mambomama

Today I am back on the blog after four years! I lost a total of 87 pounds and about 2/3 of that weight came off after the gastric sleeve in 2012.  i wanted to give an update, a cautionary tale and maybe a not-so-depressing perspective of one who has not been a weight loss success.  
Busyness and stress has always been my enemy when it comes to weight loss.  It often takes me by surprise and whisks away any structure and success I have built into my life.  One day I am doing well and eating and exercising and then BAM! It all goes out the window.  Even my house gets messy and cluttered during those times of extreme stress and time pressure.  I work a job that is not just 9-5 so I take much of my work home, I work from home often and get extreme deadlines like grant applications etc.  
Before I initially lost weight before surgery, was a very busy time, but I put the accountability of a structured weight loss program into my schedule.  This is the only way I initially lost 30 pounds at the beginning.  I also started working out with a trainer. Although it is the cost of a vacation every year, I need it to be successful.
When I had the weight loss surgery, I had quit my stressful administrative job and was in a window of time less busy (even though I was working).  All went well with my weight loss after surgery (even though  slow as was my history of weight loss) until I started a new job.  Once the stress of the job was getting to me, I stopped the morning walks and began to eat more frequently and less clean.  A bad case of pneumonia and 40 days of steriods, further put me back and I gained weight. Now,  I am facing some serious foot pain from plantar fascitis, nothelped by weight gain.
All this downhill trend happened as my career has blossomed.  However, if truth be told, I prefer a healthy body to work success.  
Looking back, I am humbled by the setback and have felt moments of panic.  However, something in me has shifted as I ponder my failure.  All in all, I am still down over 50 pounds from my initial weight (228 from 282).  Although the failure of weight gain from 194 hits me in the face, I have come to a gentler self-assessment and I like myself better than ever.  I can now look in the mirror and feel okay about my curves.  I lost a bit from my highest weight regain (240) although it has taken a year to take off.  
So, all this to say, count your blessing and jump back in.  Love yourself in the process and never give up.  If I had given up, I would easily be 300 pounds.  I am now concentrating on getting back to the losing mode and it is workomg...slowly.  Limiting to 3 small meals and 2 small snacks if needed, drinking a lot but separating from food, doing some exercise every day and finding joy in the process. For me, finding joy includes time with my loved ones and having quiet time as I pursue God in my life...I am even going back to some ballroom dance classes.  Dance on everyone!
I wish the best for all of you!  Tell me your story...I love to read them.
 

It is hard to imagine that 1 year ago this month, I had the VSG surgery procedure. I remember the agony of finally deciding to have the surgery after years of saying, "Never", then having to wait those several months to wait for surgery. Now looking back, I do see value in all those hurdles I had to jump! It has been a relatively easy time this year. My loss has been very slow compared to many others, but I have always been the slow loser! I have had 2 significant stalls during this year. The first one lasted almost a month and was 6 months after surgery. The second stall was almost 2 months and lasted from November to january. I started getting panicky, so I went on structured plan to make sure I am not overeating without realizing. I also cut out all carbs except fruit (2 per day). I am eating mostly lean meats and lots of low-carb veggies. Now my total loss is 87 pounds, 57 of which came after the surgery. One can see that i averaged about 1 pound a week this first year. I won't be winning any weight loss awards, but to have lost this much is a miracle and a true gift!
 
For those of you who, like me, struggle with metabolic and endocrine issues such as thyroid, PCOS, diabetes, I do have some advice. It may or not apply and I hestitate to claim any knowledge, but here goes:
 
1) No matter what your weight, start working on fitness. I started 7 years ago, exercising 20 minutes twice weekly. At 282 pounds, it nearly killed me. I would literally climb into bed EVERY day after exercise and go back to sleep. I was so exhausted that I could not stay up on my feet. It took everything I had to get out of bed in the morning to exercise, but I did it for the fight of my life. I gradually increased my exercise over then next four years. I was still gaining weight, but I was plugging along. Now looking back, I can see the wisdom in the exercise. My core is strong, my muscles and spine are healthy and strong for my age. My coordination is good and my exercise recovery is so much better. Now, my exercise schedule is as follows:
M, W, F - 6am walking partner for 50 minutes (about 3 miles)
T, R - some cardio, but mostly resistance, core and balance training
In between, I take a zumba or circuit class once or twice a week and I dance on the weekends with my hubby once in a while.
 
2) Start looking inside! I journal, and now looking back it is helpful to see how much healthier I am inside and out. Journaling for me is a conversation to God. It leads me to God and helps sort out my thoughts. I also listen and write down things I sense that maybe God wants for me. It is a very deep and sweet place some days, light and superficial others, and agonizing once in a while. I use scripture along with this for my meditation and I am blessed in a deep place as a result.
 
3) Face your fears- I am facing my fears, my insecurities and my failings. Facinig my fears was so important for my success. For me, that meant taking swim lessons. I actually dove head-first finally, and cried when I did it because it was such a barrier to me. I am also teaching some kids spanish, and this is forcing me to tackle a very insecure place in my life. I left south America at age 11 and was very sad about it. I stopped speaking spanish and began to feel insecure to talk to others in spanish. It started with lessons and now I am helping others.
 
4) Face your failings and forgive yourself and others - Facing my failings has also been important and this journey has taken me to some uncomfortable places. Sometimes it meant being honest with myself and my food. Sometimes it meant looking at a specific event where I made a poor choice in a relationship, or responded poorly to others. It has even meant dealing with unforgiveness of myself and others. In one situation, someone slandered me very painfully and unfairly. I held on to the unforgiveness because my reputation mattered to me. It was 2 years later that I finally went to this person to ask her what I did that led to this situation. She told me there were "Lots" of things,but could not think of anything specific right then (she said I should have given her time to thinkabout it). At that moment, I was given a release from the torment of the situation. I was able to forgive her, and ask her to forgive me for whatever it was that led her to slander me. It was like a ton of weight was lifted from me.
 
5. Be honest about your food.
6. Find a good practitioner. Find a practitioner who understands the complexities of dysmetabolic syndrome, HPA axis disorders (hypothalmus, pituitary, adrenal), and has holistic approach to healing.
7. Reward yourself!

It is hard to imagine that 1 year ago this month, I had the VSG surgery procedure. I remember the agony of finally deciding to have the surgery after years of saying, "Never", then having to wait those several months to wait for surgery. Now looking back, I do see value in all those hurdles I had to jump! It has been a relatively easy time this year. My loss has been very slow compared to many others, but I have always been the slow loser! I have had 2 significant stalls during this year. The first one lasted almost a month and was 6 months after surgery. The second stall was almost 2 months and lasted from November to january. I started getting panicky, so I went on structured plan to make sure I am not overeating without realizing. I also cut out all carbs except fruit (2 per day). I am eating mostly lean meats and lots of low-carb veggies. Now my total loss is 87 pounds, 57 of which came after the surgery. One can see that i averaged about 1 pound a week this first year. I won't be winning any weight loss awards, but to have lost this much is a miracle and a true gift!
 
For those of you who, like me, struggle with metabolic and endocrine issues such as thyroid, PCOS, diabetes, I do have some advice. It may or not apply and I hestitate to claim any knowledge, but here goes:
 
1) No matter what your weight, start working on fitness. I started 7 years ago, exercising 20 minutes twice weekly. At 282 pounds, it nearly killed me. I would literally climb into bed EVERY day after exercise and go back to sleep. I was so exhausted that I could not stay up on my feet. It took everything I had to get out of bed in the morning to exercise, but I did it for the fight of my life. I gradually increased my exercise over then next four years. I was still gaining weight, but I was plugging along. Now looking back, I can see the wisdom in the exercise. My core is strong, my muscles and spine are healthy and strong for my age. My coordination is good and my exercise recovery is so much better. Now, my exercise schedule is as follows:
M, W, F - 6am walking partner for 50 minutes (about 3 miles)
T, R - some cardio, but mostly resistance, core and balance training
In between, I take a zumba or circuit class once or twice a week and I dance on the weekends with my hubby once in a while.
 
2) Start looking inside! I journal, and now looking back it is helpful to see how much healthier I am inside and out. Journaling for me is a conversation to God. It leads me to God and helps sort out my thoughts. I also listen and write down things I sense that maybe God wants for me. It is a very deep and sweet place some days, light and superficial others, and agonizing once in a while. I use scripture along with this for my meditation and I am blessed in a deep place as a result.
 
3) Face your fears- I am facing my fears, my insecurities and my failings. Facinig my fears was so important for my success. For me, that meant taking swim lessons. I actually dove head-first finally, and cried when I did it because it was such a barrier to me. I am also teaching some kids spanish, and this is forcing me to tackle a very insecure place in my life. I left south America at age 11 and was very sad about it. I stopped speaking spanish and began to feel insecure to talk to others in spanish. It started with lessons and now I am helping others.
 
4) Face your failings and forgive yourself and others - Facing my failings has also been important and this journey has taken me to some uncomfortable places. Sometimes it meant being honest with myself and my food. Sometimes it meant looking at a specific event where I made a poor choice in a relationship, or responded poorly to others. It has even meant dealing with unforgiveness of myself and others. In one situation, someone slandered me very painfully and unfairly. I held on to the unforgiveness because my reputation mattered to me. It was 2 years later that I finally went to this person to ask her what I did that led to this situation. She told me there were "Lots" of things,but could not think of anything specific right then (she said I should have given her time to thinkabout it). At that moment, I was given a release from the torment of the situation. I was able to forgive her, and ask her to forgive me for whatever it was that led her to slander me. It was like a ton of weight was lifted from me.
 
5. Be honest about your food.
6. Find a good practitioner. Find a practitioner who understands the complexities of dysmetabolic syndrome, HPA axis disorders (hypothalmus, pituitary, adrenal), and has holistic approach to healing.
7. Reward yourself!

It is hard to imagine that 1 year ago this month, I had the VSG surgery procedure. I remember the agony of finally deciding to have the surgery after years of saying, "Never", then having to wait those several months to wait for surgery. Now looking back, I do see value in all those hurdles I had to jump! It has been a relatively easy time this year. My loss has been very slow compared to many others, but I have always been the slow loser! I have had 2 significant stalls during this year. The first one lasted almost a month and was 6 months after surgery. The second stall was almost 2 months and lasted from November to january. I started getting panicky, so I went on structured plan to make sure I am not overeating without realizing. I also cut out all carbs except fruit (2 per day). I am eating mostly lean meats and lots of low-carb veggies. Now my total loss is 87 pounds, 57 of which came after the surgery. One can see that i averaged about 1 pound a week this first year. I won't be winning any weight loss awards, but to have lost this much is a miracle and a true gift!
 
For those of you who, like me, struggle with metabolic and endocrine issues such as thyroid, PCOS, diabetes, I do have some advice. It may or not apply and I hestitate to claim any knowledge, but here goes:
 
1) No matter what your weight, start working on fitness. I started 7 years ago, exercising 20 minutes twice weekly. At 282 pounds, it nearly killed me. I would literally climb into bed EVERY day after exercise and go back to sleep. I was so exhausted that I could not stay up on my feet. It took everything I had to get out of bed in the morning to exercise, but I did it for the fight of my life. I gradually increased my exercise over then next four years. I was still gaining weight, but I was plugging along. Now looking back, I can see the wisdom in the exercise. My core is strong, my muscles and spine are healthy and strong for my age. My coordination is good and my exercise recovery is so much better. Now, my exercise schedule is as follows:
M, W, F - 6am walking partner for 50 minutes (about 3 miles)
T, R - some cardio, but mostly resistance, core and balance training
In between, I take a zumba or circuit class once or twice a week and I dance on the weekends with my hubby once in a while.
 
2) Start looking inside! I journal, and now looking back it is helpful to see how much healthier I am inside and out. Journaling for me is a conversation to God. It leads me to God and helps sort out my thoughts. I also listen and write down things I sense that maybe God wants for me. It is a very deep and sweet place some days, light and superficial others, and agonizing once in a while. I use scripture along with this for my meditation and I am blessed in a deep place as a result.
 
3) Face your fears- I am facing my fears, my insecurities and my failings. Facinig my fears was so important for my success. For me, that meant taking swim lessons. I actually dove head-first finally, and cried when I did it because it was such a barrier to me. I am also teaching some kids spanish, and this is forcing me to tackle a very insecure place in my life. I left south America at age 11 and was very sad about it. I stopped speaking spanish and began to feel insecure to talk to others in spanish. It started with lessons and now I am helping others.
 
4) Face your failings and forgive yourself and others - Facing my failings has also been important and this journey has taken me to some uncomfortable places. Sometimes it meant being honest with myself and my food. Sometimes it meant looking at a specific event where I made a poor choice in a relationship, or responded poorly to others. It has even meant dealing with unforgiveness of myself and others. In one situation, someone slandered me very painfully and unfairly. I held on to the unforgiveness because my reputation mattered to me. It was 2 years later that I finally went to this person to ask her what I did that led to this situation. She told me there were "Lots" of things,but could not think of anything specific right then (she said I should have given her time to thinkabout it). At that moment, I was given a release from the torment of the situation. I was able to forgive her, and ask her to forgive me for whatever it was that led her to slander me. It was like a ton of weight was lifted from me.
 
5. Be honest about your food.
6. Find a good practitioner. Find a practitioner who understands the complexities of dysmetabolic syndrome, HPA axis disorders (hypothalmus, pituitary, adrenal), and has holistic approach to healing.
7. Reward yourself!

Today the day.. I'v lost 50 lbs!! What a great day to be me!!