CowgirlJane

Your schedule will make dating harder too.. all the more reason to start building out a full social life that matches your lifestyle... whether you start dating right now or not.

I think this is a very good summary of the risks with the band. What I would add to it is the real risk of "pouch dialation". I think this goes back to the old way of managing the band, relying strictly on "restriction". I was banded in 2001 and it was an epic fail for me - mostly because I was still very hungry, but also because i developed all the typical complications - reflux, could only eat sliders etc. I had to have all Fluid removed by early 2003. I didn't have the band removed until 2011 though and yes I had alot of scar tissue. Luckily, no esphogus problems and my reflux went away when the band went away.

I did a couple of things to feel better... and the heavens took away a couple of pounds (water weight) over night. I mentally feel better, like stronger in myself. I also poured my guts out over something horse related that is really bothering me. Talking it through with someone (even though he was full of advice and judgement...grrr) helped me frame it in perspective. In the end, the big kahuna that is bothering me is my physical problems. My hip responded well to the injection, but i did a hike on sunday that made me sore. I wanted to cry with frustration - last summer I could have done that hike 3X in a row - no problem. It makes me feel old and disabled. It makes me feel like I did when I was obese. I actually think this is the root of my "down mood". when I think about it, i experience it as feeling lonely, but i don't actually want to be around people so it isn't really lonliness - it is more of a grieving I guess.

Take a look at this video about the longer term maintenance challenges - spoiler alert as Ann said - this has nothing to do with "stomach stretching"

I helped start a horse related meetup about 5 years ago. since then I am a member of a number of "social" meetups and they are really fun. i have never dated anyone from there, but I love getting out and dancing, or whatever with friendly, like minded people.

I would first focus on making your social life more satisfying overall. Cultivate hobbies, friendships, join a group, volunteer - do something to get yourself "out there". I think that can be a real confidence builder. As a single woman, I am much more interested in a man who has an active and interesting life.

Last year I got thinner than I really wanted to get... I am skinny assed and big on top so I look a little disproportionate when i get too small. Anyhoo..I was very upset when Ross Dress for Less didn't have shorts that fit me... until I looked in the juniors section. White House Black Market has 00 sizes, but they have such crazy vanity sizing, I am questioning whether that would be small enough for you. that is the only store I EVER fit a size 2. I am fairly sure my bone structure is a size 4 without any meat on it! ha

There is a forum for band to sleeve revisions you might want to check out. I revised 3.5 years ago, lost about half my body size and maintaining...

I went to Dr Sauceda in Oct 2013 and he was about 1/3 the price but included more care over USA based consults I did. Since I get very sick from regular anesthesia but woke up refreshed from twilight I valued it. Also, it is why he xxx an do the jumbo surgeries... I was under for 9 hours.

You have received great tips! Mine is simple. I was pretty overwhelmed, with a BMI over 50 and one "failed" WLS behind me. I revised to the sleeve in Dec 2011 and I needed to believe that success was possible for me. I identified 2-3 others on these forums with similar profiles who were further along on the process. Their successes helped me believe that it was possible for me too. Since they were similar to me (age, gender, degree of obesity) I tended to "listen" closely to their advice and experiences. A related note, on these forums, we are all experts of "one" - we know our own experiences. Sometimes advice is given on these forums that might not actually be the best thing for you. Example, people early on in the process might lose really well based on "restriction" and advise you to eat whatever you want, whenever you want. SURPRISE - long term success is not as much about restriction as you might hope....the advice to not change your eating habits might work for some, but over the long run, most of us need to eat differently, not just rely on eating less to maintain our losses. anyway, just be aware that this is a support forum, filled with great information and advice - much of it very good, but rely heavily on your NUT, surgeon, etc. too.

@@VSGAnn2014 I am 3.5 years post BAND to SLEEVE revision and that video is absolutely spot on summary of "long term" maintenance post WLS. I encourage everyone who is thinking about this to watch it!

@@VSGAnn2014 posted a link to this outstanding presentation about long term maintenance post WLS. Well worth watching to understand the topic of how things change over time. @@Rogofulm you are quite right - time for a reset. I find that I continue to "peel the onion" and discover new things, or rediscover old things that were apparently not behind me. I talk about these things publicly because i frankly have limits of how much I want to "dump" on my real life friends as none of them have gone through what all of us on this site have.... and it helps me to talk. I think it is also useful for people like yourself who are "paying attention" that this is way more than losing weight. Maintaining that loss means alot of other things besides WLS (for most of us anyway!) So, to be clear... i don't want a DQ blizzard. That is the kind of food that harmed me, it doesn't even taste that good. If I am gonna have a decadent dessert - it will be a fine dining experience, not some crap from a drive through. What I became aware of is driving by the DQ and thinking about eating a blizzard when I haven't desired that in years. A self observation - why? I think it because I am a little tired, a little fatigued and my mind is looking for something to numb my feelings. Low quality sugary treats worked in the past! So, I think I am mildly depressed because I don't feel like doing fun stuff lately. Last night I had a choice to do two different fun, active, healthy activities and I couldn't motivate myself to do either. Luckily, each day offers those types of things so there is always a chance to make a good choice.

I find this to be one of the more interesting threads. Nearly 6 months after my initial post and I am STILL struggling. Meaning I am bouncing outside my bounce range. I looked back at some old pictures when I was well under goal and I did not look better. I am finding 3.5 years post band to sleeve revision a time to both continue the struggle (never surrender. ..quote from Galaxy Quest) combined with a degree of acceptance. Ya know, I never really was a skinny chick.. Last month or so I have actually found myself thinking about dairy queen blizzards and other old habits I left behind years ago. I think that I have abandoned some of my new rituals which has left room for old bad ones to return. So far no DQ; but I have been thinking about what additional help or support I might be needing right now.

i have had a rough couple of weeks. My weight is a few pounds over my bounce range and my cutest pants are too tight to look cute. grumble. I have been in maintenance long enough that I don't really seek or need validation of my looks, appearance, size or whatever... but when you are feeling kinda "fat' and you get it... it kinda helps with perspective and to stop being so negative. So, I was at a "working meeting" for a global company. One of the men i work with (he is from Europe so we have only met a few times) had very cute pictures of his kid on his computer so we were talking about kids. I told him mine were way past the cute phase and when he asked how old and I told him... in their 20s, in fact my youngest graduated college last year. He was genuinely shocked. Then, he looked my body up and down in a somewhat leering kind of way and said something like... "I will never believe it with a body like that." Ha... and then he cleared his throat and said.."maybe we should get back to work subjects" due to my circumstances, there was nothing in the least bit negative about that experience and it reminded me to not be so freaking hard on myself just because my smallest pants don't fit well right now. thank you work colleague - you made my day and actually whole week!

Ann, you made me laugh very hard with that one!

Well I hate to add to the general downer mood here... but I am feeling less than stellar myself. question I keep wondering is... "is this just the human condition, or is there something about the formerly obese that make us more prone to this?" I know for me that it very much wrapped up in my "mid life crisis" as far as not being sure what I really want out of life, what the next phases of life really hold for me. So many of my basic goals from my youth are either accomplished or whatever... and continue to struggle with something new to focus on. Most of the time I focus alot on fun and that makes me feel pretty good and allows me to avoid spending too much time in that "thought valley". Lately i have not been doing fun things at all. Not at all. I don't feel depressed per se, but i have zero desire to go out and dance, work out, ride horses or really do any of the things I normally would enjoy.

I revised band to sleeve 3.5 years ago. First surgeon I went to "poo poo'd " the sleeve and we didn't even discuss it. I had an irrational fear of bypass so just couldn't do it I met someone who encouraged me to go to a very pro sleeve surgeon and he recommended sleeve. He also had the support network all set up. I lost over 150 and have been maintaining just fine. However I also think I was wrong to be so afraid of the bypass.

Jennifer, take care of your husband; take care of yourself...we'll be here.

We had a chat room then it was removed and and about a month ago it was announced as back. At the time you bad to get there via the link(no button) so most people don't know how to access it. I will look around for the button as I know there are people who want to use it.

@@KateP has it exactly right BUT, those changes are more impactful the first 6-18 months, the"honeymoon" period. I am 3.5 years post sleeve and maintaining but it is more effort than ever. However hard it is, with the sleeve it is possible whereas before I couldn't maintain a weigbtloss for more than a few months and certainly not in single digit clothing sizes. My point is bariatric surgery really helps, it really is the best tool available for obese people to control their weight,but it still takes much effort.

It isn't you that caused the upset...it was me expressing my annoyance with this aspect of the forum. I do not go into the men's forum , read posts and look for ones to respond to. I often respond to new posts with no awareness of which forum it is in. Even this rant was in the wrong forum until I moved it. I feel as though perhaps some are a bit overly sensitive and read motives into actions that are just not there. I have no intention to "invade" someone space but accidents will happen until the posts are removed from the new posts feed on the webpage.

@@KateP I navigate the same way and in fact didnt notice this was in that forum. I moved it so you are good.

When you are recent post op you can't imagine being able to eat much....but things change. You'd be amazed at how easy it is to regain. I am 3.5 years post op and maintaining but it's work. Bypass patients can regain too.

I have made the same mistake since it shows up as a recent post and often the topics are general advice. I find it annoying we have these rules and doubly so that people get their panties in a twist when you accidently reply to someone asking for advice...

It has been 9 days, I believe, since you posted. How are you? Come back and correct my grammar or.. whatever!