or less, not longer. It is not that the band keeps food from going through it - -it is the act of food going through the band that allows the satiety mechanism to go into effect. The study was simple – take a patient who is losing weight, and feels their band is at a good point. Give them food that they say satisfies them for a long time, and label the food with something we can see on an x-ray.
We were shocked, and others repeated this experiment. But, then it all made sense. Whether they have a band, a bypass, a sleeve, or a DS – all of the operations allow a smaller amount of food to provide appetite suppression. Without that, appetite suppression does not occur.
This is revolutionary in all aspects of patients – it is not “restrictive,” and having the band tight is not helpful. The bottom line is simple: solid food, slowly eaten, provides prolonged appetite suppression. This can be all overcome by: eating too fast (for band patients this leads to esophageal dilation, erosion, or slips or by drinking liquid calories, or soft food.
What works for our patients who have had long term success:

Measuring the food they eat
Not depending on the band to tell them when to stop
Not depending on the band to tell them when they are too full

The Lap-band will NOT tell you when you are “full”
 
The band will NOT stop you from eating “more” food
 
 
 
So the latest revolution in weight loss is not in a new tool, it is in those four simple words that will keep your tool sharp: eat small portions slowly.

It is in our human nature to compare one thing to the other. We do it from the time we are kids- remember with siblings- he got more than me thing. We start compairing early.
 
By the time we reach school age we are compairing clothes, looks, ect with our classmates. And you always hear he's/she's not as cute as xyz. Then we begin compairing ourselves to others- her hair is prettier than mine, she has more friends than me, she has nicer clothes, ect. Our self esteems are molded some what by these compairsons.
 
I know for certian mine were. I have always felt like the ugly duckling. I have been large since 5 years old. In school I was picked on and it got worse in middle school. I hated being fat, but all that hate just drove me to the nearest donut, which intern made me fater.
 
Now that I am taking control of my life and have had lapband and am losing weight, the compairsons do not end. Chances are all of us have compared our self to another member of this forum- either boy I am glad I am not them they aren't losing much weight- or - it's not fair she is losing more weight than me. It's just in our nature.
 
I have compared myself to others several times and gotten down and out. Some people are really rocking it.
 
I talked to my nutritionist about this and she had some great throughts.
1- Body weight percentage has to been taken into account- those with more to lose will lose quicker.
2- Life style - some people have jobs that are more active than others and we can't control that- most of us need to work and have to do what we do. Some people can't due to health reason work out where others can.
3- Muscle mass- some people scale wise appear to not be losing, but are losing fat because they are working out and building muscle that weighes more than fat- this is a great thing because the more muscle you have the more fat your burn.
4- responsiblity- it is sometimes our own fault when we aren't losing- we CHOOSE to eat high calorie foods that just slide down, we CHOOSE not to be active, we CHOOSE not to follow doctors orders
 
This conversation with my nutritionist made me feel better. She said that when I compair myself to another person I need to look at these things. If I am doing everything I am suppose to do then I have no need to belittle myself. The bottom line is at the end of each month the scale trend in going down, therefore I am successful for me!
 
I hope that I can stop compairing myself to others, but if I happen to I will take these things into account before I let the bad thoughts drive me to a mouth full of krispy creme.

"You're only nineteen."
"You don't need to have surgery."
"Losing weight isn't impossible. If I can do it, anyone can."
"How is it even possible to not lose weight."  
Sometimes not everyone understands another's decisions. Which is totally rational. Not one person has gone through the same thing as another. In my eyes that gives no one person grounds to judge another person on their decisions.
 
I am nineteen. This is true. But what makes my surgery so much more taboo than another person's surgery? What makes my surgery different that a girl my age getting a boob job, or a nose job? I can't do something to benefit my health, and my over all apperance? To create something better for myself; No matter what the cost.
 
I understand why people believe I shouldn't get this surgery. I get it. I'm young. But the great thing is that I am having a procedure done, early on in my life, that will teach me about the lifestyle change I have to make. In order for me to live a healthy, happy life I believe that I need to have this done. Not only because I know I will be more confident, but I will be able to step away from being a prediabetic as well as my sleep apnea.
 
I used to dream, as a little girl, of what it would be like to feel pretty. To be comfortable. To walk around in my own skin and not feel like I was disgusting. Somedays I didn't want to leave the house. I felt repulsive. I felt like it would be better for the world, and myself if I just didn't go to class that day. No one would have to look at me, and I wouldn't have to look at everyone else...looking at me. For whatever reason. I know that this deicision is the best thing I could do for myself. I know that because I am young, I can change my whole life because of this. And I'm excited for it. I am excited for the new me. I deserve it.
 
My surgery date is October 10, 2012.
I am so unbelieveably excited to start my life.