CowgirlJane

As a wise member on here once said "you don't get over 300# without there being some sort of emotional issue". I really don't like counseling much, but I did it post WLS. For me, it was during the losing phase, it was after I hit goal. I was SO OVER food as a comfort, friend etc by the time I had WLS I was happy to be free of that drive to overeat. Others get very very stressed by the dietary restrictions in those early months post surgery. I found adjusting to a new body (half my former weight) and basically a new lifestyle combined with other big changes in my life to be difficult. Actually, I think the truth is that obesity and overeating "numbed" alot of my feelings. When I became more active, physically healthy etc. I suddently FELT all those old numbed feelings and it was pretty overwhelming. You don't have to read to far on these boards to find that many people have either sought out counseling support... or from the sounds of how distressed they are during the process should consider it. Surgeon's aren't counselors, and can't really help but i am a bit surprised that your surgeon doesn't at least acknowledge this issue as it is pretty well known. Good news is, it is all worth it because in the end you have a better life.

Ok. I have had the band and then later the sleeve...you made the right choice. You have a brand new baby tummy! Like a Newborn it needs alot of TLC but it will mature and become much easier. I am 3.5 years post band to sleeve revision. I can eat enough at a sitting I just look like a petite eater. I am healthy, I am normal size, like my looks and like single digit clothing sizes. Give this time. What you experience now is temporary and take advantage of it to lose weight because a year from now you will regret not taking full advantage if you don't.

I had Fluid removed from my band in 2003....gained weight for sure as it was completely ineffective. Then I had the band removed in Sept 2011 - I was shocked at the 24/7 hunger and drive to eat. The only way I managed it was eating very low carb but I still gained. It was miserable but the good thing that came from it is I had NO DOUBT I needed the sleeve.

Forgot to mention.. today I had protein drinks for breakfast and lunch and then my restaurant "birthday dinner". I took my BDay off from work and did work around my place, was really active all day. Only reason I had my lunch shake is that I felt weak/tired - no hunger. The lesson that I learn over, and over and over again is quite simple. When I am eating alot, i get hungry. When I eat lightly my appetite decreases. sheesh, this isn't that complicated and yet it continues to be elusive.

Well, today is my birthday and for the most part it was a very good day - that ended kind of negatively. It sucks when that happens. for some reason my kid is really pissed off - what started it was he left a bunch of stuff out when he made dinner - which he almost always does. I get home and of course started doing my usual of cleaning up the mess when i just thought.. this is ridiculous. I waited for him to get out of the shower and then insisted he clean his own mess up. I was very calm through all of it, but he claims that he doesn't mind "helping out" but the way i communicate makes him angry. It was all i could do to keep from saying something i would regret like - MOVE YOUR EFFING ASS OUT... how do you like THAT communication...lol. He is planning to move in a month so no particular reason to damage our relationship any further by getting all upset. It is just old, really old. Then Scott called. He forgot it was my birthday, not that big of a deal since I told him when we first met. I tried to remind him when we talked early in the week, but he was so preoccupied with his daughter he wasn't really into talking to me so i just let it go. anyway, the disappointing part was last time we talked we were going to get together next week. He forgot about that and started going on about how he signed her up for hunters education classes so next week will be sitting through that every night from 6-9pm. So I was like...oh, i guess we aren't getting together next week and then I hear the wheels turning as he starts saying, oh we can do lunch or something. I do think he wants to keep seeing me, but he gets so obsessed.. so focused on what is in front of him. He is a very intense person which I am okay with, but you need to be able to follow more than one track at once. His daughter is and should be his #1 priority but this is kind of ridiculous that there is scarcely time for a phone call. Anyway, I am not all depressed, more annoyed than anything. Damn, before those last two interactions of the day - I would have said that turning freaking 51 wasn't so bad...

@@Georgia are you feeling better? i can't recall... you started zoloft or some such med? I am not taking any meds for moods right now. I am not against it, just get the side effects. anyway, I am noticing alot of internal shifts in how I feel about things / see the world. Some of them seem really positive, just more accepting, less anxious. I am tackling home projects with a focus that has eluded me the last few years. Less ping ponging around... Some of them seem a bit negative - like I am going back to reading alot and other old "avoidance" behaviors. I am not feeling social - haven't gone dancing or listening to live music much at all. I used to go to happy hour once a week with my friend Mary. I just don't have the desire. Last night I went with her to look at a canopy she wants to buy and we went out for a bite and a drink afterwards at a place in a different town than we usually meet in. We had a blast - sat next to some very social people and really enjoyed ourselves. I met a civilian navy support guy who was very cool... we shared a bit of wine. He is a cowboy type from Wyoming! Too bad he is leaving the area in a week or I would have invited him to come out riding. Outdoorsmen always love getting into the mountains on horseback! I am hosting a gathering on Saturday which i hope will be fun. It is weird for me to be anti-social but sometimes I feel that way so having 20 people at my house will be a test of my feelings about all that. @@Oregondaisy - sorry the new date is disappointing. It takes quite awhile to get to know someone and then... do you really know them? Ha. I thought Bill had a new girlfriend? Is he back because that didn't work out? A long while ago went on a few dates with a guy and it was obvious he was texting another woman etc... no biggie we had just met, right? Well, I let him sort of fade away and I assume they connected. About 2 months later I hear from him and he acted like we had just talked 2 days, not 2 months earlier. I didn't say it, but thought "guess she didn't work out" - I have no interest in someone who is holding me in backup and that it what it seemed like to me. I have a friend who simply gave up men/dating/sex/relationships in her late 40s because of all this. I know there are exceptions, but i tend to think it is pretty hard to find a good mate midlife/middle age, retirement age. My mom did, but I just am not sure it is worth the effort... I have been seeing Scott for 3 months and we are so compatible on so many fronts. I have really enjoyed learning to fish, he rides and likes many of the outdoor things I do. I want to learn to shoot a bow (his is too big for me so i would have to buy one) and i know he would be willing to teach me. He loves to cook and we often cook meals together which has been really enjoyable. There are some things I don't care for, but that is just typical ...however... I don't think he is emotionally available. Maybe he isn't over his divorce, maybe he never will be. Lots of stuff behind all that but he decided to go back to counseling over it. I haven't seen him in a week (we usually see each other 2-3 times a week) because his daughter just got to town and they had a bunch of planned events for beginning of summer. I notice he hasn't made time to text and call except perhaps once in over the week. I notice it doesn't bother me that much. That makes me think we aren't really that crazy about each other... suspect he moves into "friend" and activity partner category since we don't have a sexlife anyway... I haven't been dating others and don't intend to start right now. Busy. If someone cool falls out of the sky - awesome - but i am not doing the searching thing right now. I have a plan for that, which I won't pursue until fall/winter. I do like having companion to do things with and I do very much like a physical relationship (not just sex, but the touch and intimacy) but you know I can't seem to find that all in one package that actually wants me too. Not quite willing to compromise. I think I would rather stay single.

@@sarsar - glad you are a little less dizzy. What a setback that whole ordeal has been. You and I both understand that we don't want to give up being active! It is part of my life now and i am not giving up easy! @@coops That is so cool about your daughter and you doing the challenge. I don't really have anyone to do that with! Keeping fingers crossed on your job prospects. I also agree you need to sometimes just go for it!!! Florinda - loved the black dog Kim - what is going on in your art world?

@@samuelsmom thanks for posting the article. I was banded in Europe in 2001;revised to sleeve in 2011. I was a member of online support groups and devised my own guesstimate about success rates. I always said about 1/3 do well, about 1/3 do very poorly (poor losses.or complications) and about a 1/3 lose some weight but not enough and have minor but troubling complications. The last category was me as a bandster. Lost 70.... needed to lose another 50. Regained the 70 plus 40 more so my revision weight was 3 0 8. That isn't even the whole truth...at some point while banded I weighed mid 300s....So not just 150-160# overweight but more like 180plus overweight. I also had reflux if I had Fluid so regain happened when fluid needed to be removed.

Yeah!

i am sorry, the Almanza part was for a different post. I was very frustrated with my Kindle last night!

My kindle does NOT get along with this forum....sorry. Anyway I had multiple procedures under twilight sedation in Mexico in Oct 2013..i remain thrilled with my results. It was absolutely the right decision for me. During my plastics journey I learned there are trade offs... For you to decide... spend many many months going to consults, looking at before and after photos (of people of your age, and comparative "befores". Talk to people on the phone if you can. Really think hard about this. Is Dr Almanza clinic really good at reconstructive plastics after massive weight loss?

Have you been to multiple free consults yet? I would do that at a minimum before getting a loan.

I revised 3.5 years ago lost over 160# and have kept off 150 of em. My experience was band relied on restriction /pain...the sleeve less so. my sleeve is predictable calm and doesn't magically toss back "bad" foods. What it does is reduce hunger and capacity ...which combined with following bariatric guidelines achieves weight loss. The sleeve has been what the band promised but never delivered.

I had the classic Mexican surgeons multiple

There are several of you that I admire the pic that shows up every time you post. I thought about mentioning names, but I don't want to exclude anyone and by mentioning the included, you sadly create the excluded... so I am NOT doing that right now. I truly enjoy so many of your avatars... tell me about them! For those of you that don't have something - why NOT??? mine: I have been on this site for YEARS, but my pictures have changed. My current one is of me from the backside riding my horse taken summer 2014... a glorious summer on many dimensions. I recognize that I am a middle aged woman, with some less than perfect attributes... yet I love that pic. I love that day. I love that I am an anon 50 YO cowgirl in this picture! If you knew this particular horse and her challenges (she really really hates Water crossings. She is way bigger than me. Do the math.) you would love this moment in the river too. NEXT???

What I believe is that people use the word stall to mean different things. What I consider a stall is that you are eating such that you "should" be losing weight but temporarily it does not show up on the scale. Our bodies are not machines, we aren't a car that always gets 40 MPG on the highway. The scale sometimes lies... Water retention or whatever. A stall is NOT "I have been overeating, off program and not losing weight"

The standard way to do a "pouch test" is using cottage cheese. I think you can google it to get details. You can also have the doctor do an endoscopy to check out your functional stomach size, but i am going to tell you that it matters less then you think. I think many of us don't even know what normal hunger/full signals feel like. Even all these years post sleeve, I STILL confuse emotional hunger, thirst and real hunger. I know you aren't asking for advice but even if your capacity is more than you think it should be - what are the alternatives? When I went through this same feeling I started to realize that HOW and WHAT I eat impacts my "level of hunger" way more than anything. You might consider exploring that a bit more. It was a hard cold realization that even post sleeve, i need to carefully monitor and manage my eating.

This probably sounds like splitting hairs, but in my mind doing something like substituting a vegetable for Pasta noodles is an outstanding "lifestyle change" example. Adding Protein powder to cheesecake might not be an ideal example because what you risk is having something that has all the bad (sugars, fats, possible overeating triggers etc) and is simply made less tasty by adding the Protein Powder. When I have a dessert, I want it to be delish... and I have a very small portion. If it is isn't off the hook wonderful, I don't eat it. If I do eat it, i enjoy it. So, I DO deprive myself in the sense that i don't consume every random item my brains says "that looks good" - I stay away from snack aisle in grocery. If an old favorite "calls me" I ask myself if i really want it... most of the time it is no. However, I also think that consuming food is one of life's pleasures and I am not going to view it as a forced misery march for the rest of my life. Luckily, I LOVE seafood, fish, chicken, beef and vegetables! I also love many carby foods like bread, potatos etc but that family of food is an overeating trigger for me so I consider them "treats" rather than daily staples. pizza is another great example - it can be made healthy but at the stage I am at, I can eat more quantity then is ideal for me... so I always regret it when I start down the pizza path... I don't abstain completely, but it is an example of a food i probably SHOULD abstain from since it tends to cause me to overeat. That might not be true for everyone, but I suspect it is true for many. I also suspect that those of us with a more advanced "disease of obesity" when we started this whole bariatric deal might be more prone to sensitivity to trigger foods. I do not know if that is true, but my own body changed alot the last 15 years or so I spend morbidly obese.

I DO agree with the main message if even I DON'T agree with every assertion made. the larger point, which matches my personal experience (I am 3.5 years post band to sleeve revision and maintaining) is that you WILL regain if you don't make fundamental shifts in the way you eat. For some people, it will also contribute to not losing their desired amount of excess weight. There are people who advocate anything you like, any time and rely on the restriction to keep your portions small. That works the first 6 months, heck maybe even the first 2 years for some people. Across the board, when people hit the 3-4-5 years out ... things really change. If you have any doubts about that, read some posts in the veterans forum... So, I do sometimes have a sandwich with bread... but rarely. My daily life is a moderate carb diet with most of those carbs coming from vegetables (and lets be honest, a glass of wine here and there). My daily plate is very reflective of a bariatric diet even now 3.5 years post op. When I get cocky and veer from that, i gain weight in a heartbeat.

I think 28# in a month is amazing..good job!

Meow

@@RichardVST please watch that video. What you are experiencing is NORMAL. the key is to keep 20# regain from turning into 200#.

@@allycatt98 Ithank you for your compliments. At times I judge myself harshly but truth is...I have a rockin bod for someone on the verge of 51. .. I am eternally grateful. I am not trying to sell anyone anything but I was very pleased with the entire Dr Sauceda experience. I dunno if there are better choices but I do know he is an excellent choice for massive weight loss patients. It sounds corny, but this man's calling is to help us look and feel normal. He respects massive weight loss and one of the few who will do skin removal on people who are still too big by social standards. He"gets" it.

I even found one USA surgeon starting to use twilight for SOME procedures. It is controversial. So, I was curious about your remark of the Mexican plastic surgeons being same price as USA. things must have really changed over the last 2 years...because that is not at all what i saw. I didn't go to Mexico due to cost alone though; for me there were alot of other factors including the 2 weeks close monitoring/aftercare which i valued.

I notice that the title thing isn't working.